aS SToA GRE sete t ie, ts ii 4, e. if Rs iat Siu a esta: oS ty Ti A gene et Bo i Gi a Ty ikiked mutate eon sates Ht Peat see . ajaeate sy ito, she Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2022 with funding from University of Toronto Scarborough Library https://archive.org/details/underground22scar “oN N TRIS 3 ITE. SAFETY BOOTS HARD HATS MUST BE WORN IS UYTSGC Tike a fail CAA bP . ‘ tren 2 A Paid Advertisement A WELCOME AND WELCOME BACK From FOOD AND BEVERAGE SERVICES 2002-2003 will be the first of many exciting years at UTSC as we grow and expand. Our best wishes to all new and returning members of the UTSC community. The first stage of developing new food service facilities and services began with the selection of Aramark campus Services as the supplier of cafeteria and catering services on campus. In 2002 new services will include a full service Tim Horton's franchise in the Bladen Foyer and a Pita Pit franchise in the R-Wing cafeteria. A substantial expansion of services and facilities in the H-Wing cafeteria is anticipated for the fall of 2003. Accommodating Change A large part of the excitement is because of the many changes quickly taking place around us on campus. The change can also lead to confusion and frustration so we all recognize that communication will be key to keeping campus services (not just food services) in tune with the needs of the campus. Food and Beverage Services relies on the Food and Beverage Services Users Committee as a vital link with the UTSC community. Last year’s Committee was an important part of the selection of a food services contractor for the campus. As plans to renovate and expand the H-Wing facilities move forward, the Committee will provide valuable contributions to the development programme. : This year’s members are: Edward Eng Graduate Student Tom Walker Residence Student Scott Tremblay Undergraduate Student — Preet Virdi Undergraduate Student Dan Bandurka Undergraduate Student Professor Karen Henderson Faculty Brigitte Macdonald Administrative/Unionized Staff Jim Dunsdon Student Housing Jack Martin Director of Hospitality and Retail Services Wynona Bardgett Conference Services Peter Smith Food and Beverage Services The Committee meets on a regular basis and members welcome your views and ideas. Direct communication with Aramark Campus Services is also an important tool in the communication between food service guests and the service provider. Got a problem with a purchase? Bring it to the attention of the Aramark employees. If you are note satisfied with a purchase, Aramark guarantee a refund or replacement of your purchase. On less specific immediate issues and concerns, Alex Khan, Aramark Food Services Director will be in the H-Wing cafeteria every Thursday from 6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. ready to take questions, requests, comments and concerns and food services at UTSC. Each week the notes and responses to issues from the one hour sessions will be posted on the notice board outside the H-Wing Cafeteria main entrance. As the media mainstay of UTSC, The Underground will be used for passing along important information on programmes, projects and issues of interest. Next week look for information in the Underground on Meal Plans: how to avoid paying tax on food purchases and save money. September Services Schedule Despite the efforts of UTSC and Aramark Campus Services the Bladen Foyer Tim Horton's is not 5 | _ ready for the start of classes. To deal with this set-back, the following locations will offer services according to the schedule below. Updates will be provided in as timely a manner as possible. H-Wing Cafeteria: ; Monday to Thursday 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Fridays 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Saturdays 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Sundays Closed R-Wing Cafeteria: Monday to Thursday 10:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Fridays 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Saturdays 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Sundays 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. (Pita Pit Only) (Pita Pit Only) Cooperation Food and Beverage Services and Aramark will make all possible efforts to accommodate the increased demands on the facilities and services. In return, users are asked to be co-operative and understanding of other users: Clean up after yourself. Use the appropriate recycling and waste receptacles. Limit the use of the cafeterias for studying outside of 11am-3pm and 4pm-7pm. Leave the furniture set-ups in place. Obstructed aisles are a serious challenge for members of our community who rely on wheelchairs for mobility. The seating areas are laid out to accommodate the maximum number of users. If you see someone looking for a seat, take your coat and pile of books off the seat next to you and offer it. Anytime questions come up, contact me at the e-mail below. | may not have the answer you want but at least I'll have an answer. Peter Smith Manager, Food and Beverage Services UTSC pjhsmith@utsc.utoronto.ca Wednesday, September 11, 2002 Chris McKinnon. Editor-in-Chief Karim Kassam Taking Care of Business Associate Editor Production Manager Greg Brown James Relunia Mario Kangeswaren Associate Production Managers News Editor vacant Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor vacant Sports Editor vacant Graphics Editor Greg Brown Photography Editor vacant On-Line Editor vacant Advertising Manager vacant Accounting Manager Michelle Ng A (cultural) Affair fo Remember Accounting Assistants Julianna Lam Millie Ng Staff Writer Meghan Hurley ®@ Staff Photographer Contributors: Merika Ramundo, Patricia Ocampo, Shelly Crawford, Adam Grachnik, Sachin Hingoo Also in this Issue: Editorial | Opinion p.4 Retrospective: Arts UTSC Mourns P.5 Clearing up the film festival p.11 A Better World is Necessary p.5 Arts and Culture discussion for those Letters and Opinions Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that _ submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Campus-wide Handbook raises ire among interested in management P. 12 Jewish groups p.6 Chemical Sister p.1 3 News: Reviews Student groups united, CFS not invited p.7 Music - Highly Evolved p.14 Frosh 2002 p.8 Film - Spirited Away p.1 5 “Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground’s ‘snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and | guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty ee and criticisms (especially Cover photo: Chris McKinnon Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) 6 Scarborough, ON Scarborough Campus, M1C 1A4 national advertising. Phone: 416.287.7054 member of Canadian Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ " University Press (CUP). http://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground Editorial | Opinions aS Welcome dear frosh! Welcome. You've heard it a Zillion times already, but here itis again: Welcome. To construction, to growth, to line-ups, to overextended student services, to missing libraries and classes held in large semipermanent tents. You've surely picked a great school to attend; truly it is the meeting place of great minds. Great minds, for sure, but there is something to be said about everything else. This is the first issue of The Underground’s 22" year of publication here at UTSC. It started as a weekly rag, with silly pictures of college antics and sports games and student government reports. A few years back, this paper went through a rough time, when the editors turned these pages to their own blatant self-promotion, and mostly what appeared herein were film reviews: (they attended the screenings for free you see), some creative writing that the editorial staff liked, and an editorial that consisted of poetry: terrible poetry that could suck the life out of you, would make you cry out of sheer boredom, make you forget to ever read such a silly news-magazine again. Last year, my predecessor, Patricia Ocampo went a long way to bring this paper back up to snuff. She put our bank accounts back in the black for the first time in years, and worked diligently to make the articles that were printed rel- evant to our community. | owe her a great debt, indeed we all do, fair students, because had it not been for Patricia, this paper might still be in the hands of that clique of glory-pigs. And so, here it is: My manifesto as the brand-spank- ing new editor of this fine rag. | say that The Underground will not balk at pointing fingers, or giving polite criticism where such is due, making wild accusations when and where those are due. We will get to the bottom of this silly “growth” business that our UTSC Administrators keeps huff- ing about, we'll get the scoop on this library, we'll publish funny pictures of you in frosh uniforms, or dancing around at pubs, or looking sour-faced and studying in a cubicle that you had to fight tooth and nail for. We will lament with you the cafeteria food, the lack of study space. We'll hold this university to its word on “Positive Space,” make them see it isn't Just a campaign you play around with for a year, we'll push for anti-racism and anti-oppression initiatives, because despite its diversity, UTSC often lacks tolerance (just take a look at the aforementioned study cubicles.) We will be there and we will not stop hankering and prying and begging and pieading until we, until you, dear students, are satisfied. The Underground Is your voice and your forum. We will no longer adhere to the restrictive prohibitions former editorial boards have placed on Opinion pieces and Letters to the Editor. | will publish anything of that ilk that we receive, with a valid name and student number; you my dears, will have a voice. We'll have UTSC by the nuts, and we won't let go until Admin. says uncle; by no means will we let go until someone is held responsible for the travesties that this school imposes on its students in the name of growth and progress and all manners of slipshod excuses. Gazebos, ARCs and Student Centres oh my! What a ride we'll have this year, dear reader. Are you angry? We are too! Are you unsatisfied? Join the club! This paper is yours and | give it back to you. Get in. Speak up. Stay tuned. Chris McKinnon Taking Care of Business: Isn’t UTSC Like a Public Toilet? Merika |. Ramundo As an alumnus of UTSC and a regular columnist for The Underground | would like you to begin your school year with this analogy in mind: | liken student involvement at UTSC to the experience of choosing a bathroom stall in a public washroom. Before any more books get taken out of the Bladen Library and placed into storage, let me explain. No one ever really wants to do their business in public bathroom stalls, in fact, | know many people at this very campus who have an aversion to stalls in general, but some- times things just need to be done. In these rare instances, | have been witness to the microcosmic milieu that is the public washroom experience, specifically when it comes to one’s choice of stall. In all my dealings with lavatories, whether it was while in line or while washing my hands, | have noticed that if people are given the choice, they never choose the first stall. It is as if there is something special waiting beyond that first stall that will make the experience so much more bearable, so much more fulfilling. Ironically enough, at the end of the day it is that very “first stall” that one would want to eat off, were it to come to that. So what does this have to do with UTSC? UTSC is that first stall. UTSC is that pris- tine opportunity that lies there waiting to be tapped into. We all know that the experience here at UTSC is what we make of it. | am preaching to the converted for if you're reading this paper then you essentially want to know something about the happenings here at UTSC. Thank you. For you other skeptics, immediate concerns might outweigh long term benefits. For instance, you commuters who drive to UTSC have one objective here: to go to class and go home. Your motto is “learn and leave”. Students on residence have a similar train of thought. We get to see this place 24 hours a day, even days a week. So where does that leave us? Are we all just a bunch of cave dwellers from Plato's Allegory of the Cave? Well, as the driving force behind this entity we call UTSC, students can either be shackled to the concrete, uncomfortable couches and hallway study spaces or we can escape the limitations of the cave through a long, tortuous, intellectually involved journey that will bring us to an awareness that goes beyond university schooling. Again, it is ultimately our choice. The mural next to the Bladen Library is a perfect example of the need for student engagement with the university that serves it. It shows people breaking down barriers, breaking through the concrete in order to move towards something bigger than itself. in my time here, | have been proactive and sought out positive change in my environment. | have had my share of wins and losses. | have wanted to resist the light of the outside world but let’s face it — if we are privileged enough to be getting an education, we owe it to ourselves and the future of this country to attempt to be leaders in our community both here at UTSC and in the real world. | want to leave you with a quote from my neighbour on residence Phil, who last year was a first year student, and, like me, believes in the importance of the student voice on campus. “Maybe the fact that our school is made of concrete is a good thing because it makes the people and things that go on in it so much brighter”. Brighter indeed... if we let it. Liked what you read? Want to praise us? Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: Editor-in-chief - cate The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S364 — Scarborough, ON MIC IA4 or email undergnd@uts« -utoronto.ca with “Opinion” or “Letter. to the Editor” inthe subject line. dad ay, you can also Criticize us if you really, really, really must) “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde 4 http:/Awww.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘ Sn pe le ae eel ' Retrospective UTSC burns (Reprinted from The Underground, September 19, 2002) Patricia Ocampo Editor-in-chief (2001-2002) On Friday, September 14, [2002] the University of Toronto at Scarborough held a memorial in the wake of the recent terrorist attacks on the United States. Principal Paul Thompson discussed the need for separating emotion from the necessary actions that must be taken. “The discourse...and the impact...of these events occur on many levels. Two of [the] prominent ones...will be the geo-politi- cal level and the horror of the human tragedy. It’s important to keep these various levels separate because over the coming days there will be a multitude of different opinions about the geo- political causes, about the proper response, about the appropriate areas of blame. But despite all of those differences...on the level of the horrific human tragedy, there will be agreement. Lives were unnecessarily and brutally lost. If we don't keep these separate...we run the risk of doing a disservice to both of these areas of our contem- plation and our attention.” Thompson also addressed the growing fear surrounding speculations about the United States’ next moves. “Collectively, we need to ensure that this cannot happen again. We need to look at the causes, we need to debate where to go...collectively, we need to hold those respon- sible, fully accountable, but in doing so we need to avoid being pulled into the whirlpool of hate, violence and inhumanity that mimics the dark acts of the perpetrators.” Three wicks of one candle were lit by a stu- dent, staff member and faculty member to symbol- ize the “identification of the faculty, staff and stu- dents of the University of Toronto at Scarborough with the lives lost and the cruel impact on those that knew them.” Wednesday, September 11, 2002 REMEMBERING 9/12 A Better World is Necessary (Reprinted from The Underground, September 19, 2002) Alex Kerner Rise-Up! U of T, St. George Campus http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ han enn ttl: nme ne na The attack on American civilians last Tuesday has left the world in shock, horrified by the immensity of death and carnage caused by the attack on the World Trade Centre in New York. We send out our condolences and sympathies to the families and friends of the victims. But we are also afraid that this horrible act of terror will be followed by further senseless violence. The United States and its NATO allies are prepared to launch a full-scale war in retaliation. Therefore, it is important to understand the background of what happened. Why is it that so many people around the world look toward the US with contempt and hate? Why would anyone feel it necessary to commit such an act of terrorism? Unfortunately, there are too many reasons. American foreign policy of disrespect for the will and desires of any other people has been the norm. In Iraq, over one million people have died in the last ten years as a result of US-backed sanctions. The United States has bombed inno- cent civilians in Lebanon, Sudan and most recently, Serbia. They have funded death squads and. bloody coups in El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Chile. They have tacitly condoned the geno- cide of 200,000 East Timorese by Indonesia. The legacy of imperialism has left people in pov- erty, war, with nothing left to live for. The danger that Tuesday’s attack will be used for violent ends is imminent. Already we are hearing of violent attacks against Arab youth provoked by the constant reference to “Arab terrorism.” All Western countries seem prepared to go to war, only bringing about more bloodshed. We need to provide a very different answer: if we want a world of peace and justice, we need to have a world that truly prioritizes those things. The Underground Campus Campus-wide handbook raises | ire among Jewish groups Dedication misunderstood says editor Published: Wed-4-Sep-2002 lan Ferguson , The Varsity This year’s edition of a popular student publication contains a controversial dedi- cation that has angered Jewish groups on campus. The Anti-Calendar is a summary of course evaluations—the feedback professors receive from their students every year via a paper questionnaire handed out in the last weeks of class. Published by the Arts and Science Student Union (ASSV), it has long served as a source of advice on course content. But a passage on the inside front cover proclaims the Anti-Calendar is “Dedicated to the memory of the Innocents, Afghanistan and Palestine, murdered.” According to Terry Buckland, the editor of the Anti-Calendar, the dedication came about almost at random: “I just picked two areas of the world,” he said. “It's not just nations that fight against each other, it’s not just armies that fight against each other ... it's often innocent people,” said Buckland. But ASSU has received calls from students asking if the dedication expresses sympathy only for Palestinian victims of violence. “| think it’s a horrible, horrible attempt to marginalize the Jewish community at the U of T,” said Frank Dimant, executive vice-president of B’nai Brith Canada, a Jewish advocacy organization. “This is meant to be harmful and spiteful to Jewish students,” he said. Buckland denied that the word “Palestine” was intended to exclude Jewish victims of terrorist attacks. “When | wrote it, | didn’t think of it that way, | must admit. | still don't,” he said. “That’s not what | meant, that’s not what | implied. “It's a very simple statement to me, those innocent people have nothing to do with politics or anything.” The director of another Jewish student organization said she had received several comments about the Anti-Calendar’s dedication. “If they're going to highlight the Middle East, it should have been dedicated to all victims of terror in the Middle East,” said Lisa lsen Baumal, director of Jewish campus life for Jewish Campus Services. “How could they be selective about certain victims of terror and not others?” she asked. “I think it’s going to raise a lot of eyebrows. It’s not a positive thing.” Dimant agreed, adding, “It's very sad that the U of T is following Concordia University in isolating Jewish students.” Concordia University’s 2001-2002 student handbook featured articles praising the Palestinian uprising. Two Concordia Student Union councillors were banned from the campus after spraying what they called “Anti-Arabophobic’” graffiti on a building and allegedly brawling with campus security. Buckland said he had received several calls complaining about the dedications. Several students told him that the Anti-Calendar should have mentioned the World Trade Center attacks. Notice of Fall Elections The Scarborough Campus Students’ Union will be holding their annual fall elections and by-elections during the following dates: September 17-24: Nomination Period September 26-October 7: Campaign Period October 8-9: Voting Period SCSL For more information or to pick up a nomination package, please contact SCSU in the BladenBuilding at UTSC in room B-330, or at 416-287-7047 Get Elected, Get Involved nsos~ /89°OJUOIOIN'ISIN- MMM , 6 Sint | \ » hitb: wwaw.uitsc.utoronto.calrundergnd/ * Va ‘Campus Student groups united, CFS not invited post-secondary issues Published: Tue-3-Sep-2002 Adam Grachnik, Ottawa Bureau Ten student lobby groups from across the country have unanimously released five declarations addressing post-secondary education, but the largest national group was left out of the proceedings. At a Montreal conference, co-hosted by the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations (CASA) and La Federation Etudiante Universitaire du Quebec (FEUQ), leaders representing over 700,000 students united and called on the Liberal government to address, sky-rocketing tuition, deregula- tion, federal transfer payments and the inclusion of education in free-trade agree- ments. However, the conference didn’t have the input of the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) — largely because the national group wasn’t invited. “CFS is pretty left-wing. They have some harsh statements about tuition,” said CASA communications coordinator, Erin Stevenson.-“We couldn’t [have] come to a consensus with them. What we wanied to achieve, [we] couldn’t have achieved.” “{Our] position on tuition is clear and non-negotiable with other groups,” said lan Boyko, CFS national chairperson. “I heard there was a request by a few schools that we be there.” “CFS is pretty excited that other student groups are starting to take on the FTAA [and] more student groups are coming onto the tuition fight. [It’s] not easy to do it by ourselves,” said Boyko. - “CFS has its own forums, this wasn’t done out of spite for anyone,” said James Meloche, executive director of Ontario University Student Alliance [OUSA], one of ten provincial groups attending the conference, where the declarations were released. “There will probably come a time where we can sit down with them.” The most contentious declaration, according to Stevenson, called on the Federal Government to do an independent research on the impacts of the inclusion of education in FTAA, GATS and Chapter 11 of the NAFTA. “The general consensus was_ that people are against putting education on any free trade agreement,” said Meloche. Groups reach unanimous agreement on “OUSA doesn’t have a written position on this, but we”re against privatization and deregulation. It weakens institutions, brings in a spectra of privatization and a two-tier system,” he said. “{If we allow] private institutions to come to Canada to set up shop, they can take public money. We’re against education in trade agreements it’s to scary a proposi- tion,” said Stevenson. Additionally, the group called on the Federal Government to increase funding for post-secondary education, “to a level no less than the constant dollar value of the funding in 1993-94,” the declaration, obtained by Canadian University Press, read. In 1993-94, Stevenson said, the Federal Government gave the provinces $2.9 billion for post-secondary education. However, she said, when the Liberal government came to power, post-secondary education funding was lumped together with health care and social spending under the Canadian Health and Social Transfer (CHST). In 1995 $7 bil- lion was cut from this new fund, resulting in less funding for post-secondary institutions. Currently, the CFS.estimates, the gov- ernment has cut over a billion dollars out of post-secondary education since 1992. The other three declarations called on tuition to be both affordable and regulated by the Provincial Government, for ancillary fees not to be used as a replacement of tuition and it opposed differential tuition fee levels within an institution. Each provincial group will present the declarations to their respective provincial education ministers and CASA hopes to deliver them to Finance Minister John Manley, whom Stevenson expects to meet with in November. Other groups attending the conference were the Nova Scotia Student Advocacy Coalition (NSSAC), New Brunswick Student Alliance (NBSA), College Student Alliance (CSA), University of Manitoba Students” Union (UMSU), Council of Alberta University Students (CAUS), Alberta College and Technical - Institutes Student Executive Council (ACTISEC) and the University of British Columbia Students” Union (UBCS). “Attp// Www .ut86‘utdronto:ca/~Lindergnd/ Wednesday, September 11, 2002 10% nore for IREWARDS saving cards 1/2 price for students: from September Ist to September 30th ° Get 10% off regularly priced books and Bargain books” ¢ IREWARDS points good towards rewards vouchers™ ° And lots more when you join IREWARDS at any Indigo, Chapters or Coles. : i COLES Chapter ee aES mp er Chapters Indigo www.chapters.ca Books Music & more www.indigo.ca COLES Bs 0 1010) @ 910) 9 8 3 ™ IREWARDS is a trademark of Indigo Books & Music Inc. * Regular membership price of $20 discounted to $10, valid until September 30, 2002, with valid University, College or other post-secondary school identification. ** 10% off regularly priced books, Bazaar/Bargain books and audiobooks *** $5 IREWARDS vouchers earned for every 300 points collected. The Underground Campus FROSH 2002 dog . - Frosh week has come and gone, but the pictures will last forever! As promised, here is the special full colour pull-out section featuring Orientation 2002 in all its glory. See frosh dance. See frosh run. See frosh following Jerry Ewing’s every command in that ridiculous playfair... We at The Underground are ter- ribly glad that you survived Orientation 2002. Because really, what would the school year be without frosh? So you had a great time with your new best friends? Tell us about it. Hated every minute of it? Tell us about that too. The chanting, the marching, the water fights and all those friends that Jerry made you meet... We want to know about it. To have your experiences recorded in the Frosh Confessional, contact The Underground at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca BB ee weed’: Fe eaty “ ST eee . FOSS Fo = = ss http /www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ = Campus Wednesday, September 11, 2002 ‘a 6.4 HA bas Getting through school can be hard. Getting there shouldn’t be. That’s why we offer discounted fares with a valid GO Transit student ID. And as if that weren’t enough, starting September 3rd, our Hamilton-Pickering Highway 407 Express GO Bus service will be improved. And along the way you can transfer to other GO services including the newly expanded Oakville-Markham Highway 407 Express GO Bus service. For details check our website, or just give us a call. SERVING U OF T AT SCARBOROUGH MCMASTER CAR POOL LOT SQUARE ONE YORK CENTENNIAL COLLEGE PICKERING UNIVERSITY BRONTE AD. @ 407 MISSISSAUGA UNIVERSITY PROGRESS CAMPUS TOWN CENTRE HAMILTON CAR POOL LOT CAR POOL LOT BRAMALEA SCARBOROUGH uOF TAT PICKERING GO CENTRE OUNDAS @ 407 —s TRAFALGAR AD. @ 407 GO STATION TOWN CENTRE SCARBOROUGH GO STATION 442-869 3200 1889 GET ON GO waw.gottaasit.com TTY teletypewsiters only: 800 38) 3052 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 9 The Underground pe “Bringing in groups that will represent the community has been really impor- tant fo me. p> & eah Takata brings Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief When | find her in her office, Leah Takata is hard at work, as she always is if you chance by her “cozy” office on the third- floor of the Bladen Wing. The Cultural Affairs office is located prominently in the same hallway as the Women’s Centre and the SCSU offices. And students do drop by the smallish office, where Takata, the Office’s Coordinator, and up to four volun- teers and co-op students are busy putting together a whole year’s worth of events and public relations to bring arts and culture to UTSC and the surround- ing community. “Sometimes students [coming into the office] will mistake me for an undergrad, ask me what year I’m in, what my major is...” Takata tells me, smiling. And then she has to correct them: Former Student. Takata spent five years at UTSC, as an Arts Management Co-op student majoring in Art History. Her time as an undergraduate has certainly helped her get a handle on the kind of programming that suits the UTSC community. She admits that having attended UTSC for five years and having lived in Scarborough prior to that, has helped. “I guess | feel a strong connection,” she says. Leah has brought large, insatiable crowds of people into the Meeting Place since she began with the Cultural Affairs Office in 1999, with events as varied as Japanese Taiko Drumming, to this years upcoming presentation of Ballet Creole. Diversity has been something of a mandate » for Takata in her programming. “One thing I’m especially proud of is to have brought in artists and performers that represent the community.” Takata says. She is quick to point out that this is a personal mandate rather than that of Cultural Affairs, itself. “When | started, a lot of the [Cultural Affairs presentations] were classical repertoire. So the first thing | did was to bring in a Japanese drum group and a flamenco guitarist, PAVLO...” Takata is very pleased with the results of her initiatives, which are called “Music of all Latitudes’. “When | started, | really thought about what | would want to see here. | could program a whole year of classical/ western repertoire, but, bringing in groups that will represent e ahhi-Jahatele LN \ Feature e world fo U the community has also been really important to me.” And her successes with Cultural Affairs are well documented. When the Toronto Tabla Ensemble visited UTSC, they brought a crowd of more than 400 people into the Meeting Place. “| really wasn’t sure how they would be received. It was over- whelming to see the number of people that came out. The Meeting Place hasn't been that packed in years, maybe since Diefenbaker came for the Watts Lecture. It was really some- thing... And | got so much feedback from students afterwards, thanking me for bringing in something that they could show their friends.” When | suggest that Takata is something of a * diversity warrior at UTSC, she remains humble. “l know I’m not going to make everyone happy, but, this year for instance, with the Afro-Carribean drumming and dancing, and the Korean [drumming] and traditional Arabic music: | think I’m close to hitting all the continents,” she laughs. Takata puts together another fascinating line-up of stage, dance, book readings and musical performance this year. How much does it all cost? The Cultural Affairs budget cur- rently hovers somewhere near $11,000. When she sees my disbelief, Takata quickly interjects “lll hear people say: ‘Leah pulls rabbits out of hats!’ But really, | look for help in logical places... When the Taiko drummers were coming, | approached the Japanese Embassy, and they helped fund the event.” It is obvious that even with such a measly budget, Takata works hard to get things done. She jokingly says that she would drive to every public library in Scarborough to drop off her Cultural Affairs calendars and promote the events she puts on. And yet somehow | think she’s half serious. The impending opening of the Academic Resource Centre will see a new 500 seat lecture hall/auditorium added to UTSC’s available space. This could mean better acoustics for Takata’s events, and a whole new world of possibilities for Cultural Affairs. The multi-purpose space could house all manner of live performance and multimedia presentation, and even more culturally relevant programming for UTSC and the surrounding community. : Check out the Cultural Affairs Line-up by picking up a Calendar in Room B306, or check out the Cultural Affairs Website at http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~cultural/ Poel a Arts Clearing up the film festival Keith Friedlander Arts Editor September means a lot of things in Toronto. Hand in hand with shortening days and back to school is the week long buzz about the Toronto International Film Festival. Already in mid- swing, this years festival is featuring 344 movies from all corners and cultures of the world, and as always the variety is too much for any one person to handle. We'll try and sum up some of the trends to be found in the festival this year and highlight some of the points of interest that will mark the 27" year of the TIFF. Cultural Cannes may be the largest film festival in the world, but Toronto is certainly the most diverse. Each year you can find a variety of films from dozens of countries, from six different continents, These movies aren't just highlighted and decorated movies from their homelands, but smaller and independent works as well (another niche the TIFF is known to support). The sheer mass of movies available for viewing from each part of the world makes it hard to get a full and diverse variety of showings; there’s just too much to see. But the options are limitless. Not only foreign culture, but a healthy dose _of Canadian culture is to be found at TIFF as well. Every year there is a mass of films that examine the Canadian arts and try to better define the country we all share. This year the focus seems to be on cultures within our culture. Many Canadians film makers are concentrating on their immigrant heritage and how it ties to Canada. Atom Egoyan’s Ararat explores ancient Armenian culture, from a downtown Toronto setting. Canadian filmmaker Deepa Mehta's Bollywood/Hollywood is already receiving praise as a love story blend of Eastern characters and dancing with Western settings. It’s fitting that as the most multi-cultural city in the world, Toronto’s festival will be devoted not only to exploration of foreign culture, but also to an examination of Canadian cultural identities. Societal Since last year’s festival was directly eclipsed by the events of September 11", and we now sit upon the anniversary of those events. It seems inevitable that this year wouid bring us some films touching on the tragedy. As it it, there are actually surprisingly few films that bother to address the topic. Most notable is the film. 11’09’01, which tells the story of a man’s experience on the infamous date. There are also a number of movies dealing with art’s favourite subjects; Drug abuse, sexual repression, distraught childhood, and searches for identity are looked at from new angles every year. While Snake of June looks at the alienation of sexual desire in Japan, Gambling, God’s and LSD explores the effects of drugs from a more realistic standpoint. On a lighter note, Bowling for Columbine by Michael Moore attempts a comedic dissection of the problems of U.S. by comparing it to Canada. Funny? With all the serious artistic integrity and challenging viewpoints that will be flying around downtown theatres over the next week, we shouldn't forget that some movies are actually meant to entertain above all else. Don't let the odds fool you, they’re outnumbered but the com- edies are out there. For instance, many would be surprised to hear that Adam Sandler will be starring in a festival movie. Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch- Drunk Love has Sandler as a love-stricken, hot tempered salesmen, and early comments are positive. Shaolin Soccer, a huge hit from Hong Kong is parody of the classic kung-fu genre, only this time, they’re all playing soccer. The comedies are out there if you look, and this may be your only chance to see some of them. Wednesday, September 11, 2002 Where to go While many people have already booked their tickets, and finding a movie that’s just right for you is a long shot out of 344, it’s not too late to enjoy the film festival. Advance tickets can be purchased at least one day ahead of time from the Festival Box Office at the first level of the Eaton Centre. If the shows haven't been sold out then Same Day tickets can be purchased at the theatre box office. As a last measure you can join a rush line minutes before the show- ings to see if there have been any cancellations. Ticket prices are $14.50 at the door for non-Gala films, which isn’t so bad when you consider what everyday theatres are charging lately. If you’re interested in catching some culture, from any where in the world, of any genre or topic, keep checking your listings to see what is playing when, and check the festival website at www.bell.ca/filmfest for more details. We're lucky to have such a wonderful festival every year. Take advantage of it. Ul SY VA ep © eee] INSURANGE All full-time undergraduates (having paid a SAC fee) are automatically covered pode) A ident and Sickness Insurance Plan and the Student Dental Plan. The Health Plan i is based on a reimbursement system that covers 80% of most curative prescription drugs prescribed by a physician. You may pick up claim forms from any SAC office or download from www.sac.utoronto.ca If you are a returning student, the pay direct cards from previous years are no longer valid. OPTING- OUT You may opt out of either or both of these plans during the September 9th to October 11th opt-out period. Please visit www.sac.utoronto.ca to find out how to opt out on line or go directly to www.rosi.utoronto.ca However, in order to opt out of the Accident & Sickness Insurance plan you must declare that you are already covered under another extended health care plan (not including OHIP or UHIP). Refund cheques will then be mailed to you in the amount $75.60 for the health plan and $107.78 for the dental plan. HEALTH GOVERAGE DENTAL PLAN COVERAGE oie BOS tion d 80% Dental Exam indudes diagnosis, treatment plan and x-ra ie ea a se * 65% Ede ate erp and dsslag treater P a “Optional family coverage 113.40 including tax’ . vy yore mily pone rage ($161, 68 induding tax) * Up to $800 per person per year For more information VISIT THE SAC WEB SITE at wvww.sac.utoronto.ca or visit one of the sac office. St. George 12 Hart House Circle (416) 978-4911 Erindals Scarba Rm 131 Student Centre (905) 828-5494 w7apuaay in Rm R-3006 (416) 287-7615 OPT OUT period BEGINS Sept 9 and ENDS Oct ll http www-uts¢: tdronté‘carSunderdnd/ 44 The Underground Arts and Culture discussion for those interested in management Shelly Crawford On September 12th, from 9:45 a.m. to 11:45 a.m., the Co-op Arts Management programme will be hosting Dirk Schuetz and Dirk Heinze, founders of the global Network for arts managers and cultural administrators as part of its annual About Arts and Culture guest speaker series. The Network founders are on a world tour and want to introduce their idea but also share experiences with industry professionals, lecturers and students. It could be an interesting experience for those pursuing arts management, and perhaps a rare opportunity to have ques- tions answered. The visitors from Germany will present their network and information resources at the University of Toronto, St. George Campus, in the Claude T. Bissel Building, Room 114. It is located one block south of the St. George subway station at the corner of St. George and Sussex. Topics will include a discussion on global networking and employment issues in Canada, Germany, Austria and is limited, so please RSVP to crawford@ utsc.utoronto.ca by September 10th. At 5:30 p.m. on September 12, the Association of Cultural Executives (ACE) will host the Arts Management Network presenters at an O ACE IS - an informal gathering where arts manag- ers can mingle and share information _over cocktails. The featured guest will be John Brotman, the executive direc- tor of the Ontario Arts Council, who will speak about his first year in that office. The event takes place at the Multicultural History Society of Ontario (MHSO) located at 43 Queen’s Park Crescent. All are welcome. Please RSVP to ccmcoop @watarts.uwaterloo.ca 2 If this fields interests you, and you’d like more information on the worldwide network and information resource for arts managers and cultural administrators visit http://www. artsmanagement.net/ index.html Arts Switzerland. All are welcome but space The Association of Part-time Undergraduate Students (APUS) brings you... A Part-time Student Health Plan If you are taking 3.5 courses or less during the Fall/Winter Session you are automatically covered by the APUS Health Plan. ¢ The APUS plan reimburses 80% of the cost of prescription drugs ¢ The plan includes accident insurance ¢ Coverage extends from September 1, 2002 - August 31, 2003 YOU CAN OPT-OUT OF THE PLAN If you are insured under another policy (other than OHIP), you can opt-out of the APUS Plan and receive a refund. Your application for a refund must be received between Monday September 9 and Friday October 11, 2002. The refund can be expected by March 2003. FAMILY & SENIOR CITIZEN COVERAGE IS AVAILABLE Family Coverage (spouse and children) is available for an additional fee. Seniors are not charged an APUS fee, so they are not covered, but can choose to opt-in. Applications for both Family and Senior’s Coverage must be received by Friday, October 11, 2002. APUS also awards Bursaries and Scholarships to part-time students The application deadline for the First Term is: Friday October 11, 2002 at 5pm APUS bursaries are awarded in the Second Term as well, but scholarships are not. Students registered in Y courses are eligible for bursaries in both terms. Pick up Health Plan opt-out forms, opt-in forms, booklets, claim-forms, and also Bursary and Scholarship applications at: e Sidney Smith Hall, 100 St. George Street, Room 1089, (416) 978-3993 ¢« Woodsworth College, 119 St George Street, Room 300, (416) 978-0831 e EPUS, Room 131B North Building, U of T Mississauga, (905) 828-5422 e SCSU, Room R-3042, U of T at Scarborough, (416) 416-287-7047 ° Or, download all forms from the web at: www.apus.utoronto.ca LLL "12 http://www:utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ei wag” Arts - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 Chemicals ter Orton ‘breaks’ through Lee Laborde, Excalibur =ven the best of us has been caught agonizing over heart- Orton says that she would rather have singer/songwriters sing break. it gnaws at you like a million ants on a discarded lollipop, from their own experiences to some degree as opposed to profes- sucking your soul out like the most powerful vacuum cleaner. sional songwriters. Some people lock themselves away until the smell of their “[Professional songwriters] have the objectivity to write how dirty underwear forces them back into the light. Others pick up they see people feeling, but maybe sometimes some of those their guitars and write the. most beautifully aching songs imagin- songwriters are actually void of much feelings themselves,” said able — the kinds of songs that make you wish you were heartbro- Orton. “Those sorts of songwriters scare me to hell and back”. ken just so you can experience that feeling of absolute nakedness Music, done in a good way, acts as a conduit to channel the and vulnerability. most hurtful and most glorious of feelings into a steady stream of “My heart has been broken quite a few times and that’s alright,” consciousness that gives one’s body that jolt of life it never knew Says Beth Orton, singer, songwriter and pioneer of her own unique __it was missing. “psychedelic funk soul”. “It means that I’m alive. It means I’m living “When | hear a piece of music | am moved. It’s palpable. | can and | can feel and | would rather live and feel than be numb and feel it in my body, in myself, in my every sense and there isn’t dead before my time.” much that can do that and touch those places,” she said. Known for her spacey work with the Chemical Brothers, Orton “| see music as much as | hear it. It’s like a soundtrack for life has created a style all her own by combining elements of trip-hop, __ to live by. It feels good to feel bad.” electronic and folk music into a beautiful soundscape that takes If Beth Orton is writing my music then it most certainly does. the listener on a journey through heartbreak and redemption. On her third album, Daybreaker, Orton takes us on a quest for something that is lost or may never have existed. That something is up to the listener to discover and lends an endearing quality to Orton's music, music that belongs to everyone. “[Once it's released] it's not mine anymore really,” said Orton about her music. “It's up to the other people who buy it, and like it, to find their own meaning. And your children, they grow up and they leave home and sometimes you have to let them just go, and songs are like that.” Once enthralled in Orton’s sonic landscapes, one cannot help but feel full of life, even if her music dabbles in the more difficult matters of the heart. “It's making something that can be quite painful into something that’s actually really beautiful and like a lesson or an understand- ing,” said Orton. Daybreaker features standout tracks “Paris Train”, “Concrete Sky” — written by ex-Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr — and the gor- geous and sedative “This One’s Gonna Bruise” written exclusively for Orton by her good friend Ryan Adams. Orton sings as if her heart is her voice box, and every word that soars from her mouth connects with your soul in a way that only your own heart will understand. When asked whether she writes specifically about her own experiences, Orton hesitates. “No, | wouldn’t necessarily. And if | did I'd hide it so well you’d never know,” she laughs. “To be honest, | do. There are parts of me, little chunks of me in there and everywhere”. SULLY by Sachin Hingoo When making Pop Tarts Always toast on low settings The filling leaks out. 8 http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 13 The Underground Music Swinging on the Vines Abum: Highly Evolved Band: The Vines Producer: Justin Stanley Rating: fr We ie te vy Meg Hurley Australian based rock band, The Vines, are the talk of England right now and are slowly burning up the charts across Europe and beyond. The band’s debut album Highly Evolved is a record that is so rugged, exciting and overflow- ing with potential that a new hype has surrounded the genre of rock music. The band’s new and stimulating edge has made a splash in the rock music scene. The Vines’ lyrics are rich with images and the band is able set a tone of depth and soul through its phenomenal lyrics and accompanying acoustic and drums. The soul-stirring guitar and drums played by Patrick Matthews and Dave Olliffe create a signature sound that keeps you on the edge of your seat until the final song of the album. If you are.a rock fan, it’s a must that you pick up a copy of The Vines’ newly released and highly evolved album. The title track is addictive and dis- tinctively interprets the reality of a mod- ernised world. Vocalist Craig Nicholls starts off the album with a voice capable of various dynamics, from screaming to a soft whisper resulting in spectacular effect. Through the first song of the album the band proves that their sound is a sophisticated hybrid of earlier forms of rock. This is a song that makes you hear, not just listen, and feel the rich emotions of the writer. It exhibits similar talent of Nirvana, but the songs are delivered with much more energy and inspiration. Instead of cashing in solely on the first track, which is admittedly a great sound, the band continues to gain momentum with the rest of their album. “Autumn Shade” is a uniquely slower paced song that acts as a relief to the electrifying and exotic tracks. With a combination of soft guitar, soothing vocals and real lyrics “Autumn Shade” is a warm up song that eases you into the rest of the album with- out hitting you over the head right away. The album picks up the pace with “Outtathaway” which is a perfect mix of fast guitar, hammering drums and loud vocal. Although the drums and guitar mix together to produce an interesting sound, the vocal talent is questionable. The song could have been more effective if the lyrics were not entirely screamed. The album continues in the fast lane with their wildly exciting song “Sunshinin’. This is a very fast paced and stimulat- ing song with steam-rolling guitars that makes you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. The highly energized album mellows out a bit with “Homesick”, a song that is a bizarre mix between The Beatles and Nirvana. This is a unique song, to say the least. With only a short rest, the album continues with another untamed song called “Get Free”. Although lyrical sophistication is lacking, the song is a catchy cyclone of melody. The album’s finale is a stoner epic, called “1969” that describes an evidently great high. This song burns you out from the highly shocking roller coaster of an album. The Vines’ debut album is a compi- lation of an assortment of songs. The Vines’ superb eclectic mix of music cre- ates an album that is rarely lagging or monotonous. The band members are still in their twenties so they still have plenty of time to perfect their sound. Highly Evolved is in stores now. nn 14 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/_ | Film —~ Wednesday, September 11, 2002 A child’s adventure for all ages Film: Spirited Away Genre: Animated adventure Starring: Daveigh Chase, Suzanne Pleshette, Lauren Holly Director: Hayao Miyazaki Produer: Studio Ghibli Rating: ewe we wr yy Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Disney has always been known for animated films that, while directed towards children, can be enjoyed by all age groups. Thus, it seems only appropriate that Walt Disney Studios produced and directed the English dubbed version of Spirited Away. But Spirited Away isn't like most chil- dren's stories Disney has presented in the past. Originally released last year in Japan, Spirited Away is the latest creation of Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli (famed for Princess Mononoke, Grave of the Fireflies, Kiki’s Delivery Service). As such it has the style of strong content Japanese ani- mation is known for. The award winning movie is a fairytale aimed equally at all audiences. The story follows the adventure of Chihiro (Daveigh Chase, Lilo and Stitch), a ten year-old girl, moving to a new home with her parents. After making a wrong turn the family happens upon an abandoned temple at the end of a wooded trail. When Chihiro’s reckless parents drag her through the temple’s entrance and into the hidden land that lies beyond it's gates, she finds herself trapped in the spirit wofld. Now little Chihiro must find a way to save her parents and get by in a world of strange and curious spir- its. Caught in the service of Yubaba, a nasty witch who runs a bathhouse for spirits on holidays, Chihiro has to face many off-setting encounters and challenges on her path to finding her way home. - Watching this movie, many people will draw parallels to Alice in Wonderland. Not only does it star a young girl lost and alone in a magical world of bizarre, unique and often intimidating characters, but it shares an atmosphere that is as enchanting at times as it is unnerving. Also like Alice, the threats and encounters of the spirit world are so strange and imaginative that they seem like something dreamed up from the imagina- tion of a ten-year old. Chihiro is lost in a child’s bad dream, where every- thing is alien and larger then herself. Unlike Alice however, Chihiro is a much more interesting heroine. Level-headed and cautious, she is drawn into the spirit world not by her curiosity but by her brash (and almost negligent) parents. Rather then being swept along through the world, Chihiro struggles against her con- flicts as she attempts to get home. Miyazaki presents a strong character the audience can actually root for, and empathise with her loneliness and fear. The colourful world of a child-like mind is beautifully depicted in many of it’s wonders, but with the hard edged style of Japanese animation, it reminds us why we found these kinds of things frightening when we were younger. Chihiro’s growing courage throughout the movie is heartening to see. Another wonderful quality of the film is the growth of Chihiro’s friend- ships. With nearly every conflict Chihiro makes a friend out of the very person she was scared of. As the spirit world becomes more and more familiar, it seems less threatening, but still there remain dangers for Chihiro and her friends to face, and still she keeps her sights set on saving her parents and returning home. What follows is a warming story of friend- ship as Chihiro tries exhaustively to help her friends while still trying to save herself. As should be expected from the veteran studio, Studio Ghibli’s art and animation is excellent, with an effective dramatic style. Some might be disappointed that the film festival and theatre release has been dubbed in English rather then given subtitles. Despite this preference of purists, Disney did an above average job with the dubbing. Usually the Japanese voice acting in anime is better then the dub, but with a cast of talented voices the English acting is effective and little is lost in the transition. Spirited Away will be making it’s premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival this week and will be released in select theatres on September 20. It's rated PG for strong content some children will find frightening, but is still a movie for all ages. The most imaginative movie in years, Spirited Away’s presentation will capture the interest of those who watch it, and it’s touching and innocent story will have a broad appeal. a http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undercind/ Eleventh Annual VICTORIA COLLEGE BOOK SALE Thousands of good used books! All subjects! Amazing prices! Thursday, Sept. 26:5 - 10p:m. ($3.00 admission first night only - students with ID free) Friday, Sept. 27: 10a.m - 8p.m. Saturday, Sept. 28: 11a.m. - 5p.m. Sunday, Sept. 29: 12 noon - 5p.m. Monday, Sept..30: 10a.m. - 8p.m. In ALUMNI HALL AND CHAPEL; OLD VIC 91 Charles Street West at _ Museum Subway Exit For more information call 416-585-4521, ext.3807 or 416-585-4471 Proceeds to Victoria University Library 15 Ustoo! JOmus in the fight acainst . Tha Underground UTSC’s studeitmewspaner is looking fer writers — email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca b) photographers, designers andmore. — or leave us an angry post-it note on our office door at $364 (that’s right, it’s a portable...) — call us at 416-287-7054 WV SONY StyiG.cay imrniGis oe Ss Needs You! SCSP (Scarborough Campus Student Press) is currently looking for new members for it’s Board of Directors. Anyone who is interested should contact the Underground for further details. phone: 416.287.7054 fax: 416.287./055 email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca SCSP is currently looking for people to fill the following _ positions: 2 Full-time Student members 1 Part-time Student member 1 member of the faculty, staff, or alumni of UTSC Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply — Wednesday, September 18, 2002 Diversions by Kelly Lisle Gy , New this Editor — Graphics Editor “ors ecnren Leaving your mark: ch what happens when an anti-graffiti programme fails¢ p.10 Also in this Issue: Editorial p.4 Opinion p. 5 News Reviews Netanyahu defies critics P.6 Music - Dead to Fall p.13 Shinerama Returns to UTSC P.7 Film - Stealing Harvard p.14 Arts Columns Film Fest Recap p.8 Frog in My Throat p.5 Dreaming in High Park Pp. 12 Nocturnal Street Whores.on Rez p.1 7 Weekly Haiku p.17 Feature Diversions p.19 Graffiti on-campus p.10 Cover photo: Chris McKinnon Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ http://Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground Discovering St. George St. George Campus can be a frightening place for a UTSC student. Class sizes are larger, enrolment restrictions are enforced (who knew you really had to have prerequisites?) and the sprawling campus is home to buildings and buildings of rooms; your class could be in any one of them. If you think finding S-309 is tough, try scouring the whole of St. George for VC-214 with only ten minutes between classes. Taking classes downtown requires a certain amount of planning; an amount of planning, as a former resident at UTSC, which this editor is entirely unfamiliar with. Making use of the Campus Map is essential, and taking down the name of the building your class is held in (don't forget the street and room numbers) can mean the difference between getting there early and being thirty minutes late. St. George can throw you a real curve, if you don’t show up prepared. And it’s in the best interests of most UTSC students to explore the downtown campus. If you haven't already discovered it, making the trek to St. George will be increasingly necessary for all of us. With the V. W. Bladen Library all but shut down (keeping it open must be someone's idea of a cruel joke), the resources available at U of T's libraries downtown will become indispensable for diligent students and procrastinators alike. If one plans to spend a few days waiting for one’s research materials to be shipped out here, it almost behooves one to make the long trip downtown oneself, and access those materials immediately. Once on the St. George campus it becomes clear that for all the incidental fees UTSC students send downtown, it really is a shame to not make use of the services provided there. Take a swim at Hart House, drop in for a free movie at Innis College, check out the Art Gallery at University College or otherwise get your money's worth. We're all spending enormous amounts of money to go to school here, so we might as well take advantage of everything this place has to offer. Now’s the time to do it, while UTSC is under construction, while our library is out-cold and the snow’s still a month or so away... The word on the street is that at some point in the future, we might not send so many of our fees downtown. If that’s the case, then it might not be a bad idea to make use of St. George’s services while we've got them, because once we’re through paying they won't be available. Who knows, you might even find something downtown that we haven't got here, some student service you never knew you couldn't live without; like a decent cafeteria or an on-campus pub. Chris McKinnon Editor in chief Liked what you-read?. Want to praise.us? Editorials 9/11 stillatouchy subject erence for the arts Arts Editor Just so everyone knows, this editorial is about September 11,-so if you don’t want to think about it, stop reading. | found it interesting that as | worked on this year’s first issue of The Underground, people would ask me when it was due to come out. When they found out it was September 11, many asked, with a cautious tone, if we were going to “do a big 9/11 thing.” Well, no, we didn't do a big 9/11 thing. People seemed relieved to hear me say that. | guess people are just sick of hearing the media’s homage/opinions on the topic, even if it’s their local student media. After last year’s cult obsession with CNN and the almost perverse voyeurism it lent the tragedy in the weeks and months after it had taken place, | guess people are a little sensitive about hearing it mentioned next to their daily news. But this got me thinking of 9/11 and its relationship with the media and the arts. I'll try to make this brief. There has been a weird line between what is appropriate when dealing with 9/11 and what isn’t. It’s a pretty blurry line. Take the early trailers for the Spiderman movie. They contained a picture of a helicopter, caught in a web, hanging between the Twin Towers. After 9/11, it was yanked from the screen. Since this happened right after the tragedy, it seemed appropriate to remove it. People we're probably too sore to deal with that image right then. But a friend commented to me, “So we're supposed to forget they were ever there?” Other people dealing with the topic have been subjected to harsh criticism. The play Steve Martin put on with other celebrities about the average person’s reaction caught a lot of flack for dealing with the sensitive subject. Meanwhile people seemed to enjoy South Park’s more tenacious reaction of cartoon violence aimed at the Taliban. | guess by this time people were at least ready to laugh. One interesting example is Karen Reno, a comic featured in this year’s film festival who, while other comedians were still silenced, didn’t pause in making her reaction to the tragedy part of her act. Other artists have come together to create a more diverse collection of reactions. Comic book artists of all styles released a collection of shorts that depicted their feelings. More recently the film festival showed 11'09"01, a collec- tion of filmed shorts by various directors. | guess what I'm trying to get at, if anything, is that it seems for some people that the topic of 9/11 passed from too sensitive to deal with to too over exposed to hear about anymore, without stopping in between. | appreciate the works of comic artists and film makers in pooling their talents to share in their reactions. Perhaps a person can still take an honest look at the human reaction to this great tragedy without being cynical or dwelling too long on it. It's history unfurling; don’t be nervous about it. “Some day we'll look back on this, laugh awkwardly and change the subject” - Anonymous ’ onto.ca with “Opinion’ “To kill a human being is, after all, the least injury you can you really, really, really must) do to him.” - Henry James, My Friend Bingham (1867) 4 RO Rl dee Na rs http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ PPPS Rs ITS Ts HCV £2 Sawa OB : ; | “http://www. Opinions Wednesday, September 18, 2002 | Father Knows Best: A Letter to Daddy Mathers Frog In My Throat Merika |. Ramundo Dear Eminem, No, this isn't a love letter from Stan. | bit the proverbial ghetto bullet and bought your newest cd today. | don’t know what possessed me to do it but I did. No, ! take that back, | do know why | did it. | wanted to know what the fuss is all about...plus your newest tunes “Cleaning Out My Closet” and “Without Me” are pretty darn catchy. I’ve heard your hip-hop on the radio, bleeps and all. I've seen the racy music videos and your “flip the bird” demeanor at awards shows. I’ve come across tid-bits here and there about your general shit-disturbing attitude, par- ticularly towards women, homosexuals and a technocrat named Moby. Hell, we all Know about your childhood. You really are one candy that Freud would love to sink his teeth into. And yet, somehow | don’t buy it-any of it. i don’t buy into the pity that we should show you if the family stories you tell are in fact true. | also don’t buy into the American government's attempt at trying to censor your music....you are after all, whether we like it or not, an artist of sorts. Freedom of speech, I'll give you that. Parental responsibility, now that’s one | have to call you on. | can't believe that after everything that you claim to have gone through in your personal life that you would subject your young daughter, Hailie, to a similar fate. Why have her sing “my dad’s gone crazy” on the track of the same name? Why degrade her mother in your songs? Why pull out a gun and puil a random act of violence on your child’s mother? Do you know what you are doing to your child? Dr. Phil, anyone? So, what the hell is going on here? One word: commodity. We have all talked about the shock rock stylings of Marilyn Manson, Howard Stern or Madonna. They were called innovative, avant-garde, provoca- tive, outrageous, deplorable, even scandalous. What are they doing now? Howard, how are your ratings? Material Girl: tell me does your theatre/film work stand up to the rest of the indusiry? Need | say more? I’m sure that you, Eminem, would like to think of yourself as a young Ozzy Osbourne. Your CD surely plays like a reality show based on family drama. PLAYS is the operative word here Marshall. It's not real... what are you hiding? The story of the Osbourne clan has become so successful because we are offered vulgarity and vulnerability simulta- neously....ah, the “v” words, so precious, so fragile. The problem for me is that although you clean out your closet, | still can’t see the whole pic- ture because you choose to leave it ajar. But | guess that’s why you've called your latest CD The Eminem Show. There is a curtain. There is an audience. You either hide behind it or step up to give your motherf*#$ing performance. Art imitating life? Bravo, Mr. Mathers. But tell me this: will your daughter always be left to wait in the green room? Yours truly, Merika |. Ramundo Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief | do not pretend to know much about international politics. | admit that | understand very little about the organisation or function of the United Nations, anything to do with foreign trade or issues of global security. But | do know.a little about rhetoric; | know a few sneaky tricks to make a weak argument seem more persuasive; | know those tricks when | see them and | see them whenever George W. Bush speaks. His rhetoric is broad and sweeping; it paints easy black and white pictures, and that makes it particularly despicable. He speaks in an oversimplified manner: America the Just will triumph over Evil. And his speeches embody romantic notions of defiance and independence. America will take a stand, will do it alone if she has to, will protect all things American: Liberty, Democracy, Justice. When the most powerful man in the world speaks like this, in sweeping ideological forms: | get scared. When he turns to Americans in a time of great tragedy, comforts them with cautious words, and then pledges to overturn Evil Dictators in a bid to rid the world of anything that endangers the American way of life, | get scared. We are citizens of an age of complexity. Nothing is simple any longer; And this is not de facto a bad thing. If life were a simple thing, then living by simple rules would be a safe bet. Given the complexity of our current political climate, I'd prefer to have a correspondingly more complex rule-book. My problem with Bush Jr. lies in his readiness and his willingness to simplify complex issues and then apply solutions based on those simplifications. Evil men destroyed the World Trade Center? Angry men. Deranged, psychotic, fanatic perhaps, but Evil with a capital E? These are not the days of fire and brimstone raining down from above. The last time | checked, the Devil wasn’t at work here on earth; but men were. Men destroyed the World Trade Center: People something like you and |. It might be scarier to think so, but ordinary people can do horrible things to one another, can do terrible things to many, without the help of the capital E- word. No one considers her/himself to be evil. It just doesn’t happen that way. Hitler thought he was doing the world a favour. We obviously don’t share his line of thinking; we often call the Holocaust evil. The Holocaust was an atrocity, committed by a small man with small vision. To call it evil is to give that small arenes ae ae iP ee utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ man too much credit, to make a small man into something more. Terrorists were responsible for the tragedies of September 11", and that is something we must not forget. If we start to use the E-word we might get carried away; in our righ- teous indignation we might perpetrate horrors of our own. The terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers and the ensuing military action should not be reduced to old testament rhetoric of Good and Evil. We should not hide behind such grand narratives. America does. not consist of the “Good guys”, any more than the Arab world consists of the “Bad guys.” The days of Good and Evil simply do not exist any longer, and when we encounter these words applied with such deadly seriousness to matters of politics, we should be wary of the speaker; such simplistic discourse is undue these days, dangerous even, if the masses succumb to its emotionally-charged coding, it’s fear-driven rhetoric. This is not a time for crusading cowboys to save the world, but rather a time for rational deliberation and carefully measured action. And so | have to remain skeptical when Bush espouses heavy-handed mili- tary action to eradicate an ambiguously defined global terrorist threat. | can only imagine how satisfying it must be for anti-American terrorists and fundamental- ists to hear Bush's words confirming their assertions that the United States has a bloody foreign policy, that it is a bullying superpower. No one should be led to believe that a solution to a problem as gross and complex as international terrorism might be so simple as taking military action on any nation that harbours terrorism, or refuses to otherwise join the war on terrorism. Military might alone cannot solve this problem; war as foreign policy is not our only option. There are terrorists in America. Certainly there are some in Canada, Mexico, anywhere really. Suspected terrorists are being appre- hended here through intelligence operations. Military force, however, is being directed at nations in the Middle East, seemingly indiscriminately. So now that George W. Bush would like to make a move on Iraq. We should feel compelled to say: Stop. Wait a minute. Let's look at this rationally. Let's remove the emotionally charged language here, and /et’s look at this rationally. We might find that the argument for a preemptive attack is weaker than we thought. The Underground Netanyahu defies critics at Toronto speech Says terror won't stop in the Middle East until Arafat is gone Published: Thu-12-Sep-2002 lan Ferguson | The Varsity TORONTO (CUP) -- It was the speech Benjamin Netanyahu couldn't give at Concordia University. In front of a sellout crowd of 2,000, the former Prime Minister of Israel defended his country’s war against the Palestinian Authority. “We have to uproot the terror regimes and plant the seeds of freedom,” Netanyahu said. Outside the Toronto Centre for the Performing Arts, a noisy crowd of pro-Palestinian protestors waved flags and chanted slogans, stared down by a smaller crowd of pro-lsraeli activists. Many of the protestors were from University of Toronto groups opposed to the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza, administered under the Palestinian Authority led by Yasser Arafat. Netanyahu was scheduled to make a speech at Concordia University in Montreal last Monday, but violent protests forced the cancellation of the event. Netanyahu was introduced by Izzy Asper, executive chairman of Canwest Global Communications, the media conglomerate which owns the National Post and Global Television Network. In his remarks, Asper compared the Concordia protestors to the brownshirts, a group of Nazi thugs that accompanied Hitler’s rise to power in 1930s Germany. “Yesterday in Montreal you saw the face of hatred,” Asper said. He blamed “left-wing academics and the media’ for distorting the Palestine conflict, saying “in the campuses of Canada and the United States they were fomenting hatred.” Asper received a standing ovation for his remarks. After taking the stage, Netanyahu joked that he expected more demonstrators at the North York event. “| was terribly disappointed to hear that only 250 protestors are here — what happened?” He said the “violent riot” at Concordia was not because of his ideas, because he “didn’t even speak there.” Instead, he said the protestors were angry at “Israel just existing.” Restless students wait in line to get into our bookstore. Coffee and Timbits anyone? October 8-9: Voting Period Notice of Fall Elections The Scarborough Campus Students’ Unian will be holding their annual fall elections and by-elections during the following dates: September 17-24: Nomination Period September 26-October 7: Campaign Period For more information or to pick up a nomination package, please contact SCSU in the BladenBuilding at UTSC in room B-330, or at 416-287-7047 Get Elected, Get Involved “What you saw in Montreal was a microcosm, a window into hatred,” he added. In his remarks, Netanyahu defined terrorism as the deliberate targeting of civilians in warfare to achieve political goals. He used the analogy of Japanese Kamikaze attacks against U.S. battleships during the Second World War to explain his government's strategy for dealing with Palestinian terror attacks. Sinking the aircraft carriers that launched the Kamikaze planes was the only way to stop the attacks. So defeating Palestinian terror means targeting the Palestinian Authority, Netanyahu said. “Arafat and all his cronies, they'll have to go down.” Netanyahu compared the history of Israel to the Palestinian struggle for independence. He denied that Jewish underground groups such as Irgun ever engaged in terrorist attacks — a common criticism of Palestinian supporters. “| suppose you can make that argument to people whose historical under- standing extends as far as breakfast,” Netanyahu said, to enthusiastic applause from the crowd. Instead, Netanyahu said that the Palestinians and their allies among Arab nations had turned to political struggle only after their combined armies were defeated by Israel in the 1967 Six Day War. He said that calling Isrealis the “real terrorists” is a “reversal of causality.” Still Waiting In Line? Underground Staff Students have had to wait longer than usual to get into the Bookstore this year (might still be waiting even as this issue goes to press.) Mind you, at least they get to wait in a location that is more central. Now I’m sure we all love the new indoor location of our Bookstore (it used to be housed in The Underground’s snazzy portable), but the line-ups! Good God the line-ups! Blame it on the smaller space. Blame it on ourselves for not ordering our books online in August. Blame it on the fascists (they’re always fun to blame.) Blame it on the construction going on everywhere, or the fact that most people seem to be in class at the same time. Blame it on whatever the fuck you want, and you'll still be waiting in line. Get used to it. You're looking at the same thing again next year, with even larger enrolment and even less space. Of course, next year you might be able to enjoy a fine cup of Tim Horton's coffee as you stand in line (all the way through the Hall of Excellence to the H-wing Café.) That is, if Tim Horton’s ever really opens. Underground remain skeptical. We at The nsos~ /€9°OVWOIOIN' SSID MMM http TAMPhRAits Nato Reda Senderemie ei) Campus ‘ Underground Staff Shinerama returned to UTSC for its second year, as students and residents raised money to help fund research to find a cure for cystic fibrosis. On September 3rd, over 130 UTSC students took part in this year’s Bay Street Shine-off, in the heart of Toronto’s Financial District. The stu- dents managed to raise $2400 in just three hours, and had a great time doing it. On September 12th, approximately $400 dollars more was raised as students donated their coinage to a “Loonie Mile,” bringing this year’s total to $2800 so far. Shinerama was created in 1961, by first-year students at Waterloo Lutheran University, now Wilfrid Laurier University, as a way to add a charitable activity to their Orientation. The project has grown to become the largest university and college fundraising campaign, and to this date over $13 million has been raised to fight cystic fibrosis (CF), a hereditary disease that seriously compromises breathing and digestion in those who are affected. Cystic fibrosis continues to be a fatal disease, but with treat- ment many people with CF now live into their thirties. (For more details on Cystic Fibrosis, see side panel.) The AIDS Walk Returns Underground Staff The_14th annual AIDS Walk Toronto will take place on Sunday, September 22, 2002. It is the largest AIDS Walk in Canada and the funds raised go to support the AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT) and its partner agencies. Since its inception the Walk has raised over $7 million through the partricipation of over 70 000 volunteers and walkers. Along the route, walkers can expect to encounter a myriad of buskers, entertainers and other street performers that help to make the day a festive one. The popular 6.5km walk through Toronto’s downtown-core culminates at Nathan Phillips Square where walkers can enjoy a free concert and partake in food and drink at the beer gardens on-site. On- hand will be plenty of local musicians, as well as a Community Fair where walkers and passers-by can visit booths showcas- ing AIDS service organisations in Toronto. New to the AIDS Walk this year is an event titled The Drag Races. This new event promises to be a wildly entertaining time, where at the completion of the Walk, teams of Drag Kings and Queens will descend on the Square to compete in obstacle courses, three-heeled races and makeover chal- lenges all in hopes of being crowned King or Queen of the day. The First Annual Drag Races will be hosted by prominent drag personalities Mad Madelaine, Zelda Angelfire and Enza “Supermodel” Anderson. For more information on AIDS Walk Toronto, visit their website at www.aidswalktoronto.org or telephone the hotline at 416-340-WALK. A team of walkers from U of T is currently being assembled. To walk with U of T, please contact Daven Seebarren at 416-568-6572. . raise $2800 for Wednesday, September 18, 2002 Meeting Place to raise money and awareness for cystic fibrosis. Festival recap The Underground _— —— — — ———————— ———— — — — _ :"00€—C€@&C A Film Keith Friedlander Arts Editor My week at the film festival has wrapped up and I'm left to reflect on my experience. Every year at the festival one has to gamble on what movies to see. Picking from the wide variety is always hard and sometimes a person can't really be sure if they'll really like what they picked. But with only a small idea of what each movie is going to be like, putting together a schedule of a variety of movies and daring to take a chance is all part of the fun. Here is a collection of reviews of some of the movies | saw over the last week. You can see that a person can choose movies that match their taste. This year | attended a mix of American comedies and various Japanese and Chinese films,- since those are the areas that interest me. It's all up to the indi- vidual. With hundreds of movies to choose from, a person can really pursue their own interests when attending the festival. And while every so often a gamble may come up flat, the majority of films are always high quality, afid real movie fans will always find something they like in the mix. It’ll be another year before it returns with another huge line up of films previewing the next few months of the movie scene and bringing the international world of arts to Toronto. If you missed it this year and are interested in attending next year (or perhaps getting involved as a volunteer), go to the festival's website at www. bell.ca/filmfest and find out how and when you can get your hands on the guide for next year’s films. TRONTE FN . Arts ‘International. Big Shot’s Funeral Country: China In this comedy Donald Sutherland plays a famous director who's lost his vision for film. While making a movie in China about the Qing Dynasty, Don Tyler deeides that his work has never reached the level he aimed for and hires a local cameraman named Yoyo to follow him around and tape him as he ponders his problem. When the director is pulled off the movie project his depression and failing health leave him in a coma. His last wish: that Yoyo direct his funeral as a comedy feature. The funeral quickly become a marketing engine and when Tyler recovers from his coma the project is too big to stop. Big Shot's Funeral is funny on dif- ferent levels. Sutherland’s performance as the slightly eccentric but lovable Tyler makes the situational comedy of his death a running joke throughout the movie. Meanwhile the Chinese perform- ers add a frantic physical humour as their plans and partnerships become more and more sordid and out of control. Both areas of the film are well executed and while they contrast one another, the two types of comedy blend well, and the end result is a charming light hearted film, filled with a morbid humour aimed at the commercialism of filming. Aiki Country: Japan When a young man loses the use of his legs in a motorcycle accident, his dreams of boxing fall apart. As the depression becomes more then he can deal with, Taichi quickly pushes all his loved one’s away from him and falls into a harsh and self-destructive cycle. Lashing out at the world, he becomes consumed with self-pity and falls into alcoholism. Aiki is the story of his long struggle to bring meaning back into his life and find a reason to live. While his friends and family are the true reasons, it isn’t until he takes up Aikido that he gains the perspective to see. Despite the serious nature of the plot, Aiki isn’t as grim as it sounds. It maintains an amazing mix of humour and drama to reveal itself as a very well rounded story. It makes the transition between light-hearted to emotional, ” goofy to serious, so fluidly that the viewer is easily caught up. Entertaining and dramatic, Aiki’s sappy moments are so strongly contrasted by the depths of it’s depressing moments, that neither seems out of place or too over the top. Based on true events, Aiki is an honestly heart- ening story, and proved to be one of my favorite festival films. The Sweatbox Country: United Kingdom This movie is actually a documen- tary of the making of a Disney film, The Emperor’s New Groove, which went quite terribly wrong. Originally storyboarded and written as a completely different story which was to be called Kingdom of the Sun, Disney officials totally rejected and ordered a revamp of the flick years into it's production. The Sweatbox fol- lows the work of it’s creators, giving an understanding of what goes into the making of a Disney film, and what anxiet- ies it puts on the creators. This documentary was actually one of the funnier movies | saw at the film fest. The interviews with the stressed out creators (one of which was the musician Sting, who was brought into the project early and had his original six songs scrapped when the entire premise of the movie changed) shows the smiling faces of people under an absurd amount of pressure. When put on camera and asked to comment on the butchering of their two year project, the hectic reac- tion of the stressed out film-makers is as. entertaining as any well written script. http'/Awww.uts¢.utoronto.ca/undergnd/ Arts” Welcome To Collinwood Country: USA A soon-to-be released comedy heist movie based in a poor area of inner-city Cleveland, Welcome To Collinwood is a hilarious slapstick piece inspired by the old classics of the genre. When a local petty thief is caught for grand theft auto his elderly cell mate tells him a secret: info on a heist so simple no one could screw it up, a ‘Bellini’ as the locals call it. When his plan leaks out all over town a small group of the neighbourhood repro- bates set out to win the score. But com- plications arise, as they always do, and what results is a bungling so bad, you can only feel sorry for the poor bastards as you laugh at them. With an excellent cast including Luis Guzman, Isaiah Washington, William H. Macy and George Clooney, Welcome To Collinwood puts together the sad- dest group of bungling criminals seen in recent history. It’s dirty depiction of the poor inner-city gives the movie the perfect colourful backdrop to play against and a mix of strong directing and select music bring the antics together in a well produced package. While it's nothing groundbreaking, Welcome To Collinwood is a physical comedy that’s a refreshing look back at the roots of physi- cal comedy. A Snake of June Country: Japan One of the things people often notice about some of the movies and arts that come from Japan is that the degree of their content can be quite strong. Especially when dealing with sexuality, we see that the general repression of such topics in the culture results in a very perverse level of detail when it is portrayed. A Snake of June is a movie that deals directly with that topic; it is the story of a married couple, too reserved to express their own séxual desires to one another, terrorized by a sexual pervert who becomes obsessed with seeing the wife come to an honest understanding of her desires. The shock value of A Snake of June was perhaps stronger then it needed to be. Most audiences would be too uncomfortable with certain scenes to give the story the attention it deserves. In the end, if one can get past the heavy sexual perversity of the film, it’s a fasci- nating story of how unhealthy the repres- sion of normal emotions and desires can hitp:wawutsc.uteronto.ca/rundergnd). ~ Vhs ck ke ee Ue td&. be, and how out of control a person can become when that restraint boils over. The Emperor’s Club Country: USA In this coming of age story Kevin Kline plays a professor of classical studies at a prestigious school for boys. His charac- ter, William Hundert, is an old world mor- alist focused on teaching the values of respect and tradition to the generation of future world leaders. When a rich upstart named Sedgewick Bell (Emile Hirsch) is enrolled Hundert finds himself drawn into conflict with his own morals. As he tries to show Sedgewick the worth of a moral life, how many allowances will he make for the young upstart? While some may find the topic of The Emperor’s Club rather weak, the clash of ideologies between the old and the young is still interesting. Kevin Kline’s character may seem hopelessly dated throughout most of the movie, but the ending puts a fresh face on his perspective. When he again meets Sedgewick as an adult, the question of how much of a difference he really made to the boy is revealed in all it’s importance. Excellently written, The Emperor’s Club is a tame story that, in the end, reveals itself to be as relevant as any other. Shaolin Soccer Country: Hong Kong, China This is the story of a young man’s quest to bring kung-fu to the modern world by gathering his former brothers- in-training and together, dominating the soccer world. Shaolin Soccer is upbeat and funny, not just in poking fun at the classic kung-fu genre, but also in having it's fun with western pop culture. One has to be in the mood for some off-the- wall silliness, but Shaolin Soccer delivers a good laugh even if you aren't crazy about slapstick. Most of the appeal of Shaolin Soccer is in it's spoof of kung-fu classic tradi- tions against the ridiculous backdrop of the soccer league. The fireball soccer kicks, the earth shattering saves and acrobatic feats are visually impressive and absurdly funny. This is slapstick with a big budget. More cynical and wry humour can also be found in the way the plot and character development makes fun of itself. For the most part though the comedy is anything but subtle, and at heart Shaolin Soccer will be funny for any fan of the kung-fu genre. _ oo Big Shot's Funera Siete plete 3 EBLE T % OOOO 00 AS = i=‘) = 5 -) eS aR == ee a car Emperor's Club, |_| LS lin So ae | Wednesday, September 18, 2002 ee sl |e pees ae | | eh ie aie). eT) as) oe The Underground oe Chris McKinnon Editor in chief Hate is alive and well at UTSC, boys and girls. You might have had a sneaking suspicion... You might have wondered of late if there aren't a few tick- ing time-bombs hustling through the halls alongside us between classes. Take a walk through the S-wing or the H-wing, and have a good look at the study cubicles. You don't have to look hard, the graffiti is obvious, even at a distance. A lot of it is harmless fluff: So-and-so loves her. So-and-so loves him. Every now and again the vulgarity steps up a notch and you get something more crude, like “All brown girls must give me head.” We could pass it by, let it go unchecked, but what does it mean to tolerate the existence of these words? What does it mean when we accept them as a fact of life? Is this really something that just happens; is the clean-up of graf- fiti an exercise in futility? | say, futile or not, we should not tolerate this graf- fiti. As a matter of principle, we should engage it. Homophobia, misogyny and ethnic slurs decorate our school. How does that make you feel? Ethnic slurs abound. Cubicles the school over are overlaid with deroga- tory remarks about Italians, Pakistanis, Greeks, Afghanis, Palestinians, Jews and the list goes on. It seems quite frankly that tolerance is a lesson wasted on UTSC. If you walk from the Leigha Leah Brown Theatre (at the far end of the S- Wing) towards the UTSC Police station, your eye might be caught by a particularly conspicuous piece of graffiti. It boldly stands out from others, written as it is in thick strokes of black magic marker. It is plainly visible from across the hall, down the hall, at a distance. It reads: “Fags give the best head Fags”. The fact that this message is scrawled in large, thick letters, in marker no less, suggests premeditation. This wasn’t some homo- repressed Phys. Sci. student, lashing out in homophobic angst with the pen he was using for his Calc homework. No. The man that did this thought about it, brought a marker, and he wanted others to see this. It was not a comment to be shared with a small group of like-minded souls, but rather a statement of hostil- ity against the queer community. That particular defacement has been on that same desk for weeks, since before classes started. Who knows how long it will sit there, broadcasting its message of homophobia to anyone and everyone that walks through that hallway. In a cubicle nearby, in similar mark and style, is another homophobic line: ; ISteGAYs The personal nature makes it harassment, and | would encourage the young man whose name appears there to file a report with the UTSC Police. The block-lettering has since been scratched out, in a vain attempt to obscure the subject’s name. It can be made out nonetheless, and we should regard this as a heartbreaking disappointment to the UTSC commu- nity. Not only has last year’s Positive Space campaign failed (need | mention the pointed removal of PS signs and banners from all over the school,) it has failed quite miserably. Queer students at UTSC cannot feel safe here, perhaps even should not. When our community tolerates such hostile graffiti, messages that attack the integrity of a gay man’s sense of self, it implicitly endorses it. When the issue remains unaddressed, we are implicated. We too are guilty of the crimes of marker-wielding thugs. At UTSC, misogynous graffiti is more prolific than homophobic graffiti, though the latter is arguably more prominent. A brief inspection of the H-wing study cubicles will find a large drawing of a nude woman, using a knot in the wood of the desk as female genitalia. As | photographed it for this article, a couple of young women in the cubicles nearby remarked: “Isn't that nasty? Hey, look at this! Oh, gross!” Laughing like chil- dren who've stumbled across some- thing naughty, they hardly noticed the objectification involved in the drawing. The most prominent aspect of this piece was the female genitalia, followed by the breasts. The image is surrounded by remarks, apparently added by persons other than the original artist, that rein- force the derogatory tone and coding of the image. This is no fertility goddess. This is woman as a sexual object, made and to be had for the pleasure of man. And while my first instinct is to say that women should be offended (everyone should be offended!), given the response of those two women to the subject, | must ask why they were not offended. Why aren't you offended? Why aren’t we offended? The UTSC Police have an anti-graffiti programme, designed to respond to this problem. We have campus media (the paper you're reading right now, for instance,) forums (thanks to numerous clubs on campus) and services (minus a proper resource centre for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered students) to discuss this problem, to open it to debate and begin a discourse on the problems we expe- rience with diversity (cultural, ethnic, sexual or otherwise) on this campus. Open your eyes boys and girls, we’re a long way from harmony. eee http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ . Feature Wednesday, September 18, 2002 ONE SCY, “OEPLEMDET IG CUE Do you think that graffiti is a problem at UTSC? CY ea an Baya) dl ted Oe EA A Sai AN Ce AS aah aN cate ee a eel’ “Yes, in the tudy cubicles pereree In the library corn “especially, and the H-wing. If we clean it up, it will just happen £ ) again.” Natne: Ashley ant “No. Not that I've noticed.” ae Ming Wang Getting through school can be hard. Getting there shouldn’t be. That’s why we offer discounted fares with a_ valid GO Transit student ID. And as if that weren’t enough, starting September 3rd, our Hamilton-Pickering Highway 407 Express GO Bus service will be improved. And along the way you can transfer to other GO services including the newly expanded Oakville-Markham Highway 407 Express GO Bus service. For details check our website, or just give us a call. td _ “The walls are all very clean. | don't see a lot of people defacing the walls.” - Name: Traavis Ashburner _Year: 2 SERVING U OF T AT SCARBOROUGH MCMASTER CAR POOL LOT SQUARE ONE YORK CENTENNIAL COLLEGE PICKERING UNIVERSITY BRONTE RD. @ 407 MISSISSAUGA UNIVERSITY PROGRESS CAMPUS TOWN CENTRE HAMILTON CAR POOL LOT CAR POOL LOT BRAMALEA SCARBOROUGH UoFTaT PICKERING _ GO CENTRE DUNDAS@ 407 —- TRAFALGAR RD. @ 407 GO STATION TOWN CENTRE SCARBOROUGH GO STATION “So far I've only seen a little bit. Just little covenings.. Nothing big has caught my eye.” ASE ise tit j | \ | | V f | bn ra ca ence meena eeepc eee eee #16869 3200 2686 GET ON GO” www.gotrausit.com TTY tefetypewsiters only: 4 800 987 3862 n http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : 11 T he Underground x ‘Art i r Dreaming in High Park— Julianne Baragar For the past twenty years, CanStage has been produc- ing some of the most magical outdoor theatre in our city. In an amphitheatre deep in the woods at High Park, the com- pany gathers each summer to stage, more often than not, a play from Shakespeare's repertoire. This annual tradition has come to be known as the Dream in High Park, appropri- ately named after the first show they staged there in 1982: Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night's Dream. As a celebration of two decades of outdoor summer theatre, CanStage chose to remount the play that started it all. This year’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which closed on September ‘st, broke attendance records and Pay-What-You-Can donation records (for more infor- mation about PWYC, see text box). Directed by Richard Greenblatt, A Midsummer Night’s Dream was a bold yet accessible adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s most pro- duced comedies. Set in the woods outside Athens, A Midsummer Night’s Dream plays in three different worlds: those of the Athenian nobility, the fairy monarchy, and the rustic workmen who gather to present a play at the Duke’s wedding. While the design and execution of the play as a whole was imagina- tive and captivating, the scenes involving the fairies were disappointingly bland. Maggie Huculak, playing Titania, the fairy queen, appeared uncomfortable and inelegant in her spandex and sequin costume. Walter Borden as Oberon, Titania’s jealous husband, was tame and tedious despite his gilded get-up and booming voice. The young fairy devotees, endearing school children, played like cardboard, and Oberon’s minions were neither magical nor frightening. Mysterious and enchanting on the page, Shakespeare’s fair- ies were doomed in this production. The human lovers shone, however, and their adventures in the woods were staged with comic and physical preci- sion. Greenblatt's direction of these young actors was fresh, with modern gestures and references, and multi-lingual exchanges. The evening concluded with a presentation of the rustic workers’ hilarious play, wherein Robert Persichini shone as the egotistical Bottom. The most impressive element of this production, how- ever, was the inventive soundscape designed by Rick Sacks. A percussionist known in the theatre for past collaborations with Greenblatt, Sacks created a dynamic aural environment by turning found objects into musical instruments, and turn- ing the cast into a twenty-five piece orchestra. His sound design accented the physicality of the performance, and was the only inspiring element of the fairy sequences. The Dream in High Park was an enchanting experience. The wooded walk to the amphitheatre, the slow sunset, and the starlit performance created:a magical atmosphere for a tale of romance and the supernatural. Though not a thoroughly dazzling piece of theatre, A Midsummer Night’s Dream was a beautiful way to pass a late summer’s eve that captivated the diverse audience that gathered in High Park. Help Wante Interested in working at a music store? Deja Vu Discs buys and sells used CDs and DVDs. We are looking for part-time staff for our Scarborough store. Applicants must be customer service oriented and must possess a broad knowledge of music. We are holding an open interview session on Saturday September 21th from 11am to 3pm. Please bring your resume with you. Location: Deja Vu Discs - Kennedy & 401 (Kennedy Commons) (416) 332-1722 Wanna be a columnist? : Music Falling Through the Blast-beats Andrew C. Epstein Album Name: Everything | Touch Falls to Pieces Band Name: Dead To Fall Record Label: Victory Records Rating: Wie Wir vy Before | even start | want to quote a passage from Dead To Fall's bio that accompanied this record. “Dead To Fall plays with ferociousness that will undoubtedly give the metal world the jolt it so desperately needs”. At this point, the record is already doomed as far as press is concerned. If your touting your band as the wake-up call for an entire genre, and you're not totally original, then you have problems. Naturally Dead To Fall’s debut record Everything | Touch Falls To Pieces, doesn’t revolutionize heavy music, however it’s actually pretty damn good, in the tradition of some great death metal bands, including Cannibal Corpse, Entombed, Carcass, and Obituary. Hailing from Chicago this five piece, led by singer Jonathan Hunt, treads over familiar material but slices in elements of hardcore and even a bit of a nu- metal influence. There are the familiar short riffs and blast beat drumming, but the band takes the time to veer off into more technically impressive tunes and progressions: From the opening track “Memory” they establish themselves with a deep heavy groove and rather long opening before Hunt takes over with his Chris Barnes meets Max Cavalera grow's. “The Eternal Gates of Hell” follows and is probably the best song on the record with its short brutality and intensity. For much of the record the band roots itself in the deep groove that opens the record. It’s not until the track “Graven Image” where the band moves into completely new territory by adding power metal solos and more effects. However where the music exceeds, Hunt's lyrics fall a little short. Ok now | admit that in most cases, death metal lyricism isn’t that important. Only a few bands really have written anything relevant enough for you to follow along with in the liner notes. In this case Hunt borrows a page from the book of Deicide’s Glen Benton and goes for the blasphemous route rather than the gore-filled one pioneered by Chris Barnes. However Hunt really doesn’t run with it and the remainder of the record turns into something based more around personal vengeance than anything else, and sometimes it comes off a little whiny. Take for instance this excerpt from “Words Ignored”: “I have really grown to hate you, and everything you stand for / | write these words in vain, you won't read them.” However | suppose that it doesn’t matter too much as Hunt mostly makes up for it in his delivery. As a whole, Dead To Fall maintains a great metal tradition but probably won't make any dents in the metal scene, no matter how much their label says they will. Like many before them this group has created a sound that is directly remi- niscent of their heroes, but now,with a debut in the bag, it will be time for them to either put up or shut up. If they deliver another record that sounds like this one, no one will really find a connection with them. However there is some evidence that the band will do the exact opposite. Close to the end of the record appears an instrumental track entitled “Doraematu” (apparently performed by their departed guitarist), and it shows a definite versatility and open-mindedness not seen too much in a contemporary metal release. If this is a sign of things to come, then we are in store for a much more originai release from Dead To Fall in the future. If not then at least they made one record with the dignity and precision of a great sound that isn’t used too much today. But if you ask me, the bands that came before are much, much more impressive. Wednesday, September 18, 2002 ) http'//Wwww.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ . 13. The Underground Film HEG UNGEIQTOUNG, ee a ee a Film: Stealing Harvard Genre: Comedy Starring: Jason Lee, Tom Green, and John C. McGinley Director: Bruce McCulloch Producer: Revolution Studios and Imagine Entertainment Rating: fe We Wty Christian Lucier The first thing | have to say about Stealing Harvard is that it lacks. It lacks witty jokes, character interaction, and a well played out storyline. It is not that Stealing Harvard is a horrible film; it is just that there are many holes in it that are obvious to the viewer. This same defect appears in other Bruce McCulloch films, such as Dog Park. The formula and causes of these holes are similar: Take a ‘B’ grade story, add a mediocre cast, and mix with a director of weak abilities. There are still a few notewor- thy scenes in the film, especially when Tom Green (Duff) and John C. McGinley (Detective Charles) play off each other’s enthusiasm and creativity. The plot in Stealing Harvard is about as engaging as a child’s storybook. “Regular Joe” John (Jason Lee) is in a tight spot. John promises his niece ° (Tammy Blanchard) that he will pay for her university when the time comes. The time comes, and John is hit with a thirty thousand dollar tab. Due to a restrict- ing budget, John now has to resort to other methods in order to get the thirty grand. This is where Tom Green comes in. Green plays John’s extremely bizarre friend Duff, and the two, as a result of one of Duff's grand ideas, embark on a life of crime in order to flip the bill. Through this new occupation John and Duff encoun- ter numerous follies and mishaps. The highest point of humor in the movie is the result of John and Duff's toques. They look like absolute morons when they go eeping Harvard into “burglar mode”. Let's just say Duff leaves his eighties bridge framed specs on even when the toque goes down. It is safe to say there are no award winning performances in_ this flick. Jason Lee was certainly not up to par. Compared to his other performances in such films as Mumford, Almost Famous, and Mall Rats, Lee comes off as being incredibly bored with the role. It’s either this or Lee doesn’t have the goods to be a leading man. Tom Green, on the other hand, makes strides as Duff. Thankfully, Green tones down his Kaufman-esque humour and focuses on developing a solid character. Once Duff is introduced, the movie gets a hell of a lot better. The performance of John C. McGinley is also quite good. McGinley brings his unique energy and breathes new life into the movie with the stubborn Detective Charles. As for all the other actors, well, they were there too. Stealing Harvard is an alright movie. It is not particularly good, but at the same time is doesn’t suck. The laughs are there, however they are few and far apart. The best way to describe this movie is by saying that it is like a pretzel without the salt. | wouldn’t recommend rushing to the theatre to catch this movie. It is rental material for sure. Tom Green basically steals the show, however not even his presence is enough to keep this boat afloat. Bottom line: Sleeping Harvard. —_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—_—— SN 14 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ee RRR ee eae ee \RSAAR YE HAG OH DH! The Underground Life UTSC Police Introduce a Guide To UTSC Police Services And Community Partnership Programs Cpl. Chris Moy UTSC Police numbers are provided. UTSC Police also operate a Lost and Found Service. An outline of the WalkSafer and RideSafer = yw. Services, the UTSC Traffic Safety Program, Loné Worker Program, Anti-Graffiti Program, the Bike 66 Patrol Unit is also included. oo Specific information is available for UTSC students living in residence. This includes the Village Watch Program, and residence safety and security matters. Student volunteers annually participate in the UTSC Student Crime Stoppers Committee. Campus incidents are discussed and solutions to curb ongoing problems are sought. Selected crimes are advertised through campus media with the hope that witnesses will step forward or anonymously report information to the Student Crime Stoppers hotline at 416-222-TIPS(8477). A reward is offered for information which leads to a successful conclusion to any investigation. These volunteers also assist the UTSC Police in crime prevention programs directed at addressing any current issues. As a courtesy to the community, UTSC Police also provide, free of charge, “Call Police” signs for roadside safety and battery booster packs to get you car back on the road. The University of Toronto Police at Scarborough have introduced a handbook outlining the services that they provide to the community as well as the partnership programs that operate with the assis- tance of community volunteers. The UTSC Police Services delivery model is based on a community policing philosophy which encourages the interactive partnership between the police and members of the community to facilitate a team approach to safety and security. As community members you can play your part by locking your vehicle, bicycle and residence, office or lab when you leave to prevent unauthorized access to your property, and by not leaving your personal property, such as laptops, wallets, purses and RackPaeke unattended . The purpose of this handbook is to create aware- ness within the community by providing information on the UTSC Police Service, the UTSC Community itself, and safety and security information on many topics that affect staff, students, faculty and visitors to the University of Toronto. We provide Emergency contact numbers and both University and area refer- rals. It outlines growth and the related construction projects at UTSC and the inherent safety issues. Tips on protecting your property, what to do if your property is taken, card cancellation and replacement in the Meeting place to raise funds and show support for children with cancer. This yearly event proves entertaining to stu- dents and staff alike. Guidelines on “When to contact UTSC Police and 911 are outlined”. Issues related to driving and parking regulations, as well as the use of alcohol on campus, are explained. Information sheets on Date Rape Drugs, Criminal Harassment, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Assault, Drinking and Driving, and “What to do if you are involved in an Accident” are included in the handbook. The contents of the “Guide to UTSC Police Services and Partnership Programs” are based on the UTSC Police website at www.utsc.utoronto.ca/police/. Many of the articles can be printed from this location. The handbook itself is available at the UTSC Police office at the main entrance of the Sciences Wing. UTSC Police can be contacted at 416-287-7398 for general enquiries and 416-287-7333 for emergencies. MORE MAYBE HELPEUL NEWS From é avillion and the BV prefix on timetables means a B-Wing room. a bike. It is currently on display in the R-Wing cafeteria where entry forms are available. The draw will be held on September 30" 2002. The prize will be presented to the winner on eal Plans-one way to stretch the food service dollar October 1*, 2002. ou may have noticed some posters and brochures at various places on campus advertising eal plan options from Food Services. If you didn’t read through the material here are ome of the highlights: Tim Horton’s Update. ‘No further information is available. We know the contractors are on site doing work. * Meal plans at UTSC are completely optional. = Meal plans are not limited to residence students. ‘It’s obvious that this year is going to challenge our patience and imagine. Serving larger # The meal plans work on a declining balance system. You purchase a meal plan numbers of people in limited facilities requires everyone’s cooperation. from Aramark campus services for a pre-determined value (the minimum is = Again, we ask you to avoid using the cafeterias for study space during peak Thinking of Others $50.) and you are issued a card. When buying food at any of the campus outlets operated by Aramark you present the card to the cashier. The card is scanned, recording the transaction and deducting the cost of the purchase from your balance. You receive a receipt giving you the details. The convenience and security of being able to make purchases without cash is one advantage but the biggest benefit is that if you use the meal plan frequently enough to meet some minimum standards under the tax laws, you may be exempt from paying federal and provincial sales taxes on your purchases (15%) in most cases. service times--1lam-3pm and 4pm-7pm.. By the time you are reading this, additional study space will be set up in the Attic. The room will be open for study use from Monday to Friday between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.. Again, we ask that you do not move around the tables and chairs-the furniture is placed for maximum seating. More importantly, when furniture gets moved it may often block access for the UTSC members who rely on wheelchairs, scooters and other devices for mobility. Again, please clean up after yourself and use the proper receptacles for garbage and recyclables. s The Aramark Food services Director can give you a detailed explanation of qualification for tax exemptions and the other incentives that Aramark offer on meal plans. = You can buy into a meal plan any time during the year. * If you start with a small meal plan and find it useful, you can add more money whenever you want. Weekly Meeting with the Aramark Food Services Director ‘The weekly meetings are held in the H-Wing cafeteria on Thursdays between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. ‘Next week the notes from first meeting will be posted outside the main entrance to the H- ‘Wing cafeteria and published in the September 25" issue of The Underground. Anytime questions come up, contact me at the e-mail below. I may not have the answer you ‘want but at least I’ll have an answer. ita Pit hanks to all who dropped by the R-Wing cafeteria to try out the newest franchise. Even e people from the Pita Pit head office were overwhelmed with the response and not xpect the demand to be so great. Fortunately, they were able to get more additional product into the campus. ‘Manager, Food and Beverage Services UTSC pjhsmith@utsc.utoronto.ca VO OS Per Nee Dis a gee DDD NOE De Lhasa Ws 73 ELE PEE id/ Life | Nocturnal Street Whores On Rez Julie “The Mistress” Harper & Sophie “Summerfuck” Nicholson “| wanna fuck you like 13!” and the Fossil and Haggis was alive once again for their first karaoke night of the school year. Hundreds, well not exactly hundreds - Many people flocked to the Fossil to enjoy a night of debauchery. Birthdays were celebrated, hearts were broken, and some went home wiht people they barely knew. All in all, it was a great night. On any given night at the ‘Fossil’ you’re bound to find the same old characters: The raging hussies, the hardcore alcoholics, the clingy psychopaths, the intellectuals that converse on the couches, and the responsible people who enjoy the evening without alcohol (yeah, right!) If videotaped, this would not be just ‘Another Teen Movie’, but a sweeping multi-character porno dubbed “It's Time to Get Hardcore Fossilized.” If you are looking for cougars and muulets welcome to your Garden of Eden. At times you might even be able to catch a little felatio, amidst the dim lights of the parking, lot to the fabulous hum of some country and western radio station. Why do we continue to assemble at this small, seedy bar? Simple. It’s close by. And really, what else is there to do in Scarborough besides going to Caesar's? (Which, on a side note, rocked!) The Fossil and Haggis is located in a mini- plaza just off Morningside. This grotto unleashes the beast in the most timid of men and women... Some have even called it “Incredible.” What follows is our inebriated account... Our eyes were ablaze with controversy. Our intake was extreme, as we stumbled through that smokey haze by Sachin Hingoo Wednesday, September 18, 2002 of confusion. Why do we call it Fossil? Because our minds will be embedded with the memories of this bliss for years to come- well more like for the next five minutes, until that next pitcher arrives, pumping more booze to our brains, like heroin sliding through our veins. Are we to spend our remaining years at UTSC joining these lost souls at Fossil? Or is it a quick fuck, like jiffy-pop on the burner? After considering these debacles, we make our way over to the bar, falling in the attempt to walk. In between buying a round of sex on the beach and being groped by that gross old man that follows you around the bar - Yes, every great place has one! - we catch a glimpse of the future; and drink again. As reality hits us like a bitch slap, we forgo that future with a shot of tequila (which, by the way, is a sport.) Now we are fucked, exactly where we wanted to be. Why make sense of this eve- ning when it'll end with turmoil regardless? There are so many people looking for love in the wrong places. But who can blame them? If you think beer goggles are the problem, consider ‘beer plugs’ that suck you in like Wagner's sirens to the Rock of Doom. “It would be nice to get a blow job from your mom,” but we all make due with accessibility. If you must watch birds Do not look them in the eye ‘They can sense your fear, - -http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ~~ 7 .. 4 17 The Underground Life Best Buddies Program Catalyzes — Positive Change | Philipp Santiago For the past thirteen years, post secondary stu- dents have been forming friendships with intellectually disabled peers, through the Best Buddies program. In 1987, as a student at Georgetown University in Washington D.C., Anthony Kennedy Shriver formed an organization that would bring together those with and without developmental disabilities. Experienced with the disabled, Shriver rightly acknowledged the need to facilitate such unique __ friend- ships; he had _ the steadfast resolve to change the way the world saw people with disabilities. Little did he know that the national, non __ profit organization that he would form two years later would go on to reach _ interna- tional status. The first Canadian chapter was established in 1993 at York University, and Best Buddies Canada became a registered Canadian char- ity in 1995. Abroad, chapters are presently held in Greece, Egypt, Ireland, Sweden and Cuba, all due to Anthony's vision. Shriver’s vision continues to enlighten today’s youth, and challenge a world whose views still need to be contested. Although many adults with intel- lectual disabilities live independently in community residences, go to school or to work, they are still asso- ciated with negative labels, and are not celebrated or recognized for being contributing members of society. Best Buddies aims to educate, to demonstrate the ben- efits of a more inclusive society. Best Buddies matches post secondary students, and this year has implemented the program in ten Toronto high schools, with adults who have intel- lectual disabilities. Within a university, college, or high school community, matches are made between compatible individuals. Buddies, (the intellectually disabled person), and Student Buddies, (students), then communicate by phone once a week, and meet twice a month for one-to-one activities. There are also four group events that are held within the school year. At these events all the Buddy Student Buddy pairs can mingle and enjoy themselves by broadening their social circles. Although the program runs from mid- fall to late spring, many friendships outlast the dates set out by the organization and stretch through the summer, until the program resumes in September. This is what Best Buddies hopes for. Once Best Buddies has helped create a friendship, it naturally becomes more and more comfortable, and ceases to be tense and formulaic, as any new relationship can be. All society needs is a little education on the Best Buddies program, encouragement, and a little direction to begin these unique friendships. Too often, adults with intellectual disabilities are casually excluded from social and cultural life. How easily society fails to be aware of all the abilities that a disabled person has. A person with a disability has the ability to be a reliable employee, an all-star athlete, a jivin’ dance partner, a loving soul mate, and a comfort- ing friend. How strange it is that society concentrates only on the differences that divide us, and is blind to the similarities that should bring us closer together. Since my freshman year, as a Student Buddy and later the Activities Coordinator at the University of Toronto, Scarborough Campus, | have directed my efforts towards this worthwhile organization. This year, alongside Christine Fernando, who also has been dedicated to Best Buddies for the last two years, we will take on the roles of Campus Coordinators. With the help of our Host Site Coordinator, Rebecca Lovering-Spencer, our Buddy Advocate, Andy Andianidris, and Laura Bailey, Best Buddies’ Volunteer Coordinator for the Greater Toronto Area, Christine and | hope to bring much-needed awareness to the university, while having lots of fun in doing so! Between the 9th and 12th of August, | was fortunate to represent my campus at the annual Best Buddies Leadership Conference, held this year at McMaster University, Hamilton. Young leaders represented uni- versities and colleges from across Canada, from Saint Mary’s in Nova Scotia to the Okanagon University in British Columbia. Today 52 colleges and universities participate in Best Buddies Canada, offered in both Official languages. Over the span of the 3-day conference we under- went intensive training, learning how to run the pro- gram successfully within our own school communities. We were also given the opportunity to reflect on the growing success of Best Buddies, as we met other Canadians with similar initiatives, devoted to helping those with intellectual disabilities. | encourage everyone to participate in the Best Buddies program, whether by becoming a Student Buddy, making a donation or by taking our message, our mission, to heart. Catalyze positive change in the world ... in any fathomable way. Good luck to all of this year’s Campus Coordinators. | wish you every success with your chapters and sharing the gift of friendship! Though Best Buddies strives to facilitate friend- ships between students and peers with intellectual disabilities, the effects of the program are not limited to the students. Society at large experiences the benefits as well. Not only do the parties involved form friend- ships they would likely never have had the opportunity to form, but communities have the opportunity to see for themselves that we are not that much different from each other after all. See not with judgmental, discriminating eyes. Rather with a just, candid soul. For more information, contact Philipp Santiago and Christine Fernando via _ e-mail: changetheworld@soon.com and visit the Best Buddies website: www.bestbuddies.ca 18 http: www. utsc. utoronto. Oe eee te: Oke ~ i sctsireess “ oe Diversions OCERERGMC HH BOS DH Are you bored and alone? Are all of your “friends” too busy to spend time with you? Here’s the perfect solution: Make yourself a friend. He’s warm and small, fits in your backpack and will never be too busy to cuddle with you. | think its obvious that you need to make a sock monkey, so get on it. The instructions are as follows: YOU WILL NEED: 1. One pair of wooly work socks 2. Stuffing - cut up old nylons, cotton batting, shredded foam rubber etc. 3. Red yarn and a big bad needle. INSTRUCTIONS: TURN THE SOCKS INSIDE OUT BODY: Sew a seam (A) 1/2 inch on both sides of the center of sock start- ing three inches from the white heel and across the end of the top. Cut the sock between the seams and to within 1-1/2 inches of white heel. This leaves an opening in the crotch. Hey? Do you like free movies? You can win free double-pass to see “Sweet Home Alabama,” starring... We totally can’t remember who's in this movie. Can you believe that? It doesn’t matier. The first 20 people to show up at the Underground office in S-364 (the same snazzy portable as always) and tell us who's starring in this movie will win double-passes to see it. Serious takers only please. Don't waste our precious passes. here’s a hint... http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Hey bud, school’s not just for academics. Check out this column when you're looking for something to take your mind of that big mother chem exam. Now maybe you'll actually have fun on Friday nights... Wednesday, September 18, 2002 Then turn the sock so the seams are on the inside and use the crotch opening to stuff the head, body and legs. ARMS: Cut the upper part of the sock into two pieces. Seam, rounding the ends and stuff the arms. MOUTH: Cut the heel from the sock, leaving a small edge around the white. Fasten on lower part of the face, whip-stitching around the bottom; stuff and finish sewing around the top. The mouth can be improved by a run- ning stitch of either black or white across the middle of the lips. TAIL: Cut a one inch strip, taper to end of cuff on length of front of sock. Seam and stuff. EARS: Cut the ears from the remaining part of the sole of the sock. EYES: Sew on moving eyes, buttons, felt, or embroider with black thread. If you put big red X’s for eyes your monkey will look like your crazy wooly sidekick. CAP: (Optional) Cut off toe of another sock, leaving 1/2 inch of brown _ to roll for a brim. Sometimes a fez is used for a cap. the design for this monkey was pillaged from the following website: http:/Nennytaylor.freeyellow.com/monkey.htm -Ed. GUCCI » ALFRED SUNG + GIORGIO ARMANI » GUESS * Eye Exams Arranged * FREE Daily Wear Sphere Contact Lenses when you buy a pair of eyeglasses (Frame & Lenses) Fd | at our regular price. 2 * Daily Wear Sphere Contact Lenses LU i Le 05100! Jomus in the ae) we against Cie Gee topic here>. ft Vale ae UTSC’s studiyvspaper i lookinggagmters, | ema wsatundgndgusc arnt photographers, Cesigierandamaté INVWaYV OlYOdWa | Reg. $99..... Now $59! Yentenary Optical | BB stesmere Rd. — or leave us an angry post-it note on our office door at $364 (that’s night, it’s a portable...) i Neilson Rd. DIESEL vi qlaaA S va RAYBAN « CALVIN KLEIN + - TOMMY HILFIGER ° Bis FRE OTE E08 OW .i04D RIP HIGH SPEED TRALSFER PiAyY ALE HERE! mite] ames ok=t-Xo toile lhe-] MaslO(i(omde-|a\-3<-1em wo) ac-]o)(-yace|01e-]e)(-m-lale ML. 4] omic toe el=t- lana =t- lane lie |he-] ma-vaolee|[ave pam al-1 acm dal-van (2am) DA AYC-1L dagt-lameeelgel-1g from Sony. It’s the shits way to oad aixman Net MAD G-Protectio mand OnenMG Jursoor afe trademarks o * Sqr; Comp Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply Wednesday, September 25, 2002 _ Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief _ Associate Editors ee sgn Pet Soothing and Sultry: Associate Production James Relunia Manager ae a "News Editor — : finding jazz nights at Hart House p.8 UTSC's Growing Pains: - causing headaches for students Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters p.4 Opinion p. 5 News Life Tackling growth on campus p.6 Computer-addicts anonymous p.12 Medicine and politics in the Middle East p.7 Dropping in for Hart House Debates p.1 3 Arts - Feature Columns A new season of Jazz at Oscars p.8 Frog in My Throat p.5 "Those Girls" on Rez P.13 Reviews pg. 11 Problem-solvers ~P.14 Music - Brad Weekly Haiku p.14 Music - Alice Peacock Diversions p.15 TV - Puppets Who Kill Cover photo: Chris-McKinnon Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground Can we print that? “Can we print that?” | think so. “But what if we offend someone?” What if we do? Ah yes, there it is: That familiar feeling in my gut that tells me that we're printing something that ight be objectionable, might provoke response n our readers, might have us hauled into court for lawsuit. Last week’s issue of The Underground gar- ered the two first Letters to the Editor this year. It's an exciting thing to hear from people that have ead something that you put together. What's even more exciting is to hear from angry readers, the ones that are full of fiery words and righteous ndignation. One might assume that a university such as ours would be filled with easily offended, etter-writing types. The letters | received this eek served as a reminder that one should never ake assumptions. That's right, those letters are encouraging (see them, to the right of this edito- ial?); they're downright positive. Scarborough, you surprise me... | had you figured for a bunch of prudes. And maybe there are prudish readers out there still, wringing their hands at the sight of cuss- ords and explicit content; wishing this whole ews-magazine would be just a little bit more PC, ust a smidge more conservative. For those of you o found the last issue a little bit distasteful, you should find this week’s issue more to you liking. For reasons unbeknownst to me, two of my olumnists have retracted their statements from ast week; they have even made formal apologies to any naive readers who suffered ill-effects as a esult of their somewhat crude column. The name of said column (and the columnists’ names) have been altered to protect the innocent from certain orruption. We can only speculate now, at the umber of young minds that were maimed in the aftermath of last-week’s joking around. Well, never fear my dear reader. It shan't appen in this issue. | have cleverly indicated, ith small arrows and labels, any articles that are eant to be taken with a grain of salt, a raised eyebrow and a wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Now you don’t need to have a sense of humour, or a mind apable of discerning the satirical content from the genuine news-reporting. What! was thinking hen | allowed the publication of such smut last eek: | haven't a clue. I’m a student-leader goddammit and | should now better. Sincerest apologies, Chris McKinnon “Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.” - Jonathan Swift, The Battle of the Books, preface. Re: Leaving a a Mark: Editorial / Letters http:/Avww.utsc: utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ; + Opinions Upon A Star | | Frog In My Throat Merika I. Ramundo Singer, songwriter, super sex symbol Lenny Kravitz made all my dreams come true Monday night at the Molson Amphitheatre - o0.k. maybe not ALL my dreams....... maybe just the ones with him in them. Let me explain. In my world, there are numerous men that | consider sexual icons. They include but are not limited to: Lenny Kravitz for his wild demeanour, intelligent yet simple riffs and the mystery behind the perpetual masking of his eyes with shades; Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty for his silky voice, rough-around-the- edges looks and romantic musical sensibility and last but certainly not least, the first rate character actor from such films as Full Metal Jacket, Men in Black and The Cell and most recently playing the tough cop of Law & Order, Criminal Intent fame, actor Vincent D’Onofrio. | feel like at this point | should go into a Mary Catherine Gallagher monologue but | won't. Superstar! These men, or should | say their perso- nas, go beyond the call of duty to make their way into the realm of my fantasy life. They embody characteris- tics that strike me as being.....mmmm, mmmm, juicy. My fantasy life, believe it or not, consists of one standard practice — the daydream. But instead of it running the course of a moment throughout my day, | make it a way of life. Hell, why shouldn't these flights of imagination last longer? Before you think I’m completely off my rocker, | would like to let you know that my “boyfriends” as | call them are merely figments of my imagination. | don’t act on any of my wonderings, | just the love the Fourth-year an : Rowena Wu As the school year begins it reminds me a lot of my first year: The nervousness, anxiety and uncertainty. This is my last year and it is not as | expected. There is little to no sense of relief or accomplishment, just the mounting expectations of jobs, graduate school, grades and < unknown future. A future not confined within these university walls. Jobs are scarce, grades are not where they should be and graduate school is beginning to look impossible. All | can do is present my accom- plishments over the past three year to the world and wait cr a mark. Will my last three years impress gradu- | When You Wish act of wondering. What’s even more reassurin I’m not the only one who fantasizes in this taken a little poll amongst my girlfriends and a of them have variations of what | call my “bo My close friend Paula’s face lit up when | ask she had people that she considered boyfriend “Of course | do, | have two ‘boyfriends’ who | often. They are John Cusack and Matthew Per now | know that Edgar Allen Poe was right wrote, “Those who dream by day are cognizantjof ma things which escape those who dream only by night. 3 What those things are, is different for each and every one of us which makes me wonder about you, dear Underground readers. Do you fantasize? Do you have “boyfriends”, “girlfriends”, “special friends” that make up your day- dreams? A follow-up article on UTSC’s fatasies is on. the way! The identities of all submissions will|be kept strictly confidential. E-mail all responses to: ramundoelmundo@yahoo.ca ate school committees? An employer? | sure hope so. When | first entered university it was the scariest thing | ever felt. The smart people were saying smart things; professors were !gcturing about their accom- plished lives as if it was simple and easy. | wondered how my life was to be, would | some day be lecturing with ease about my successes? This feeling of being very small in a very big plage soon dissipated and | got use to university. | made friends, had fun, even learned a bit over the next two years. \Now, when | accept my place in university, OAD AOR LUO SUES IEE EN OOS TDL DIREE LER ROR RAI ES ARN have come to here. Wednesday, September 25, 2002 Sat i : i | penny Kravitz: ‘How can you inot love such a beautiful ‘soul? my place in the world is. Should | continue my educa- tion or venture out into the work force? a importantly, a1 does either of these alternatives want me% | just want to remind all the employers and graduate committees out there that they were once here... So please take it easy on us. Graduating class of 2003, Congratulations. http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground News UTSC’s growing pains bi headache for students Meghan Hurley, Underground Staff A high-quality post-secondary educa- tion system is an essential requirement for students who aspire to become suc- cessful in the competitive job market. Canadian universities have become innovating institutions that educate stu- dents, ensuring them an advantage in the work world. As a result of increased interest and participation in post-second- ary education, as well as the approach- “[Study] space is also a ‘politically sensitive issue’ according to Edward Relph.” ing double cohort, University of Toronto at Scarborough is experiencing signifi- cant enrollment growth. The Master Plan was developed to support this increase and create more space at the university through additional faculty and staff, new buildings and services. To accommo- Canadian date the double cohort and the ongoing increase in students, the Scarborough campus is in the midst of construction. To current students this construction means a very limited and essentially use- less library. The library has been modified to allow for construction of the Academic Resource Centre. In order to modify the research facilities at the Bladen Library, many of the materials have been taken out of the library and are inacces- sible to students. As a very inconvenient alternative to researching at the library on the Scarborough campus, students are encouraged by Edward Relph, Associate Principle of Campus Development, to find other means of research. It is expected that students travel to the downtown campus every time they have to conduct research. The University of Toronto administrators were well aware of the double cohort for quite a few years, so they could have come up with plans for construction that were less cumber- some to the students. The growing pains at UTSC are becoming unbearable for all students, especially for seniors who are planning to graduate this year. Senior students preparing to commence exten- sive research for their major papers are concerned because they cannot browse the stacks at the Bladen library and have access to a very limited catalogue of texts. Third and fourth year students will experience little to no benefit from the chaos disrupting UTSC this year. The Bladen library will not return to order until the Academic Resource Centre is erected, which should be done in September 2003. Although it should be ready for business in September, many other projects on the campus have been significantly held up for various reasons. In the mean time, students are able to order books from the downtown campus, but will have to wait for at least a few days to receive the materials. Instead of waiting for research materials to be mailed from one campus to the other, it might be easier just to make the long trip downtown for the construction. According to Edward Relph, the zoning for parking on campus was illegal so they had to correct it before they could commence with any building. Construction on the campus was also held up due to financial issues. The building committees at the university had to wait for funding from the government and the Super Build initiative in order to hire architects to build the new additions to the school. The school finally received funding from the government, but not directly. In order to receive government funding, University of Toronto had to sign a leasing agreement with Centennial College. If the university did not become affiliated with Centennial College, UTSC would have not received the benefits from the Super Build initiative. Affiliating the university with a college was done primarily for financial, not academic reasons. University of Toronto at the downtown and Mississauga campus’ received direct funding from the Super Build initiative, but the Scarborough campus did not. to visit their The functionality of the campus has ultimately functioning been compromised, and it’s giving students a Universities - Equality For All? Karim Kassam Peery Act ~evert:| 1. 10 (2) There has been a disturbing trend among universities in Canada, and anyone who has enrolled in one can relate. Education costs are skyrocketing, from tuition to books to residences, and show no sign of letting up. Indeed, if the current indicators continue, by 2017, it will cost $13,418 for the first year of uni- versity, costing $57,100 for a four year degree, and that figure is nearly doubled if residence is included. According to a survey done by USC Education Savings Plans, the average increase from the 1998/99 school year to the 2000/01 school year was 5%, with- out residence. Coupled with a decade that has seen education costs increase 135%, this statistic seems a warning of things to come. Increasingly, Canadian students are seeing their education dreams become handicapped by student loans. The Canadian Alliance of Student Associations cites that this year alone, approximately 30,000 students will graduate with a student debt greater than $20,000. The blame, however, is not only to be placed on universities, as they are forced to do more and more with less and less. The double-cohort that will enter universities and post-secondary institutions across Ontario next year will more than double the number of applicants to post-secondary institutions across Ontario, and in order to accommodate the growing need, an extra $325 million dollars will be required to ensure that qualified students will be able to pursue higher learning. The provincial government is taking steps to allow students to attend their respective institutions without incurring unmanageable debts. The Ontario gov- ernment has acknowledged that the problem exists, and in its budget in June 2002 increased operating grants for universities province-wide by $91 million dollars. However, this does little to change its miserly status as one of the three lowest-spending provinces in Canada on post-secondary education, and spends 18% lower than the national average on university operating grants, according to a survey taken during the 1999/2000 school year. Even more dishearten- ing, funding for universities has been falling steadily since 1992/93, and only Saskatchewan and Manitoba have increased provincial funding to their post- secondary institutions, while other provinces are struggling to play catch-up. The federal government has also been a major culprit in the escalating stu- dent education costs debacle. Declining federal cash transfers and operating grants to universities since 1992/93 have caused universities themselves to increase their tuition simply to keep up with the sharply expanding demand. SALES RO SEALING : SiR AERA RUA LANA ANN library. After | | all, students big headache. are paying large amounts of money for the services downtown, so why not take advantage of them? Along with much of the research materials being removed due _ to construction, study space is also a “politically sensitive issue”, according to Edward Relph. A large portion of study space was in the library, and with the library under construction much of this has been lost. Some of the study space previously located in the library has been displaced, although in very inappropri- ate areas on the campus. Students are now being forced to study in desks in the busy hallways of the H-Wing and the S- Wing, in the middle of student traffic. The hallways of the university are ridiculous places to have “quiet study areas” for students to do their work. The SCSU president, Dan Bandurka, commented that there was an agreement made to replace all lost study space from the library using other parts of the school. He would release no comment as to how many study spaces have actually been lost during the phases of construction, but the number is significant. Much of the construction on the Scarborough campus could have been finished at the beginning of this academic year, but avoidable technical errors have stifled the building process. The building for Centennial College on the University of Toronto campus could have been com- pleted already, but the building commit- tee had difficulty getting zoning approved Ee 6 The Vice President of Business Affairs at the University of Toronto, Felix Chee, is also responsible for holding up projects on campus. Chee obviously does not understand the university envi- ronment and the magnitude of building on campus. Although he is dealing with a university, Felix Chee is coming from a corporate perspective which does not help the students at UTSC. It is unfortu- nate that the Vice President of Business affairs is not looking out for the interests of the students. As a result of his per- spective, the functionality of the campus has ultimately been compromised, and it's giving students a big headache. Unfortunately, the Associate Principle of Growth on the Campus, Edward Relph, commented that he had to be careful as to what information he disclosed, so the students at UTSC will not know the entire reasoning behind all of the inconvenience and unpractical means of growth on the Scarborough campus. The Master Plan for growth on the campus was created quite some time ago, so the plans should have been implemented earlier to avoid such catastrophes on the campus, and distress amongst the students. From the perspective of the students at University of Toronto at Scarborough, the construc- tion on the campus, and the way in which the construction is being done, is putting significant pressure on all students, and is limiting their capacity to learn and research. http://www.utsc.utoronto,ca/~undergnd/ News _ Wednesday, September 25, 2002 “Medicine should stay above politics,” Israeli scientist declares Anik Misra Underground Staff “Medicine should stay above politics,” declared Professor Rivka Carmi to a small audience of students, faculty and guests at U of T last Thursday. The statement, which was also the ubiquitous mes- sage of her presentation, led into Dr. Carmi’s_ lecture entitled “Prospects for Arab-Israeli Cooperation: The Role for Academic Leadership”. Carmi, an Israeli scientist, is the Dean of Medicine at Ben Gurion University of the Negev, in the desert- region of southern Israel. She is involved in a number of programs that encourage scientific exchange between Israeli and Arab researchers from the Palestinian West Bank and Gaza, Egypt and Jordan. The majority of the joint undertakings involve the Negev Bedouins as the subjects: semi-nomadic Arabs who consist of 12% of Israel’s population. They are a people that is by-and-large subject to poor living. con- ditions, second-class treatment and a lack of modern medical and educational facilities as a result of Israel’s blatantly discriminatory infrastructure. The issue that was highlighted in Dr. Carmi’s coi- laborative study was the alarmingly high rate of birth defects and disease in the infant population of the The reason Carmi suggests: the permissibility of Arabs (most of whom follow the Islamic faith) to marry into their extended family. She explains that consanguinity (cousin marriage), a completely normal and acceptable social practice in Muslim society, stands at 60%. She explains that consanguinity has a detrimental effect by increasing occurrence of genetic disorders and harmful hereditary traits. She does mention however, that labelling consanguine marriage as the culprit is only her “best explanation” and there is no proven evidence that that it is the cause. That hypothesis rules out, however, any possible destructive effect by the way the Israeli government treats its Arab residents. One wonders if a contributing cause could be the fact that some Arab villages receive no electricity, have no sewage system, and aren't maintained the way any other Israeli township would be, despite paying equal taxes. Another possibility that increases genetic defects is the dumping of harmful waste near Arab refugee camps in Gaza by the Israeli government, which has allegedly made the incidence of cancer and other medical complica- tions skyrocket. Before the current freedom struggle (the intifadah) in the Occupied Territories, many Palestinian "Professor Rivka Cann gave a lecture entitled. “Prospects for ~~ Arab-Israeli Cooperation: The Role for Academic Leadership” toa small audience of students, : eal ae gists at u of Tlast have explained the reason for a slowly rising infant mortality rate. All of these factors in mind, the lecture wasn't made to criticize the unjust practices of any people on another or analyse the political status quo, but rather to sidestep those issues completely and concentrate on avenues of cooperation. Dr. Carmi is taking a step forward by giving the Arab citizens of her country the attention that is long overdue; she is moving against the current in a nation where bitterness towards Arabs is widespread and the struggle in the occupied Palestinian West Bank and Gaza rages on. It is commendable that the leading scientists of Israel have come together with their Palestinian and Arab counterparts in the name of peace, humanity and social justice. Perhaps it is time for their govern- Negev Arabs. In fact, the mortality rate in the Negev stands at 15.3 per 1000 live births, a number that is threefold that of the rate in Israel’s Jewish population. AIDS Walk 2002 raises funds and awareness Lionel Boodlal Underground Staff “| am HIV positive and will soon have full blown AIDS...” Upon examination of your initial reaction to this statement, one can easily categorize the sentiment of a large portion of the wold population to the lethal, sexually transmitted Human Immuno-deficiency Virus (HIV) which leads to Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). That is to say, many people have a strong fear and even scorn of HIV positive persons. First diagnosed in the early 1980's, HIV has proven to be a scourge on its victims, not necessarily because of the varying physical symptoms, as there often aren't any for months, even years after infection, but more due to the harsh social consequences. It’s early prevalence among lesbians and gay men served to stereotype the disease as the “fiery fury” sent to punish the “frolicking freaks” that choose to ignore the natural scheme of intimate relations. Twenty years and thousands of hetero- and homosexual victims later, a cure for one of the most devastating diseases to confront humanity is still elusive. Patients must rely on one of several confounding cocktails of expensive drugs that serve only to sustain life, whatever sliver may remain after subtracting the social costs due to widespread public ignorance. The AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT) staged the 14° Annual AIDS Walk Toronto on September 22" in order to raise funds for finding a cure for AIDS. In the face of strong social discrimination against the HIV/AIDS epidemic that still prevails worldwide, this event promoted a strong sense of community among people from all walks of life united in the fight against AIDS. The Walk fittingly commenced to the tune of Tracy Chapman’s “Talking about a Revolution” rendered by the melodious voice of Emily Garber. Witnessing the support of . approximately 15 000 people marching together, armed with banners and bal- loons, celebrating their hope for a cure, and expressing their demand for such a realization, was certainly a heart warming scene. The spirit displayed in the after walk activities, particularly the 1** Annual Drag Races, demonstrated a better approach to the mention of HIV/AIDS. Rather than instilling fear, HIV/AIDS should be met head on and fought with full ammunition of education, safe sex practices and priority in medical research. To this end, the AIDS WALK Toronto 2002 raised funds in the vicinity of $600 000, surpassing their financial goal by an impressive $100 000. To any skeptics present, this portrait of people in action was sure to send a salient message of the need for a change of contemptuous attitude toward HIV/ AIDS. The AIDS Walk of Toronto 2002 successfully set an excellent example of the essential active progress toward the amelioration of the lives of HIV positive people through greater social acceptance, and ultimately a cure. http://www. utsc.uto’ nto. ca/~undergnd/ women married into Arab-Israeli families, which could ment to do the same. Upcoming SCSU elections important to everyone Lisa Endersby Underground Staff For many first year students, the SCSU fall elections belong somewhere in a category with the ongoing construction going on around campus; we are aware of its presence but its importance is diminished when placed alongside such first year chal- lenges as getting used to larger than normal class sizes and realizing that. But for myself, being given the opportunity to write an article for the Underground has forced me to delve deeper into this election process and the SCSU itself. In order to gather what | felt would be necessary information, | ventured into the offices of the SCSU and found myself talking to none other than the president himself, Dan Bandurka. As it turns out, the impending elections have impact for all students in general, and will be especially important for first year students. There are three positions or offices that are to be filled in this year’s elections: two first year representatives and a Life Sciences representitive. The main duty that will be performed by the three elected students will be to act as a means of communica- tion between the SCSU and their constituencies. First year students should be paying particular attention to these elections, as the two elected first year representitives will be, in effect, representing all first year students at UTSC. The Life Sciences repre- sentitive, similarily, will become an advocate on behalf of all Life Sciences students on campus. Another key issue surrounding the elections this year, concerns the referendum that will be on the ballot. Since 1983, students have been paying $20 to the SCSU to help cover operating costs. Unfortunately, due to inflation, the value of this $20 has been decreasing, which makes it difficult for the SCSU to maintain their current prac- tices. The proposed solution, which will be decided on the election ballot, is to attach this $20 fee to the CPI (Consumer Price Index), which while increasing the fee by 2% or 40 cents, will dissolve inflation and, as Bandurka says, will ‘protect the student's investement’. Now please don’t ask me how attaching the $20 fee to the CPI will dis- solve inflation, since |’m still a first year student and only two weeks into my introduc- tory management course. What | will tell you is that if all we have to pay is an extra 40 cents in order to maintain the SCSU’s level of involvement in student life, it certainly seems like a worthwhile investement. As for the upcoming year, SCSU faces the challenge of not simply maintaining, but in fact creating school spirit. As most students have become too focused on school and part time jobs, school spirit has become a considerably low priority. But, as Bandurka pointed out, this problem cannot be fixed over the course of one year and there is in fact a 10 year program being implemented which will hopefully make everyone just a little more proud to be a part of UTSC. Tt he Underground Feature storm. | was glad to know | could keep myself dry inside. The comfortable and inviting atmosphere of the Arbor room made the thick heat more bearable, and | sat down near the stage. The evening began at 9:00 p.m. The band was setup and ran through an extensive jam session to warm up the crowd. The band consisted of Chris Gayle on sax, Adrean Farrugia on keys, Rob McBride on bass, and Mark Congram on drums. The upbeat but soulful tone of their performance made for a good preview of things to come. The chemistry between them was plain to see; they played off each other’s per- formances, sometimes in solos, some- times dueling off. The red-faced solos of Gayle’s wailing and expressive perfor- ee range that would subtly move from brash to moody, while always remaining play- fully casual. Against the flash of lightning outside passers-by could be seen peer- ing in through the windows, attracted by the style and swing of Kira’s perfor- mance. Whether fast or slow, the music kept the listeners rapt in beat. The crowd fluctuated throughout the evening. While the night began strong and the room quickly became packed, as the evening progressed it would dwindle and fill as people came and went. But part of the appeal of Hart House’s season of performances is the open atmosphere that the free admittance and the intimate setting creates. With a full season of free nights lined up, coming by the Arbor room for Jazz at Oscars is a great way to , or just the at Oscars be closed anksgiving day will be “Canadian jazz drummer, composer and pianist. On October 4 you can catch Mark Sepic, a Latin flavored guitarist. As for Kira Callahan, you can find her, Chris Gayle and Adrean Garrugia performing the next two Tuesdays (October 1 and 8) at The Rex on Queen St. West, near University Av. These will be early performances, beginning at 6:30 p.m., so if you find yourself downtown, seeing Kira would be an excellent way to start off your night. If you'd like to find out more about her, her official website is www.kiracallahan.com. | can’t pretend to be an authority on jazz, but | must claim to know a few things about evenings out, and this won't be the last time | begin a Friday at Hart House. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ t groups ing 271 ar _ Boor ie) oo Qo. ~ VY) <1 & ARTS -1141 r 398 du Maur 800- ee) _— Lis} E he o ue i= For grant AS SEEN BY The Underground Advertisement MORE MAYBE HELPFUL NEWS From DODAND BEVER Soke sige meres operat rite = sat e first weekly meeting with the Aramark Food services irector took place last Thursday. The following is the list of questions and issues raised and the responses provided. This material is also posted on the notice board utside the main entrance to the H-Wing cafeteria. It is leverly titled Stimulus and Response. Questions and Issues Raised ‘Some of these comments and questions are paraphrased for the sake of brevity and clarity. If we didn’t get it right, let us know at the next Meet the ‘Director Meeting. 1) We should have a pasta and stir-fry station available. 2) There should be more signage at each station. 3) Why are food items so expensive? Students have a tight budget. 4) There should be more variety on the menu. 5) Cana freshness date be placed on all to go products to ensure freshness? 6) Can directional signage be placed around the University to indicate each location? 7) Does Aramark provide students with surveys? 8) How about a fresh juice bar? RESPONSES ‘The responses are provided by Aramark’s Food Services Director and Peter Smith, Manager of Food and Beverage Services at UTSC since some issues are not related to Aramark. In some cases if the question is complicated, a detailed response will be posted later. 1) Centre Stage, the pasta and stir-fry station is open daily, Monday to Friday between 11am and 3pm. The various stations operate ifferent hours based on previous years experience and expected demand. The postings for the hours of operation at each location will be updated to reflect the hours that each station is open. The overall hours of operation will be reviewed at the end of September (or whenever the Tim Horton’s outlet is ready). 2) Signage located in the food service areas includes the stations, menus and prices, daily specials and features. The individual take out items are priced on the package or in the case of cold drinks listed on the ridges. Signage for hours of operation and other notices are posted by the entrances. If there is a suggestion as to what additional signage would be helpful, we would be pleased to try and fit it in. 3) Food prices are always contentious at any college or university mpus whether operated by Aramark, our competitors or by the institution itself. This is an issue which requires a detailed explanation from both the Aramark and University administration. Some of the points that we would ake now include: Food prices for franchise products e.g., Pita Pit, Time Horton's, Pizza Pizza, are set by the franchisor not by the Aramark or UTSC. In annual price comparisons with other Ontario colleges and universities, UTSC has always ranked among the low end of prices ' harged. The new survey results should be available sometime in late October. Aramark, or any other contracted caterer, operates under he terms that it collects money for the food sold, pays for the cost of goods, packaging, direct and indirect labour, any applicable royalty fees or franchise operations, financing the cost of renovations and capital investment in improvements (like a Tim Horton’s) and payments to UTSC. UTSC collects money in order to pay rent, services such as ei eset sgingaes a wy oF pos sort SOE me 5 ¥ garbage and recycling, and other costs. The ore service Soparetons do not draw on the budget which includes revenues from your tuition fees. COMMENTS AND INFORMATION REGARDING THE FOOD AND BEVERAGE SERVICES BUDGET AND THE BUSINESS OF FOOD SERVICES WILL BE POSTED AT ALATER DATE.-Peter Smith 4) The variety of services is heavily dependent on facilities. Aramark have proposed to UTSC a major renovation of the H-Wing afeteria to address the chronic problems of limited service space. The expected completion of the expansion which will include two new stations ill be by September 2003. There will be a Teriyaki Experience franchise, BBQ rotisserie outlet and larger cook to order stations If you consider the choices available at the different outlets, you may understand that the variety is in fact larger than you think. H-Wing offers: - Centre Stage-cooked to order pasta and stir-fry - Montague’s Deli-subs and sandwiches - Grilleworks- Burgers and traditional fast food - Home Zone- North American and World dishes as well as comfort oods. - Pizza Pizza-by the slice pizza - Plus a big assortment of cold drinks, coffee, ae and go sandwiches — and salads. : R-Wing offers: - Pita Pit: A variety of made to order pita and fillings. - Pizza Pizza he Bladen Foyer will offer: - A full service Tim Horton’s with the familiar baked goods, soups, chili and various combinations. 5) Effective September 19, all packaged goods such as salads and sandwiches will have a date of production placed on the package label. This is not a best before date; it is the date that the item was made > and packaged. If you find a sandwich or salad without a date on it, bring it to the attention of the Aramark staff immediately! 6) SIGNAGE OUTSIDE OF THE CAFETERIAAREAS IS AUTSC ~ ISSUE HANDLED BY A SITE PLANNING COMMITTEE. THERE ARE — VARIOUS MAPS POSTED IN THE BUILDING SHOWING KEY AREAS. AS WELL THERE ARE HANDBOOK/AGENDA BOOKS LISTING THE LOCATIONS OF SERVICES ON CAMPUS.-Peter Smith : 7) Aramark uses a number of survey methods including an annual survey conducted by an independent company. Last year it was done on line and that methodology will be reviewed again. Another tool used is the comment card. A supply of cards is available at each cash station. You can pick up a card and fill in your comments immediately. You can drop off the cards at either the Aramark © office in H-Wing, or at Food and Beverage Services R-266. If you have a specific complaint about a product you’ve purchased e.g., the food is cold, don’t use a survey or comment card. Bring the problem immediately to the attention of the Aramark staff member on duty or ask to see the Manager! More information on the annual survey will be posted later when details are finalized. 8) Ajuice bar sounds great but more work will need to be done figuring out the space and equipment requirements and the cost of the products. Fresh juice products are both labour intensive and costly in terms of frésh ingredients through the winter months. We will have more on this later. 10 _ http://www, uts¢.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Review Peacc Album: Alice Singer: Alice Label: Sony Cathy Tat The first albu a major record | ing. How does Al | was curious. My initial tho the album was style was evid those of Sheryl! Marshall. She _ though. The albu _ ety of influences _ bluegrass and c does a good job convincing with and lyrics. The album is the fourteen son the songs for m _ Alice starts off wi _ My Heart’, give Album: Welcome to Discovery Park Band: Brad Label: Redline Records Christian Lucier Brad’s latest release, Welcome to very Park plays like two different albums that have been cut and pasted ogether. However, only one of these albums” is worth the listen. Welcome Discovery Park is half crappy regurgi- ‘tated cheese rock and half slow mean- ‘ingful love ballads. This is one of those, “| only like songs two, six, and nine” albums. _ The best way to describe Brad's sound i is to say they are Counting Crows ets Blind Melon with a twist of Ben’s Fold Five just for flavor. Brad is Shawn Smith, Stone Gossard, Regan Hagar, Mike Berg. These guys have been round for almost ten years and have ‘only produced three albums (Shame 1993, Interiors 1997, Welcome to Discovery Park 2002). Yea, Brad. Brad in reality sounds like more of a side proj- ict for Stone Gossard, who is one of the guitarists for Pearl Jam. _ With Welcome to Discovery Park, 3rad attempts to deliver a hard funk rock ound that is interwoven with heartfelt ang on and sweat” tunes. | have to say t this mixture sucks ass. For starters, ad can’t rock for beans. The bland and ring song “Drop it down” sums this up ause of its dull-ass guitar riffs, text- ok drumbeats, and annoying vocals. mith vocals get even more annoying in ongs like “Arrakis”. What the hell is this uy thinking? Seriously? The one good thing about Welcome to Discovery Park se i ae http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Brad’s attempt to rock is a few of its slower jams. The tunes “If You Could Make it Good” and “Yes, You Are” best convey Brad’s talents. Both songs begin with a catchy melancholy piano line and progress at a nice easy pace. These songs demonstrate Brad’s talent in expressing the love department musically. Some of the lyrics on the album are also a plus. They go hand in hand with the slower melodies, such as “Yes, You Are”, where Smith sings, “It is like catching a falling star when your girlfriend is your best friend.” Welcome to Discovery Park is mostly crap. On it, there are two distinct sounds, gritty rock and relationship bliss. The-problem with this combination is that while you are trying to enjoy the slower tunes you can’t help but think how bad these guys suck at rocking out. Yes folks, it is that bad. It's like that annoying local band that tries to rock out at your neighborhood pub and you just want to smack them. Anyway, this album will probably go nowhere just like the last two. For some reason | get the idea that these albums are simply a result of Brad's infrequent jam sessions. This just isn’t good enough, which is why the album is weak. Brad needs to consider putting more commitment, thought, and development into their work if they want to make a mark as an alternative rock band. Enough said. Bottom Line: Strike Three, Brad's Out. Wednesday, September 25, 2002 \ SS praerourid Staff Puppets Who Kill October 11° @ 10PM on The Comedy Network When | saw the previews for the new Comedy Network show, Puppets That Kill, | was actually optimistic. The show, like many Canadian comedic talents, seemed funny and fresh. So | thought to myself, this could be it. This could be a Canadian sitcom that actually finds an audience. We here in the Great White North have had some success with sketch and stand-up comedy shows, but never has a Canadian sitcom intrigued me this much. Well... they say it takes a big man to admit that he was wrong. Puppets Who Kill, follows the exploits of four psychotic puppets that, for one reason or another, have ended up at a halfway house under the guard of their social worker, Dan, who attempts to help them become “productive members of society”. While admittedly the show's concept is quite funny, the actual produc- tion falls far short of any buzz or hype that its rather quick promos have shown. The show immediately goes for the jugular with no apparent censorship whatsoever (more on that later). The puppets are foul-mouthed demons with tempers and actions to match. We witness the drama as Bill; a ventriloquist dummy with a pen- chant for murder, in protest of having to put the toilet seat down, rigs the seat with a bomb. In addition to ripping off Lethal Weapon movies, Bill is also an avid tes- ticle thief. The gags are.delivered at a constant rate, but it’s just one over the top joke to the next without any sense of timing. South Park was successful based on the fact that through much of the so-called offensive humour, there were layers of subtext and commentary (despite what the show's creators say). Puppets, on the other hand, has got nothing beneath it. In its defense, Puppets That Kill has one wonderful redeeming quality. It is per- haps the most un-politically correct show that | have ever witnessed in my entire life, and for this it should be commended. However I’m sure that the episodes | saw hadn't been passed through the censor- ship bureau as of yet, unless swearing and references to explicit sexual acts and anti-religious imagery have been taken off their no-no list. Unfortunately those are the only redeeming qualities of the show, even if they are simply shock for shock’s sake. For instance, the best gag, from the two episodes | saw, involved Buttons the Bear being taken prisoner by the wife of a city counselor. After having an affair with Buttons, the bible-thumping woman becomes infatuated with him, and in a moment of wonderfully offensive TV she mock-crucifies him and proceeds to whip him in full S&M gear. | had to applaud the sheer guts of the moment, having never seen anything on television that was so willing to throw the book of morals out the window. But that scene was the excep- tion; none of the other shockers even try to venture anywhere close to making a point. If a TV show is willing to go beyond the boundaries of “good taste” then it should at least have something relevant to say. After watching two episodes of Puppets That Kill, | really wasn’t sure what the show was trying to prove. The only thing in the way of a point that | could derive from the show was that people, no matter what any of them claim, are all depraved, hurtful, and self-serving ass- holes. Well if that’s all there is, then no one really needs a show about puppets to tell them that. yt The Underground Life A Twelve Step Program Off Your Computer Geoffrey Micks Life Editor | speak with a slow and solemn tone, “My name is Geoff, and | am a computer game junkie.” Matt Cimone, President of the Varsity Christian Fellowship, looks me right in the eye and says, “Yes, you are. This is the first time I’ve come into your room when you haven't been playing that game.” Despite his agreement, | feel alone. No one understands my plight. | need to sit in front of a glowing box and beside a humming box for every hour | can muster, otherwise | am unhappy. This is an unnamed sickness, and it must be stopped. One of the problems with my condition is that there are no interventions for game addicts; there are no detox centres or support groups to lean on in times of stress. You have to come clean by yourself, or suffer the full effects of your terrible curse. My newest obses- sion is Medieval: Total War. An amazing strategy game from Creative Assembly, this warm and comfortable toy duplicates the political, economic, religious, and military exploits of twenty nations in Europe, North Africa, and Western Asia from 1087 to 1453. Does that sound boring? If it does, then there are times | envy you. | am not alone. This campus has dozens of people who have shut themselves behind closed doors to wor- ship the false gods of Counter-Strike, StarCraft, War Craft III, Quake Ill, and Diablo Il. It may not even be a game that has you hooked; people who spend eighteen hours a day on ICQ and the internet are not healthy, but no one is going to help them get better but themselves. Last year’s worst afflicted have all but disappeared from campus life. No, they have not been rounded up and shot. They were unable to find places in this year’s residence, because there are no Rez points granted for high scores in Grand Theft Auto, pasty complexions, self imposed isolation, and agoraphobia. They live in their parents’ basements now, and are spoken of only in the past tense, and even then in hushed voices. We, as a people under siege by computerized dis- tractions, have to move on and expand our horizons. There are parties out there. There are clubs and chari- ties and organizations where we can meet non-digitized people and interact with non-polygon based objects. With much effort | have drafted a twelve step plan to lead us out of the Silicon Valley of isolation and into the Promised Land of normality. Step One: Acknowledge you have a problem. Walking to class one day | made a resolution, “Before | play that game again | have to clean my room and have a hot meal.” After the class | had a one hour hole in my schedule, so | ran home, tidied, microwaved a potato, and still fit in half an hour of play time. | have a problem. Step Two: Find something else to do. When some- one comes to your door and says, “Hey Geoff, want to go to for a walk?” Leave the game --Save first-- and go with them. In this way you can experience life outside the gentle glow of your screen, and still find time to establish a trade network in the Baltic Sea. Step Three: Don’t hide your shame. Last Thursday | heard footsteps on the stairs, and | frantically con- cealed my game from casual view. The ubiquitous Chris Bourque, second year chemistry specialist and rabid Leaf fan, walked into my room and said, “Good for you. | thought | heard the game music as | was coming up the stairs.” Shamefaced, | turned my monitor and speakers back on, showing my crusade against Palestine pro- gressing beautifully through Egypt. Step Four: write an article concerning your problem, thus meeting your quota for the week. For those of you not contributing to the Underground you can skip this part. Forgive me, it's hard coming up with twelve Steps... Step Five: Switch off your computer when you sleep. > Gifted: A Celebration of Generosity to the Hart Sep. 6 to Oct. 5 House Permanent Collection (Mon. to Fri. 11-7 and Sat. 1-4 @ Hart House) Sep. 18 to Oct. 27 Gallery Exhibit Anna Hunt: Stitch City (Art Gallery) You are asleep; you do not need the gentle whir of the fan to comfort your unconscious slumber, and switching it off gives you good practice using the power button for something other than rebooting your way through a new game’s installation. Step Six, Seven, and Eight: Collect sympathy from people, use examples of this sympathy to solicit sympathy from still more people, and then use this as an excuse to throw a gathering of people. Note the repetitious use of the word people. Chat rooms and online forums do not count. If this seems unnecessar- ily uncomfortable, remember that at this social function you, the poor lost soul, are the center of attention. Your computer can wait for you upstairs; the people will be gone soon. Step Nine: Clean up after this party. Your room is already a sty, your house does not have to be one too. Step Ten: Start doing activities of your own volition. Cramping up? Go for a walk. Thirsty? Drink something in the kitchen, rather than consuming the carbonated goodness of knock off brand cola from your room’s bar fridge while sacking Milan. Drop in to visit friends. Shop at a store.rather than online. Get a tan. All these sen- tences fragments are giving you good advice, you need only push the mouse away and use them. Step Eleven: Deal with your computer addicted friends rejection and loathing. For instance, Nathan Barnard, owner of a 1.58 gigahertz Athlon XP1800 personal computer, read my title with vehemence; “A Twelve Step Program Off Your Computer? Never! You speak blasphemy.” Andrew Paranczuck was also against the article, shouting, “Nooo!” Then, upon real- izing his quote was going down on paper, he added, “Since computers are going to be integrated into your brain, you might as well accept it.” It should be noted that Andrew is a co-op Computer Science student, and thus has a vested interest in keeping me hooked. Step Twelve: This is the hard one folks. Move on. Leave the game behind. Like a recovering alcoholic, you can never dabble in your abused substance again. It is too easy to fall into old habits. You may think you can play in moderation, but wait until the sequel to your last passion comes out. Once again you will be spend- ing seventy dollars on a mind altering distraction which will cut you off from family, friends, fresh air, and the sun. | must admit, | will never complete step twelve. | can’t, and | won't, because | love my computer the way | love my spleen: | do not always keep it in the forefront of my thoughts, but it is a part of me. Maybe one day | will write an article explaining how | plan to beat the habit of being such a lazy hypocrite, but | will not do that until after the one about giving up procrastination goes to the presses, and to be honest | might never get around to that either. __http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ “ Kes SIH De Thee Vv Mot ont an _ Life “Those Girls” On Rez Julie “Sunshine” Harper & Sophie “Moonlight” Nicholson w/ guest writer J. L. B. We would like to start off with an apology: Last week’s article was not meant to be taken seriously. It was our perspective and we cannot speak for others, nor are we trying to. That is the purpose of us writing a column. We apologize for any misperceptions that may have occurred. This week we set out to promote some kick ass residence events which have been going on since the beginning of the school year. The SVC (Student Village Council) takes the student body seriously, and has implemented some weekly activities to relieve all that built up tension. Each Sunday night we find ourselves at the SVC with approximately sixty other keeners watching the Simpsons. Yep, Rez Café style. Besides coffee, cookies, and the occasional sundae, you may form common interest bonds-the tingly kind. You may meet your ‘soul mate’, date for 6 days, drive to Vegas —having car trouble on the way-— and be forced to marry Amish-style, erect a dwelling, churn butter and raise thirteen children on a goat farm. So much for women's studies. As a preemptive disclaimer we are not trying to offend the Amish, this was purely a fantasy sequence. Another super duper fun SVC event is the Tuesday night Movie Club- don’t worry you're already a member. You get to sit on a real couch, watch a TV that is larger than a box of Ritz crackers, and view something for which you didn’t have to ‘ride the rocket’ 20 Wednesday, September 25, 2002 minutes, pay a twelve dollar entry fee, and be seated amidst fourteen year olds on dates. Free your mind from Statistical Analysis and your four hour long Orgo marathon with fantabulous flicks such as S/ackers, Office Space, and Kids: brought to you by your favorite Movie Dictator, also known as Steve Harper —Thanks for asking. Or if you prefer something more wholesome than watch- ing out of control, drugged-up teenagers on film, you can pull up a bench, grab a stick, get nice and toasty, and belt out some rounds of Kumbaya. Last Wednesday Village Life Coordinators Sophie Nicholson ‘ and Laura Callaghan hosted S’mores Night at the Third Phase Fire Pit, which was attended by many and enjoyed by all. Who doesn’t savour the ooey gooey white sweet and sticky marshmallow madness? And finally for those nocturnal, R.E.M. deprived rats (we mean students) who are looking for something to do other than watch- ing raccoons run amok, we suggest ‘Insomnia Night’. The most recent movie presented by the organizers of this weekly event was Masters of the Universe. Need we say more? If any of this sounds like your idea of a good time, come with us to the Dark Side of Oz on Friday at 9 p.m.. See the flyer for details. With so much gratuitous fun happening on Rez, aren't you glad you didn’t go to Ryerson? We leave you with our weekly words of wisdom: “Don't get irate; simply gyrate”! There’s no Argument: Downtown Debates are Worth Seeing Geoff Micks Life Editor So it's a Wednesday night and you need out of the house? If you have the patience, the intelligence, and the TTC fare, you can sit in on a meeting of the Hart House Debate Committee. Attendance is free to U of T students; all you need to do is walk in and grab a seat. Don’t worry about being the only one there either; showing up half an hour early will not guarantee you a front row seat, and by seven o'clock it is strictly standing room only. Last Wednesday's topic was, “Be it resolved that Palestinian suicide bombers are freedom fighters, not terrorists.” Here, at last, the gloves could come off and opinions voiced without the tentative probing ques- tions so often found when discussing the Middle East. The Hart House Debate Committee has based its meetings around parliamentary procedures, includ- ing such trappings as the ceremonial mace, Speaker for the House and a court clerk who has a carefully cho- reographed series of hand signals to keep the debaters within their time restrictions. The side arguing for the resolution is called the government, with the leader being called the Prime Minister, and the side which claims the resolution is untrue is called the opposition. The debate itself is a rigid structure to make sure the Government and the Opposition are given equal access to the audience. Each side has three min- utes to introduce why they are absolutely right and their opponents are absolutely wrong, and this is followed by four speeches of seven minute each into which they fit every conceivable angle of debate, from the legal defi- nition of a word through to ninety year old treaties and legislation. After the Government's closing statements, the Speaker of the House will open the discussion to the audience, asking for one speech for the issue, one against, and two taking both sides. This can be espe- cially interesting, as usually it is the well informed and highly opinionated individuals who wish to have their voices heard; many have prepared notes. Do not let the careful set up fool you, debat- ers will say whatever they like in their allotted time. Stephanie Wilde, Prime Minister of the Government side of the debate, got everyone’s attention with her statement, “Islamic people are not scary evil people with horns.” Rory McKeown of the Opposition was also par- ticularly persuasive, pointing out, “We're not just about ends, sooner or later we have to take a quick quiet look at the means.” Debating at the university level is not unlike the choreographed stage-fight; the thrust and parry of these highly trained and motivated people is a beauty to behold. Each speaker will take twenty percent of their time to make their opponents’ arguments seem trivial, and then spend the remaining eighty percent trying to prevent the next person from doing the same to them. Each also struggles to provide at least one memorable sound byte, be it as uninspired as Bernadette Chung's, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” Or as passionate as Rory McKeown’s, “Why are you letting the people setting off the bombs set the terms of discourse?” Watching the facial expressions of each side as their statements are debunked is both comical and sobering; cheeks twitch, heads shake, and occasionally they restrain themselves from leaping to their feet to defend their point of view, an action which would have them reprimanded or ejected from the discussion. They may have been chosen to represent their side by simply drawing the short straw, and they may only have taken a week to prepare, but for that hour anything said against their argument fills them with a berserker rage; the kind of thing that starts soccer riots and revolutions. A debate is not about proving one side con- clusively wrong. Everyone knows people come in with their own opinions. Instead, the debaters try to present every facet of the argument so that when you leave, you have a new appreciation as to why the other side feels as it does. To this end, after the debate has concluded, the Committee often has a guest speaker. Last week’s presentation was given by Ed Morgan, Chair of the Ontario Region of the Canadian Jewish Congress and international lawyer. He mentioned a number of facts concerning the Palestinian suicide attacks, without ever stating his opinion on the actual debate topic. He also presented a thrilling argument against himself in which he argued both sides of a hypothetical international trial between Israel and Palestine. At the close of each meeting an informal poll is taken; the audience is asked to leave by way of specific doors: One door marks those who feel the Government was debating the right side, and the other door is for those people who feel the Opposition was backing the better argument. For this particular topic the audience was strongly in favour of calling Palestinian suicide bombers terrorists. While this particular debate was especially charged due to the subject it was discussing, the Hart House Debate Committee is a disciplined group which seems ready and willing to demonstrate its skills again in the future. So if you ever find yourself bored on a Wednesday and you are looking for intellectual stimula- tion, head on down to the Debate Room at Hart House before 7 p.m. They might not change your mind, but you will learn a thing or two. Oe me13 hitp://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground So. UPSI is Sachin Hingoo, Katie Pettit Rs y. a ris McKinnon Each week, here at the Underground, the UTSC Problem Solving Initiative (UPSI) will take some time out of their busy schedules to disentan- gle any problems that you, the average student or faculty member are too stupid (or ignorant!) to solve yourself. Our expert team will provide advice and we'll print the answers right here for everyone to see (don't worry, we won't print your name). So if you have a problem, some query, quandary, or pickle of any kind, please send it to: make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com. Since this is our first week, we'd like to tackle a question that we get all the time. Dear UPSI, What would you do if your son was at home? Crying all alone on the bedroom floor? Because he’s hungry! And the only way to feed him Is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money. And his daddy’s gone, somewhere smoking rock now In and out of lockdown, | ain’t got a job now! C.H. Dear C.H., You know, I bet a lot of advice columnists would tell you that it’s okay, you’1ll be able. to find a real job and support your child in a legitimate way without having to degrade yourself. Well, we’re not a lot of advice columnists. See, we believe a lot of skanks overlook the fact that, if you clearly don’t have enough damn sense to use a jimmie hat when you’re getting your slams on (translation: use a condom when you’re fucking), then you obviously don’t have a lot of concern for your own health. In short, why not try the pharmaceutical test- ing industry! There’s a whole host of companies that employ people just like you, people that don’t mind taking what could possibly be a neurologically harmful drug for some quick cash. Just look in your local newspaper, in the classifieds right before the phone sex ads and you’1ll find a virtual smorgasbord of large corporations that are willing to pump you chock-full of heart medication JUST TO SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN! And as a potential tester, you get such great perks as: = Confinement in an almost state-of-the-art medi- cal facility! = Not less Guaranteed! = A healthy and carefully monitored diet that tastes suspiciously like soap! SOAP! = Round the clock “supervision”! = Lots of study time (provided you’re not in the “aneurysm group”) ! than nine blood tests aé_ day! So, C.H., we think the path is clear. Stop selling your body to any old john, and get on the right track: Start selling it to science. - UPSI Sa ee eee yox Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo Theres only one word ‘To describe the lunch I had. ‘hat word? Hamburger. Essay Servi Need tutoring help with your essays? Highly qualified graduates will help with essay research, interactive editing, proposals and winning applications. ESL students welcome. (416) 280-6113 or customessay@sprint.ca Wanna be a columnist? eee ee ee i —__—_—_—_ nner http://www. tsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 14 t (bee Oi oe le | Fi. AK eM EY et diversions Wednesday, September 25, 2002 This week | bestow upon you, dear reader, every twelve year old’s dream: A word search made up entirely of dirty words. However, there is, as always, a twist. | am not providing you with a list of words, you have to rely upon your dirty, perverted mind to think of these words for yourself. | am doing this both to be mean, and to save those with poor innocent eyes from reading crude words (used to make reference to various parts of the human anatomy) that they may not appreciate. After all, this is supposed to be fun, not offensive. | assure you there are many many words to be found, and | challenge you to think nasty thoughts and find as many dirty words as you can. The first person that actually finds all the words and returns the dirty word search to The Underground office will win a homemade sock monkey. Words go every which-way. There are 71 of them. ae PPI] eee eee #5 aA bax a Bee ee Be beats Res BOWGEEGuM _ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 15 Walkman® - Cassette Player creer i eee ERE Vou re Not British ——______| Brought fo you by Conscientious North Americans (Based On A True Story) So you've just come back from your trip to England, huh? Have a good time? | see you've brought a friend back with you. No, not that new hat, your accent. What's up with that? You didn’t have that a month ago, now all of a sudden you're what, Jeremy _ fucking Irons? Come on, give it up. Dude, you’re from Brampton, not Brighton. | know - you hada great time, i know the people there are so sophisticated, but seriously, do you really expect t me or anyone ¢ else to believe that you’re just British now after being there one month? What IS that in your hand? A Pulp CD? Oh, aren't WE the British one! Let me put itto you like this ~ the fi ke British thing didn’t work for Gwyneth Paltrow, and it didn’t work for Madonna. Are you saying you can pull it off when they couldn't? evi 1a Grammy, or an Emmy, and that free coffee Well, just between you and me, that piece of PA %, oKe: - Portable MD Recorde SPLASH 2 Pilsghatitiia RESISTANT TRUMBPAD CONTROL www. sonystyle. ca/s2sports espe Sony ot Ganade- iia 'S Jaixtaan and Net Sal ore trademarks af Sony Gare, Reqmbox Hey! See all this white space? Your Ad could be here... Sores corey EDUCATION CANADA LEARN TO TEACH ENGLISH, FRENCH or SPANISH TESOL CERTIFICATE PROGRAM Contact our Advertising LANGUAGE EXCHANGE CLUB Learn Any Language Simply by Teaching Yours in Exchange 22 Wellesley St East 416 960 4602 www.educationcanadacollege.com Manager, Pierre Tredille for more information. mail to: tredille@hotmail.com Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon Karim Kassam Sachin Hingoo Associate Editors Production Manager —— Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager News Editor vacant - Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Geoff Micks Sports Editor vacant : vee aes Editor Greg Brown : Photography Edito especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. I *Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the I i addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous of mailicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. Fora more official-sounding Letters and Opinions | Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Undergroundis published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. itis funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground i is a member of Canadian donee Press (CUP). Wednesday, October 2, 2002 f- ry te Groundworks: new poetry by Cathy Tat and p.9 Jen Croswell Religion and War: My Third Wish Is For World Peace Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters p.4 Opinion p. 5 News Tent City eviction sparks outrage p.7 Arts 2 The Undefended Border p.8 Planet in Focus brings out the spirit of film fests p.8 Reviews pg. 12 Film - 8 Women Film - Moonlight Mile Contacting the Underground Staff Chris McKinnon. Mail: ©The Underground, U of T Scarborough Scarborough, ON M1iC 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Life Village Watch p.13 Villagers in Wonderland p.13 Comp. Sci. Club Returns P.14 Columns Weekly Haiku p.4 Frog in My Throat p.5 Nocturnal Street Whores on Rez p.1 2 Rants p.1 6 Problem-solvers P.17 Diversions Pp.1 9 Cover photo: Chris McKinnon : http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground As | “rode the rocket” to UTSC this morning, | managed to read most of last Saturday’s Globe and Mail. (Yes, my commute is that long.) | had art on my mind, having just left an Aesthetics lecture on the St. George campus and when 1 came across Heather Mallick’s column, As /f, | was given pause. The premise was this: Americans do not understand modern art. Americans do not like things that they do not understand. Conclusion: Americans do not like modern art. This was not, perhaps, the most politically correct logical equation, but it seemed plausible. The majority of Americans might, indeed, ‘not understand or enjoy modern art; God knows it isn’t always easy. But what troubled me more than the Globe Columnists declarations about the aesthetic ignorance of our neighbours to the south, was that | learned that some works of art had been withdrawn from galleries and exhibitions, in New York and across the United States, because of public outrage. And the public was not outraged that the pieces were too abstract or incomprehensible or anything like that. They were too real. Two sculptures that made reference to bodies falling from the World Trade Center have been “hauled away”, because New Yorkers found them offensive. Eric Fischl's Tumbling Woman was the first to go and Sharon Paz’s window display of falling paper silhouettes was next. | was left wondering: Was it too real? Are we to ban all images of persons falling, lest we be reminded of the WTC tragedy again and again? is it necessary to keep these images hidden away? And is it healthy to refuse to come to terms with the reality of all those who fell from the Twin Towers in the moments before they came down? A little more research enlightened my point of view. Many people continue to be unaware (I certainly was) that the television cameras were turned off, or away, during the most gruesome moments of the tragedy. The rest of North America was not witness to thousands of bodies raining down into the streets of New York; New Yorkers, on the other hand, could not escape it. If we had been subject to so ter- rible a reality, we might not be prepared to deal with art (no matter how important its creators feel it is) that hits so close to reality. As television producers made the decision not to broadcast the more horrific scenes of 9/11, those of us who were far from New York to begin with became even farther removed. | say, let New York send those sculptures and installa- tions away... Send them to other cities, where the people don’t know what to grieve for. The art is not diminished in importance for having been too evocative for one trauma- tized city. The rest of North America (maybe even the world) should embrace these terrifying creations as a bridge we can use to empathise with New York. Where our reality was cen- sored, art will fill the gaps in our experience. Chris McKinnon “The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Editorial / Letters I’m a first year student and given the fact that i still can’t tell where one wing begins and the other ends...except for the occasional sign on wall somewhere. I missed the chance to plead my case as a potential writer for this rag...which is really hilarious except for apologies that have filled this weeks issue. I think if you’;ve got something to say...say it..regardless of who it offends. That is why i am laying myself at your wise feet and asking for the chance to submit a column for this paper. If you could get back to me either way, i’d appreciate it. Brandi B. What do you think readers? She missed the tongue-in-cheekedness of our retractions and apologies; and we wonder if she missed our exceptionally clever “joke>”’ tags attached to articles where a sense of humour might have been useful... Should we give her acolumn? The Editorial Board is sitting on the fence for this one. Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo Listen, Nickelback You know you sound like Pearl Jam Go back to Russia. Hate our guts? Wish.we were dead? | TE Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: Reese _Editor-in-chiefo—" or email undérgnd@utsc.utor with “Opinion” or “Letter.to the Editor” in'the subjéct line. 3 5 e ie ogee (By the way, we're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) Opinions Bite Me UTSC: Frog In My Throat Merika I. Ramundo It is a melancholy thing to those who walk through these hallways or travel in Scarberia, when they behold the streets, the roads, and the portables, crowded with beggars of the bookstore, followed by three, four, or six thousand students, all in rags and importuning every passenger for a library book. These students, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in begging sustenance for their helpless appetites: who as they grow up either turn thieves for want of anything un-Aramark, or leave their dear native suburb to fight for the Chancellor at Hart House, or sell themselves to the fast food chains of the Eaton Centre food court. | think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of students in the heroin-ridden arms, or on the hairy back, or at the stiletto heels of mother red tape, and frequently of father bureaucracy, is, in the present deplorable state of the Queendom, a very great addi- tional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these students sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have her com- memorative moose set up, monument to a preserver of the beaver and the rhythm nation. But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the students of professed Scarlem; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of students at a certain age who are born of parents of OSAP in effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity by the squeegee. As for my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other student unions, | have found them to be grossly mistaken in their compu- tations. It is true, a student dropped from the fourth floor S-Wing into The Meeting Place might be supported by the main floor entourage of credit card and cd selling stalls, with little other nourishment; and it is exactly at 12 years of age that | propose to provide for them in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their Principal or RA, or wanting for crack and Oprah for the rest of their lives, they shall on the contrary contribute to the social schema. There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those voluntary migrations, and that horrid practice of drinking alone with no pub, alas! too frequent among us! The number of souls in this valley being usually reckoned near 6,000 (and still double-cohorting), of these | calculate there may be about 4,000 whose lives are mundane; from which number | subtract nil who are able to maintain their own social sanity on campus (except perhaps those Drama people); but this being granted, there will remain 3,998 social outcasts. | again _ subtract 2, maybe three for those who work at CSCR, or whose volunteerism at The Underground may provide a fleeting glee. Thus there remains only 3,995 students suffering such social deprivation. The question, there- fore, is how this number shall be reared and provided for? | have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ them in toga par- ties or fraternities; we neither have a fully operational pub, (I mean on-campus,) nor cultivate an atmosphere A Modern Proposal Wednesday, October 2, 2002 For Preventing the Children of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus (native of Scarborough or otherwise adopted through application) from Becoming Social, Political that is conducive to dancing and the general socialisa- tion of young adults. It is true, they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by studying in the hallways. | am assured by our administrators that a boy or a girl before graduation is no marketable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield more than minimum wage, or three frozen goats at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the tax man or landlord, the charge of a rib steak and a TTC bus pass having been at least four times that value. | shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which | hope will not be liable to the least objection. | have been assured by a very knowledgeable cannibal of my acquaintance in Markham, that an old, aging professor is a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and | make no doubt that it will equally serve in a stimulating fricassee or a ragout. | do therefore humbly offer it for public consideration that of the hundreds aging professors already computed, twenty may be reserved for the retention of knowledge and experience, whereof only one-fourth part should be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these professor are seldom the fruits of marriage (because they have affairs), a circumstance not much regarded by our sav- ages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining professors be offered in the sale to the highest dot-com bidder throughout Scardom; always advising the students to let them teach plenti- fully in the last month, so as to render them overworked “ and underpaid for a good table. A philosophy professor, | am told, will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, a professor in Social Work will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. | have reckoned upon a medium that the ego of newly tenured professor will weigh 29 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 50 pounds and so on and so on until they get old. | grant this food will be somewhat dear, and there- fore very proper for the educational reformers, who, as they have already devoured most of the curriculum, seem to have the best title to the aging academic. University lecturers’ flesh will be in season through- out the year, but more plentiful in March; for we are told by a grave author (Sir Mix-a-lot), an eminent French physician (Monsieur Maladroit), that fish and students’ exam anxieties being a prolific diet, there would be more aging professors made in Canada about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the St. Lawrence markets will be more glutted than usual. | have already computed the charge of raising a hor- rible teacher to be about two shillings per annum, aca- demic writings and publications included; and | believe no homie would repine to give ten shillings for the car- cass of a good fat calculus prof., which, as | have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the enterprising student will learn to be a good, well-rounded citizen, and grow popular and Sexual Burdens to their Professors, Parents or Country and for Making them Beneficial to the Public. among his peeps; the student will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till the school produces another professor ripe for the taking. Those who are more thrifty (as | must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable leather aprons for those ladies who venture to late night romps at the Zen Lounge, and summer whips and gimp masks for fine gentlemen. A very worthy person (Chris McKinnon, my editor), a true lover of his country, and whose virtues | highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter to offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said that many gentlepersons of this Queendom, having of late destroyed their fake i.d.’s, conceived that the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young inexperienced masters or doctoral students, not exceed- ing 40 years of age nor under 25; so great a number of both sexes in every university being now ready to starve for want of work and service; and these to be disposed of by their students, should bring about a healthy profit. But with due deference to so excellent a Bill and Ted’s adventure and so deserving of a Mickey Mouse watch, | cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my young acquaintance assured me, from fre- quent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our cheerleaders by continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge of eating disorders. Then as to the females, it would, | think, with humble submissiveness be a loss to the public, because they soon would become fetishists themselves; and besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people (i.e. Hare Krishnas) might be apt to censure such a practice (although indeed very unjustly), as a little bordering upon cruelty; which, | confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended. But in order to justify my editor, he confessed that this expedient was put into his head by the famous White-Out, a native of the island of PC, who came from thence to Scarborough nigh twenty years ago, and in conversation told my friend, that in his country where any professor happened to be put to death, the adminis- tration sold the carcass to persons of quality (Coca-Cola Inc.) as a prime rib; and that in his time the body of a plump archeologist, who was mummified for an attempt to poison the fossils at Jurassic Park, was sold to her Imperial Majesty’s Prime Minister of State (Donald Trump), and other great mandarins (indeed, the fruit) of the court, in joints from the condo scaffolding, at four hundred pesos per kilo. Neither indeed can | deny, that if the same use were made of several plump old political science academics in this town, the kingdom would not be the worse. Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast number of professors, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and | have been desired to employ my thoughts as to what course may be taken to ease these “soul searchers” of so grievous an encumbrance. But | am not in the least pain upon cont’d on page 6 The Underground Bite Me UTSC: A Modern Proposal - cont'd from page 5 that matter, because it is very well known that they are every day dying and rotting by repetition and boredom, and grading and evaluations, as fast as can be reason- ably expected. And as to the young professors, they are now in as hopeless a condition; they cannot get work, and consequently wither for want of nourishment, to a degree that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labor, they would not have the strength to perform it. | have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. | think the advantages by the proposal which | have made are many and obviously of the high- est importance. Firstly, whereas the maintenance of hundreds of professors, from 40 years old and upward, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings a-piece per annum, the nation’s woodstock will be thereby increased fifty thousand pounds per annum, beside the profit of a new dish (Cerebral Casserole) introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune (i.e. Mr. Lastman et co.) in the Queendom who have any refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among all students, the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture. Secondly, the murdering student population, beside the gain of eight shillings sterling per annum by the sale of their professors, will be rid of the charge of sleeping in class after the first lecture. Thirdly, this food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where the on-campus pub owners (stu- dents) will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection, and conse- quently have their residence houses frequented by all the fine hotties, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in good eating: and a skillful chef, who understands how to kick it with his guests, will contrive to make it as Naked as they please. Fourthly, this would be a great inducement to watch- ing The Simpsons, which all wise nations have either encouraged by rewards or enforced by laws and pen- alties. We should see an honest emulation among the professors’ husbands and wives, which of them could bring the fattest academic to the market. After all, | am not so violently bent upon my own Opinion as to reject any offer proposed by the three wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy (as Sunday morning), and effectual. | desire those politi- Opinions cians (PQ separatists) who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the TAs of these professors, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to sell the old folk for food, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes as they have since gone through, be it the oppression of the tutorial, the impos- sibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the bleakness of Pamela Anderson's VIP, nor the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like or greater miseries upon their breed for ever. | profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that | have not the least personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my student body, by advancing our e- trade, providing for Barbified infants, relieving the Tent City poor, and giving some pleasure to the avant-riche. | have no children by which | can propose to get a single penny; and my imagined boyfriend is a rock star. Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply Eee re nieereninseeseeseesseeeeees € ; News , Wednesday, October 2, 2002 Home Depot’s PR nightmare Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief We really should have see a shanty-village on the wa did we expect? The Toront coverage of the recent evi who had been living on lan which came as a surprise to m “What really disgusts me is that Home Depot has no intention of building a store at that site. This is Comparable to a 5-year-old screaming to get his/her toy back, and upon getting it back, throwing it in the garbage. “ -Irene Rundle, Mississauga, Sept. 25, on The Toronto Star’s (On-line) Speak-Out ress Why don’t the squatters take all their energy in fighting their eviction from land they don't own and apply it to getting jobs or housing or something productive? -Chris Beale, Toronto, Sept. 25, on The Toronto Star’s (On-line) Speak-Out page. bringing in a private security Others disagree vehemently, j, shanty-village were in the wi What has resulted is a ht Depot, and an angry mob o the mob to City Hall, wher to the mayor. They were guards, as any angry mob might each of the city, Home Dep a new place for these peo been trying to place them i There are few things that Toronto than the issue of h money. At the polar extrem see the homeless fend fo from a social safety net to ¢ and permanent housing; a the citizens of Tent-City b build a small community o ning water or electricity. What many people se issue was never about w these squatters; rather, the PR-friendly fashion. The la mercury, among other toxin permanent shanty-commu the landowner, could not ri so squatters. In fact, the sq e ho: : Depot did not move faster to Pays then einpved: After has years of deliberating, the corporation has finally realised that there are no other options. It was nothing but fear of their current PR nightmare the 2003 Awards of EAC ELLEN CE aOR OSNGIE VEE RSS pl Say=-@©- B=]. ©: REO NGkO© Applications are now being accepted for the NORTH ROP F RYE AWARDS The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: once again to join the provost in sponsoring de Noarchrop Erve Averds MOonpbay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of For further information or nomination forms, please linking teaching and research. I think the Tent City dwellers, their few belongings and pets should have been relocated. Canada is a huge country, | am sure there is an acre or two somewhere? ...... The tent city people are modern day hippies and add colour to this drab, grey city of Toronto. -Karin Wiechmann, Toronto, Sept. 25, on The Toronto Star's (On-line) Speak-Out page. contact your college registrar or the Division of One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni ees c net eratmment House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor. Tel: (416) for extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- ing the link between teaching and research. 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca ESU NAW uISe MOINS calundorgna) ; The Underground The Undefended Border: TVO documentary series examines Canadian immigration Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Last Wednesday saw the premiere of a TVO production called The Undefended Border, a three part documentary dealing specifically with the recent changes in attitude towards the policing of Canadian immigration. Part two will continue tonight at 10 pm.. Each part is an hour long and deals with a different aspect of our country’s immigration controls. The first episode, Toughening Up, focused on the entry of immigrants into the country. Following the work of people at Pearson Airport and the Niagara border crossing, it gave some perspective on the dilemma of enforcing national security without becoming paranoid and accosting people’s rights. Providing a behind the scenes look at the ground- level work being done to monitor immigration, this documentary does not concern itself largely with the political or ethical issues that lie behind these realities. Rather, it lends the viewer insight on what kinds of cases are being dealt with on a daily basis, informing and shedding light on the events that go unnoticed by the public. It presents the tension and concerns of both the suspects and the immigration officers. ; The documentary also showed some interest- ing details as to their procedures: The testing of passports, the interviewing of suspected threats and the work of police officers in investigating illegal businesses that guarantee foreigners importation to Canada. Whether or not you will find any sympathy for either the border officers or the new immigrants is question- able, but you will certainly gain a better understanding of their respective positions. For instance last week’s installment looks at the interviewing techniques used by border officers in trying to determine who is lying to get in and who is being truthful. It is hard determining the path of a person’s life when you have little but their word and your gut feeling to act on. Tonight they will be showing the second part, Immigration Task Force, which follows Immigration Investigators, and the ITF, a small branch of the RCMP, as they hunt for illegal immigrants in Toronto. Viewers may be surprised to see the level of organiza- tion and execution that goes into the pursuit of sus- pects, especially since the reputation of Toronto as a haven for illegal immigrants would have most believe that no such efforts are being made. Next week the documentary will wrap up with part three: The End of the Line, which looks at the process of deportation. This section will continue to look at the police work in apprehending .and investi- gating suspects and the process of passing judgment on whether or not they will be permitted to stay. It is interesting to see how different people react to their deportation. Some are deported within a few days of their arrest while others are able to draw out their court Planet in Focus brings out the spirit of film fests Kevin Pighin Arts hearings for months. Most seem to take a surprisingly accepting attitude, either positively in adjusting to their change or in a sadder, fatalistic acceptance. The documentary also provides the depressing statistics on the amount of back-logged refugee cases clogging the court system. With thousands of cases left unresolved, the amount of manpower portrayed in the documentaries seems insufficient for the task. Yet it seems most of the actual enforcers of immigra- tion law are making fair progress. The real back log appears to come from the courts and the number of appeals cases. Many of the officers interviewed throughout seem to share a mind-set that the system is something that needs to be followed, and needs closer attention at the ground level. What with all the debate that’s gone back and forth between Canada and the U.S. about border security, it’s interesting to see how things actually work along the security checks. In the end two thoughts remain well grounded after watching the hard work of the men and women guarding our borders. Firstly, when you live along the longest undefended border in the world, you'll never be able to maintain the level of security you'd like. Secondly, the expression of a person facing deportation from Canada makes one thankful not to be facing the same. As a long time film buff championing independent films, | am relieved to now be able to turn on the TV and not hear anything about TIFF (the Toronto International Film Festival). This may seem strange, but the truth of the matter is that it has been a long time since TIFF has been a true film festival. A ‘festival’ is meant to give independent artists the chance to screen their work. ‘Festivals’ in their ideal form serve a very important function in this respect. They connect the art of film making to the public and negate the industry of film making, which is primarily concerned with profit. Since TIFF is so largely commercialized, so largely commodified, and, all things considered, just so large, financial responsibilities often outweigh artistic ones. With this in mind it was with great anticipation that | awaited the opening of the ‘Planet in Focus’ film festival that kicked off last Wednesday with a screening of ‘The Return of Navajo Boy’ from acclaimed director Jeff Spitz. The film opened at Innis College and was a co-presentation of the Toronto International Environmental Film and Video Festival and Hot Docs Canadian International Documentary Festival groups. Both groups combined efforts to create ‘Planet in Focus’, a five day festival showing films that'are not only insightful, artistic and dramatic, but that have actually contributed to social change. ‘Return of Navajo Boy’ chronicles a native community near a uranium mine. It was so pow- erful that it forced the U.S. Department of Justice and the Environmental Protection Agency to take action to rectify the situation occurring in that village. 37 more films promised the same level of insight, creativity, and power and included 12 Canadian Premiers, nine World Premiers, many talks, workshops, and other optional programming designed to engage the public, which often fol- lowed a screening. Of the many highlights, a talk from David Suzuki following the Gala presentation of ‘Britannia Beach’ at the Royal Cinema on Friday definitely topped my ‘must attend’ list, which brings me to my main point. Not only is the quality of the films greater, but such festivals are also more accessible in terms of cost and ticket availability. Remember those lines for TIFF tickets? No problem here. Remember the cost? Not a problem either! Individual tickets were issued at each screening, and full programming information was available at www.planetinfocus.org. Where as the average cost for a single screening at the TIFF was around $15, a festival pass for ‘Planet in Focus’ is only $35. Groundworks Wednesday, October 2, 2002 Christmas, Before, the, Divorce. by Jen Croswell Muffled anger travels through the vent like heat from the grey concrete basement the jail where my parents are locked by their hate I listen to every black word typewritten in capital letters on the air in my room held by the same morbid fascination that makes people slow down at car accidents. To stop myself from looking at that vent which seems to be the source of all evil I stare into the knob of my bedpost a shiny brass sphere of false sunlight in which a distorted version of me is trapped, her pupils dilated with innocence which was like some drug that kept me high through childhood and kept this pain away. As I come down I see the pot boiling over and the gifts in disguises meant to mask the truth sitting under the glare of those cursed red and green spots that cover up the nakedness of the tree with deception. And I try to print neatly and make my bed and I say to myself to God while watching the flickering lights of sugar Christmas specials that dissolve in my mouth, leaving a bitter aftertaste I say to myself to God please let them stay together it may be hell but I am getting used to it. ‘ nip mn ueuloronip cabunderera LA RR nItem CA Welcome to Groundworks. _ We're proud to bring you the first Groundworks of the new school year. For those of you who don’t know, Groundworks is the Underground’s showcase for creative-writing. If you’re an aspiring writer or poet (or just a hobbyist) and are looking for a chance to get your work printed, we'd love to help you. Groundworks isn't limited to poetry, we accept short fiction, and creative non-fiction. Keep your eye on the Underground for an upcoming feature article where we'll look into the different creative writing outlets available here on campus. We'll be looking at the different clubs and classes available for anyone interested in developing their craft. If you'd like to have your creative works printed in the Underground e-mail us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca to submit or Call 416-287-7054 to inquire. he's lived for her breath ey met in a park @ found him lying in the grass @, in her large hat ad bag under left arm ‘on chest, his shirt sks her @ do we do this? doesn’t think of an answer at’s the situation where are we and are we what are we looking for {summer 2002] The Underground Feature 10 _and Islam: While many of these’ Oth time to the West, and created an era of unequaled prosperity. So then we must one would not be hard-pressed to find ask ourselves: Is war necessary for the reports of religious conflicts resulting in advancement of our global society, or is profuse bloodshed and ghastly acts of it really just inane violence that poorly violence. Take for instance the Protestant © substitutes for our inability to relate toour and Roman Catholic discord in Ireland, fellow man? The 22nd World Religions or the attenuated antagonism between Conference convenes at the University Muslims and Hindus in Pakistan and of Waterloo on October 5" 2002 to India. These are all what we consider uncover the answer. world religions with teachings of peace Initiated by the Ahmadiyya Movement and love, yet when interpreted by the in Islam in May1981, the conference has less than perfect human intellect, they tackled such issues as human rights; apparently leave gaping loopholes to drug abuse; family values; racial, reli- advocate violence toward each other. gious and cultural tolerance; and twice How much of an influence do religions - before, in October 1989, and again in actually have, then, if their followers October 1993, that of war and peace. The upcoming conference will be the basis of convenience? 3" of its nature, the theme of discussion being, “Achieving World Peace: What benefits, nay o these bhanetee have Religions Can Do.” still the ba Hadhrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad ence and war poniniee to rip stitiessiG of Qadian India, the founder of the through the fabric of society. Currently, Ahmadiya Movement in 1889, believed the most conspicuous incidence of this that his Movement was “ the embodi- _ js the self-righteous War on Terrorism. In ment of the benevolent message of all a world where free markets and capital- the World religions; peace, universal ism are quickly becoming the pillars of brotherhood and submission to the will a new religion that looks to wealth and of God.” There is a strong belief in the power as the ultimate deity, is there power of religious interaction, with each really any hope for established religions denomination helping the others to widen to overcome the seductive sounds of the their knowledge of God, bringing humans _ world’s smallest violin? The fact remains closer to achieving harmony with one that despite being the most skillful orator, another. it is impossible to persuade someone if To this end the conference will host he/she refuses to listen. Even in Israel, BNC ‘religions; -Sikghigen, Bee Phen: one: mat tical Sancidet, lity. of these religions.in the global’. scheme of things. Over the past decade, oes word Pee choose to adhere to the doctrines on a While they offer magnanimous /d Peace the seemingly innate tendency of man to wage war and settle differences in a macabre display of murder, mutilation and massacre. After all it only takes one pebble to perpetrate ripnies throughout = the entire pond. In any case, the primary — ~~ task at hand would be to devise a way of bridging the gap between politics and religion, something which is enormously more difficult than perceived, in a society of science. Hopefully the World Religions Conference will be able to provide some answers to these questions or at least insight into the best eee toward Lionel Boodlal will be attending the World Religions Conference, this Saturday, October 5, to investigate fur- ther “what religions can do.” “For what can war but endless war still breed?” é - John Milton AR EE PARE DOR A IRL EL I SAG Sh SE NR RPh . 3 ‘ http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto. Re FN Supporting 271 art groups For grant information, call 1-800-398-1141 AS SEEN BY The Underground Reviews 8 women too many or (hey, where’s my gun?) Film: 8 Women Genre: Foreign Comedy/Mystery/Musical Starring: Catherine Deneuve, Isabelle Huppert, Emmanuelle Beart Director: Francois Ozon Producer: Focus Features Rating: Morgan Idris Little 8 Women is many things. Its a unique film, a comedy, a story about a family, a period piece and even a musical. Sadly, its also two hours of my life | will never get back again. A French filmmaker, named Francois Ozon, decided it would be a good idea to adapt a play written by a French playwright, named Robert Thomas, who in the 1950s had himself in turn thought it would be a good idea to write a musical murder mystery about a piecemeal extended family construed of neurotic harpies and predatorial succubi. | think they were both wrong. Murder mysteries are always a tricky business, especially the old style Agatha Christie-esque ones where a group of suspects are confined to a single environ while everyone suspects everyone else and someone sleuths away until the end credits are ready to roll. That’s a difficult formula to make entertain- ing by itself and is normally best accomplished by a bunch of Brits working in the old masterpiece theatre style. Sadly Ozon and Thomas further complicated that potentially dull formula into something certainly Film: Moonlight Mile agonizing by tossing out the English language and turning it into a musical. God help us all. The cast itself however seemed to have a very good time. |’m glad someone did. Reading like a veritable who’s who of French cinema, the ensem- ble, led by Catherine Deneuve and highlighted by Emmanuelle Beart (sexy french chick from The Doors and Mission Impossible, YUM!) are wasted on this instant classic. Sadly all musical films are instant classics in some form or another because there are so few of them. Given the absurdity of the contrived situation of 8 women, trapped by snow ina mansion in which one of them has presumably killed the husband/father of the piece, it is no wonder that so many of the performances in this film start out as masterful and quickly devolve into cartoonish folly. This debacle is not aided by the lame choreog- raphy of the ‘dancing’ or the awkward blocking of the scenes. The dancing comes out of nowhere, in true musical, camp fashion and the actresses quickly butcher what was already haphazard and inconsis- tent choreography as they croon away. This should come as no surprise because let’s face it, most of the cast aren’t exactly spring chickens anymore and no doubt many a slipped disc plagued this production. The blocking was so terrible that it seemed to have been lifted directly from a stage production of a show. There was no scene in which | did not want to leap ‘on stage’ and move people about into semi-believ- able positions. We are reminded time and time again that these women are actresses and not singers whenever they favour us with another tone-deaf show tune, this sort of thing gets tired when your ears start to bleed into your popcorn. Perhaps my bias is one of language, although | did follow the action of the film (what there was of it) as well as | could and have in the past enjoyed French films, such as Brotherhood of the Wolf. Perhaps this movie needed more kung-fu know- ing native Indians to put some annoying neurotic creatures through a few windows and into the tack- ily painted scenery beyond. | also frequently enjoy Chinese language films that don’t send me away praying for merciful death. Not even fascinating side-themes like incest and lesbianism could save this film from sucking. Strange since one seldom sees a problem that couldn't be saved by a little lesbianism. My father really digs Catherine DeNeuve; her onscreen kiss with another woman is frightening and humorous. The other observation | framed during this film that | can’t seem to shake loose was the fact that all the French women in this piece have huge mouths! | will surely have bad dreams about big, French, toothy grins coming to eat me up. The funniest moment of the film is when a mel- ancholy husband blows off his own head rather than hear another thing from the 8 tempestuous women plaguing his life. This is bittersweet however, but at that point in the film you have already been fantasiz- ing about your own death and it seems unfair that he gets to go and you don’t. 8 Women is possibly the finest French device of terror since the guillotine. Genre: Romance Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Hoffman, Susan Sarandon Director: Brad Siberling Producer: Touchstone Pictures Rating: Dustin Christian Lucier | can honestly say that | see big things hap- pening for this picture. | am talking Oscar nods, maybe even Oscar take-homes. Moonlight Mile is a magnificent tale of one young man’s trials and tribulations in maturing into his true self. Seeing this movie is time well spent. Not only does the plot keep unfolding right until the end of the picture, but the performances are authentic and the soundtrack kicks ass! It was bloody well time a movie of this caliber was released in the theatres. Most importantly though, | am delighted to say that Russell Crowe is not in it. The plot in Moonlight Mile is pretty damn creative. Joe Nast (Jake Gyllenhaal) is at a bit Ss of a crossroad. His fiancée Diana Floss (Careena Melia) has recently been murdered and he quickly becomes a pillar of strength for Diana’s parents, Ben (Dustin Hoffman) and Jojo Floss (Susan Sarandon). Ben and Jojo take Joe into the family, without his consent, and Joe embarks on a life with the Flosses. However, Joe knows a lot more about Diana then we wants to let her family in on and these secrets are bril- liantly revealed through the rest of the movie. The performances in Moonlight Mile are phenom- enal. Dustin Hoffman plays the role of the disgruntled father to a tee. His frustration towards his daughter’s death painfully screams out at the viewer. The scene where Hoffman visits the restaurant where his daugh- ter was murdered, in particular, is incredibly emo- tional. To see Hoffman ask the waitress which stool his daughter was sitting at when she was shot and killed really pulls the old heartstrings. Hoffman also has great chemistry with newcomer Jake Gyllenhaal. The two shine during the beginning stages of their awkward bumbling father/son relationship. | haven't seen Susan Sarandon perform with such enthusiasm since Dead Man Walking. Her take on the new age, cool, “totally with it? Mom is completely genuine. Sarandon manages to portray courage and strength, and is still able to subtly deliver signs of weakness and despair. Good show. Most important though, is the performance of Jake Gyllenhaal. It is nice to see a young actor give a performance that comes off so naturally. Jake Gyllenhaal is Joe Nast. He looks, acts, and carries himself as a young man who cannot come to terms with the world; a man who is incapable of making choices on his own, a flaw which inhibits him from finding his true destination. Keep an eye out for Gyllenhaal. Moonlight Mile is worth the ten bucks. It is one of those dysfunctional family movies where the charac- ters hit rock bottom, but then manage to overcome their hardships. A lot of thought when into this flick, from the awesome soundtrack, with the killer song “Moonlight Mile” by the Stones, to the family dog Nixon and his battles with feline nemesis Fay Ray. Hoffman, Sarandon, and Gyllenhaal will all probably be taken into consideration for Academy Awards, as movies like this one don’t come around that often. Not only does Moonlight Mile have something to say, but also it has its own way of saying it. Bottom line: Mesmerizing Mile. ar arars iutse Gig cae -undergnd/ | Life Canada's a professional poe Wednesday, October 9 from 12:30-1 30 p.m. Room TBA ~ The Canadian College of N aturopathic Medicine 1255 Sheppard Ave.E., Toronto, ON M2K 1E2 (416) 498-1255 ext.245 1-866-241-2266 info@ccnm.edu www.ccnm.edu _ Vcr http:/Awww.utsc.dtéronto.ca/~tindergnd)* Wednesday, October 2, 2002 Villagers in Wonderland Geoff Micks . Life Editor Nine in the a.m. on a Saturday is usu- ally a time of peaceful slumber in UTSC’s residences, oftentimes assisted by gen- erous quantities of alcohol consumed the night prior. So, it was a bit surprising to look at the front of the Student Village Centre and see a large crowd of students gathering. The students stood sullen and cold, eager to get to Paramount Canada’s Wonderland, but wondering if the buses would ever arrive. There was some confusion as to the departure time, namely that the advertised time was set thirty minutes early to ensure everyone arrived on-time. Chris Warmington, a first year computer science student, was par- ticularly outraged at the trickery, saying, “Jesus Christ, | could have had another half hour of sleep.” Sensing the crowd’s_ concern, Residence Advisor Dan Savoie announced, “We're leaving in T minus five minutes. We're just waiting for the last stragglers to come in. After that, if they don’t show up, they didn’t show up.” Later Dan admitted that the early start time did not play well with him either. “I hate early mornings. | hate them in a big, ugly way.” Still, starting early is the best way to avoid line ups for roller coasters, and sacrifices have to be made in the name of fun. The Links are a group of approxi- mately thirty second-year students who ease first-year students into university life. To this end they worked hard to sell this trip to the student body. An ambi- tious poster blitz, combined with door to door endorsements and word of mouth, sold ninety-five tickets to both campus residents and nonresident students. Each ticket cost $25, twenty-one going towards the Park entrance fee and four more defraying the cost of the buses. Anyone who wished to use their season pass or their own car was excluded from the appropriate portion of the price. Unlike high-school trips to the zoo, museum, or art gallery, students were not required to stay together. The only coor- dinated effort to involve everyone was an attempt to fill one of the Top Gun trains entirely with UTSC students. The group moved from the two buses, through the gates, and descended en masse into the Top Gun line up, easily filling a train with overflow into the preceding and following cars. Veterans of Frosh week chanted, “Attitude Check One: Scarborough!” much to the surprise of park staff, other visitors, and students who were without the benefit of a cup of coffee. Ninety-five students broke into three and four person groups, quickly scatter- ing across the park, running into each other for meals and rides. Cell phones kept friends in touch, and people recog- nized one another by their U of T gear. Several students took to screaming, “Scarborough!” From the pinnacle of each rollercoaster. The bonds between Links and frosh are still strong; Nick Hermann caught his Link, Chris Bourque, in a bear hug, and then cursed a blue streak upon finding that he had dried off from his four con- secutive runs through the Timber Wolf Falls water ride. He later explained his motivation, “| wanted to soak my Link. The genera! opinion in our house is that he’s all wet.” The only comment Chris wanted to put on the record was, “Whoa. That’s intense.” There were other interesting cases over the course of the day; due to a pre- vious gambling commitment, Tom Walker did not show up until 2:00 p.m.. Despite having only three hours before the buses departed, Tom still managed to ride five rollercoasters and eat an overpriced lunch. When this was pointed out to him, his boisterous reply was, “That's true. | rule.” Another example of an out of the ordi- nary way to pass the day can be found in the actions of Mike Scott, President of the Scarborough Computer Science Association. Mike took the advice of a knowledgeable friend and chose to read James Clavell’s opus, Shogun, while waiting in line for rides. “It’s not bad so far.” He shrugged, when asked how the book was turning out. “It’s kind of hard getting serious reading done.” A final window into the day’s fun can be found with Nick Hermann and Chris Warmington’s antics. Nick said, “It was Shannon's first visit to an amusement park, so we were trying to freak her out. We'd say, oh, only two guys ever died on this one.” The two laugh. A fond memory has been born. The day ended at five, though those who wished to stay longer could do so on the understanding that transportation home would be their own problem. The same crowd of people, exhausted at nine and now further drained at five, gath- ered on the grass beneath a street light. Asking froshies how they enjoyed the day produced a mixed bag of answers. Stephanie Bird of Internationa! Studies said, “I feel sick.” Eli Purchase gave a silent and exhausted thumbs up. He later found the strength to add. “I won't be doing much drinking tonight.” The crowd grew irritable as it became clear that Dan Savoie, the man who told them to show up at nine, instead of nine-thirty, eight hours earlier, was about to be late getting back to the bus-stop. Nick Hermann slapped the palm of his hand with his midway prize. “If Dan the Don is late, I’m going to club him over the head with a [stuffed toy] ci uck's ass.” When Dan arrived, one minute and six seconds after five, he was soi filly struck twice with a yellow plush toy named ’ Buckwheat. As for Dan himself, he told Heather Marshall, “I had a great cay.” Nick Hermann waved good-bye the park, saying “Adios, Wonderland.” “s the bus left the parking lot and the pony moun- tain fell away into the disia ce, Chris Warmington voiced the general senti- ment, “That was a great day. 13 The Underground Rebooting Computer Science at Scarborough Chet Tolstoy The Computer Science community at this campus is not a closely knit community. When you think of Computer Science students, people assume the worst; nerds that spend all their time on their computers, mastering Windows 2000 and playing Counterstrike. What is even worse is what they think of the curriculum. Computer Science does not garnish enough respect from the rest of the students. When people say they are taking Computer Science at University, they mostly get this response: “Good... Now you can help me fix my computer’. This is not the case at all. The required mathematics and statistic courses make the Computer Science curriculum very challenging. Nonetheless, Computer Science students do not seem to be discour- aged by the community's misconceptions, as they are well aware that their reward is waiting after graduation. Despite the apparent “competition” between Computer Science students, there are still plenty of people who are willing to make friends, network and share ideas. However, it is very difficult to do this when most people are dashing out of their classes to go home. What Computer Science students need is a uni- fied body if they wish to interact. Comp. Sci. students at Erindale have their own club; the St. George campus has an official student union for their programme. The Scarborough campus, on the other hand, has very little. The now defunct Computer Science Club that resides within the school is more or less a ghost. Most of its executives graduated last spring without re-staffing their club for this year. This disunity has prompted the resurrection of the Computer Science Club. Having an academic club for a programme brings all sorts of benefits to its students. It provides a forum for students to meet each other and their professors. Two sécond year Computer Science students, Michael Scott and Andrew Paranczuk (with collaboration from some of the graduated executives of the former club) have managed to breathe new life into the Computer Science Club. The club is now known as the Scarborough Computer Science Association and the two are quickly working to recruit members to get the club up and running. The SCSA was formed this past week, after the pair learned that there was no one running the club this year. The club will have to play catch-up if it wants to succeed in its first year. Vice President Andrew Paranczuk says, “We are liter- ally building from the ground up. We have to rebuild everything the old club had, and surpass it. We have to reestablish links with the professors, the Computer Science division and, most importantly, the students.” Although it seems difficult, the two are grateful for the support they are receiving. Andrew adds, “We appreciate all who are willing to help. Some students are really into the idea, and we really appreciate that the former executives are willing to help.” In fact, two students who graduated last year, Peter Rogers and Greg Czyzykowski are willing to contribute as much as they can. “It’s great to have Greg and Peter helping out. Since they’ve gone through the entire program, their experience and knowledge is a great asset to the club and its members”. The SCSA has many great ideas they are willing to put forward. “We want to have as much as fun as all the other clubs out there... maybe more,” Michael adds. The SCSA plans on hold- ing movie nights, guest speakers from corporations, gaming tournaments and counseling sections to help struggling programmers. For more information, or to join the resurrection of computer science oriented activities on campus, con- tact the Scarborough Computer Science Association at their brand new website at http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/ Become a Dye res of NIWA O@NS CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGE Chiropractic. NYCC Offers: * Preparation for US & Canadian Board Exams that result in successful passage and high scores. ¢ Achoice of yearlong clinical experience at the college's three off-site Chiropractic Health Centers. ¢ A flexible Chiropractic curriculum with electives in Sports, tae management, pediatrics and geriatrics. Learn more about chiropractic careers, the NYCC doctoral prog ram and meet: Amy Hiserodt _ Admissions Re peselatve University of Toronto at Scarborough * Scarhorouch. ON Wednesday, October 9th © 11:00 am — 2:00 pm Meeting Place, 2nd Level S-Wing Contact the Admissions Office at NYCC for more information at 1-800-234-6922 or visit www.nycc.edu. 2360 Route 89 « Seneca Falls New York 13148 httpNinWw tse Sutéronto:éal~dridergrid/ Life Nocturnal Street Whores On Rez Julie “The Carebear" Harper & Sophie “Braveheart” Nicholson w/ guest writers C. Schultz and A. Mitoulas O.K. Here's the deal... This is a collaborative article that includes opinions of those interviewed, the whole process having required three boxes of Kleenex to com- plete the re-telling these tales of woe- PSYCH! ( The opinions expressed in the following article are those of the participants and do not necessarily reflect those of the general student body. However, they do they reflect those opinions of the Nocturnal Street Whores.) Are you sick of telling your boyfriend that he is “ Out faster than free beer at a frat party”? Follow these twelve scenarios and decide on the perfect termination for that not-so-perfect relationship, that needs to be a! like, now. 1. “The Call-Answer (Answering Machine Optional) Method”. For those of you who cower behind the receiver of a phone, this technique might suit you best. Important note: you should purchase call display so you never have to deal with his endless babble of “"Why, Why and Why”? This method might seem spineless, but it will free up your time and besides that you're already receiving phone calls from your new ‘special friend’. 2. “The Kick to the Curb””. This procedure should only be implemented in extreme circumstances such as: no jewelry, jealousy, lack of coitus and general Asshole-ness. Step 1: Collect ‘all clothing and personal items (only the ones you don’t want!) of this foul dribbling fool and proceed to toss them out the window to the Curb - hence the title. Step 2: Gather aS many people as possible to laugh and ridi- cule him, until such a time as he is belittled and totally pitiful. Bonus points for tears. Note: Beware of the knee and carefully stretch before vigorous tossing. 3. “"The No Show”. Like the “Baby on the door-step routine”, this invelves little to no contact with your soon to be Ex. You get a dirty worn-out box, fill it full of your man’s belong- ings, go to his place, ring his doorbell and leave; make + sure to leave that all important “Dear Jon” note explain- ing your decision to split, and the fact that you have recently taken out a restraining order on him - the sick fuck. So STAY AWAY! 4. “The Triple-Play””. This procedure must take place on a weekend to be effective. You start out with a phone call inviting him out for a night on the town. Please be sincere and seductive, as this will make the sting of the break-up last longer. Let him know you will meet him at a par- ticular nightclub. The catch is you show-up with your next unsuspecting victim. When you introduce them to one another, your now ex is bound to get the idea and bounce (meaning leave). 5. “The Romp and Stomp””. “He is so dumb...... But fuck he has a nice body. | mean hey! He's the best lay I’ve ever had”. What to do, what to do, what to do? Follow these simple easy steps: Step 1: Purchase Dildo. Step 2: Have crazy sex and let him ‘fuck your brains out’. Step 3: Okay...... Say: You're great, but | don’t think we have much in common (translation: You're a blundering idiot and | only stayed with you for your ‘technique’). Step 4: Break out the dildo and find an even better replacement. Note # 1. Call him by an Ex’s name while you climax. Note # 2. If you do not find a good enough replacement, use him for casual sex. 6. “Convert - to a Nun that is”. Reach an epiphany about God? Want to get down and religious? Well regardiess of your answers, use them to lull your man into thinking that you are joining the Convent. It's a simple equation: No Sex = It’s Over. You'll never hear from him again and the world will make sense once. 7. “ Reverse Psychology Method”: For those in drama this will come easier than for others, with the exception of those with natural talent. So you've acted innocent all throughout your relation- ship, now its time to unleash the freak inside. First the 2003 Awards of IEXCE LLENCE UNEVE RS PTY OF aT ORONTO The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. curricular student life on campus. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. Wednesday, October 2, 2002 purchase a pair of fishnet stockings, a short, black, leather mini-skirt, and a dog collar with spikes. Gel-up your ever kewl blue hair and wear your new attire for a night out with his folks. Inform them of your spanking fetish fulfilled by their son’s drive for perfection. Your momma's boy will be left speechless and disgraced, but have enough air to say, “We should see other people”. This takes both blame and stress off your hands and out of the bedroom. 8. “"Ooops...... | did it Again”: Regardless of the authenticity of any one of the pre- ceding statements, and your bond or lack thereof with your ex(s) you can use them to terminate the relation- ship: A) First ask him what his plans are for next Friday, because you have an appointment at ‘The Clinic’. This will send off retreat signals in his head. B) Say “I am late, but its not your fault - Get it?” C) “I’ve been to the Doctor., it’s confirmed, but don’t freak; it’s not yours”. D) “Will you come with me to the clinic, or should | call the father?” All of these are suitable to use. He will understand and leave. Note: Actual pregnancy is optional. For the purposes of this scenario it is used as a boy deterrent. 9. “Not the Man | thought you were/ | still have feelings for my Ex”: Walk up to your guy and say, “ | thought you were a man. | thought you had a spine, but it turns out | was wrong. You are a fucking coward who bends over back- wards for everyone. And on top of that you didn’t hit my ‘soft spot’ - Powerful you were not!” Or tell him, “ Honey | am sorry but my Ex was suppose to be in for 10-15 years, but got early parole. | thought it was over, but have you ever seen a man coming out of jail? They have nothing else to do but work-out-Understand?” 10. “The Houdini”: The easiest technique of them all is avoidance. Act as though you have dropped off the face of the earth - at least as far as your man is concerned. Just don’t respond to any contact/communications, etc... “Do you hear anything? | think not”. Yes. Now you understand. 11.“ STD for you and me”: We are well aware that it is not funny or amusing to joke about STDs as they affect millions of people world- wide, however this is a last resort sorta thing. What you do is get a close friend of yours to phone your guy pretending to be the ‘Health Office’. Tell them to ask your boy- who by this point is nervous- ‘Whether he has been sexually active, with you, in the past 6 months’. Remember to avoid laughter. He will eventually make his way to his General Practitioner and seeing that he is STD free will avoid you like the plague. Honestly do you really want him singing “Benny and the Clap, Clap, Clap”. This verse is a take-off of Benny and the Jets by Elton John. Note: In order for this to work, you must be STD free. 12. “ The Sting”: The key to this is your buddy’s acting ability, so follow these steps carefully. Step 1: Pre-arrange with a friend to jump in and make out with the guy in question. Step 2: Ask the guy to come over to your residence room. Step 3: Strategically place your housemate in the living room with your boyfriend, and tell him LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTs PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University you are going to the washroom. Step 4: During the time away your friend will kiss your man and you will ‘accidentally’ walk in on them. Step 5: Take your friends side and kick his ass out. | mean how could he make out with another giri, let alone your housemate and friend? Disclaimer: None of the preceding situations have actually occurred. Well that is what we wanted you to think, but this is all personal expe- rience. How else could we know? Our weekly words of wisdom: When your boy's in a huff. Get him to lick your muff (safety first, think dental dam). Rants The Underground SESS When last week’s issue of the Underground came out, we were contacted by a number of people who wanted to write columns, and not just any kind of columns either. They all wanted to write Rant Columns. We haven't got the faintest idea what these people want to go on at length about... but we've decided to feature two angry, bile-ridden diatribes here this week. Over the next couple of issues, we will feature more ranting students (maybe even a ranting faculty- member if we can find one) and at the end of it all we will select two columnists to write rant columns'on a bi-weekly basis (with the help of your feedback, dear readers.) Have you got something to get off your chest? Send us your Rant Column now, before we choose someone else! mail to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca What's Wrong with the World!? a rant, by Alison Maier | saw the add for new columnists in the paper and after the shock of realizing that Scarborough Campus had a paper wore off, | realized that even though I’m not an angry feminist, | still have something to offer. | have been keeping this “something” a secret for a while now, but | think it's time to let the world know. You see, | was born all knowing. That's right, | was born with the gift of being right about everything. | compare it to the way that Martha Stewart can answer any question thrown at her, even if it is sometimes the fifth amendment. | can always tell you exactly what's wrong with world, and sure some might say that’s just being opinionated, but the difference is that I'm always right. | hope that you sense some sarcasm here, because if you don’t you probably won't enjoy my articles, but hey you can’t please everyone. So | invite you to come along with me on a journey of cathartic complaining; who knows along the way we might even find some solutions, but don’t hold out too much hope! Hey! I'm talking fo you. Yes you, the one slowly meandering through the hall stopping every five metres to discuss the premiere of Friends with that life long friend you met two days ago. Please don't get me wrong, it’s not that | don’t care about the fate of Rachel's life, | just wish that you people would move to the side to debate such matters. This way, people who are foolishly rushing to class, appointments or just do not wish to walk at the pace of Abraham threw the desert, can get were they‘re going without aggravation. Unfortunately this phenomenon is not merely confined fo the hallways of the world. No, I'm sorry to say that it appears in malls, on sidewalks and who could ignore those Sunday drivers who live in the left lane? Wherever there are people in a hurry, you can rest assured that there will be three people leisurely walking abreast of one another right next to that old lady with the walker. Why just the other day as | was waiting for a ride in the circular drive of our own distinguished institution | was witness to such an event. | watched as cars had fo pull moves that rivaled those of Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious to avoid two girls standing in the middle of the driveway discussing the line up at the book store. Now | must agree that | too think that the line ups were far too long, especially for someone as impatient as me, but this discussion could have been just as meaningful five metres to their right, on the path. | think that the worst part of this rampant problem is that the offenders are clue less. They are so self absorbed that they don’t seem to realize that their actions are effecting many around them. For example the above two girls just kept nattering, not knowing how many times they were close to be road kill. They didn’t move until their conversation was done. It didn’t matter that fifty cars were inconvenienced in the process, what mattered is that they did what they wanted. So please, let's try and make life a little easier for everyone by just “pulling” over when something more than “hi” needs to be said. Because, after all we all know how important your new pair of shoes is, jUst not as long as it holds me up. - The Editorial Board i don’t have a name, just a number. a rant, by reena sirohi passing by with their vacant eyes and brains stuffed full to capacity. desperately trying to retain all of the floating words they just grabbed from the air... from the mouths of the wise ones. it’s necessary, to obtain the right numbers, the ones that will get them to the next level (on the right path _ to where they need to be where you say they need to be). write, highlight, underline, tape record, download, ask, read, read read read, but how can i do more? i need to do more. i have a goal. | will become your version of an important human being. mission, only one thing In mind and that Is to succeed. life isn’t life anymore, it’s Just an accomplishment waiting to happen. one that must be attained even if it may drain out your soul, your character, your curious innocent mind. push aside your thoughts and feelings, void yourself of all emotion, forget your fucking name, because you’re nobody until you have the right position/career/house/car. never let yourself remember who you once where, but only what you will be. that high rank in society, that pride, that feeling of respect. knowing that all that you have acquired makes those around you accept you (since acceptance Is obviously the most important thing In this world of ours). fet’s make a trade, I'll give you all of the knowledge in the world if you let me suck out your personality? that is what you’re here for isn’t it? (hl my name Is 991000144 and I’m here to become important). alone amongst the scholars, | think I'd rather live and feel and experience, than Join the mindless drone. I’d rather step outside of the lines. i'd rather separate from the crowd. | want to be special too, | want to be important just like everyone else does, but | still want to be me when - If - | get there. is this how It’s supposed to be? | watch you walk down the hallways with your books In your hand, the empty look in your eyes. | watch you learn, and it scares me. you are becoming more and more like a textbook, rather than a human. is there anything beyond the Information you are storing? are there people in those eyes anymore? because you’re making me sad... please just stop and breathe. Problem-solvers Each week, here at the Underground, the UTSC Problem Solving Initiative will take some time out of their busy schedules to extricate you from any problems that you, the average student or faculty member are too stupid (or ignorant!) to solve yourself. Our expert team will provide advice and we'll print the answers right here for everyone to see (don’t worry, we won't print your name). So if you have a problem, some query, quandary, or pickle of any kind, please send it to: make _jt_ stop@baldandsexy.com. (by the way, this is a real address and we encourage any feedback or, as we said, problems you might have). Dear UPSI, I’m having an awful time in residence at UTSC. My housemates hate me, and I’m having a really hard time meeting anyone new. Is there anything | can do? “Frieda” Dear Frieda, Living on residence can be a very frustrating, but poten- tially fantastic and genuinely rewarding experience if you go about it the right way and have the right attitude. Now let’s look at this situation closely. We don’t think you’d be having so much of a problem “meeting” people if you were just putting out more. Yeah, you heard us. Your housemates don’t like you anyways, right? So you don’t really have a lot to worry about in terms of waking them up in the middle of the night with the sound of moaning coming from your room, not to mention the rhythmic (some might say ‘soothing’) sound of your head banging against the wall. I believe it was Ice Cube who said it best: “You can do it, put your ass into it.” Put your ass into it. Profound words. But make sure you put a vest on that jimmy! ¢ UPSI 3 | 1S King’s College Circte i Queen's Park sutrwsy stop: Books old and new All topics Great prices New stock daily Friday Oct 18 | 12 noon t 8 pm » $2 adrnission* | Saturday Oct 19 | Dam te Spm $1 admission* | Sunday Oct 20 12 noon fo 8 pm Monday Oct 21 12 noon to 8 pm Tuesday Oct 22 12 noon to 8 pm | * Students FREE with ID informusticns 816973848572 Proceeds sseguet thes 18> bbecery iter ond ousgior creeds cords aingsest httey{waowetso utaronity cahwuadergredtt Wednesday, October 2, 2002 UPSI is Sachin Hingoo, Katie Pettit and Chris McKinnon Dear UPSI, If you guys are so smart, what are your thoughts on organized religion? “Steve” Dear Steve, Our thoughts, to summarize, Organize the FUCK off my lawn. stare, UPSI are this: People are starting to Dear UPSI, Help! My baby is playing with a toaster! IN THE BATHTUB! Mommy Dearest Dear Mommy, First thing: Calm down. That “desperate parent” thing worked fine, and to hilarious ends in “Three Men and a Baby”, but this is real life dammit, so get yourself together! You need to lay down some ground rules from the get-go. You are letting your child walk all over you, and it has to stop. Any advice columnist will tell you that your child needs clear boundaries, and discipline. For once we agree. Lay down the law early on, so that the kid knows “who’s the boss”, and doesn’t go around thinking that s/he can do whatever s/he wants without consequence. By the way, what’s that burning smell? UPSI Essay Servi Need tutoring help with your essays? Highly qualified graduates will help with essay research, interactive editing, proposals and winning applications. ESL students welcome. (416) 280-6113 or customessay@sprint.ca Wanna be a columnist? 47 Diversions This week dear readers, | was a busy little bee. It seems taking four English courses in one semester is beginning to catch up with me and | am up to my ears in “required readings’. Somehow though, | manage to remain a master of wasting time and procrastinating, so all | accom- plished by Friday, the deadline for the submission of this column, was a few of the more fun sounding “optional readings” and the recruiting of my house- mate Ayshia Degia to what | shall now call team diversion. She was enthusiastic to join, and will be an asset to everyone's diversionary fun. But that’s not what this weeks column is about. This week we will be discussing the joys of treasure hunt- ing in the comfort of your own home. (Get those thoughts out of your head, the dirty word search is over!) Friday morning | found myself sitting in the living room wondering what sort of excitement | could pull together to distract you all from your more scholarly pursuits. The more time passed, the blanker my mind became, until, almost uncon- sciously, my hands slipped into that dark scary region of the couch, between the seat of the couch, and the back of it. | felt something. Not one of those internal, emotional feelings, but an actual physical object, lodged in the depths of the couch. Bravely, | pulled the object into the light. It was a caramilk bar! Melted all to shit, and in a somewhat random shape, but a foil wrapped, never-been- opened Caramilk bar just the same. This excited me more than anyone could possibly understand, but better yet, it sparked my curiosity...What else was hidden in the depths of the couch? And so began the Great Treasure Hunt of 2002. | reached in again, and before | knew it, my hand came across another treasure. It was a pillowcase, one that had been missing in action for quite some time, and was actually presumed stolen. Next | discovered a random black sock. Then | found a neatly rolled up pair of black socks. And then | found two more black socks, bringing the GUCCI * ALFRED SUNG « GIORGIO ARMANI grand total to two and a half pairs of black socks. Reaching my hand between cushions had never before proven so lucrative. By this time the excite- ment level in the house had risen exponentially. Ayshia joined me in the search of the couch, and together we spent a great deal of time reaching between the cushions, speculating how those ‘treasures’ got into our couch, and who they could possibly have belong to, since clearly (with the exception of the pillowcase and the socks) none of it belonged to us.. including the abovementioned items, we nS three (3) black pens. ‘« one (1) blue seit : aU a yellow crayon ex-boyfriétid’s, lip. thumbtack 9 # pink paperclip piece of: grass marijuaria rolling paper © en a a sixteen (16) cents ie rca error chewed uj ‘stir. oie elastic band ™ one (1) piece of tase: While our time could probably have been spent doing better things, like reading those required readings (or in my case, actually going to class,) we were more than pleased to divert ourselves with our at-home treasure hunt. We imagine that many of you would be too. So, the next time you get bored at home on a rainy day, and are feeling brave about who has been sitting on your couch lately, we implore you to go on an in-home treasure hunt. It could prove thrilling, and it will surely take up a bunch of your precious time. And that is what this is really all about. ra' CENTENARY OPTICAL a For a g Detter z ©. a | Reg. $99..... LL http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ * Eye Exams Arranged * FREE Daily Wear Sphere Contact Lenses when you buy a pair of eyeglasses (Frame & Lenses) at our regular price. * Daily Wear Sphere Contact Lenses View of the World Now $59! * GUESS Wednesday, October 2, 2002 Lisle Kelly (with illustration by Ayshia Degia) gp ee eree 19 DOWNLOAD / RIP _HIGH SPEED TRANSFER PLAY ANYWHERE! Filéje) SOSsel ellejreeil mritisie trepisiae Pertaole, eltiraole eiriel sicio-rrae. c lS2\¢ clicjiceyl cocorchiric], Srjerecs terre lee VIB) Wel cericig) cecorcclar FLOM OMY, Je5 be Ons Wey co Oleyl wiyusonyotylace/iinicioe Cleric), the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE ae GNGEV TE RST T Yo OF oO Renee Applications are now being accepted for the JOHN H. Moss SCHOLARSHIP A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded to a graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca SeLRROUHLO sees = ctober, 002 = Scarborough Campus Students’ Union S cS | Bl a ae scsu@utsc.utoronto.ca The 2002-2003 meeting schedule for the SCSU Board of Directors is as follows: Friday, October 11, 2002, 11am, room S-403 Friday, October 25, 2002, 10am, room S-403 Friday, November 8, 2002, 10pm, room S$-403 Wednesday, November 20, 2002, 5pm, room S-403 Friday, December 6, 2002, 10pm, room S-403 EDUCATION CANADA TN A i © ne =O a | ENGLISH, FRENCH or SPANISH TESOL CERTIFICATE PROGRAM Tuesday, January 7, 2003, 6pm, room S-403 Wednesday, January 22, 2003, 12pm, room S-403 Tuesday, February 4, 2003, 6pm, room S-403 Tuesday, February 11, 2003, 6pm, room S-403 Tuesday, March 4, 2003, 6pm, room S-403 Wednesday, March 19, 2003, 12pm, room S-403 Tuesday, April 1, 2003, 6pm, room S-403 The 2002 Annual General Meeting of the SCSU membership is on Wednesday, November 27, 2002, 5pm, in room S-403. ALL STUDENTS ARE INVITED TO ATTEND OWNS Coq ey Ne] =e =). (oda Ny ce] od A] =} Learn Any Language Simply by Teaching Yours in Exchange 22 Wellesley St East 416 960 4602 www.educationcanadacollege.com Hey! See all this white space? Your Ad could be here... Contact our Advertising Manager, Pierre Tredille for more information. mail to: tredille@hotmail.com Wednesday, October 9, 2002 The Ranting continues... Students vent on p. 1 4 Textbooks: Veronica Lo gets the scoop on outrageous prices and new editions p 5 9 Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters P.4 Events Listings P.19 Opinion p.6 Safer Outer Lot Parking P. 12 SCSU Elections - Candidates’ Forum p.7 Getting into Robarts Library p.12 Tim Hortons opens p.8 Bugbear worm hits computers p.8 Columns Weekly Haiku p.5 Frog in My Throat p.6 Nocturnal Street Whores on Rez p.1 3 Rants p.14 Problem-solvers P.17 Diversions p.18 Arts Interview: Bob Martin p.1 0 CBC's 120seconds.com p.1 0 Reviews pg.11 Film - The Tuxedo Film - The Red Dragon Cover photo: Chris McKinnon Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ :/Iwww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground _U of T could be the community of tomorrow... Drugs. Those vile substances that can alter your consciousness, turn you into a junky and a failure, and, in short, ruin your life. Maybe you think I’ve seen one too many after- school specials, but God bless the American television networks’ war on drugs and alcohol. It really seems that more and more families are being pulled apart by drug abuse nowadays. All you have to do is turn on an episode of COPS to see drug-addled mothers and fathers destroying their children’s lives; and if that isn’t enough to convince you that drugs are a moral plague on our society, then just go for a walk through any park in Toronto, after dark. You'll find packs of homeless crack-fiends and injection- drug users ambling through the dewy grass, in search of their next fix. How are these people to become productive meznbers of society? What will we do if they decide to have children? I, for one, will not stand idly by and watch so many of my fellow human beings throw their lives away for a few cheap thrills with a needle or some inhalant. As concerned citizens, we have all got a responsibility to join the fight against illicit drugs. You never know when drugs will turn an innocent user bad; you never know when a junkie will attack. The only option here is a pre-emptive strike: Not only should all of these miserable substances be banned, and the dealers of them imprisoned, but harsh jail-terms should be applied to anyone caught using them. Jail-terms will serve not only as a deterrent to drug-use (especially in the case of Ecstasy, GHB and Ketamine, those pesky club-drugs that have suddenly become popular), but they will give chronic users a chance to “get clean” in an environment where drugs are not available. It is clear that we should lobby all levels of government to pour more funding into drug enforcement. Policing and community education will work hand-in-hand to keep drugs out of the hands of our children, friends and family-members. A great place to start this course of education is here, at our own university. The University of Toronto is a pillar of Canadian society. As such, we can set an example for other universities, high schools and middle schools to follow. We already have a zero-tolerance policy on the books with regard to drug-use on campus. It becomes clear that we must take this a step farther if we are to be truly forward-thinking. We must institute mandatory drug-testing of all students, faculty and staff. We must demonstrate that we will not tolerate drug-users in this community; we will show that we have conviction, values and clear moral guidelines for members of our community. But we should not stop there! We should be confident of the moral high-ground we occupy, and we should cease all research currently being conducted on controlled and illicit substances. In this very school there are studies being conducted on the effects of MDMA and ecstasy, cocaine and who knows what else. These trials and research must be terminated immediately. Given our determination that no one should be taking these drugs, it is not necessary to conduct research on them. Faculty, staff and students who admit to having ever used drugs must be dismissed immediately and drugs charges must be laid where possible. There is no room substance-abuse in academia! Illegal drugs may be a problem in our society today. But I am confident that with an expansion of its Zero Tolerance policy, the University of Toronto could become a leader in the anti-drugs revolution and a model for a drug-free tomorrow. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” - H. G. Wells (1866-1946) Editorial / Letter: The 80’s Renaissance (or why | keep taping old episodes of M.A.S.K.) | I'm sure many readers will discount this topic as not worth discussing, but I'd like to take a moment to comment on a trend that’s been growing over the past year. As we grow older and begin to take on the trappings of adulthood, we’re quickly proving to be one of the most nostalgic generations of our culture. All you have to do is look around campus and you'll see the tell-tale sign of this mindset. You can’t throw a stone in UTSC without hitting a guy wearing a Transformers shirt. | should know, !’m one of them. It’s not surprising to see how the commercial world has seized hold of our waxing nostalgic and, to our joy and theirs, bled it for all it was worth. T-shirts, television shows, comic books and action figures for franchises that | thought were long-over have been popping up with increasing frequency. Two years ago | would have given my right arm to see some of my old favorite television series have new life breathed into them. Now I’m waking up early on Saturdays to watch He-Man and checking my local comic shop for the latest issue of Thundercats. |’m having so much 80's stuffed down my eager pie-hole that I’m starting to regress back to my childhood behaviour. Not that | mind. None of this, however, is very curious. Some of it is the result of nostalgic artists getting a chance to revive their old favorites; the rest of it is just smart marketing. What | wonder is why we are approaching a point where we’re clinging to our childhood memories. Not to say that everyone brandishing a Decepticon emblem across their chest is incapable of growing up (that would be a gross generalization,) but this whole movement seems very | deeply rooted in a reluctance to let go of our youth. Why are so many of us so hung up on these old amusements? Well, one contributing factor is the scientific fact that modern cartoons suck. Memorable characters and plots that were at least interesting have been traded for casts of big-eyed caricatures with flat personalities. Somewhere along the road it became a rule that characters have to name every kind of manuever they execute in a fight. In the 80's if a villain was going to punch a hero he didn’t have to yell out “Iron rocket super punch”, he just punched | him. There was a lot less redundant posturing in the 80’s as well, or at least it seemed that way. But regardless of the fact that old cartoons were more entertaining, | think there’s something about the environment in which we have grown up that has made us predisposed to this nostalgia. | won't go too deeply into it, but if you stop to consider our generation, there’s a lot of things unique to our condition. We were the first generation openly exposed to the internet at a young age. We were the first generation to be immersed in visually > realistic, interactive video games at a young age. | was raised with open access to media of communication that could inundate me with the world in une moment and in the next help me escape from it. Being raised with a bad case of cultural vertigo, it’s little wonder some of us our quick to grab on to something familiar. Perhaps this is part of the reason we're so quick to fall back into nostalgia. It doesn’t worry me though. The fact is cartoons were better when we were younger and I’m not afraid to feed my obsession for them. Still, | wonder what today’s kids are going to be like when they grow up. If! was over-stimulated, what does that make them? “For a time | considered sparing your wretched planet Cybertron. But now, you shall witness its dismemberment.” --- Orson Welles Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Hate our guts: we were dead: rint whatever you send us.) wos http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/| Letters Wednesday, October 9, 2002 An Open Letter from the SAC Board of Directors The editor fancies himself a Saviour... | was on campus as few weeks back, gathering footage for my independent zombie picture, and was excited to pick up the first issue of this year’s Underground. | could only hope -reading your editorial- that it was not my term as editor that your words spoke so disdainfully of. Was it all blatant self-promotion, and, silly pictures? It got me thinking again about the purpose of student press. Had my forbearers, my successors and | really blown the whole thing? Or could it be that there is room for a range of approaches? Chris McCalister liked his news hard, Dave Zolis favoured sports, | loved silly pictures and good layout, and Tim Soucie after me, well he’s a poet through and through. None of us were pro- fessionals, but then it’s student press. Every editor fancies himself or herself something of a saviour. I’m glad that you’re committed to improving the paper and giving it back to the students. But I’m not sure it was ever taken away. There is no need to disrespect the achievements of others in order to make yourself look better. | can tell that you enjoy the English lan- guage and that you feel passionate about print media. Me too. Your paper looks good and reads well. Best of luck now and in the future. Sincerely, lan Mackenzie -- Editor’s Note: While the editor cannot speak to the work of Mr. Mackenzie, Mr. McCalister or Mr. Zolis, the comments referenced above did, indeed, refer to Mr. Soucie’s use of poetry-as-edito- rial, which the editor continues to find distasteful, somewhat pompous and certainly not in good keeping with the medium of a newspaper (a literary jour- nal perhaps, but not a newspaper.) The editor feels justified in his comments, and even in his own God-complex. a minimum of three years of study (Ss fi - http://Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine offers Canada's only accredited four-year, full-time professional program educating doctors of naturopathic medicine, regulated general practitioners of natural medicine. Program requirements: Candidates mi st have. ‘ at an accredited university, including s Six prerequisite courses. An Introduction to N aturopathic Medicine _ ith Elias Markou, 4th Sia intern October 4th, 2002 To the university community, We are writing to express the concern of a Board whose will was usurped and whose constitu- ents were mispresented. The Board of Directors of the Students’ Administrative Council (SAC) voted September 30" to uphold a decision of the Clubs Commission—we would give $1000 to the International Socialists so they might fund trans- portation to Ottawa. What was the purpose of this trip? To participate in a peaceful rally focussed on Palestinian Human Rights. The IS are a recognized SAC club. In funding this club, SAC did not endorse the Palestinian-cause. In funding this club, SAC did not endorse violence—in fact, the rally was entirely peaceful. In funding this club, SAC only endorsed U of T students who chose to get involved in stu- dent life. Had Hillel approached SAC for funding they would have been treated similarly. This money was not an endorsement of any particular Middle Eastern Politics. We want to clarify any misinformation regard- ing its vote, and the actions of Commissioners attempting to carry out the legal rights of the Board. Actually, when John Lea, SAC Vice President- Operations, initially decided not to issue a cheque for money the Board decided SAC would expend, he was violating SAC by-laws, violating his job description and violating the votes of thousands of students who elected this Board. He was violating a basic trust—that he, and the President who sup- ported him, are ultimately responsible to the SAC Board of Directors. The Vice President Operations withheld the physical cheque from any of the sign- ers who might have signed it. This is why Ms. Artful- Dodger and Ms. Guiao attempted to enter the busi- ness manager's office: to retrieve a new cheque (because this club needed it for a deposit ASAP), and legally issue the funds with the signatures of the University Affairs and the Clubs Commissioners — to carry out the will of democracy which the Vice President Operations defied. Mr. Lea suggested that according to the University of Toronto’s Code of Conduct, no person ought to willingly endanger another student. To sug- gest that sending students to a Palestinian peace rally would endanger them promotes an ignorance of peaceful protest. Furthermore, the student code of conduct Mr. Lea quotes in his letter of condem- nation is in fact a section taken out of context. The section followed a clause that reads: “(iii) except as otherwise provided herein, occurs on premises of the University of Toronto” and since the rally was in Ottawa, hundreds of kilometres away, the comment Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo PERHAPS IT'S BETTER NOT TO KNOW Wit CAUSES RAIN IT MIGHT. BE was totally invalid and misleading. Indeed, when the motion to give the $1000 was voted on, it passed with an overwhelming majority. The cheque was eventually signed, but only after too many antics. How could the Vice President Operations possibly consider disregarding the voices of these people? In fact, Mr. Lea did not speak a single word during the debate. His “princi- pled position,” to quote the President, was too good for the Board—a body he excluded, by personal choice, from his opinions, though they are the body he is directly responsible to. In conclusion, we, the undersigned SAC Board members, are writing to say that the motion we passed was fair, apolitical, and ultimately led to a very successful and peaceful rally at which many U of T students were allowed to express their opinions and solidarity for human rights. We are writing to say that the condemnation letter Mr. Lea wrote was unfair towards SPHR, a coalition which ultimately produced this peaceful rally. But most of all, we are writing to condemn the circumvention of democracy that Mr. Lea’s actions expressed, and which Rocco Kusi-Achampong supported as President—a direct violation of Mr. Lea’s duty as Vice President and Mr. Kusi-Achampong’s role as the official representa- tive of the student union. There was an obvious breach of trust produced between these senior executive and the Board. They have violated our trust, in some cases our confidence. We still await their apology—directed to all their constituents. Sincerely, Sami Arafeh, Trinity College Alexandra Arrtful-Dodger, Victoria College, External Commissioner Owen Cook, University College Greg Dubecky, St. Michael’s College Zainab Fatima, Victoria College Mary Auxi Guiao, Scarborough College, Equity Issues Commissioner Durre Hanif, Governing Council Representative, Trinity College Humza Hussain, Erindale College Alex Kerner, University College Sheza Khan, Erindale College, Deputy Erindale Commissioner Grace Kiser, Woodsworth College, Clubs Commissioner Immanuel F. Lansaderas, St. Michael’s College Elizabeth Majic, Victoria College, Depuy Equity Issues Commissioner Dylan Rae, Scarborough College Natalie Sabri, Woodsworth College, Parminder Singh, Scarborough College Kausar Tahir, Pharmacy Howard Tam, Engineering Kashif Yousuf, Erindale College And other concerned SAC Board members GOBLINS! The Underground i Sais Quoi” Frog In My Throat > | Merika 1: Ramundo When | saw this picture of Mario Dumont, the head of l’‘Action démocratique du Quebec, in the Toronto Star the other day, it got me thinking...why weren't there ever any hot separatist politicians when | was a kid growing up in Quebec? Just look at the schoolgirls in the picture? A guy like him would have been real easy on the eyes, maybe not so much on the ears, but real easy on the eyes. It would have made my life as an allo- phone so much easier. Mr. Dumont has been penned as Quebec's “rising star’, opting to place socio-economic concerns ahead of sovereignty, all done with a little wink and a smile. Rene Levesque, watch out! As soon as any individual is given the right to make decisions and speak on behalf of a group, the spin doctors will spin and the cigars will fly — in what direction, only the media will know. In this case, Mr. Dumont is one hot commodity. What Mr. Dumont is doing is not new to the political scene. Not only is he a “he” but he is a young, hand- some, white, charismatic well-spoken leader with a certain je ne sais quoi. That je ne sais quoi is exactly that — the / really can’t put my finger on it quality that is the first ingredient when baking the most delectable political soufflé. I’m told by my mother that both Pierre Elliot Trudeau & John F. Kennedy had “it” — “it” being something that just made women swoon and men look up and take notice. Could “it” have been Trudeau's famous rebellious pirouette? Or maybe it was his dating habits? | mean any Canadian guy who got the chance to date Barbra Streisand must have been someone pretty special. (There will more on Babs later — wait for it.) And what about Mr. J.F.K.? Was “it” his boyish smile, legacy-laden family or his trend-setting First Lady (no, not Marilyn, the other one)? Looks, fame, and fortune — those will get you far but | think it's the P werd that makes the difference in the long run. No, ladies and gents, not penis as you might have suspected (although that runs a close second), but power. The question still remains: how does a politi- cian acquire power? He may crack the code through 71 That Ol: “Je Ne Opinions a culmination of words and actions that stem from the basic governing principles that he instills in a group of citizens in a democratic state... But that public, the masses, still has to buy into that vision. Tactics in this area are as plentiful as the coupling of American politics and extramarital affairs. One strategy may be to invite the Barenaked Ladies to perform at a concert where admission is free as long as you buy a $25 member- ship to become part of his *cough NDP* party or he may also want our canuck Ladies to appear on the television drama The West Wing in order to endorse the impor- tance of youth and their voting practices. Finally, he might also consider having Babs come out of hiding and have her sing love ballads in an attempt to raise funds for control of the state legislature. With all this media coverage and stars abounding, the world of politics seems very...sexy, doesn’t it? Just mention the name Bono to me and | don’t think of U2 any more. | think of Third-World debt, the expansion of the European Union or the fact that UK’s Q Magazine has just named him the most powerful man in music. Is it because he’s sold mil- lions of albums? Nope. Back in Quebec, | never found politics to be something chic or sexy - it was jus a way of life - like poutine or Celine. | am proud to say that | am not alone in my assess- ment of the media and the public’s recent fascination with politics. Dan Bandurka, our own SCSU President agrees with me. “No,” he says, “I personally don’t view politics as sexy. If we look at history however, “it” (there it is, this “it” again!) has been advantageous for some individuals.” When | asked Dan whether or not he got noticed more by women because of his fairly high pro- file position on campus, he just laughed. “It’s noticeable that people do view me differently but | try to ignore it because it’s superficial. | want people to see me as a person, not a person with power.” | think that | might have heard that at a beauty pag- eant once. Ironically, it is these same beauty pageant contes- Mario Dumont, 32-year-old leader of l'Action democratique du Quebec, grabs the attention of students from Toronto's Pope John Paul Il secondary school after speaking to the Canadian Club in Toronto Sept. 23 EVIN FRAYER/CP tants, supermodels, politicians, music, film and televi- sion stars that are constructions (collages, if you will), of our collective conscious, filteréd through the media that connect us with them. We willingly give these images power, not out of choice but because we ourselves need to connect with the beauty, propaganda, ideology and art brought about through celebrities and politicians who share our values, our beliefs and our cultural, ethi- cal, moral frameworks (plus, It doesn’t hurt that there are people out there who will play out the game for us), so in the end, it is a win-win situation. Now if we could only give Mayor Mel the boot ‘and trade him in for Mel Gibson. NB. Dear readers: I’m still waiting to hear about your fantasy worlds! Please write me. | have no life and enjoy read- ing ANYTHING that is sent to me E-mail me at: ramundoelmundo@yahoo.ca | Editor’s Note: Merika’s column from last week (A Modern Proposal) was a UTSC take on Jonathan ..Swift’s..“A.Modest.Proposal”, for those of you that the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE UNIV ER SEY 2O Fb ORO Nee missed that Applications are now being accepted for the NORTHROP FRYE AWARDS The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased once again to join the provost in sponsoring the Northrop Frye Awards. One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of linking teaching and research. One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, college, school or department for extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- ing the link between teaching and research. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 PM. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3 Floor. Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca http://www,utse, ytoronto.ca/-yndergnd/,, , , News Wednesday, October 9, 2002 Election forum shows first year students eager to get involved “1 came into this school with the impression that university students were different from high school [students]. After seeing election posters defaced with such vulgarity my impression is soured.” This comment from first year student Nicole McLean highlights not only one hopeful first year rep’s campaign, but also a recently publicized issue on campus. At the elections forum, held October 2nd in the Meeting Place, Jonathon Cross spoke about having his election posters vandalized, noting that this is not the first time graffiti has succeeded in offending the students of UTSC. When asked about the issue by the President of SCSU, Dan Badurka, several other candidates voiced their opinions. Harinee Surendra spoke about changing the people who write the obscene messages rather than trying to prevent the act of vandalism itself. While Chanel Chung promised that if graffiti was an issue for _ first year students it would be an issue for her as well, Natalia Simachkevitch didn’t see the graffiti _as being such a big issue. | Another important issue, this time raised by fifth year student Ravi Singh, was the apparent _ lack of school spirit at UTSC, which is especially evident amongst first year students. Singh asked the candidates what activities or events could be implemented to help ease the transition from high school to university. Adam Watson spoke about orientation and ‘allowing students to network with each other’, while Chanel Chung proclaimed Til definitely do promotions!’, emphasizing that ‘mouth to mouth communication is. most effective’ in getting the word out about student activities. It was also pointed out that athletic events play a role in student morale, since a win for a school by Lisa Endersby, Underground Staff team usually means school spirit rises. Therefore, seating should be provided for spectators at the university's soccer games and athletic events or games should receive greater publicity. Bandurka also asked Jessica Mariano, a candidate for the position of Life Sciences rep what issues are most pertinent to upper year students. Mariano replied by voicing her concerns over the non-availability of books and materials in the library as construction continues on campus. While admitting there was nothing she could do to make construction go any faster, Mariano did promise to do whatever possible, such as sitting on all relevant committees in order to ensure that upper year students can soon begin to take advantage of library material on campus instead of having to wait for them to arrive from other locations. When ! asked several candidates why they thought they should be elected first year or life sciences rep, | received many intriguing responses. Marjan Tehrani told me that “! think that | should be elected first year rep because | have many opinions, yet I’m open to hear those of others. I’m a hard worker, I’m approachable and I’m a woman of my word.” Harinee Surendra spoke about her first impressions of UTSC: “When | first entered the doors of U of T, | told my dad that | had a tummyache and wanted to go home. Well, | don’t play with plastic ponies anymore, neither do | feel small in this campus as | did on that day. The only thing that matters now are the great people | have met along the way, and | would be honoured to represent them.” Natalia Simachkevitch decided to use her ‘notoriety’ from this year’s orientation to her advantage “After the Frosh Week ‘incident’ tons of people talked to me, if elected I'll ALWAYS make time to talk to YOU!” and Adam Watson decided to quote his campaign posters by saying “IT REALLY IS ACOMMON SENSE DECISION! | am experienced. VOTE WISE, Vote ‘Adam Watson for You on SCSU.” Chanel Chung told me “I’m very friendly, outrageously outgoing and | have a tremendous amount of school spirit. As a loud mouth, i can literally voice the opinions of the 1st year student body. Remember: Chanel Chung, 1st Year Rep, THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!” and Jonathon Cross explained “...! will be fair to everyone regardless of sexuality, race or ethnic background. With my down to earth nature, | feel that most of the student body can relate with me and would feel comfortable approaching me.” Speaking as a possible Life Sciences rep, Jessica Mariano said she should be elected “Because | care about education, | care about the students, and | want to help maintain UTSC’s high academic standards.” Unfortunately | was not able to get comments from all the candidates and considering that this article will appear after the voting has taken place, | can only hope that this article will help to ensure those who voted, and those who didn't, that those candidates most capable of fulfilling the duties of a first year or Life Sciences representative have been elected. These three people will be representing a vast majority of the student body and it only makes sense that they will be the most able to fill the position. the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE UNV ERS leisy = Ov e.O R ON TO Applications are now being accepted for the JOHN H. Moss SCHOLARSHIP A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded toa graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca —. The Underground On October 3, 2002 the new Tim Hortons located in the R-wing opened to the students and faculty of UTSC. The masses lined up opposite the UTSC bookstore throughout the day to get their caffeine fix. No matter what time of day you passed by the bookstore, the line-up was endless. It stretched so far that people had to be sectioned off, so that students and staff walking to their classes or offices could pass by without Zigzagging and pushing their way through the line-up. One couldn't help but be amazed at Tim Horton’s positive image when one saw all the desperate faces waiting in line for their haven of sugar and cream. Waiting for what seemed an eternity, to pay homage to the place fondly referred to as “Timmy's” seemed to be worth the effort. The opening of the new Tim Hortons was fm Tim Hortons arrives in Bladen Foyer: Students love Timmy's! by Dinesh Fernando Underground Staff actually delayed for almost one full day due to an electrical problem. However since Tim Hortons had planned to open on October 2, a reasonable quantity of donuts, bagels and cookies had already been baked. In order to avoid wastage of products (and disappointing the students and staff), they pulled apart their doors a wee bit during the later part of the day. It was no surprise to see a score of customers waiting in line just for the handful of donuts that were available. The name Tim Hortons stems from the founder, Tim Horton (1930-1974), an all-Canadian boy who played 17 seasons in the NHL. He founded the business along with Ron Joyce, the store’s first franchisee. Joyce is presently the Chairman of Tim Horton's charities and is also on the Board of Directors for Sobey’s, a subsidiary of the Loblaws Corporation. Today, Tim Hortons Corporation is owned by a parent company, none other than the popular Wendy’s. In 1995 Wendy’s International merged with the Canadian based Tim Hortons. Everything about Tim Hortons at UTSC Bugbear worm can open PCs to hackers There is anew computer virus lurking around in the dark world of the Internet. It’s name: Bugbear. What does it do? It can let anyone, even a hacker from the most remote part of the world, access your computer and browse through your private documents. This devastating virus is a mass-mailing worm, which was discovered on September 30, 2002. Millions of computers have already been affected and according to Symantec, a leading anti-virus company, it is spreading wildly. “We have upgraded this threat from a category 3 to a category 4, our second highest threat level,” says a computer security expert with Symantec. “At category 4, that would mean millions of users [are] affected.” According to Mcafee.com, the virus originated in Malaysia and has since spread worldwide, affecting millions of computers in Europe, the by Fasal Islam Underground Staff United States and Asia. Reports indicate that Britain has been the hardest hit, followed by Australia and New Zealand. This devious virus spreads via e-mail, using the email addresses from the address book of the infected computers. That means if your friend’s PC is infected, the virus can arrive at your inbox using your friend’s name and email address. Using inconspicuous subject lines such as “SCAM Alert!!!” or “Hello!” or “bad news”, it has success- fully fooled thousands into opening the infected mail. Bugbear is a hacker’s priceless possession because it works very silently. As soon as it infects a PC, it disables any leading firewall or anti-virus programs that it can find so that it can continue its destruction and spread in peace. If your computer is connected to a network of computers, then your peers may not be very happy when they find out is impressive. Interiors, bright lighting, the mouth watering variety of donuts displayed proudly on the shelves are all outstanding. It is probably the - most attractive part of the whole campus. The new | Tim Hortons on our campus has everything from — the trademark coffee to the lunchtime favourites: Soup, chilli and sandwiches. Tim Hortons UTSC, | | is part of another addition to the Aramark owned and operated eateries on the UTSC campus. This | store, like the others, is franchised and replaces | the Coffee Time and Mr.Sub that had previously occupied the location. Aramark’s decision to invest in the breakfast and coffee giant will no doubt reap rewards. The name ‘Tim Hortons itself is so popular | that people often use it as a point of reference. It's like the “New Meeting Place”. | find myself telling people to meet me in front of the “New Timmy's” all the time. So as you can see the Tim Hortons | has brought with it good fortune, soon to be good memories and a damn good cup of coffee. about the virus and its source, because it passes through the network and tries to affect every PC on that network. That's why MacAfee, another leading anti-virus company, has labelled the virus — high-risk to both personal computers and corpo rate computers. Only the most trifling damages have been q reported so far. The worst and most dangerous | effects are to make infected PCs completely vis- ible on the Internet, by opening backdoors. backdoor is a way of accessing a program or a whole computer system. A hacker can easily gain access to an infected computer, and all its files Also, the worm has keystroke-logging feature that can record every password or credit card number | typed in to an infected computer and mass mail it to everyone in the computer’s address book. Symantec has a fix available on their website | for Bugbear. This fix can be used to check or | remove infected files. Also, usage of up-to-date | anti-virus and firewall software is a must nowa- days. It is recommended that you scan your PC — regularly for viruses and keep away worms that | can destroy priceless files. | “http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd Aeay wan 4 . Feature Wednesday, October 9, 2002 Paying the Price for Textbooks: Are new texts worth the extra cash? And why do they keep changing editions? | Veronica Lo investigates... Deregulated tuition. A double cohort. A scarce job market. Environmental justice. These are issues that we, as students, confront daily; and we have lobbied, appealed and paraded through the streets to decry our government's, and our university's, han- dling of these issues. Each year, even the slightest indication of a tuition hike leads to a firestorm of pro- test - and yet there are many issues that university Officials barely recognize, if only because students think they are too “minor” to whine about. One of these issues is the simple matter of buying textbooks. We all know the routine at the beginning of the year - line-ups that extend all the way into the hall with the old grad photos (which incidentally amuse us while we're waiting), triumphantly unearth- ing a textbook (until the price is revealed, at which point we’d wish we'd never found it), and trying in vain to sell last year’s texts, only to discover that all the editions have changed. Every year, we get the distinct impression that we’re being ripped off. “I just think they're too expensive for what they’re actu- ally worth,” says Ashley Jenner, an Environmental Science major. But if you try to blame the bookstore they'll lay the blame squarely on the publishers. Evelyn Junger, the floor manager for the UTSC Bookstore, claims the store has no influence whatsoever on the pub- lishers’ prices. She offers “limited print runs and a specialized market” as the reasons why certain texts are so expensive. And as for the prices for which the bookstore sells them, well, they are never inflated beyond the manufacturer's suggested retail prices. In fact, says Junger, the UTSC Bookstore is “com- pletely non-profit”, as advertised on their website. An employee is quick to add that the profits go directly to the University of Toronto Press, which is linked to U of T. However, UTPress is not owned by the univer- ' sity - it is a separate entity, a corporation that deals solely with manufacturing and publishing. One also wonders how some textbooks, which are supposedly being sold at the suggested retail price, are offered for more than 30% off at big chains such as Chapters or Amazon. As one student points out, the cost of order- ing books online is substantially less, even after the addition of ship- ping and handling charges - and you get to avoid the line-ups. A Roman history text that costs $97 at the bookstore is usually priced for just $64.95 at Chapters. The current price war between Chapters and Amazon has resulted in another 30% drop off their regular prices. That text is now just $45.46. When this is mentioned to Junger, she counters that stores like Discount Textbooks on the St. George campus may be cheaper, but they don’t have tele- ers. lishers’ prices.” “[Try] to blame the book- store they'll lay the blame squarely on the publish- Evelyn Junger, the floor manager for the UTSC Bookstore, claims the store has no influence whatsoever on the pub- phone lines or the same return policies. “We have to cover our expenses,” she says, gesturing to the bright lights, neatly folded sweatshirts, and polished wooden counters. (In fact, Discount Textbooks does have a telephone line and the same two-week return policy as U of T Bookstores). “Its a bunch of baloney,” scoffs Parminder Singh, SAC Scarborough Commissioner. The sug- gested retail price is always inflated to ensure maximum profits, which is not what the bookstore should be aiming for, if indeed it is non-profit. Singh believes that because students comprise such a large chunk of the market, U of T should be fighting for the students and telling sup- pliers what they want to pay for books, instead of taking a passive stance. Professor Nick Eyles, who teaches environmental sciences, agrees: “They need you more than you need them.” He says professors can also have considerable influence on publisher’s prices, and had specifically requested that his book, Ontario Rocks, be affordably priced. Students had no qualms about paying $49.95 for a new full-sized text that has relevant Canadian content and original colour photographs on every page. Unfortunately, exorbitant prices are not the only problem. Students can’t resell their books if the editions keep changing. The U of T Bookstores certainly won't buy them back. It is generally agreed upon by professors and students alike that course texts should be updated - but not every one or two years, and not unless the changes go beyond differ- ent page numbers or adding a few more homework problems. “It’s quite deliberate,” says Professor Tony Price, of the practice of changing edi- tions. He regrets that it happens, but doesn’t believe much can be done about it. From the bookstore’s perspective, Junger again states that the blame should lie on the publish- ers, as it is solely their decision to change editions. However, that is not always the case. Scott Tremblay, Vice President (Students) of the Scarborough Campus Students Union, cites a specific example of a professor at the St. George campus who changes the edition of the course text every year. The reason is obvious: with a class of over 1000 students, it’s easy to make a lot of money off royalties collected from the sales. Tremblay notes that for courses like calculus or chemistry, there should be no need to frequently change editions as the same material has been taught for decades. This is where the role of professors should come in. Even if publishers keep on rolling out new edi- tions, that’s no reason for faculty to list the newest edition as the only acceptable one. Having worked with the older texts, professors know what changes students, the sales.” “The reason is obvious: with a class of over 1000 it’s easy to make a lot of money off royalties collected from have been made, and should inform students accordingly, especially if it’s only a matter of differ- ent page numbers. So why do the majority appear to deliberately withhold this information? Tremblay has a couple of theories: either professors are trying to generate money for the publishers, or they're attempting to cover themselves in the event that stu- dents complain they were tested on material from the new editions. For the time being, it looks as though U of T stu- dents will continue to face inflated prices and profes- sors who are apparently unsympathetic. Fortunately, SAC and SCSU are working on measures to improve this. The SAC Book Bursary is a program designed to provide students with financial relief in the form of credit vouchers that are redeemable at any U of T bookstore. Last year, the SAC gave out about a hundred vouchers to Scarborough campus students. All a student has to do is fill out a form that can be picked up at the SAC office. The SCSU takes unclaimed books that are left behind in lockers, and holds a barbecue book sale twice a year, at the beginning of each semester. The problem is, not too many students are aware of this. It’s difficult for the SCSU to advertise the fact that they don’t support the bookstore’s ethics. Tremblay describes their position as impossible: “We can't just approach the line-up outside the bookstore and advertise used books,” he says. Students won't have much luck buying used books from the U of T Bookstores, either. Although the bookstore buys them back at a small fraction of the original price, they are resold again at much higher prices. This concern is voiced to Junger, who, at a loss for words, simply shrugs and smiles. Clearly, the bookstore is adhering to its maximum- profit rule at the students’ expense. It’s just business as usual, and the scary thing is, we’re getting used to it. Find books on-line at: _ www.chapters.indigo.ca_ _ Www.amazon.com ~ www.barnesandnoble.com _http:/yww-utse.utoronto, ga/~undergnd/ os The Underground Arts — Bob Martin talks about life after U of T Bob Martin entered University of Toronto in 1981. Beginning with a major in theatre at Victoria College, he later concentrated on English and film studies at Innis. Now an experienced writer and actor in Canadian television and theatre Bob’s newest role is as puppeteer for Cuddles the comfort doll in the new Comedy Network series Puppets Who Kill. | had a chance to talk to Bob about going to school at U of T and the transi- tion to making a living in the arts. When | asked Bob to relate to me his time at U of T, he told me he wasn't heavy into extra curricular activities, but he obviously stayed pretty active. Acting part-time and editing Victoria College’s literary journal were among the things that he did on the side. But according to him the most valuable thing he got out of university was a work ethic. Deadlines helped him learn to write, and a couple of his better professors influenced him towards the media of film and theatre. We discussed what it was like to make the transition from studies to making a living as a writer/actor. Bob emphasized the importance of getting out with your own projects. He found writing workshops and other such groups counter-productive for their lack of sup- portive push. As a result, Bob worked on developing his own material. “It's better to get up on stage,” he advised me, “Doing my own work led to other work”. It was a slow build, but Bob began writing shows for the fringe circuit around Toronto and joined a group of other creative writers. He worked with Don McKellar, creator of Twitch City; a CBC show based in Kensington Market, and also appeared on the main stage of Toronto’s Second City. Since then he has run the Canadian acting circuit, guest-starring on programmes such as Traders and Made in Canada. “The work by Keith Friedlander Arts Editor is there to get in TV,” he told me when | asked about the acces- sibility of Canadian television. “It’s harder in theatre.” Still, Bob’s highest acco- lades and greatest satisfaction has always come from the work he’s done writing and perform- ing in Toronto. It's through his writing that he makes his living. He especially appreciates the Fringe Festival, which he describes as an excellent place for networking and developing projects. It was through the fringe circuit that he came to work with John Pattison, the creator of Puppets Who_ kill. Pattison has worked as a puppeteer on such other shows as Fraggle Rock and Groundling Marsh. The two first met during their time at Second City, and Bob watched John develop the idea for Puppets Who Kill from a one-man-show about a possessed mannequin out to kill its master. Puppets Who Kill has already gar- nered a rather harsh review from this publication, so | was interested to get Bob’s opinion of the show. “I’m inter- ested to see how it will go over,” he told me. He goes on to explain that the Comedy Network was very obliging in giving John control over his project, and that the end result was an interesting mix of quirky and dark humour. According to Bob, John really sinks into the darker side of his mind to come up with the shows bizarre stories. You have to dis- appear into John’s mind to appreciate the humour. People will either really like it or be turned off by it. Puppets Who Kill premieres October 11 on the Comedy Network, so you can judge for yourself whether it’s worth your attention. As for Bob Martin (though he admits he isn’t very experienced as a puppeteer,) he'll likely be doing more seasons as Cuddles the comfort doll. The show was great fun to create, he explains, and it isn’t so much about one’s experience as a puppeteer as it is the amount of personality he can bring to the character. Moreover, it’s encouraging to hear from an established writer, actor and U of T alumnus, that the best advice is to follow your interests. CBC’s Arty New-media Website Fails To Inspire by Sarah Barmak 120seconds.com is a division of CBCRadio3 website devoted to the pro- motion of new forms of art on the web. The site is largely designed to showcase various new media projects by various Canadian-grown poets, graphic artists, filmmakers, and other avant-types who flirt with the project of warping modern art. It is also meant to demonstrate that the CBC is changing with the times and is not at risk of becoming irrelevant in the new world of web-based media. As a showcase of good art, the site truly impresses in a few instances, but most of the works are forgettable. Though the problematic pieces sometimes fail because of difficulties or miscalcula- tions inherent in the media, the biggest reason for their failure is that strong art tends to have a reasonably good con- ceptual basis, something that is lacking in most of these pieces. They work hard at being quirky and edgy, and yet are without the roundness of works that have been planned out a bit more -- they lack purposiveness, as the jargon goes, but not without pretension. They're not even all that entertaining, and usually they’re just plain boring. | reviewed a few of the better ones, and | encourage people to check out one or two, if only to see what is possible. One section is called Visual Poetry, and was part of the Vancouver Word on the Street literary festival. It was commis- sioned by the CBC, and the blurb says it features “stunning visual interpretations and deconstructions of the poet’s power- ful word play”. The poems appear bit by bit in a Flash presentation layered over images and ambient sounds. The first poem is called “Getting Out of Burnaby”, by Doretta Lau, with visuals by Lilli Wong, and is about childhood in a small town. The simple images of high-rises contrasted with one single-story house on a bare hill parallel the run-down, semi-rural world of the poem, although the representations are dully literal: when it mentions a 7-11, a 7-11 sign appears. The progress of the visuals and the text is irritatingly slow (my screensaver popped up), and although this effectively mirrored the pace of life in an empty town where nothing ever happens, | thought it unrealistic to expect someone to stay with it for that long. Another poem, “This City’, by Cass King (words) and Peter Hoang (visuals/ sounds) has much more happening. In it, everyday grunge is a metaphor for the diseased, stunned, and stunted resi- dents the poet encounters in his home city of Vancouver. The whimsical ver- biage (‘saketini’, ‘alkool’) plays well with the gorgeously jangling plays-on-words and their sounds (“green city, mean and venal, menial city’). The text moves much faster than in the previous poem, which is an improvement. It also gives precedence, whether intentional or not, to the text over the other components. The visuals are few and simple, and the font used is just plain black serif--disap- pointing in an experiment where the point is to push visual limits as well as verbal. The poem would do just as well on its own or especially read live. My main critique of these poems is that their “interpretations and decon- structions” are really just representa- tions. In King’s case, where the poem was too intricate and subtle to be trans- lated directly into visuals, the designer’ resorted to a background depicting moody, urban images, instead of taking a creative dialogue with hidden meanings in the text. The idea of visual poetry is not a bad one, but it has been done before and to better effect by other sites show- cased in the past in magazines like Vice. The rest of the site is a mishmash of videos ranging from spoken word to animation to reality-style reporting. Brian MacDonald’s “Jeremy’s Head” is one of the gems: a comic/pathetic monologue by a young man with “conditions”. He’s worried about his head--specifically about the fact that his brother used to sit on it as a kid, and he now has a suspi- cious lack of concentration. It is short and sweet. One of the reality-TV pieces, Meet the Freaks, interviews Vancouver’s various eccentrics and weirdoes with certain comic results. It is clear that this site is sure to be around for a while and the videos seem to rotate in availability. It is certainly worth a look for any young cineaste with a digital handheld and han- kering for some grant money to produce your video diddles. Check it out at: http:/iwww.120seconds.com 10 a http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/. . . 4 Reviews Film: The Tuxedo Genre: Action /Comedy Starring: Jackie Chan, Love Hewitt and Jason Issacs Jennifer Director: Kevin Donovan Producer: Dreamworks Rating: Holly Cousineau Wednesday, October 9, 2002 Good enough for fans of Chan A specific quota can be expected from any given Jackie Chan film. One can anticipate to see intriguing fight scenes that are seemingly impossible to reproduce and to hear jokes that appeal to virtually every age group. This winning formula remains constant in Chan’s newest project that has paired him up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. At first, | thought she would ruin the film, much like she destroyed her singing career with her latest album. Surprisingly though, she portrays her character, a sassy rookie, impeccably. Together, Chan and Hewitt are an original, quirky duo. The Tuxedo is the story of Jimmy Tong (Chan), a mild-mannered guy who finds himself battling against an evil water-monger, who wishes to control the world’s supply of H2O. Chan begins the movie as a love struck cabby with One to many speeding violations to contend with. Strangely enough, this bad habit proves to be useful when an unusual client offers him a job based on his unique driving style. With his new placement he finds himself chauffeuring Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs), a wealthy socialite with a secret identity. With time their friendship grows until only one household rule exists between them. In a familiar “sorcerer’s apprentice” kinda way, Jimmy must never wear Mr. Devlin’s tuxedo. - After an attempted assassination lands Devlin in the hospital, Jimmy finds out his employer’s hidden identity. Acting quickly and at Devlin’s demand, he puts on the forbidden suit, impersonates Devlin and winds up on an assignment with an unsuspecting agent. Even though, Jimmy is outfitted with a computerized tuxedo that enables him to do anything he desires, he still has to deal with the suit's unknown configuration and Blaine. Del Blaine (Hewitt) is an_ intelligent agent with a crass attitude, who winds up working with Jimmy on her first field assignment. Together, they attempt to take down the aforementioned evil bottled water company. Dietrich Banning, Jimmy's nemesis and head of the water company, is a poorly developed character that lacks lines in the film. Even worse, his evil scheme is based on completely false scientific facts which I'll let you figure out for yourself. Nevertheless, throughout the movie, Chan and Hewitt experience failed missions, hi-jinks and some provocative moments. While Hewitt has a chance to prove her worth as an actress, Chan once again wows audiences with his trademark stunts. Overall, the film was entertaining, although it surely didn’t keep me on the edge of my seat. Nonetheless, Jackie Chan fans will probably enjoy it. Produced: Universal Pictures Film: Red Dragon Keith’s Rating: Wk wT Genre: Thriller Director: Brett Ratner Starring: Ed Norton, Anthony Hopkins, Ralph Fiennes Dueling reviewers feel luke- warm about Red Dragon Morgan’s Rating: KK Keith: For the first in our series of dueling reviews (that will likely just degrade into ranting and banter) Morgan and | will be looking at Red Dragon, the prequel to the Hannibal Lecter films, based on the novels by Thomas Harris. First of all the plot... Morgan... Morgan: There was a plot? K: Well as the first in the series of Lecter books Red Dragon follows the investigation of Will Graham (played by Ed Norton), the man who caught Lecter, into a ghastly series of serial murders that seem inspired in no small part by Lecter’s notoriety. But in order to catch the killer... M: He has to become him? K: No, he has to collaborate with Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) who nearly killed him. M: Would be cooler if he had to become him, they could have gotten fat John Travolta to be Graham and we would have two cannibals who could have had romantic candle-lit dinners. However, had they paid Travolta’s fee they might have had just enough cheddar left over for a couple of candles so it’s really just as well. Come to think of it, romance is what's totally missing from this movie. Hannibal, for all its flaws at least had that... K: So how would you say it compares over all to the previous Lecter movies? Where Silence of the Lambs was a celebrated psychological thriller, | Hannibal brought us the hilarity of man-eating pigs and a guy eating his own brain. What is Red Dragon’s niche? M: Well Keith, I’m glad you mentioned brain-eating, as __ it certainly is hilarious. If anything Red Dragon brings a guy in a wheelchair, rolling down the street while burning alive to the annals of film history, a noteworthy addition in any age. No doubt we will see even more wheelchair bound people lit aflame on film due to the success of this movie. By success, | mean from a financial point of view because one of the few things this movie does right is make money. Brett Ratner is essentially maiming, | mean making a movie here that didn’t need to be made. | liked it the first time it was made when it was called Manhunter and adapted by Michael Mann in the 80s. K: One of the things that bothered me about Red Dragon is that while it seldom deviated from the events of the book, Ratner took such a formulaic approach to filming it that the movie itself suffered from pacing problems. M: While | have not read the book | can definitely concur that Bret Ratner is an idiot. K: | didn’t call him that. M: Sure you did, anyway his ham- fisted approach to movie making may work alright for action-comedies like his culture-clash opus, Rush Hour 2, but it only hurts Red Dragon. One would hope that Lecter movies would require a little bit of the sophistication supposedly inherent to the great villain himself, but Red Dragon plays out like a cheap slasher movie, complete with requisite last-minute plot twist. Hannibal may have been an incredibly self-indulgent piece as is typical of most Ridley Scott films, but at least it was visually interesting and even unusual at times. It chills me to the core of my being that Warner Bros has entrusted the new SUPERMAN movie to an unsubtle hack like Ratner. K: | think what Red Dragon really lacked in comparison to the book was the psychological issue of Graham being a crazy bastard. Whereas in the story Graham is greatly disturbed by his ability to get into the mind of serial killer, in the movie it mostly just seems to make Norton sleepy. Whereas in the book Hannibal plays on this anxiety to whittle away at Graham’s composure, in the movie he uses it to get a free meal out of him. But we’re running out of time so let's talk about Ralph Fiennes as the villain of the piece. M: Not yet. You know who else is a crazy bastard? Anyone who actually spends money to see this ‘film’. | sure am glad | saw it for free... that was sweet. You know who else was sleepy? Me, during this movie. Norton tries to get into the mind of a serial killer, but does such a lack-lustre job that | would rather personally climb into the bed of a serial killer than see this movie again. On the other hand Fiennes rocked and saved the day. K: Yeah, Fiennes kicked ass. So, final thoughts. | think fans of the book will be mildly pleased with the movie, fans of Hannibal won't care either way and most everyone else will be too bored to form a real opinion. M: | would rather have Lecter eat my skull than see this movie again. Fiennes should get a medal for being in a movie this terrible and still turning in an epic performance. | remember when the same could have been said about Hopkins, but in this movie, his vaunted Lecter character has become little more than a cartoon. Eccentric comments about cannabilism and fava beans were great... in 1991. Its clear that for Hopkins and Norton who are capable of so much more, this movie was a paycheque... not art. If you like movies, then see me and we can start a collection to hire a professional assassin to end Ratner’s life and hopefully save the world from a terrible SUPERMAN movie. Editor’s Note: The Underground does not condone homicide, hired or otherwise, no matter how deserving Mr. Ratner might, in fact, be. Readers are cautioned that hiring a hitman is very likely to be some sort of criminal offense. f http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 11 The Underground Life Studying the Concrete Peacock by Geoff Micks Life Editor Students need books; it’s a simple fact. Be it for an assignment, background research, general interest, or simply as a prop to make yourself look more intelligent, reading material is the life-blood of the educational system. Students are in constant need of reading material. And ordinarily this is no problem ata university like UTSC. But with the Vincent W. Bladen Library operating in a much reduced capacity this year, almost everyone is going to have make the journey to the John P. Robarts Research Library on the St. George campus. While libraries are usually thought of as unassuming edifices, Robarts has moxy [sic]. At sixty-seven meters tall, the concrete peacock rules the roost, dominating the surrounding neighbourhood with its fourteen-story tall tail. Inside, almost eighty- one square kilometers of floor space holds the single largest collection of books in the University of Toronto Library system, along with thirteen smaller libraries, centres, and research departments. Its collection is so great that the building’s architect underestimated the weight of eight million books, and its foundations have sunk, ever so slightly, under its heavy burden. Even before the building was finished construction, people knew it was going to revolutionize the way universities thought about libraries. In Martin Friedland’s The University of Toronto: A History you can read about the 1972 Robarts sit-in. Originally the library was only to be accessed by professors, researchers, and graduate students. Outraged at being excluded from such a valuable facility, twenty- five undergrads camped-out in the University senate chambers, demanding the senate hold a meeting to repeal the decision. Police forcibly removed the protesters and arrested several. The next day five hundred undergraduates showed up to protest the exclusion of undergraduates from Robarts. Jack Sword, acting-President of the University of Toronto, broke up the second sit-in by promising to lend his personal support to the undergraduates’ cause. Friedland quoted Vice-President Ross’ memoirs, saying that the protests “[were] the potentially most dangerous to the university among all the student demonstrations which took place’ in his twenty-five year career. When the doors to Robarts were opened in 1973, it became the central hub of the University of Toronto’s library system. At the time it was one of the largest collections of books in any one place, second only to the American Congressional Library. Today it hovers at fifth place in the Association of Research Libraries’ Top Ten List. Apart from its eight million volumes, the Robarts’ collection contains a quarter of a million maps, miles of microfiche, subscriptions to every major periodical on the planet and hundreds of computers. Walking through the stacks is an intimidating experience. “It’s like being in the Labyrinth. You turn a corner and expect to see the Minotaur,” said one third year student. Seven floors of books, accessible only by passing a security check point and taking high speed elevators, detail, in dozens of languages, mankind’s collected knowledge on all things pertaining to Social Sciences and Humanities. Time stands still in the library. Sounds travel eerily, echoing off hard floors, metal shelves. An individual that drops a book becomes the center of a frightening tableau, where everyone stares. There is no shushing. Everyone knows that anything above a whisper is wholly inappropriate in this building. And yet, humour is not dead inside the belly of the concrete peacock. In an effort to ease congestion in the elevators, the architects built several stairwells connecting the different floors of stacks. At each landing of the stairwell a bold red and white sign announces to the uncertain, “THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY STAIRWELL.” Someone has written on the sign: “So if it's an emergency we can’t use it?” Robarts is one of the most heavily used buildings on the downtown campus. It has five express elevators to the stacks, each capable of holding twenty-two people at a time. The ground floor has a massive computer lab donated by Scotiabank, and there are several floors of reading rooms, periodical repositories, meeting rooms, and restaurants. You can find every publication from every campus, with the exception of the Underground, arrayed on a dozen racks by the escalators. Some UTSC students will be satisfied with the Bladen library’s limited abilities. For the rest, a trip to Robarts is almost certainly in their future. As inconvenient as the commute downtown will be, there are few other libraries on Earth that would better justify the trip. Parking Cpl. Chris Moy Enforcement - Permits and Designated Spaces When you park in the Outer Lots at UTSC, displaying a valid transponder or cash receipt in your vehicle is not enough. You must also be parked in a designated parking space. In paved lots, these are denoted by yellow lines. In the gravel lots these are marked by concrete curbs. Parking on the grass along the shoulder of a driveway, or anywhere else without designated parking spaces, may result in the issuance of a $40 City of Toronto Parking Infraction Notice. If you are parked illegally and blocking another vehicle your vehicle may be towed. Towing Company information is posted in each parking lot. Charges related to towing could be up to $117.00 plus the cost of the parking ticket. Illegal parking and blocking in other vehicles is an inconvenience to everyone. Please pay attention to where you are parking. Protect Your Vehicle - Don’t Be a Victim of Opportunity In previous years, UTSC Police have observed a significant increase in the number of thefts and acts of vandalism occurring in the parking areas around campus, including the outer parking lots off Military Trail. Many of these thefts have been crimes of opportunity. In order to reduce the likelihood of your vehicle being broken into or stolen, UTSC Police make the following recommendations: Turn off the ignition and take the keys with you, even if you are stepping away from the vehicle for a short time. Keep your spare keys in your wallet, not in your car. in the Outer Lots Enforcement and Theft Prevention Completely close and lock all doors, windows, the sunroof and the trunk. Many times a thief has to do nothing more than reach through an open window to steal your property from within. Take your possessions with you. If this is not possible, put all items of value, such as loose change, CD cases, purses, briefcases, gifts, etc. in the trunk or under the seats and do not leave them in direct view. Remember, a thief will not know that your laptop case is empty until after they have broken into your vehicle. Avoid parking behind fences or hedges. Be cautious of surrounding obstructions and natural barriers that may be concealing a thief. Park in well-lit areas near pedestrian traffic if your vehicle will be left after dark. The better the lighting around your vehicle, the better the chances of a thief being spotted before damaging your Car. Engrave your stereo and other on-board valuables with your driver’s license number. Drop business cards or address labels inside doors to assist with vehicle identification in the event your vehicle is stolen and subsequently recovered. Install an anti-theft device to protect your stereo, or buy a unit that’s removable and take it with you when you park. If you see any suspicious person or activity near a vehicle, call the police immediately. Invest in a good anti-theft device. Modified vehicles with custom parts are often targeted. Some of the more common anti-theft systems are described below: Ignition Kill Switch - Toggle switch spliced into ignition that disables vehicle when “off.” Fuel Kill Switch - Switch spliced into fuel system wiring that halts fuel supply when “off.” Steering Wheel Lock (The CLUB) - prevents steering wheel from turning. Gearshift Lock - Locks gearshift in place and disables shifting transmission. Hood Locks - prevents access to battery and other car components. Steering Column Collar - protects entry to ignition through column. Electronic Alarms - Ones with kill switches are most effective. Remember the UTSC Police are on duty 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and should be called immediately at 476-2&7-7333 or from one of the emergency phones installed around campus if you see any suspicious activity in the parking lots. Suspicious activities would include persons loitering in an area, someone trying the doors on numerous vehicles, someone looking into the windows of a parked vehicle or a person who hides their face or stops what they are doing and walks away when you approach. If you have information concerning the vandalism, theft from or of a vehicle while parked at the University of Toronto at Scarborough please call UTSC Police at 416-287-7398 or Student Crime Stoppers at 416-222-TIPS. re 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ON A aN RN ey Eo Wane Rew Life Nocturnal Street Whores On Rez “pink peach” Nicholson Have you ever been so bored that shopping for blue toilet duck or 2000 flushes toilet bricks really cranks your engine? Well we never have, but if its occurred to you that’s pretty damn sad! While sitting on our beer-bottled-strewn picnic table, we decided that tonight sobriety is not an option. At the moment we smell like men, and it’s driving us CRAZY. In fact, one might even say that we are in need of a couple of cold showers. This does not always work, but why else were detachable, massaging showerheads invented? We have realized that as a result of our boredom we have become extremely horny. We have even asked a complete stranger, turned buddy (aka Neptune), the size and girth of his penis (10 inch. and Yes Ladies and Gents he has measured it!) We pause and smile to reflect on this magical moment. Most people will be embarrassed to admit that their lives lack that ‘je ne sais quoi’ that makes life less boring. We are the experts on procrastination and time consumption, so we have the perfect prescription for your wandering mind. The first thing we do when we are bored is twiddle our thumbs- both clock and counter clock wise. Sometimes we will even upgrade to the ‘Rubber Pencil’ trick. No matter how many times you do this, it never gets old and is always cool- Fucking A. However, what if your house “isn’t smelling so fresh”? No one likes to put a lot of time into cleaning their house and even more so if there is jizz caked into ig LARBOR ] Julie “banana yellow” Harper & Sophie ' the carpet, especially since it is always believed that it was the other housemates who caused the mess in question- not that night of amnesia you had. House cleaning, however, can be a major stress reliever. You can get out all that built up anger in a cathartic burst of kitchen floor cleansing- yummy: Country fresh. “Thanks again Mr. Clean you always polish our tiles just right’. And if truly inspired one could round-up all those empty beer bottles lying out back and take them back to the beer store for more money. If cleaning the house isn’t your forte, but nudity is, grab a full-length mirror and listen-up. Try onyou’re your lingerie or your ‘birthday-suit’ and pretend you are in a porn-shoot in front of the mirror. (Please don’t be shocked, we have been obscene for the past 3 weeks and this is nothing new.) This means you can waste time, turn yourself on and explore what it means to be you. Note: digital cameras make things much more interesting. Also make sure to close curtains, unless you are up for a free show- this can also be entertaining for passers-by, and you will receive a flow of calls from then on in! If exposing yourself isn’t your cup of tea, then perhaps you should mix up a gimlet or grape knee high (both of which are drinks) and pop on “10 Things | Hate About You”. Watching movies when you’re bored is relaxing, fun and not too physically exerting. Who really wants to have to do stuff, let alone go somewhere to get stuff to do? You still following what we are saying? If you are an extremist or a trendy hipster, the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Wednesday, October 9, 2002 have a child or two. Why not? Everyone else in Scarborough under the age of 25 is doing it. You can bring your new ‘accessory’ to Wal-mart for a day of screaming fun. Other mothers from ages 12-25 will welcome you into this new sisterhood. If you are the type that can’t sit still and you want to actually do stuff when you're bored, think “bedroom.” No, not that you pervert. Sleeping is what we're talking about. It is by far one of the top 5 past- times. Another is to open a good bottle of wine, carry it with a glass to your room, turn on some classical music and masturbate profusely while chatting with your cybersex buds online. Or you could always go to the gym and work-off all that tension you’ve been building up. These things are all enjoyable, but one must be realistic. We are at school to study and get good grades, so who really has time to be bored when you are already at least a month behind in your classes, especially if you’ve been in agreement with our thoughts on procrastination. So next time you are sitting around re-evaluating your plans for taking over the world, you should reflect on what might benefit you the most: An education. Note: Sexual intercourse is not considered procrastination, and is part of a complete breakfast. Our weekly words of wisdom: Mufflers make tremendous amounts of noise. So there is an abundance of distraction while playing with bratwurst and toys. The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student life on campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTs PRIZE contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting | Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca 13 The Underground Twenty-five Dollars for a Lesson in Life a rant, by Matt Cimone The whir of the city streets, the patter of footsteps and the clang of the cash register at the Seven Eleven were all swallowed by the high-pitched clicking of the starter motor as Jeff made a futile attempt to start the vehicle. It wasn’t so much the sound itself that made the rest of the world vanish in that moment, but the realization that we were stuck in this parking lot at the corner of Jane and Wilson after midnight. Jeff turned the key again. This time: Nothing. The lights of the car flickered and were extinguished. “Well...” | said, “Time to start asking for jumper cables.” | began to proceed toward another car in the Seven Eleven parking-lot, while Jeff cautiously eyed a group of Honda Civics out front of the Sheridan Mall. A container of poutine sailed passed me, the cheese floating through the air, stretching and straining. Its greasy essence dissolved and became one with asphalt. | followed the imaginary flight path of the favored food until. | recognized its point of origin: A big blue Suburban. “Excuse me ma’am. Do you happen to have any jumper cables?” What | receive for my question is a look of confusion. | could have been from another land in a far off place. Perhaps even from another world. Or perhaps a fifth appendage had grown mysteriously from my body in the last few moments without my notice. But whatever the cause, | decided it was best to continue elsewhere on my quest. In the distance | heard a voice cry out. | turned to see a man running towards us, waving his arms frantically. “Are you having car troubles?” he asked. “Yes. Yes we are.” | replied. Continuing in a thick Italian accent, the man explained to us that he was building a crematorium and his fellow workers had accidentally taken the keys to his car. Jeff and | took quick glances of each other not sure where the next phase of our adventure might lead us. “If you give me the twenty- five dollars to get home, | will find you booster cables and come back tomorrow to the hotel you are staying in to pay you back.” All things considered it was an agreement made in the mental fog of excitement, adrenaline, disparity, and maybe a little ignorance. But there, saturated by light gypsy rain (as my new found European would call the mist) and some confused onlookers from Seven Eleven, a covenant was formed. And so our nameless friend dashed off towards the closest group of people he could find in search of booster cables. “Oh no.” Jeff said watching wide-eyed as our would-be savior dashed towards the flashing cars occupying the Sheridan Mall parking lot. “Meh, they won’t hurt him.” | replied. “I can’t believe you gave him twenty-five dollars! | am getting nervous about this. Let’s just push the car down the road.” But in the spirit of trust and curiosity, we made the decision to stay. A blue Civic lit up its tires, squealed a corner narrowly missing the curb, and pulled into the parking lot beside me. Two figures stepped from the car. Cut off sleeves, gold chains and a business card for an auto detailing company bound them to a subculture that | know nothing about. “Wassup?” Was the only word they said. One of them proceeded to open their trunk. “Oh, | don't have any cables after all.” Something drastically wrong was about to happen in that moment. It wasn’t from me, or Jeff or even the Honda Civic crew, but something just snapped in the night air and suddenly our little Italian friend exploded. “You told me you had cables! Now you have made me into a liar!” His screams caught the attention of the rest of the crowd at the Sheridan Mall. Jeff snapped a quick glance towards me, motioning to get into the car and leave. The men from the Civic began to climb back into their car when our companion screamed at them again. Rants “No wonder you couldn't understand me. You waste your money on all of this.” He lunged forward laying his hands on the subwoofer box in the still open trunk. His hands wrapped around its edges as he began to try to tear it from its mounting. “This is not good. This is not good!” Jeff said. | agreed. “Your crazy man!” yelled the occupants of the Civic as the car sped away. The Italian man ran off and again we were left alone in the parking lot. Jeff threw the car into neutral. “He’s going to get us killed, let's go!” Dodging traffic and ignoring blasts from horns, Jeff and | rolled the car down Wilson back to the Ramada hotel where it stayed, safely, until the following morning. When we arrived he collapsed on the truck. His body heaved with laughter. “I can’t believe you gave that guy twenty-five dollars.” We went back to look for our poor friend, but we did not find him. At least we knew he had the money to get home. And we managed to find a boost the following day. The random moments like these can be some of the most memorable times we ever have. And | firmly believe that we can always find something to be learned in all of them. So what about this particular example? Firstly, always make sure your car battery is in good condition. Secondly, be cautious about taking small town folk like myself with you on big city adventures. We tend to sometimes underestimate what can really happen in potentially dangerous situations. But lastly, as the good Lord tells us, be a cheerful giver. If you someone in the streets, claiming to be lost or poor, it matters little what somebody does with the money that you give them. Certainly they may truly be in need. Certainly they may simply waste it on old habits. But the importance here is not their actions but your willingness to give. | told Jeff that too. “Great, if we go out on one of these adventures again, | will let you be the cheerful one. Single Serving Jack a rant, by Nathan Barnard Upon entering my third year at UTSC | have noticed a disturbing trend which has grown more predominant with the completion of each class. The people | meet here single are serving friends. Between the beginning of the course and the exam we have time together but that’s all we get. This epiphany came from watching “Fight Club” one too many times (hence the title of the article). Despite where | derive my inspiration the paral- lels in this case are too uncanny to be ignored. Now to say the every person I’ve met becomes lumped into this single serving category is a gross gen- eralization, but for the most part, its true. You meet this people in your class, and have your trivial discussions about the week’s readings, assignments and so on and so forth. Does anything ever evolve out of this mild acquaintance? Typically...no. After the class is finished you will rarely see them again and if you do the greeting (if any) is usually sub par. “Why does this happen?” | keep asking myself. Perhaps | am just the kind of person who is truly unbearable and everyone is just avoiding me. However there are several reasons | believe (other then the unlikely stated above) for which this transpires. 1. Lack of common interests: The fact that fellow students are in your program does not mean that you will share anything in common besides being lumped into the same- lecture. Everyone has his or her own tastes and opinions which may or may not conflict with yours. Either way you are less likely to tolerate any grievances from someone who is still basically a complete stranger. If you can’t connect with them on any level besides academic the relationship has a much higher chance of fizzling and becoming just a dead end. A vast majority of the people | met in my first year has faded away for solely this reason. 2. Limited exposure to that individual: Even if the unlikely occurs and you find a commonality from which you can relate, seeing that person for maybe an hour or two a week will not be enough to cement anything remotely substantial. In some cases you may have these people in other classes but once again the time is finite. Talking with them on break or five minutes before you get into the lecture hall does not qualify as a mean- ingful friendship. Most students at UTSC commute to the campus from all regions ranging from downtown, to Markham, to Ajax. The last thing they want to do after class is loiter around the hallways for a pointless con- versation. 3. Lack of ambition: This aspect goes part in parcel with the desire to stick around or even meet outside of campus at a bar, pub or any other place of socialization. Sometimes when your workload is to the point where you mutter all day “I hate my life” you can’t be bothered with trying to get to know somebody better from your latest class. In addition if you already possess a solid circle of friends you are less likely to actively seek out another acquaintance to add into your phone directory. Being lazy is a trait that everyone displays at one time or another and neither you or your single serving friend can really be blamed. 4. An overall recognition that they will become another face in the crowd: This is something that | per- sonally learned when | entered high school. All of your chums from elementary may stay in touch for a while but eventually wander off to new groups of people and then you don’t even remember why you hung around them in the first place. By the fifth year of high school they blend seamlessly into the lockers are you walk down the hall. At university | don’t think that this is any different. Upon graduation it is almost a certainty that you will never encounter any of these folk again. It does sound somewhat pessimistic but there are things in life that you sometimes have to expect. This article sounds like | have had a very bitter experience at UTSC but that is not the case. | have met many wonderful people and made friendships that | will ensure shall never dwindle. Out of every experience, no matter how unbearable at times, will always have positive consequences which should make you a better person. However for the rest of the masses you will all go your separate ways into the real world and eventu- ally forget about your single serving friends. 14 http://www.utsc,utoronto.ca/sundergnd/, .. ,. " Rants Free City Rhymes a rant, by Christian Lucier Last Saturday, | had one of those nights that don’t exactly turn out as planned. However, what did happen far exceeded my expectations for the night. The Saturday night played out as follows. The night began with a mixed group of friends and myself waiting outside the Brunswick House (Ye Olde), more commonly known as the Brunny. If you haven't been to this establishment before, think of it as a toilet after a night of Taco Bell and rye shooters. Rumors have it that this shit hole has even been busted for recycling beer. So, why am | waiting to get into this bar? Beats the hell out of me. | had a few at my friend’s house and she and her friends wanted to come here. At this point, | would have gone to confession just so long as they were serving. The girls had it in their mind that this place was a blast. | would too if | didn’t have to wait in line. The Brunny works under the balanced crowd policy. This means that the bar ensures that there will be an equal mix of both guys and girls. It was just my luck that there were about a billion frigging guys in the line that night. The girls that were with us decided to go in ahead, because as they put it, “You'll be inside in like two minutes!” Bull shit. My two friends and | waited outside for about thirty minutes and believe it or not ended up farther away from the door, go figure? The wait was driving me insane. | have my own policy, “Under no circum- stance should | ever wait for beer.” Just then, one of my buddies said to me, “This bar is bunk.” | had to agree with him, it was pretty lame. The Brunny didn’t have what was required to hold my attention. Its problem was that it was like every other bar: overpriced drinks, loud and obnoxious tunes, and eventually a full blown out sausage party. No thanks, exit stage left. | felt pretty bad leaving my lady friends at the bar, but it was either that or wait another two hours to hear bloody Nelly tell me how hot it was in there. Fuck that noise. About a block down the road, my other friend tells me about this place called the Dance Cave, which is found on the second floor of Lee’s Palace. What the hell? It wasn’t like we had another place in. mind and | was feeling optimis- tic, either that or it was the booze. Lee’s Palace ended up being about five minutes away from the Brunny. Once we got upstairs we found out that there was no cover so long as you had a student card. How sweet it is! My first impression of the Dance Cave was the Emporium from “Dazed and Confused”, except that there was a large hard- wood dance floor with a big disco ball. Conveniently around the dance floor there were numerous comfortable tables and booths. The place wasn’t packed, but it eventually filled out. Drinks were about three dollars and eighty cents if | remember correctly. Not too shabby for downtown. There are three things that are worth mentioning about the Dance Cave. The crowd is excellent. No one cramps your space or gets in your face. Manners actually exist in this bar due to its laid back nature. Basically, the crowd con- sists of some good people simply want- ing to have a good time. The music is phenomenal. Not once did | hear a top forty song. The tunes range from James Brown to T. Rex and best of all, the Cure. The dance floor was on fire. There were moves going on that | hadn't seen since Kid ‘n’ Play tore the roof down in “House Party.” | left the bar satisfied that night. | drank, | laughed, and | cut some serious rug, all because of the quality evening the Dance Cave. Most importantly though, it was a pleasure to have an actual DJ that had a taste in music, as opposed to some Yuppie with a library of “Kiss 92 Jammin’ Slammin’ Beats.” Moral of the story folks: venture into the unknown, take a chance once in awhile, and be open-minded or drink a ton of beer and pretend to be, because you just don’t know where you'll end up. Wherever you do though, pray to Jesus that Nelly isn’t there. Highly qualified graduates will help ith essay research, interactive editing, proposals and winning applications. ESL students welcome. (416) 280-6113 or ustomessay@sprint.ca http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnds . - Wednesday, October 9, 2002 Poor is Cool. a rant, by Kait Raines This summer | had a job that was vaguely in the service industry and usually involved me standing around watching people at large, arsty-pre- tentious parties and making sure the party-goers didn’t do stuff they weren't supposed to. | was largely ignored by the lovely partygoers, unless they wanted me to grill a pita for them, which wasn't my job... anyway, | began to notice something: these presumably well-off artsy folk dug poverty. | mean, this certainly isn’t a new thing - black culture and street culture is always being stolen by big, evil corporations such as Nike - but what was strange was that it wasn’t conventionally cool street culture. | saw all these people wearing foamie baseball caps, plaid jackets, cowboy boots, suspenders and trucking company t-shirts. Basically, it was redneck chic. Then there’s the food. At two parties, they served Chinese food in those cool little cardboard stereotypical Chinese takeout boxes. At another, they served pogo sticks and fish and chips wrapped in newspapers. So, appar- ently, white, working class culture is very cool now with the artsy crowd. | wonder if they go home and watch Roseanne every night. Maybe it’s some ironic thing - we’re so different and far from rednecks, isn't that funny? Perhaps it's a status symbol - /’m dressed like this, but | so don’t have to. Or Maybe they're renouncing the trappings of their wealth. It's probably something close to the fact that being rich isn’t cool anymore, the way its no longer cool for Nike to use it’s trademark swoosh. And speaking of Nike, they’re buying into the whole poor is cool thing too. Did you notice their Nike’s new Presto campaign? It’s sans swoosh and involves hipsters driving around in a beat up van, spray painting stuff with the new Presto logo. It seems to me though, that the real irony is the entire fad itself: fabu- lously wealthy people and companies trying to be cool by pretending to be poor. Yet the people who are really poor are not cool at all. How cool can you be when you can't participate in consumer culture by buying lots of cool luxury goods, electronics and foamie hats? You can’t be cool with just the foamie hat or trucking t-shirt that you actually wear on a regular basis. Unless you have the choice to descend from your $200,000 condo (it’s only a one bedroom) to the dirty street and to change out of your gorgeously overpriced DKNY t-shirt into a stained plaid jacket, you aren't cool, sorry. The only problem is that being poor is not only uncool, it seriously sucks. | was hoping that this fad was contained to the elite artsy world, but then the other day | saw a guy driving a Mercedes. Now that’s not really a big deal at all, except that he had stuck bullet hole decals all over the door. Reboot the Computer Labs a rant, by Meg Hurley | hate to sound like a bitter student venting my problems through the newspaper, but this school has some serious problems. It is bad enough that we do not have a functioning library and we have no quiet study space, but there is an inconvenient shortage of computers in the school. I'm a commuter from Whitby ( Yes, | know I’m crazy ), and on my five hour spares | make use of my time by doing homework. It is a little difficult to type an essay, an article or even a simple email when every single computer in the entire school is occupied by someone writing a five million page essay. | have wandered through the hallways of ever single floor hoping to find a free computer. Either all of them are taken or an annoying message pops up on the screen saying that the computer is logged in by a user and the user has locked it. If you are not sitting at the computer, then you are obviously not using it at that moment in time, so let me! How annoying it is to see an empty computer station, but you are not able to use it because someone has locked it. ; The permanent non-vacancy of the computer labs confirm Geoffrey Micks’ theory in his article from The Underground entitled “A Twelve Step Program Off Your Computer”. It is true that 99% of the UTSC population suffers from a computer addiction because whenever | need to use a computer to do highly classified and very important work, it is a lost cause finding a computer. After such a frustrating experience journeying through the halls ignorantly thinking that | will be able to find a free computer, | feel that the only solution is to buy a laptop computer to use while | am at school. For all those of you who lock the computers to eat lunch, go to class or workout, stop it! 15 The Underground -odgueRants i een nee a enn nn eens Ny aay ea Dae 16 _ ., http:/wwy.uts¢.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Problem-solvers Each week, here at the Underground, the UTSC Problem Solving Initiative will take some time out of their busy schedules to extricate you from any problems that you, the average stu- dent or faculty member, are too stupid (or ignorant!) to solve yourself. Our expert team will provide advice and we'll print the answers right here for everyone to see (don’t worry, we won't print your name). So if you have a problem, some query, quandary, or pickle of any kind, please send it to: make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com (by the way, this is a real address). be pillaging Dear Abby’s popular column and answering her questions, since she is obviously Of course, since no one has sent problems, and we're tired of making up questions, we will incapable of doing so with any coherence, or as my mom says, “any goddamn sense ” “DEAR ABBY”: | am a 39-year-old married woman who has lost all hope. I’m a deeply devout person, which made the divorce from my first husband extremely traumatic. When | remarried, | made a religious commitment to make my second marriage work, and under no circumstances would | ever leave my new husband. ! feel | must honour my pledge - even though there is no love or intimacy anymore. My husband has refused me children and provides me nothing but cold, unwanted solitude in our home. Even though the love is gone (on both sides) and | want out, counseling is not the answer because | have made a pledge to keep my marriage vows. My doctor has tried to help with prescriptions for my constant depres- sion, but they’re not working. My husband is much older than | am and content to have me “there” for him. | feel more trapped in this marriage than | did in my first. - SICK AT HEART Dear Sick, “If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife” (I Corinthians 7:11). You shouldn’t lose hope! At least, not yet. Clearly, you are extremely devoted to your faith and are jacking a place in line to get into Heaven. Don’t screw it up by ending your loveless marriage..AGAIN! ; You’re damn right you should “honour your pledge”! Jesus says that divorce is wrong, and you’ve already done it once. Now you're thinking of doing it again? What are you trying to do, piss off the King of Kings? Where I come from, that’s grounds for a beat-down, Gomorrah-style! You better check yourself before you wreck yourself, girlfriend. The only solution is to suck it up and just DEAL. It can take months for your meds to start working properly, so give it some time. Otherwise, your doctor is obviously incompe- tent if he can’t find something to deal with your “constant depression”. There are a multitude of prescription, non-pre- scription, and illicit substances that will sweep your mental anguish away faster than a five dollar lap-dance. I’m partial to morphine myself. But I digress. As far as “cold, unwanted solitude” goes, how can someone feel alone in their house in the year 2002? Don’t you have Bob Barker, Montel, Ricki, Jenny, Judges Judy, Mathis and Joe Brown, not to mention those wacky folks from ‘Passions’ to keep you company? Or get a fucking dog! You're already treading on thin ice with the Lord from your first divorce. I implore you, He could have a plague of locusts up in your sinning ass like THAT, and don’t think he’s playin either. The Lord ain’t no so-and-so. UPSI Wednesday, October 9, 2002 é vhake oje UPSI is Sachin Hingoo and Chris McKinnon (but not Abigail Van Buren) “DEAR ABBY”: | was married two weeks ago. Every morning, husband gets up at 5:30 and goes to his mother’s house (where he was living before) to eat breakfast and get ready for work. He eats dinner at his mom’s every night and stays there overnight on Friday and Saturday. This is becoming exasperating because | rarely see him, and he isn’t paying his share of our bills. Please help me, Abby. I’m going broke. - BRIDE ON THE BRINK IN MECHANICSVILLE, MD Dear Bride, What a sorry state you’ve gotten yourself into! You've only been married for two weeks and your husband spends that much time with his MOTHER?! There are several possible reasons why your man won’t stay at home, and you’re not going to like any of them. 1) You’ve married a mamma’s boy. You will never be able to compete with his mother for attention as she will always exert more control over him than you can. Get a good lawyer and pro- ceed with the annulment. 2) You’ve married a gay man... Yes, yes, this is an awful stereotype, but you have to wonder about an adult man who wants to spend a Friday night with Mom rather than having crazy-ass newly-wed sex with his wife. Buy a dildo and hang in there. He'll be a good father. 3) You are horribly unattractive. standards. 4) Your new husband suffers from a serious Oedipal Complex. Brush up on your Freud and take him to counseling. If that doesn’t work: Divorce. 5) His mom cooks better than you. Take a cooking class, or get out of the kitchen. If moneys as tight as you say, maybe you should consider the both of you moving in with his mother. That way, you could share him. So, Bride, you know what you have to do. If you can’t leave him, you'll have to resign yourself to being the second woman in his life, at least until the old bag dies. By the time that happens you might be dried and withered, but maybe you'll stand a chance of some inheritance. Whatever you do, don’t bring a baby into this (unless #2 proves correct, in which case go right ahead.) Babies don’t fix loveless marriages; sex toys do. UPSS Find a husband with lower *the opinions expressed in the preceding column are not those of Abby of “Dear Abby” fame. Duh. _ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 17 The Underground Diversions ; § Yet another week has passed, and it is time once again for another column of diversions. This y week team diversions has decided to provide you with one more excuse to waste your time, K e i ly Li S | e and recycle your paper. We like to call this special something origami. & Ayshia Degia It all started last Wednesday when, while cleaning out a box of random crap, Kelly rediscovered her love of paper, and folding it into random, and exciting objects. It’s fun, and practical, so why not share this great experience with the student body? After many hours searching for an appropriate origami model for you all to make, we abandoned hope, and chose one that you would at the very least find amusing. And on that note here are the slightly confusing and somewhat complicated instructions for making your very own (highly entertaining) dynamic penis. We suggest that you make use of Julie and Sophie’s article on page 17 in this paper (because it's never that great anyway), to make an appropriately large-sized sheet of origami folding paper... 16 |jnJaAa/uiqneuy40z punosBsapun‘Mwmy//:dyy ‘aBedqam Bulmojjoj ay} Woy pabeyjid sem aaoge uses Wesbelp ay, Eyefull Tower @ Nick Robinson 1987 rer ere ee we wR Ow Se Se eS eee Oe ww se eee ee ee Seles ate es = ee Ble Sale ares et tee eo oe 2 ee 18 . MAE Tie http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Ui gans ne PROM PEW de ie River Wednesday, October 9, 2002 Events se underground events... The following is a listing of events information e city, events websites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know sfit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by NTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca grount/ond its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the A such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of of an event sending an ame The any contact informati n provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Oct. 11 Friday Workshop Series. feat. Irina Guletsky, “The Symbolism of Form in the Renaissance Mass”, Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen's Park, Room 205, 3:15 p.m. Oct. 11 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Eloge de l'amour. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Oct. 12 Toronto Sinfonietta Concert. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles St., W. 416-233-7468 Oct. 13 Homohop. All ages-party to be held at Sive nightclub, 5 St. Joseph St. Doors open at 8pm, and close at 2am. Oct. 17 to 21 Toronto International Art Festival. Metro Toronto Convention Centre, 255 Front St. W., noon to 8p.m. $16 stu/srs, $40 for 4 day pass. 416-872-1212. Oct. 17 Art Attack. Tranzac Club, 292 Brunswick Ave. 9 - 11p.m. Music, art-making and fun. Free. Info: 416-889-2837 Oct. 18 Friday Workshop Series. feat. Sheila Das, “Paolo Sarpi: History and the Intolerable”, Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205, 3:15 p.m. Oct. 18 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Repulsion, preceded by Two Men and a Wardrobe. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Oct. 18 - University of Toronto Anime and Role-playing Association (UTARPA) presents a film festival in the Sir Sandford Fleming Building, 10 King’s College Road, Room 1105. Doors Open at 6:00 PM 6:30pm Slayers TRY! ep. 21-23 7:45pm Vandread ep. 4-5 English Dubbed 9:00pm BREAK 9:30pm Princess Nine ep. 9-10 10:30pm Hellsing ep. 1 11:00pm Blood The Last Vampire Oct. 18, 19 Chinese Dance Workshop. Isabel Bader Theatre. 93 Charles St. W. 416- — 978-3113 Oct. 18 to 20 Gourmet Food and Wine Expo. Metro Toronto Convention Centre, _ 255 Front St. W., for more info call 416-626- 8096x309 or see website at: http://foodandwineshow.ca Oct. 19 Ya Hala - A Festival of Arab Culture. York Quay Centre, Harbourfront Centre. 235 Queen’s Quay W. More info: 416-973-3000 Oct. 19 Fetish Masquerade. The Reverb, 651 Queen St. W. Strict fetish dress-code. $10 at the door. 10p.m. Oct. 19 Introduction to Tabla Ensemble. Learn how the percussion system from North india works, with Toronto Tabla Ensemble AD Ritesh Das. M-DO Centre for World Music and Dance, 50 Spadina. $30, 4 - 6p.m. Info: 416-306-0332. Oct. 20 Big Band Jazz, Second Annual Benefit Concert for the Victoria Endowment for the Performing Arts, with the Dave McMurdo Jazz Band. Tickets $40/$25 students, call (416)813-4098, 2:30 p.m Oct. 20 Black Venus Undressed: An urban exploration of erotica. Tequila Lounge, 794 Bathurst. $15 per person, $25 per couple. Doors open at 7:45p.m., show starts at 8: 30p.m. Details and ticket info: http:/www.undressed.ca Oct. 21 The University Professor Lecture Series: Janice Stein, “Held to Account: Challenges of Governance from the Local to the Global’. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles St. West, 7:00 p.m. Oct. 22 T. Cooper reads from her novel Some of the Parts. Through the lives of the 4 main characters the reader gets drawn into issues such as terminal illness, gender freaking, sexuality, motherhood and love. After the bookreading, enjoy the screening of T.Cooper’s drag king troupe, “The Back Door Boys”. Toronto Women’s Bookstore, 73 Harbord Street. Admission is free. Oct. 23 Victoria Women’s Association presents “Our Lady of the Birches: Methodist Mothers and Mary of Nazareth”, feat. Rev. Dr. Peter Wyatt. Alumni Hall,121 St. Joseph Street. 2:00 p.m. Oct. 23 - 27 ImagineNative Media Arts Festival. Various locations and times. See website for details. http:/www.imaginenative.org/ Oct. 25 Institute for Women’s Studies and Gender Studies Public Lecture Series 2002-2003 presents, Theorizing Transnationality, Gender and Citizenship, feat. Kum Kum Bhavnani, “Re-imagining Development: Reflections from a (Socialist) Feminist,” Contact for more info: info@womensbookstore.com Oct. 25, 26; Art Nova; America in Belgrade. Isabel Bader Theatre. 93 Charles St. W. e- mail: voda.zikic@sympatico.ca Oct. 28 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. Basil Johnston. West Hall of University College, 15 King's College Circle. 7:00 p.m Nov. 1 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Vampyr. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 6 Jeanette Winterson, internationally acclaimed author reads from her latest novel The Power-Book (Random house). Young Peoples Theatre, 165 Front St. East Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door. 7:00p.m. Call 416-922-8744 Nov. 7 Fourth Annual S.D. Clarke Lecture in Sociology feat. Charles Tilly, Joseph L. Buttenweiser, Professor of Social Sciences at Columbia University. Auditorium, University of Toronto Schools, 371 Bloor Street West Time: TBA Nov. 7 Vic Chorus Concert, Victoria College Chapel, 8:00 p.m. Nov. 7 Woodsworth Fall Lecture: The Good, The Bad & The Profiled: Race, Deviant Behaviour & Police Stop-and- Search Practices. Feat. Professor Scot Wortley, University of Toronto Centre of Criminology, Bissell Building room 205. 4: 30 p.m. Admission is free. Information: 416.978.5301. Nov. 7 - 27 Conscious Eating: A Transformational Course for Women. w/ Annahid Dashtgard. 6 - 8p.m. $40, register at the Toronto Women's Bookstore. info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 8. Friday Workshop Series, feat. lan Sloan. Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m Nov. 8 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Yi Yi: A One and a Two... Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 8 Institute for Women's Studies and Gender Studies Public Lecture Series 2002- 2003 presents Theorizing Transnationality, Gender and Citizenship, feat. Jacqui Alexander, “The State and the Making of Sexual Citizens” For more info contact: info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 10 Signs of Hope in the Middle East. Conference, afternoon session at 14:30 OISE Auditorium, 252 Bloor Street W Free! Speakers include: Prof. Atif Kubursi, Economics, “The background of the conflict”; Prof. Elia Zureik, “The Palestinian refugees’; Rula Sharkawi, “A visit to women in Israel and the West Bank”; Henry Lowi, “The Israeli public at the crossroads”. Nov. 10 Signs of Hope in the Middle East. Conference, evening session at 20:00 Bloor Street United Church, 300 Bloor Street W. Speaker: Noam Chomsky, “Prospects for Peace: Hopes and Barriers.” $10, tickets available only in advance from the Toronto Women's Bookstore, no telephone reservations. Nov. 12 Alumni of Victoria College Seminar “Is Canada Fading from the American Consciousness” with Marci MacDonald. Admission $10 for Scarlet & Gold Members, $20 for non-members, contact the Vic Alumni Office to register at 416-585-4500. Nov. 12 Friends of the Library: An Illustrated Lecture “Authors, Editors, Compilers: Formation of Sacred Texts - The Bible and Beyond.” Speaker: Dr. Sol Nigosian, Victoria College, 91 Charles St. W., Room 115, 4:30 p.m. Nov. 15 Public Lecture “The Suanders Portrait: Why Does it Matter?” Speaker: Alexander Leggatt. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles S. W. 5:00 p.m. Nov. 15 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. He Liu {The River]. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 18 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. Marie Campbell. West Hall of University College, 15 King's College Circle. 7:00 p.m Nov. 18 “Gender and race in Writing” feat. Shani Mootoo, the author of the award- wining Cereus Blooms at Night in discussion with Jean Noble and Trish Salah. University College room 179. 15 King’s College Circle. 7:30 p.m Nov. 22 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Hsi Yen [The Wedding Banquet] Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 25 The University Professor Lecture Series, feat. Martin Friedland. “Reflections: A History of the University of Toronto” Location: Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park. 7:00 p.m Nov. 27 Victoria Women’s Association presents “The New Program for First Year Students” Speaker: Dr. David Cook, Principal, Victoria College. Alumni Hall, 2:00 p.m. Nov. 27 to Dec. 1 REEL ASIAN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. website for more details. http:/Awww.reelasian.com/ See Nov. 30 End of Term Party This event will celebrate the affiliation of the Toronto Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies with the Sexual Diversity Studies Program and the launch of several scholarships for Sexual Diversity Studies Students. Come and meet other faculty and students who are associated with the program. 5:00p.m.-8:30p.m. University College Room 240 Dec. 6. Friday Workshop Series, feat. Mark Crane, “The Use of bonae literae in Sixteenth-Century France”. Northrop Frye Hall. 73 Queen's Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m. Dec. 6 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Meet Me in St. Louis. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p:m. Dec. 7. Graduates’ Christmas Luncheon with Jane Pepino, “Reflections from a Froshie at Mid-Life: What | wish I’d known in 1965”, tickets: $15, please contact the Alumni Office to register (416-585-4500), 12:00 p.m Dec. 9 Public Lecture: SCREWING THE SYSTEM: MASCULINITIES, MONEY & FETISHISM by Professor Anne McClintock. Great Hall, Hart House. 7 Hart House Circle, 7:00p.m. Free. Info: (416) 922-8744 ——_—_.—“n"o—— oN utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 NEW YORK CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGE «Doctors automa- tons are crammed into the same freakin’ hallway trying to get some ‘chicken-stew in a bread-bowl’. Well, fuck it! | don’t care if you can eat the bowl: the stew is so mediocre and the bread’s as stale as grandma. Whatever this business is at UTSC where we latch onto anything new or better, cling to it, and talk about it like it makes us special and vindicates all the badness we've suffered through, and we try to convince ourselves that UTSC really sucked... Until now. Now, with the introduction of “nice/ good” thing (which incidentally seems often to be cosmetic, like new lockers) we have stepped away from the badness of that chapter of UTSC History, into a new chapter where nice/good thing repre- sents a new golden era of happiness and harmony at UTSC, free from the badness of before: class in tents, libraries without hardly any books at all, a pub tucked up in the top of the Bladen Building that hasn't been open for regular business in ages. But hey, the nice/good thing erases all that, in this case with a snack pack of Timbits. What? What /S that? Man, whatever that is, it sounds like crazy-talk and it’s got to stop. This Tim Horton’s should have been on campus long before now. The demand has always been here; anyone who's old enough will be hard-pressed to forget the Dark Days of the evil Coffee Time, it’s beverages also hinting of that faint “godt d’ass”; and they will also remember how many Tim Horton’s coffee-cups were to be found littered around the school at all hours of the day or night, and they might even remember seeing desperate students from the residences climbing up the hill to Neilson Plaza through sleet or freezing-rain or snowstorms to get to the Tim Hortons there, in all its full-sized operation with 24-hour drive-through glory. And now that Aramark, or Food Services or whoever has finally brought in the right franchise, well shucks kids, they didn’t bother to build it big enough. That line-up won't be getting any shorter with all those brand-spanking newly-graduated high-school brats rolling in here next fall. My patience, on the other hand, wears exceedingly thin. Don’t expect that this mess will get cleaned up any time soon. It’s like moving the Bookstore into a smaller space last year even though there will be more and more students needing to get into the store. Don't like the line-ups? Tough. Get your books online. The Tiny Tim’s goes right down in the books with that gazebo off the H-Wing patio that was condemned right after it was erected. Ladies and gentlemen, another dazzling display of solid planning from those sharp bureaucratic- types upstairs. .Why on god’s earth you'd think to stick a gazebo that big on the edge of the big sinkhole that is the Valley is beyond me... How such a blundering initiative eluded the critical eye of the UTSC community as a whole, especially given the presence of some sort of pre-eminent Soil Erosion Laboratory on just the opposite side of the S-Wing... Well, that one leaves me flum- moxed. Why worry about doing things right the first time? Why worry about anything at all? Why not stand up in line, pompoms held high-over- head, and declare to the world that UTSC does not suck! UTSC does not suck, because now we have a Tim Hortons, where we can get hyper-caf- feinated coffee to keep us awake and tuna-sand- wiches “made-fresh-before-your-eyes”. Shake your ass and give me a “T-I-M. H-O-R-T-O-N-S.” What does that spell? You guessed it. It spells “UTSC doesn’t suck anymore because we’ve got a COFFEE SHOP that’s too small; so small in fact that it can’t even handle the morning rush with- out blocking a MAIN ARTERIAL HALLWAY and disrupting the movement of students to and from their ACADEMIC COURSES.” Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief “The more things change, the more they are the same.” - Alphonse Karr (1808-1890) http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, October 23, 2002 The Earth is about to Die Screaming: Didn't anyone at this university attend high school? There is something going on in our school that | cannot quite understand. | hear the discontent in the hallways. | see it scribbled in study spaces. But the fact that you are in the school and sitting at the study spaces seems to contradict the very thing you are saying. You say you hate school. You don’t want to be here. Yet you come back, every year, and pay $6000 tuition fee. You waste your time, and mine in turn, as you come into class late, after a fifteen-minute mid-class break, gig- gling, carrying your Tim Horton's coffee and crumpling that little paper bag holding your donut. Every one turns and looks, the professor pauses momentarily; concen- tration broken. Why are you here? You have no desire to be. | cannot understand. To further the problem, there seems to be another odd circumstance that I’m not quite sure | grasp either. As Drunken Philosopher The Other suggested, “There are some students here who arguably never attended high school.” | do not know the actual numbers, but | do believe that most of the students here are from Ontario and attended high school in Ontario. | did not attend high school in Ontario, so | cannot say that | know what Ontario high school is like. But | cannot imagine that it is too terribly different than the high school | went to. | cannot believe that they did not teach you basic study skills, basic essay writing skills, or basic skills of any sort. Yet | find in every class that | attend that | am encountering immeasurably unnerving peculiarities. Last year, in an introductory English course, the pro- fessor had come across a general problem in students’ writing so many times that she felt the need to bring it to the attention of the class. The problem was the use of complete sentences. Here | am, first year of university, and | am being reminded, “Do not use sentence frag- ments.” (M. Bannerman) While this is incredible in its self, the professor’s list goes beyond just that. | was so incredulous that | wrote the entire list down so | could to show it to other people, and ask them if it was possible that | was the one whose mind wasn’t working quite right. But my amazement was shared. Here are a few more problems that recurred so many times that she felt the need to specifically address them: “Spell author’s name correctly. Punctuate titles-novels, poems, short stories, plays-correctly. [. . .| Use apostrophes correctly, especially its, it’s. Use the correct form of there/they're/ their. [. . .] Indent paragraphs. [. . .] Know the form of a work you are discussing.” Should | continue? How about a review of ideas in Writing Workshop? Regarding essays, the class most intelligently thought of the follow- ing during a mid-year review: “Intros are important! Be specific; use details. Be prepared. Have a good conclu- sion.” That wonderful list could continue just as long as the former list, but | think you feel what I’m saying here. | just stated that my amazement about these difficul- ties was shared. So where are these students who need these reminders and reinforcements? | can only assume that some of the readers of this article are the same stu- denis whose essays inspired the need for these infantile reviews of writing. Where do you come from? | would like to make a concession to some argument that the instances | have just spoken of were first year classes, and that the purpose of these classes are to be, as they are labeled, introductory courses to their respective disciplines. But | will not and | cannot make that concession. In a second year English course | am Editor’s Note: I realise that the headline above has no relevance to this article whatsoever. But you read it anyway, didn’t you? taking - one that has the prerequisite of passing two introductory English courses - | still encounter the ques- tion, “What do you expect of us‘on the essay for the mid- term?” Should there be anyone in their second year of university who does not understand that when one has an essay on their exam it means that one must write a formal essay which does nothing more than, but nothing less than, answer the goddamn essay question? In the words of Drunken Philosopher Some Other, in response to a philosophy lecture made particularly dry and absurd by a handful of ignorant students, “! cannot believe that this is second year university.” So what do you want from your $6000 a year? You don’t want to be here. You skip class on a regular basis. When you do attend class you are late, or you just make a general nuisance of yourself. It seems unfathomable that you even got accepted. Though it is impossible for you to be here without a high school diploma it doesn’t appear that you attended high school at all. Please help me; | have no idea what to think of it all. This is an institution of higher learning, where question-asking is encouraged, and rightfully should be. However, there should be a line drawn as to what exactly is a question worthy of the attention of a profes- sor, or, indeed, anybody. It would certainly seem that the professors of our school are no less troubled by the student body than We Three Drunken Philosophers. As a last remark | would like to pose a question to the UPSI: Is it ethical for either a student or professor to bring to the attention of the class the sheer ridiculous- ness of another student's question? On behalf of We Three Drunken Philosophers, | remain most sincere, Drunken Philosopher An Other http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground Frog In My Throat Merika I. Ramundo Every week | pick up a NOW Magazine and the first thing | do is flip to the last page and read Dan Savage’s column Savage Love. | love the Savage Love. | love the Savage Love because people are not afraid to write to Dan about anything and everything having to do with sex (UTSC Underground readers should use this statement as an example of good readership and write me)! Bestiality, sado-masochism, golden showers, adultery, relationships of any kind - you name it, he’s written about it and definitely voices his opinion on it. Last week’s entry (October 17th - 23rd edition) was no exception, except that Dan pissed me off by insulting French Canadians. |’m not going to get into the prover- bial nuts and bolts of the article because you can read it for yourself, but in a nutshell Mr. Savage likened U.S. religious groups to French Canadians stating that “As far as I’m concerned, French Canadians and religious jackasses are six of one, half dozen of the other.” Now call me crazy, but | have to disagree with him on this one. | was born and raised in Quebec and even though I’m not French Canadian myself, as far as I’m concerned, French Canadians are fantastic people. Here are my top 10 reasons why we should all embrace Quebeckers: 10. All you double-cohorters can get a jump start on your alcohol consumption. The legal drinking age in Quebec is 18. 9. All universities in Quebec have a working pub (n.b. - all clubs and pubs stay open until 3pm. Last call: 2pm. Can it get any better than this in Canada?) 8. Where else can you go for the best smoked meat, bagels, orange julep strippers and poutine in the world? Oh yeah, and we have tons of other natural resources. 7. Quebeckers learn French (our other national language), not half-assed French like the rest of Canada, eh. 6. Quebeckers are passionate about something. 5. Quebeckers hate Celine Dion just as much as you do! 4. Ever heard of Rocket Richard? 3. If it wasn’t for this sovereignty thingy, what would keep the Canadian government on their toes, Preston Manning? Je ne pense pas. 2. Quebeckers can seriously psych you out if you are not nice to them while driving on any highway. 1. Quebeckers have some of the best swear words. Swear words in joual are almost entirely depen- dent on words taken from the Roman Catholic mass. My favourites are ‘hostie’ (also spelled esti) for the Host, “caulisse” for the chalice, and “tabarnak” for taberna- cle. Now | segue way back to Mr. Savage's religious and French Canadian “jackasses”. | have responded to Mr. Savage formally by e-mail but | highly doubt that he will print my response in his column this week, so here it is in all its glory. Enjoy! Cher Monsieur Savage, Your lumping together of American religious jack- asses and the French Canadians of the world puzzles me greatly. | grew up in Montreal, Quebec as an allophone (my.mother tongue was neither English nor French) and although | experienced many instances where | might have called French Canadians jack- asses (francophone kids would spit on my sister and | as we walked along our own street), | didn’t. Know why? Because French Canadians are some of the most passionate, creative giving people in the world. Yes, they have their convictions. Yes, they are political thorns in the side of the Canadian government. BUT the French Canadians | know have made some of the best lovers, conversationalists and revolutionaries this world has ever seen! Forget about Celine Dion for a minute and think of Louis Garneau. You talk of the Queen of England and our patriotism towards the crown. Well, Mr. Garneau, a French Canadian and former champion cyclist broke protocol this past week and placed his arm around the shoulder of Queen Elizabeth II. All cheap feels aside, French Canadians are not jackasses...they might be shit-disturbers, but they certainly are not jack- asses. -Frenchynono ASSOCIATION OF BIOLOGY AND CHEMISTRY STUDENTS WE HOLD NUMEROUS EVENTS OVER THE ACADEMIC YEAR INCLUDING... * SEMINARS ON DENTISTRY AND PHARMACY (in November) “SEMINARS ON GRADUATE SCHOOLS * MOCK MCAT AND DAT WE WELCOME YOIU TO JOIN US™ Visit our website http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~ abcs/ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : a| ee eet es ae we ‘Are you in favour of SCSU joining CFS? Send us your thoughts, letters and opinions... email The Underground at: undergnd@utsc. utoronto.ca Wednesday, October 23, 2002 SS AF S SCSU poised to join Canadian Federation of Students by Dinesh Fernando and Chris McKinnon Dan Bandurka president of the SCSU held an emergency meeting of the SCSU Board of Diorectors on October 17, 2002. The reason for the meeting was to discuss UTSC’s membership in the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS). With the deadline for memberships drawing near there were still some matters requiring discussion with regards to SCSU's bid to join the national student lobby-group. SCSU is required to submit a notification of the intention to join CFS to the university 14 days in advance, according to SCSU by- law 2. This would give students enough time to formulate an opinion and vote on the issue. The fate of UTSC’s membership in CFS will be the subject of a referendum set to take place November 5 - 7, 2002. he here Canadian Federation of Students is an organization that was formed in 1981 to voice the opinions and needs of students all across Canada. They address Bandurka. “It’s an investment in an organization that will assist in time, to reduce tuition fees.... We don't want fo pay anymore.” says many issues such as government funding of education, cost of living increases and student rights. CFS was the organising force behind last spring’s “National Day of Action”, which took place on February 6, 2002. Protests took place across Canada, in an attempt to raise public awareness of rising tuition fees due to lack of government funding. Much media-attention was given to the protests, documenting the plight of students. CFS was also an integral part of the 1989 defeat of larger efforts by student lobby-groups. CFS also provides students with the International Student Identity Card, a student health and dental insurance program and access to SWAP, a student work abroad program. The ISIC can also be used as a discount card, accepted in over 60 countries including Canada. CFS, however, does not provide these services to students free of charge. UTSC proposed membership to CFS would mean an increase in ancillary fees by the federal government's $12.50. attempt to apply GST 66 . ENA SL With regard to to tuition fees, campus GES IS pretty left WING. the issue of further residences and meal plans. fees increases, SCSU They also planned the 1991 rally against the proposed imposition of a 3% tax on Canada Student Loans. More recently CFS has come under fire from other national student lobby-groups, such as CASA, the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations, and FEUQ, La Federation Etudiante Universitaire du Quebec, for therir extremist views. In an article written last month by Adam Grachnik of the Canadian University Press’ Ottawa Bureau, CASA representatives are quoted as saying “CFS is pretty left-wing. They have some _ harsh statements about tuition.” CFS’ national chairperson is quoted as responding “[Our] position on tuition is clear and non-negotiable with other groups.” CFS is well-known for its unwillingness to compromise. This has prompted some concerns that CFS’ heavy-handed tactics are counter-productive to They have some harsh statements about tuition.” President, Dan Bandurka, feels that it is a worthy cause, saying: “It's an investment in an organization that will assist in time, to reduce tuition fees.... We don’t want to pay anymore.” SCSU'’s official statement has been in support of CFS membership, particularly the national organisation's views on issues such as increased tuition fees and cost of living expenses. Since 1997, tuition fees have increased by as much as 126% and the average student debt at graduation has risen from $8000 to $25,000. Such increases have prompted action and lobbying by many student groups, including the Nova-Scotia Student Advocacy Coalition (NSSAC), the College Student Alliance (CSA), CASA, FEUQ and CFS. CFS will set-up an information booth in the Meeting Place over the next few weeks to educate UTSC students about their organization and to ask students to vote for UTSC to join CFS. SCSU releases CFS referendum question On Monday, October 21, 2002, SCSU released the ballot for the coming referendum that will decide whether or not UTSC’s stu- dent union joins the Canadian Federation of Students. The referendum is set to be held November 5 - 7, 2002. The question on the refer- endum ballot will read: http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Preamble: services to students. Question: By voting yes’ below, you are indicating that you support an additional portion ($6.27 for full-time students or $3.14 for part-time students per session) to be collected with your student society fee Each student would pay the fee through the appropriate student society, either the Students’ Administrative Council (SAC), the Association of Part-Time Undergraduate Students (APUS), or the Scarborough Campus Students’ Union (SCSU) The Canadian Federation of Students is a national and provincial students’ organization with over 450,000 members The Federation was formed in 1981 to advocate for an affordable, high quality system of post-secondary education, and to provide cost-saving The current membership fee for the Canadian Federation of Students is $3.42 per session for full-time students or $1.71 per session for part-time students The current membership fee for the Canadian Federation of Students - Ontario is $2.85 per session for full-time students or $1.43 per session for part-time students The fees are adjusted up or down each year by the rate of increase or decrease in the Canadian Consumer Price Index (CPI) during the previous calendar year Are you in favour of membership in the Canadian Federation of Students and the Canadian Federation of Students - Ontario , as described in the preamble? The Underground Missed an exam? Don't forget your doctor's note! Petitioning for a course credit or deferred exam might be more complicated fhan you thought... What is the most important piece of reading material at UTSC? If you think it’s your textbooks, you are wrong (although | do recommend them). It’s the little book called the Calendar; which has more than just classes in it. Very few students actu- ally read the back of this book, which indicates many relatively unknown rules at Scarborough, rules that each and every student should know in order to have complete success at school. Let me paint you a picture: It's the second day of school, in my second year. | won a scholarship through my mother’s work, and | had to get it endorsed by the school, so | was on ROSI to check and see if it had been cashed. My account bal- ance was paid in full, which | found odd. So | checked my progress and noticed that | had been suspended from school for one year. | knew that | was on academic probation (what- ever that meant), and that | was in the hospital during my final exam for a summer school course, so | failed that course. What | didn’t know was the regulations concerning grades, petitions and appeals; these would become the whole of my life for the following semester. As you may know, the school does have many rules and regula- tions which are followed to the letter. When you petition, you are asking for special permission to break a rule and it is a serious matter. You must have really good justification for this request, considering its not really fair to go about and change rules all the time. After speaking with Prof. lan McDonald, UTSC’s Associate Dean and a generally knowledgeable guy, | learned about the petitions process in ways that | wasn’t already familiar. According to Professor McDonald, most of the problems that students have which lead them to petition could be avoided if they just knew the rules (do you see a theme here?). Another important docu- ment that the school provides to all students is the registration guide. This outlines many of the important dates that students must know, regarding adding classes and more importantly, dropping classes without academic penalty. Notice that these dates are not the same as the regis- trar’s office’s dates for repayment of funds. If you wish to petition to drop a Class past the deadline, you need a weighty excuse. The school encour- ages you to know the deadlines, and seriously consider your progress. If you don’t think you will pass, drop the course! As mentioned above, the repayment of fees is an issue with the registrar’s office, and is not a petition-able issue. You wake up one day feeling like crap, and not just because you have an exam. What do you do? Here at Scarborough it is recommended that you attempt the exam if you are physically able to do so. When you arrive at your exam, make sure the invigilator is aware of your illness and see a doctor that day. If you decide that your performance in the exam was impaired, then you can make a petition. Have the doctor that saw you on the day of your exam fill out a U of T Medical Certificate, found online at www.utoronto.ca/health/ medcert.pdf . For more specific information, see the Calendar. So you've decided to petition. Well, there are certain rules which cannot be appealed. Any term work has no basis for petitioning, as it can be dealt with by your Prof or Department Chair. Another thing that all students should be aware of is degree requirements. There are never any exceptions made for this. No, you cannot graduate a half-credit short and yes, you have to take Math A26. UTSC cannot override the deci- sions made by other campuses, but if you want to petition for a course taken downtown you must petition through Scarborough. Here are a few things to remember that will help make your petition stronger: Use brief, persuasive explanations. One page of clear and concise jus- tification is much better than pages and pages of drivel. Think carefully about what you are writing and make sure your points are logical and well Keescha Beauchamp explains... supported. Give exact dates, ref- erences from the Calendar and Registration Guide that indicate you know the rules. Include a medical certificate if it is a medical reason, a note from the judge if you had jury duty, or anything that proves that you were unable to be around on the day of an exam, or whatever it is that you are petitioning. A bit on your GPA: do not let it drop below 1.6. Once you go below this magic number you get put on academic probation. If, after one term (and summer counts as one term, equal in value to fall or winter) your GPA has not risen above 1.6, you get suspended for one year. This is also clearly outlined in the Calendar. After going through the process of petitioning, you are denied. Now _ what? Well if you haven't already, make an appointment with the Academic Advisors in the Career Centre. They can tell you if you have grounds for appeal, which is the next level up. Perhaps you need further documentation, in which case you can simply petition again. If you intend to appeal, however, you had better have an excellent reason. The appeals process is a little differ- ent than the petitions. The student shows up in person, and pleads his or her case. If your appeal is then denied and you still believe you are in the right, there is a third level up from the subcommittee on academic appeals, which is the governing council. Taking your case this high happens very rarely. You might just have to give up and concede that you made a mistake. UTSC is very understanding of problems that stu- dents face, and no well-documented, Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo Just read “No Logo” The world is pretty messed up | like Big Macs though. properly reasoned petition will be denied. If your petition has been denied then there is probably a good reason for it. The school receives approximately 2000 petitions a year, and roughly half are granted. The take-home message from this article is to simply read the Calendar, and know the rules. If you never get yourself in a jam, then you will never have to use the informa- tion listed above. Feel free to forget about it. Yet sometimes events occur that are out of your control and you miss an exam or something similar. In that case, it would be in your best interests to know about the pro- cesses involved.. After one harrowing petition, | was denied a deferred suspension on the grounds that | should have dropped my summer course by the deadline and even still, | should have petitioned to write a deferred exam by the last day of the exam cycle. Of course, | was still in the hospital. It wasn’t until my meeting with the Subcommittee on Academic Appeals that my deferred exam and suspension were granted. An exam that was supposed to be written in August 2001 was written in April 2002. And it was first year Calculus; just so you can understand how hard it was for me to relearn everything. | passed and am now trying to catch up in school by taking mostly second year courses that | could not enrol in last year. | am hoping to graduate only one semester late. All of this could have been avoided if | had just known the rules, which is why | am sharing this with the student body. Don’t make the same mistake | did, and you will be fine. Good luck! New Year's « Spring Break 20,000 students partied with us last year! Montreal som $229 Quebec City fiom $229 Daytona Beach tom $199 Panama City Beach jon $299 Acapulco tom $1249 Tobooka Breakway Tours package, contact: wat(ciavyiedlfciuntise a Wednesday, October 23, 2002 Skateboarders Descend on the Hershey West 49 Skateboard Canadian Open draws 10,000 by Matt Capper For most of us, we spent thanksgiv- ing catching up with friends and family, relaxing and stuffing ourselves with turkey, ham and much more. While we were all doing that, about 10 000 people and 150 athletes packed the Hershey Center in Mississauga for the West 49 Skateboard Canadian Open. People came from all over the globe for this event, the first of its kind in Mississauga, just to catch a glimpse of their favorite skateboarder and maybe even get an autograph or two. With a $50 000 prize pot at stake those who showed up were not disappointed. Professional and amateur skateboarders from all over the world gave their best and the spectators got more than they might ever have at a football, hockey or basketball game. The competition was divided into two parts, the street competition -where skat- ers are given one minute to do their stuff around a well designed street course and then the vert competition -this is the event that most of us know, where the skaters are given two minutes to do as much as they can on a 20 foot vert ramp. The top prize in the street competition went to Dayne Brummet from San Diego, followed closely by Rodney Jones(USA) and Chris Dobstaff(USA). In the Vert Center ramp, Pierre Luc-Gagnon from Montreal took first place as expected and was followed by Sandro Dias(BRA) and Anthony Furlong(USA). As for the ladies street finals, first place went to Lauren Perkins out of Huntington Beach, CA with Honolulu’s Jaime Reyes in second and New Jersey’s Lauren Mollica in third. This weekends events went off with out a hitch, not surprisingly, thanks to the great organization of West 49 and Masev Communications. Along with the great skateboarding, came some really talented bands such as Montreal’s The Snitches and Maestro Fresh-Wes. We also saw local band Video Dead, hail- ing from Burlington Ontario, really rock the house of unusual and mixed musical tastes. However Friday night proved to be the best night, music-wise, as the Official launch party sold out the Opera House in Toronto. Live performances by the Bouncing Souls and Jersey provided what many of the skaters called a fun- filled night. One of the most interesting things about this weekend was seeing the way that everyday people, skateboard- ers, were transformed into celebrities no matter who they were or where they were from. Standing back and watch- ing kids swarm around the athletes for autographs was truly unreal. The most surprising of these athletes, was 9 year old Max Lambert, who was often fol- lowed around by kids twice his age, and their parents, seeking autographs to take home. We might ask if a 9 year old really even has a signature? No matter. Kerry Getz , one of the world's best skateboarders, gave his fans a big treat when asked to sign autographs. With a simple reply of “I do not sign autographs” Kerry would stand and chat to his fans for ten or fifteen minutes. Those few who had the guts to approach him received something much better than a signature: A moment of personal contact with an idol, to cherish. This event furhter demonstrates how skateboarding continues to evolve. It is no longer regarded as a deviant sport for little kids; and there are more skate- boarders out there competing than Tony Hawk and the list of characters from his video games. The second West 49 Skateboard Canadian Open will be taking place next fall, once again at the Hershey Center. Crimes of Opportunity... Don't Become a Victim - Simple tips for prevention by Cpl. Chris Moy Every year the UTSC Police receive complaints about the loss or theft of personal property such as_ wallets, purses, laptop computers and gym bags. Unfortunately, many of these thefts could have been prevented. Many students feel that because they are at their school their property will be safe. This is not always the case. In the majority of instances, property is stolen when left unattended, even for a short duration of time. Quite often, as in the case of wallet thefts, the wallet is found in a washroom, staircase or garbage receptacle some- time after the theft. Wallets are routinely turned into the UTSC Police office filled with identification and credit cards minus cash. While some of these items are eventually recovered and returned to the owner, many more are never located and must be replaced by the victim. Replacing books and wallets that acti hey. ute. utoronto. cal-undengnd/ have been lost or stolen affects more than your bank account. The personal cost - the inconvenience, frustration, time and energy involved - can’t be measured in monetary terms, but they are just as real. What can you do? Here are a few simple steps you can take to avert lost or stolen property: Place your name or an_identify- ing number inside or on your property. People commonly use their Driver’s Licence number for identification pur- poses. Keep desks, cabinets, lockers, rooms, and office spaces locked. This will help to prevent theft, even if you will only be away for a minute. Never leave your bags, books or purses unattended on a table, desk, floor or in a classroom, even for a second! It doesn’t take long to become a victim of a theft. Keep a list of your valuables com- plete with photographs for identification and insurance purposes in the event they are lost or stolen. Use registration programs like Operation Identification or bike registration to make an official trace- able record of your property. Place only the credit cards and iden- tification that you actually need in your purse or wallet, and secure the remain- der at home. For example, if you are not leaving the country right after your visit to UTSC, you probably don’t need to carry your passport with you. By limiting the number of items that you routinely carry, you also limit the number of agencies you will have to contact in the event your purse or wallet is stolen. The UTSC Police also operate a Lost and Found Service. Students, staff and faculty are requested to turn any found items into the Police office at the main entrance to the S-Wing. A property receipt (claim tag) is issued for each identifiable or valuable item received, in order to track items. If the property is not claimed by the original owner within a 30 day period, the finder is eligible to claim, within a 15 day period, the item they turned in. This does not apply to wallets, cell phones etc. All unclaimed items are donated to charitable causes after the 45 day holding period. UTSC Police will make every effort to contact the original owner when their property is turned in but may not be able to do so for a variety of reasons. Each year, many items such as cell phones, pagers, jackets, text books and jewellery, to name a few, go unclaimed, because there was no way to identify the owner. If you lose something at UTSC enquire or report it to the UTSC Police office first and we will assist you in locat- ing it. Remember, crime prevention is everyone's responsibility and by taking a few simple precautionary steps, you might prevent the theft or loss of your property. For more information on this or any other crime prevention topic, contact the UTSC Police at 416-287-7398. The Underground Life — mom. ‘Francis’ (his confirmation name was born into the Amish farming com- munity of Port Elgin, Ontario, where he became deeply religious. Our young ‘Francis’ never sinned, and even last year ate a Jesus fish in order to become closer to god. He believes in the monog- amous love between two human beings, particularly if the female is incapacitated or has psychological disorders. At the age of 14, Chris realized that he wasn't like the other boys. He had a third testicle (we know, just another thing Nicholson ‘your mouth). He could not join y other reindeer games, and soon ‘is social ettiquette. Chris says nope pe, and think before you drink, as an up and coming young athlete. } you may not see Chris in his aggy pants and backwards he does wear them, trust y along with his pleather aughter gloves to the Zen turdays. If he is not praying ‘ou'll find him hanging out with nother watching the hockey : afs Go! From this point on, although we have taken liberties before, everything we have to say is true. In third year Christopher had a transformation period in his life, when Gregory McKinnon (Chris’ brother) appeared on his doorstep and informed him of his illegitimate son- Brian Calder. Brian Calder had no hair, and sat on his nuts all day long while being rubbed down with Vaseline. He lived with Chris in his slumlord dwelling, surrounded Nocturnal Street Whores on Rez Julie ‘ lederhosen’ Harper & Sophie ‘kikrikie’ by cheap sex and drug addicts, much to the dismay of religious Christopher McKinnon. Brian Calder’s mother- who shall remain nameless- lived in luxury, sipping on champagne, cheating on Christopher with firefighters- the likes of Sloan. Side note: “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire”! Soon after the church found out about Chris’s son- the bas- tard- he chose to have his son illegally baptized by priest Nicholson naming him ‘Brain That Calder’. Upon a_=e midnight dreary’ as Christopher McKinnon pondered weak and weary, he decided that he had had enough. He could not give his son the life he wanted. He went to the nearest Home Depot and purchased a burlap sac and some bricks. At home he contemplated the impending murder of his son-by ~ drowning-but alas couldn’t go through with it. Instead, he decided to put his only son in a basket with a newspaper for a blanket and an attached note to Brian’s mother. The note read: “Mom please love Me, My Daddy hurts”. He left this surprise on the doorstep of Brian’s unsuspecting Mother. He tried to ring the doorbell and escape, but was caught by the cunning ‘Drama Queen’. She refused to take the child in, and even speculated that she was not his mother. There was a verbal quarrel that was eventually broken up by the R.A’s on duty, as the transgression had occurred during ‘quiet hours’. Chris in the end moved away with Brian to foreign lands called ‘Kurzon’, and is currently being raised by monks in a monastery. He is progressing nicely despite his early childhood traumatization. May God be with you Christopher and Brian. Let us bow our heads and pray. Note: In case you hadn't guessed it Brian Calder is in actuality a Skinny Pig (hairless guinea pig) or a Scrotum with legs-We can never tell. Our weekly words of wisdom: Our thoughts on foreigners- No_ strings attached Sex. So give it a tug! Think Bratwurst vs. Bacon... Female masturbation; this is a highly sensitive topic for girls. Few women will even admit to self-love, yet it is something that every girl does. Unlike the male species, we don’t brag about how many times per day we spank it; rather, we keep this little, socially unclean secret to ourselves. This is not something that our moth- ers tell us about; and it is most definitely not a part of the “birds and the bees” discussion. The subject was entirely ignored by my mother, and largely avoided by my high-school sex educators, as though girls simply didn’t touch themselves at all. Sure, the boys often joked about it, bragging to each other about how much cum they could shoot, or how often they tugged it. But for some reason, girls are totally unable to share their masturbation experiences. | remember in particular, a discussion about female masturbation in my first year on residence. First year is all about new experiences, sexual awakenings, and being open-minded, and yet no female was able to discuss their masturbatory habits. All of the guys in the room were talking about how often they jerked off, what they looked at to get themselves off, and were even able to share embarrassing stories about that time their dad/ mom/grandma/younger sister walked in on them while 14° they were masturbating. Meanwhile each o the room totally denied that they had ever One girl was brave enough to discuss it openly, saying that it was the one thing that every girl did, but never talked about. As she went about the discussion she tried to rally support from the other girls, only to find herself alone in the conversation. No girl would admit to ever having masturbated, as if it were a dirty thing and prac- tised only by the most sexually deviant girls. In fact, all of the young women in the room became angry at that girl for suggesting that masturbating was something that we all did. | was one of those girls who refused to admit to masturbating regularly. Granted, at the time | was living in a 10 x 14 room with another girl, and did not masturbate regularly (making for a goddamn long year), but by no means had | NOT masturbated, ever. | probably started masturbating around the same time | got my period. It seemed horrible how good it felt. But it was touching myself “there”, that place where parents and educators are always saying that no one should ever touch you, a warning that | applied even to myself. It seemed like such a holy place that maybe | shouldn’t dare touch it, my clitoris like some Garden of Eden that | had been cast out of forever. Every time orthy hands on myself | felt like I’d just en, or something worse. | knew it was wrong, but it just felt so good. | didn’t dare tell anyone about this; not my best friend, not my sister, and most certainly not my mother. If | told them what | had done, | would surely be labelled “deviant”, “dirty”, and a slut. | was so scared about anyone finding out about it that | tried to quit masturbating like a smoker tries to quit - cold turkey. | would count how many days | had gone without touching myself, rewarding myself for each week | went without. And yet every so often, | would break down and do it, feeling weak and horrible about myself. It wasn’t until much later (post-first year masturba- tion discussion, as it were) that | came to embrace my masturbatory habits. | decided that if men can be open about it, so can |. When was | ever one to back down in the face of gender inequality? If men can masturbate without shame, then so shall |! Society be damned! I’m a woman and | masturbate regularly. So what? I’m also an intelligent and moral person. I’ve become so com- fortable with masturbating that | even bought a vibrator (something | HIGHLY recommend!) So ladies, it’s time to stop being ashamed and afraid of masturbating. After all, you know that everyone does it. http‘//www.utsc’ utdronto‘cal=undergnat Phy Wednesday, October 23, 2002 We've noticed that we're in a bit of a rut with this “Dear Abby” thing so we're taking a week or two off and trying something different. Presented here are some- what angry letters that we've written in our heads over the past week or so. We thought it'd be a nice change of pace. Any feedback (a letter of your own, even) is appreciated — you can send it to us at make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com Dear Producers of ‘Swimfan’ Let me be the first to congratulate you on this sweeping commentary on love and obsession. I have not been so glad to spend fifteen motherfucking dollars ona movie since ‘The Scorpion King’. I especially liked how you played up the fact that this movie has something to do with e-mail and computer stalking when in fact it is about swimming and a bunch useless twits. Thank you for not developing any of the pivotal characters. That often takes away from the gratuitous nudity that is characteristic of this genre. Wait, did I say gratuitous nudity? Oh I forgot, there’s none in this film, despite countless opportunities for you to show a little boob. Thanks very much for casting someone totally inappropriate and banal as your male lead role. I’ve already forgotten his name as a matter of fact. It really helped me maintain a narrative distance and not get too involved with the characters. Speaking of which, thanks for undermining every bit of credibility that Erika Christiansen earned for her performance in ‘Traffic’. She really needed to be taken down a notch and I’m sure she’ll be doing movies with Jennifer Love Hewitt in no time. I bet you're marketing this as a great ‘date movie’, and it sure is, if you pick up your girlfriend in a short yellow bus. I guess it’s really my fault... While I wasn’t exactly expecting “Boogie Nights”, I was at least expecting “Urban Legend 2”, which, I might add, is a far, FAR superior film in every respect. And that’s saying a lot. In short, thank you for taking one hour and twenty-five minutes of my time that could have been spent doing lines of Ritalin. Four stars, and Oscars for all. The Underground We have problems too... UPSI is Sachin Hingoo and Chris McKinnon (but not Abigail Van Buren) Dear Makers of Pop Rocks I have enjoyed your product for many years. I still remember those days of sitting out at recess in grade four, the joyful crackling of ‘exploding candy’ in my mouth. They definitely made a nice introduction into the vast play land that is crack-cocaine. However, my letter is to inform you that after years of producing a quality product, Pop Rocks have, for me at least, lost the kick that they once had. There was a time that consuming an entire package of Pop Rocks would send a small child into seizures. They were so powerful that they sparked an urban legend about one’s head exploding if they were mixed with Coke (no, not that kind, heh). Not so anymore. I don’t know if I’ve developed some kind of tolerance to your candy, or if you’ve weakened the formula to make it more palatable to today’s sensitive youth, but they just don’t crackle like they used to. In the event of the latter, I hope you’re not misreading your target market. People want Pop Rocks for the hurting, the same reason we want movies by Jerry Bruckheimer and novels by Amy Tan. And don’t get me started on your Popeye ‘candy sticks’. Who do you think you’re fooling? If I wanted a candy stick, I’d roll some sugar in a doob. The Underground I bet you never thought we’d make fun of AMY TAN! No one is safe! If you have a problem, some query, quandary, or pickle of any kind, please send it http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ to: make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com (by the way, this is a real address). 15 The Underground | ; 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Sports Leafs games make me feel like home... by Nathan Barnard As | walked through the corri- dors of Union Station last Monday, | noticed something that was simultaneously comforting and eerie. Scores of bystanders were brandishing Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys and jackets, and darting around the normally crowded food-courts in the bowels of the Station. At first | didn’t put two and two together. Then | thought to myself, "Damn there are a lot of Leafs fans out tonight!" Suddenly common-sense kicked in and | wanted to smack myself for being so oblivious. Almost aloud | mut- tered "Oh, there’s a game tonight, maybe | should hurry back to Rez so | can partake in the festivities." That's not something | thought | would ever say. | am not what you would call a "big sports fan". | will occasionally engage in a few random events http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ or pause momentarily while chan- nel-surfing to check who’s play- ing. But since moving to Toronto three years ago my perception has shifted, especially where the Leafs are concerned. Now why would a person with almost no interest in sports, or the world around him for that matter, suddenly be enthusiastic enough to hurry back to Scarborough at 7:30pm in an effort to catch a bit of the game? There are several answers to this question. Coming from a small rural town, | am, for the most part, accustomed to a notion of com- munity and unity. Toronto, by con- trast to my home town, does not exactly support such ideologies and as such it was somewhat overwhelming to me at first. The prospect of a Leafs game (and hopefully a victory) has a won- derful effect of bringing people together. Even on the subway | overheard strangers chit-chat- ting about new additions to the team, that night’s opposition and a myriad of other subjects that seem to arise whenever fans interact. On Rez, game-night has the same effect. People who may, for one reason or another, not drop by all that often will flock to a house that has a working televi- sion and huddle around as every- one makes comments about the progress of the game. | can even recall, last year, lounging on the couch as strangers would period- ically stick their heads in through the sliding glass door to inquire about the score. The Leafs seem to bring people together, break through any apprehensions and unite the fans in a massive con- gregation. Another element that draws me into Hockey Night in Canada By: James Nugent Scarborough’s Men’s A-Volleyball team, or “The “The Squad”: Redefining Men’ Thirsty for revenge, Wednesday, October 23, 2002 is the programme itself; it's an excellent display of Canadian spirit and nationalism. It’s encour- aging to realize that there are other fans that get all worked up, shout, cheer, and exert a patriotic fervour, all because the Leafs finally scored on a power play. | believe the phrase "GO LEAFS GO" should prompt people to stop and realize that hockey is more then just a silly game. It’s a way for us to find a common-ground; a place where even strangers can form a bond. Hockey is more to us then just another sport. Some people claim Canadians lack an distinct cultural image, but to nay-sayers | challenge them to sit in the Air Canada Centre on a Saturday night with a full house of Leafs fans and then maintain the claim that we have no sense of identity. Ss Volleyball Scarborough battled hard Squad” as they are better known to their loyal fans, are working hard this year to defend UTSC’s reputation as one of the best teams in the Greater Military Trail-Rouge Valley Area. This year the squad is coached by UTSC- Alumni-turned-veteran-volleyball prostar, Skylar, who sees a fine mix of talent and experience on this year’s team. On Tuesday night, in the much-anticipated game- of-the year, our Men’s A-Volleyball team took on the Phys-Ed crew from downtown. The first set saw Phys-Ed come out strong with a series of hits that took Scarborough by surprise. After getting their footing, The Squad answered back with some notably fine hits by Andy “Where-Did-This-Rookie-Come-From” Lee. Also hitting well this set was Allan “Don’t-Mess-With-Me” Malolos and Jordan “Southpaw” Klassen who also had a series of fine digs. Meanwhile, Matt “DJ” Dagonas and Will “Can’t-See-Me” Kwan, provided some impres- sive defence and raw intimidation to the amazement of the standing-room-only crowd. But despite their effort, The Squad came up short, losing the first set 22-25. through the second set, this time with the help of the “Finnish Wonders’-Pekka and Jussi Maattanen-and James “Who-Taught-This-Guy-To-Block” — Nugent Refusing to go home early, The Squad came back from behind in the second set, courtesy of the wall erected by Nugent, Jussi, and Klassen, and some not-so-friendly fire from Pekka. A turning point in the set came from a well-executed dump by none other than UTSC's own Hoc Huynh. Scarborough won the second set in a nail- biting 26-24, forcing the game into a 15 point third set. After Scarborough took an early 9-6 lead in the third set, an unfortunate but necessary rotation change (which left our men with only two front line hitters facing three Phys-Ed blockers) forced The Squad to lose their hard-earned momentum. In the end, the tide would not be turned back and Scarborough watched vainly as Phys-Ed stole victory from their fingers, beating out UTSC 15-10. The boys are looking forward to their next game on October 22, downtown. 17 The Underground Kelly Lisle the left, : using our c clues Se put & Ays h a D eg a you to task. We'd like to congrat __ the whole puzzle. For those o! much as finishing it won’t benefit your life in any way. i.e. there are no prizes. TV Show ALPHABET! Sot i ae th Bi A Alien who eats cats B Alan Standbridge’s favourite TV show (involves vampires) C Where Everybody knows your name D Starring a whiney guy with a large forehead eee ile: F Olson Twins G_ Feisty Femmes over Fifty H Master of the universe | | Ayshia wants her ten children to be: (involves food) J Answer in the form of a question K Featured chicken lady and head crusher L Nuclear family with “animal” son M _ Intro involves the following: annoying music, helicopters and men in uniform . N Takes place in New York, involves Doughnuts O Don't go there girlfriend ; P Takes Place in Harmony Q_ Non-straight people R William Shatner, post Star Trek S “No beer and no TV, make something, something’ T 2 Days, $1000, no peeking U Cartoon about a college kid and his friends V Pamela Anderson W_ This show ran for 9 seasons straight, each starred Tony Danza | x “AIEEEEBFEEEEREEEEEEEEREEEE Gt! Y Victor, Nikki, Victoria and Nicolas are characters on this show Z_ This show is filmed just North of Meadowvale and Ellesmere 18 . http:/www.utsc.utoronte.ca/~undergnd/. - 5 Wednesday, October 23, 2002 any contact Modaee ese underground events... n provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! The following is a listing of events information e city, events websites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know nefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by fENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca d its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the Oct. 23 Victoria Women’s Association presents “Our Lady of the Birches: Methodist Mothers and Mary of Nazareth”, feat. Rev. Dr. Peter Wyatt. Alumni Hall, 121 St. Joseph Street. 2:00 p.m. Oct. 23 - 27 ImagineNative Media Arts Festival. Various locations and times. See website for details. http://www.imaginenative.org/ Oct. 23 Choosing Your Career. Assess in writing the personal factors that help you make career decisions. 10 - 12 noon. Sign up in Rm S-302. Oct. 24 Study Smarter, Not Harder. Learn how to get the most of out of your lectures, make effective use of your note and more. 2 - 4 p.m. For info contact 416-287-7561 or advising@utsc.utoron to.ca ~ Oct. 24 Exam Prep and Writing. Learn how to schedule and use your study time effectively. Learn strategies to study for, and write different types of exams. 10 - 12 noon. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoron to.ca Oct. 25 Institute for Women’s Studies and Gender Studies Public Lecture Series 2002-2003 presents, Theorizing Transnationality, Gender and Citizenship, feat. Kum Kum Bhavnani, “Re-imagining Development: Reflections from a (Socialist) Feminist,” Contact for more info: info@womensbookstore.com Oct. 25, 26; Art Nova; America in Belgrade. lsabel Bader Theatre. 93 Charles St. W. e-mail: voda.zikic@sympatico.ca Oct. 28 Study Smarter, Not Harder. Learn how to get the most of out of your lectures, make effective use of your note and more. 2 - 4 p.m. For info contact 416-287-7561 or advising@utsc.utoron to.ca Oct. 28 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. .Basil Johnston. West Hall of University College, 15 King’s College Circle. 7:00 p.m Oct. 28 Meningitis Vaccination Clinic. At UTSC, in the Meeting Place. 11 -5p.m. $90, Visa, MC, cash, cheque or debit. Info: 1-800-621-1146 or www.vaccess.com Oct. 29 Time Management. Learn to schedule your time effectively and get tips on how to take control of your time and make it work for you. 11-1 p.m. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advisi ng@utsc.utoronto.ca Oct. 30 Study Smarter, Not Harder. Learn how to get the most of out of your lectures, make effective use of your note and more. 5 - 7 p.m. For info contact 416-287-7561 or advising@utsc.utoron to.ca http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/: Oct. 31 Exam Prep and Writing. Learn how to schedule and use your study time effectively. Learn strategies to study for, and write different types of exams. 2 - 4 p.m. For info contact: 416- 287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoronto.ca Oct. 31 Should | Drop his Course or Not? Make informed decisions about withdrawing from courses. 10 - 12 noon. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 1 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Vampyr. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 1 Should | Drop his Course or Not? Make informed decisions about withdrawing from courses. 10 - 12 noon. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 3 Nikki Enfield, soprano, performs at Hart House. The Great Hall, 3-5 p.m. 7 Hart House Circle. For info call: 416-978-2452. Nov. 4 Time Management. Learn to schedule your time effectively and get tips on how to take control of your time and make it work for you. 2 - 4 p.m. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advising @utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 5 Choosing Your Career. Assess in writing the personal factors that help you make career decisions. 11 - 1 p.m. Sign up in Rm S-302. Nov. 6 Jeanette Winterson, internationally acclaimed author reads from her latest novel The Power-Book (Random house). Young Peoples Theatre, 165 Front St. East Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door. 7:00p.m. Call 416-922-8744 Nov. 7 Fourth Annual S.D. Clarke Lecture in Sociology feat. Charles Tilly, Joseph L. Buttenweiser, Professor of Social Sciences at Columbia University. Auditorium, University of Toronto Schools, 371 Bloor Street West Time: TBA Nov. 7 Vic Chorus Concert, Victoria College Chapel, 8:00 p.m. Nov. 7 Woodsworth Fall Lecture: The Good, The Bad & The Profiled: Race, Deviant Behaviour & Police Stop-and- Search Practices. Feat. Professor Scot Wortley, University of Toronto Centre of Criminology, Bissell Building room 205. 4:30 p.m. Admission is free. Information: 416.978.5301. Nov. 7 - 27 Conscious Eating: A Transformational Course for Women. w/ Annahid Dashtgard. 6 - 8p.m. $40, register at the Toronto Women’s Bookstore. info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 8. Friday Workshop Series, feat. lan Sloan. Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m Nov. 8 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Yi Yi: A One and a Two... Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 8 Institute for Women’s Studies and Gender Studies Public Lecture Series 2002-2003 presents Theorizing Transnationality, Gender and Citizenship, feat. Jacqui Alexander, “The State and the Making of Sexual Citizens” For more info contact: info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 10 Signs of Hope in the Middle East. Conference, afternoon session at 14:30 OISE Auditorium, 252 Bloor Street W Free! Speakers include: Prof. Atif Kubursi, Economics, “The background of the conflict”; Prof. Elia Zureik, “The Palestinian refugees”; Rula Sharkawi, “A visit to women in Israel and the West Bank”; Henry Lowi, “The Israeli public at the crossroads”. Nov. 10 Signs of Hope in the Middle East. Conference, evening session at 20:00 Bloor Street United Church, 300 Bloor Street W. Speaker: Noam Chomsky, “Prospects for Peace: Hopes and Barriers.” $10, tickets available only in advance from the Toronto Women’s Bookstore, no telephone reservations. Nov. 12 Study Smarter, Not Harder. Learn how to get the most of out of your lectures, make effective use of your note and more. 11 - 1 p.m. For info contact 416-287-7561 or advising@utsc.utoron to.ca Nov. 12 Alumni of Victoria College Seminar “Ils Canada Fading from the American Consciousness” with Marci MacDonald. Admission $10 for Scarlet & Gold Members, $20 for non-members, contact the Vic Alumni Office to register at 416-585-4500. Nov. 12 Friends of the Library: An Illustrated Lecture “Authors, Editors, Compilers: Formation of Sacred Texts - The Bible and Beyond.” Speaker: Dr. Sol Nigosian, Victoria College, 91 Charles St. W., Room 115, 4:30 p.m. Nov. 13 Exam Prep and Writing. Learn how to schedule and use your study time effectively. Learn strategies to study for, and write different types of exams. 5 - 7 p.m. For info contact: 416- 287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 14 Choosing Your Career. Assess in writing the personal factors that help you make career decisions. 10 - 12 noon. Sign up in Rm S-302 Nov. 15 Public Lecture “The Saunders Portrait: Why Does it Matter?” Speaker: Alexander Leggatt. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles S. W. 5:00 p.m. Nov. 15 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. He Liu [The River]. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 18 Exam Prep and Writing. Learn how to schedule and use your study time effectively. Learn strategies to study for, and write different types of exams. 2-4 p.m. For info contact: 416- 287-7651 or advising@utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 18 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. Marie Campbell. West Hall of University College, 15 King’s College Circle. 7:00 p.m Nov. 18 “Gender and race in Writing” feat. Shani Mootoo, the author of the award-wining Cereus Blooms at Night in discussion with Jean Noble and Trish Salah. University College room 179. 15 King’s College Circle. 7:30 p.m Nov. 20 Time Management. Learn to schedule your time effectively and get tips on how to take control of your time and make it work for you. 10 - 12 noon. For info contact: 416-287-7651 or advisi ng@utsc.utoronto.ca Nov. 22 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Hsi Yen [The Wedding Banquet] Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 25 The University Professor Lecture Series, feat. Martin Friedland. “Reflections: A History of the University of Toronto” Location: Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park. 7:00 p.m Nov. 27 Victoria Women’s Association presents “The New Program for First Year Students” Speaker: Dr. David Cook, Principal, Victoria College. Alumni Hall, 2:00 p.m. Nov. 27 to Dec. 1 REEL ASIAN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. See website for more details. http://www.reelasian.com/ Nov. 30 End of Term Party This event will celebrate the affiliation of the Toronto Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies with the Sexual Diversity Studies Program and the launch of several scholarships for Sexual Diversity Studies Students. Come and meet other faculty and students who are associated with the program. 5:00p.m.-8:30p.m. University College Room 240 Dec. 6. Friday Workshop Series, feat. Mark Crane, “The Use of bonae literae in Sixteenth-Century France”. Northrop Frye Hall. 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:1'5)p.m, Dec. 6 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Meet Me in St. Louis. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. 19 “Punch-Drunk Love’ leaves you addled, a little dizzy and overcome by a pleasing, unplaceable sensation — one best summed up in the movie's title.” A.0. Scott, The New York Times “Two thumbs up.” “Amazing.” Ebert & Roeper David Ansen, Newsweek as a shy Salesman given to sudden bursts of anger becomes tender and moving as he stumbles into lov Sandler can act, beautifully.” Peter Travers, Rolling Stone “Adam Sandler is ssh perfect. Emily Watson is sublime. ‘Punch-Drunk Love’ is an extraordinary experience.” Bruce Kirkland, The Toronto Sun ‘A wickedly ian black comedy. Jack Mathews, New York Daily News “Punch ne ioe is not only one of te edgiest romantic comedies ever made, it’s a romantic comedy on the edge: on the edge of being a comedy, on the edge of being romantic, on the edge of sanity and on the edge — the eating ane — of American movies themselves” Geoff Pevere, The Toronto Star . : ‘apuit) COARSE LANGUAGE, } gredantd Sccoanuitt) NOT RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN ADD rei LIMITED ENIGAGERME NTS NOW PLAYING! FAMOUS PLAYERS CINEPLEX ODEON CINEPLEX ODEON. CINEPLEX ODEON FAMOUS PLAYERS FAMOUS PLAYERS [vaRSiTY CINEMAS vTux)| VARSITY WLP © QUEENSWAY eth _|[suvERCtTY oceanon rox KENNEDY COMMONS 20 | SQUARE ONE v 1x | %* PRESENTEDIN SDDSSU2SE 9 v PRESENTED IN PGS STARTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25TH AT ADDITIONAL THEATRES NEAR YOU! CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR LOCATIONS & SHOWTIMES Get the Underground Online... all the cool kids are doing it... Se WWAWAV UKE Ue) Ro} mh ceer= Vor) cca a3 GO Ce aa Building upon the successes of Bent On Change 2000: Rethinking Queer Issues on Campus and in Communities, the Bent On Change II Conference Steering Committee is pleased to announce... Beyond Tolerance: Rethinking Queer Issues on Campus and in Communities for November 1 & 2, 2002. With joint leadership from Ryerson University, York University and the University of Toronto, Bent On Change I! will explore the theme of Beyond Tolerance on Campus and in Communities. Tolerance continues to be the predominant response of the mainstream to challenges from oppressed and marginalized communities. Bent On Change II will explore problems associated with the politics of both intolerance and tolerance and will generate ideas about how LGBTQ-identified individuals, groups and allies can empower universities and communities to move beyond tolerance. Delegates from across Canada and the United States will gather to hear many presenters and keynote speakers Zahra Dhanani, Immigration/ Human Rights lawyer and activist, and Queer theorist Rinaldo Walcott from the University of Toronto. Amongst others topics include: *Sex In & Out of the Classroom; *Risk, Representation & Resistance: Organizing in Black Queer Community; *Students Dealing with Marginalization; *Class Passing in the Queer Communities; *(Trans) People of Colour and Two-Spirit People: Fighting Racism & Transphobia & Homophobia In Our Community (open to People of Colour and Two Spirit People only). For Conference Registration and more informa- tion: Visit the Website and Register: http://bentonchange.tripod.com or Email: bentonchange@lycos.com SCSP is curre! the following F 2 Full-time st Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply There will be a general meeting of the scarborough Campus Students’ Press on November 6th, at 8:00 p.m. in Rm S-364. If you're interested in taking on one of the positions listed above, please plan to attend. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Editor-in-Chief — Chris McKinnon Karim Kassam Sachin Hingoo Associate Editors Cereal Killers: Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager e News Elo Ashwin Jyaram Why is sugar-bear out to get Arts Editor Keith Friedlander iP Life Editor Geoff Micks yo U! / Sports Editor vacant : Graphics Editor Greg Brown On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren — sememteoor mse | Study Carrel Graffiti: If students don't take charge, more study space may disappear... 7] 6 Dp. Accounting Manager _—_‘Michelle Ng Accounting Assistants Juliana Lam Millie Ng Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Julie Harper, Sophie. Nicholson, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Christian Lucier, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Dinesh Fernando, Faisal Islam, Sarah Barmak Also in this Issue: Editorial p.4 Letters p.5 Opinions P.6 Comments p.7-9 Contributors: Clayton Haluza, Adam Bencze, Gary Heather, Cathy Tat, Andrew Tyler, Vanessa Nunes, Nathan Bernard, Cpl. Chris Moy, The Lord of Darkness, Carrie Schultz, Herbie Ku. Events Listings p.1 2 ‘| Life Letters and Opinions Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The News 90 die in Moscow Pp. 10 What has SAC done for you lately? p.1 ] Arts Nathan's Tips for beating Hell Week p.1 » Graffiti-laden study-carrels may be removed, and not returned P.16 Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, | An Interview with Brooke Burgess - Broken we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they Saints p.12 : include the writer's name and student number. AGO's “Visit Paradise” Submissions become the property of The A little bit of heaven on earth p.1 3 Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board | Are videogames causing violence? p.13 reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. In Satan | Trust p.1 yi Rants Scarborough Campus woes p.1 7 Sports pg.18 Columns Weekly Haiku p.14 Frog in My Throat Pp.7 Problem-solvers p.1 8 Groundworks p.14 Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to official-sounding Letters and Opinions : : For amore official-sounding ndOp Chris McKinnon. Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 4265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON The Undergroundis published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, M1C 1A4 and through local and national advertising. Phone: 416.287.7054 The Underground is a member of Canadian Fax: 416.287.7055 Ualversiy Bere (Gare Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ LJ Ee aa http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground Editorials Forgetting Bernardeé I've spent the last ten days or so trying to get a message to Paul Bernardo in Kingston Pen. Many of you, I’m sure, will be happy to know that my efforts failed; it would seem that maximum-security solitary confinement really does effectively remove you from society. Score one for the Canadian Penal System. When | tell people what I’ve been up to lately (and it doesn’t seem to matter who it is I’m talking to, even the editors that signed on for this “Serial Killer” issue) the reaction is always negative... “Why would you want to do that?” was the most frequent response (complete with elaborate frown and wrinkled nose), and it's implication is that a man like Bernardo deserves to be abhorred. Most people say they would prefer to see him dead, or worse, rather than incarcerated. For the record, | think that what people would actually like is to forget... My desire to make contact with a convicted serial-rapist and murderer was a bizarre one from the get-go. It was spurred in part by a notion that the Underground should do something “evil” for Halloween: in part by the sniper(s) in D.C.; and in part by my own morbid curiosity. My interest wasn’t in corresponding with Bernardo about his crimes (as some might have expected), but rather to investigate just how “normal” he really seems. We hear this again and again from people who knew serial-killers in their day-to-day lives, prior to their capture: “He just seemed like a normal guy.” Bernardo wasn't so different... What! really wanted to do was play a game of 20 Questions with him and then think about his responses; | wanted to try and gauge his normalcy. But, nevertheless my plans failed. And maybe that's a good thing. Paul Bernardo’s crimes hit close to home for most of us. He lived in Scarborough; he attended Scarborough Campus. In all probability, he used the places we call school and home as a hunting- ground for his rape victims. And we never talk about it. Maybe I’m alone in finding this particularly disturbing. Perhaps our silence is rightly kept, for really what else is there to say? We're all aware that Bernardo is UTSC Alumni (8T7 to be exact); we've all seen his picture in the Hall of Excellence; and that’s where we stop... Maybe the media circus that surrounded Bernardo’s crimes pushed us to the edge, to total media saturation. When you reach a breaking point like that, it does seem like there is nothing left to say. The Underground apparently didn’t see fit to write or talk about those crimes in the late 80’s either, when the “Scarborough Rapist” was still on the lam. In preparation for this issue, many of the Underground Staff scoured through our archives searching for articles with even a mention of either a serial-rapist, or more specifically about Paul Bernardo. We found nothing except a few oblique references to a “need for heightened security” on and around campus. Even then, all the details were vague. And that seems to be about par for the course at UTSC, given that we tend to attribute nothing to the fact that Bernardo went to school here, more than likely raped here. No one really talks much about any of that... Take a look at Cpl. Chris Moy’s article on page 16 of this issue, and you'll see that not much has changed in nearly two decades. Assaults, sexual or otherwise, occur on-campus and we never say anything about it. Our silence speaks loudly. Our willingness to be victims makes us vulnerable to history repeating... Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief “Monste : Excellen When the urge to kill rises... With Halloween imminent and the latest news of the Maryland sniper coming fresh off the steaming heap of CNN’s compulsive coverage, it makes sense that we take a special look this week at that funny little character known as the “serial killer’. While I’m sure my colleagues will take very professional and well informed approaches to dealing with the subject, I'd like to address it on a personal note. Listening to stories about people in our society who decide to arm themselves to the teeth and dole out random judgment upon total strangers really tends to make one stop and think. We all have violent urges, sometimes seemingly unprovoked and aimed at the undeserving. It’s just a part of being human and we all (presumably) know how to keep a tight lid on it. But society has a flirtatious relationship with the psychotic killer. It's by far one of the most frightening realities we have, but it’s also one of the most identifiable. People jest about snapping and taking drastic action to vindicate the small injustices done to them on a daily basis. What's really funny about these jests is that whoever's telling them and whoever’s hearing them share a secret joke in between themselves. They both know that there’s some truth behind that desire. Who amongst us has not day-dreamed about reaching out and just smacking that annoying, cell phone talk- ing, slow walking, doorway blocking douche bag in the hallways when they’re making you late for class? Or maybe doing more then just smacking them? In our short lives we have witnessed a great amount of cultural debate and depiction of this tingling urge. We've seen Falling Down, we've played Grand Theft Auto 3, we've witnessed road rage, we’ve heard the debate about the influence of violent videogames, violent movies, violent cartoons, etc.. Anyone remem- ber that episode of The Simpsons when Flanders has a dream about climbing a church tower and firing on a crowd? And what provokes all this? Day to day life. There’s just something so inherently enraging about our society that we have this obsession with random violence that bounces between disgust and empa- thy. And in the awkward silence that comes between debates, we like to laugh about it. This isn’t meant to excuse the actions of those who succumb to their violent impulses. One hopes there are extenuating circumstances that leads to this break- down of control, circumstances we hope we never have to face ourselves. Still, to fall so far that one com- mits such acts upon their fellow man without remorse or hesitation is to be lost. The truth is, what makes the serial killer so frightening is exactly what makes him So identifiable. If anything, this editorial is trying to say that if ever you feel the urge to do bodily harm to the person ahead of you in line because they're taking too long to decide what donut they want with their coffee, maybe you should take a day off. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where | am. Just one bad day.” ---The Joker in Alan Moore's The Killing Joke Keith Friedlander Arts Editor “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” -- Joseph Conrad http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ GCABISPOL IES COMIN OM te NAW af a a. ee —_ j x 4 Letters Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Caffeine is dangerous too... (RE: Volume 22, Issue 6 of the Underground) [In the Oct. 16, 2002 issue], you covered all the great and bad things that drugs offer. | thought that the writing was awesome and pretty much agreed with all opinions expressed. Anyways, | think you missed one of the most important drugs and most widely used by uni- versity students: Caffeine. Caffeine is a dangerous substance, yet it is legal and available almost anywhere you can think to seek it out. It comes in liquid forms, pill forms and can also be found in many edible forms. From the time we are very young we are taught to worship at the almighty church of Tim Horton’s or other nameless shops that surround our areas of resi- dence. Restaurants offer it'at the end of meals, any cafeteria that you enter has it readily on display. Everywhere you go, caffeine lurks there. There are no policies to control this rampant and widely used drug, so for the purpose of this article | am sharing my words of wisdom. To the already addicted: it's not your fault that you are addicted, it's society's! Those countless hours that you spend sitting in coffee shops talking about nothing, slurping back that third extra large double double, are not because you have nothing else to do, it’s because you are told this is a “cool” pastime. The endless debates you have with fellow addicts about whether rock is better than rap, or the conversations about how there is nothing else to do or which doughnut is the obvious superior choice. These conversations stem from your parents. They taught you that caffeine is good, they plied you with pop and other caffinated beverages from the time you were very young. | mean how many of our parents can't start the morning without a large pot of coffee brewing from the time they wake up until the time they rush out the door? Then just to make sure they have enough energy to make it to work, they make a mad dash through the Tim Horton's drive-thru. Our worth as a nation has become measured in the amount of coffee and doughnut shops we have on every street corner. Everywhere you go, caffeine lurks there. Can anyone really blame you for your addiction? To the caffeine curious: | know the temptation is great, but put down that jumbo brew before it’s too late. Back away from the counter and put the money back in you pocket. Save yourself while you still can. Coffee doesn't taste good, it's all the sugar you dump into it that makes it seem that way. Look over into the corner of that coffee shop, don’t you see that jittery person sucking back that precious black gold. Do you really want to end up like that? It only takes one time and your addicted forever. To anyone else: words of advice.that jumpy, on edge friend who looks sluggish until you agree to stand in the two hour line for Tim Horton's with them, needs help! Caffeine Lover's anonymous is always looking for new mem- bers, you should sponsor him. It’s everywhere though, so be prepared for those late night calls. “I just passed Coffee Time.! was tempted.! wanna go in.| need it.| got an early class..” Just be supportive, eventually they may be cured..but not anytime soon. Most of us are addicted to this deadly drug, how many times has it helped you churn out that essay that is due early the next morning that you left to the last minute? Or helped you stay awake during that long 3 hour night lecture? It’s a helpful drug that has severs conse- quences. These dangerous addicts sit up until the wee hours of the morning, chugging back cup after cup of coffee, keeping poor employees up who only want to go home to bed. These people are dangerous and prone to unpredictable behavior at any moment, they - just might stay awake all night and churn out some pathetic article on the dangers of their ’ addiction. My advice: keep your distance and use extreme caution when around someone on this lethal drug. Brandi Bradley RE: The Female Masturbator: An Elusive Beast, Volume 22 Issue 7 of the Underground. lf | ever learn the identity of the elusive Ms. Black, rest assured | will do the rest of the journalistic world (and the readers of the Underground) a favor by steal- ing all of her writing utensils. | am especially supportive of freedom of expression, particularly when it comes to university newspapers. That's why | don’t even mind McKinnon’s egregious rant on Tim Horton's consuming an entire page of newsprint. That said, | am entirely unsupportive of journalism that wastes my time, and the pretentious writers that pen the crap that wastes my time. Ms. Black, don’t write an entire article based on the merits of coming out of the masturbatory closet if you don’t intend to follow your own advice. Society be damned, my ass! Not only did your article include one hell of a cheesy analogy (your clitoris like the Garden of Eden? | think someone's going to Hell), you forgot to identify yourself. Writing from behind the veil of a pseudonym is all good and fine if you’re the next Stephen King (which — thankfully — | know you will never be), but for a column stressing the need for unabashed sexual abandon, you certainly picked the wrong time to be a pussy. Trish Lenz About the Cover Hate our guts?Wish. we were dead? One of the Underground’s Associate Editors, wearing a scary clown -in-chi mask (and not coincidentally sporting Calvin Klein's new fragrance for men, aderground, U of . CRAVE), standing in front of a house that looks suspiciously like the house | ee a belonging to Paul Bernardo’s mother. Photo by Chris McKinnon ha a rn i eee hitp:/Avww.uts¢.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ P The Underground CFS seeks the impossi by Clayton Haluza On November 5-7 the students at UTSC will vote on whether or not our school should join the Canadian Federation of Students. The CFS is an organization with a bias so obviously to the left; it would be easy to confuse them with the youth wing of the NDP. A large portion of the CFS’ mandate is devoted to fighting rises in the cost of a post secondary education, arguing that tuition is too high, and should be lowered. The solution to this problem is, not surprisingly, lining up at the gov- ernment trough. On the surface it seems pretty easy, the government throws in more money, tuition goes down, and utopia is restored. The problem then, is when reality kicks in. The government has a finite amount of resources; every time a special interest group comes begging for money it is neither possible, nor right, for the govern- ment to simply produce more funding. There is no magic money bin where the solution too all funding problems can be found. | don’t see anybody willing to give up free health care or drive on roads that are falling apart. We elect politicians to manage the country, managing the country’s books are part of that. The economic reality is scarcity folks, limited resources for unlimited wants. The government has to prioritize its funding. The argument could then be made the government is in error in cutting funding from the education system. | would disagree with this statement. Canada already has one of the most accessible post secondary educa- tion systems in the world. Our tuition fees only cover a portion of the actual expense of having us in the school. The greatest portion of the cost is already picked up by the government. Due to the fact that all of our universi- ties are publicly run the quality and cost of education is standardized. Yes, some schools are better or more expensive than others but generally as a whole they are on a level playing field. We are getting a bargain, yet all we do is whine about it. If we compare the $6 000 CAD that a UTSC student will pay in tuition and com- pare that to the $25 000 USD a student at New York University will pay to study for the same length of time, this becomes apparent. Canadian schools are not only excellent, but, they’re cheap. Tuition increases can be attributed to more than just knife-wielding governments; they can also find their causes in basic economics. Inflation is a fact of reality; prices will never stay the same. The cost of a Ford car, for example, is more today than it would have been 8 years ago, but, | don’t see anybody forming a lobby group to get Ford to lower prices. It is only a reason- able assumption that university education will cost more today than yesterday. If the government kept the price of a university education frozen then why not have Ford keep their prices frozen? Why not control all prices? The Soviet Union tried that, now how did that story end? lf the governments were to freeze tuition for an extended period of time it would lead to a greater and greater portion of government budgets being consumed by education. This would lead to economic problems ble better left unthought-of. My personal belief is the question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “how do we stop tuition increases?” They cannot and should not be stopped. A more productive question is “how do we keep tuition stable?” | do agree with the CFS on one point: tuition increases have exceeded the rate of inflation. The government justifies this as “making up for the past” or facing “new realities.” They have my sympathy, for now. There does need to be light at the end of the tunnel, that light being when tuition increases are tied to the rate of inflation. Increases based on inflation are good eco- nomic sense. Continued increases at 8 times inflation is merely balancing the budget on the backs of student. Tuition increases are a fact of reality, they are not going to disappear, nor should they. Until the CFS is able to except that economic reality they will only be bashing their heads against the wall, engaged in a futile struggle for a goal that they'll never be able to conquer. This is not to say the organization has no place in the halls of UTSC, for tuition is only one part of their man- date. | would applaud them for taking a stance against the forces that would like to privatize post secondary education in Canada. A strong voice for students is a welcome addition to any school. But, is the heavy handed, leftist voice of the CFS the voice we want for UTSC? Get me a Serial Killer To put me out of my misery by Geoff Micks Life Editor Okay Children, our topic today, as you might have noticed, is serial killers; the title brings up all sorts of images in one’s mind: A woman screaming, a row of body bags, cross hairs focusing on an anonymous face. These murderers are twisted, vicious; and evil. Does anyone know where | might find one to employ? There are a couple of things in that last sen- tence which, at face value, seem wrong, so let me clarify; yes, | am aware that serial killers traditionally do not murder for monetary gain, and yes, | did just ask where | could find one to do my bidding. Read on, MacDuff, | have my reasons. Why would | want such an unholy monster at my command, you ask? My desire first sprang forth from a recently received e-mail from my editor, stating that from now on all submissions must be relevant, inter- esting, and controversial. | shall endeavour to make this article all of those things. | need a serial killer at my disposal, gentle read- ers, because of a slowly growing flame of anger burn- ing in my brain. The cause is not school, or friends, or family difficulties; the problem is this very paper. When | began writing for the Underground last year, it was everything | wanted in a campus publication. It covered news that mattered to me, art that interested me, fluffy do-nothing articles that made me laugh, and only one, mercifully obscure, page of sports. Now, under new management, | have watched that paper go from UTSC’s Toronto Star to UTSC’s Toronto Sun. It's a tabloid: There’s an editorial sec- tion, a comment section, an opinion section, and a rant section, but no news editor. Two weeks back there was a drug issue without a single anti-drug article. Not one viewpoint contrary to the editor’s, anywhere. The paper has become a joke, the editors are happy that it’s a joke, and they don’t seem to care that very few are laughing. I'm begging for a serial killer, ladies and gentle- men, because this paper no longer wants to be read. In the same e-mail that notified me of editorial policy | was told that the paper would no longer cater to the masses. This paper would not pander to the student body with news articles and coverage of events. What happened to our editor’s manifesto promising to make this a paper for the students, voicing their concerns? | have watched in dismay as our racks, which last year all but emptied in a week, have been stacked two feet high with back issues. What happened to all those readers? This paper is paid by advertisers who are trying to reach fifty-five hundred students; have they been told they’re getting five hundred? Someone, where’s the nearest serial killer? | started writing for this paper last year because | wanted to build a career in writing with the Underground as my foundation. I’m no longer sure that’s such a good idea. The viewpoint of my supe- riors are so alien to me, I’m not sure if | will be con- demned for this article, or have it hailed as a giant step forward from my usual assortment of personal quips and friends’ quotations. I’m not sure whether I'll be fired for what I’ve written, resign for what I’ve written, or buckle down and write as I’m told, but before any of that happens, | have to speak my mind as Chris McKinnon taught me. Serial Killer or no, | have to write it. Everything has turned upside down. | can’t show my grandmother my copy of the paper this year because of the paper cut out dildo at the back. If this is progress, | want none of it. If this is how the world works, stop the planet because | want off. Where are the damned serial killers; I’m looking for an extra hole in my head. Editor’s Note: The Underground now circu- lates three times as many copies of each issue as it did last year (on-campus alone), as well as dis- tributing the paper at several locations on the St. George Campus. The speed with which the racks emptied last year was probably due in large part to a smaller print-run. (Furthermore, | cannot believe that anyone’s grandmother wouldn't like an origami penis... maybe that’s just me.) -Ed. _ee ee eee 6 http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘ ’ * 4 Joe biiv ae oe : Comment Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Frog In My Throat Merika I. Ramundo Make no mistake about it. These cereal killers may look harmless with their lure of nourishment and good will but deep down inside these colorful characters are monsters. You heard me, monsters! Criminologists from around the world have taken years to crack some of these psychos. The following profiles will give you just a taste of the wrath of the cereal killer. *** Cap’n Crunch: The Cap’n began his reign real Killers: Terror in the Bowl SugarBear: Viagra Watch Out! The of terror when he killed his mother with a plank to the crotch. The Cap’n justified this atrocity in his best selling biography entitled Oh Cap’n, Why Cap’n when stating, “I had to do it. She wouldn't blow me down”. This act of sheer horror resulted in 25 more murders in and around Dawson's Creek. The Cap’n was charged with all counts of murder but was pardoned and awarded $50,000 because no one really wanted the residents of Sugarbear is famous for putting the trick in tantric. This famous stalker of the honies is leg- endary for his prowess and addiction to sexual endurance. So legendary in fact, that his stamina for the horizontal hokey-pokey caused the death of all of the Dallas Cowgirls (1998-1999 season). While incarcerated, Sugarbear became even more famous with his hit soft rock classic, “Can't Get Enough”. Dawson’s Creek alive anyway. Dig’em The Frog: My love of frogs stops right here people. Dig’em The Frog was notori- ous for literally “digging” dead bodies out of the ground and replacing the empty graves with real, live bodies. Imagine being buried alive to the tune of “It Ain't Easy Being Green”? 47 CNN cor- respondents didn't live to tell the tale. Neither did Edgar Allen Poe’s heart. Lucky the Leprechaun: This crazy dwarf was So sexually repressed that he took the saying “getting lucky” to a new level. Lucky, like Jack the Ripper before him, was obsessed with the ladies of the evening, so much so, that he would lure them to his rainbow abode with promises of end- less supplies of marshmallows and gold. Once he had them in his lair of bloodlust, he choked them with four leafed clovers while chanting, “How's this for magically delicious, bitch?!” Pop (of Snap, Crackle & Pop Fame): Pop’s demented acts stemmed from an inferiority com- plex brought on by the fact that he was always listed last when his mother called he and his brothers to dinner until one evening when Pop volunteered to cook dinner for his family. Little did Snap, Crackle, Mom & Jr. know that the meatloaf they had so eagerly ingested was really bodyp- arts belonging to 8 neighbourhood nerds. Thus, the Rice Krispie Square was born. Tony The Tiger: What drove Tony to a life of crime and a massive killing spree in the streets of Woodbridge, Ontario was his obsession with tomato sauce. So strong was his love for his grandmother's tomato sauce that after she died, he began to think that only his machine gun could create sauce worthy enough to be compared to that of Nonna Moustafa. He shared plenty of sauce with the world when he killed over 500 Heinz employees. Toucan Sam: Toucan Sam bit his way to fame one faithful day when he realized that biting people gave him power. Eventually Toucan’s taste for the bite grew to vampirism and even- tually a fetish for decapitation. What is most remarkable is that Toucan could have gotten away with the crime if it wasn’t for all those heads on sticks found protruding from accomplice Martha Stewart’s Christmas themed yard when the police raided her home on one cold, crisp, Wall Street day in November. Trix Rabbit: The list would be incomplete without the master of disguise himself, the Trix Rabbit. This cross dressing freak was arrested and jailed by the fashion police for killing millions of children. Conclusive evidence proved that the children died, eyeballs white and numb, due to an overdose of television overexposure and excessive use of propaganda. Advertising agents around the world shed bloodtears and the world was Safe again. *** all the characters depicted above are used without permission. it is in no way the intention of The Underground or its staff to deface or defame any trademarks of the cereal-makers whose mascots appear above. (it’s a joke... get it ?) *** http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ideas The Underground Comment $ § , e § ® * e ° Two works by Fred Tomaselli, mixed media featuring illegal drugs. Barton Benes' 1993 work, “Brenda”. When art goes bad (or 'Why I am | a sociopath?’) by Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor | consider myself to be pretty desensitized to vio- lence. | can watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or read Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho and hardly bat an eye. | am very much a defender of freedom of speech, and expression, and despise censorship as much as | despise organized religion. With all this in mind, | sometimes wonder if | am becoming a socio- path, some unfeeling monster, and | don’t think that this condition is atypical of anyone who is exposed to as much of Western culture as | am. Of course, it’s very fashionable to blame the state of society on the media. And | consider myself to be a pretty fashionable (and unimaginative) guy, so | do too. This whole tirade stems from a philosophy class | had downtown last week. The professor (the illustri- ous Mark Kingwell) had invited a guest speaker named Joanne Tod to lecture about aesthetics (the class is called, wait for it, Aesthetics). Tod is a local visual artist whose mediocre - albeit well-painted - work and her subsequent explanation of it didn’t do very: much for me or the other people | spoke to after the class. However, during the discussion following her slideshow, she brought up a good point. To paraphrase, she said that art, and society in general, is becoming more and more tolerant of violent and what would once been considered to be disturbing images. Now that these images are commonplace (see C.S./, The X-Files, or E.R. for examples) and very much a part of our society’s entertainment culture, people are becoming bored with them, and request more and more shocking material. If art is truly for the audience, in an economic “supply and demand” model, does this mean that art and entertain- ment in general will make a (further) move towards the macabre? We have already witnessed a case in Toronto about a year ago regarding a young artist named Anthony Wennekers who made a video of himself skin- ning a-cat alive, purporting that it was for the protest of animal cruelty (huh?). It isn’t really my intention to spark the “art vs. crime” debate in this piece (especially since I’m kind of torn on the issue), but one has to wonder if there is a demand in the art world for more shocking and subversive conceptual art such as this. Examples: - Barton Benes’ 1994 exhibition featured a Molotov cocktail and a watergun filled with the art- ists’ HIV-positive blood. A 1993 work called “Brenda” featured the cremation ashes of AIDS victim Brenda Woods in the shape of AIDS ribbons. - Tom Sachs’ 1999 exhibit featured a glass vase filled with live ammunition which was given out to view- ers; Sachs and his art dealer were arrested (and later acquitted) for unlawful distribution of arms and posses- sion of unlawful weapons. - Fred Tomaselli’s paintings collaged with illegal drugs were confiscated by French police on their way to a gallery in France. You can, however, see them online at http://www. augengallery.com/Prints/tomaselli.html (Source: www.artnet.com) You can’t argue that in terms of entertainment, people like Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville, Marilyn Manson, and a host of others have done a lot to reduce our sensitivity to the cultural material we are exposed to. Eminem can only talk about killing Kim and murdering a certain techno artist so many times before we start to get bored. And when we get bored, it is the role of the art/entertainment industry to placate us with their prod- ucts, which must be more and more abhorrent to shock/ interest an audience. To paraphrase Radiohead, we do it to ourselves, “and that’s why it really hurts.” So before you condemn us for actually discussing Paul Bernardo, or the sniper, or having a whole issue devoted to the serial killer, just remember that deep down, in a place in your mind where even you don't dare to go, you know you love it. ane y c Lavy tof An interview with a professional killer by Adam Bencze | Last week, in an effort to help with the search for the identitiy of the sniper on the loose in Maryland, The Underground took the liberty of getting into the mind of the killer. We got in touch with a man, who shall remain anonymous, who is a renowned sniper himself- a self taught mercenary who shoots firsts and asks questions never. In a dark UTSC residence room, behind a hos- pital curtain, the man’s voice digitally altered for both his and my protection, | conduct an interview with The Goaltender. Adam Bencze - First of all, let's establish what, if any, you think the motives of the ‘Tarot Card Sniper’ are. The Goaltender - This person, or persons, is gunning down people for political reasons, in my opinion. AB - Do you mean you’ve spotted some sort of pattern among the killings? What would lead you to believe that these shootings are politically motivated? GT - Not so much that there’s a pattern persay, but | think that whover is doing it certainly has an agenda. | mean, | don’t want to say the individual or individu- als are Iraqi, but | think it’s important for the United States to realize who their enemies are. AB - lf the sniper is acting on behalf of some sort of cause the he or she believes in, why has there been no attempt to reveal the cause? GT - The guy’s not gonna let the police narrow down their search by letting on who he is! That's just retarded! AB - Calm down, calm down. Getting back to the pattern then, do you think that Washington was a random choice, or was the Capital of the United States singled out by this group or individual? GT - Definitely! Is there a bigger fuck-you than doing your dirty work right under the noses of the Government? AB - | should say that there is not! Could you give us some insight into the methods of the killer? Tell me about his positioning. GT - Most people think that snipers lie down on the rooftops of apartment buildings, or in abondoned or semi-bordered up windows. Grassy-knowls. This guy, or group of guys are definitely using a van. All of the shootings have taken place near major transport routes. When | was in Cyprus in 1983 | would always use French cars to shoot out of. They’re small and inconspicuous. Perfect. AB - What about the victims? Do you sense any sort of pattern? GT - I'm not sure about that. The papers and police never give much information. Unless they draw their own conclusions, the readers and everyone else who’s not in on the ground floor is essentially left in the dark. | would tend to think that there is no pattern. This guy’s not going after targets, he’s just going after people who aren't crouching at the gas station. AB - If you were to offer the police any sort of advice or tip, what would it be? GT - You've got to use bait in this situation. Have a reporter say something like ‘the killer would never dare go after Rosie O'Donnell’, and then set up a sting operation around Rosie O'Connell. the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE| UN TVgEReSs TOF? T OR OsN yO Applications are now being accepted for the Wednesday, October 30, 2002 of a Sniper AB - What if Rosie got hurt or killed? GT - If you're going to make an omelette, you've gotta break some eggs. You could use Rosie Perez, too. AB - How about plastic surgery? Do you think that the killer may change his face every couple of months? GT - Certainly that is a possibility. In fact, if he is Iraqi, it might be very hard to tell, because he might appear caucasian now. They could call him the ‘Michael Jackson Killer’! AB - If you think that these killings are taking place from a van, then is it fair to say that it’s unlikely that the killings will occur during rush hours? GT - What are you, some kind of idiot? AB - The next time you go sniping, will you adopt some of the methods of the Tarot Card Killer? GT - | don’t use a lot of guns. | mostly use poison, because it’s cleaner and easier to get in Canada than guns are. What | can tell you, however, is that using a gun is much easier in the United States because the NRA has fought for certain points pertaining to anonymity for gun owners. It's much tougher up here to find work. | woulda left to go down there, but | don't want to be part of the brain drain. | stood up and thanked The Goaltender for taking the time and the risk of speaking with me and | take my things and leave. Clearly, the minds of these snipers are so twisted, so horribly out of touch, that they have no qualms about making inappropriate jokes when dis- cussing very serious and sensitive issues. It’s unbeliev- able, really. UTAA JOHN H. Moss SCHOLARSHIP A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded to a graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca ‘ http:/;Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground 90 die in Moscow 378 hours of sniper coverage on CNN by Gary Heather With their middle names now inserted when speaking of them, either due to tra- dition or our need to disassociate them from those of us who are not serial kill- ers, John Allen Muhammad and John Lee Malvo have been apprehended - found asleep in their car. The killing spree that forced millions of people into a life of fear has come to an end. Not since the Civil War has any American city experienced such an envi- ronment for more than a few hours. One victim was shot on the way to the store, one while walking to school, and another was shot sitting in the park. Sniper Alley roughly follows the path of the Capital Beltway Highway, where in parking lots and at gas stations suburbanites more accustomed to worrying about check-out lines and gridlock were now calculat- ing the best ways to make themselves less inviting targets. A similar environ- ment was prevalent in Eastern Europe and what was once true there has now transpired within the United States of America. : It is the same mentality as the one that took hold of Sarajevo during more than three years of siege, from 1992 to 1995. In that city though, the snip- Leigha Lee Brow0’ theatre (ett ¥ieg) ers were more frequent and far busier, sometimes claiming more victims in a day than the snipers in the Washington suburbs had yielded during their entire three week career. Perhaps it is the peculiar and per- sonal nature of a sniper - especially an extremely accurate one - that inspires a creeping brand of terror like no other. Even in Sarajevo, where the shelling from the surrounding hills took a far greater and grislier toll, it was the chance of being a sniper’s target that tended to claim a spookier hold on the imagina- tion. At the most notorious corridors of fire within the war zone, city workers felt it necessary to post a traffic sign that read: “Pazi. Sniper!” (Beware. Sniper!) For those three years, the American news viewing public seemed to have very little interest in the daily killings in this far away land, a trend that continues to this day within the borders of many other nations. Even with what happened around the Beltway, today’s closest U.S. approxima- tion to a siege mentality probably exists in bleak urban neighborhoods such as Baltimore’s Sandtown-Winchester, Prama Society Presene, Keep the Party Going 0st- Halloweey Coffee House 730pm Singers, Dancers, Comedians, Improvers, Poets, Monkeys Come to Perform orjust to Exjoy! Costume or not, PRIZES to be wonlll FREE Entrance Bring acanned good! where gunfire is often a daily occurrence, and where stray bullets often claim inno- cent lives. One can only wonder what this community's reaction might be to the national frenzy over a single sniper loose in the ‘burbs (or their laughter at the idea that any military reconnaissance aircraft might soon fly to their aid). With the DC-area killers, it is the vast amount of fear-mongering coverage that is astonishing. CNN alone aired 378 hours of coverage of the sniper over the three week period. At the same time in Moscow, 700 people were taken hostage by Chechen rebels, the siege ending with a death toll of at least 90. This story was buried by the various American media’s proclamation of the heroism of task force spokesman Charles A. Moose, as well as articles detailing the complex history of daylight savings time. It is increasingly worrying that the majority of American mass media is as self-centered as its government - a para- digm that consistently seems to only work to further alienate the U.S. from the rest of the world and may result in only more terror upon its soil, whether executed by foreign, or domestically produced groups or individuals. Weekly Haiku by Joe Choi | like to watch porn Especially clips of dogs | think | need help Thanks to Joe Choi, for his contribution of Haiku to the Underground... As always, contributions are welcome. -Ed. wee eee we ew eee ee | News What has SAC done for you lately? Council known mostly for its dental plan by Lisa Endersby Underground Staff It seems that alomst everyone at UTSC knows at least something about the SCSU. They may not know what the letters stand for (Scarbourgh Campus Student Union ~ now you can all stop asking!) but they are aware of what this level of student government does. Most noteably, the SCSU is associated with Frosh Week, which was actually only three days and really only two days if, like most fellow froshies, you don't count that horrendous Valley Carnival. In any event, the Student Union here at UTSC is also known for it’s distribution of lockers, the production of the Anti-Calender and _ their astounding ability to find almost _ any excuse to hold a Pub Night | (though | haven't noticed any student complaints on that one). However, when students are asked about the SAC (Student Administrative Coucil in case you were wondering) the response is not as immediate. In fact, | can generalize all the replies I’ve received to the question ‘What is the SAC?’ by ‘Aren't they the ones with the health plan thingy?’ Overall, _ the SAC is known almost solely for _ the health and dental plan offered to students at the beginning for the year. A quick check of the SAC web- site, however, revleals that the SAC is also responsible for graduation gown rentals, and for ‘representing and attending the needs of campus clubs’. As student clubs are indeed a large part of campus life at UTSC, simple logic would conclude that the SAC would play a very important role on campus, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. What is the cause for this dis- crepancy? Dan Bandurka, president of the SCSU, offers the opinion that most of the services provided by the SAC are not seen at UTSC. According to Bandurka, last year a proposal was initiated to discuss the implementation of a more effi- cient relationship between the two governing bodies. However, this discussion turned into a year long debate, with Bandurka noting that this year’s SAC are not very agree- able concerning the aformentioned proposal. Bandurka also pointed out that that there really isn’t that much of a difference between the two stu- dent groups, though he did tell me that while the SCSU represents all undergraduate students on campus, the SAC is concerned with only those students who are attending the university on a full time basis. |! was also able to interview Parminder Singh, president of the SAC here at Scarbourgh. As | ques- tioned him about last year’s proposal of a takeover by the SCSU, Singh countered by saying that it is also possible to have a counter proposal of the SAC taking over the SCSU. In describing the differences between both student governments, Singh spoke of the SCSU being only at the surface of life at UTSC, while the SAC is concerned with matters that run deeper within the proverbial con- science of UTSC. Singh noted that much of the reason why the SCSU is more well known around campus is due to their prevailing interest in corportization, something that Singh says the SAC has always been against and noting that he didn't even know what the Anti-Calender was, seeing only posters advertising the SCSU. Singh also pointed out that the SAC is reponsible for fund- ing Accessablity services on campus, including the R wing elevator and the the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE WOUNGGV CER Sie Tey Oeste @lR'OUN © Wednesday, October 30, 2002 door openers. While both governing bodies give money to student clubs (the SAC contributes roughly $80 000 and the SCSU donates around $10 000), Singh told me that the main goal of the SAC is to ensure that the link between UTSC and the St. George campus is not lost. In other words, Singh and all members of the SAC want UTSC to be thought of not as a big highschool, but rather as part of a larger unit, namely the University of Toronto. On another topic, Singh pointed out that he favours the layout of the SAC office, as it provides a more open setting for students to come and voice their concerns. Ideally, Singh says, both offices would be placed next to each other so all students could access both student governments. In all, Singh relates the mindset of all members of student government in saying “At the end, hopefully, common sense will prevail.” The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD | JOAN E. FOLEY | QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, 4 | se | A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student life on campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpbay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3" Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca a a i, ale fk Sa , T ~ called Broken Saints. We had a chance » he Underground Interview with Brooke - Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Last week The Underground featired an article on an online fictional project to interview Brooke Burgess, the director and writer behind the project, and talk to him about the implications of electronic art in today’s culture. ‘Underground: Broken Saints has a a very ambitious story. What aseliccte you facets of the story were shaped and pol- to tackle a story that dealt with spiritual - _dilemmas and conflicts of various faiths? _ Brooke Burgess: Because Broken Saints revolves around the struggle between the spiritual and the technologi- cal, between the sweeping current of the collective and the fierce potential of the _ individual, it was essential that the many - ished with sincerity, accuracy, and atten- tion to detail. If anything, I’m graced to have had three years at Electronic Arts - (as a videogame producer) to educate ~ me in the diligence and. seriousness required in telling an epic story within Hat= Mero) atsie=]ia) come) a\=n iva (ore1p) ave) (elel(=\-pay vale | yes, my time in the games industry also inspired me to take a look at what was missing in my own life, and whether | “could continue to thrive in the ‘cubicle barnyard’. at my disposal, but | wasn’t using my skills as a storyteller to inspire any real Hol a¥-lale(= We) ern) Wels) ol=res (ela labranyvarclelel(=1plel=a Videogames are purely escapist (at- least in the North American market), so ‘| was essentially making drugs for kids. ~ Access to the internet really opened my _ eyes to the pain and suffering taking - place in the ‘quiet corners of the globe’, economic ‘strife. especially due to religious clashes and he securities of steady pay and stock options and. travel for year in the South meleliter ‘Basically, | was on my own ittle spiritual. -and identity quest, ‘and the © hemes in Broken Saints grew from this” hey ‘were born of the understanding - hat we are all yearning for and fighting ainst the same things. -_ _We are des- rate for Love... and are ruled i Fear. Je are all the same. UG: Broken SETS mixes a lot of art apne Its presentation draws a lot from ~ graphic novels and manga, while its story takes from mysticism and conspiracy. afi fi ction. ‘What would you say were the - strongest sources of inspiration for at eect | had so much technology ~ | chose to abandon: . ~ | had originally planned on writing a novel ~ about my. travels, but when | saw what _ Flash could do and how eager they both - were to work on something with me, the BB: Quite an eclectic mix actually Andrew. (West)'s art manga/anime-inspired. to landmark works such the Immortal,. Akira, Eva Miyazaki's masterpieces .t Totoro, and Spirited Away) _ our Flash and editing guru, ing ‘clean slate’; rather than influenced by films or literature; his really comes from a place of originality : Personally, id have... “to say that the narrative and directorial Flare! imagination. styles, in both their mystical and conspir- atorial leanings, are heavily influenced by the work of specific fi Immakers and graphic novelists including: David Lynch (Elephant Man, Lost Highway), Terry. Gilliam’ (Brazil, Time Bandits), Atom Egoyan (Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter), Neil Gaiman (Sandman Anthology), Alan Wikeey c= 3 @UVEI Colalecl-Va) Pete le(e in ©ig=1al env (elaist=1e)9) (The Invisibles). | also had a heavy dose of the idiot-box, so Serial storytelling like The Prisoner, Twin Peaks, and. Sam Keith's The Maxx also made an impact. UG: Did you, Andrew and lan know each other before the project (and if so had you collaborated on it together ~ before) or did you meet as'a result of it? BB: Andrew was a young artist who used to come into a videogame store that | ran back in the mid-90’s. We struck a fast friendship, and bandied about the idea of publishing a comic together. When | returned from the overseas jaunt, he approached me again and introduced me to lan Kirby. lan was a self-taught software/design wunderkind, with Photoshop, - Premiere,. Illustrator, Dreamweaver, and Flash in his arsenal. rest just fell into place. lan started work Ee) | Reter-lire(=*1fe le hilana tate) ended ye) spon- -soring the development and production of the first six chapters. After that, we started’ (olen a tated lelate ne=tale) euraing road of internet infamy. _ UG: Accessible: art. joe like Flash movies. are’ generally used for smaller, “independent projects. Are you trying to” bring more: credit to the medium, or are you trying to inspire others to try new things with it? Or is there some other “bare-bones presentations. these screamed out ‘killer app’ to me. movement you'd like to see BS inspire mongst piependent and established a technical standpoint, it d that people were trying to use aeclare ei coit-\cctolm ccrevalatel eye) (comm CoM ualiunl(c em ; that already existed elsewhere ree tsveusor= 1a Colo) atspeemr= [ale fay ofe}i al r= Tale perl ce14 games - in tiny viewing windows and ~ None. of Instead, | thought about what content people were ALREADY comfortable -with on the web - pictures (personal and porn), music (mp3s and wavs), and text (news and blogs) - and believed that “fusion of these elements could yield some interesting results. With Broken Saints, the medium of ‘cinematic litera- ture’ is born. : I'm also tired of artists using these “incredible tools to crank out shizz of the lowest common denominator. How many times will we shoot a dancing Bin Laden, hump a cartoon Britney Spears, - or listen to a talking pile of feces before we collectively regress as a freakin’ species! The web gives you a captive GLOBAL audience - and it’s your job to create compelling content to keep their attention. Why do you think the only suc- cessful applications online are shopping and porn? People just don't seem to think of the web as a place for cutting- edge narratives, and part of our job is to shift that perception. UG: What will happen to the Broken Saints project once you wrap up the last chapter? Do you have Ya ae)int-lenivlla= projects in the works or on the drawing board? If so, will you, Andrew lu lan be (oro)| f=) ofo}¢=\thaleh=\er=liaieae BB: We're working together on a full- screen DVD translation of the series for release sometime next year. This should contain upgraded art, a dope audio mix, and tons of special features and easter eggs. Aside from that, there are” raUisale)liavefoantaelan stevia ai(e|qiane|=ien (nlcwanvele prs} wal mature animated or live-action series for cable or specialty channels. We can't fofo}atilanake)ecel-\ahvar=laNvatailarenreleintcutnlelagl=1al eas but if it happens, we will all definitely be TaNvZe) Zetia peste) ants ers] or=\el] Vas __ “BROKEN SAINTS’ CANBE VIEWED AT WWW.BROKENSAINTS.COM http://Wwww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ _ Arts Wednesday, October 30, 2002 AGO’s “Visit Paradise” A little bit of heaven on earth by Sarah Barmak First, a disclaimer. Some people have complained that the stuff | write is too “intellectual” for the Underground. Buddy, if this is “intellectual” to you, | am truly dumbfounded. That would render true intellectual writing (stock example: Noam Chomsky) into some kind of dif- ferent language or something. That's all | want to say. Now that that’s over with, let's talk art: just the facts, no dubious interpreta- tion. The Art Gallery of Ontario (Dundas and McCaul) has begun an exhibit of post-impressionist painters entitled “Visit Paradise”, continuing until January 5. It includes the artists Gaugin, Matisse, Picasso, and Cezanne. The exhibit covers the period 1887-1913. These incredible paintings (and some vases) are on loan from the world-famous Russian Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg. All are from the collections of two Russian patrons who bought them at the turn of the century. They bought Underground Staff these masterpieces when no one else would consider them art, or when their patrons abandoned them for other art- ists, and made it their life. The collec- tions were nationalized in 1917 after the Russian Revolution (they were incorpo- rated by the state), which is how they got to the Hermitage. This has sparked some controversy over whether the AGO exhibit is really a show of stolen art, an accusation made by a Globe columnist recently. The AGO has responded via a letter. | got to see a preview of the paintings in slide form at a talk by curator Michael Parke-Taylor, and they are GORGEOUS. We got to see how a 14 ft. high triptych by Pierre Bonnard was installed, which by the way looks incredible. It was originally glued right to the wall inside the mansion of the collector who commis- sioned it, so they had to peel it off and frame it and then construct foam pillars to reproduce the pillars on the collector’s wall that separated its sections. It really paid off; the triptych is certainly the high- light of the show, along with the Cupid and Psyche series of paintings. Parke-Taylor said that instead of having a greatest-hits type of exhibi- tion, considering the popularity of the artists represented, the show’s organiz- ing theme is the dream of an unsullied golden paradise, or l’age d’or, that inter- ested the painters of the period. As well as being a great unifying idea, it provided a good tagline (“Visit Paradise”) to draw people in, considering that it's winter and the idea of a getway to a golden paradise sounds pretty good right about now. The AGO, like many galleries has low student rates, about the same price or less as a first-run movie, and much more rewarding. This is a good opportunity, as it is with all major shows with foreign col- lections, to see canonical art that you've only seen previously in reproduced slides in art class. The sheer size of some of Are videogames causing violence? Christian Lucier Underground Staff With the recent events involving the “Tarot Card Sniper’, videogames have yet again been deemed responsible for evoking heinous, violent actions. The relation that videogames have with the “Tarot Card Sniper’, is found within the message that was left on the death tarot card found near one crime scene - “I am God”. This phrase is used frequently as a taunt in such online first person shooters as Counter-Strike and Quake, specifically when a player terminates another player via a sniper rifle. MSNBC reported the investigators are looking into this comment as a possible link with such videogames, many of which also include a “God mode” which makes play- ers “invincible”. Statements like the one above are causing irreparable damage to the video- game industry, causing drastic changes and sometimes product recall. It’s high time that comments such as this come to an end; they lack truth and relevancy to the incident at hand. Even in this specific case, there are other influential types of media that have just as much or even more in common with the “Tarot Card Sniper.” Ever seen the movie Navy Seals? Remember the member of the SEAL team called “God”, the one that delivers pain and death by with his sniper-rifle. Isn’t it odd that information like this is not brought up? The media is not certain whom to hold responsible for these appalling acts. But, their immediate tendency is to lay blame, somewhere. Something must be making these violent perpetrators; the media will target one specific victim, and unload all the responsibility upon it. Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, videogames have been taking the brunt of it. When the “Columbine” incident took place, the videogame Doom received immense flack. It was held responsible for creating trained killers out of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (the gunmen). For anyone that has played Doom, they will Know that shooting furry apes and walking robotic spiders is a far cry from serious training for would-be serial kill- ers. This is akin to saying that if a person plays Super Mario Bros. excessively; he or she will become trained plumbers. On a more serious note, the result of accu- sations like this one has cost the creators of Doom (id software) a fortune in legal fees. It is true that there are a number of overtly violent videogames. Some deal with killing, while others range from stealing cars to beating pedestrians with a baseball bat. This may sound offensive and disgusting, but hey, it sells; just like the recent Hannibal Lector movie, Red Dragon. The world has been known to be a sick place for some time, get over it. In 1994, the Canadian interactive Digital Software Association (CIDSA) and the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) came into effect. The designs of these systems are to try and make the buyer aware of the content and recommended age-levels for a specific videogame. This is done through labels located on the videogame. The problem with this method is that there are no legal consequences for disobeying these labels. The labels are intended to be a warning and not the law. This system is about as effective as the movie industry's attempts to pre- vent youths from seeing R-rated films. People don’t care about warnings and a lot of the time videogame and movie companies don't care either. Flouting R- ratings only means more money in their the paintings is so huge that they cer- tainly render reproductions a bit silly. pockets. Although, as a result of the blame videogames are getting in terms of their relation to violent outbursts, the Canadian government might soon be stepping in. The result of this would be legally enforced restrictions. This would effect both how videogames are sold and more importantly how they are created. Get ready for a bunch of watered down crap, because videogame developers will only want to create games that are accessible to the majority of the popula- tion in order to make a substantial profit. All this legal mumbo-jumbo is fool- ishly mislaid. Videogames are just elec- tronic games, and anyone who moves out of this context is off their rocker in the first place. For the media to pinpoint videogames as ‘responsible’ for trag- edies like “Columbine” and the “Tarot Card Sniper” killings, illustrates a sheer lack of knowledge of videogames. Serial killers are fanatical in their pursuits, but the majority of videogame players have no such obsessive issues. There is no reason to believe that this fanaticism somehow arises from videogames, and to suggest as much is really to oversim- plify the issue. _ ipa aa tore Asana The Underground Groundworks tickle-trunk Andrew Tyler Untitled waiter in the green room all-of-a-suddening his way through life and times. I’m all-of-a-sudden sick of it: suddenly bored of the get-ups and in-groups, bohemianism and not enough love to justify all that passiveness. Cathy Tat it's because she’s a girl that she wants him she likes the way he smiles to all he meets and he smiles at her, and her, and her she’s not a machine she does not spit out words she does not light up the room when she enters she is not a muse but she wants to be it's because she’s a girl that she likes the way lipstick looks on her lips she likes to demoisten between her index knuckle and her wrist she likes the feel of what it leaves behind she’s not a whore she likes reading books every now and then she'll look in the mirror and say to herself you're beautiful it's because she’s gorgeous it's because he’s a boy that he wants her he likes the way she smiles to all she meets and she smiles at him, and him, and him he’s not a machine he does not spit out words he does not light up the room when he enters he is not a muse but he wants to be it's because he’s a boy that he can’t keep still he likes to look around and see his options to think about what his pick up line would be the taste of sweet candelilla wax he’s not a player, a heartbreaker, or a pimp he loves the way they smell and when they walk the walk he enjoys watching sport games and going to the museum starting to feel like silent punk rock. yes, get out; sure, get out: where go? how get far? why pretend be elsewhere while stay put? Heaven on Earth Vanessa Nunes In a hushed state we stare at the early morning sky. Excitement warms the icy tips of our fingers and All at once we see them: Diamonds shooting and exploding Like fireworks sent from heaven: They are like the children of this sky, as we are of this Earth To be seen but once in a lifetime, though never forgotten As this fiery spectacle fades we hold our breath Only hoping this display will not end Leaving us entrenched in its mystery the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE| UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Applications are now being accepted for the NORTHROP FRYE AWARDS The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: once again to join the provost in sponsoring Pe Northiopiveiae ards MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of For further information or nomination forms, please linking teaching and research. contact your college registrar or the Division of One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni college, school or department Set : f for extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3 Floor. Tel: (416) ing the link between teaching and research. 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca 44 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Nathan’s Tips for beating Hell Week by Nathan Barnard This event passes every year like clockwork, the infamous Hell Week. First-year students may be unfa- miliar with this term as of yet but | assure you, by next semester they will be dreading it. This is the time when professors’ schedule every essay, midterm, and quiz within a week’s span of one another so that they can meet the requirernent of letting students know where they stand in the course before the drop date. It never changes and every year | seem to be ill prepared for the onslaught, but | somehow manage to endure. Now the most logical thing, one would assume, on how to survive Hell Week is to sit down and get every- thing out of the way as fast as possible so that they can have a clean slate. This unfortunately never seems to occur and a vast majority end up scrambling last minute to meet the word count for their essay. | feel obliged to outline three useful steps for those unable to deal with Hell week and what methods they should follow to persevere. 1. Coffee. Need | say more? It’s the lifeblood that fuels any good university student with a vast array of homework. It's also cheap, plentiful, and has enough caffeine to keep you awake for days on end. The antici- pated unveiling of Tim Horton’s could not have come at a better time, and |’m sure it will be a great asset to any student feeling the oppression of Hell Week bearing down on them. 2. Distractions. Regardless of what your study habits consist of, without a nice balance of distractions you will begin to go insane. | recall spending two weeks in a row specifically working on assignments in my first year. | didn’t take any breaks and would just come home after class, read, write and eat. In theory this sounds wonderful. In practice it turned me into an insomniac who began to laugh hysterically when my computer decided to crash. Needless to say it’s not an experience which | care to relive any time in the near future. Now | can moderate how much time | spend doing work and how much | squander. Last week was a prime example Sasori a ambition to write another sentence\pe-Tudor England. So after six hours or so of researching, writing and edit- ing, | grabbed my coat and headed up to residence to spend several hours hunched over a computer battling friend and foe alike in Jedi Knight 2. It was just what | needed to clear my head and get a fresh start the next day when | finished the paper. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy... 3. Moderation. Despite what | hear from many other students, cramming two papers into an evening does not typically work. Some people swear by it, others are good at it, but either way | would highly recommend against this. This is not a comical suggestion. Figure out when all your assignments/midterms are and allot yourself a good portion of time to moderate the amount of work you need to do for each subject. In high school | know for a fact it was possible to throw something together last minute, or only spend twenty minutes studying for that exam (trust me that’s all | did) but the fact that we are all paying upwards of $5000 for tuition might be a good incentive. Obviously if you have made it this far in your aca- demic career you know the basics to survive hell week. However this is my third year and let me assure you that it does not get any easier. I’ve managed to get essay writing down to a simple 2-3 day process and my marks have stayed relatively consistent. My methods may not be for everyone however. Others might prefer the fear and doubt that follows all night cram sessions or scores of negative comments branded by professors on essays, but for now I’m going to stick with what works for me. Wednesday, October 30, 2002 New Year's « Spring Break 20,000 students partied with us last year! Montreal from $229 Quebec City trom $229 Daytona Beach tom $199 Panama City Beach ion $299 Acapulco tom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: www.travelcuts. Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max. occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking. : “ 1S The Underground Life Graffiti-laden study-carrels may be removed, and not returned Students must assume ownership of UTSC Cpl. Chris Moy UTSC Police Services As a recent editorial article in the Underground questioned....have the stu- dents of UTSC become apathetic? The article in question was directed at hate graffiti, found mostly on study carrels. The reluctance to get involved is much more pervasive than that however. As a member of UTSC Police, it's something we see on a regular basis in the form of victims and witnesses of crime not willing to come forward to report it. A student is assaulted and _ intimi- dated in front of numerous witnesses in Residence and he declines to press charges and witnesses are reluctant to provide statements. A stalking victim will not seek protection because she doesn’t want to go to court and make a big deal out of it. An assault victim will not identify his assailant. How can the police effectively respond without the cooperation of the public?. Do we have a responsibility to ourselves to refuse to be victims?. The mandate of the UTSC Police Service is not to act unilaterally to iden- tify and find solutions to community prob- lems, but to work in partnership with the community to do such. We are not here to babysit, but to assist through consulta- tion with the community to identify and find the best solutions to problems that affect us all. The study spaces at UTSC are unsuperviseges me belong to the & such becony students of phobic graffi should be o Anti-Graffiti student-driv own sense expected to they use, pl So far in received oO student reg UTSC buil of UTSC se@i unacceptabl will not stop other issue safety, hard personal pra must take ownership of UTSC in order to improve the standard of living and study here, no one will do it for you. One only needs to walk the halls at the end of the day to see the disorder that they are left in. Garbage is strewn everywhere. This is not unlike the attitude that allows graf- fiti to become pervasive. University is a stage in develop- ment where you are supposed to accept responsibility for your actions, environ- mént and future. The time is now for all UTSC students to step up and take back what is theirs. Report crime. Help each other. Clean up after yourself. Be safe. Drive safe. You will indeed find that all you ever really needed to know learned in kindergarten. (See poem by Robert Fulghum). Reporting crime, such as graffiti is the first step in taking leadership, responsi- bility and initative to improve the safety and security of your own environment. Staff, Faculty and members of UTSC Police Services are not going to follow you around and clean up after you. Graffiti will be cleaned up immediately by UTSC Facilities Management when it is reported but one gets the impression that no one really cares about it when it is pervasive and goes unnoticed and unreported. Study space is at a premium at UTSC. One “tough love” approach to http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life | Rants In Satan | Trust by The Lord of Darkness Have you seen the subway commer- cial where the subway pitch-man comes to a frat house and persuades them away from having another night of pizza in place of a fresh subway ‘sammich’ (I frankly think it should be spelt that way). All in all a very cut and dry piece of advertising. Or is it? I’m sure some of you have noticed it. The first time it happened | wasn't really sure it had happened at all. When the slick pitchman comes to the door of the frat where they are receiving their pizza order, he says, “c’mon guys isn’t frosh week over?” But it was not always so. In fact not two weeks ago, the dialogue was different. The line was in fact “c’mon guys isn't hell week over?” It was then that | realized that the big red guy gets a lot of bad press doesn’t he? Overall this is nothing unexpected. | mean, if Time magazine can have a cover story asking if god (small g) is dead then | suppose that subway should be able to remove Satan (big s) from their commercial. But it’s sad when it’s gotten to the point that his name can’t ever; be more at the printers in the saripiite: labs, or the only one who is disgusted as | walk by Tim Horton's and see a line-up resembling that for a ride at Wonderland. A line-up only rivaled by that of the book- store in early September, except this line shows no sign of ever dissipating. | can see it now, at the printer station, “30 minute wait from this point, your lab staff is too lazy to get up and add paper” or “1 hour from here, your school is too cheap to have enough printers to handle the demand.” This can only be topped by a sign outside Tim Horton’s reminding students that if they have a class in the next three days its in their best interest to walk to the Timmy’s at Ellesmere and Neilson. Its really not that far, one day | will test the theory that | could walk there uttered on television. It's also sad because Satan has done so much for humanity in general. If it weren't for Satan, all forms of Christianity wouldn't have been able to guilt anyone into giving them money for giving in to their natural human urges. Satan made them do it of course. That's because he’s a humanitarian. He likes to keep the market going, meaning that it’s no fun if he’s the only competitor. So for the sake of friendly competition good ol’ Satan just keeps on tempting the flock. Let’s not forget Satan's contributions to the arts. Satan is a great source of inspiration for many great artists. Rock n’ Roll was called the devil’s music back in the day. Blues, became rock, became folk, became metal, became r and b, became hip-hop, became rap, became techno etc etc. Wow, so that means Satan inspired an entire art form. Everyday Satan touches lives with the message that we only have one life to live, so therefore we should indulge in the great pleasures that life has to offer. No one suffers, because no one fears punishment for giving in to his or her natural desires. Satan wants people to be happy in life, and not have to give that life up to anyone if they don’t want to. Oh but how | do prattle on. In the inter- est of being my own Devil's advocate, | thought | should mention some of the things that god has inspired just to show you the flip side of the coin, because indeed god has had his fair share of accomplishments. He’s inspired quite a few people to kill and mutilate others for no reason other than a difference of opinion. Every event from the Salem Witch Trials, to the Spanish Inquisition, to the Crusades, was a result of god’s mysterious ways. Oh and he apparently drowned the entire world once. Well that certainly is a nice list there. Well since both Satan and god have accomplished so much then | think there should be no reason why either of their names shouldn't be spoken freely. This is because if the name of the inspiration for death and carnage can be said freely, then why not someone who inspired art and culture? Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Ok, now here’s the part where you begin to question this article, where you smile a little bit and all of a sudden think “oh | see, just another failed attempt at snide, sarcastic humour, in a U of T paper”. But that makes me sad. You see I'm not kidding, I’m dead serious. The fact is that a lot of people agree with me. A lot more than you think. After the initial outrage wears off you'll forget about this writing and fall back into your daze. But that’s perfect, that’s exactly the way it should be. y +-the-tiné gets to the, ant, J something a bwait fon soy print- If you have, you understand wonderful it is to lose the ten Was that thing designed by Energizer? Duracell? The battery dies at least once a day. And that’s just during my classes. Chalk. 99 cents for 24 sticks of marvel- ous white chalk, so why is there never any in the classrooms? Or the transpar- encies that run over the over heads? Or last year, when it took a month to get a new light bulb for the overhead projec- tor? These are the little things that all of my friend’s at other universities take for granted, my how nice it must be to go to mp us Woes a prestigious university that can afford subsidized non-privatized cafeterias and even better than that... chalk. What's wrong here _ people? Something doesn’t add up. Were paying more than ever for our education and getting less and less. Ever taken a class where the tutorials are packed and the professor tells you that this year there are 30 more people in the class, but that the budget doesn’t cover another TA? 30 people at a minimum of $450 a head -- that means the university is taking in $13,500 more dollars for the course, but can't afford to pay another TA. That’s bullshit if | ever heard it. For some reason | feel I’m not alone in my disgust for the way things are run around here... but why am | the only one saying anything (besides the witty person who posted “the line for coffee starts here” signs all over the campus). We are way too passive people. We're letting the SCSU put on events that no one is really interested in, spend our fees on a palm pilot in order to bribe people to “donate” to the food drive, and letting the university as a whole neglect us, what's important to us. Its time to speak up people... we need to do something about this. What? That's the question... to make demands, to have a referendum as the SCSU would, to have our voices heard, to fill those vacant seats on the few councils interested in our voices, to stand up and be heard? Remember the years-gone-by when people had pas- sion and devotion and wouldn't stand to be mowed over by administration? Whatever happened to that passion? Oh, well. | guess it doesn’t matter. And now that I’ve got my opinion “out there” I'll probably just go back to avoid- ing using the slim services we have here. To being steamed every time something runs out or runs long or comes up short. But one person can’t make a difference on their own... can |? ge. heiress 017 The Underground Regarding stupid questions Dear UPSI, Is it ethical for either a student or professor to bring to the attention of the class the ridiculous- ness of a student’s question? We Three Drunken Philosophers Deaw LDP; The question you pose is not only a good one, but it’s also very relevant. I think we’ve all heard the phrase “there’s no such thing as a stupid ques- tion”. Well, needless to say, we disagree. There are many stupid questions. Moreover, it seems to be the stupid questions that are always being asked out loud, any class= Questions like “Does this midterm count for our final grade?” Yes, it counts for your final grade. It’s your midterm, fuckface. But your question is really about whether it’s right for other students or the professor to expose the stupidity of an individual before the whole class. The answer, dear TDP, is a resounding “Yes!” Yes, by all means, tell these numb-skulled jerks where they stand. Professors in particular should be encouraged to pretend that such ridiculous questions were never even asked. Or alternately, profs could do a wonderful service to their other students by asking any stupid individuals that insist on being disruptive to leave the class and re-enroll at DeVry or pursue one of those degrees that Sally Struthers is always hawking on TV. Refrigerator repair? Sounds right up your alley, jerkoff. Stupid and ignorant people should be exposed and then subjected to some serious verbal and physical abuse. It is our responsibility as the intellec- tual elite to help these lost, intellectually short-changed souls to find their true lot in life, namely performing mind-numbing manual labour for their bet- ters. The longer we wait to inform these kids that they’re not getting into the harder it will be to reintegrate them into Our advice: Set them straight. Sooner, rather than med-school with those 1.7 GPAs, the unskilled labour-pool. later. UPSI is Sachin Hingoo and Chris McKinnon (but not Abigail Van Buren) make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com (by way, this is a real address). If you have a problem, some query, quan- dary, or pickle of any kind, please send it to: the ee’ , Men’s B Volleyball Team Intimidates | and Improves To 3-1 By: Herbie Ku literally moved. In the words of Ludacris, “MOVE, Get out the WAY!” In fact, the team arrived significantly ahead of schedule that several players even had Already 2-1 into the season, the Men's B Division volleyball team prepared to battle against New College on October 24th. The team, coming off a bye-week, looked to continue its winning ways. But the evening prior to the game was an event in itself. Coach Jussi “Michael Schumacher” Maattanen provided transportation for the team to its fourth game of the season at the Athletic Centre. The road trip was cer- tainly memorable to say the least. The drive down could be described by, as one anonymous passenger put it sincerely, “| hope these seatbelts work.” The “Finnish Flash” brought the entire team from the UTSC gym to the downtown Athletic Centre in an astounding (and record-breaking) 10 minutes. Little did the team know that the Blue Van could reach unspeakable speeds (say 160 km/ h?) and handle like a rally-car. Veteran Joseph Gujol provided commentary during the ride by yelling at unsuspecting pedestrians, cyclists and anything that time to visit a McDonald’s restaurant, have dinner, change, shower, relieve themselves, brush their teeth, re-do their makeup, and reminisce about the days gone by. After the brief pit stop, the team literally ‘peeled-off’ to the gymnasium for its match. By the time the team finally reached the AC, they were disappointed to find that their opponents for the night, New College, did not show. This possi- bly was in their best interest since they would have been in for a thrashing of a lifetime. However, not wanting to waste the trip down, the team salvaged its voyage by having an inter-squad scrim- mage. The teams were divided between new players and returning players, with the exception of Andrew Kwa leading the rookie squad. The team of Joseph Gujol, Jussi Maattanen, Herbie Ku, and Women’s A Division standout Elvia Law. battled hard against the youngsters. Elbert Nghiem led the offensive with his smooth sets, while hitters Ken Lee, Mohammed Abbasi, and Antony Yang punished the ball with consistency. Ronish Gupta led the back row and in one instance, using his quick thinking reflexes, dove acrobatically to avoid a ball heading out of bounds. After the scrimmage concluded, the team packed its belongings and headed to the van, where no passenger would dare doze off for the ride home. The B team only appears to get stronger with each game as it prepares to head into the playoffs. With several games remaining in the season, this group is coming together and will be a force to be reckoned with in the post season. With New College already intimidated and failing to show up for its scheduled game, maybe other teams should follow suit to avoid an embarrass- ing defeat on the court. a http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ; vents. .-_ Wednesday, October 30, 2002 “ents... The following is a listing of events information tes and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know of event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of _ Oct. 28 The Aboriginal Studies _ Distinguished Lecture Series, - feat. Basil Johnston. West Hall of University College, 15 King’s _ College Circle. 7:00 p.m _ Nov. 1 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Vampyr. Innis | Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. _ Nov. 1 UTSC Coffee House _ this is an open mic, all-ages | event. show begins at 8 pm sharp. admission is free, but it would _ be appreciated if you brought a | non-perishable food item, which | will be donated to the food bank. _ dressing up (halloweenish) is also | encouraged but not mandatory. | many other artists, poets, speakers, _ and comedy acts (to be announced) | will also be performing. the “let go” album will be available for sale at _ this time. _ Leigha Lee Brown Theatre, UTSC Nov. 4 Let go CD Release party _ admission is free. noyz’s set starts at 9:45 pm sharp. the “let go” album will also be available for sale at this time. 2 other bands are on the bill _ (to be announced). please note that this is a licensed event (19+). sorry. _ Legendary Horseshoe Tavern, 370 | Queen St. W., Downtown Toronto, _ Ontario _ (just east of spadina on the north _ side of queen street west) Nov. 6 Marcel Dzama _ More Famous Drawings _ (Art Gallery, to Dec. 15) | Nov. 6 Jeanette Winterson, _ internationally acclaimed author reads from her latest novel The _ Power-Book (Random house). | Young Peoples Theatre, 165 Front St. East Tickets are $10 in advance ' and $15 at the door. 7:00p.m. Call | 416-922-8744 Nov. 7 Fourth Annual S.D. Clarke | Lecture in Sociology feat. Charles Tilly, Joseph L. Buttenweiser, | Professor of Social Sciences at Columbia University. Auditorium, _ University of Toronto Schools, 371 | Bloor Street West Time: TBA Nov. 7 Vic Chorus Concert, Victoria College Chapel, 8:00 p.m. Nov. 7 Woodsworth Fall Lecture: The Good, The Bad & The Profiled: Race, Deviant Behaviour & Police Stop-and-Search Practices. Feat. Professor Scot Wortley, University of Toronto Centre of Criminology, Bissell Building room 205. 4:30 p.m. Admission is free. Information: 416.978.5301. Nov. 7 - 27 Conscious Eating: A Transformational Course for Women. w/ Annahid Dashtgard. 6 - 8p.m. $40, register at the Toronto Women’s Bookstore. info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 8. Friday Workshop Series, feat. lan Sloan. Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m Nov. 8 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Yi Yi: AOne and a Two... Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7: 0O0p.m. Nov. 8 Institute for Women’s ‘ Studies and Gender Studies Public Lecture Series 2002-2003 presents Theorizing Transnationality, Gender and cidzensnip feat. Jacqui Alexander, “The State and the Making of Sexual Citizens” For more info Contact: info@womensbookstore.com Nov. 10 Signs of Hope in the Middle East. Conference, afternoon session at 14:30 vie Auditorium, 252 Bloor Street Free! Speakers include: Prof. Atif Kubursi, Economics, “The background of the conflict”; Prof. Elia Zureik, “The Palestinian refugees”; Rula Sharkawi, “A visit to women in Israel and the West Bank”; Henry Lowi, “The Israeli public at the crossroads’. Nov. 10 Signs of Hope inthe _ Middle East. Conference, evening session at 20:00 Bloor Street United Church, 300 Bloor Street W. Speaker: Noam Chomsky, “Prospects for Peace: Hopes and Barriers.” $10, tickets available only in advance from the Toronto Women’s Bookstore, no telephone reservations. Nov. 12 Alumni of Victoria College Seminar “ls Canada Fading from the American Consciousness’ with Marci MacDonald. Admission $10 for Scarlet & Gold Members, $20 for non-members, contact the Vic Alumni Office to register at 416-585- 4500. Nov. 12 Friends of the Library: An Illustrated Lecture “Authors, Editors, Compilers: Formation of Sacred Texts - The Bible and Beyond.” Speaker: Dr. Sol Nigosian, Victoria College, 91 Charles St. W., Room 115, 4:30 p.m. Nov. 15 Public Lecture “The Suanders Portrait: Why Does it Matter?” Speaker: Alexander Leggatt. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles S. W. 5:00 p.m. Nov. 15 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. He Liu [The River]. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 15 Ronna Bloom Reading (H310), 11 am Nov. 18 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. Marie Campbell. West Hall of University College, 15 King’s College Circle. 7:00 p.m Nov. 18 “Gender and race in Writing” feat. Shani Mootoo, the author of the award-wining Cereus Blooms at Night in discussion with Jean Noble and Trish Salah. University College room 179. 15 King’s College Circle. 7:30 p.m Nov. 20 Ballet Creole Meeting Place 7:30 pm Reserve: 416-287-7007 PWYC Admission Nov. 22 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Hsi Yen [The Wedding Banquet] Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 25 The University Professor Lecture Series, feat. Martin Friedland. “Reflections: A History of the University of Toronto” Location: Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park. 7:00 p.m Nov. 27 Victoria Women’s Association presents “The New Program for First Year Students’ Speaker: Dr. David Cook, Principa Victoria College. Alumni Hall, 2:00 p.m. Nov. 27 to Dec. 1 REEL ASIAN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. See website for more details. http://www.reelasian.com/ Nov. 27 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 27 UTSC Band Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 12 noon: FREE Nov. 28 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 UTSC Choirs Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 7 pm: FREE Nov. 30 End of Term Party This event will celebrate the affiliation of the Toronto Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies with the Sexual Diversity Studies Program and the launch of several scholarships for Sexual Diversity Studies Students. Come and meet other faculty and students who are associated with the program. 5:00p.m.-8:30p.m. University College Room 240 Dec. 6. Friday Workshop Series, feat. Mark Crane, “The Use of bonae literae in Sixteenth-Century France”. Northrop Frye Hall. 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m. Dec. 6 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Meet Me in St. Louis. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. your event could be here! send events listings to undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca _ http:/www,utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/, Uh om el Xo) wal et Creating an even better Meeting Place for Great Minds Phase 4 Residence e Accommodation for 230 undergraduates ¢ Suites with four separate bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen and a living room ¢ Opening August 2003 ARC: UTSC’s Academic Resource Centre ¢ Expanded library facilities, electronic information systems, Phase 4 Residence teaching and learning services and academic resources ¢ Ample student study space, Informatics commons, one of the first digital libraries in Canada, 500-seat lecture theatre that can also be used for musical performances e Opening September 2003 The Doris McCarthy Gallery at UTSC e Adjacent to the ARC and designed to link with it FAN Cory Ver-Vel-saal [a Resource Centre ¢ Includes the Doris McCarthy archives, a new Gallery exhibition space, art storage and a student gallery ¢ Opening in 2003 | The Doris McCarthy Gallery UTSC’ S New Student Centre e The focal point for student life and government at UTSC — e Meeting rooms, lounges and offices to accommodate various student organizations and clubs, as well as Student Affairs, and Health and Wellness Services ¢ Opening August 2004 Student Centre Management Building e A new building dedicated mostly to Management programs including co-op ¢ Specially designed case rooms, skills room, general classrooms, faculty and staff offices e Opening August 2004 Management Building DYom ColVNW elit com ilalemel tian parela=m-loleliiam-dcey’aurm-larelellil(eliat-m el ge) (tena OM B.) Ome what’s happening with parking, the library, curriculum and more? Visit www.utsc.utoronto.ca/growth/ Teen LK SEE eee OOO Ee — Needs You! SCSP (Scarborough) Campus Student Press) is SCSP is currently looking for P on the following porter / _ 2 Full-time student members _ 1 Part-time student member | 1 member of the faculty, sta UTSE oe Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply There will be a general meeting of the scarborough Campus Students’ Press on November 6th, at 8:00 p.m. in Rm $-364. If you're interested in taking on one of the positions listed above, please plan to attend. the Underground Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon Associate Editors Karim Kassam Sachin Hingoo Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager News Editor missing in action Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor vacant vacant Sports Editor Graphics Editor Greg Brown On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Advertising Manager missing in action Accounting Manager Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Accounting Assistants : Millie Ng Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Julie Harper, Sophie Nicholson, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Christian Lucier, Lisa Fncetshy, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak Contributors: : Cpl. Chris Moy, The Lord of Darkness Letters and Opinion Policy | - At The Underground we love Ureolicted meter, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) Couriesy of the snarky editors. Foramore official-sounding Letters and Opinions : Po conan 4 dagergncicautac:« urorentocs The Sreeiground is spubliched bythe Serboush Campus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). ‘ H _http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters p.4 Comments p.5 Feature Fighting HIV/AIDS with education p.6 Confronting UTSC Parking p.7 Arts Act One, Seen Too! p.8 Reviews p.9 - Power Plant: lan Car-Hamis, Janet Cardiff and George Burnes Miller -Swollen Tongues -Natural Selection Life Criminal Harassment p. 1 1 Contacting the Underground Staff Chris McKinnon. Mail: |The Underground, U of T Scarborough Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Wednesday, November 6, 2002 Aiding Youth for Life Students fight HIV/AIDS with education... Act One, Seen Too! The Drama Society brings the annual festival of one-act plays to UTSC... Events Listings p.15 Healthy Living 101 p.12 Columns Frog in My Throat p.5 Weekly Haiku p.6 Satan's Bakesale p.1 1 Nocturnal Street Whores on Rez p.1 2 Diversions p.1 3 Problem-solvers p.14 QueerCorner p.16 Sports pg.16 The Underground Where's the news? Where's the satire? What a week! Things at The Underground have cer- tainly had a shake-up... Martyrs were made in the name of Journalistic Integrity; Editors went (and remain) AWOL. Producing a topnotch, world-class, high-quality tabloid is certainly not for the faint of heart or the weak of spirit. Even | am sometimes prone to the sort of endorphin-hangover that comes from overstimulation, shock-treatment and the like. | once had a media-savvy teacher that told me that you can always tell when there is a lull in “current events” because the media will turn out lots of junk about sex, drugs and healthy living. And while | am the first to admit that “current events” don't exist per se at UTSC (owing maybe to a reality of nonexistence, or more likely to our News Editor’s inability to ferret ‘em out) I'll suggest that certain insolent former- members of the Underground’s Editorial Board check out last week's issue of T/ME Magazine... The headlines, among others: “Marijuana” and “Serial Killers”. Maybe, just maybe, the publishers at TIME-Warner are regular subscribers of The Underground, and they’ve hopped on our sensational- ist bandwagon. Or maybe, The Underground has taken an increasingly satirical stance vis-a-vis other media outlets, offering, as it were a criticism of larger media trends and practices... More and more “respectable” newspapers, magazines and journals are adopting “tabloid” strategies to market themselves, but this does not negate the importance of the journalism they do. Every now and again some decent reporting creeps into the Toronto Sun. More often than not, the Toronto Star has a predisposition to human-interest pieces (and no Macduff, those articles aren't really “news’”). The Globe and Mail runs paid “advertorials” with astound- ing regularity and don't even get me started on the National Post. What I’m getting at here, son, is that you can’t trust a publication’s reputation anymore; maybe back in the good ol’ days, when black was black and white was white, but shucks, today? Today you'll have to sort the good from the bad in any newspaper you pick up. But the underground is a fickle place and this past week, as | might have mentioned, has been rife with anguish and anxiety. This counts as Week 2 without “news” for this paper, which is not to say that we aren't reporting on things that are going on around campus. But rather the senior editors received no submissions from the News staff. | smell a revolution and heads will roll. And if that isn’t enough, as last week's issue went to press our Life Editor quit in a fit of righ- teous indignation. It was a sad thing too, because the incred- ibly derisive, critical even, article that he penned last week was the best thing he’d written all year. Here’s hoping The Frequency can nurture his talents in ways The Underground could not. And here’s hoping Grandma likes articles about live sex shows better than she likes origami penises. Now, back to the issue at hand... This week, The Underground turns out some more fine reportage with a dash of human-interest (a la Toronto Star). Veronica Lo brings us face to face with Aiding Youth for Life, an international AIDS outreach group founded by UTSC Alumni Ali D. Kanji. Meg Hurley figures out how to keep us all from getting fat and unhealthy. And Christian Lucier goes toe-to-toe with UTSC Parking policies... More in tune with our content of late, “The Lord of Darkness” has nothing nice to say about the so-called “diversity” on campus; and UPSI has another rude gesture for Abigail Van Buren. This issue, proves once again, that at The Underground we'll have our cake and eat it too. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief RE: CFS seeks the impossible (by Clayton Haluza) - Do you really want tuition cut- backs? Clayton Haluza raised some very valid arguments in his article last week and | felt the issue needed further mention. | wish to stress something to all those who want drastically reduced tuition after having been accepted into UofT. Ask yourself the following question. Would | even be here if tuition was a fraction of the cost or would | be replaced by someone who showed better academic character in high school when | graduated, but couldn't afford to put themselves into debt by going to university? Some of us are only here because our families could AFFORD to have their child leave for university (this includes those of us paying our own way through school but not having to work multiple jobs to support our parents and siblings instead). UTSC has a finite amount of “student” space to offer even when extensions are built, meaning that if tuition is lowered the next agent of selection might likely be academic merit. So before you go waving your flag around asking for drastic cutbacks on education costs, stop and check to see if you would have ever made the initial draft pick from high school (look around for Christ’s sake, ask the Three Drunken Philosophers how many idiots there are at this school). Otherwise you’re being selfish now that you’ve got your foot in the door and your smarter competitors from high school days are busy working full time to get by. If, however, you're asking for tuition cuts solely because you feel those less fortunate than you deserve a better (merit based) opportunity to go to school, the you're a bloody saint and you obviously do not fit in with students at this school. Quentin Stossel Hate our guts?» Wish. we were dead? Send any gpinions or letters to the editor to: Editor-in-chief i The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room $364 Scarborough, ON MIC 1A4 or email undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca with “Opinion” or “Letter to the Editor” in the subject line. (By the way, we're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) About the Cover The YES side’s cheerleaders pose, with propaganda in hand. UTSC students vote in a referendum November 5, 6, and 7 to determine whether or not UTSC will join the Canadian Federation of Students. Photo by Chris McKinnon “It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.” - G. H. Hardy http://www.utsc.uto onto.ca/—undergnd/ IDWS IA 99. POO. ISI Wight Wednesday, November 6, 2002 Frog In My Throat Merika I. Ramundo | used to think that holidays like Christmas and Valentine's Day were mere exercises in commercial- ism. But I’m beginning to think that there is so much more to these occasions than meets the eye. Let's take Halloween for example. When | was a kid, Halloween was the perfect opportunity to dress up as someone or something that you always wished you could be. | knew, deep down inside, that | could never get away with dress- ing up like Cinderella in the real world, but Halloween was that one chance to express my deepest dreams, desires and exhibitionist tendencies —- to go outside of myself and tell a story through costume and mask while taking advantage of the free candy factor. Never in my wildest dreams would | have thought of bringing activism into this world of goblins, ghosts and ghouls...... that is, until this year. On what is traditionally known as Mad Night, | walked into my residence house to find a bundle of candy on my kitchen table. | thought to myself, “How sweet, someone bought one of my housemates a Halloween-o-gram”. When | examined the package further | was startled to find that it was a package of candy from the Christian Fellowship. What was even more interesting was the biblical quote attached to the package of goodies, on orange paper, no less! Last | heard, Halloween was a pagan tradition. Little did | know that the celebration of Halloween has a long, positive history in the Church. Who knew? | just thought it was a blatant attempt to capitalize on the sweet tooth of UTSC....... most students | spoke with agreed. Had the Christian Fellowship given their candy-faring audience a little history on the connec- tion between Christianity and Halloween there would be less residence complaints about the imposition of New Year's & Spring Break 20,000 students partied with us last year! Montreal 5... $229 Quebec City tom $229 Daytona Beach ion $199 Panama City Beach tom $299 Acapulco tom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: Pat cradavaerlecsustesie Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will yary depending on departure point Above prices based on max. occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking. & http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ My First Activist Halloween religious views onto a particularly diverse university community in Scarborough. One student went so far as to say that if the Christian Fellowship could spread their word via the customs found in Halloween, then why couldn't the LGBTQ, for example, create and sell rainbow Christmas trees or have Drag Queen Santa come down the proverbial chimney? Don't get me wrong, | am not in any way, shape or form condemning university groups with specific mission statements and agendas from expressing their views. Au contraire, | agree with Voltaire when he said, “I may disagree with what you have to say, but | shall defend to the death your right to say it.” | do however think that groups need to be accountable to their audience. This can only come about through the power found in freedom of speech, education and dialogue. Interestingly enough, my first activist Halloween didn't end there. As | walked toward the Meeting Place for the Halloween Pub, | spotted a friend in what was a very interesting and, over the course of the evening, a very controversial costume. He was dressed in a bloody bib and diapers. Draped over his chest and back, were placards. One side had the words “You could be my dadeee’” on it. Yes, boys and girls, he was a bloody fetus. Wow. In all my Halloweens | had never seen anything quite like this before. It seems that neither had anyone else. For the duration of the evening he was inundated with expressions of shock, disgust, laughter, fear and curiosity. People talked about it all night. Some were offended and others likened his costume to that of a fellow UTSC student dressed as Osama Bin Laden. Whether it was done in appropriate taste or not is not a question that has an easy answer. What his cos- tume did do was provide a vehicle for discussion and debate about issues that are somewhat still viewed as taboo in this day and age. Needles to say, the university didn’t kick him out of the pub because of his statement, although some people would probably have preferred that. And at the end of the night, | ate the Christian Fellowship candy wrapped in orange tissue paper sitting on my table. The candy still tasted sweet. Student newspaper seeks reliable editorial staff. The following positions are currently available: - News Section Editor - Life Section Editor For job descriptions and commitment details, please email Chris at c mckinn@hotmail.com The Underground Students use “educational vaccine” to slow HIV/AIDS Veronica Lo finds out what Aiding Youth for Life is all about... Protect yourself. Make a difference. Behind these words is an organization dedi- cated to using education as a means of slowing the spread of HIV/AIDS globally. It’s what Aiding Youth for Life (AYL) calls an “educational vac- cine”. And it started here, at UTSC, with founder Ali D. Kanji (now at the University of British Columbia). After an internship in Tanzania, Kanji was inspired to create an organization that would enable youth to assist youth, while being exposed to primary care in a develop- ing country. Kanji enlisted the help of the Aga Khan Hospital in Dar es Salaam, the capital of Tanzania. The hospital accepted his proposal to host five North American college or university students as summer interns, and the selection process began. In June 2002, Tahira Dosani (Brown University, Providence USA), Salima Khakoo (Guelph University), Anar Hasham and Ali Shivji (both from McGill University) set out for Tanzania - one of the AIDS hotspots of the world. Despite continual advancements in health and medical studies, the startling fact remains that HIV/AIDS is the 4th leading cause of death in the world population, and there is no cure. 80% of AlDS-related deaths occur in sub-Sa- haran Africa, mostly within youth - that’s 2.4 million annually. Tanzania was chosen because it is largely ignored by the world, despite the fact that a sixth of all individuals infected with HIV live there. International efforts to curb the spread of HIV/AIDS have mainly been focused on bordering countries, such as Kenya, Uganda and Zambia. Receiving tremendous support from individ- uals, NGOs and corporate sponsors in Canada and Tanzania, not to mention the University of Toronto and the Scarborough Campus Student Union, AYL received the funding and resources necessary to begin their mission. Eight hours of HIV/AIDS counselling training was _ pro- vided to the team by the Black Coalition for AIDS Prevention, also known as BlackCAP. Well equipped to make a difference, the AYL team arrived in Dar es Salaam on June 29th. Meanwhile, Jessica Shaikh, graduating this year from UTSC, headed the development of AYL’s Scarborough chapter as a Home Team Coordinator. One of the main goals of the mis- sion, says Shaikh, was to “quantify the gaps in the knowledge of youths about HIV/AIDS”. To that effect, 1900 surveys were distributed to students at local secondary schools. The survey, to be administered over two years, will determine how much youth between the ages of 12 and 24 know about the causes, signs, symp- toms and prevention of HIV/AIDS. Targeting this age group is crucial to reducing the spread of HIV, says Shaikh, because they are the ones most at risk of contracting the virus. The results of the survey will allow AIDS awareness groups in Tanzania to develop educational tools for stu- dents, while letting agencies know where they should direct their efforts. “A huge part of the problem is that there is simply no sexual educa- tion in Tanzania, while in North America, adoles- cents are introduced to it as early as grade six.” There are many myths surrounding HIV/ AIDS, and plenty of paranoia. “[Some] say HIV is a disease invented by some American scientists to wipe out the African population, or perhaps that all the condoms that have been distributed in this area are actually infected with the virus, so no one should use them,” says Ali Shivji. The latter was a prevailing myth in urban areas of Tanzania. Shaikh noted that “there is a discrepancy between tones in rural and urban areas,” regarding attitudes towards HIV/AIDS. Unfortunately, contraction of the virus means that an individual will not only suffer physically, but carry the burden of the social stigma of HIV as well. In response to this, the AYL field team hosted a forum with medical school students at the Muhimbili University College of Health Sciences (MUCHS), discussing social stigmas and community-based care. “Our goals are sustainable development,” says Shaikh. “We Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingo Meta Haiku f Haiku about Haibu’ So you say you re bored Schoo2work s just not doing it You should write haiku don’t want to just throw money and condoms at them and leave.” By providing education and awareness, AYL hopes to create a “community effect” in which that information will be passed on to future generations. While in Tanzania, the AYL team was also busy creating chapters at MUCHS and at Mzizima, in Dar es Salaam, to carry on their work. And they are looking into developing chapters in Southeast Asia, where the rates of HIV infection are beginning to rise. Here at Scarborough, where AIDS is not so much of a crisis, there is still much work to be done. AYL’s local mandate at UTSC, which is their first North American chapter, includes educating students about HIV/AIDS and raising funds to send next year’s team back to Tanzania, to honour their three-year commitment. At the Scarborough Campus, there is currently no home base for students with questions regarding AIDS and STDS. AYL hopes to create a one-on-one peer counselling centre at the campus to fill the void. “Our mandate goes beyond AIDS,” says Shaikh. “We also want to focus on general health issues.” In September, AYL participated in AIDS Walk Toronto, an annual fundraising event. Because all of the profits went to the AIDS Committee of Toronto, AYL is planning more fundraising events at UTSC within the next year. One of those is “STOP the POP!”, to be held in early November. Annoying pop music will be played at an HIV/AIDS awareness booth until AYL receives $250 in donations. In early December, just before the holidays, AYL will hold a Holiday Spirit Campaign at Centenery Hospital. For the youth at the hospital who won't make it home for Christmas, UTSC volunteers will be delivering care packages containing crayons, colouring books and other small gifts. As Shaikh says: “Each student has the capability to do some- thing, even though it seems hopeless.” ie S e Cas eet Feature ‘http/Ayww.utse,utoronto.ca/sundergnd/ Sl ae :-. Feature Wednesday, November 6, 2002 To Park or Not to Park: There are so many questions lf there is one thing commuters at UTSC have in common, it is a disgust and contempt for the parking at this campus. This resentment is not only fueled by the overcrowded and hectic conditions of the parking lots, but the ridiculous prices one has to pay in order to park. This goes for both the inner and outer lots. Having come face-to-face with the issues above, | decided to embark on a quest to get to the bottom of this mess. | wanted to stop feeling frustrated and angry at the parking conditions, and try to understand why they are the way they are. My quest began as follows: | started at the most obvious place, the Parking Office. Welcomed and greeted pleasantly by one of the women who work in the office, | thought my quest would be over soon enough. However, the exact opposite took place. | was informed by the young woman behind the counter that the parking office is not allowed to disclose any information to the media. Fair enough. At the same time, she directed me to another person, who might be able to answer my ques- tions: Maria Dyck, Associate Principal of Advancement. UTSC Parking escaped my grasp again, for when | reached Ms. Dyck’s office, she was away. This left me with no other leads and little time. When | got home, | quickly went to the UTSC homepage to see if | could find Ms. Dyck’s email address. Soon enough, | had the email address and was writing a detailed email, with my questions and concerns stated clearly. Yet again, UTSC Parking slipped through my fingers. Ms. Dyck’s email arrived about a day later and stated the following: “Hi Christian. The best person to answer your ques- tions is Kim McLean, Associate Principal and Chief Administrative Officer. Parking is one of her areas of responsibility. Unfortunately Kim has been away sick yes- terday and today. I’m sure she will be in touch as soon as she returns. Please let me know if you need any additional information.” Stonewalled! | have not heard from Ms. McLean, and wait eagerly for her reply. Have no fear readers, | will get to the bottom of this if it kills me. The road has been long and hard, but | am a contender. All| (and every other commuter) really want to know are three little, itty-bitty things: 1. Who determines the prices for the various types of parking at UTSC? 2. Why do the prices in parking raise each year when the parking spaces and quality remain the same, or get worse? 3. What are the plans for parking next year, con- sidering the drastic increase in student bodies and construction? Don’t get me wrong readers, | have my assumptions for the questions at hand, however | am going to be profes- sional about this matter. i will not blast or grill anyone. My next move is to press for the information until | am satisfied. Let me note though, my interest in UTSC Parking has only increased due to the difficulty in obtaining this information. It is as though there is some kind of parking conspiracy where even the mentioning of it results in a hushed silence. So, stay tuned, because the battle between UTSC Parking and | has not even begun. Shoot, | have yet to break a sweat... \irats Fe! _http:/www.utse.utorénite.ca/“underghd/ The Underground Student directors prepare for Act One Seen Too! Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Act One Seen Too! is a one-act theatrical festival created a few years ago by the campus Drama Society which gives students of all levels and areas of study the opportunity to get involved in the theatre in a variety of capacities. Students are given the opportunity to write, direct, act, stage manage or perform tech work. The fes- tival is produced by the Drama Society and has enjoyed tremendous response from the UTSC community, since its inception. We had a chance to talk with some of the new student directors about their experience with the festival. Underground: Tell me a little about your script and what attracted you to it. Sarah Stevenson: The play was offered from Lindsey and Shelagh, they lent me a book from Neil Simon. | didn't really read it yet, but | had an idea of what to do with it. It's about a man who thinks he’s king of the world and can seduce anyone, and about a hus- band and wife and he goes after the wife and finds out after all he can’t be a seducer because he real- izes he has a conscience, so he leaves her alone and he falls in love. Shelagh Hughes: Lindsey and | are doing a scene called Poor Man’s Samuel Beckett and its basi- cally we changed it so that it’s siblings arguing at a wedding reception about something the audience doesn’t know what we're arguing about, and just yelling at each other until we eventually get into a food fight. Andrew Epstien: My scene's called Four Yorkshiremen, it's just a Monty Python sketch that | ripped off from their Live Bowl performance because | think it’s pretty silly and | have no other particular motivation than making people look silly and making people laugh because people are looking silly. Krista Watson: My play is called The Role of Stella and it’s an audition piece. Basically it's a mistaken identity. It's cute and that’s why | picked it. | really wanted to give the first-years and the second-years a chance to be on stage. Yuri Cho: | wrote it the day before we were to hand it in and | didn’t think that it would get accepted because it’s different. The script is composed of experiences that | have to deal with being a Korean girl growing up in Toronto, and having to deal with all sorts of people who automatically stamp a stereotype on my forehead because | have yellow skin, black hair and slanted eyes. UG: Have there been any problems putting it together? SS: People coming when they're supposed to come and knowing their schedule has been a problem. Making sure | can get the theatre can be a problem. Pretty good, some difficulties but not too much. SH: No, there haven’t been any real problems because we both have the same amount of free time and its just the two of us in the scene, directing ourselves. The only real problem | think has been getting props together because basically consists of food. Lindsey Forbes: Whipping raisins at each other is always fun. SH: We've been practicing throwing raisins at each other and it hurts. Raisins hurt. AE: There have been problems, but to be honest this has been the one area where | really don’t care. There have just been small problems with people being a little thick headed. It really hasn't been much of an issue, | really don’t care. UG: Have you had any past experience as a director? If not, how is Act One Seen Too! as an introduction to the process? SS: I've never directed, this is my first time. It’s an excellent experience. It taught me a lot. I’ve been around the theatre a very long time but never done this so it was very nice to be in charge and get it my way or the highway. SH: | directed last year, | directed Lindsey in a show last year. This year’s a little different because I’m direct- ing with Lindsey so it’s nice to have someone else to take responsibility with me. | directed before and this isn’t my first time, I’ve had many. It’s really fun, | love directing, | like being in charge, except | have no one to boss around because she has just as much power as me and she can just say no. AE: This is my first time directing, no, it’s a lot of fun, it’s actually more fun then I’ve had in a very long time. | haven't had this much fun since | got to play a penis on stage. And the funny thing is that’s not a load of bullshit. | haven’t had this much fun since | played a cock and it’s a lot of fun to realize that | can actu- ally direct. KW: It is my first time directing. | was part of the fes- tival last year; | acted in the festival last year but I’ve never directed anything before so I’m a little nervous. |’m kind of scared, but I think that the girls that will be in my presentation will be able to pull it off. | think Act One Seen Too! is a wonderful experi- ence for anyone whose never performed in theatre here, because if people are used to the theatre and the people who run the theatre then it sets them up for all the other productions they put on here and gets them used to everything. YC: This is my first time directing and so far it’s easy. | believe that as long as you're a creative person you can direct and act. It’s really all a bit overrated, this directing thing. LF: UG: What's the atmosphere around the production? Is everyone excited, nervous, is it all just fun and games or are people worried about how it will go? SS: The actors are fabulous. They’re ready to go. They've done excellently. They know their lines, they know their scenes. | think they're just excited to do this. | can’t wait to run the lights, it'll be fucking amazing. SH: | don’t think we'll actually be tense until five minutes before the performance or the actual date of the performance because we're very busy trying to get everything else organized because we're on coun- cil. So it won't be until the night of hits that we'll be, sort of, tearing our hair out. AE: It's all part of my world domination plan that we have here. First | make a small skit for a drama festival at Scarborough College. They're a very funny bunch of people. In front of me sometimes they're as nervous as hell, but | put them in front of an audience, | put them in front of a few people the other day and they blow through it and give the best performance so far. So that annoyed the hell out of me, but | was happy to see that performance come through. KW: I’m a little anxious just because the date is coming up really quickly, and we've been rehearsing every Monday and Friday for about two hours and it’s coming along well, they have all their lines memo- rized. And it’s nerve racking because I’ve never directed before and of course | want it to go on well but there are things you have to account for going wrong because there always are in the theatre But | think they'll do a wonderful job and |'ll be proud of them no matter what. UG: What can audiences !ook forward to in coming to see Act One Seen Too? SS: Hardcore nudity. No, unfortunately | have no nudity. | have some nudity but it’s all in the back so you can't see it They can expect a lot of laughs, a great time, and great actors. SH: Hopefully they’ll find it's as much fun as me in preparing this project and basically, finish off my sentence Lindsey LF: Basically they get a cake in the face. AE: It’s a lot of fun for a very short scene and | think people will like it. It’s all about timing though. KW: Anight of fun. It’s so fun. It's a really, really good night of theatre. It’s a lot of short plays, usually they're comic plays. It’s just light and fluffy and it doesn’t deal with any major issues or anything, it’s just a night of cute, little plays basically. It’s just a chance for people who are new to the different art forms and new to the school to really get a chance to know us. YC: | just hope that everyone comes and that they have a really good time. It’s not a class. They don’t have to take anything away with them. They just sit there and watch us perform and either like it or not care for it. Act One Seen Too! will be run November 7 - 9 in the Leigha Lee Brown Theatre. Each evening’s perfor- mances begin at 8 p.m.. The opening night will consist of a post-reception gala that will include free goodies and beverages. Ticket prices are $15 for opening night and $10 for the following nights, but members of the Drama Society will receive a special discount. Act One Seen Too! http:/Awww.utsc:utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, November 6, 2002 Contemp Can-Art at the Power Plant What’s not to like? lan Carr-Harris, Janet Cardiff | and George Bures Miller at the Power Plant September 21st to November 17th Swollen Tongues, By Kathleen Oliver. Directed by Richard Rose. With Ben Carlson, Karen Hines, Melody Johnson, and Nancy Palk Presented by Necessary Angel at Factory Studio (125 Bathurst St) Runs October 24-November 10 $22-$30, PWYC matinees, student discount 416-504-9971 Elena Bird The drawers are locked, the cabinets sealed shut, no one knows why, but the answer seems to be undeniably “Yes”. There is a threshold to cross, but only if you've requested a ticket in advance. The autumn exhibitions at the Power Plant stop short before beginning. Prominent artist lan Carr-Harris, and new art stars Janet Cardiff and George Bures Miller, are brought together in a sensi- tively installed double-bill that presents the best of recent Canadian contemporary art making. What's not to like? Carr-Harris has been on the scene since the 1970s, producing provocative, contemplative, intellectual works that reduce an event or a moment to its essential compo- nents. This survey of seven sculptural installations from 1989 to present is neat and clean, both conceptually and formally. They reveal the artist's ongoing examination of institutional learning through his use of blackboards, textbooks, classroom cabinets and set-piece references to dictionaries, taxonomies and classic literature. The tone is set at the beginning of the exhibition. 8, rue Ferrand (2001) is a projection of light patterns on to the gallery wall that makes an illusion of sunlight coming in through two windows. Along the edge of the “window frame” shadows are bands of blue and flesh-toned light that change width as you spend time with the work. The sway of the penumbra reads as a record of time passing as an artificial sun moves across the sky. Night never befalls this room nor is there a cloudy moment. It was difficult to tell if | was inside looking out or outside look- ing in. Although delicate and beautifully crafted, the sculp- ture becomes almost non-dimensional. It engages the Tongues aren’t wagging Restoration comedy’s simple humour Julianne Baragar Tongue-twisting, gender-bending, and lovemaking. | (hese, matched with a tendency to speak in rhyming couplets, are the elements of Kathleen Oliver’s Swollen Tongues. Tongues takes its inspiration from Restoration | comedy, a genre focused on the upper class preoccupa- | tion with seduction, marriage, fashion and wit; however, Oliver manipulates the style with a contemporary les- bian-feminist perspective. Though the play is vaguely set in the 17th century, references to Jerry Lee Lewis Mand valley-giri-speak pepper the dialogue. Catherine (Karen Hines) and Thomas (Ben Carlson) are brother and sister, studying the art of poetry under the tutelage of Dr. Wise (Nancy Palk in drag). Enter Sonja (Melody A. Johnson), the seductive dressmaker, who wins the lust of both siblings. This premise is enough to spark sexy poetry competitions, gender-bend- ing disguises, a journey to a haunted lesbian oasis, and a few not-so-surprising surprises. This is Oliver's first play, and though it provides enough laughter and ticks to entertain, it struggles to move beyond the gags and say something interesting. One claim made of the play is that it exposes the chal- lenges facing closeted Restoration lesbians. The lovers (of all genders and persuasions) are reduced to a lustful existence, and any comment on history is lost in a frenzy of heaving bosoms and cross-dressing chaos. Aside from any attempts at the discussion of art and politics, Tongues provides an opportunity for the mind, not the body. Carr-Harris brings the viewer into a strange landscape and asks her to think hard about what is going on. Thankfully, distractions such as the two red and blue Disney and Buddha figurines within the cabinets of Made in Hong Kong (1993), the transparent carpenter tape that binds a stack of magazines in Jan- Mar (1993) or the backlit repetition of the word “Yes” ona blackboard of scripted text from James Joyce's Ulysses in Molly (2002) direct the intellectual journey towards pleasure and enjoyment. The Cardiff-Miller’s Paradise Institute (2001) also critiques distractions, of entertainment rather than the classroom. Appearing as nondescript as a dumpster from the outside, the doors open onto two rows of movie seats on a balcony overlooking an ornate movie theatre rendered as a perfect miniature model. The thirteen-minute black-and-white movie pieces together the classic ingredients of a feature film. There is sus- pense, danger, a bad guy, a hot nurse and a helpless patient. But this movie isn’t about the movie. It is about the experience of watching a movie. Each seat has its own set of headphones, through which the viewer listens to Cardiff's enchanting sound montages. A cell phone rings, someone offers you popcorn as the movie progresses it is hard to separate the soundtrack and the background noises of the theatre experience. Although it engages and pleases the senses, the Paradise Institute is still quite regimented. The viewer passively partici- pates in a predetermined experience. Like Carr-Harris, Cardiff and Miller take snippets from the real to create enigmatic collages of narrative. performers to exhibit their virtuosity, though they don't all capitalize on it. Hines had the most successful go; she was able to bring out the beauty of Oliver's poetry while delivering punch lines with impeccable timing and tone. Her background in clown (she directs the horror-clown duo Mump and Smoot) shone through in her energy, physicality, and her commitment to the most absurd moments. The other performers were less successful. Nancy Palk seemed stuck in her serious classical acting. Melody A. Johnson had fun in drag, but had difficulty pulling off the sass that the diva dressmaker required. A disappointing Ben Carlson bumbled through most of the first act, unsure of how to react, and his presence was reduced to a cheap drag sideshow in the second. It is, however, worth sitting through the largely unin- teresting opening scene in order to revel in the absurdity of the second act. In the second, the energy picks up, the writing becomes wittier and less self-aware, and the design elements finally become unified. The scenic and lighting designs catch up to the consistently beautiful costuming in the final scene, creating a truly appealing picture within which to play out the ridiculous climax. Though the show gets off to a painfully slow start, and the design is often flawed, Hines’ performance, and Oliver's fast wit make the show worthwhile. The laughs come quickly, as do the visual gags, and the big finish is delightful. Swollen Tongues plays until November 10th at the Factory Studio Theatre. el sty at eta she : oie 2Qruaes _ pte its utoronto.ca/~undergnd ‘eae The Underground New mod revamps Half-Life Ambitious game blends genres Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Some of the most popular PC games in the past few years have come out of independent mod developers. Mods, which use the engine of profession- ally developed games as backbones for independent projects, are generally slight variations on their predecessors. Perhaps the best known example of a popular mod is Counter-Strike, which used the first person shooter (FPS) game engine of Half-Life to create a team based game of terrorist stand offs. Still, other then tweaking the game play, designing new levels and skins and alter- ing the objective of the game, the basic game mechanics behind a mod usually remain close to the original it was based on. This is one reason why the newest Half-Life mod to be independently pro- duced is creating a stir amongst fans of the FPS genre. The game is called Natural Selection, and although it’s a mod, so much effort has been put into its development that game critics are saying it looks like a completely original project. Completely redeveloped graphic skins and drastically improved visual effects gives Natural Selection a unique look that stands out amongst other mods based on its engine. But the immense effort made in redeveloping the game’s graph- ics is only the beginning. What really has gamers excited is the ambitious redesign of game play. Natural Selection is more innovative and ambitious then most any professionally developed game. The theme behind Natural Selection is the classical space marine versus alien infestation made popular by the Aliens movie series. Players choose between joining a group of aliens infesting space stations, vessels or other similar locales and a team of marines who are sent to exterminate them. The brilliant quality of Natural Selection lies in the nuances and detail put into the mechanics of playing on each team. The developers of the mod have drawn on elements of real time strategy (RTS) and character building to create a unique gaming experience that is part shooter and part strategy. As the marines, the players begin their mission with a command console which one player can take control of. This player’s perspective changes from FPS to the overtop perspective of an RTS. He sees the action from a birds eye view and can use a cursor to give his teammates waypoints, commands and spend resource points gained by secur- ing different points throughout the map. As the marine team gains more ground and resources the commander can create structures that allow the marines to upgrade their armor and weapons, turrets to defend positions and purchase ammo and items to provide the marines with support. Teamwork and communi- cation between the players on the field and their commander is essential in gain- ing ground through the map. The alien team has no such com- mander but instead each player has personal resource points that they can use to upgrade and evolve their alien. Spreading their infestation throughout the map gives them more possible upgrades and the wide number of options allows each player to personalize their abilities. Along with upgrading their movement, armor, stealth abilities and sensory abili- ties, aliens can choose to evolve into a new life form. Beginning as small dog- like wall-crawlers, they can grow into flying bats, teleporting bipeds or even giant armored juggernauts. While the strengths of an alien seem to outweigh that of a marine, they'll still need to work together to overcome the more orga- nized marine efforts. Natural Selection became avail- able for free download on October 31. You can get it from the official website www.natural-selection.org, but you'll need Half-Life installed on your com- puter to play it. Unfortunately, the great potential for game play that team of inde- pendent developers has pieced together in this admirable project is impeded by a number of problems. Heavy lag is still Review / Comics a problem on most servers, and a steep learning curve will leave first time play- ers lost in the large maps, confused as to what to do. Also, it seems that the marine team has a noticeable advantage over aliens with their superior ability to fortify an area of the map and communi- cate with their teammates. Nonetheless, problems with lag will be clear up once more servers are carrying the game and update patches are released. If a player can learn the nuances of the game, the potential for great game play and epic matches will make it worthwhile. For anyone who ever played Warcraft and wished that the units they commanded were real people, this is the next step in the innovation of videogame genre blending. SELF 2 HATRED ae: YES FOLKS, 11's yet another fobiographical Comic. l/m sanabe | a if give You a lot | of details about myself. by SARAH 8. THEN BAND OF BROTHERS came on, which is like the worst show ever on eorth. ! guess Steven Spielberg need diversion while hunting do Holocaust sufvivors.. Come on, Mes. Bronfmann. [ know you're @ Survivor, meanit our Memories are the i roperty of Dreamworks! rs URINATOR hy feck ye you. Gee whir, Tommy gof hisself we run over bya tank. Look , he's still get a flower in his pocket... 6” yaw! | | My as ce ‘ mu | like +o watch TV. The anes night | watched Seinfeld. | Pelt bad because | like to pee in the shower too, httpyAvww.utsc:utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, November 6, 2002 ee a ee a. Wednesday, November 6, 2002 Satan’s Bakesale The Lord of Darkness Have you taken a look at the UTSC logo? | mean really look at it and think about what it might mean. One distinct part of that logo is the tree that sits atop it. That tree attracts particular attention. It seems out of place, like it was never meant to be there. The crest below it almost seems to reject it, letting it know that it doesn’t belong. Naturally, there is a very good reason for this. The tree has come to represent the diverse society that Scarborough Campus is supposed to have. But it doesn’t have it, and the tree knows that as long as it sits atop that crest, that it will represent a lie. The lie that says that this is a campus that embodies a truly diverse society. The truth is that most students at this campus are trying as hard as they can not to be diverse. In fact, there’s an incredible amount of segregation here at UTSC. Clubs’ Day is the worst. When all the clubs sit at their tables, clamour- ing at the froshies to ally themselves. If you don't you'll get lost in the jungle my friend. University can be an even colder place than high school. Please don’t tell me you haven't seen them? They're the faces of those people you see every day, but have never seen actually talking to anyone. So instead of having a diverse community that intermingles, we have a set of enclosed groups who don't tolerate one another. Seriously, the amount of general hatred among the students on_ this campus is astounding. |’m not talking about the odd racist joke or a piece of graffiti on the study desks. But just walk- ing in the hall, no one is really paying attention to each other. But if you did you would catch the most amazing words popping out of people's mouths. Sitting behind you in that large lecture hall, beside, you on one of those black couches, or just walking past you. You know you hear it, but you just block it out of your mind. “Queer” gets men- tioned a lot. “Fag”, “Homo” all that stuff. | find it funny that homophobic people spend quite a lot of their time talking about homosexuals, perhaps reveal- ing some hidden desire in the process. As if the LGTBQ people didn’t have enough trouble with people vandal- izing their posters with christian (small c) slogans. Just the other night while walking in the H-Wing hall | came upon a group of students laughing their heads off at the positive space poster outside the caff. The LGTBQ website says they offer a “discrete and private” environ- ment. That's the level of fear we have at UTSC. Incidentally, a link to the LGTBQ website only appeared on the UTSC site this year. Also our old friend the tree was used as a logo on a UTSC student's anti- LGTBQ site two years ago. Despite the fact that the US Civil War ended many a moon ago, the word “nigger” still gets tossed around from time to time. This surprises me more and more every time | catch it, because you'd think a place with a significant black population would inspire less racism. Oh well, | don’t understand. There's tons more, everything from “chink” to “fucking jew’. I've heard ‘em all, and have been called more than one of them on many an occasion. Case in point, one night CSCR, the student radio station, was on the receiving end of three hours of prank calling, because they were playing “white people music”. Upon hearing of the inci- dent the station’s program manager was quoted, as saying that possible legal action would be pursued. So here were are. Most of the stu- dents at UTSC basically hate each other for one reason or another. Their upbringing has told them that they can’t open their minds to anything beyond what they know. Now we are stuck in this spiral towards annihilation, because no one really wants to deal with anyone that doesn't meet his or her strict set of criteria. Rock meet The Hard Place, The Hard Place meet The Rock (jibroni). But of course | admit that like everyone, I’m a part of it too. I’m a horribly intolerant person in general with no regard for almost all political and religious orga- nizations. Funny thing is | really didn't become this way until | came here. But I’m not ignorant, and I’m not intolerant of people who are tolerant of me. | co-exist with people even when | disagree with them vehemently on almost everything. | suppose it just saddens me every time | realize that in general, to para- phrase Beckett, most people are bloody ignorant apes, and I’m reminded of that every time | see that tree. That tree, my friends, is the real conspiracy here at UTSC. It's the smooth coat of paint over the gnarled rust that festers under it. That tree has no use except to blind us from the truth, so | say we burn it to the ground, and start from the beginning. Kill ‘em all, let god sort them out... Criminal Harassment What To Do If You Or Someone You Know Is Being Harrassed Cpl. Chris Moy, UTSC Police Each school year, the UTSC Police receive several reports from female students that they are the victims of unwanted, persistent and obsessive behavior, usually from ex-boyfriends or rejected or obsessive admirers. This conduct should be seen as a means of exerting control over former or prospec- tive partners, and not as an expression of love or affection. Often it is the obsessive conduct of perpetrator, rather than actual threats, that cause the victim’s fear. Section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada, which creates the offence of Criminal Harassment (formerly known as Stalking) was enacted in 1993 to deal with situations where a person, usually a woman, is subjected to harassing behav- ior and feels that there is a threat to her safety. Section 264 reads “No person shall, without lawful authority and knowing that another person is harassed, engage in conduct referred to below, that causes the other person reasonably, in all the circumstances, to fear for their safety or the safety of anyone known to them”. The prohibited conduct conisists of: - repeatedly following from place to place or communicating with either directly or indirectly with the other person or anyone known to them. This can include harassing phone calls, emails, faxes or letters. - repeatedly besetting or watch- ing a place where the other person, or anyone known to them, resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; or -engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or any member of their family. What can you do? Unfortunately, this type of behavior is becoming an increasing concern within the University setting. At the time of the first and every subsequent harassing act, be sure to make it clear to the person that they are harassing you and that their behavior is unwanted. This step is very important. Document all details including the location, time, date and circumstances of the conduct, as a reference in the event Police assistance is required now or in the future. If the harassment comes in the form of repeated telephone calls, you can change your phone number and keep it unlisted. You may also utilize Bell tele- phone services such as Call Display, Call Screen (*60), Call Trace (*57) and Last Call Return (*69). See your phone book for details. If the harassment includes receiv- ing gifts, cards, or e-mails, save these as they may prove to be key pieces of evidence later. If you fear for your own safety or that of your family or property, you can apply for a peace bond under Section 810 of the Criminal Code of Canada. This would be granted by a Justice of the Peace and would order your harasser not to contact you or your family and to keep a certain distance form your home, school or workplace. Other conditions can also be imposed. If you are a resident or student of UTSC, a trespass ban can be imposed on the offender, as well as criminal charges for harassing or threatening behavior. Providing UTSC Police with details of past contact and a photo of the offender, will assist with any ongoing investigation. UTSC Police can provide you with a “Mobile 911” phone to put you in immediate contact with Police should an emergency arise. If you are a victim of this type of behavior, please contact the University of Toronto Police at Scarborough at (416)287-7398 for assistance, referral or additional information. nnn nT nnn eres Aut “http:/Avww utsciutoronto.ea/~underghd/ i The Underground Life : Nocturnal Street Whores on Rez Julie ‘ Jalepeno’ Harper & Sophie ‘Squash’ Nicholson Julie’s Random thought: Sex-a-holics need detox too! Broken rib breaking your stride, taking all the fun out of breathing. Well you shouldn't have over- used that detachable massaging shower head. “| hate people, but | love gatherings. Isn't that lronic?”- Clerks the movie. Lisa: Isn't that a good quote? Lisa: | have to drive in four hours, i think {i should stop drink- ing. Yes, 1! guess i should _ stop. Guys, i have two different colored socks that i put on while drunk. Isn’t that funny i did that while drunk. You gonna eat while lying down? (motions to friend Christine). ‘Cuz | am gonna have to give you the Himlick! [Christine comes walking back down the stairs] Sophie: WOW! Crash! Julie: Something’s thumpin like Hell! Sophie: Yea, she’s back. Christine: | need an alarm clock. Thank you [...Andmarriedwithchildrenplayson...] (Something about impotence) Matt: Everytime | eat something, you know food, it feels like the tube is getting tighter. hahahaha! Sophie: Why didn’t you wear that pimp jacket to the Pub? [motionning to sara sitting nearby in a chair] Sara: Blech!! What kind of things do you put in your mouth? Lisa: Everything! Matt: Food Lisa:... Have you ever seen the Sweetest Thing? Julie: Yes Lisa: Piercings aren't a good idea Sophie: Oh Prince Albert-hey he worked our pub last nite, i mean tonight. Sophie:Hey dood can you show me what has been written? Julie: No... there are people around here. Sophie:What the cat with the big balls? Julie: | am writing everything down- Booyah! Julie’s thoughts (Wow they just said sexual beast on the t.v.-grrr. | really am enjoying this dry wine. What to talk about next..Ammm) Julie: So Sophie what is your opinion of Fire Hydrants or extinguishers? Sophie: They are absolutely neces- sary as a precaution because it saves lives. Julie: Is it true that you used on to put out a recent fire in your pants? Sophie: Dood no! There has never been a documented fire in my pants, and if the fire did exist (Nov. of 1970)- get it. Never Happened! Ok. It does burn when i pee, but its because of you, julie. Julie: Well | thought that Herpes cream i borrowed from you worked. | didn’t know that it really was for your hemorrhoids. Lickity Split. | could go for a banana. Sophie: Sweet! How long does this have to be? Julie: | think around 600 words. Sophie: Oh geeze Julie: | feel like frolicking out- side and nibbling on garden salad. Your thoughts on sharing food? Sophie: hmmmmm. you are evil. Must change subject. Sophie: Gold-bond’s supposed to give you a tingling feeling during mastur- bation. Well | learnt that from the guys | lived with in second year. Julie: My brain hurts. And its Gold-Bond you _ Say... Dood this is about as fun as a ‘High Colonic in Tijuana’ or grabbing your ankles without proper vasoline. Sophie: Speaking of which-Gotta go. Words of Wisdom: When there’s a dance mix ‘95 party happening out- side your house, 1,2,3 train with me oh oh...oh oh...Woohoo!! Healthy Living 101 _Meghan Hurley finds out how to keep healthy... Food services on campus, and the overall well being of the students is a prevalent issue at UTSC. For first-year students especially, adjusting to univer- sity life may result in gaining the lovely ‘freshman 15’. All newcomers dread this inevitable weight gain, and all seniors know exactly how to avoid it. How can services on campus help first-year stu- dents to escape such a nightmare? The Health and Wellness Centre is accessible to all students and the nutri- tion peer educators there can help you to establish a diet that suits your needs. The mission statement of the Health and Wellness Centre is to “assist students to achieve psychical and emotional health, thereby supporting them in their successful pursuit of their academic goals”. A combination of the expertise of the nutrition peer educators, and the personal counseling at the Health and Wellness Centre can start you on your way to overall well being. Nutrition peer educators are vol- unteer students who assist students in making healthy lifestyle choices. The peer educators run an “Eating Healthy Together” program in which students receive cooking demonstrations, food safety lessons and general nutritional information. Eating healthy while you are taking five full courses, working part- time and doing fifty hours of homework a week can be almost impossible. The nutrition peer educators contribute to the health and wellness of all students. If you don’t know how to cook healthy, then drop into the Health and Wellness Centre located in the S- wing of the school. The main source of reference for the nutrition peer educators is Canada’s food guide. They use this chart to assist students in developing a plan for weight loss, weight gain or overall healthy eating. Some suggestions they give are to reduce your cholesterol and fat intake. Yes, this means boycotting Pizza Pizza, and the H-Wing “Home Zone” food. The nutrition peer educators will inform you that oil dripping off your pizza, and greasy burgers will not lead to nutritional success. You will have to resort to whole grain, dark green, low fat or lean foods in order to beat the deadly effects of fat and cholesterol on your vulnerable arter- ies. Another secret to healthy living is to eat slowly and chew your food. Food that has been chewed well will be digested easier. It is true that you can eat healthy, even if you are restricted to campus food services. You can grab a pita in the R-wing, a pre-made salad in the H-wing or watch the friendly staff at Tim Horton’s make you a sandwich right before your eyes. If you don’t feel like waiting in line for two hours, you can learn to make healthy meals in your residence kitchen, or for all you commuters, brown bag it! Bringing nutritious food from home will not only help you stay healthy, but it will also help your wallet. It is possible for you to have a balanced diet if you don’t settle for fast food that is high in choles- terol and calories. Along with the nutrition peer educa- tors, the Health and Wellness Centre also. offers personal counseling. Psychotherapy is offered for mental, emotional and interpersonal problems like, anxiety, depression, stress, and self esteem. These sorts of issues can lead to overeating so they must be addressed before your health is jeopardized. Stress is one of the leading causes of negative changes in eating patterns. Small posi- tive changes in your eating habits can make a significant difference in your total body fat, sugar and fibre intake. All you have to do is book an appointment at the Health and Wellness Centre and the nutritional educators will help you get on your way to healthy living. Along with help from the nutritional peer educators and personal counselors, you can also take up an exercise program at the gym on campus, The Key. You can hop on the treadmill or pump iron with the weight machines to tone up those prob- lem areas and keep the heart in shape. Membership at The Key is already included in your incendental tuition fees, so it can’t hurt to workout a few times a week. Regular moderate exercise is the best way to get rid of stress. So, there you have it, healthy living 101. Avoiding junk food and staying healthy can be done, even if you live in residence. All you have to do is exercise a few times a week, choose healthier foods, and try to get eight hours of sleep each night. If you do these things you can say goodbye to freshman fifteen! 12 http:/www.utse.utoronfoica/-undergnd/ © Diversions ‘2 Wednesday, November 6, 2002 Kelly Lisle & Ayshia Degia LLL LLL ae aac ne eee _ http time utse.utoronto.ca/-undergnd/ 13, : The Underground meat o Problem-Solvers ~ Abby gave these people some pretty stupid advice this week. Once again, UPSI has been forced to step in and save these poor saps from themselves. DEAR ABBY: | have a 16-year-old son, “Jordy.” He has a lot of guy friends who occasionally sleep over on weekends, listening to CDs and playing on the computer. They are all good kids. They talk to me and are respectful of the house. A few weeks ago, on a Saturday night at about 11 p.m., Jordy and three other guys were in the driveway playing basketball. A neighbor called the police to complain about the noise. Two offi- cers showed up and spoke to the boys. The kids were quick to apologize. The police never spoke to me -- | was in the house with the door open, but was unaware of the incident. | was angry that a neighbor would call the police before talk- ing to me or the boys first. Eventually, | found out which neighbor made the call; | confronted him. Now he’s put out with me for “making a big deal” out of the fact that the cops were called. Jordy and his friends never meant to cause trouble. They were having fun and got carried away with their laughter. The arrival of the squad car embarrassed them. Frankly, I’m glad | can provide a safe place for them to hang out, so they’re not wandering around town being bored. | wish neighbors would be just that -- neighbors. | thought we were supposed to look out for each other. I’m trying to let this go, but | won’t be satisfied until that neighbor apologizes to Jordy and his friends. Am I right, Abby? -- PITMAN, N.J., MOM DEAR ‘MOM’: I’ve had my share of run-ins with the po-po, and let me tell you, the only reason they would have made a big deal about your bratty kid and his noisy-ass friends is if they had crack on them. Therefore, I suggest searching your son’s room thor- oughly. Rifle through his drawers, look under his mat- tress, and be creative! You might be surprised at what you find. If parents really want to relate to their kids, sometimes a little “research” is necessary. Who knows, you might have a really interesting conversation with “Jordy” about the bondage magazine that you found behind his dresser, or that impossibly large dildo and the har- ness way at the back of his closet. In short, your kid’s business is YOUR business. If your neighbor is complaining that Jordy and his friends are doing meth on your driveway, well, that’s really something you should have known before. Alternately, as my man Dre says, you could roll up on that biatch and bust some shots for being up in yo bid-ness. It’s what I would do. UPS UPSI is Sachin Hingoo and Chris McKinnon (but not Abigail Van Buren) DEAR ABBY: lam a 14-year-old girl who learned something very special last holi- day season. | learned there’s more to Christmas than just getting gifts -- it’s also GIVING gifts. Some families can’t afford to give their kids pres- ents. My family participated in a program through my mom’s work called Adopt-a-Family. Through this program, you receive a piece of paper with the name and address of a needy family. There is also a list of some items that they want or need. We bought gifts for a mother and her two sons who are 6 and 7. Instead of requesting DVD players and computer games, these kids wanted warm clothes and board games. Those little boys wanted things that are practical. The mother also listed items like towels, washcloths, dishes and a toaster. If more families quit thinking about what they want and gave more thought to what others need, they could also help a needy family around Christmastime and other times. If they do, it will make their Christmas a whole lot better! -- WANTING TO HELP IN OREGON DEAR KISS-ASS: BETTER? What fucking planet are you from? Donating gifts to others is not going to help me get that laptop I want for Christmas, now is it? Come closer and listen very carefully to me: PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE THE REST OF US LOOK LIKE ASSHOLES. You have been brainwashed by your parents into think- ing that you don’t really need that DVD player, or those computer games. Now that they’ve bought some crappy gifts for other people, they can go spend the difference of their Christmas money on liquor and cocaine for their New Years Eve party! Don’t you see? It’s a trick, bitch! A TRICK! Ask for expensive gifts, if only to save your par- ents from a life of addiction. Besides, how do you think this makes the “adopted” family feel? Do you really think that they enjoy being so destitute that you and your rich- ass family can come down off your mountain for ONE DAY of the goddamned year to hand them out a game of “SORRY!” and a ratty old sweater? FUCKING WAKE UP. UPSI If you have a problem, some query, quandary, or pickle of any kind, please send it to: make_it_stop@baldandsexy.com (by the way, this is a real address). The Underground Online... it's almost better than porn. _ http: UR NAG IE utsc. utoronto. ca/~undergnd/ tet FOS BOING EN http: www. utsc. utoronto,ca/~under: rand, | : | : : eS ee iS f a # _http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ What's even more fantastic about you coming to glow is that you will be giving money back to yourself. All of the profits from the event will be going towards a new fund that the senior arts management students have created. The Cultural Affairs Student Initiatives Fund will allow all students the oppor- tunity to apply for financial support that may be used for artistic and cultural projects. Eligible projects that may be funded include literary events, theatre, dance, visual art, film or any other project that adds to the artistic and cultural atmo- sphere at UTSC. Even if you're not in an arts programme, by next year you will have your chance to apply for money that will support your artistic need to create! The Cultural Affairs Student Initiatives Fund will be overseen by a commit- tee that will include Leah Takata, The Cultural Affairs Coordinator for UTSC. The idea of having a fund to enhance the cultural life on campus and finance the creativity of students is supported by many people. SAC was very excited to make glow: [sub] urban night lights a showcase for cultural diversity in its Expressions Against Oppression activi- ties. The senior seminar class in arts management is also thankful for the generous support they have received from the Scarborough Campus Students’ Union and the Council on Student Services. Principal Paul Thompson has generously agreed to match every dollar raised for the fund, dollar for dollar, up to $5000. The arts management students are also thankful to the students, faculty and staff of UTSC who have already supported the Cultural Affairs Student characters that provided little more then eye-candy and meaningless statistics. Dreamwave however, working closely with Destination Entertainment, plan to make their series of upcoming Profile Books more than just a series of charac- ter bios, but a broad history of the entire Transformers continuity for their future projects to be based upon. And with no official background ever written for the Transformers universe, this series of expansive bios and explanatory history may become the authoritative source of the series’ roots. As for Dreamwave, according to Derek, the small studio isn’t interested in staying small much longer. They plan to use comics as a foundation for a number of other media they plan to tap into. Perhaps in the future we'll hear more about Dreamwave on the big or small screen, or perhaps producing their own action-figures. It may seem odd to some people that there be such a sudden spike in interest in old cartoon series from our childhood. | asked Derek what he attrib- uted the recent revival of popularity of 80's franchises to. “Basically everyone who grew up watching these shows is reaching an age where they have a dis- posable income and nothing to spend it on,” he replied. He went on to say that it happens in every decade and that he wouldn't be surprised to see a return of interest in the 90’s in five years. A scary thought indeed. Of course, the most important ques- tion of all had to be which Transformer is Derek’s favorite. No surprise there. The answer was a resoiute, “Soundwave”. Clearly, you can tell when a man knows his Transformers. Initiatives Fund. On Halloween the class and volunteers dressed in costumes and sold bags of candy for a toonie in the Meeting Place. This fundraising event, Trick or Toonie, raised over $500. Advanced tickets for glow: [sub] urban night lights are $10 each and now on sale in the Meeting Place. A limited number of tickets will be available at the door on the night of November 22 for $12 each. Glow: [sub] urban night lights is a celebration of all art forms and is a way for the senior class in arts management to express their gratitude for the artistic and cultural activities they have enjoyed throughout their years at UTSC. So don’t stress out about exams, come to the Meeting Place on November 22™ and let yourself glow! rYY ~Y+revr vvyvery — 2 antl ane ay The Underground The Women's Centre exposed... More Visible Than Ever... | would have to say that this year has been a year of unprecedented visibility for the UTSC Women’s Centre. This is my fourth year at this school; | have been involved in student govern- ment, the arts, and the rest of the extra-curricular student life. And so | feel qualified in my knowl- edge of “what's going on” around this campus, and | feel justified when | say that the Women’s Centre is more visible than ever. This year, I’ve seen them run a logo contest and participate (though to what degree, | must admit | am unsure) in Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October. This month the Centre is poised to get involved in the White Ribbon Campaign, to raise awareness about violence against women. Now before | get going, let me just say that the Women’s Centre’s organizers and volunteers deserve an “E” for effort... And well, that’s about it. It isn’t that a logo contest is a bad idea... On the contrary, it is a great way to get students involved in a Women’s Centre that has been all but non- existent in campus life for years. But why was that the only project the Centre organized in the crucial first month of the school year? Any “stu- dent leader” worth his or her weight in salt knows that September is the most important time of the year for ori-campus student groups and societies, because that’s when you get a crack at all the new frosh, those gullible fresh-faced keeners straight off the high school honour-roll. In September, you can hold those kids in the palm of you hand. By now, they’re so bogged down with mid-terms and assignments that you’re lucky to eek a “hello” out them in the halls. So where was the educational programming, the outreach campaigns and the pork eee Sd After four years at UTSC, Chris McKinnon finally finds out what the Women's Centre is all about cating UTSC about real-life issues like Date Rape, Sexual Harassment, Eating Disorders, wometa Rights and campus safety concerns? During one © of the most crucial times of the year, the UTSC” : Women’s Centre was nearly invisible. The Logo { Contest posters were small and largely incon- — spicuous; An opportunity for the Centre to recruit — and educate new UTSC students was missed. — In response to this, the Centre’s Coordinator, Kinzi, said that they were able to recruit 30 new © volunteers in September, though at this point, in — early November, only 15 people or so are actively involved at the Women’s Centre. p With respect to the Centre’s foray into Breast — Cancer Awareness Month in October, | can't ss knock their good intentions, but what | do have to £ question is their commitment. It is entirely unclear why the Women’s Centre’s participation in a edu- — cation and awareness campaign with such signifi- — cant infrastructure (think Run For The Cure, CIBC, etc) would appear to have been put together by - the kids from N’Sheemaehn. Come on people! — Banners made with crayola markers? No visible — use of rulers or straight edges to keep your text level? That sort of half-baked effort smacks of insensitivity; Ask a Marketing student, the quality — of your advertising is important. Considering that — those banners were going to be hanging there for — a whole month would it really have been out of the budget to spend a couple hundred dollars at Kinko's to produce some real banners with a pro- fessional look? Awareness was raised, no doubt, but not about breast cancer. | understand that the Centre is now proposing > advocacy? Why isn’t our Women’s Centre edu- , } i http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~underg re 1 . | Wednesday, November 13, 2002 to get involved with the White Ribbon Campaign, an education, awareness and fundraising cam- paign organized and conducted by men to speak out against men who commit violence against | women. The whole premise of the campaign is designed to change men’s attitudes towards vio- | lence against women, through education and action by men. And it has been effective. Alarge | part of the efficacy is due to the peer pressure that | is created and while the Women’s Centre’s sup- | port of the initiative is well-intentioned, their direct | participation will, to a degree, undermine one of the campaign’s greatest strengths. What's more, _ when | spoke about the campaign with one of the | } ( | i | i if | | exclaimed: ting new pamphlets... taking its toll. But then again, it isn’t as though pam- ‘| phlets from the mid-90’s go out-of-date overnight. _ Centre’s assistant coordinators, she was entirely | unaware that the White Ribbon Campaign has traditionally been organized by men. Later, when had a chance to sit down with Kinzi, she first said _ that the Centre would be participating in the White _ Ribbon Campaign, but later clarified that Women’s | Centre was really just going to “support the White » Ribbon Campaign.” These Pamphlets Are Old (Circa 1993) When | told a friend that | was working on this article, she mentioned that she’d picked up |a pamphlet with information on breast cancer | at the Women’s Centre a few weeks back and she had been dismayed to find the information out-dated. | found that to be a rather odd state- ment given the Centre’s recent participation in an _ awareness campaign dedicated to the educating | people about this disease, so | set out to do some research. The pamphlet in question was indeed | out-dated, printed in 1993. The medical advances in the treatment and diagnosis of breast cancer have been huge in the past nine years... The } pamphlets at the Women’s Centre have failed to _ keep up. During my first visit to the Women’s Centre _| picked up some 20 pamphlets at random. Of those (20) nearly half (9) had a year of publication on them. All nine were printed in 1996 or before. As | turned over a pamphlet that was distrib- uted in 1996 by the AIDS Committee of Toronto, “1996!” The volunteer present shrugged and interjected: “We're working on get- ” Hell week, it seems, was Ordering new educational materials is something | that should be accomplished regularly, at least on a yearly or semi-annual basis. It could easily be a | task that is conducted during the summer months, when classes aren’t in full swing. The Way Things Work The UTSC Women’s Centre, operates in non- hierarchical fashion. The Centre is administered by a collective: “a group of women acting together to organise and maintain the Centre.” The UTSC Women’s Centre receives funding by way of a student levy, collected on their behalf ‘by the St. George Campus Women’s Centre. When | asked, Kinzi declined to let me in on the size of her Centre’s operating budget, but did state that it is “very small.” The 15 or so volunteers and coordinators meet regularly to discuss plans, upcoming events and e Bee orcs of relevant | issues and they seem p think that’s other issues affecting the Centre. Events are planned on a month to month basis. Last week, when | asked about seeing an events calendar or a list of projects on the go, | received blank looks from the two volunteers in the room. “We don’t really work like that,” | was told. “We’re all so busy, you know. It’s hard to schedule things. We usually just work on stuff as we go along.” “Wouldn't a little bit of advance planning make it easier to manage your time if you're really busy?” | ask. “In theory...” | was told. Indeed. At last check, the Whte Ribbon Campaign was on the table, and there were some vague plans for a drop-in stress- relief chat, possibly with yoga involved. “So what do you do here then?” | ask finally, because my research was resulting in only more confusion. “Well, mostly we act as a referral service... If someone needs counselling we can refer them to the Health and Wellness Centre, or other off- campus services.” “What other sorts of services might you refer people to?” | ask. The volunteer motions to a binder on a table in the corner. “The binder has everything in it. Whatever people need... Names, phone numbers, services we can refer them to.” “The Women’s Centre is supposed to be a resource for LGBTQ students...” “Of course! We don’t discriminate.” “What sorts of services might you refer queer students to?” “That depends on what they need.” the Binder. Oh... | decide to try changing tack and ask what sorts of training the Women’s Centre volunteers receive. Again, | receive blank looks. “Anti- oppression, anti-racism, mediation, facilitation, Looks at crisis intervention?” | suggested. Shakes head. “Don’t you think that sort of training might be helpful?” | asked. The consensus between the two volunteers appeared to be that such training is irrelevant to the referral service they offer. Racism, sexism, homophobia, equity issues... Not problems at UTSC; At least not in the Women’s Centre. “What about an anti-homophobia workshop? Did you do that?” | asked. | was getting desper- ate. Could the Women’s Centre really employ a “sink or swim” training programme for its volun- teers? “Why would we need that?” heart sank. “Is there any training provided to volunteers at all?” “Oh, yes. We bring them in and show them around,” Hand sweeps through small office. “And we show them how to find things in the binder.” Ah, the Binder. In my discussion with Kinzi this week, she elaborated on the training new volunteers receive. It involves a 15-30 minute orientation on the Centre, information gathering tips, guiding students through the resources at the Centre’s disposal, and a dash of sensitivity training. That seems like a lot to cover in under a half hour. | left the Women’s Centre with a queasy feel- ing and an invitation to attend the next Executive Meeting, so that | could learn more about the Centre. The prospect of learning more about what goes on there scared the hell out of me. Luckily, a family emergency prevented me from attending that meeting. No doubt if | had, this article would have been twice as long, and perhaps a good deal angrier. And my queer -http://www.utsc.utoronto. coxaunmerund ie PPR ew a oe 1 The Underground UTSC STUDENT CRIME STOPPERS NEEDS YOUR HELP University of Toronto at Scarborough Student Crime Stoppers and the University of Toronto Police are asking for the community’s assistance in identifying four theft suspects. Theft from UTSC Arcade Video Machine - Caught on Tape at 1:38 p.m. Monday, November 4th, 2002 At 1:35 p.m. Monday, November 4th, 2002 four male youths entered the 2nd Level Bladen Wing Arcade near the Library entrance. The arcade was open for business at the time. The suspects proceeded to scope out the room and ensure that there were no witnesses nearby. The 1st and 2nd suspects pretended to play video games while watching for witnesses, while suspect #3 and suspect #4 moved a video game called ‘Bust-A-Move’ away from doorway view. The 4th suspect male stood in front of the 3rd suspect while he pried the machine open and removed the motherboard (operating system). The males then departed the arcade separately. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Dear Arcade Theft Suspects, So jet me get this straight. SCSU finally renovates the arcade, giving us something worthwhile to do during those four-hour breaks between classes, and you four nutfucks have to go and screw it all up. You break in, the day before the grand opening of the arcade and steal, not money, but the MOTHERBOARD for my beloved “Bust-A-Mave’. What are you going to do with that, except ensure that no one at UTSC ever bothers to invest in mind-numbing recreational activities for us again? It's people like you who give thievery a bad name. | have a friend who greatly enjoys shoplifting. She's seri- ously got it down to an ari. Walk into Sporting Life, take off your grubby shoes, ask to try on a new pair of the same shoes, then put your crappy ones in the box and off you go. So much easier than washing your sneakers, huh? This kind of theft is okay by me. Sporting Life is a huge company that includes a certain amount of lost merchandise in their budget. Trust me, they can afford a pair of sneakers. On the other hand, in the four years I’ve been at this school, November 5 marked the first time the SCSU has ever changed the games in that damn arcade. its clearly not in their budget to update to the newest Street Fighter game each year, and no one expects them to. (There's a Student Centre to pay for!) In any case, this is why it’s kind of nice to see the arcade with some new games for once. However with people like you, why would the student union even bother? Why go to the expense of putting in new games when senseless morons have the unmitigated gall to “bust a move” and steal a fucking motherboard in broad daylight? You make me ill, my friends. A tip for the police, iook for four guys sitting in their living room and getting high off glue while staring at the chip and wandering why you can't just duct 2pe it to the Gamecube. So, for anyone reading this, if you ‘would, take a look at the grainy Winona Ryder-esque security camera pics in this issue, and if you know or have seen these individuals, | encourage you to bring them to justice. Oratieastto Campus Police. __ As a postscript, | must admit that | think it's pretty cool that at UTSC, even our thieves are ethnically diverse. Someone might have said “you can judge a society by its criminals”, but | don’t know who. If you oe well, Maks nice. ee good looking STOP SOME } CALL 222-T1P Sachin Hin 12 Suspect #1 Suspect #2 Suspect #1 - Male, white, light hair, clean shaven, medium build, approx. 20 yrs. old., wearing a dark ball cap with white letters on the front, multi-layered dark and light shirts and a dark backpack. He entered the Arcade first and served as a lookout by the entrance. Suspect #2 - Male, brown skin, possibly Indian descent, 5’9”, approximately 20 yrs., light build, dark wavy hair, clean shaven, wearing a light coloured jacket with lighter sleeves, light pants, and a dark backpack. He entered the Arcade second and served as a shield (from passing pedestrian traf- fic) to the theft. Suspect #3 - Male, brown skin, possibly Indian descent, 6’0”, approx. 23 yrs, heavier build (210 Ibs.), wearing a black toque with light insignia on the front, grey sweater with hori- zontal stripe 8 inch horizontal stripe across chest, dark pants and a black leather jacket. He inspected the entrance camera several times, likely believing it to he phony. He also broke into the video game and removed tiie motherboard. Suspect #4 - Male, possible Asian descent, 5’5”, 150 Ibs. clean shaven, light build, approx. 20 yrs., wearing a light ball cap, white down-filled winter coat and dark pants. If you recognize any of these males please notify UTSC Police immediately at 416-287-7398. Photos of the suspects are available for viewing in the UTSC Police office and in the Police Services wall displays located outside the police office, by the main entrance to the H-Wing cafeteria and by Tim Horton's. If you wish to remain anonymous, you can call Student Crime Stoppers at 416-222-TIPS. Crime Stoppers will pay a cash reward for any information that will lead to an arrest or successful conclusion of this incident. Callers never have to give their name or testify in court and they do not use call display. Remember, Crime Stoppers is interested in what you know, not who you are. ere Arts / Life Wednesday, November 13, 2002 80’s Sitcom Stars - Where Are They Now? Christian Lucier finds out what happened to Webster, Mr. Belvedere and Alf... Remember the good old days of nighttime televi- sion, when acid-washed jeans were the bomb and mul- lets came in geri-curl? That's right readers, | am talking about 80’s sitcoms. Some of the most memorable sitcom characters were created in the 1980's. This is mostly because the majority of 80's sitcom characters were strikingly bizarre and unique. To watch a popular sitcom today is to see five or six regular-Joes sitting in an apartment, bitching about daily life, and boring the hell out of us, the viewers. However, the 80’s were a different time, a time when television stars had finesse and charisma - stars like Webster, Mr. Belvedere, and Alf, just to name a few. Yet, these lovable characters are no longer with us today. They had their fun in the sun, and faded away ages ago, lost forever in the dusty records of post- primetime television. Well damn it, that just wasn’t good enough for me. | wanted to know what happened to these characters when they left the tube, so | did some research to see what | could find. Webster (Emmanuel Lewis) did all right for himself. At the age of thirty-one, Lewis has obtained a theatre arts degree from the Clark Atlanta University, a black belt in tae kwon doe and karate, and owns his own record label. Lewis still dabbles in showbiz now and then. His most recent project is an appearance in the upcoming David Spade film, Dickie Roberts: Former Childhood Star. |n the film, Lewis is supposed to have a celebrity-boxing match with Spade. At least the little guy is still working. Mr. Belvedere’s (Christopher Hewett) lot in life was very different. Hewett passed away happily at the age of eighty on August 3°, 2001, as a result of natural ail- ments. After Mr. Belvedere, Hewett went on to play small roles in series such as Murder She Wrote and California Dreaming. Remaining in television was not exactly Hewitt’s intention, nonetheless he went on to enjoy life by visiting family and friends. Mr. Belvedere will be missed. The creator of Alf (Alien Life Form), Paul Fusco con- tinues trying to keep the Alf character alive. In 1996, a television movie was created called Project: Alf, which cleared up some of the loose ends left in the final epi- sode of the series. Project: Alf received terrible reviews and was not at all popular with the viewing public. There are reports that discussions have been had about creat- ing an Alf talk show, but | wouldn't count the days until its debut. In the meantime, Alf can be seen in his own 1-800-COLLECT commercial. Someone should tell this guy to throw in the towel. There we have it, the outcomes of three of the 80’s most influential sitcom characters. It was sad in a way to dig this information up. To see how these actors/ creations moved on after the greatest success of their lives was sort of a shock. They were certainly not how | remembered them, and after finding all this information, my perceptions of them will never be the same. | kind of wish | hadn't dug up them up in the first place. Satan's Bakesale Andrew Epstein, “The Lord of Darkness” I'd like to think I’m a committed person. When it comes down to it | suppose | am, though there are complications. The day before this column arrives on newsstands, my girlfriend and | will have reached the one-and-a-half year mark in our relationship. A scant nine months ago | would have thought that impossible. And not for the reasons you might think. I’m not pre- pared to give you some sort of diatribe about the merits of polygamy; There are as many pitfalls there as there are in monogamous relationships. But | will say that | never expected it to happen to me. But time passed and now | realize that I’ve been with the same person for the last 78 weeks. 78 weeks?!? Holy shit, when did that happen? Was | on the toilet the whole time, was | stoned, or perhaps kidnapped? Don’t get me wrong, | remember it all, but | don’t remember how it passed so quickly. It has though, been quite a lot of fun. To spare my own head, I'll pass on re-telling the details of our incred- ible sexual life (it would just make yours seem inad- equate by comparison,) but | will say that through her | have been enlightened, both mentally and physically. We've shared some great experiences together, by exploring new places, and trying things we never would have tried alone. So with all that you’d think that I’d be satisfied, wouldn’t you? Most of the time, especially when I’m with her, | want nothing except to bask in the moments that we share together. But a few months ago something began to rear its ugly head. It is my foe, my lover, and the keeper of my darkest desires and secrets. This, my friends, was my dreaded libido. Please don’t misunderstand, | feel that to repress one’s desires is a sure path to self-destruction. Without gratifying these desires, you'll become more repressed and inward turning. And now that my hormones have returned with a vengeance and I'm finding myself interested in others a lot more than | used to be. | explored the possible causes for this: 1) Boredom. No way could this be it. No matter where my life is at any time, with her or otherwise, it is never boring. 2) I've become accustomed to her and therefore find her less interesting. This again, makes no sense to me. | find her just as interesting as | ever did, and activities in all rooms go on undaunted by the passage of time. Unfortunately, this leads me to conclude that the problem lies in number 3) myself. | am the problem, because they're my hormones, it's my mind, and my wandering eye. What used to be harmless gazing has now become lusting and yearning. Some people have offered me the advice that it's “only natural” for a man to feel this way. It’s his natural imper- ative to go on and on and on. But there’s something about this idea that makes me shudder just slightly. It’s that sense of the inflated male ego and outlandish bra- vado, that I’ve tried so hard to steer away from for the past few years. But then why does it keep going on? The question that remained with me was what course of action | wanted to take with this? Repressing my desires is wrong so | should just give in right? If | want something, then it will in turn make me happy. However, even as I'm writing those words | know they are full of shit. Humans may instinctively seek out sex, but they also seek out company. Left without a com- panion at the end of life, one is bound to be lonely and sullen. As much as we humans have a desire of the flesh, despite what most people (namely men) will claim, we also have a desire of the heart. The heart, of course, will last much longer than the flesh. When you're too old to even move, let alone fuck anyone, you'll be much happier knowing that the person next to you is still committed to you, despite everything. | know all this. These are facts to me, pure and real facts that cannot be denied. But then why do | come back to the yoke of these regurgitated desires? Is it because | am male? No, it’s because | am the person that I’ve let myself become. Many of us desire things that we damn well know will cause our own downfall. | smoked cigarettes for six years and all | got were a stunted growth spurt and some phlegm. To quote a certain king of all media: “Should | trade half my life for twice as much sex?” Sometimes I’ve come too close to realizing those forbidden desires, because they are not forbidden unless | want them to be. Perhaps it’s my own insecurity or weak will, but it’s my responsibility to do right by her. Her: The one who has stuck by me, and who has made me a better person. | must stay true for her. She has made her sacrifice, and so | will make mine. Farewell life of frivolity - | enter the life of a man in love. Bear in mind | don't intend this to come off as some sort of sermon from the mound about the benefits of commitment (even though most of you probably need to be committed in another sense). This is what's best for me, and it might not be for you. But take this piece as warning or even just a heads up. If | can lead myself down the wrong path without even knowing it, then so can you. a 13 sandr lA haanknalss etna The Underground Diversions by : Kelly Lisle [ & Ayshia Degia exam and term paper time, and what better way to waste ] than y sending a letter home to a stanly member (we iy U: Simply fill in the blanks with relevant details regarding other relat 2S, P etc, throw a snp on ue and your re ‘inthe good books just in time season. - Dear How are you? | hope you are well. | am . lamhaving a time at school this year. My favourite class is . We get to . It’s hard to believe that in only years | will have my degree and this will all be over. (Insert witty com- ment about how long you’ve been in school here) How is ? | hope . All that great food you cook must have done it. | cook an awful lot of while | am here. think(s) | am crazy. Somehow | survive... Exams are coming up. | have .Itis of studying. Once all of that is done, | should be home cal am looking forward to it, and especially to once | get there. | was talking to last week and it reminded me of that time last summer when That was f Well, | just thought | would drop you a line, to let you know I’m thinking of you. | you very much. | can’t wait to Love, (Your name here) OFFICE OF THE UNWERSEY : OMBUDS PERSON Confidential advice and assistance with complaints unresolved through r to U of T students, faculty and administrative staff. The Or usseaL : Events Wednesday, November 13, 2002 ae The following is a listing of events information sites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know A event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by Bing an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Nov. 14 OPEN DOOR Festival of Music BENEFIT The Opera House (735 Queen Street East Doors open at 7:30 p.m. Music at 8 p.m. sharp! Tickets are $22 at the door or $20 in advance and can be purchased at CD Replay (523 Bloor W.)/Soundscapes (572 College W.)/Rotate This (620 Queen W.). Nov. 15 Searching for Adonis. A staged reading of UTSC student Garth Jensen's original creation. 7:30pm Leigha Lee Browne Theatre Nov. 15 Public Lecture “The Saunders Portrait: Why Does it Matter?” Speaker: Alexander Leggatt. Isabel Bader Theatre, 93 Charles S. W. 5:00 p.m. Nov. 15 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. He Liu [The River]. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 15 Ronna Bloom Reading (H310), 11 am Nov. 18 The Aboriginal Studies Distinguished Lecture Series, feat. Marie Campbell. West Hall of University College, 15 King’s College Circle. 7:00 p.m Nov. 18 “Gender and Race in Writing” feat. Shani Mootoo, the author of the award-wining Cereus Blooms at Night in discussion with Jean Noble and Trish Salah. University College room 179. 15 King’s College Circle. 7:30 p.m Nov. 20 Ballet Creole. Afro-Caribbean Drum and Dance Ensemble, performs in the Meeting Place. 7:30 pm. Limited seating, reserve by calling 416-287- 7007. PWYC Admission. Wanna be a writer? /.utsc, utoronto.ca/~undergnd/_ Nov. 20 Toronto Women's Bookstore and Sumach Press present: BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD: AFRICAN CANADIAN FEMINISMS Edited by Njoke Nathani Wane, Katerina Deliovsky and Erica Lawson 7pm Toronto Women’s Bookstore 73 Harbord Street (at Spadina) FREE event Nov. 20 There will be an anti- homophobia workshop happening on Wednesday November 20th, 2-4pm in the council chambers (4th Floor S-wing)... please come out and support! Nov. 22 Glow... (sub)urban night lights. Music, dancing, funky performance art, video streaming and body painting. Presented by AMSS 9pm Meeting Place All-ages/wristband. $10 advance/ $15 door Nov. 22 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Hsi Yen [The Wedding Banquet] Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 25 The University Professor Lecture Series, feat. Martin Friedland. “Reflections: A History of the University of Toronto” Location: Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park. 7:00 p.m Nov. 27 Victoria Women’s Association presents “The New Program for First Year Students” Speaker: Dr. David Cook, Principal, Victoria College. Alumni Hall, 2:00 p.m. Nov. 27 to Dec. 1 REEL ASIAN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. See website for more details. http://www.reelasian.com/ Nov. 27 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 27 UTSC Band Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 12 noon: FREE Nov. 28 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 UTSC Choirs Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 7 pm: FREE Nov. 29 Join TWB as we celebrate the 20th anniversary of the ground- breaking book “This Bridge Called My Back”, with a new collection titled “This Bridge We Call Home” (Routlege). 9pm Steelworker’s Hall - 33 Cecil Street Tix: $8-12 (sliding scale) - on sale Thursday November 7th Nov. 30 EarthTONES 2002. Live Music feat. Faculty of Medicine’s finest musicians. Proceeds to children’s healthcare initiatives world-wide. $12 - 7pm @ Convocation Hall Info/tickets call 416-978-2684 earthtones2002@hotmail.com Nov. 30 End of Term Party This event will celebrate the affiliation of the Toronto Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies with the Sexual Diversity Studies Program and the launch of several scholarships for Sexual Diversity Studies Students. Come and meet other faculty and students who are associated with the program. 5:00p.m.-8:30p.m. University College Room 240 Dec. 6. Friday Workshop Series, feat. Mark Crane, “The Use of bonae literae your event could be here! send events listings to undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca in Sixteenth-Century France”. Northrop Frye Hall. 73 Queen's Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m. Dec. 6 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE. Meet Me in St. Louis. Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Dec. 7. Graduates’ Christmas Luncheon with Jane Pepino, “Reflections from a Froshie at Mid-Life: What | wish I'd known in 1965”, tickets: $15, please contact the Alumni Office to register (416-585-4500), 12:00 p.m Dec. 9 Public Lecture: SCREWING THE SYSTEM: MASCULINITIES, MONEY & FETISHISM by Professor Anne McClintock. Great Hall, Hart House. 7 Hart House Circle, 7:00p.m. Free. Info: (416) 922-8744 Dec. 13 “Christmas Around The World” feat. Peter Karrie w/ Richard Birney Smith and Laura Pin $30 - call 905-627-0757 Ryerson United Church, Hamilton Dec. 20 “Christmas Around The World” feat. Peter Karrie w/ Richard Birney Smith and Laura Pin $30 - call 905-627-0757 St. James Church, Cambridge Dec. 21 “Christmas Around The World” feat. Peter Karrie w/ Richard Birney Smith and Laura Pin $30 - call 905-627-0757 Appleton United Church, Burlington New Year's & spring Break 20,000 students partied with us f year! Montreal om $229 Quebec City tom $229 Daytona Beach 5... $199 Panama City Beach jon $299 Acapulco rom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: Selo ixoh Vreulscrgntus a. Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max occupancy, Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking. The Underground Understanding Homophobia and Heterosexism Prejudice against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people continues to be widespread in Canadian society, even as public opinion has shifted towards increasing opposition to discrimination based on sexual orientation. Definitions and Meanings Homophobia is a term that was coined by psychologist George Weinberg in the 1960s, to describe “heterosexuals’ dread of being in close quarters with homosexuals as well as homosexuals’ self loathing”. Since then, homophobia has come to mean “an aversion to gay or homosexual people or their lifestyle or culture” and “behavior or an act based on this aversion.” Other definitions identify homophobia as an irrational fear of homosexuality. Around the same time, heterosexism began to be used as a term analogous to sexism and racism, describing an ideological system that denies, denigrates, and stigmatizes any non-heterosexual form of behavior, identity, relationship, or community. Using the term heterosexism highlights the parallels between anti-LGBTQ sentiment and other forms of prejudice, such as racism, antisemitism, and sexism. Like institutional racism and sexism, heterosexism pervades societal customs and institutions. It operates through a dual process of invisibility and attack. Homosexuality usually remains culturally invisible; when people who engage in homosexual behavior or who are identified as homosexual become visible, they are subject to attack by society. A Dozen Tips To Combat Homophobia and Heterosexism 1. Educate yourself! LGBTQ persons can get very tired of having to educate others (and sometimes even need more education themselves...) Take responsibility for your attitudes and search out factual information about queer issues and sexual diversity. A great place to start is on the Student Affairs LGBTQ Resources & Programs website at: http /www.sa.utoronto,ca/ area.php?waid=4 2. Attend an anti-homophobia workshop (There’s one at UTSC on Wednesday, November 20" from 2-4pm in S-403, Council Chambers.) 3. Don’t assume that everyone is heterosexual. 4. Refuse to tolerate homophobic jokes or comments. 5. Challenge someone if s/ne makes an offensive remark, and counter it with factual information. 6. Report incidents of hate-crime or hate-graffiti to the UTSC Police, or use the online hate-crime reporting form at G AZ. . lf someone comes out to you, it . Don't “out” people. It is a betrayal Se rial. Seg Don’t be fooled by stereotypes. Realize that LGBTQ people look just like everyone else... Lesbians can wear skirts and make-up. Gay men don't always wear nice shoes. And LGBTQ people come in all shapes, sizes and colours too! Encourage ambiguity. If you identify as straight and people jump to the conclusion that you are queer for whatever reason, resist your impulse to deny it. Immediate denial can contribute to the belief that identifying as queer is undesirable. Change your own use of language to be inclusive and as gender- neutral as possible. Heterosexism is promoted and maintained powerfully through language. means s/he trusts you. Respect their courage and set aside any discomfort you may feel. - } of their trust, and can put people in serious emotional and physical danger or make them subject to discrimination. Learn about the Positive Space Campaign at UTSC, and help out! By working together we can | make this campus a welcoming “J | environment for people os all soxalg s orientations.. http://www. Ee Wednesday, November 20, 2002 Lat? ' bibs hy Needs You! SCSP (Scarborough Campus Student Press) is currently looking for new members for it’s Board of Directors. Anyone who is interested should con- tact the Underground for further details. phone: 416.287.7054 fax: 416.287.7055 email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca There will be a general meeting of the scarborough Campus Students’ Press on November 27th, at 8:00 p.m. in Rm $-364. If you're interested in taking on one of the positions listed above, please plan to attend. SCSP is currently looking for people to fill the following positions: 2 Full-time student members 1 Part-time student member 1 member of the faculty, staff, or alumni of UTSC Anyone who is interested in starting up another publication under SCSP may also apply the 2003 Awards of IEXCELLENCE| WIN T VeEIReS sl Tevie OES OeRROAN i © The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student life on campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE Jus MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca ee | ' The Underground Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager News Editors Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Christian Lucier Graphics Editor Greg Brown On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Advertising Manager Susie Lopes Accounting Manager Michelle Ng Accounting Assistants Juliana Lam Millie Ng Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, | Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo | Contributors: | Cpl. Chris Moy, UTSC Police, Elena Bird, Robert | Chung, Nadine James, Erin Howe, Matt Capper, pounéen Philosopher An Other. Letters and Opinions Policy | At The Underground we iove unsolicited material, | especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such _ material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or Jess and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board Tteserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial contro! of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions licy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Undergroundis published by the Scarborough Sampus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. tis funded by way of a direct levy to students of University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, d through local and national advertising. [he Underground is a member of Canadian Iniversity Press (CUP). \ ¥ Wednesday, November 20, 200 Barbie makes little girls neurotic... Why doesn’t G. |. Joe do the same fo little boys? Act One Seen Too... heres's that review, finallly Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters p.4 Comments p.5 Events Listings p.19 Opinions p.6 The News in Brief... p.7 Police still looking for two suspects p.8 Arts Creative writing on campus p.9 Reviews Act One Seen Too p.12 Rendez-vous With Madness Pp. | 2 Act One Seen Too p.12 Contacting the Underground Staff Life Instant Messaging destroys the Art of Conversation p. 1 8 Columns Frog in My Throat p.6 Satan's Bakesale p.15 Diversions p.20 Weekly Haiku p.9 Comics p.17 For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergrid/ 2 ‘The Underground Disappearing Act: We never talk anymore... Last week, The Underground flew out of the racks. Maybe it was my cynicism, or maybe it was a sign of how well | know Scarborough, but | knew something was up. As The Underground staff are more than happy to point out, the majority of UTSC students don't read this paper. Some would go further still and argue that it isn’t clear that many UTSC students can read at all... Regardless of this, and as much as | wanted to think that last week marked a change at this campus, | knew it couldn't be so. Some rummaging through recycling bins on Friday confirmed my suspicions: | found nearly 100 copies of the newspaper dumped in the trash. Now, a word to The Underground's saboteurs: Madames et monsieurs... Should you be contemplating such subversive measures in the future, you should not underestimate this editor’s willingness to rifle through refuse in broad daylight, in the Meeting Place, with other horrified students looking on. If you’re going to do away with a week’s worth of issues, for spite, or to prevent the student body from reading an article that portrays your organisation in an unflattering (though accurate) light, take them further than the nearest recycling bin. | cannot and | will not say “Don't do it again!” because two years ago, when The Underground was commanded by the poet-laureate, Nadia the Terrible, | too saw fit to wage a guerrilla war against this paper. | once stole 400 copies of the paper, “censored” them by randomly blacking-out words or phrases with my Sharpie and replaced them on the racks. | hoped that other students would see this as a critique of the content of the newspaper, namely that the quality of the paper seemed entirely unaffected by the obscured content. | don’t think | succeeded, but that isn’t my point. There is an art to this, my dears. There is an art of dissent. This business of simply throwing newspapers away, well, it’s decidedly pedestrian, it is very much not sophisticated. We welcome dissent at The Underground, whether in a /etter to the editor (please don’t forget to spell-check!) Or an opinion-piece, or even in the form of media-jamming. But throwing hundreds of papers away? That's just plebeian. What we need at this campus is some real discussion. And it’s coming slowly... one culturally diverse step at a time. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief Hate our guts? Wish we were dead? Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: or email undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca with “Opinion’ or “Letter to the Editor” in the subject line. | She's not being facetious... Dear Editor, | would like to heartily congratulate you on your brilliant flash of inspiration of last week. I’m referring, of course, to putting the editor's pet article in a font that was one whole point larger than the rest of the paper. This was partially a survival tactic since it came right after the Player’s Light two-page centerfold ad, and it had to get people’s attention somehow. But what better way to say “fuck you” to the Women’s Centre and the rest of your cracker staff while at the same time benefiting those who wear prescription glasses. Don’t even try to claim that this was a mistake. You’re so clever you media- jam your own paper. Love, Sarah Barmak Editor-in-chief The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room $364 Scarborough, ON MIC 1A4 yd (By the way, we're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) | “Never fight an inanimate object. -P. J. O'Rourke http://www:utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergne Comments Wednesday, November 20, 2002 Frog In My Throa Merika I. Ramundo | love to write. Whether it is writing a grant proposal to the Ontario Arts Council or penning a poem while on the toilet bowl, | have a long- ing to express what | feel through the power of my words. | have even set up a makeshift poetry Station in front of my room with a steel board and word magnets to encourage my housemates and guests to start writing. This is how strongly | feel about the experience of art and creative thought. So it’s no wonder then, that | hate the feeling | get when | experience bad art. It’s like this sinking feeling that weighs into my body. It gets me frus- trated, angry even... to the point where | want to tell everyone and everything (including my frogs) how utterly pathetic and cruel the world must be for shelling out the dough to create such garbage. If you haven't already guessed, the past couple of weeks have been particularly depressing for me. The only thing about bad art that is good is that it inspires me to create better art. Of course it’s all subjective, you might say. You might question who | am; just some columnist (for a Scarborough paper, no less) claiming that something is pure drivel when the person next to her might think it’s the next best thing to Picasso? All | know is that art should touch whoever inter- acts with it and by “touch” | mean that art should instigate a profound, heightened sense of aware- ness. It should attempt to explore the essence of something transcendent and utterly impossible to describe like beauty or truth. It should be playful or serious, depending on the context. It should keep its audience in mind. It should create a relationship, a friendship even, where emotions and connections are made through a continuous discourse, verbal or not, conscious or not. Interestingly enough, | went into the Elgin Theatre a couple of weeks back thinking that the musical | was about to see, entitled Contact, was going to provide me with just that. “Wow’”, | thought. “Ashow about the physical, emotional, psycholog- ical contact that we, as humans, all seem to crave from others...... this is going to be more than just - a song and dance number...... this is going to be an experience.” Unfortunately, this 2000 winner of the Tony Award for Best Musical was the worst piece of “theatre” known to humankind and | use the term “theatre” very loosely. Contact could be described as a pseudo-musical-dance piece with almost no script and get this — recorded music. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the new era of the musical — the disappearance of live music and song, a very weak storyline and dance that tries its darndest to match up with Fred and Ginger but falls short — in a big, fat, huge, ugly way. Contact's creator Susan Stroman has been hailed by some critics as an innovator, an avant- gardist who has brought a new kind of look to About the Cover the musical. | don’t buy it. If you want to move someone with art or want to explore the concept of “contact” with an audience in a creative way you have to reach the five senses. You have to some- how create something that is alive with meaning, something that will strike home with your audi- ence. Contact did not reach me at all. It did not want to make me sing in the rain or feel the sun beaming against my face. All it made me want to do was to find a way to reach out to people in a better way. | want to connect with you. | realize that | already communicate with you when you read my commentary but | want to do more. Hell, we spend too much time walking aim- lessly from one destination to another without as much as a glance towards the people that sur- round us. So | propose this: | am going to give you, Underground readers, the chance to meet and hug me in the hope that | may do the same. If anyone has every seen the music video “Everyday” by Dave Matthews Band, you will know what |’m get- ting at. This week’s cover art is a painting. Untitled, by J. A. Mason About the Artist: J. A. Mason full name: birthplace: sun sign: dogs or cats: bubble tea or chai latte: Jennifer Année Mason North York Leo dogs neither (coffee, maybe...) Mason currently lives in Etobicoke, and works a day-job doing “contract admin work,” because it allows her the flexibility to take time off to work on her art. After highschool, Mason dabbled as a professional tennis umpire, and briefly considered a career therein. She later attended OCAD for three years of the four-year program, and might return to finish it off “if she ever wants to teach.” She is currently at work on a commissioned portrait and another series, and plans to explore the themes of Formula One in the near future. While not feeling unduly influenced by any single artist, she admires the work of Rembrandt and Dali. Plans for next year include a trip to Italy, where Mason’s time will be spent exploring and “soaking up the culture” in Florence. For more information about the artist, or to find out how to contact the artist, please email The Underground. http://www.utsc,utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ °5 The Underground Opinions. J : Welcome To The University Of Toronto Matt Capper Why study at UTSC? Is the question asked on the admissions page of UTSC’s beautiful and disor- ganized website (but we will leave that one alone for now), the answer given right below it; “Choosing UTSC means that you will be studying at the finest university in Canada.” If this is not enough to encourage new students to come to UTSC, the page also defines our campus atmosphere, as an “informal atmosphere [that] encourages you to develop your own talents and become actively involved in campus life.” Informal? Encouraging? Really? | beg to differ. During the week of October 31, the SCSU had its first of two spirit weeks, to help promote school spirit and ENCOURAGE students to take part. As a member of the committee organizing the three days of events, | found myself experiencing just how FORMAL and DISCOURAGING the powers-that-be at UTSC, are. Being put in charge of the second day | decided that maybe it was time to bring something different to the students instead of the regular boring shit. We decided that day two would be a sports oriented day, however being an individual that is more into alternative sports | put forth the suggestion of possibly having demonstra- tions of a few of these sports. It was agreed on by the committee and the organizing began, along with it the legal bullshit of the ever so bureaucratic University Of Toronto. The idea was to bring in professional skateboarders and bikers who would put on a demonstration for the students in The Meeting Place, as well as other games and activities for everyone. After receiving a blatant Could you please sign this waiver? “NO”, from facilities manager, Nick Macdonnell, with the reasoning of liability and insurance, | was sent away to come up with a written proposal. To cut this part of the story short after three visits with Mr. Macdonnell | was sent on to a “higher power”, by the name of Jack Martin. Mr. Martin was very enthusiastic about this event and seemed to want to see it happen, but once again the catch was liability. Liability? Is exactly what | asked, and the answer | received back was the fact that the univer- sity was worried that if a student got hurt, the university might be sued. However, these issues were clearly taken care of in the proposal and did not seem to me to be problematic. After all, the chances of someone getting hurt would be less than those of a student falling down the stairs in the Meeting Place. However, once again | was pushed on to a “higher power’, this being Mr. Student Affairs him- self Tom Nowers. In short the resolution to this problem of insurance was to have the companies, which were individually owned stores who happened to do these events as promotions, sign a contract that took all liabil- ity off the University and placed it on these stores, and also ensured that the stores had insurance for up to $2 million. So here is the situation so far, we INVITED two companies to come out and put on demonstrations, they were happy to do it and would do it for free. The university turned around and said “sure, but we have to cover our multi-million dollar asses, so could you please sign this contract that holds you liable for everything.” So the event was off and we were stuck once again with “the same old shit”. However, in a sudden change of events the SCSU decided that they would take care of the insurance and that the event would happen, until once again the powers that be stepped in and denied the SCSU’s attempt to give the students a little bit of excitement. So day two was now to be very similar to the ones in previous years with a few games and some music. In an attempt to liven up these events and sal- vage the day, Flow 93.5 was brought in to pump out some music and get the students hyped up and active. However, shortly after they began the complaints that the music was too loud started to pour in and the music was lowered to a barely recognizable whisper. These complaints were not complaints of the students, who all seemed to be enjoying the lack of events, but those of the people in power that stopped the planned events from happening. So | ask: Is this university really one that encour- ages its students in all aspects of student life? Or is this university a university that wants us out of here as soon as possible and does not want its students to enjoy the time spent here?” It is about time that this university stopped thinking about money and started thinking about its students, | mean the reason we don’t have a library this year or a shuttle bus to the downtown library is so that UTSC could save money; money, which is ours in the first place. U of T’s powers-that-be need to start working for, not against, its students. After all we do pay those hefty salaries of theirs. Questioning the Undifferentiated Bitch Is it Independence or Racial Segregation? Drunken Philosopher An Other | have been pondering the idea of attacking this issue, and what with this being Cultural Awareness week, in addition to the various comments made of late by President Birgeneau, The Underground's own Lord of Darkness, and that lovely dissident Canadian Forever, | figured this is as good a time as any. Mr. Darkness certainly brought up some key issues, one that especially struck me was the idea of segregation. | myself have been wondering about this phenomenon for quite a while now, and | feel relieved that I’m not the only one to have noticed it. The people of UTSC, of Toronto in general, and | can only assume this is also the same for much of the rest of the world, self segregate themselves. In this sense | am not talking about cliques, or what type of people one chooses as their comrades (though this is a factor). | speak of the segregation of selves by race. Black people are friends with black people, yellow people are friends with yellow people, brown people are friends with brown people, and dare | mention the shnozzberries? | will not lie: For the most part | fall into this segre- gation of race as well. | am very, very white, and most of my friends are as well, but my girlfriend is distinctly brown. | mention this last fact not because it shows that | look outside skin color, but to point out to all you stereotype hating assholes that there are, of course, exceptions to this unwritten rule of segregation. But for my part | should also mention that my love of exotic women is exactly that; | have no taste for white women, and see nothing wrong with exogamy. So in a sense | am still part of some sort of racism, namely in my dis- taste for white women. Go figure. | have examined, in my own mind, why all this seg- regation takes place, and | believe | have come up with a reasonable excuse for this act of self-segregation. Of course everyone picks their friends by what they are like. A computer-holic is not likely to find any common ground to establish a meaningful, or even enjoyable, friendship with a sport-aholic. Likewise a Muslim is not going to be likely enjoy the company of a Jew. A preppy trance-loving Indian boy is not likely going to establish a workable friendship with a thugged-out white junglist. A white punk kid is not likely going to enjoy the extended company of an Ecko and doo-rag wearing black b-boy. But in the same line | should mention that when | see groups of people who are not all of the same skin color, though this is rare, the hair of each person, the clothes of each person, and the language of each person is generally the same. Why is this? | think it should be obvious. If you want to go to the Guvernment every Friday night there is probable little chance that you would want to go to System Soundbar for Body-Roc. And if a potential com- rade is just the opposite in this regard then there is not much common ground to work on. So of course in this sense we will segregate our selves. But where does it start? That is the area of the general question that | don’t think | can answer. Why do these stereotypes of the white-thug junglist, the black-thug rapper, the Asian computer nerd, and the Indian preppy boy start? These stereotypes exist for a reason—they are for the most part reliable—but why does one race find certain lifestyles more appealing than another? Is it because Japan is the home of tech- nology, the ghetto is the home of black culture and hip hop, and because white middle-class boys have nothing better to do than be angry at a system they don't think they can fight so therefore waste all their allowances on hallucinogens and Doors albums to feel like they are a part of something? These characterizations are racist. That is a fact. But are they insultingly racist? | would argue that they aren't. To say that different races, and different cultures, should all be interested in the same activities amounts to absurdity. | say kudos to racist student groups (sorry, cultural student groups) here at UTSC. While cross-fer- tilization and integration of cultures and races should be promoted, there is no reason that it should be done to a degree where the world becomes one single mongrel species. While | don’t think | have said anything wondrously new or innovative here, | just thought that it was an issue that has been of some concern lately here at UTSC, and that another opinion on the matter would be useful, if for no other reason than to instigate some sort of hate-mail. So | pose to the UPSI yet another question, this one with four parts: Why does Canadian Forever have to — be stupid (why do | think s/he is stupid? | don’t know, just answer the question!), what does it say about Canadians as a race (regarding stereotypical interests perhaps), and why does a certain race have distinct life- styles? And more realistically, do you believe that these lifestyles are not in fact correlating to race, but more — precisely to culture? News - wig Metts * Wednesday, November 20, 2002 The News In Brief... The Russians are coming USSR membership drive in Meeting Place This past week if you walked through the Ms. Orlovsky hopes that this new club will Meeting Place, you may have noticed a table set “help bridge relations between Russian and up for the USSR. This is a new club at UTSC, non-Russian students” and she assured the and club president Svetlana Orlovsky was kind Underground that students who do not speak enough to answer a few of our questions about Russian are more than welcome to come out and the USSR. learn more about Russian culture. The USSR has only been running since So after a mostly succesful membership drive October of this year, however they already have the USSR invites all students to come out and a membership of 35. The name of this club is learn more. Interested students can find more certainly controversial and we asked Ms. Orlovsky _ information from the SCSU offices. her reasons for choosing the clubs name. “Indeed the club name does carry with it some conotations but those are not in anyway intended to be offensive to anyone. The only reason for choosing the name is that most of the Russian- N O Libra ry, No G lass speaking community in Toronto comes from the former USSR, which at its time held many differ- Construction on the new library is continuing and much has been completed. ent countries and cultures together. Therefore, Wood and metal have been neatly stacked and dirt has been nicely piled. In other Russian-speaking students from different coun- construction news, the new residence hall is also coming along well. Many residence students from last year were concerned that noise from the construction would be a problem for residents in F-Block. When asked if this had, in fact, become a problem, one F-11 resident replied that he had gotten used to the noise for the most part and it didn’t bother him much. He did add, however, that the noise from the construction tended to drown out his alarm clock, and he was thus regularly late or absent from many of his morning and afternoon classes. This doesn’t bother him much either. tries that are now separate still have USSR in common. The name only carries the conotation of point of origin, and does not in ANY WAY Carry in it conotations to communism.” Poetry in Bloom Canadian poet Ronna Bloom performed a reading and B ut it M ust Be guest lecture Friday at UTSC. Bloom read from her first book of poetry, Fear of the Ride, and also from the recently Th . W published Personal Effects. When asked about what she IS ay thought her own role as narrator of her poems was, she replied that in her first book the narration was very per- sonal. In her newest book, however, she said that she “kind UTSC students turned into a horde of walking bill- of wanted to get out the way a bit,” and that the narrator of boards Friday after a mass-marketing company for most of the poems was not her specifically. She wanted the Perrier soda water handed out free bottles of the Perrier poems to “stand on their own” more. Bloom's next effort is _ Product to make sure everybody knew that their bottles another collection of poetry, titled Public Works and will be were now plastic instead of glass. Yay. coming out sometime in the near future. “The News In Brief..." is compiled by The Underground's new News Editors, Gordon Lane and Dan Sharpe. headend ‘ \ T he Underground News The University of Toronto at Scarborough Student Crime Stoppers and the University of Toronto Police would like to thank the community for taking such a keen interest in this incident. Many individuals came forward to show that they are taking ownership of their University and are displeased that this type of activ- ity could occur here. The suspect photos posted outside the UTSC Police office have been the subject of intense scrutiny over the past week. While two of the individuals depicted in the video stills have been identified and investigated, two other suspects have not. The two males in question played key roles in the theft of the video game mother- board. Theft from UTSC Arcade Video Machine - Caught on Tape at 1:38 p.m. Monday, November 4th, 2002 At 138 p.m. Monday, November 4th, 2002 two unidentified male youths moved a video game called ‘Bust-A-Move’ away from doorway view in the 2" level Bladen Wing Arcade. The 1* male stood in front of the 2nd male while he pried the machine open and removed the motherboard (operating system). The males then departed the arcade quickly. Descriptions: Male #2 - Male, dark skin, possibly Indian descent, 60”, approx. 23 yrs, heavier build (210 Ibs.), wear- ing a black toque with light insignia on the front, grey sweater with horizontal stripe 8 inch horizontal stripe across chest, dark pants and a black leather jacket. He inspected the entrance camera several times, likely believing it to be phony. He also broke into the video game and removed the motherboard. Male #1 - Male, possible Asian descent, 5’5”, 150 lbs. clean shaven, light build, approx. 20 yrs., wearing a light ball cap, white down-filled winter coat and dark pants. He provided cover while the 2"? male forcibly entered the video machine. If you recognize either of these males please notify UTSC Police immediately at 416- 287-7398. Photos of the suspects are available for viewing inside and outside the UTSC Police office. If you wish to remain anonymous, you can call Student Crime Stoppers at 416- 222-TIPS. Crime Stoppers will pay a cash reward for any information that will lead to an arrest or successful conclusion of this incident. Callers never have to give their name or testify in court and they do not use call display. Remember, Crime Stoppers is interested in what you know, not who you are. TWO THEFT SUSPECTS REMAIN UNIDENTIFIED http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ i Arts Wednesday, November 20, 2002 Cdn, Novermber'20, 2002 Things look up for creative writers at UTSC Creative Writing Circle is trying to publish a journal... Keith Friedlander Arts Editor To an aspiring, young writer Scarborough Campus might not seem like the ideal environment to progress in one’s craft. Some may find university a distracting or even dissuading influence on writing and come to think that cre- ative aspirations must take a back seat to everything else here. On the surface there’s little in the way of encouragement, inspiration or community to encourage writers here on campus. UTSC’s English student association WoRD seems to be completely defunct this year and there doesn't seem to be anyone organizing a new one. But like so many other things at UTSC, there are more opportunities and outlets for creative writing than is readily apparent. Every Thursday from 5 until 7pm the UTSC Creative Writing Circle meets in room 207 in the library. Started last spring and maintained by Kristen Guest and the students involved in it, one can join the Writing Circle any evening to talk about creative writing, test out material or hear what others are working on. Right now the group is trying to put together and publish a creative writing journal that FEAR IS ATRIGGER SUBJECT TO CLASSIFICATION ; http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ PARAMOUNT PICTURES MOP WORLDWIDE xo DIAWANT COHEN PRODUCTIONS peser AVAPOLLOMEDA/ETREME PRODUCTIONS prooucrion wAssoonion WTA THE CAROUSEL PICTURE COMPANY x GERMANY UNITED KINGDOM CO-PRODUCTION « CHRISTIAN DUEGUAY ray DEVOWSAWA BRIDGETTE WILSOW-SAMPEAS RUPERT GHAVES ann RUFUS SEWELL “EXTREME OPS” HEINO FERCH ano KLAUS LOWITSCH “SE WOBMAND CORBEL ann STAMISLAS SYREWIZ puoaess ROMAIN SCHROEDER RUDY COHEW MARK DAMON DAVID SAUNDERS ruoucs FRANK HOBWER Ano TOM REEVE "57 MOSHE DIAMANT JAN FANTL °"At TIMOTHY SCOTT BOGART no MARK MULLIN °°" MICHAE! ZAIDAW IN THEATRES NOVEMBER 27 PRG ORISTANLDUBLAY pe ExtremeOpsMovie.com _7—=- TM 6 COPYRIGHT © 2002 BY PARAMOGHT PICTURES, ALL GICQITS REXEIVERL will showcase some of the talent here on campus. They are currently accept- ing submissions for the journal from any and all students in UTSC, so if you'd like to see your work get printed they're providing the opportunity. Submissions must be delivered to Kristen Guest at her office in library room 202 or e-mailed to her at kguest@utsc.utoronto.ca by December 2. If you don’t have time for extra cur- ricular pursuits, there are options being provided within the course calendar for creative writing as well. Professor Garry Leonard of the English department has revived UTSC’s writing courses, includ- ing a B level course and a C level inde- pendent study. The course is limited enrollment and requires the approval of a student's writing portfolio for admittance. This course provides students oppor- tunities to practice, discuss, and revise amongst a group of peers, and Leonard hopes it will help them find their voices. | had a chance to ask Professor Leonard what he'd like to impart to stu- dents interested in his creative writing course and writing in general. “One may not be able to ‘teach’ people how to be creative,” he explained, “but my approach is to make writers more self-aware about how the writing they do is the sum total of choices they have made, and being aware of your writing as the result of choices allows you to debate alternatives.” As Flannery O'Connor said when asked by a writer what they would need to have to be a good writer: “All you need is a childhood”. My other quote you know is from Robert Frost. When approached by a student in his poetry class and asked, “Do you think I’m a Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingo writer?” Frost replied, “Try stopping and see what happens.” Another opportunity to hear some of the local talent and to have your own work heard is coming up in mid to late March when there will be an open-mic night held for students. Details are still sketchy but some of the work produced from the creative writing course will be featured and it will be a great opportunity to meet other writers. Still, there are other outlets for writers to pursue on campus. The Underground is still accepting submissions of poetry for our Groundworks section and will soon begin having focus sections on specific writers in the student body and their work. One can also pursue their writing endeavours independently. Garth Jensen makes for a good example of how much one can do if they just apply them- selves to their writing. He recently held a reading of his completed play “Searching For Adonis” and is now submitting it to the Hart House [Drama Festival]. It's important to keep one’s eyes open for opportunities on campus, as a lot of them can easily pass by unno- ticed. It's easy to ignore creative writing when more pressing deadlines are so predominant, but UTSC is a surprisingly supporting environment for one to follow their interests. As Leonard told me, “Encouraging creative writing is crucial since a given culture in a given time and place cannot understand itself merely through analysing the statistics it gener- ates. ‘Show me the study that proves it’ is a popular mantra now as people vie for Sparse resources, but there is much that no study can show, and it is this that is the subject of creative writing.” You wrote a column And spelled “school” wrong fifteen times. What a hack you are. he Underground by Erin Howe For years now, women have been complaining that they fall victim to numerous negative influences. Heroin- chic models drive us into eating disor- ders, promiscuous movie stars force us to choose between “virgin” or “whore” and Barbie compels us to get breast implants. | think that somehow, the blame has been wrongly shifted from real people to mere playthings. Molded of plastic, and standing only 11 %” tall, Barbie somehow has grown into a_larger- than-life influence, apparently affecting the self-perception of generations of women. Adults who have long since grown out of their fondness for the very things that once brought them joy, now seem believe that the same dolls are capable only of bringing nothing but poor body image. Although | do not question that some women do believe that the unrealistic ideals that Barbie and others embody, | am curious about why men do not appear to suffer from parallel feelings of “Why can’t | look like G.!. Joe?” Why does no one feel the need to wage a war Just as little girls grew up dreaming through their fashion dolls, little boys grew up acting out through G.I. Joe. And just as Barbie and has her own disproportionate hip-waist-chest ratio, I'm certain that the action figures that boys toyed with in their youth also had huge and unrealistic pectoral muscles, and shoulders that were so broad that no man could possible attain a similar shape without the aid of steroids. How is it that the action figures are incapable of sending men to the gym in droves? Why aren't more men looking into using so- called “nutritional supplements” to bulk themselves up? What is it that makes Barbie’s image so much more potent than G.I. Joe’s? Unfortunately, | do not have any of the answers to these questions. My aim is not to defend Barbie, but to understand why it is that women are mcre suscep- tible to feeling like they have to measure up, not only to other people, but to dolls. In an attempt to cultivate curiousity, | wish to leave you not with knowledge, but a hunger for it. against G.I. Joe and his imitators? Feature r " ie BE se AEEROET FFE = / Mb his & The future of parking at UTSC looks hopeful... Christian Lucier interviews Kim McLean about what's in store for commuters. After my _ interview with Kim McLean, Associate Principal and Chief Administrative Officer, parking condi- tions in the years to come do appear to be promising. Not only did Ms. McLean address my questions in depth, but she was also well prepared and eager to address my concerns. It turns out a Governing Council determines the prices for the various forms of parking at UTSC. This council is incredibly complex and complicated. It is made up of the University Affairs Board (UAB), Service and Ancillary Review Group (SARG), the UTSC Planning and Budget Committee, as well as Financial Services. According to Ms. McLean, parking at UTSC is an ancillary. Ancillaries are, “Operations or services a university needs that are not covered by government grants or student tuitions.” So right there, all my complaints about expensive parking when | pay nearly six thousand dollars in tuition fees, flies out the window! Ms. McLean states for the record that UTSC Parking is in_ transition. 10 Unfortunately, this transition is going to cost us, the commuters. The rea- sons for this transition phase are the increase in student enrollment and the new Centennial campus, which is being built on the corner of Morningside and Ellsmere. As for the pothole-plagued gravel that is located at the end of the outer lot, this was not fixed over the last two years, due to future plans for the lot that will commence this summer. Future plans for the parking lots are in the process of becoming a project com- mittee report. | tried to press for some of the information in this report, however my attempts were to no avail. There are still a few things to expect though. For next year, be prepared to see a new lot being created on the opposite side of the outer lot on Military Trail. As well, expect to see the outer lot undergo a bit of a face-lift. After extensive talks with Ms. McLean, it appears as though the outer lots might be shared with Centennial. As of this moment, Centennial does not have any legal entitlements to the outer lot, but discussions are still pending. If it turns out that UTSC commuters will have to share parking spaces with Centennial, Ms. McLean assures me that UTSC will be kept first and foremost in space loca- tion and availability. However, be pre- pared to share with Centennial, for when discussing why the outer lot was not repaired this past summer she states: “Money for Centennial’s portion of the parking lot isn’t going to arrive yet or... a lot of that hasn’t been discussed.” To clarify matters so far, the prices for parking have increased over that last few years, because parking at UTSC is an ancillary, which must obtain funding inde- pendently. This on top of deferred repairs and necessary construction, results in a parking fee that is rich. However, even with the information provided by Ms. McLean, new concerns arise. When and if the construction is completed, will the parking fees decrease to a more affordable level or will parking keep them the same or raise them to build their reserves? Also, if we are to share with Centennial and the lot sizes increase, will the maintenance fees increase the parking prices? With the immense size of these lots it is plausible that another parking patroller would be required as well as another ride safe bus. Talk about mo’money, mo’problems. After my fifteen minutes of allotted interview time were up, Ms. McLean made certain that | had enough infor- mation and that my concerns were addressed. | really felt she took the interview seriously, and it was nice to finally get some answers after being derailed time after time. It looks like time will tell how parking rates will go, but Ms. McLean is obviously aware of our concerns as UTSC commuters. Before | left her office, she informed me of a link on the UTSC website, which relates to the growth of the campus. Upon check- ing it out, | did not find it all that useful. Unfortunately readers, there are no con- crete (no pun intended) answers, just the — faith and trust we have in the Governing Council and. their consideration of our needs. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ PROVI ~ Li ~a | ~~ POWER. RSE - IM 0 IS E TH TH TEAM M STEVE MOORE The Underground Reviews Festival of One-Acts Titillates The Underground's Meghan Hurley nearly wet her pants at ACT ONE SEEN TOO! Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, the Drama Society presents Act One, Seen Too. UTSC’s very own Leigha Lee Browne Theatre hosted the fifth annual festival of one act plays. Act One Seen Too was a night of acting and musical entertain- ment that gave students the chance to seduce their audience, and gave them a taste of all aspects of theatre. The show consisted of several one act plays that kept you on the edge of your seat unable to control your laughter. All actors and actresses delivered impeccable performances, and were dedicated to impressing their audience. The show began with a musical interlude performed by the voluptuous Catherine Hughes in a prom dress, along with Michael P. Taylor tickling the ivories. The musi- cal duet of “Why Can’t You Behave” was a performance that must have been dedicated to Dan Savoie, who played the seducer of men’s wives in the drama festival. Catherine and Michael set the stage for the night of drama with their cute little rendition. lf you are an aspiring actor and fear disastrous auditions, then | must put an R-rated label on the second performance, “The Role of Della”. This one act play, that was directed by Krista Watson, was about a nervous, overly self con- scious actress trying to audition for the role of Della in front of a very difficult director. This performance proves that actors truly are talented people who can do any character, even, animals! “The Role of Della” was comical, original and very suit- able for a night of drama in which the actors probably had a little case of stage fright themselves. Before intermission, Yuri Cho took centre stage with her monologue titled Gam-sang ( Dark One). Have you ever been mistaken for Chinese or Japanese? Well, Yuri has, that’s for sure. Her entire self written and self-directed monologue was about being mistaken for Japanese, when she is actually Korean. How some- one can write an entire monologue on her mistaken identity is beyond me, but nonetheless she performed a hilarious, yet offensive, mockery of the white man’s ignorance. Please keep in mind that the next time you see someone you think is Chinese, before you say “Ley ho ma’, stop, drop and think. That's right, they may be Korean. Following the lovely inter- mission of overpriced, bitter coffee, the audience was turned on by Dan Savoie in “The Seduction’, directed by Sarah Stevenson. Has your true love ever been taken away from you by a very intelligent, sexy and smooth slime bag? That is almost what happens in this play. Dan man- Rendezvous With Madness Anyone? by Nadine James On Thursday, November the 14" | hopped onto a streetcar and began my voyage down Queen to Ossington. Upon arrival, | was immediately faced with the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health — Clark’s Institute - where the Workman Theatre Project is located. | got my ticket to see the film Quitting, by director Zhang Yang, and suddenly real- ized that this was going to be a fantastic evening. The film was part of the Rendezvous With Madness Film Festival, an annual festival, which celebrated its 10" anni- versary this year. The objectives of the film festival, according to the Festival Director Lisa Brown, are to “explore the facts and mythologies of mental illness, as presented by Canadian and interna- tional filmmakers, to facilitate discus- sion with respect to these cinematic representations, to provide filmmakers with an opportunity to screen their films, which might not otherwise be seen, and to increase awareness and advocacy for mental health issues and concerns’. Being there, | felt it did just that. Once in the theatre, you are greeted and invited to browse at various pieces of art created by some of the patients at the centre that surround the aisles and perimeter of the theatre. A wide variety of up-beat music plays while you watch the main screen displaying facts about actors/actresses, models, films, and film characters that have suffered from, explored or dealt with a mental illness or drug addiction of some kind. | never realised how much mainstream media deals with the subject of mental illness until | saw it, literally, flash before my eyes. The lights go dim and the show begins ... As | mentioned before, the film | saw was Quitting, by director Zhang Yang. The caption on the program read, “A film about a movie star struggling with addic- tion - seems like you've seen it before, doesn't it? But how often does the star in question play himself, with his real life parents, friends and associates as sup- porting cast?” My immediate reaction was disbelief, but it soon became appar- ent that this wonderful piece of film was, in fact, an act of redemption, healing and forgiveness on the part of its maker Jia Hongsheng. trays Hongsheng’s addiction to drugs as neither glamorous nor romantic. It depicts how his worried family arrives from Beijing to take care of a volatile Hongsheng as he struggles to regain the self he once was and has since lost to drugs. Hongsheng’s obsession with European culture and The Beatles, his belief that he is John Lennon's son, and the conversations he has with a dragon are just a few of the struggles he faces in dealing with his addiction. Surprisingly enough Hongsheng manages to include several humourous incidents in this film that take the topic of mental dysfunction and turn it, at times, into something more real... something, that like anything, can make people smile. This amazing film por- This movie contains complex issues of culture, self-identity, mental health, and rehabilitation that | can only attempt to touch on in this article. The movie won Best Picture in the Bangkok Film Festival and will be coming to local the- atres this month. | strongly suggest that you go see this film and take the journey | did. It’s well worth it. ages to seduce Anna Claudio ( the wife) by using Aaron Ballantine ( the husband ) to do so. Clever? Why yes, of course! The very sexy Dan Savoie can seduce any lady with that smile! After being seduced by Dan, “Four Yorkshiremen”, written by Monty Python, had the audience in stitches. | can honestly say that | have never laughed so hard at four well dressed men in suits, having a conversation over wine. Aspiring actor, Tom Nittoly, played one of these well dressed men and almost made me fall out of my chair laugh- ing. His character, which was very well played, said to his friends, “| had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night, half an hour before | went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill, and pay the mill owner for per- mission to come to work.” The seri- ousness with which he delivered his lines made it absolutely hilarious. He must be a good actor if he can hold a straight face through that scene, because | sure couldn't! The last one act play to hit the stage was a bad mix of brides- maids, cupcakes and _ pointless drama. “Intellectual Discussion or Poor Man’s Beckett” is the title of the play that speaks for itself. It was merely a food fight on centre stage. Where is the meaning? The empa- thy? The credible actors? If | were the writer of the play, | would have calied it “Just Desserts”, but who am | but a lowly university student. The festival of drama had its finale with another musical interlude from vocalist Catherine Hughes and pianist Michael Taylor. This musical interlude turned into a bash about musicians that sing about love. It topped off a night of comedy that almost made me wet my pants. The annual play festival is entirely stu- dent-run, and is a chance for UTSC students to show off their acting talent. After being part of the audi- ence at this night of drama, | can attest to the fact that UTSC does have some fine young actors. ee ee ee a 42 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Maybe Eminem Doesn’t Do So Much Vicadin After All by Andrew C. Epstein Mil Directed by Curtis Hanson Starring Eminem, Kim Basinger, Brittany Murphy, and Mekhi Phifer Rated: wwe wyy Musicians trying to be actors, and actors trying to be musicians. Sometimes when this happens, the product created is often the most atrocious (using the term ever so loosely) art that | have been misfortunate enough to be exposed to. People like Billy Bob Thorton and Bruce Willis think simply because they're tal- ented in one respect that means they are talented all around. This, of course, we know to be untrue. However there are a fair share of suc- cesses. People who you'd never expect to be any good, burst out of the gate with brilliant performances. Will Smith made a smash in Six Degrees of Separation, Cher shocked audiences with her off- beat (and ultimately Oscar-winning) performance in Moonstruck, and Bjork wowed the Cannes film festival with her role in Dancer in the Dark. Now we have Eminem, undoubtedly one of the most successful and captivating solo music stars of all time. Love him or hate him, he is in your face and seemed destined to be a star from the beginning. But now that’s a certainty, because he’s a Grammy-win- ning, multi-million record selling artist... oh yeah and he can act too. Actually that’s not giving him enough credit, because in 8 Mile Eminem gives a fantastic natural performance in his debut role. In all fairness | will admit that this is partially because he is playing himself. He plays young upstart rapper B. Rabbit, who is trying to escape his life of poverty in his Michigan trailer park home, where he lives with his drugged out mother (Kim Basinger), who is screwing one of his classmates from high-school, and his little sister Lily. The film documents the obstacles that lie in his way such as a rival rap group called The Free World, who tries to beat and scare Rabbit and his friends known as Three One Third. Rabbit battles with his own crisis of mind as he tries to decide whether or not to drop his dreams of getting signed to a record label and just focus on his working class job at the steel works in order to support himself and his family. In every scene Eminem evokes the feel- ings of fear and frustration that shows why so many great musicians have arisen from Detroit's underdeveloped areas. Remember people like MCS5, Alice Cooper, Madonna, Andrew W.K., and most of the great American DJ’s all emanate from the same place. Director Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle), avoids treating this picture as a traditional rags-to-riches story, and instead focuses on Rabbit's develop- ment as a person and as a performer. The performances themselves, mostly taking place at battle-rap events, are outstanding. Even the rappers that lose in the opening rounds give stellar appearances. In the press material it’s never stated whether or not these were scripted battles or whether Hanson just let them go. Frankly, | kind of hope it was the latter. Hanson takes great care not to make the film feel forced. All the action seems authentic, as do the individual perfor- mances. Rabbit has great chemistry with love interest Alex (Brittany Murphy), as they make love amidst the pulsing and pounding steel works in a wonderfully intense scene. The film forgoes the big showy pay-off at the end, but rather shows the fulfillment of Rabbit as a human being and not arrap star, because as 8 Mile tries to convince you, that is far more important anyway. Young Artist Evokes Dark Humour in The Meeting Place by Elena Bird Marcel Dzama More famous drawings November 6th to December 15th 2002 The Gallery UTSC, (in the Meeting Place) Monday- Friday, 10am - 4 pm, or by appointment Free www.utsc.utoronto.ca/-gallery _ * http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ After having traveled across North and South America, Europe, and Asia, a retrospective package of the young Canadian artist, Marcel Dzama, can be seen at The Gallery UTSC until the middle of December. Only 28, Dzama was born in Winnipeg and graduated from the University of Manitoba. He has produced more than 2000 drawings and is represented by the prestigious David Zwirner Gallery in New York and Richard Heller Gallery in Santa Monica. Celebrity collectors have raised the value of works that once sold for $5 to more than $1000. Acclaim for Dzama has been bestowed by critics of The New Yorker, The New York Times, and The Los Angeles Times. In Marcel Dzama: More Famous Drawings, 50 cartoon drawings on 10" x 13" sheets of manila paper, take you on a journey through Dzama's head - a Cat's tail props a reclining man; dog boys sit on snowmen; animal gangsters scheme; tanks have animal features, gun slingers shoot music notes; and misshapen bodies emerge from holes in the ground. The color and style evokes a romantic blend of 1920's German militarism and 1950's science fiction. These curious images convey a dark wry humour that is at times tender, but more often cunning and sly. Despite an absence of context, these stark ana brutal fables seem oddly familiar. A character as strange as a beer-drinking tree can be depicted with all the intimacy and immediacy of a photograph in an old family album. This is where Dzama shines. He makes the grotesque seem normal. His imagery tests the threshold of abjection but never crosses it, saved by delicacy and restraint - and the license of the cartoon world. Currently, the Art Gallery of Ontario is also exhibiting seven Dzama works in a small gallery in the contemporary collections, alongside works by two older Canadian artists, Kim Moodie (b. 1951) and Dennis Burton (b. 1933). Dzama's untitled drawings completed in 1998 again parody comic book narrative. There are the stock characters of a cat woman, gunslingers, supermen and inconspicuous tin-head men who slip in and out of the scenes. Eccentric and anti-heroic, this is the realm of medical experiments, conspiracies, spying, and getting away with it. Burton's American Heroes and Foes (1963) is a collage of comic book pages on masonite, over which red, orange and blue paint accentuates two large interlocking circles in the middle of the picture plane. Moodie's Assimilation and Conquest (1994), two lithographs on Japanese paper, depict soldiers invading a mythic jungle of part-animal- part-human characters that intricately flow and interlock like a subterranean labyrinth. This grouping of artists working in a similar vein contextualized Dzama's work, allowing viewers to see just how his shrewd appropriation of the naivet, of cartoons reveals a belligerent gothic aesthetic of diversion, sinew and firing squads. Together these works comment on the pervasiveness of comic book narrative and the range of style, content and inspiration it offers artists. See also: Marcel Dzama in the Permanent Collection Art Gallery of Ontario 317 Dundas Street Full-time students with ID $9 www.ago.net (see for gallery hours) The Underground _ Life ey VE ol ATTENTION The Scarborough Campus Students’ Union will be holding its Annual General Meeting of members on Wednesday, November 27, 2002, at 5pm, in S-403. All students are welcome to attend. The following items be discussed: - To approve the 2001-2002 financial records of the corporation - To appoint Hogg, Shain & Scheck LLP as the 2002-2003 auditors of the corporation - To approve a variety of amendments to By-Law #1 - To approve a variety of amendments to By-Law #2 - A report from the President of SCSU More information on the items above is available from room B-330, the SCSU office. In addition, the agenda for the meeting is available online at scsu.ca Light snacks and refreshments will be provided. Scarborough Campus Students’ Union The Student Voice for Student Needs SCARBOROUGH CAMPUS STUDENTS’ COUNCIL UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO STATEMENT OF FINANCIAL POSITION As at April 30, 2002 2002 2001 $ s ASSETS Current Assets Cash and short-term investments 241,273 182,178 Accounts receivable 14,117 21,684 Prepaid expenses 1,584 1,205 256,974 205,067 Capital Assets - (Note 3) 19,958 21,301 216,932 226,368 LIABILITIES AND FUND BALANCES Current Liabilities Accounts payable and accrued liabilities 38,990 32,641 Fund Balances Capital assets 19,958 21,301 Operating 217,984 172,426 237,942 193,727 276,932. 226,368 Approved on Behalf of the Executive Committee: 255 LE Os See accompanying notes. SCARBOROUGH CAMPUS STUDENTS’ COUNCIL UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO STATEMENT OF CHANGES IN FUND BALANCES For the year ended April 30, 2002 Operating Capital Total Total Fund Assets 2002 2001 $ $ $ $ Balance - Beginning of the Year 172,426 21,301 193,727 162,439 Excess of Revenues Over Expenses (Expenses Over Revenues) 48,799 (4,584) 44,215 31,288 Transfers re: Capital Assets Purchased (3,241) _ 3,241 = Balance - End of the Year ___ 217,984 19,958 237,942 —_193,727 See accompanying notes. eee wee ee De a ef ee at ty i ie 1 =] AUDITORS’ REPORT To the Members of SCARBOROUGH CAMPUS STUDENTS’ COUNCIL UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO SCHECK LLP SHAIN & Chartered Accountants We have examined the statement of financial position of Scarborough Campus Students’ Council, University of Toronto as at April 30, 2002 and the statements of revenues and expenses, changes in fund balances and cash flows for the year then ended. These financial statements are the responsibility of the Council’s management. Our responsibility is to express an opinion on these financial statements based on our audit. We conducted our audit in accordance with generally accepted auditing standards. Those standards require that we plan and perform an audit to obtain reasonable assurance whether the financial statements are free of material misstatement. An audit includes examining, on a test basis, evidence supporting the amounts and disclosures in the financial statements. An audit also includes assessing the accounting principles used and significant estimates made by management, as well as evaluating the overall financial statement presentation. In our opinion, these financial statements present fairly, in all material respects, the financial position of the Council as at April 30, 2002 and the results of its operations and the changes in its fund balances and cash flow for the year then ended in accordance with generally accepted Hors Vow Hd. h accounting principles. Toronto, Ontario Chartered Accountants 2255 Sheppard Avenue East Suite 404 June 7, 2002 Canada MO} 4 130 King Street West Suite 1560, P.O. Box 17 Toronto, Ontario Canada MSX_ 145 1 Tel (416) 499.3100 aS Fax: (416) 499 4449 E-mail: consult@hss ca.com www bss-ca.com a Member of Macintyre Strater Interasthonal SCARBOROUGH CAMPUS STUDENTS’ COUNCIL UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO STATEMENT OF REVENUES AND EXPENSES For the year ended April 30, 2002 2002 2001 $ $ Revenues Administrative account 191,941 187,237 Communications commission 200 430 Clubs commission 3,227 4,775 Academic services commission 6,419 8,498 A.P.U.S. 11,775 11,586 Social commission 95,667 95,585 309,229 308,111 Expenses Administrative account 131,253 142,229 Communications commission 2,291 2,135 Clubs commission 13,138 12,998 Academic services commission 9,182 7,661 A.P.U.S. 8,889 8,950 Social commission 100,261 102,850 265,014 276,823 Excess of Revenues Over Expenses — — 44,215 _31,288 See accompanying notes. SCARBOROUGH CAMPUS STUDENTS’ COUNCIL UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO STATEMENT OF CASH FLOWS For the year ended April 30, 2002 2002 2001 s $ Net Inflow (Outflow) of Cash Related to the Following Activities Operating Excess of revenues over expenses 44,215 31,288 Amortization of capital assets 4,584 4.615 48,799 35,903 Net change in non-cash working capital 13,537 (1,951) 62,336 33,952 Investing Acquisition of capital assets 3,241) (5,681) Net Increase in Cash 59,095 28,271 Cash and Short-Term Investments - Beginning of the Year 182,178 153,907 Cash and Short-Term Investments - End of the Year = 241,273 182,178 See accompanying notes. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ~~ Life Satan's Bakesale Andrew Epstein, “The Lord of Darkness” ; i. Wednesday, November 20, 2002 Wednesday, Novemberi20, 2002 This past summer | had the extreme pleasure of working as deputy station manager for Vibe Radio 91.9 FM, which broadcasts out of Erindale campus. Since being thrust in to university life just over two years ago, I've worked at all three radio stations in the U of T fold, and in that time I've never encountered the problems that Vibe has had to face in recent months. Since leaving the station in late August, I’ve not been around to see what damage these events took, so | can only speak from what happened to me personally, but that in itself represents the much larger problem that appears to be facing all students at U of T. For my work at Vibe | was to receive an honourarium in the grand total of $700. I’m writing this on the night of November 15, and as of yet | haven't seen a penny of this money. It had been a few weeks since I'd heard anything from the Vibe camp, and it was now mid-October. | contacted them only to find out in horror that the Student's Administrative Council (SAC) was withholding their fees. Apparently SAC president Rocco Kusi-Achampong wasn't happy that Vibe’s budget had been audited by an independent party and not SAC themselves, and so refused to release Vibe’s fees. Only a SAC Board of Directors’ vote can allow fees to be withheld, and as one wasn't held, this action (or inaction) shouldn't have been permitted. Time passed and still no money did | see. In that time (when | wasn't searching in desperation for food, drugs, or textbooks) | was in contact with Vibe on a semi-regular basis, and was repeatedly informed that SAC refused to budge. So it wasn’t until a recent front- page story in the Varsity was brought to my attention that | learned a new side to the story. Now SAC's story had changed dramatically. SAC vice-president John Lea spouted a new story about how Vibe’s fees were being held due to a $10,000 debt that they had accumulated from loans from the Erindale College Student Union (ECSU). Lea claimed that it was this debt that was preventing them from (vewTd Avo } The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased once again to join the provost in sponsoring the Northrop Frye Awards, One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of linking teaching and research. One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, college, school or department for extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- ing the link between teaching and research. relinquishing fees. Too bad | know for a fact that is claim is unsubstantiated. During the summer it was my job to prepare Vibe’s budget, and also secure $3000 in advance fees from SAC (as had been the case every summer). These loans from ECSU dated back to when Vibe was founded and were meant to help them pay for equipment and fees. As the station grew, the loans went to pay Vibe’s taxes every year. Apparently it was an unspoken agreement that this debt was to never actually be repaid; it was just used by ECSU to help Vibe with certain expenses. John Lea knew about this, because it he who demanded that | find out where the debt came from when | was pursuing the $3000 advance. So SAC was withholding fees from Vibe over a debt that didn’t actually exist. Nothing would change if this “debt” were erased from the financial documents. Or so one would think. Some believe that all this, in reality, is a calculated scheme perpetrated by SAC in order to take complete control over Vibe. SAC can’t do this if there is any remaining connection to ECSU, who also appoints Vibe’s board of directors as well. | was also told that in past conversations Kusi-Achampong has made it very clear to Vibe staff members that it is his desire to “own” Vibe, and these events only further demonstrate this. Why do they want this? It's a bit hard to Say. | was further told by some that Kusi-Achampong and Lea feel that Vibe is rightfully theirs, others have told me that there is some sort of long-running personal feud between SAC and ECSU, and to remove ECSU’s influence from Vibe would be a big coup for SAC. Whatever the reason, this action caused Vibe’s daily operations to be greatly disrupted. The station was unable to pay phone bills, bank expenses, or reimburse staff members for expenses. No one (including current Vibe employees and myself) were paid any salary, and there could be no equipment or supply purchases simply because there the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE UNE Res leno O.Fs TOR ONO Applications are now being accepted for the NORTH ROP FRYE AWARDS DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 PM. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor. Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca was no money. It is here that the major problem lay. This past Wednesday a meeting was held in which SAC finally agreed to produce the money, but the events that occurred should have never happened. SAC is in place to meet the needs of all U of T Students. However with Kusi-Achampong and Lea in control it apparently is only a body concerned with meeting the needs of it's own, with no regard for the people it is supposed to be helping. Does this sound familiar to you? That's because it's fascism, plain and simple, those with authority trying to get what they want at the expense of everyone else. Now | don’t know about anyone else, but | feel a little uncomfortable having the organization who controls the student fees run like a dictatorship. | freely admit that | don’t have a direct solution. When given an administrative or managerial position in a school organization my policy has been to punish abuses of power, but that probably isn't going to happen considering the school’s current public relations disaster with the U of T presidents recent comments about ethnic diversity. So | appeal to you my fellow students: write, email, or call Kusi-Achampong and Lea and let them know that you don’t want to be run by an organization that treats U of T like Stalingrad or East Berlin. Tell them that you believe in best for everyone and not a chosen few. Now let's just hope that Kusi-Achampong or Lea don’t have any five-year- plans to annex Poland. SAC Contact Info President Rocco Kusi-Achampong (416) 978-4911 ext. 228 president@sac.utoronto.ca Vice President Operations John Lea (416) 978-4911 ext. 234 vicepresident@sac.utoronto.ca WIV OF re, UTAA FAS SOK 7 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ei The Underground Hallucinogenics: A Primer by Sachin “Why In the Hell Am I on the Editorial Staff’ Hingoo So you've dropped your first hit of acid or that first couple grams of ‘shrooms and you're waiting for them to kick in. Maybe you're down in the Valley, maybe you're in class, or if you're like me, you're at the CNE. It's a bright, extremely hot day in July and you're back in Grade 10. A few hours earlier, someone handed you a bag of what looks like scrapings from the bottom of someone’s shoe. Someone's shoe that had been walking through a field of shit. The fact that the bag smells uncannily like feet does nothing to diffuse this image. Take them, your friend says, but make sure you're in a safe place. And is there any place safer than the Exhibition? No, says the mickey of vodka that’s cleverly concealed in your pocket, so you meander (stagger is probably a more appropriate word — you drank for the entire bus ride here) over to the funnel cake booth. Sprinkling the contents of the bag onto the fried dough, it's all you can do to keep yourself from puking right there in front of that Ring Toss game you can never win. Again, your pal Smirnoff keeps egging you on. Just eat them, says the almost-empty bottle from your pocket. So you do, with no small amount of effort. Never before has ice cream been so disgusting. But you're pretty drunk, so things like pain and your gag-reflex are almost completely numbed. Hooray! You're playing tic-tac-toe against a chicken about an hour later when things start to become a little sketchy. The chicken’s dead eyes look right into yours as it seems to be mouthing words. “You don't really think you can beat me, do you? You’re drunk and high and I'm in this glass box doing this all day.” And of course your concentration is shot. The chicken wins, much to the amusement of the people waiting in line behind you. You need to find something familiar when you start tripping, your friend told you a few hours ago, it’s the only way to keep yourself from freaking out. The chicken experience certainly didn’t qualify, so you decide to play some skee-ball. Good old familiar skee-ball. Big mistake. The concentric circles of the targets keep moving around. At one point your ball actually lands in the lane next to yours. Apologizing and racking up an abysmal score, you decide that games are not for you. Again, vodka-judgment kicks in and tells you to ride something. You're tripping pretty hardcore now, skee-ball having triggered some serious visuals that are now integrated into the schizophrenically-coloured environment of the Ex. Alligators and bears and other giant stuffed prizes seem to take on a life of their own, alternately pleading with you to play their games, or jeering at you when you don't. The wild colours of the midway seem to bleed into the sky as you look up, utterly disoriented. Before long, you're in front of a roller coaster, the only one at the Ex. You know, the one with the “lap bars” that don’t go above your knees. While waiting in line, you start to realize that maybe this isn’t such a good idea. “Positive attitude,” your friend said, “is the most important thing. If you think you're okay, you are.” Okay? You're about to ride a roller coaster that's nowhere in the neighborhood of being safe while under the influence of an entire mickey of vodka and a bag of mushrooms. You'll be fine. Fine, that is, except for the goblins. We're all familiar with the goblins in some form. Maybe you stayed up all night studying for an exam, or maybe you're at the Comfort Zone at 9:30 AM on Saturday morning after a rave. Either way, we all know the feeling of those little green monsters flying around your head, cackling and screwing with your vision in ways you'll never understand. Okay, maybe we don't all know that feeling. But! do. The next thing you know, you're in the coaster’s front car, rising towards a purple sky and laughing hys- terically. What a great idea this was, you think to your- self. It’s just what you needed, a calm, relaxing...oh god. And you're flying. For some reason you can't see the tracks anymore, and this safety bar is definitely not safe. At least your ankles will remain in the car even if you don’t, you think as you go around the first loop. Unsurprisingly, the goblins are keeping up with ease as the car flies up and down with abandon. The coaster actually seems to pick up speed around the next loop, this time coming unsettlingly close to hurling you from the car completely. And without warning and with a sudden pitch forwards, it’s over. You regain consciousness at Ontario Place inside the Cinesphere, watching a movie you don’t remember paying for. Somehow you managed to cross the bridge and sneak in, it seems. The movie’s about bears or winter or scinething that looks really fucked-up in IMAX. You wonder if they make these movies especially for stoned people. Who else but someone under the influ- ence would enjoy a bunch of disconnected aerial shots of fucking tundra? And indeed you are enjoying it. You start to hallucinate inside the boundaries of the humon- gous screen, picturing people and things (goblins) float- ing above the manatees or whatever it is the documen- tary film-makers took great pains to shoot. As the movie draws to a close with a little narration by Charleton Heston, you manage to make your way through the crush of people to the dizzying daylight outside. You start to come down while floating around in circles on a pedal boat. There’s a reason that they make these things for two people, you realize, and also a reason there’s pedals on it...for motion. But right now you're incapable of anything much useful. So you float there peacefully into the middle of the lake, watching the sun go down and reflecting on this beautiful, terrible day. The pedal boat attendant is getting pretty angry now and is yelling at you to come back, but you afford him none of your attention. And maybe, just maybe, you're saddened a bit. Not from any particular event during this surreal day, but by the fact that there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that you'll remember any of it. This "article" is meant to amuse you... Neither The Underground, nor it's Editorial Board endorses the use or consumption of illicit drugs (or alcohol for that matter) in public, family-oriented places such as the CNE. That's what GLOW is for... See you in the Meeting Place this Friday night. http://www.utsc.utoronto:ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, November 20, 2002 SEL “Inde , iby | [21D EUYVN\ES CHARACTERS NOW EXTRA CUTE BY SARAH “LA LOCA” BARMAK KRAWN AND QUA THE WORK 1S Baca 50 My MIND IAN WAS THIS ANNOYING KIO WHO | WANDERS. CAME TO COMIC EVENTS AND READ CANADIAN Comix MISPRONOUNCED THE NAMES opTic Dia OF AUTHORS I CIKED. NER’ fo [UO : Asoo ronas = TO ME So FAR THAT DAY WAS CHRIS MURPHY FROM SLOAN SHOWING UP ANO ASKING WHAT MY NAME WAS. WHERE Dip HE SAY HE LIVED? SEPTEMBER, mes ON THE STREET FESTIVAL , DOWNTOWN TORONT O, Mm HAWKING COMICS AT DRAWA/ AND UARTERLY's BOOTH. THE SL ENO OF SUMMER. LiZ FRoM THE COMPANY ’S BoyFRIEND WRITES FOR Book TV. AND |'M SINGLE AND Tet: ALous. tf THEN IAN SHOWED UPAGAIN. “~ TRUE STORIES ACCYRATE CLOTHING ~~ | SUDDENLY FIND WIM MUCH [SHourd 1 6E HIS FRIEND, OR MORE INTERESTING. THIS SHOULD | JUST PRETEND? 15 q CONVINCE S ME OF How THERE A DIFFERENCE? WHEN HE LEAVES, |’M JUST ABouT TO MAKE FUNOF HIM WHEN | |FIGURE OUT THAT HE’S HER BOYFRIEND. HOW COULD IAN HAVE HOTTIE LIZ AS HIS GIRLFRIEND? WHY DOES HE GET A COOL JOB? WHY DoNn’T | HAVE HIS JoB? (BESIDES THE FACT ey IVE NEVER TRIED To GET \T ) hi SHALLOW | AM. IT'S A PRIVATE PARTY, BUT! CAN ae T 7 You IN THROUGH $0, HOW’p YOU CHARACTER DVE To THIS FUCKS ME UP FoR THE (REST OF THE DAY! Joseph L. Rotman School of Management Toy dsalola) University of Toronto . Montreal@ NEW YEAR’s Dec. 30 - Jan 1 / 2003 2 nights accomodations Holiday Inn or Best Western From $189/QUAD includes Bus Book 3 friends go half price or Book 7 GO FREE! Thames Travel 1-800-962-8262 Party Package available! i tg Master of Ricncaement & Prelessioncl Accpnting - Designed primarily for non-business undergraduates - For careers in Management, Finance and Accounting * Extremely high co-op and permanent placement To learn more about the Rotman MMPA Program, attend our information session: Panama City Beach tron $299 Acapulco tom $1249 "Documentary TV series, Family Secrets, is seeking students (male or female) currently working University of Toronto at Scarborough A as exotic dancers. For more info call Va WWW othrayeilicut's . com (416)516-1833 or Thursday, November 28, 2002 11:30am - 1:30 pm Room S403, Council Chambers To book a Breakway Tours package, contact ta TRAVEL CUTS Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above Prices based on max. occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking, http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 17 Please consult our website: www.rotma n.utoronto.ca/ mmpa email: familysecrets@makinmovies.tyv" i The Underground | SEEK YOU, but | really have nothing to Say... How the Instant Messaging System is destroying the Art of Conversation. by Robert Chung The rise of the almighty Internet has made connect- ing with people from anywhere around the world only a matter of pointing and clicking. Communication has become easier and more convenient. It is possible in today’s high-tech world to be constantly connected to those with whom we wish to communicate. The advent of Internet Instant Messaging has this possible, without even seeing them face-to-face. Two prominent figures in this once new, now totally entrenched fad are ICQ, and MSN Messenger. And just like instant coffee, these forms of communication were created for those with no time to spare, and for whom quality isn’t as important as convenience. We no longer meet people somewhere, but in the “nowhere in particular” of collective cyber- consciousness. If we are in constant connection with anyone and everyone, how long will it be before we all run out of things to talk about? One can only maintain a conversa- tion so long before he or she begins to be bored, not only with what the other person has to say, but with what they themselves have to say. Suddenly, when we actually face each other in person, we have very little > to say to one another. Words become unnecessary, and we revert to Neanderthal like grunts and moans to express how, or what, we are feeling. Conversations are becoming one-word ping pong matches, where each person says as little as possible while keeping the conversation going, and it soon becomes a series of ummms and ahhhs, and even mehhhs. We accept this decline of coherent verbal language just as we did the 8-track tape. And what is the Internet Instant Messaging anyway? When | am “chatting” away on ICQ or MSN (to God knows who) a disembodied voice coming from another computer is receiving my own disembodied voice repre- sented in words, sentences and different symbols that even the most basic user of these programs is familiar with. Where is the person in all of this? And how do | know that the person | am speaking to is actually the person | wish to be speaking to? It could very well be some stranger, some impostor pretending to be some- one | know. And the scary thing is that | will never be entirely sure. Such a lack of certainty is what makes the Internet & iversti communication system so attractive. Being able to say what you want without facing possible embarrassment, and more importantly, being able to be who you want, is what makes Instant Messaging on the Internet so much easier than face-to-face communication. On MSN or ICQ, if we mistakenly say something we didn’t mean, or say something that might be construed as stupid, all we have to do is type “LOL” or “JK” or that stupid J and shrug it off. There is no red-faced embarrassment, nor is there the uncomfortable silence and awkwardness that usually follow a dim-witted comment. There is no cen- sorship on the Internet, nor is there any means of con- trolling what is said to whom. There is a total freedom — a lack of accountability that allows those demented few to use the Internet for their own sick personal plea- sures. Soon enough, people will not need mouths, or vocal chords, or facial muscles that allow us to smile, laugh, or show any emotions; Humans will have keyboards attached to their fingers, and LCD screens covering our faces, with thoughtless lazy messages like: CULSR J. coh Challenging g Homophobia rol g Campus aw Workshop i in Anti-Homophobia Today, 2 to 4pm in Council Chambers (S-403) Events pillaged from fi of ah event that might benefit from sending an email with “EVENTS?” in the subject line to: The Underground and its staff do not guarantee often sketchy nature of such events, the det any contact information provided beforehan Nov. 15-23 ART SYSTEM Installation. The Art Firm: Jason Maclsaac and Mark Sprott. 327 Spadina. 416-542-1222. Nov. 20 Ballet Creole. Afro-Caribbean Drum and Dance Ensemble, performs in the Meeting Place. 7:30 pm. Limited seating, reserve by calling 416-287- 7007. PWYC Admission. Nov. 20 Dream Catcher Workshop Ryerson Aboriginal Students Services, 350 Victoria St. 2-4pm. $5. 416-979- 5000 ext 6660 Nov. 20 Gardening Lecture at Civic Garden Centre. 777 Lawrence E. 7:30pm, Free. 416-397-1340 Nov. 20 Sex Is Not the Issue. Talk on relationships from a gestalt perspective. 7-9pm. The Gestalt Institute of Toronto, 194 Carlton. $5. 416-964-9464 Nov. 20 BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD: AFRICAN CANADIAN FEMINISMS. Book launch. 7pm, Toronto Women’s Bookstore, 73 Harbord Street (at Spadina). FREE Nov. 20 Walking Into Peace. Workshop on communicating with people of different cultures. 6:30pm York Woods Library, 1785 Finch W. Free. To register, 416-395-5980. Nov. 20 There will be an anti- homophobia workshop happening on Wednesday November 20th, 2-4pm in the council chambers (4th Floor S-wing)... please come out and support! Nov. 20 Kerri Sakamoto reading. 5pm, Wilson Hall. 40 Willcocks St., Free. 416- 978-5026. Nov. 21 Mark Kingwell speaks. Presenting his latest book Practical Judgements: Essays in Culture, Politics, and Interpretation. 7:30pm, Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex. Free. Nov. 22 Glow... (sub)urban night lights. Music, dancing, funky performance art, video streaming and body yers around the city, events we a little bit of buzz (i.e. Wednesday, November 20; 2002 ndergrotne painting. Presented by AMSS. 9pm Meeting Place All-ages/wristband. $10 advance/ $15 door Nov. 22 Books, Live! presented by the White Ribbon Campaign. Michael Redhill, Nino Ricci, Michael Winter, Andrew Pyper, Dennis Bock, Michael Crummey, Rohinton Mistry. 7:30pm, Con Hall. call Ticketmaster - 416-870- 8000. $22.50, or $9 for students. Nov. 22 Saint Cecilia Choral Concert. 8pm at St. James’ Cathedral, King/ Church. $15. All proceeds to support Cathedral Outreach Ministries. 416- 364-7865 Nov. 22 FREE FRIDAY FILMS AT INNIS COLLEGE - The Taiwanese Series. Hsi Yen [The Wedding Banquet] Innis Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. 7:00p.m. Nov. 22 Legendary Figures in Indian Music. Shankar & Gingger and Zakir Hussain. 8pm, Toronto Centre for the Arts., 5040 Yonge. 416-870-8000. Nov. 23 16th Annual Women’s Blues Revue. 8pm, The Music Hall, 147 Danforth. Tickets at Toronto Women’s Bookstore, Pages Books, Soundscapes and Backbeat Records. Call Toronto Blues Society 416-538-3885 or www.tor ontobluessociety.com Nov. 25 The University Professor Lecture Series, feat. Martin Friedland. “Reflections: A History of the University of Toronto” Location: Northrop Frye Hall, 73 Queen’s Park. 7:00 p.m Nov. 25 U of T Bookstore Reading Series. w/ Camilla Gibb, Eric McCormack, Andrew Pyper, Rui Umezawa. 7:30pm, Hart House Library, 7 Hart House Circle (2nd Floor). Nov. 27 Victoria Women’s Association presents “The New Program for First Year Students” Speaker: Dr. David Cook, Principal, Victoria College. Alumni Hall, 2:00 p.m. Nov. 27 to Dec. 1 REEL ASIAN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. See website for more details. http://www.reelasian.com/ Nov. 27 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 27 UTSC Band Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 12 noon: FREE Nov. 27 Holding Corporations to Account. A free forum at the St. Lawrence Centre. 27 Front E. 7:30-9:30pm. 416-366-1656 http://forum.stic.com the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE | Gasohy WEN GEveLiRessteloY OF STOR ONTO ents... The following is a listing of events information bsites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca any information printed in this listing. Do to the ails are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of d.... and otherwise, have fun! Nov. 28 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 Re:Cite(All)1 Leigha Lee Browne Theatre, 7 pm Nov. 29 UTSC Choirs Holiday Concert Meeting Place, 7 pm: FREE Nov. 29 TEMPTRESS. Outrageous NYC Drag Rock Band. 4pm, Wildside. 161 Gerard E. Free. 416-921-6112. Nov. 29 This Bridge We Call Home, book launch and party. 9pm Steelworker’s Hall - 33 Cecil Street Tix: $8-12 (sliding scale). Nov. 30 EarthTONES 2002. Live Music feat. Faculty of Medicine's finest musicians. Proceeds to children’s healthcare initiatives world-wide. $12 - 7pm @ Convocation Hall Info/tickets call 416-978-2684 earthtones2002@hotmail.com Nov. 30 End of Term Party This event will celebrate the affiliation of the Toronto Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies with the Sexual Diversity Studies Program and the launch of several scholarships for Sexual Diversity Studies Students. Come and meet other faculty and students who are associated with the program. 5:00p.m.-8:30p.m. University College Room 240 VEY OF 4, ~ a tte, Rate Sey May, < 4 ’ ’ “e ~, Ts cay i» ‘ Applications are now being accepted for the JOHN H. Moss SCHOLARSHIP A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded to a graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 PM. For further information or nomination forms, Division of University Advancement, 21 King’s College Circle, 3 Floor Tel: (416) http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 please contact your college registrar or the J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca rial To complete this masterpiece you will need: green highlighter blue highlighter yellow highlighter pink highlighter a black pen liquid paper (preferably in pen form, for those pre- cise sharp lines.) legend: 1=green highlighter 2=blue highlighter 3=yellow highlighter 4=pink highlighter 5=black pen 6=liquid paper 7=liquid paper, coloured over with pink highlighter happy colouring! Note: Team Diversions would like to dedicate this week's column to Prof. Lora Carney by Kelly Lisle & Ayshia Degia te he [. mn ‘ = * Annet an emmn rine ay aE eh i LapLE RLEGPL SEAR OER EEE ELE EELS PLN ELST GSE SEAS ELISE ESLE PE POLS DEDSEA SETAE EARLS EOS PRET GT POLES PISA EE EEE P ETE PRET SOLTES TA RAO TRaH e S ee oo PERE Pata See ree Seca OE Oe BE a. | x o LA Cf sadrrxwsin!A. amined stoic CREATING AN EVEN BETTER MEETING PLACE FOR GREAT MINDS UTSC Management Building '* A new building dedicated mostly to Management programs including co-op : Atrium, specially designed case rooms, om, general classrooms, faculty and staff offices _ : ee August 2004 UTSC’s new Management building will be open in 2004, providing the UTSC community with an additional 47,000 square feet of space. The building will include several case rooms (tiered, horseshoe shaped classrooms that are especially suitable for instruction in management courses), a skills room, offices for faculty and staff, interview rooms and a resource room for management co-op students, study spaces and general-purpose classrooms — including a 120-seat lecture hall. The official ground breaking will happen in 2003. For this information and more, visit: http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/growth/ ’ Wednesday, November 27, 2002 0 ndergroun d Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager News Editors Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Arts Editor ‘Keith Friediander Life Editor Christian Lucier Graphics Editor Greg Brown : On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Advertising Mepeger _ Susie Lopes ‘Accounting Menaa or Michelle Ng . Accounting Assistants _ Jullana Lam Millie Ng Staff Writers: . | Meghan Hurley, Kelly. Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veror 0, Rob Chung Contributors: _ Matt Capper, Jeff Rybak Letters and Opinions Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer’ s name and eden number. Submissions become the property of The _ Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for yment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided — it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control addi tion witty comments and criticisms (especially se of ubeious or malicious sup iseions) of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the What is the value of your education? It might not be what you think... Is UTSC Positive Space? Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letters p.4 Comments p.5 The News in Brief... p.7 Aris Ballet Creole performs at UTSC Pp.9 John Mayer performs at Kool Haus p.9 Reviews Die Another Day Pp. 1 0 Bowling for Columbine p.10 Contacting the Underground Staff Events Listings p.15 Opinions p.6 ; ci Life What UTSC comunity? p.12 Video games imitate life P.13 The Necessity of Excess P.13 Columns Frog in My Throat p.6 Satan's Bakesale p.14 Weekly Haiku p.5 For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Chris McKinnon. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON oo d nati averting. M1C 1A4 et ground | ember of Canadian | Phone: 416.287.7054 | c | Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca | Web: http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ | f http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground ; Sine This is not an editorial ’ve already written two articles for this issue and I’m tired and | don’t want to write an editorial. So here’s some advice: Last week's issue of The Underground matched the oa “he description of Suspect #2 with the incorrect photograph. Reade Onn stata oes eal eo ade Our sincerest apologies to the man in the picture. We UTSC Community, or lack thereof. | think maybe he’s missed the point of diversity here at Scarborough... | would like to know problems. what you think. hope that our mistake did not cause serious confusion or At press-time, UTSC Police are still seeking two suspects for questioning. Please see the postings outside the Police Station at the main entrance for more information, and the correct photographs. Read Merika Ramundo’s column (on the opposite page) and you'll learn how to say “| have to go pee!” in Italian. Read Robert Chung’s article about pro- crastination and alcohol. Then go get If you have information on this or other crimes, you can SEO , call Crimestoppers at 416-222-TIPS. You do not need to Read Andrew C. Epstein’s column about give your name. kiddie porn, and well... You might feel ill. Read Jeff Rybak’s opinion-piece (on the opposite page) and despair about the worth(lessness) of your education. Read the News-In-Brief, because it’s there! Read my article about Positive Space, because (believe it or not) it affects you... Hate our guts? Wish we were dead? Read Sachin Hingoo’s review of Bowling 3 2e : | for Columbine and you'll find out the Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: . : Charleton Heston is a big ol’ racist. Editor-in-chief Read the whole damn paper, ‘cause it’s The Underground, U of T Scarborough Msc aN ReselI DE es 1265 Military Trail, Room S364 And here are some answers to ques- Scarborough, ON tions you didn’t ask: MIC 1A4 Yes, | was mean to the Women’s Centre. or email c_mckinn@hotmail.com with “Opinion” or But | think they deserved It. “Letter to the Editor” in the subject line. Yes, | printed the wrong picture of one of the arcade-theft suspects last week, and I’m sorry. (By the way, we're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) Yes, | did go to GLOW. No, | was not stoned. Yes, | did have too much to drink. No, | did not drive home. “I do not wish them [women] to have power over men; but over themselves.” Chris McKinnon - Mary Wollstonecraft Editor in Chief 4- a) -- chs http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ . Comments Frog In My Throat Merika Ramundo Picture it. East-end Montreal, 1985. An eleven- year-old girl sits at her kitchen table doing homework while listening to Video Hits blaring from the television set. She hears keys rustling in a purse. The sound is coming from the front door. She smiles and does not answer. She waits and listens. The door-handle jiggles furiously. Bam. Whack. The door flings open and her eighteen-year-old sister makes a mad A-line dash for the bathroom. The girl runs after her older sister all the while making “pee” noises to kick-start the release of her sister's bladder before she can make it to the bowl. Ahhh, those were the days, dear readers, when a girl could really cause havoc for her older sister’s bladder. Hell, when | was a kid there was even an Italian song about peeing (see afterword)! As genes, luck or Murphy's Law would have it, there are now moments when | have to pee at the most inop- portune time. It seems that | always have to pee when I'm looking for something or waiting for someone in a public place, of course. In my case, the sure-fire sce- narios that almost always instigate my need to pee are: While searching for a film in the video store. While looking for that obscure cd in a music store. While making my way through the stacks at the library. : While waiting at any bus stop or subway sta- tion. While washing dishes. Stepping outside to do laundry combined with a cold breeze. While walking home, when | am literally thirty seconds away from the front door. http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ There will be a general meeting of the scarborough Campus Students’ Press on November 27th, at 8:00 p.m. in Rm $-364. If you're interested in joining the SCSP as a board member, please plan to attend. Wednesday, November 27, 2002 Mi Scappa La Pi Pi It's almost as if there is a ghost (let’s call him Tinkle) who waits for these moments in order to test my physi- cal spirit and ingenuity. Tinkle would be glad to know that there are some tactics that I’ve picked up through- out the years that have helped me to repress my blad- der just long enough to make it to a bathroom. Here are my tips for surmounting obstacles in a game of urinary tug-of-war. Run for the closest washroom. This is not 100% effective especially when you are walking down a street in a desperate search for a coffee shop that doesn't force you to buy something before handing over the key to liberation. Try to act casual. Look for a seat and cross your legs. This manoeuver helps to keep everything in and calms the tide before the storm. This simple move can give you some extra time to plan out the next course of attack — what to do after you stand up. If there are no chairs where you are, squat to maintain floodwaters. This move works particularly well at the video store or in the library because you can pretend to be looking for a book or video on the bottom shelf without being recognized as a person in dire need of urinary release. In desperate cases, sit on the floor or sidewalk until the feeling subsides. | have had to do this once. Unfortunately the guy that | was dating was there at the time. It was not a pretty sight. Me, not amused, sitting on the corner of my street and he, laughing his ass off at my very unique version of a sit-in. From that moment on, | was called pee-satan. Needless to say, my Strategic Planning course never taught me these life saving strategies. | had to learn them the hard way. Nevertheless, | have come to realize that it’s all about timing. | used to be in arush to do everything at once. | never made time in my day to think about whether | needed to visit the loo before going places. Now, | will take that extra five minutes to stop and smell the flower scented bathroom-deodorizer in order to avoid a lifetime of shame and cold, wet underwear. Afterword: This Italian song entitled Mi Scappa La Pi Pi was taught to me by my grandparents. | believe it is part of the Italian folk repertoire. | know of no child of Italian descent that does not know this song...... it has reached cult-status. Mi scappa la pip’i. Mi scappa la pip’i. Mi scappa la pip'i, pap’a. (X 4) Non ce la faccio proprio pi’u, io la faccio qui. Translation: | have to go pee pee, | have to go pee pee, | have to go pee pee, pappa (X 4). | can’t keep it in any more, I'm going to pee right here! Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingo Where is my OSAP? | made a belt from paper Have you seen my pants? Opinions “The Underground : The Dollars and Sense of Education Jeff Rybak How is your education valuable, exactly? Few who are attending university or involved in providing the edu- cation would argue that it isn’t valuable, but there are some competing ideas about where the value is to be found. And | think it’s very important that everyone who is attending university should know, for damn sure, what kind of value they are looking to get out of what they are investing here. In terms of dollars and cents our undergraduate degrees are worth less today than they ever have been at any time in the past. All kinds of government statis- tics establish that more and more people are attending university, in terms of population percentages. This is considered a healthy economic trend and is part of what establishes us as a premier nation in terms of quality of life. But it's also a very simple way of proving, in terms of supply and demand, that higher education isn't as salable as it once was in today’s job markets. If 5% of the population have undergraduate degrees on their resumes it really means something. If 40% have them, it means a heck of a lot less. That’s just common sense. Many would argue the value of education is not to be found on a financial balance sheet and | would be inclined to agree. The CFS is of that opinion, which is one of the reasons they are campaigning for lower tuition fees and more government support. If education is healthy for our society, the government should be pre- pared to support it. That's the argument, anyway. And it's a very old argument between education as valuable unto itself and education as a marketable commodity. There was a letter printed in the Nov. 6 issue of the Underground by Quentin Stossel. To quote him: “If tuition is lowered, the next agent of selection might likely be academic merit.” His position, roughly restated, is the financial position of his family (and to be fair, his willingness to work) is what's allowed him to attend university over those who might have better academic ability. He is in favour of high tuition because they help keep university degrees in the hands of the “haves” and maintain the marketable edge of the degrees by keeping the selection of people who have them more exclusive. He knows why he’s here. He’s buying his way into the “haves.” | can't tell anyone why they are in university. It is something every student needs to decide individually. But it’s something every student absolutely has to think about. This is the essential force at work in university today, and the source of so much conflict on so many different issues. On the one hand there is the philoso- phy that university is here to improve our young people and to make them better citizens and to make Canada a better country as a result. On the other hand there is the philosophy that university is here to provide marketable skills for the people attending it so that they will realize financial and social reward once they are done. From the first perspective - that university is here to improve society - low tuition fees, government support, wide participation, and programs that don’t necessarily suggest a marketable skill all make sense. From the second perspective - that university is a financial invest- ment with a financial payoff - deregulation of tuition, privatization, education for those that can afford it, and an emphasis on “practical” education makes the most sense. And when one agenda is pressed it puts pres- sure on the entire balance. Who among us, interested in education for its own sake, hasn't thought a time or the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE| UNIVERSITY SOck aL © ROINTO two that it’s just too damn expensive to learn something that isn’t practical? In all of this it's important to remember that the university itself is not neutral. Students and government may fund that institution that we call “university” but it is driven by professional academics. And anyone who has ever earned a PhD and desired to become a career professor needs students to be able to do that. A few noble intentions aside, the academics who run a university are not primarily interested in providing socially productive programs of study or providing marketable degrees. They are primarily interested in putting students in the classrooms and couldn’t care less what happens to those students once they are done with their degree programs. Anything that contributes to that is fine. The push from within university will always be to become bigger, on whatever basis is most convenient. There is a great deal of value to be found in univer- sity. But you have to look for it. You have to dig for it. And you can't expect it to be delivered to you ona silver plat- ter. The onus is on the student and always has been. Question and be critical of the institution around you. No one is out to get you but also remember that no one is going to worry about your future if you don't. It simply is not good enough to just be here, and do what you are told (or what your friends are doing) and assume that is going to contribute to some vaguely conceived form of success in life. Unless you know why you are here, and what you want, the odds of it accidentally falling in your lap are pretty slim. The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FOLEY administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student life on campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE Jus MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting contributions to education and action in the DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ i : http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ News Bomb Threat at UTSC This past Tuesday, the students of UTSC were evacuated from the school in reaction to a bomb threat that had been received the previous week. While students were not told about the threat, it was treated with all due caution by the administration. The threat was examined by sev- eral experts in bomb threatery, and was deemed to be a hoax. The administration hoped to avoid causing a panic among students, and the evacuation was done as a precaution against rumours that had been going around campus. In an effort to avoid Causing a panic amongst students, the fire alarm was sounded and students were asked to leave the building. Police were on hand in the event that the crowd got out of hand. Principal Paul Thompson assured students in an e-mail that all procedures had been followed, and added that in his 14 years at UTSC he could only remember one other bomb threat. Bomb threats are quite a common occurrence in larger corporations and TTC buildings and experts are available to deal with these mat- ters. Principal Thompson assured the students that these experts were contacted and the university's policy for dealing with bomb threats was followed. He also said that in the event another threat was received, and deemed to be legitimate further action would be taken. As it was, students were given a half hour break from classes to ensure that no one was hurt in the event some sort of panic broke out. The university is examining its procedures; they will be up for review in the near future. Students can read President Thompson’s e-mail, which was sent to all students and administration, by accessing their UTSC e-mail accounts. Wednesday, November 27, 2002 The News In Brief... Market Week. Yay. The SCSU’s market week finally ended last Friday. The SCSU rented spaces in the meeting place to corporations so they could hawk their wares. It began with Perrier making sure that UTSC students know that them there bottles is now made of plastics, not glass. It carried on to include companies selling student vacations, credit cards, and cellular phones. All this dumped upon a susceptible crowd of university-aged consumer-whores, who greedily applied for credit cards to get the free Christmas ornament gifts. The corporations no doubt made more than enough money to pay for the Meeting Place space they rented. Thank you SCSU for selling student consciousness and awareness to these fine companies. | like Peas and Carrots. Last Friday night, at the AMSS's Glow party, after several trips to the “licensed area,” it was decided tat SCSU representative Jon Agg was the sexiest man in Scarborough. “The News In Brief..." is compiled by The Underground's new News Editors, Gordon Lane and Dan Sharpe. Hart House East Common Room St George campus, 7 Hart House Circle 4:300m-5:30pm — Coffee/Tea Service staff) 5:30pm-6:45pm — Assembly meeting Followed by the party: 6:45pm-9:00em and wine, will be served compliments of APUS! campuses are welcome. (new Class Reps are encouraged to come early to ask questions and meet APUS executives and Finger food and refreshments, including beer All part-time undergraduates from all three U of T Arts Wednesday, November 27, 200 The Ballet Creole performs at UTSC Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief Last Wednesday night the Meeting Place was filled with sound and life. More than 300 students, staff, faculty and members of the surrounding com- munity took seats in the atrium for a performance by the Toronto-based Afro-Caribbean percussion and dance ensemble Ballet Creole. Due to an over- whelming demand, the Pay-What-You- Can tickets were available by reservation only, through the Cultural Affairs Office. The evening was a presentation from the Cultural Affairs Music Committee's Music of All Latitudes Series, and in keeping with the showcase’s focus it was a lively night highlighting music with a world theme. The Ballet Creole has been active on the Canadian dance scene since the early 1990s, presenting a unique fusion of African and Caribbean traditional and contemporary percus- sion, choreography and costume. Last Wednesday's programme __ included percussion and dance pieces with ori- gins and inspiration from Nigeria, Haiti, Ghana and many other regions of Africa and the Caribbean. The dance often reflected deeply spiritual origins, as was demonstrated by the fervent and ecstatic shaking of the dancers’ bodies. The drumming itself lent a special power to the dance, as the dancers and drum- mers worked in unison to bring the stage to life. The crowd watched with awe, and only faltered slightly when the perform- ers tried to encourage audience partici- pation. The seasoned stage-veterans, however, never missed a beat. Cultural Affairs’ Leah Takata declared: “The evening was an absolute success!” And indeed it was. In my opinion, this event could only have been better had it taken place in a venue with better acoustics. The pounding drums were hampered by the Meeting Place’s loft and concrete structure. Nonetheless, the crowd gave a round of enthusiastic applause to Ballet Creole, and the per- formers promised to return again soon. Professor Lora Carney had some hope- ful words for the audience during her introduction, saying that by this time next year events such as this would be held in the ARC’s brand new, state-of-the-art, 500-seat, lecture/concert hall. Whenever the new auditorium is ready, the Ballet Creole’s return engagement will be an event you definitely won't want to miss. Afro-Caribbean Beats in the Meeting Place 2 John Mayer gushes for fans at Kool Haus “Canada! I want you sooooo bad!” f http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 9 by Matt Capper If | were to ask you six months ago who John Mayer was, chances are you would not have had the slightest idea. It wasn’t until his recent hit “No Such Thing” that John Mayer was brought into the spotlight of the Canadian music industry. The song has been played on almost every popular music radio sta- tion and music television channel, he was nominated for best newcomer at last years MTV music awards, and on Tuesday he took the stage Toronto’s Kool Haus. It was a sold out all-ages show and one of the only Canadian stops in Mayer’s tour. The Connecticut local took the stage to the roar of the select few Canadian and American fans that were fortunate enough to acquire tickets to the show. He amazed the crowd with his guitar skills, his great sense of humor and his vocal abilities. Making sure to interact with the crowd Mayer told a few short stories and jokes and was amazed when a woman's bra, “suddenly appeared” on the stage. Mayer played songs from his new CD, Room for Squares, and his debut release, Inside Wants Out, being sure to include various tidbits of songs such as Cindy Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. All in all, John Mayer and his open- ing act, Andy Stachansky, put on a great show and no doubt both are welcome back in Toronto anytime. In the words of John Mayer, “Canada is like one of those people who you meet and you just know you want to be friends with them. It's like, “man they're so cool!!! | want to be their friend”. And Canada that’s what | want. Just on a, you know? larger scale. Canada, | want you soooo00 bad!!!” Reviews The Underground : Bond keeps things interesting Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Die Another Day Directed by: Lee Tamahori Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Judi Dench, John Cleese, Rosamund Pike Rating: * *& *& When reviewing a James Bond movie there is an odd standard to consider. All Bond movies follow a practiced formula of explosions, beautiful women, interest- ing villains, sweet cars, double-crosses, smooth puns and sexual innuendos. If you're a fan of all these things you gen- erally enjoy a well-executed Bond movie. After 40 years and 20 movies however it’s understandable that a lot of people are getting tired of the 007 series’ pre- dictable nature. Thankfully, Die Another Day not only does a good job pleasing fans of the series with all the requisite components listed above, but is also fresh enough to keep the more discern- ing action fans pleased. Die Another Day begins in a seem- ingly traditional manner: deep in a hostile territory we join 007 on assignment as he makes a spectacularly unconventional (yet still somehow covert) entrance. This time Bond is breaking up an illegal diamond/arms deal in the demilitarized zone of North Korea (which fills the con- venient role of ‘evil country’ in this install- ment). However, something goes wrong, Bond, is betrayed and captured after an exciting chase scene. Throughout the usual psychedelic opening credits sequence that follows, we see Bond sub- jected to 14 months of torture during his incarceration. Bond is eventually freed but finds himself stripped of his agent status and detained by MI6. When he escapes, Bond's mission is no longer for Queen and country, it’s for revenge upon his mysterious double-crosser. Bond's dark and vulnerable character creates a refreshing scenario for the first half of the movie as he moves about on his own without the benefit of fancy equipment, following his own investiga- tion. Still, he maintains his cool head and unflagging swagger throughout. Brosnan maintains his usual capable performance of the cocky hero, keeping the traditional persona throughout the changes. The dark motif doesn’t endure how- ever and as the plot becomes more revealed we see a return to traditional Bond antics of globe trotting and villain thwarting. This is, of course, inevitable, as it is required to keep Bond supplied with the fast cars, tuxedos and gadgets that are a necessary staple in his movies. Still, the starting twist gives a good early push to build interest. The film is then carried by the strength of its new characters. The newest Bond girl Jinx (Halle Berry) is a spirited, capable agent operating inde- pendently of Bond and meant to give him a run for his money. Already set to get her own spinoff movie, Jinx’s character provides a spicy, American action hero- ine that would have been more effective if | could stand the actress portraying her. Still, the character provides a nice contrast to the opposing Bond girl One More Heartbroken ‘Apes’ Fan Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor Bowling For Columbine Written, Directed and Starring Michael Moore Also starring: Charleton Heston, Dick Clark, George “Dubya” Bush, and the lovely town of Sarnia, Ontario Rating: * * *%* * 10 Ever since | saw it for the first time in grade 11, the original Planet of the Apes has been my favorite film. | always liked the fact that it had this B-movie sensibil- ity while still commenting on issues like racial prejudice and nuclear disarma- ment. Not to mention the fact that it’s a movie about a society of apes trying to keep down Moses himself: Charleton Heston. I've thought this for years. That is, until | saw Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Moore's film has garnered atten- tion and accolades world-wide since its showing at Cannes this year, as well as for being the first documentary to com- pete in that festival's main competition. The film is a scathing look at the prac- tices and attitudes of (mostly) Americans towards the issue of guns and gun control. Some might remember Michael Moore as the director of two Rage Against the Machine videos; “Sleep Now in the Fire”, which featured Moore and the members of Rage attempting to storm the New York Stock Exchange, as well as “Testify”, which was a com- mentary on the lack of real choice in the Bush/Gore election. Moore also created and hosted a (now cancelled - surprise) show called “The Awful Truth”, which was basically Moore using any and all means necessary (often with humorous results) to blow the whistle on corporate crimi- nals. The portly, always scruffy Moore always conveys the image of the work- ing-class layman, but behind that exterior is a fierce social and political critic who utilizes his own unassuming appearance to catch his adversaries off-guard. This film calls into question every- thing you've heard from Dubya or any other American official in history. You'll never think about 9/11 or the “War on Terror” in the same way again after hear- ing the facts that Moore presents. Which brings me back to Mr. Heston. Insofar as this movie has a main antagonist (there are many — no one person is responsible for the ign’ance of the United States), it is Charleton Heston. He’s Moses, he’s Captain Taylor, he’s the leader of the NRA: a group that held a rally in Columbine shortly after the school shoot- ing and pleaded with its citizens to oppose gun control; a similar rally was held after an incident in Littleton, Colorado which saw a 6 year old boy shoot another child in class, setting a dubious record for the youngest school shooting in history. What will probably shock you most is the interview that Moore has with Heston towards the end of the film, in which Moses proclaims that the reason that there are so very many gun deaths in the United States is because of the many different ethnicities in the country. Which is about the time I'm imagining the pile of burning “Planet of the Apes” cassettes and comics in my backyard. On the flip side, Moore succeeds where many have failed - he makes Marilyn Manson sound like the most rational person in the whole country. Manson's ideas provide the Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike), a cold and serious MI6 agent/sword fighter who's assigned to work with Bond. Both characters prove to be more interesting then most recent Bond girls and present a nice opposition. The villains also proved more inter- esting this time around. The horribly disfigured henchman Zao (Rick Yune) is an intimidating and competent villain that actually proves to be one of Bond’s more resilient foes. The flamboyant and obviously unbalanced Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens) provides Bond with a challenge of his own fashion: an adven- turous and daring Brit who refuses to back down. They might not prove to be classic or memorable, but for their part they provide interesting foils throughout the movie. The rest of the movie is only high- lighted by the regular conventions that usually determine the success of a Bond movie. The action is solid, with an excel- lent battle between heavily armed cars that seems like a scene taken straight out of a Twisted Metal game. Aside from a few weak one-liners the movie maintains that classic Bond style and wit that keeps things amusing. In the end Die Another Day stands out just enough to be memorable as a Bond movie and serves as an above average action flick for fans of the genre. backbone, almost a thesis for the rest of the film. His ideas almost make too much sense. Like him or not, Manson's onto something in his explanation of American insensitivity. As | realize that the echo of Heston’s words, “from my cold, dead hands” will reverberate in my brain for weeks and months to come, I’m somewhat taken aback. There are some scenes in this film that are truly horrifying, and not because of gratuitous gore or heart-stop- ping sound effects and no, there’s not a single hockey mask to be found. Moore's film will terrify you because it is real, despite what your better judgment says about the logic behind handing out guns ina bank. Forget The Ring, Bowling For Columbine gets my vote for the scariest movie of the year. Which is not to say that there’s not some hilarious moments in this film. You'll laugh out loud at Moore’s South Park-esque version of US History for days. | implore you, whatever your politi- cal beliefs - even if you have none - see this film. It’s the voice of dissent that you never get to hear on CNN, or anywhere outside of an IDS lecture for that matter. And in an American society where Bill Maher can be taken off the air for not jumping on the “let's demonize Afghanistan” bandwagon right after 9/11, | don’t think you'll get to hear it for very long. Damn dirty apes indeed. ee UL ee http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/* ae | Bie sipsals Wednesday, November 27, 2002 =... ea Wednesday, November-27; 2002 Positive space campaign is back But UTSC is still hostile to queers Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief Last year UTSC kicked off the Positive Space Campaign. Staff, students, faculty and community members were invited to join the campaign to make UTSC free of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or identity. In the year that has passed since the campaign’s intro- duction, the Positive Space emblem, a rainbow triangle, has been posted on the doors of many rooms and offices at UTSC, but until just a few weeks ago, the campaign seemed to have been limbo. Early this month, the committee was reinstated when Professor Ron Smyth was appointed as the new chairperson of the Positive Space Committee. The stagnancy of the initiative had proved to be very frustrating for many queer-identified students at UTSC. “I doubt students know what ‘Positive Space’ is.” said Brian, one of the chief organizers for LGBTQ@SC (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer at Scarborough Campus) students’ group. “| see no difference in [the community's level of awareness.] There wasn't any open discussion of LGBTQ issues last year, by any faculty or students, nor [has there been] any this year.” Most LGBTQ students are hopeful that with Smyth’s appointment, and a renewed commit- ment from UTSC’s administration, the Positive Space Campaign may actually make progress this year. UTSC's Positive Space steering- committee had been floundering since the abrupt departure of its chair-person this past summer. Without a chair, the committee could not meet, make rec- ‘ommendations, or accomplish anything in an official capacity. Principal Paul Thompson made the announcement of Smyth's appointment on November 4. In an e-mail to the College, Thompson explained that Smyth, an Associate Professor of linguistics and psychology, will act as the committee’s chair and as the principal's “advisor on creating a positive space (a positive environment for all faculty, staff and students regard- less of sexual orientation)’. The e-mail also appears to give Professor Smyth carte-blanche to institute new policies at this college. Specifically, the e-mail States that Smyth should “engage in any programming that he deems useful.” Such a whole-hearted endorsement of the committee’s mandate might prove to be just what UTSC needs in order to get on track with respect to “creating a more _ inclusive community.” In the meantime, the LGBTQ@SC student group has continued to meet with problems on campus. Their posters and flyers are frequently ripped or defaced with hate graffiti, The group continues to meet on a weekly basis, but the meetings are closed to the general public. Many group-members remain “closeted”. Others fear that openly posting the times and locations of their meetings would invite trouble from “homophobes”, rang- ing from verbal harassment to physical assaults. This fear seems legitimate given the prevalence of racist, homo- phobic and hetero-centric graffiti found all over UTSC. There is a latent sense of hostility in the hallways of this school. “I get stickers ripped off my locker and our posters get ripped down as soon as they go up... | hear ‘faggot’ in the hall- ways all the time.” says a student, who wished to remain anonymous. The rainbow-triangle stickers and posters all over UTSC might be mis- leading at first glance. Some offices on campus bear the insignia of Positive Space without much awareness of the issues surrounding LGBTQ. Prominent offices such as the Women’s Centre bear the Positive Space logo, with little attention to what the campaign is actually about. Associate Principal of Student Affairs, Tom Nowers, has been working to ensure that all departments and staff that fall under the auspices of Student Affairs (ie. Health and Wellness; Advising, Career and Student Success; Physical Education and Athletics; etc.) receive sensitivity and awareness training. “It is an educative process,” Nowers said, “Until society- at-large changes; the laws of the land governing marriage, same-sex rights and common-law relationships change, we will always be educating those who enter our universities every year from an environment largely and genuinely igno- rant of the LGBTQ realities.” Even so, the queer community at UTSC continues to suffer without a centralized office for LGBTQ resources and programs while such an office does exist on the St. George campus. While many of the services offered downtown are avail- able at UTSC, the resources here are diffusely located and difficult to access unless one knows where to look. This is particularly troubling to LGBTQ@SC organizers. Queer students can receive direction to helpful resources through the office of Student Affairs or the SCSU. These offices can be valuable sources of information, but for those who are not openly “out”, it may be difficult or uncomfortable to speak about their prob- lems and needs in such places, espe- cially when there are no queer-identified staff members. “I! think the SCSU is defi- nitely more approachable this year. Last year, | would never have gone to the SCSU for queer stuff... Mainly because the previous councils were clearly and unapologetically homophobic,” said one woman, about her experiences with the student union. The consensus among LGBTQ students is that the SCSU has been making progress. The union is cur- rently trying to make a space in the new Student Centre for an LGBTQ resources Office. Until then, SCSU and Student Affairs have awarded the LGBTQ@SC group “official club-status”. As such, the SCSU is now able to provide some limited funding for the group's projects. At this time, funding is being arranged for a glass-enclosed bulletin board where the group’s flyers and information can be posted without fear of defacement or tampering. This project is expected to cost nearly $2000, part of which will be funded through the SCSU, the remainder provided by LGBTQ groups from the St. George campus. It is hoped that the encased bulletin board will offer a com- promise between LGBTQ@SC's request for special permission to post their mate- rials in normally off-limits locations, and the SCSU'’s desire to treat all student clubs and groups equally. Not everyone is Satisfied with the designated LGBTQ bulletin board. Some students have anad_a pa Into tne On torn down, it's hardly Positive Sp been concerned that the bulletin board is only a quick-fix, and that more sig- nificant changes are needed to address LGBTQ equity issues at UTSC. The fact that a bulletin board designated for LGBTQ materials needs to be encased in glass in order to prevent defacement or vandalism of posters speaks to the continuing hostility directed at queer stu- dents on campus. Other “positive space” signs have been encased in plastic and drilled into the concrete walls, next to the H-Wing cafeteria for example. Equity issues at UTSC continue to simmer, thus far without any semblance of resolution. Graffiti and harassment continues at a rate unchanged since Positive Space came to UTSC. Growing frustration is obvious among LGBTQ students as they wait for the changes the new Positive Space Committee will initiate. Nevertheless, attitudes are hopeful: The LGBTQ@SC and indi- vidual queer students continue to make LGBTQ issues increasingly visible on campus. Clearly, the campaign to create a campus free from discrimination on the basis of sexual identity is far from over. en the posters have to be encased in plexiglass ace..." http;//www.utse.utoronto,ca/~undergnd/ 41 Life The Underground What UTSC Community? Christian Lucier Life Editor New Year's & Montreal from $229 Quebec City fiom $229 Daytona Beach iiom $199 Panama City Beach irom $299 Acapulco tion $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: a iinroeveenec Uniesm Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max. occupancy. Gall for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking This past semester, the Underground has received numerous letters, rants, and articles concerning the UTSC com- munity. Students such as Carrie Schultz felt the need to address the pointless and boring events SCSU puts on, while others such as The Lord of Darkness focused on the conflicts ethnical diversity has on campus. In all of these pieces a conflict was presented, and in all of these pieces a finger was pointed at the UTSC Community. Having thought about this for quite some time, it dawned upon me why the UTSC Community is facing so many dilemmas. We, the student body, do not have a community. We just think we do and criticize it. This may seem like some kind of radical epiphany, but it has merit, trust me... There are two definitions of com- munity that | want you, the readers, to think of when | use the term: |) a group of people having common interests, and Il) a'group of people living in the same locality and under the same government. Neither of these definitions fully applies Joseph L. Rotman School of Management University of Toronto to UTSC. To begin, UTSC is not a whole. Ever take a waik through the Meeting Place? This area is a sea of clubs Isolat- ing themselves in their secluded sections of tables. | seriously think there is a club for each student at this campus. At UTSC we have an Afghan Student Body, a Muslim’s Student Association, a Greek Students Associations, a Hindu Student Council, a Pakistani Student Association, a Catholic League, and let's not forget the infamous United Punk Association. These are not just clubs, groups, and associations. These organizations are beliefs, interests, and most importantly, ways of life. In fact, each of these cliques is a community on its own. The problem with all of these groups is that they make it impossible for UTSC to have a unified community. What they are doing is pro- moting our differences. | am not Muslim, Pakistani, Hindu, or a firm believer in the punk way of life. Simply put, | ama UTSC student. However, attending this campus takes even this away from me. — UTSC deems me a minority in a land of Rotman Master of Management & Professional Accounting - Designed primarily for non-business undergraduates - For careers in Management, Finance and Accounting - Extremely high co-op and permanent placement To learn more about the Rotman MMPA Program, attend our information session: Thursday, November 28, 2002 11:30am- 1:30 pm Room $403, Council Chambers University of Toronto at Scarborough Please consult our website: www.rotman.utoronto.ca/ mmpa minorities. Don’t get me wrong though. | am not saying that we should abolish all the clubs and become some kind of Aryan Student Body. What | am saying is that a sense of community has never been a possibility for UTSC and further- more,“never will be if things continue as they are. Going back to Carrie Schultz's point about how UTSC never has any good events. This too plays a role in why UTSC does not have a community. In order to have a community you have to have a sense of belonging, and in order to do this you have to establish what it means to be a student at UTSC. There are no events at this campus that stress the previous point. Whenever we do have an event it is for some other reason besides getting to know each other and just having a good time. Case in point, the Glow: [sub] Urban Night Lights dance that took place last Friday. This dance was a part of the Expressions Against Oppression Week. Shannon Flemming and Karen Lackner state that this event is a chance to: “See some of the diverse arts and culture at UTSC.” Good God! Every day | see diverse art and culture at this campus and never get a chance to take it in. UTSC force-feeds its students diversity for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. How in the world are we supposed to achieve a sense of community if all we ever focus on is our diversity? UTSC may never have a com- munity simply because we are UTSC, a lonely satellite rotating miles from home, University of Toronto — St. George Campus. Face it. We are a chapter of the University of Toronto saga, while the St. George campus is the book. It is difficult to create a sense of commu- nity when the real community is located downtown. | am certain that Mississauga feels the same way. This may all sound a bit too harsh, but shit, am | lying? Nope. However, there is hope. There will always be hope. Maybe the powers that be will hear this plea for help, a plea for a sense of belonging and unity, a plea for a UTSC community. Hopefully events will be arranged to pro- mote a UTSC community, as opposed to something less needy. The Attic should be cleaned out and brought back to life. Steady pub nights would certainly be welcomed, where friendly faces can be seen and new ones welcomed. Let's try to transform UTSC from a commuters’ school, a place people leave to return home, to a home away from home. If we don't try to make any changes, UTSC will never break away from its image, that of an over-glamorized high school. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undetgnd/ and we certainly don't try to tell any of you how to throw a pub night (or “multidisci- plinary arts event” - read “rave”)... So what do we have to say for ourselves? Put that in your pipe and smoke it. We did, and then we went to Glow. And we even had fun! Finally, aS an overworked and underslept editor of a student newspaper, | really need to thank the following people, who have contributed, edited, composed, designed, supported, illustrated and basically made this paper happen: Sachin Hingoo, Greg Brown, Keith Friedlander, Michelle Ng, Merika Ramundo, Kelly and Ayshia, James Relunia, Andrew Epstein, Sarah Barmak, Christian Lucier, Meghan Hurley, Chris Moy and everyone else that wrote and wrote and wrote. Special thanks to all those angry letter-writers and to Geoff Micks for leading the revolution. Last but not least, | have to thank a certain professor, without whom | could not possibly be the media-whore that | am today... Mark, thank you. Love, Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief from the Editorial Board, The Underground and its staff... Editorial | Letters Dearest Underground, It's been my esteemed honour to enter this institute of higher learning to discover that the student paper doesnt suck. To the contrary it's most excellent and always a good read for my “there’s nothing to do in this fucking place” moments of boredom. Crashing on a chair in the S-wing and reading the Underground is one of the few pleasant things to do here... So : | commend you kids for producing this thing and for...keeping it real, | know that sounds ridiculous but the Underground generally retains the same complaints and opinions of the student body. When | thought the emer- gence of mighty Tim Hortons was overblown and very meh, the Underground thought so too! Huzzuh! | think the “Drug” issue last month was an absolute stroke of genius, | seriously couldnt have agreed more with the points and articles in that issue. Street Whores on Rez are my new per- sonal heroes...they give me hope that I’m not alone in my spite of many of my peers at UTSC. Also... | would like to declare Sachin Hingoo “coolest motherfucker” on campus. Every piece and opinion I've read by him has been blissfully intelligent, hilarious and honest. | host a show on CSCR, | play indie rock, real alterative and rave music and usually get people popping into the booth with confused looks, UTSC doesn’t seem to dig Bill Hicks, Sigur Ros, Aphex Twin and Ween too much. Either way | proclaim Sachin and the Strees Whores on Rez as Radio Anagrama’s Humans of the Decade. They win a brand new quarter from the show and props from me. ; Keep on Rocking in the Exploited World, | Keep on feeding Sachin DMT and psychadel- ics, To Whom it May Concern: j Last week the Senior Seminar class in Arts ‘ Management held Glow: (sub) urban night lights, a fundraiser to raise money for a newly estab- lished fund for student initiatives. This event was promoted as a multidisciplinary arts event - with body painting, video art, music, and much more. Last week's Underground issue had a very shock- ing and inappropriate statement about Glow. The senior seminar class would like you to review this statement and make a formal apology and publish a retraction in the next issue of the Underground. Though this comment may have been meant as a humourous act, the class put a lot of effort into this project and took it very seri- ously. Sincerely, pert hoe ks. giant The Senior Seminar Class in Arts Management Et A Sage - Mike Wilk (Radio Anagrama, Tues. 4pm on CSCR) Editor’s Note: Aw, shucks Mike. Thanks! But we do regret to inform you that we haven’t heard from the Street Whores in some time. We fear they might have OD’ed... And keep playing techno. You know what momma likes. -Ed. This week's cover artis a painting. Untitled, by J. A. Mason Wi ? Hate our guts?» Wish we were dead? ‘About thavcrtinta i neelce en Mason currently lives in Etobicoke, and works a day-job doing “cont admin work,” because it allows her the flexibility to take time off to on her art. After highschool, Mason dabbled as a professional tenni: umpire, and briefly considered a career therein. She later attended OCAD for three years of the four-year program, and might return to finish it off “if she ever wants to teach.” She is currently at work on commissioned portrait and another series, and plans to explore the themes of Formula One in the near future. While not feeling unduly influenced by any single artist, she admires the work of Rembrandt ant Dali. Plans for next year include a trip to Italy, where Mason's time willl be spent exploring and “soaking up the culture” in Florence. = Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: Editor-in-chief The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room $364 Scarborough, ON MIC 1A4 For more information about the artist, or to find out how to contact the or email ¢_mckinn@hotmail.com with “Opinion” or artist, please email The Underground. “Letter to the Editor” in the subject line. (By the Sepwe're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo a christmas haiku (dedicated to the good folks in 13) Steel Door Champions Orgies and spankings and beer Happy Birthday Christ! “Comments °"~ Lies university told me... Wednesday, December 4, 2002 You'll need that B. Comm. when you're managing a McDonalds Jeff Rybak It is a casual assumption in society that students attend school to earn their degrees and receive the education necessary to do certain jobs. Setting aside that group of students who are attending school merely for the sake of education, most would agree they are in school so they can get good jobs. So it would be absurd to suggest that entire perspective on what's happening at school is somehow flawed, right? But itis. There was a time when students were in school primarily to meet the needs of the jobs they were aspiring towards, but that time has passed. Now students are attending school not to qualify themselves, but to over-qualify themselves, for the positions they want. In the Canadian job market (or the global job market perhaps, since we are becoming a global economy) there are only a finite number of jobs out there, and a whole lot of people competing for those jobs. So regardless of what the minimum qualifications for a given job are, if someone with far more than those qualifications is apply- ing, the person who is merely “qualified” will not get the job. That’s the real world. That’s competition. We have people with. Bachelor's degrees manag- ing a McDonalds. !s that because it takes four years of university to manage a burger place or is that because the person with the degree couldn't get a better job? We have people with Master’s degrees clamouring for entry- level positions in their field. Is that because everyone starts at the bottom? or because six or seven years of university has become the minimum standard to even get a foot in the door? We are tempted to say: “Well, society is complex now, it takes this much education just to learn basic professional skills.” But do we really believe that? Do we believe that someone with a B. Comm.could never get started in the business community? Could never learn and work up the corporate ladder? Do we seriously believe that four years of university is required to manage a burger joint? Or that the high-school dropout on the fry machine couldn't be trained to do the job with some night courses? The fact is we've been tricked into worshipping uni- versity for its own sake while not seeing what it is really here for, and what it is really contributing to. When a whole lot of students graduate from high school they look around and say “well, what jobs can we get?” And seeing their few options, the ones who are able go on to university. After four years they ask the same question. And a “mere” bachelor degree doesn't go far anymore either, so the ones who are able go into post-graduate work. And finally, six, seven, or eight years later, and many thousands of dollars of debt later, the field of com- petition has been narrowed enough that the few survivors might actually find the financial and social rewards at the end of the rainbow. But always remember these students are not working to meet the requirements of the jobs they seek. They are working to outlast one another. They are in an educational arms race the goal of which is to over- qualify themselves for the positions they seek more than anyone else. Now, | think this whole situation is idiotic, personally, but taken on many levels it isn’t that bad. What we are really saying Is that society doesn’t have positions ready for all our young people right away and so they have to stay in school for a while. And that, of itself, isn’t tragic. Especially not when you believe, as | do, that education is valuable for its own sake. Where it becomes a problem is when we consider the huge financial burden of educa- tion today. After three or four years of university, unless one’s parents happen to be wealthy, education has basi- Mr. Lucier, | have to disagree! Andrea Oddie Personally | think that Christian Lucier’s article “What UTSC community” [Vol. 22, Iss. 12] is an interesting, and thought provoking argument. Interesting in the sense that it brings to light issues and viewpoints that may not have been entertained previously. | would however argue that while his opinions are interesting they are inherently flawed. | think that Christian is missing the bigger picture. He argues that there is no community here at UTSC. Why? Because there is no community that he feels he can integrate himself into. That may be true but | don’t think that it is fair to say that there is no community here at UTSC. | see a much larger community at UTSC in which each individual club and organization is woven into a larger, broader community. Each part contributes to the whole, much like individual bodily organs are integrated into a working ‘living’ system. If we superimpose this analogy on the UTSC community the individual organs would be the clubs themselves. Events such as the Fashion show, Cultural Mosaic and Glow would be examples of the working ‘living’ system (ie: larger community) at work. The larger, broader UTSC is a community that acknowledges the diverse nature of the student body and brings them together. These endeavours show us that clubs do not necessarily segregate individuals but rather they serve as focal points that unite us. They represent a chance to explore and to teach others about worlds unknown. Our clubs provide a lifeline to individuals. These clubs also, as Christian points out, form ‘mini’ communities for individuals of a particular background or a particular interest to be a part of. We tend to focus hitbiw_utse utoronto cal-undergndl on cultural clubs here at UTSC but we should not forget that there are many clubs that are formed surrounding particular interests. Case in point: the Chess Club, the Ski Club, Club Med, L’association Frangaise, the Environmental Club, LGBTQ etc. These clubs form communities of individuals from diverse backgrounds that share particular interests rather than a particular faith or ‘ethnic’ background. It should also be noted that if none of these clubs appeal to any particular individual they are welcome to create their own club. The fact is that communities exist in many forms and that it is a conscious choice on the part of an individual as to whether to be a part of a particular community or not. Christian has the option to integrate himself into any number of communities, he chooses not to. Christian believes that “in order to have a sense of belonging... you have to establish what it means to be a student at UTSC.” | am afraid that Christian may feel that this means that in order to create a community here at UTSC we are forced to create a nameless, faceless population. A community then would mean a place that does not acknowledge diversity, which incidentally is impossible to do. We cannot, and should not ignore diversity at UTSC. It is a fact of life. We should welcome diversity, embrace it even, rather than shun it. To not acknowledge diversity would be a crime and more importantly would be a lie. | live in residence here at UTSC and as such | face a diverse group of people each day; namely my housemates. | live with three other people who come from very diverse backgrounds. One is from Taiwan, one is of Jamaican decent, one is from Windsor, and | cally got to pay off somehow in order to justify the cost. And in many cases it does not. Some students inevitably “lose” the educational arms race. Some students find, after three or four years, they don’t have the patience, or the academic aptitude, or perhaps even just the money, to continue. So they take their petty bachelor degrees, and their $20,000 of debt, and they find...what? They find a job temping in some office for $9 an hour. It’s going to take a long time to pay for all that education with an income like that. | don't have an exact solution to propose to fix this situation. This is not one problem but rather a collec- tion of forces all conspiring together to leave studenis in one hell of a crunch. If the job market was stronger, students wouldn't have to compete with each other to such a ridiculous extent to find decent jobs to start their careers. If education didn’t cost so damn much it wouldn't be such a problem if some students worked at it for three or four years and then found it didn't really pay off. Maybe they would go back later. Maybe they would turn to vocational training. It’s the debt that is crippling, not the time invested. If university itself wasn't in such a schizophrenic identity crisis, caught between the needs of turning out students with highly marketable degrees and the original mandate of learning for the sake of learning, it might be easier to confront this problem without all kinds of bullshit obscuring the issues. Finally, as was my point last week, the responsibility is on the student. Don't rely on university to steer you straight. University is selling education, not success. And the blithe assumption that the one equates with the other is where so many students go wrong. Learn about the system now, and be aware of the pressures on it, and work to get what you want out of it. grew up on a rural dairy farm. | would be lying to myself if | honestly believed that somehow each of us were the same. Janine will never be white, and conversely | will never be black. Evelyn will never really understand what a shift from a rural to urban living is like, and | will never know what it is like to be Taiwanese. We acknowledge our differences everyday and yet this has not prevented me from creating a bond with these individuals. Our acknowledgement of our differences has not segregated and separated us. Instead, it has served to bring us closer together. In short, | think that UTSC has a very vibrant, broad community which we are all a part of. While individuals may choose not to integrate themselves into this community (for various reasons), it does not mean that it does not exist. It also does not mean that the community is exclusionary. Many opportunities exist to become a part of this diverse (and dare | say exciting) community. One can become a part of the community on the micro level through the various clubs and associations and at the macro level by being involved in and supporting various inclusionary events such as Glow, Cultural Mosaic and the Fashion Show. (Incidentally | think that Christian's argument at the end of his article concerning UTSC as a satellite campus and an “over-glamourized” high school has merit.....but alas, that is a whole other topic which should be addressed in a separate article. Quite frankly | see this argument as separate from the diversity argument and as such have left out my comments on the matter entirely.) The Undergrouna | Got Lost, I’m Sorry! News The diary of deranged News Editor, Gordon Lane (or, “Why there’s no news in this paper...) No one suspected that the coffee mug | had been drinking out of since noon is actually full of wine. The keen observer might have thought something was odd; one mug, seemingly never empty, being consumed for seven hours straight. Comments in class are slightly offbeat and a bit confused. Questions asked by the professor are answered with a mumble, and the answer was probably erroneous. What kind of student would be drunk at two o’clock in the afternoon, especially consid- ering that said student had two eight-page essays due that same day? Well, that would be the reason. Two cru- cial papers have been handed in, with nothing due the rest of the week. It became a day for art and pleasure. Between one and two o'clock my day was spent shooting pictures in the valley, trying to catch the juxta- position of man and nature. The valley is perfect for this, with its shallow and slowly meandering stream, barely knee-deep, the shore lined with life preservers. How could someone possibly need a life preserver when you can't even lie down and drown? Signs warn against wading in the water, children. A university ecology project is another beautiful pic- ture; chain link fences topped with three rows of barbed wire in the middle of the forest. Needless to say, very few of the pictures are in focus, or even exposed correctiy. But all of this is only a preamble to what was to be experienced, and in a way reflects the asinine behavior of much of the University population. We are dirty and pretentious, with little care for living life in the moment. The end of my last class was at seven o'clock, and by this time | had consumed two bottles of wine, and was working on my third. | met a friend to go downtown to the Arbor Room at the Hart House for WRITuals. Fancying myself a writer, | thought it would be a good idea to see what student writing at UofT was all about. | made a mistake. | am a very angry man, and when drunk the reputation of my heritage precedes me. | am American, of Irish and Scottish descent. There is no shortage of drunken belligerence here. Walking into the Arbor Room | was surprised to find that it was full. It was a stark difference from the average meeting of the UTSC Creative Writing Group, whose weekly attendance is little more than a handful. There is something more real, however, about Scarborough’s small and dedicated group of writers. They want sex and squirrels, death and pleasure. The first poet | heard was in the middle of a poem; a very, very long poem. Having by this time finished my third bottle of wine, | had no patience for such malarkey. | wanted short and charged poems. But instead | got windy, Paris style intellectuals feigning at being impor- tant and successful. With over two liters of wine in my system, | cannot pretend to recall what the poet was talking about, but | do know his words were long, and his voice was emotionless. The poet after him, the only other poet | remember hearing, was much the same. The rest of the night was relayed to me the follow- ing day. With four bottles of wine gone | was refused service at the Bedford Ballroom. | thank them for their good judgment. After that my anger over the pretentious students at the University was channeled into various belligerent acts of random harassment and testing the homophobia levels of a couple of kids. My friend and | talked with a few attendees of the WRITuals readings, and were again confronted with pretentious poet-writers who scoffed at our ideas of art. | don't remember getting lost, but apparently | did. But I'm glad | did; it was a true gonzo experience. Searching for the student's dream | found exactly what the world is made of: Gritless men and women flounder- ing under the weight of their parents’ wallets, attempting to find their true selves in art, but only finding templates to work with. But the desire is there, and maybe one day we will find the way out. Men Stop ‘Once again this week saw the meeting place transformed into a recruitment center. MasterCards and Cell phones, this week a proliferation of clubs were clamouring to obtain students member- ship. The Meeting Place is not used for Meeting, but seems to be focused on gaining student's money and bodies. i Mia ee The News In Brief... Instead of Damn Straight _ I’m Canadian H This week UTSC saw the unveiling of yet another club. The | am Canadian club began operation. The i club celebrates all things Canadian, including a “Canada Day” festival to be held in February. Read their flyer and : it becomes obvious that the | am Canadian club is will- ing to poke fun at themselves as well. After all only in | Canada can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. “The News In Brief..." is compiled by The Underground's crazed News Editors, Gordon Lane and Dan Sharpe. en http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undérgnd/ ~ Feature Wednesday, December 4, 2002 Remembering the Montreal Massacre: National Day of Remembrance and Action in Violence Against Women. Meghan Hurley Thirteen years ago, on December 6, 1989, a young man entered the University of Montreal with a .223 caliber semi-automatic rifle. Targeting female engineer- ing students, he went on a killing spree, murdering 14 innocent women. As a violent protest to women study- ing engineering, a field traditionally male-dominated, deranged Marc Lepine killed these women. Fourteen lives were extinguished in under half an hour by an act of violence that has forever changed our country. The Montreal Massacre was a deliberate blow to the empowerment of women resulting in absolute devasta- tion and worldwide disbelief. While the shock and horror of the Montreal Massacre helped to bring violence to the forefront of public consciousness, violence against women contin- ues to be a widespread, devastating and life-threaten- ing issue. Murders, such as the Montreal Massacre, highlight the larger picture of male domination and violence that confronts women daily. According to sta- tistics on violence against women in Canada, one half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of violence. It must be recognized that women are being violently abused and murdered in Canada at alarming rates. Unfortunately, with the rates of vio- lence against women on the constant rise, it is not far fetched to warn you that the next victim could be your sister, your mother or your girlfriend. With that in mind, someone close to you may, in fact, become part of the statistics of abused or murdered women in Canada. The question of significance is, what can you do to lower these statistics? The response to the Montreal Massacre was a dec- laration by the Canadian Parliament marking December 6 as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against women. December 6 is a day when Canadians can reflect - on actions that can be taken to prevent or eliminate http:/www.utsc.utoronto:ca/~undergndi|' violence against women. Students, staff and faculty are encouraged to talk about issues of violence against women in order to create a heightened awareness within the university community. Inaccurate or demean- ing assumptions about women, which are key stepping stones to violence, should be challenged. If these assumptions are brought out into the open and com- pletely undermined, violence against women will surely decrease because women will no longer be perceived as objects that can be abused, but as human beings. Very important to the eradication of violence against women is that men take part in the fight. This is not only a women's issue, as violence affects us all. Men can sign posters on campus to demonstrate their commit- ment to reducing violence against women. There are a number of possibilities for preventing violence, and these possibilities should be used by everyone as a means of eliminating this epidemic. Associate Dean at the University of Toronto, lan McDonald, has become actively involved in the National Day of Remembrance. He recounts the Montreal Massacre as an “overwhelming experience that did highlight the vulnerability of our campus”. As a result of his memories of this saddening day, McDonald has committed himself wholeheartedly to the cause of com- memorating this day, and raising a consciousness of violence against women. McDonald, along with the help of various organizations on campus, has organized a memorial ceremony which will be held on December 6 in the Leigha Lee Browne Theatre at 10:45 a.m. During the ceremony there will be readings and moving reflec- tions about the Montreal Massacre delivered by various members of the university community. A video excerpt, which McDonald describes as an “incredibly powerful piece”, will be shown during the ceremony of remem- brance, as well. The day of remembrance will be con- cluded with a presentation of fifteen roses, fourteen of which are presented in memory of the women murdered at the Montreal Massacre, and one rose presented to remember all other victims of violence against women. McDonald commented that he is “anxious to make the ceremony more than just a memorial’. The purpose of this ceremony is not only to remember the victims of December 6, 1989, but also to raise an awareness of the issue of violence against women in hopes that people will do what they can to eliminate it. Since stopping violence is the responsibility of all of us, we should be actively involved all year in lowering the statistics of violence against women. Unfortunately, the University of Toronto has done less than would be desirable to lower these statistics. However, what they have implemented at the university has proved to be a success. Services such as a safe room in residence for any student that as been a victim of abuse, school codes of conduct outlining unacceptable behavior, and the on campus police force have greatly contributed to ensuring the safety of all students on campus. In addi- tion to these services, the staff at the Women's Centre are constantly working to improve the condition and status of women at the University of Toronto. As lan McDonald has been the associate Dean of the univer- sity for six years, he has noticed that social attitudes are changing and an increasing awareness of violence against women has made change possible. Increasing acceptance of women entering non-traditional occu- pations, such as law and medicine, has created an atmosphere in which male domination has become less likely. Marc Lepine intended that the Montreal Massacre would terminate the advancement of women in Canada, but he was wrong. Women and men have fought against the epidemic of violence, and have come a significant way in breaking down the barriers that iso- late women as victims. December 6, 2002 December 6" is the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre and the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. og SR eee 10:45 a.m. Memorial, Leigha Lee Brown Theatre 6:00 p.m. Candleli e Campus The. Underground A new movie is coming out from the team that created Being John Malkovich; director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman. Highly acclaimed and nominated for numerous Oscars, Malkovich was a remarkable film debut for Jonze and Kaufman. On December 6 their newest project, Adaptation, star- ring Nicholas Cage, will be released and will prove to be another unconventionally fascinating venture into filmmaking. The movie was originally intended to be a film adaptation of writer Susan Orlean’s best selling non-fiction book The Orchid Thief, which follows the life of John La Roche, an obsessive orchid breeder from the Florida Everglades. However in the process of writing the adaptation Charlie Kaufman came to produce something very different and very unique. Adaptation is the story of Charlie Kaufman (played by Nicholas Cage) as he struggles to turn the tale of La Roche into a meaningful movie treat- ment. Plagued by writer’s block, sexual frustration and the irritating success of his simple-minded twin brother Donald (also played by Cage), Charlie’s frustration eventually forces him to seek out Susan Orlean (played by Mery! Streep), who he discovers is still keeping in contact with La Roche (played by Chris Cooper). At a recent press interview, we had a chance to hear from the minds behind Adaptation, namely Spike Jonze, Charlie Kaufman and Nicholas Cage, as they expounded about the difficulties and quirks of creating such an original and offbeat movie. Many questions were asked as to how close the movie's plot followed the actual events, but as Jonze told us, an essential part of the movie is that ambiguity. “Part of the experience of watching the movie is not knowing where that line is between Susan Orlean, the orchid thief John La Roche, all these things, people and events that are real, really happened and where the fiction is and where the screenwriting took over,” said Jonze. “And | guess our worry is to take away from that experience just by trying to define, as soon as you start to unravel that you start to you take out the context.” Cage’s dual role as the Kaufman brothers proved an interesting challenge, not only technically but in acting. Along with having to perform every scene twice, playing off his other character's recorded performance, Cage explained the diffi- culty of switching between such intense but opposing characters. “Well | think | always identified more with Charlie, so | guess that would be my basis. But the hop-scotch between the two, three or four times a day, did get a little confusing, a little frustrating for me, but | think the main thing was just to try and delineate enough without making them become so separate that it became slapstick or goofy, which it easily could have done with Donald.” Not only was it exhausting switching between characters, but Cage went on to explain the difficulties of trying to portray his own version of Kaufman’s character. “My impression really wasn’t an impres- sion, it was more of a surrealistic inter- pretation or essence, borrowing some of Charlie’s behaviourisms or whatever mental sketch | created when | met him during the interview process,” Cage told Keith Friedlander Arts Editor us. “Spike felt that the Charlie Kaufman on the page cannot be limited just by impression but also open him up to other possibilities, and | think also Charlie felt that way as well.” Jonze elaborated on the added pres- sure that Cage put on himself for fear of being scrutinized by Kaufman. “He’s not playing this Charlie, he’s playing the character on page and the scenes that he’s playing are very in his head and neu- roses and so of course him being in that mindset is only going to be magnified by the fact that Charlie is coming by the set to work with us on a scene, that | asked him to come and listen to the dialogue and see if there’s anything from a particu- lar scene that we’d want to change. So Nicholas would end up taking that as, “oh he’s watching me and...” “...And I’m standing really nervously in the background because I’m trying not to get in anybody's way, so | cer- tainly wasn’t doing any judging,” finished Kaufman. While talking about Charlie’s charac- ter and the issues of the overtly neurotic interpretation, the subject of Kaufman’s writer’s block was brought up. “I! can't really give any advice, | can just say what works for me is that | try to let go of my expectations of where I’m going with something and try to see if some- thing else opens up. | find that if I’m very ridgedly directed it’s not a good way for me to work and | tend to get lost.” With such extraordinary movies to begin their film careers, it was asked how difficult it is for Jonze and Kaufman to get their movies funded and what difficulties they had with their employers. “The first Neuroticism, sexual frustration ..and twins Jonze, Kaufman and Cage talk about Adaptation movie [Malkovich] was definitely harder because we hadn’t made a movie before and it was harder to get it approved, and we had to make it very small,” began Jonze. “In this one because, fortunately enough, that [Ma/kovich] had the suc- cess that it did it was easier. This one was also easier because the woman who runs the studio she read the script and really related, really loved the script and the writing. But she loved the script and she was really supportive of it through- out the process, and we were lucky in that way too. And that means also that we had to make this movie in a modest way.” “And | think we like making movies in a modest way. It’s like the lower the budget the less they have to worry about so they give you more,” said Kaufman. “And it can be a success on its own terms instead of being a number one box office movie, which doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to be any good,” Jonze added. Adaptation is certainly going to be one of the most unique movies of the year. As Charlie's character moves through the issues encumbering his writ- ing, he comes to confront the mental bar- riers we all must face in searching for our desires in life. Kaufman’s writing moves through perspectives, layers of meaning and through the line of fact and fiction to present a complex story of the most simple and sensible of morals. Brought to life by Cage’s dynamic performance and Jonze’s beautiful and affective style, Adaptation is will interest and fascinate audiences this December. Adaptation opens in limited release on December 6, 2002. http:/www-utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ - Reviews Wednesday, December 4, 2002 It’s a Wonderful Poop Joke Andrew C. Epstein Staff Writer Film: Adam Sandler’s 8 Crazy Nights Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schnieder, Kevin Nealon, and Jon Lovitz Rating: Alright, I’m going to keep this one short, because unfortunately this film doesn't really deserve too much. |'ll start by saying that if you are a fan of Adam Sandler like | am, please don’t go see this film, it will only mar your appreciation of a great talent who has accomplished both deep and shallow roles. 8 Crazy Nights, Sandler's first ani- mated feature, takes on the form of a satirical /t’s a Wonderful Life where the film follows the story of Davey Stone (Sandler). Davey is a former child bas- ketball star who lost his parents in a car crash on the night of his big game. Davey spirals through foster homes and in his adulthood has become a drunken asshole that hates everybody including himself. But most of all, Davey hates the holidays, so he harasses the town, destroys public property, makes kids cry etc. There are laughs in all this mischief, but they aren't big ones. They might make you chuckle, but not for very long, and not in repetition. Sandler relies on the ideas that he’s already used more Sigur Ros ... living up to the hype Mike Wilk Review: Sigur Ros — Massey Hall, October 30" 2002. _ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ effectively in films like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, and it doesn't pay off. The rest of the humour revolves around a deformed little man named Whitey (also voiced by Sandler) who takes on the role of Davey’s saviour. Whitey has a sister Eleanor (Sandler again) who is a shut-in obsessed with a man who stole her Elizabeth Taylor wig 50 years ago. It’s between these two characters that the most effective laughs come from. Eleanor and Whitey are both eccentric enough together to create gen- uine humour, and not simply go for the poop joke or sex innuendo (don't get me wrong | liked when Sandler did all those things before, but they're far beyond worn out in this film). But that’s as good as it gets, and that’s certainly not enough to make this film enjoyable. Believe it or not, this film is actually a musical. Most of the songs don’t rhyme, and the best joke in any of them is when Davey wonders aloud if the Jon Lovitz character, who has a hook for a hand, has ever wiped himself with the wrong hand accidentally (“Yes”). | However, the film becomes confusing at this point. Most of the songs, along with the most sentimental parts of the film come dis- guised as cozy holiday schlock. But it’s almost a parody of itself. The problem is you can't figure out which way the story is leaning. For instance, one song sung by Whitey takes all the brand name stores from the mall and rhymes them together, Hype is a bitch, bands try and shake it off like a wet dog covered in tnud. Sigur Ros is hyped by an army of critics and fans alike, and, much like Radiohead, they affirm their hype in an almost effortless stance. Regardless of all the acclaim, mystique and art-wankery sur- rounding Sigur Ros, they lived up to all the hype at their recent performance at Massey Hall. Coming straight of the hells of their weirdly titled “( )” album, the band hit the stage at Massey Hall to a perfectly typical audience of indie art rockers, who remained utterly in awe and respect throughout the bands nearly two hour performance. At their most direct, Sigur Rés take the best elements of clas- sical music and apply it to a very cold rock aesthetic. They are from Iceland, and while they have adamantly tried to shake off the cliché image of dark, SHUN NTNN along with product shots of all the logos. Was this product placement a joke about the commercialization of Christmas, or was it just a cash grab? Even though this film seems to be to leaning towards the parody of cheesy holiday movie, it also seems to embrace that very cheesiness, as the film ends with Davey redeemed, and Whitey’s dreams realized. Oh yeah, and Davey gets back together with his childhood sweetheart who didn't share more than four lines of dialogue with Davey the entire film. | don’t know where this fits in but in conclusion | just want to mention one more scene. This is because | want you to avoid seeing it because | sure wish | had. Gross-out stuff can be funny in desolate snowcaps and barren Icelandic land as the imagery to their sound, its undeniably hard when their music is so beautiful yet unfamiliar and otherworldly. The band performed a few fan favorites from their 2000 release Agaetis Byrjun, as well as nearly all of the new record. There was very little room for criticism of their performance as all the songs were replicated note-perfect from the album version, but with an added haunting bril- liance of their live presence and sound. As soon as lead singer Jonsi Birgisson Struck the first few vocal notes of opening song Vaka (also known as “Untitled 1”), the precedent was set for the incredible voice the man has, the voice which truly had neck hairs raising and the audience shivering. While Jonsi’s vocals are all in Icelandic or his own gibberish language, Hopelandish, there was still a distinct the right context but | don’t think this film really has one. In this scene Davey has just pushed a port-o-potty with Whitey inside over a hill. Whitey is now covered in shit, and Davey decides to spray him with water to freeze him in an icy shell of human filth. Davey leaves him and Whitey is stuck in that spot until nightfall. Then he sees some friendly reindeer that attempt to free him by licking the ice until it melts. But wait, you think, isn’t that frozen shit? You get your answer when one of the reindeer turns to the camera and smiles to reveal that it has a rather large amount of feces just dripping from its mouth. If you want to see Adam Sandler at his best, go see Punch-Drunk Love instead of this... thing. vibe of heartbreak, and anger that was Carried over to the audience in the man’s amazingly versatile voice. Understanding lyrics was simply not necessary. The show continued on with the band eventu- ally building to the end of their set with some of their best material: the final two untitled tracks from “( )” which show- cased how the band can shift gears from a quiet lovelorn balladry to avalanche- inducing chaos and noise, yet while containing the song with a structure. As a Critic it’s in ones best interest to find fault, but this was without the shadow of a doubt one of the best live performances I've ever viewed. Living up the hype, and affirming the audience's hopes, surpass- ing all preconceived ideals of how beauty could coexist in loud, dark music, Sigur Ros did it all. Groundworks Wednesday, December 4, 2002 aroundworks Naturally Conformed Holly Cousineau Blinding me again, cyclical as it is. Soft, smooth, smoth- ering light, streaming, dazzling. Entice the growth, enlighten the world, beautifully and naturally. Sparkles all around, twinkling. So precious ( gentle rustle) Death covering youth, youth so near, so far, removing the scars of the old. ( a car roars nearby) Disturbances of a natural world. Grass grows through concrete. Trees grow in Perfect rows. The wind abates everything. Shadows illuminate the world (trees are felled and planked)Fences border a perfect ambiance of nature and real estate, (children laugh) chills run through me. Shrubs struggle against wooden shackles to grow crooked. Conformity is everywhere, flies buzz, birds sing, cats prowl, its alive. The wind carries an angry scent, a tree is burnt, the old grass Is scorched, it is ugly. Motionless, sitting. The dead grape vine whines for freedom against its white confinement too. A yard, a durance for plants and trees. Blindingly red, reflections of gold shimmer on an artificial pond in an artificial world indulged in the superficial, nature is a prisoner. A tree is light, light is in the tree. Hair flows, like a murky pond, natural.( Children laugh, artificially) Chills resonate throughout, hairs stand on end, trees sigh in the wind, the wind sighs too. The warmth dies away, the cold awaits the sweetness. Creamy arsenic sneaks around the corner. Death. Life, manufactured dignity. Natural abomination, mutation, the perfect mix. A beautiful view. Yellow, sickly, so unwanted, green, fertile, so requested. Stainless, white picket fence, pride and honour. Weeds infiltrate and attack. (beauty is the asset, unwanted invader) The green diminishes, the concrete grows. (motors flatten the hills into straight paths) A fly alights on the white and corrodes away to nothing. Blades tremble in the wind, it whispers, it ripples, it sees all. It feels the hardness of the wall it cannot move. No fear is felt, flies entice the fear, a spider, so ugly, so unwanted, so helpful, destroys the fear and brings the rain. The chill is born. Change of season Aisha Bukhari Dry leaves blow, rustling along the road Cold wind gushes, as green turns yellow Sun sets earlier : and there is first fall of snow Nights become darker, days become dimmer hope begins to falter as winter takes its hold. Logs keep burning, warm and bright throughout the winter throughout the night Finally sun gets bold and takes back its hold snow melts away birds arise To find their gardens coming back to life leaves sprout, and buds blossom fragrance and joy commences spring haseddl pases SH falls striae een ectees ne http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 11 ty Tt he-Underground | . Life 12 Christian Lucier Life Editor The other day, | read a very interest- ing article in the Toronto Star by Mary Duenwald. It was about how optimism and positive thinking could lead to lon- gevity. The article focused on a number of research studies that held fascinating results. There were two specific studies that caught my interest. In 1975, a group of 660 people over 50 years of age, were given a series of questions. The majority of the questions pertained to how the participants viewed aging. Do you feel more emotionally stable each year? Is your will to live decreasing as you age? Then in 1998, researchers went to check up on the par- ticipants. Surprisingly, those who held a positive view of aging lived on average an extra 7.5 years then those who held a negative attitude towards aging. Another experiment the article focused in on was a study at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. A psychiatrist named Toshihiko Maruta reviewed some psychological tests that were conducted in the early 60’s. There were 800 people who participated. After reviewing the tests, Maruta concluded that 197 of the participants were pessimistic. Maruta then checked on these 197 participants to see how they made out. It turned out “that the pessimists had a risk of death for any given year that was 19 per cent greater then the average.” In her article, Duenwald also touches on the relationships between longevity and the amount of control people have over their lives. Deunwald states that research has shown that “people who are relatively more depressed, hostile or anx- ious are unlikely to live as long as others.” The opinion of Dr. Carolyn Aldwin, a pro- fessor of human and community devel- opment at the University of California is mentioned in the article. According to Deunwaid, Dr. Aldwin believes that we are better off if we do not get into situations where we are emotionally unstable. All this information brought to mind university and the upcoming midterms/ finals. University and exams in general are incredibly strenuous on the body. | cannot count the times a classmate has said to me, “I am going to flunk this test” or “Now that | have handed that paper Crunch Time Crescendo in, | never want to see it again.” The truth is, university pulls and stretches the emotional stability of the student. Sure we have our stress-free times, but for the most part, the average student is on an eight-month emotional roller coaster. With all the previously mentioned tests and experiments, | began to think whether university is good for the body and I’ve come to the conclusion that it probably isn’t. Personally, when | have a huge test/exam the following day or have to hand in something worth a consider- able portion of my grade, | feel uneasy. | tend to question my work and wondering if there is anything else | should be doing. Anxiety haunts me, which tends to cause a high stress level. Stress is not the only factor that is associated with university. Often, uni- versity and its burdensome workload can foster a pessimistic attitude towards life. | often feel like | want to just “live” my life as opposed to being a student who has to continue learning. Ironically, at times | feel like university is holding me back. Spontaneity is generally not a possibility when attending university. The average student has a million responsibilities which tend to consume the majority of his or her time. As well, this particular time of the school year generates a very negative attitude towards life. The end of November and beginning of December is what | like to call the “What’s The Use” period. We all have huge projects that all seem to be due on the same day, as well as midterms/finals are looming around the corner. The average univer- sity student feels like giving up due to the immense workload that is weighing him or her down, and the biggest fear of all is failure. | will put forth the following question: “Is University harmful to the body, when taking to consideration the high levels of stress and negativity that is often associ- ated with academia?” Due to the infor- mation provided above, | am going to say yes. However, university is and always will be good for the mind and the intellect in particular. So, during crunch time this year, try not to push the limits, for you might actually be right when you Say that, “School is killing me this year.” a http:www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life x SANTA IS DEAD (veluT@ __ Avo ) Wednesday, December 4,,2002 “Five Weeks of No Techno Makes” Sachin Hingoo “Go Crazy” So once again this article is not only short but half-assed, since for the second time this term I’ve stayed up all goddamn night suffering through the goblins and working on a paper, only to find out that | can hand it in no less than six days late (Monday) with no penalty. | am, as Limp Bizkit deigns to constantly remind me, a chump (hey!). Achump. So, you know, cut me a little slack. It's the Christmas season again, and for yet another year, it seems to be so much more trouble than it’s worth. All of this is pretty cliché at this point, but | still think it's ludicrous to spend upwards of three weeks (or in my case, three days) shopping with money you don't have, just so someone gets to unwrap something unwanted on December 25. In short, Eatons’ (or the Bay’s, | can’t remember) “Spirit of Giving” campaign is total bullshit. Talk to me about “The Spirit of Giving” when you're in line at the Eaton Centre, bat- tling your way through housewives and their screaming spoiled-ass children in order to get that last generic scented candle for that one, or two, or twenty people on your list that you just can’t find anything for. This is on top of the fact that you've just come off three weeks of exams, and this day at the Eaton Centre is your ‘downtime’. Why don't they, just for one year, put me into their Christmas ad campaign, red-eyed and half-crazy from a combination of frustration and whiskey, kicking the shit out of a five year old kid that’s in desperate need of a muzzle? Because they're scared, that’s why. They don't want to remind you that Christmas is, for many people, essentially a month- long chore, a month-long weight on their mind. Santa died a long time ago, friends. The Spirit of Giving is more like a defi- ciency of spirit as we go through the motions: Christmas shopping, the lineup at the wrapping booth (or worse, trying and failing to wrap your purchases yourself, then lining up at the wrapping booth), and finally, the big payoff — that fake smile on your friend’s face as she says, “Oh yeah...| really need one of these ‘meditation rocks.” Fifty bucks well spent. | don't even need to be writing that this is coming off like Pessimist-palooza, and I'd love to chalk it up to my normally nihilistic attitude or even exam stress, but | can't. | really want to feel good about Christmas like | did when | was a kid, but it seems so much harder now for some reason. | think we'd all like to look at Christmas through those eyes again, but the mere thought of navigating a mall with an exam-frazzled brain is not my idea of fun, especially since | could be using that time to frazzle my brain in other ways. So friends, | propose a new way to celebrate the holidays, one that should become an institution around the world, and that is the celebration that occurred on rez last Saturday night. Think of it: a whole global community joined together (so to speak) by spankings, exhibition- ism, bondage, a few daisy chains, and a few more golden showers, all ending with some unabashed and completely senseless violence. Now that’s what | call Christmas. And as you read this, (yeah, I’m talk- ing to you) getting your trusty red pen out to circle all of the things in this little rant that peeved you, please remember just one thing: Spell and grammar-check that angry letter before you send it to Chris. He's a stickler for that stuff. See you in January. the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE | UINGL VAEIRES Ie Ya © Het O RO INUEO ey a . ¢ UTAA The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FoLey QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, _ http:/Avww.utsc:utoronto:ca/~undergnd/ administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student life on campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMoRIAL HUMAN RIGHTs PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monbay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca 13 The Underground Life || Like Jesus Or what do you do with a drunk Satan's Bakesale | like Jesus... really | do. Most people wouldn't believe me when | say that. The fact is that Jesus and | don’t really agree on much. His ideas and theories don’t gel with the way | live my life. But that’s ok, because you're allowed to disagree with people, even if they supposed to be the son of god. However | like Jesus simply because even though his ideas are different from mine, all he really seemed to want was for people to get along. Jesus wouldn't shun people who were considered outcasts like lepers and prostitutes. No, Jesus was a giver, and he wouldn't dream of making anyone an outcast. No | like Jesus, but I'm pretty sure that Jesus hates all of you. Seriously now, as his birthday approaches Jesus is probably out there wishing that he’d never been born, then died, then born again, because most people who claim to be his follow- ers, don’t seem to be following his principles very well. I’m not going to go into a speech about all the atrocious events throughout history that have been carried out in this man’s name. But | will just say that after he saw the amount of people that were brutally tortured or killed because they did not praise his name, he’s probably wonder- ing why he sacrificed himself for such a barbaric race. Even today people who claim to be disciples of Christ are the performers of some pretty un- Christ like activities. The worst part is that many of the people who are doing these things are considered to be great authorities on Jesus and his teachings. Rev. Jerry Falwell preached to his followers that AIDS was mercifully sent down to Earth from God in order to cleanse the planet of homosexuals. Oh and here’s what he said after September 11". “We have sinned against Almighty God, at the highest level of our government, we've stuck our finger in your eye,” said Robertson. “The Supreme Court has insulted you over and over again, Lord. They've taken your Bible away from the schools. They've forbidden little children to pray. They've taken the knowledge of God as best they can, and organizations have come into court to take the knowledge of God out of the public square of America.” Here’s what his friend Pat Robertson (host of the TV show “The 700 Club” and modern Christian icon) had to say in response. “We have sinned against Almighty God, at the highest level of our government, we've stuck our finger in your eye. The Supreme Court has insulted you over and over again, Lord. They've taken your Bible away from the schools. They’ve forbidden little children to pray. They’ve taken the knowledge of God as best they can, and organizations have come into court to take the knowledge of God out of the public square of America.” Judge not lest ye be judged? Is that not a principle that is supposed to be upheld in Christianity? If so then that means that many of you are probably more qualified to be spiritual leaders then the actual leaders themselves. To these people spreading the word of Jesus involves hate campaigns and public slander. These people speak for an entire community of people who claim that this is what Jesus wants. But this isn’t limited to public figures. Everyday | encounter people who seem to be rather fond of Jesus, but they also seem to be fond of using him as an excuse for discrimination. Many times have | asked these people “why do you hate homosexuals? Why do you hate Muslims? Why do you hate Jews?” The answer, more often then not is that they felt that that’s what Jesus and/or Christianity in general wants them to do. So since many of you insist on celebrating Jesus’ birthday publicly, then do the man a favour and leave your ignorance at home so that the rest of us don’t have to deal with it. However if you insist on acting like a self-righteous asshole, then you may as well just forget the name of Jesus, because if you're acting like that, then Jesus has probably already forgotten yours. ARBOR The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased once again to join the provost in sponsoring the Northrop Frye Awards. One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, college, school or department for extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- ing the link between teaching and research. the 2003 Awards of EXCELLENCE| UNIVE RES PEO Or TOA ONTO Applications are now being accepted for the NORTHROP FRYE AWARDS DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Monpbay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of linking teaching and research. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3% Floor. Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca itp JAmww,utsc.utoranto.cal~ bd aba. ded “Life | Rants Discover Ski and Snowboarding This Year Christian Lucier Life Editor This year, the Canadian Ski Council is offering dis- counts on Discover Packages for beginners. Discover Packages are completely ideal for the everyday begin- ner. Not only do they contain rentals, but a lift pass and a one-hour lesson. Discover Packages are a safe way to ease oneself into the skiing/snowboarding world. For starters, the lift tickets that are included in the packages are only for beginner lifts. This will dilute the traffic on the slopes. Beginner lifts cater to those who need space and a gradual decline, as opposed to black diamond hills, which are like kamikaze runs and attract the daredevils and speed freaks. The one-hour lesson that is also pro- vided in the package is key. The lesson will provide you with the basics in skiing or snowboarding. Emergency Stopping, wide turning, and getting on and off the lifts are usually covered in these lessons. However, the best part of Discover Packages is the rentals. Renting skies or a snowboard is expensive at any hill, so getting them in a package is sure to lower the cost. Another good thing about rentals is that one can try skiing or snowboarding without having to buy or burrow the equipment. Colin Chedore, Presideni of the Canadian Ski Council, believes that Discover Packages are the most economical way to enter the world of skiing/ snowboarding. He states “Discover packages are always inexpensive They're designed to give first-timers opportunities to learn without having to spend a lot of money. They're also designed to be hassle-free. Arrive dressed for winter at a ski area and its staff will take care of the rest, including outfitting you in the proper equipment and giving you a lesson to show you how it’s done.” Sounds pretty good to me. Discover Packages are one of the proper ways to learn how to ski or snowboard. They promote safety both for the beginner and for others. It is not rare to see a beginner just strap on a pair of skies or a snow- board and scream down the hill. This method is crazy and extremely dangerous. Foolishness and inexperi- ence such as the above example sticks out like a sour thumb on the slopes. Not to mention it is greatly unap- preciated. Just like golf has etiquette, so does skiing/ snowboarding. To obtain more information about Discover Packages contact your local ski area. In particular, try calling Kirby, Dagmar, Lakeridge, or Blue Mountain ski resorts. These are just a few local places. For a full list of areas that partake in Discover Packages, check out the Canadian Ski Council website at www.skicanada.org. Hope to see you on the slopes. Wednesday,’ Decémber ‘4, 2002 Commercials That Piss Me Off Jake Brigance The Rogers Cable Commercials: It's on that television guide channel. Doesn't that little I'm-trying-to-be-cute-and-adorable girl piss you off? Talking about “really neat programming” and “rogers cable is a lot like travelling first-class”. Well LA-DEE- DAHH little trying-to-be-cute girl! Why don't you take that plane and travel first-class OUTTA HERE?? She’s talking about “a little feature called parental-control” as well. TAKE THE HINT you little @#$%!! You should be doing homework and playing with dolls, not looking at violence and sex on TV! | despise the other commercial for Rogers too. You know the one | am talking about - where all these Rogers home cable-installers talk about their jobs and how fulfilled they are from it. GODDAMN! Did you ever hear such a pack of shit before?? “Putting a smile on the customer's face, puts a smile on my face”, or “Each person has different needs, when they need us, we'll be there” and “I like helping people. That's the best part of my job - the satisfaction | see on their faces.” WHAT THE?? All the hell they are doing is INSTALLING CABLE! That's just running a friggin’ wire in the house!! And getting paid for it too! So WHY must they talk like they are giving out food and clothes to impoverished families in third-world countries? If they like to talk like that, then go to Haiti or Somalia where such attitudes are REALLY needed ! The Buck-a-day Computer Store Commercial: | am sure you all have seen this visual-nightmare before and wanted to puke. You know, with the middle- age looking girl singing “BUCK A DAY CAN MAKE IT http:/Avww.utsc.utordnto.ca/~undergnd/| ALL COME TRUE” while dancing to a dry club beat? Give me a freaking break here. The commercial itself looks like a kindergarten cut-and-paste job. Ok, she is wearing a tight dress and looking into the camera provocatively while batting her eyes - probably the typi- cal woman in commercial these days. But WHY, for the love of God, is she advertising for BUCK A DAY? She cheapens her very image even MORE by saying “BUCK A DAY” while looking seductively into the camera. So what is for a “BUCK A DAY” ...the IBM or a day's rate for her ‘services’? If you know what | am talkin about. | would pay MORE than a buck a day to see that dum- bass commercial removed from the airwaves. The Bell Sympatico High-speed Commercial: Now, the concept of this commercial is good - Bell gets its message across. By the way you know what | am talking about? The three guys playing basketball and one has to leave cause his friends told him his Paper is due the next day? Good concept for use of high speed internet...but what dumbass friends this guy has! First, if | had bastard friends like that, I'd kick their asses the next day. Real friends don’t do that sort of thing. And at the end of the commercial, what are they smiling about? They still have to do their long-ass papers but their friend is DONE already and he can make fun of them when those two are up all night doing it! Perhaps go out with their girlfriends! What idiots..thinking they made a fool outta their buddy when actually they did him a favour! ONE night and he is done! | feel lighter now. Internet New Year's « Spring Break 20,000 students partied with us last year! Montreal om $229 Quebec City tion $229 Daytona Beach trom $199 Panama City Beach iron $299 Acapulco tom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: mato evperlucsurtiss Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707, Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking se Comics Wednesday, December 4, 2002 CC INESGay, DECEMbEr 4, 2002 What has been reproduced here should in no way be construed as the opinion of The Underground, it’s writers, or staff. This cartoon was given to the Editor by a street preacher at the intersection of Yonge and Dundas, several weeks ago... In the spirit of the season, I just thought that maybe the street preacher would have wanted us to print it. No one was paying much atten- tion to him. I felt sorry for him... all he wanted to do was glow... -Ed. MP HAS THE — i TSS AC GASIG 7 Poe: r4i iS A BASIC ANSWER | FACT THAT) YOU = ead ea TOURNIOW NO OME : te = MWA de ' most-asked : | SIN (ER O74 ae QUESTION! f Sar ; ~ Ses 8 < : - . @ THAT'S RiGH (oO MATTER |THE BIBLE. ALSO _ || THAT Sousner Bore GIET Cc OF yor 18 duende | SAYS LEAVE MUCH GOO 1§ ETER- cS ONY a: a a A TRY, SIN wei NAL LIFE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST SAID IT THIS WAY: pace asestet aso Da ae a JESUS CHRIST OUR) ee eT THIS WA Peo FROM TL, A Awad (em LO meataiae; I TELL YOU, NAY: PREPENTANCE ENG ee guile mae 4 eh — BUT, EXCEPT YE IS TURNING GLORY x wl [Ke-= ~< REPENT. YE SHALL BFR0M SIN Lae owe la) (Oe AEA GIT 22/ ALL LIKEWISE AND DEATH wy } Fy PERISH. cue tas 7O CHRIST Ang (ERS GSS Per *~ 3 5 SOL SG See . di» & poe eel OEE HM ct MESSI ese soe Or abl ON AK ST IG aa ae ¥ “FOR BY GRACE PLEASE TaROUGH FAITH CAN WOR” BE ALWAYS) THIS BELIEF 15 A Ps, 5 ELIEVED TOTA AND THAT N Work Your TO Ae COMMIT MENT WAY TO MEA) JESUSI[ gw GIVES A NEW LIFE: é poy a ct Oe 70 BE gale se THs ny — JUST COME RUMBLY BEFORE THE” aat z< PET f HE Ree YS ‘S "Se Sacer Re soa? eee WA Ams og y LK és t FE ¥Q / york 25 l= ee GEE ZE TR TRUST iN ONLY ONE WHO CAN LK =< Nese BP cs SA Bs ey ~YEORGIWE YOUR SINS. Az BS : Ss CALL. UPON THE { t Neve OF THE LORD. JESUS CHRIST a _http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 17 The Underground Sports Men’s B Division Volleyball Win At Home, Advance to Semi-Finals Herbie Ku After having to endure 2 forfeits and a bye-week over the last month, the UTSC Men’s B Division volleyball team entered the playoffs well rested and injury free. However, playing against Skule B on November 21, the team could have easily have let up given the extended time off. Instead, using its first home game of the season to its advantage, the team stepped up its game and battled hard from start to finish. With the raucous and faithful crowd cheering the squad on, momentum went on the side of the home team even from the start of warm-ups. The first set was dominated by UTSC right from the opening serve. Thunderous hits and punishing blocks by the squad were used to set the tone early and often. Blocks from Mohammed Abbasi and Joseph Gujol flustered Skule constantly and forced its attackers to adjust its offensive strategy. Meanwhile, sets from Kristoffer lllagen allowed Andrew Kwa, Vincent Cho and Herbie Ku to make automatic kill shots that stifled the defense throughout the first set. The second set proved to be more challenging, as Skule increased its intensity and level of play. Several miscues and playoff jitters provided easy points for the opposition to build up its lead. However, trailing 18-12, UTSC managed to weather the storm and made an impressive run to regain the lead at 22-20. From there, Skule began to crack under pressure and frustration began to mount. After Skule was called for blatant fouls such as double-hits and lifts, several of its players proceeded to unprofessionally argue with the referee. Much to their disappointment, the calls were not overturned and rightfully so. With momentum already on their side, UTSC cruised to victory the rest of the way. The second unit battled hard throughout the second set as evident by Ken Lee, who played tough despite suffering a recent ankle injury. Elbert Nghiem was his usual self by controlling the offence and providing accurate sets for the front-row attackers. As well, Ronish Gupta played calm and steadily in the back row while Antony Yang was active and constantly dove for loose balls. All in all, it was a good night for the UTSC squad. With home court advantage, the team took care of business and are now off to the semifinals against a yet-to-be- determined team. The B team takes to the court next week (November 28) at the downtown Athletic Center where it looks to continue its winning ways. Looking ahead, if the team should earn a victory next week, the squad would come back home for the season finale. However, the team refuses to lock ahead and are solely preparing for its upcoming tilt. As the cliché goes, the team is taking it “one game at a time.” Life — i: p ody el Wednesday, December’4, 2002 ao" ents... The following is a listing of events information bsites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know of event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! ——— SSS SSS ssn Dec. 5 Flow 93.5 Old School Skate. Noon-2pm. Nathan Phillips Square. Free. Dec. 5 Bile, Nocturne and guests perform at the Kathedral. Doors open at 9pm. $15 at the door. 19+ inertia- concerts@sympatico.ca Dec. 6 Memorial. A program of music, reading, reflection and commemoration on the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. 10:45-11:15am, in the Leigha Leah Browne Theatre. Dec. 6 Cyber Fetish. Explore pleasure and pain at the Vatikan. Mistress Cane, Guest Mistress, Stage show, Dj Rexx, Dj Bolt and Dargq. 10pm, $5 at the door. www.gothgoddess.com Dec. 6. Friday Workshop Series, feat. Mark Crane, “The Use of bonae literae in Sixteenth-Century France”. Northrop Frye Hall. 73 Queen’s Park, Room 205. 3:15 p.m. [VEUUT AVO ARBOR | http:/www_utscutoronto.da/ a 3 x Ay <~ NE acento A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded to a graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MOonpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King's College Circle, 3“ Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca 19 The Underground presen We at The Underground have been consistently overwhelmed, inundated even, with pleas for more, more, more haiku. We even received some great unsolicited haiku (incidentall our favourite kind.) This got us thinking... Why not put students’ creative drive to a : higher purpose? Why not create the First-Ever Haiku-vaganza Contest? Why not, indeed. The Underground and Steam Whistle Brewing have teamed up to offer real prizes this time! 10 lucky winners will receive free shuttle-service from UTSC to Steam Whistle’s © brewery at The Roundhouse downtown, a special tour of the Steam Whistle plant and more! To enter: Send your original haiku, name, telephone number and address to haikuvaganza@baldandsexy.com : lf you don’t know what haiku is, see below. (A note to plagiarisers: The Underground has a crack team of trained monkeys surfing the web, checking to make sure that all submissions are, in fact, original. Anyone caught pilfering haiku will suffer the wrath of the Editorial Board.) The Contest opens right now, as you read this ad. The deadline for 1 a ; ku 1 0 1 = submissions is December 12, 2002 at 11:59pm. The Underground kindly A Primer for the Unenlightened suggests that individuals not submit more than three (3) poems. Persons or entities that defy us may very well be disqualified, out of pure spite. Haiku is an unrhymed Japanese poetic form consisting of 17 syllables arranged in three lines with five, seven and five syllables respectively. The haiku was originally a poetic device used to introduce a sequence of verse; it was meant to set the tone of a poem and had to contain mention of subjects such as the season, the time of day, and the dominant features of the landscape. (Source: What are you Waiting for? Go now. Go! Webster's Encyclopedia of Literature) 10 winners will be selected, from among the qualified entries. The ten finest scribes will be invited to attend a special tour of Steam Whistle Brewing at The Roundhouse. The winning entries will be published in The Underground next January. : Since nothing is sacred nowadays, “haiku” now refers to a poem, Send your entries to: on any subject, that adheres to the five, seven, five syllable haikuva ganza@baldandsexy com arrangement. At The Underground, we prefer this bastardised : form, and encourage our readers to experiment with diverse subject matter. A word to the wise, check out back issues of the paper for : a | We may not be able to tell you to drink Steam ideas on what kind of haiku we like. And one more tip... . Whistle, but they are the sole sponsors of this Anyane Cate contest, so we will tell you that we /ike the way about raindrops on trees’ leaves these kats think! it's not so profound 20 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ | 4 i UTSC's student newspaper since 1980 ale(:)ae[celejare Wednesday, January 8, 2003 Volume 22, Issue 14 Needs You! SCSP (Scarborough Campus Student Press) is currently looking for new members for it’s Board of Directors. Anyone who is interested should con- tact the Underground for further details. phone: 416.287.7054 fax: 416.287.7055 email: c_mckinn@hotmail.com INFO SESSION: 9:00pm January 15th, 2003 Rm S-364 (The Portable) for real this time... FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT at THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LN AP Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? Are you interested in a career that involves: * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT Sead * COMMUNICATIONS * PUBLIC RELATIONS * PHILANTHROPY Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month intemship starting in September 2003. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni.utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S. Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle between 9:00am — 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian@utoronto.ca Wednesday, January 8, 2003 6 nderground Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo ARA celebrates 10th Anniversary Activists have been mashing- up fascists since 1992... ~ Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia Manager Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe News Editors Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Christian Lucier Graphics Editor Greg Brown On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Advertising Manager Susie Lopes Accounting Manager Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng” Accounting Assistants Diversions is back! p.10 Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung Also in this Issue: ee Editorial p.4 Events Listings P.11 The News in Brief... p.5 Life Letters and Opinions Policy Studying at Robarts p.8 At The Underground we love unsolicited material, Arts The post-holiday biahs... p.? ee | eee, Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they _ include the writer's name and student number. Weekly Haiku p.10 Review Diversions p.10 Classic Video Games P.7 Submissions become the property of The c ' Sports Underground and may or may not be published eature = at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, | Documentary reveals family secrets p.6 post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. : Contacting the Underground Staff For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. Advertising questions and information should be directed to Fora more official-sounding Letters and Opinions © Chris McKinnon. Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: haikuvaganza@baldandsexy.com Web: http:/www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Undergroundis published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). a http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 3 The Underground . Editorial IG ACCC FOUN oy i ae a In with the old... In with the new. | spent a good 50 minutes thinking about Ab t th C what | wanted to write in this space, as | waited ou e over on the wrong platform for the bus today. (The 38 Highland Creek now boards at a different bay in the Scarborough Town Centre... word to the wise.) A lot of newspapers or magazines will try to give UTSC Residence’s Finest student ou some pithy New Year commenta bout th In} 1 a sae BS Ne oe The Gnceeronna se leaders throw the finishing touches you mila have noticed; we tend to do things a little on FROST Week. See opposite page ifferently. We don’t need to tell you what happened last year; chances are that you were here for most of (Rez-rats,..)) for more on Rez's annual , 2002 (not to mention that you can still find a lot of | winter orientation activities. our back-issues on the newspaper-racks if you care to see what went on last semester). So there aren't any silly “Year in Review’ kinds of articles this week. And unless we get really stuck, there won’t be any | such nonsense next week either. And if content seems a little thin this week, well, that’s because it is... Sorry folks, we slept in. This will be the last time we publish an issue so slim. By | next week things will be rolling full-tilt again: Our regular contributors will be back in force... Our staff writers will be cracking the big stories... And we'll be back to our old tricks. The “manifesto” | wrote in this editorial space this ; past September still holds... You can expect more Hate our guts! Wish we were dead? articles on queer issues, race issues, study space, é Lis oe. campus growth and so on and then some. You can oe —. 2 expect to find articles that we think are thought-pro- Send any opinions or letters to the editor to: voking (or at least opinionated) or amusing or both. . And you can still write to us; send us your opinions, — . . your rants, your bad poetry. We're more than likely Editor-in-chief to publish it, even if we think you're stupid or what _. The Underground, U of T Scarborough you say makes us angry or thirsty. & ae : heap Basically, what | want to say is that we’re going 1265 Military Trail, Room $364 to keep on doing this newspaper the way we have - Scarborough, ON been. We don't take ourselves too seriously. We | MIC 1A4 don't pretend to be the New York Times. But we do . take a real interest in issues affecting this school — — oo and the students that attend it. Whether it’s racist ~ or email c mckinn@hot ail.com with “Opinion” or graffiti or queer-positive space; the eminence of tr Teer to the Editor” At e subject line. mestering or the impending double-cohort; a poorly located Tim Horton’s or crime on campus, we'll take Oe a Stab at it. | can’t promise that we'll always be (By the way, we're total masochists; we'll print whatever you send us.) right. | can’t promise that we won't make mistakes. | can promise it will be interesting. Happy New Year and welcome back. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief ittb/iwww.utse. toronto ca/—undergnd/ eo eee, ee Wednesday, January 8, 2003 The News In Brief... Leave your Nazi regime at home! If you’ve ever sat in a study cubicle at this school, or walked into one of the public toilets, you can’t exactly turn a blind eye to the fact that there are some extremely prejudiced people amongst our student population. The question that remains, however, is what to do about it. Undoubtedly, these attitudes must come from somewhere. It may be a little- known fact that there are several white supremacist organizations that are still very active in Ontario and throughout Canada. In fact, one such group staged a racist concert in our Some words from the News Editors... So imperialism is thriving on. Bush seeks to secure oil sources. North Korea is being | harassed for having what the dominators don't want to give them. America (that includes Canada!) is fatter than ever, consuming more than ever, and doing less about it than ever. Religion is still the leading cause of death in the world. And UTSC is one mass of drab concrete slabs without a damn thing going on. | would suggest starting some sort of protest, but humanity’s obsession with death seems to prevent the possibility of getting the school’s dictators to approve-a protest would only end with a drunken brawl stemming from a debate over political-correctness or some other equally myopic scam that serves only to protect the thin- skinned and all the rest who can’t brave free- speech. Well that sounds like fun actually...Do you think we can hire the We Three Drunken Philosophers to help us out on that one? Though it does seem they fear the wrath of the thin- skinned Babbitts that make up UTSC as much as anyone else. As the year goes on, and in the years to come, Dan and | hope to light more controversy than ever. The only problem is that we are News Editors, and shit ones at that. We want to do our best to push this “News” section to the edge, but - we need your help. So you have an event you want covered? Tell us! We'll be there. Do you have some strange naked Twister game going on up there on Rez? Tell us! We'll be there. Has your grandmother recently kicked her crack addiction and decided to spend her retirement locked up in a rusty barbed-wire cage wearing nothing but edible underwear? Tell us! We'll be there. While offbeat events are, of course, more interesting, don't hesitate to tell us what’s going on. What you think is normal is far from it for us. Do you go to church every Sunday? Yes? Well, that is very odd-it’s about as healthy as grandma’s crack addiction. So tell us about it! We want to know! Send us anything! Gordon Lane & Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com fair city of Scarborough as recently as June of last year! The Anti-Racist Action group has been fighting white supremacy and prejudice of all kinds since September 1992. They have held several rallies throughout Canada in their fight against organized racism under their pledge to “expose, oppose and confront organized racism and the far right agenda through education, mass action, and support of broader anti-racist struggles.” The ARA is celebrating their tenth anniversary this Saturday (Jan 11) at the Opera House, with a free day of workshops starting at noon, followed by a ska/punk concert (a mere ten bucks) which starts at 7 PM. The workshops’ topics will include “Dealing With The Man: Know Your Rights”, “Canadian Racism and First Nations Struggles”, and queer issues, among others. In addition, the concert will feature ten bands from the ska/punk genre including ARSENALS, GENERAL RUDIE, WARSAW PACK, FUCKNUCKLES, CONSTABLE BRENNAN, BUNCHOFUCKINGOOFS, NIGHTSHIFT and more. Check the Events Listing for further details about the workshops/concert, and visit the ARA’s website at www.antiracistaction.ca for more information about the organization. ‘The Savage Year 2003 Mueee Choice Predictions _ “Who vail win athe us fist) A) North Korea B) Saddam Hussein C) George Bush D) Nike | Who vil do something to stop iv A) George Bush _&B Hippies — C) United Nations — » Cuba Who will start the latest fashion trend? . A The ate : _ B) Anew Boy Band © 9 Petro-Canada : pp Muslims _ _ Rez-rats get drunk... again. FROST 2003: dis.orien.ta.tion will begin this Wednesday on UTSC Rez. Residence students can participate in four days of events chock full of “fun” activities, such as hockey, bowling, karaoke, a coffee house, pubs, sex-games, prizes and so on... This is the third time the annual winter “re-orientation” has been run by student leaders on residence. In previous years, the official events of FROST Week have been coupled with other “unofficial” events such as drunken 4 a.m. tobogganing and the large-scale construc- tion of phallic snow sculptures. Cheers to the good folks on Rez as they work hard to build new traditions! The Underground New documentary-series gets set to reveal Family Secrets... by Lisa Endersby Staff Writer ‘Family Secrets... opens a window into the private world of family relationships.’ Although many of us would prefer to keep our family secrets hidden, producer/ director Maureen Judge has decided to make a documentary that sheds light on this often sensitive topic. The news release sent out by Judge’s company Makin’ Movies goes . on to describe the series as ‘an honest, provocative and dramatic real life portrait of modern families. The series explores the humour, drama and dynamics of what makes families tick.’ While exploring family dynamics is nothing new, this particular documentary promises to take a different look at a common topic. Makin’ Movies Inc. was formed by Judge in 1996. This Canadian owned film and television company has allowed Judge to explore many different issues surrounding the human experience. Judge produced and directed ‘In My Parents’ Basement’, an award winning documentary about adult children moving back in with their parents. She was also recognized by the Chicago Film Festival's INTERCOM Competition with a Gold Plaque for ‘Unveiled: The Mother Daughter Relationship.’ Now, with Family Secrets, Judge attempts to explore not only the relationship between mother and daughter, but also the many other relations that make up the modern family. | had the opportunity to speak with Linda Kerec, head researcher for Family Secrets, about the documentary and working in the film and television industry. Kerec told me that it was Judge who had the idea for the project, as it is a personal area of interest which can be seen in several of her previous endeavours. Judge also has an interest in ‘talking about the taboo’, allowing us to see topics talked about on tv that we would be too embarrassed to discuss with others in real life. As head researcher, Kerec is responsible for finding people willing to tell their stories for the documentary. This involves a variety of publicity methods, but Kerec uses mainly print ads, like those run in previous issues of The Underground, to cultivate interest in Family Secrets. Kerec, who holds a film degree from York University, told me that ‘it’s nice to be working in your field of study’, which is a goal for many of us currently pursuing a university education. Since the summer of this year, when work began on the documentary, Makin’ Movies has received many stories and anecdotes highlighting the ever changing dynamics of family relationships. One particular story that caught Kerec’s eye was of a man who had a psychic reading 20 years ago. Astoundingly, the psychic was able to accurately predict the events that would arrive in this man’s life. There is also a story dealing with a woman who, years ago, lost her baby at birth. At the time, mothers who had lost a child this way felt extremely alone, as paranatal deaths were rarely discussed - or even acknowledged. By portraying the emotional turmoil that this woman faced, other mothers who have experienced the same painful loss may be able to see their feelings justified by knowing that they are not alone in their grief. Kerec is currently looking for students who are working as exotic dancers to pay for their education as further subjects for the documentary. Just as with paranatal deaths, exotic dancing is not something that the general public hears a lot about, and many who work in the industry are secretive about their jobs and are therefore reluctant to tell Hey Ma! pay for school! their stories. In fact, they may be the only person who knows how they are earning their university tuition; close friends and even family members are often left in the dark. Kerec tells me that Family Secrets will allow viewers a different look at family through the policy of ‘show us don't tell us’. In other words, this documentary aims not only to tell the stories of its subjects through interviews, but also by going with them to work or school and filming them interacting with their family in an effort to capture family relationships at their best; spontaneously without a script or direction. When | asked Kerec what she hoped people will gain from watching this documentary, her answer exemplified what is perhaps the goal of all those who make documentaries or any other form of entertainment ‘Ideally, people will learn something about themselves.” At the time this article was written, Family Secrets is scheduled to air at the end of February on the W Network Monday nights at 10:30 p.m. There will be 13 episodes dealing with a variety of topics including exotic dancers and adoption. Kerec is still looking for people interested in sharing their stories for Family Secrets. To tell your story or if you have any questions, please call Linda Kerec at Makin’ Movies at (416) 516- 1833 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ aie | became an exotic-dancer to a E http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, January 8, 2003 Charming old videogames live on... By Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Videogames are_ getting — pretty impressive. Three dimensional environments, lighting effects, voice recognition and other such features are constantly being refined and raising the level of realism in the gaming experience. But who really cares? Despite all the graphical intensity the same basic principle lies behind making a good game: it has to be fun to play. I’m not sure if I'll be able to explain why, but we’re coming to the tail end of a period in the industry of videogames, where the majority of games being produced couldn't pass that simple test. Let’s take a little trip down memory lane and reflect on what videogames were like in the 80s. Those of us who remember rectangular controllers with a direction pad and two buttons, simple pixel characters and linear, platform hopping games know of what | speak. Games were simpler back in those days. The gameplay was limited to run, jump, attack and yet a person could spend hours trying to get past a single obstacle. Just getting to the other side of a ledge was a challenge. Now many of the same game franchises that fueled hours of hair-pulling, expletive-flying, madly frustrating fun present their games in glorious full 3D. With a more fleshed out environment comes more fleshed out characters and now the repertoire of techniques a player has access to in a given game has increased ten fold. But the challenge is gone. There aren't any difficult jumps or perplexing bosses, and if you ever do manage to die you can just reload your game and keep trying. Why is it that the more complex a game becomes, the easier it is to play? Meanwhile, the dimensional platformer continues to be produced. Nintendo’s' latest handheld system, the Gameboy Advance, has become an archive of old and new projects in two dimensional videogames. Series like Castlevania, Megaman and Metroid are all continuing to produce new games that mirror the simple but satisfying gameplay of their originals. At the same time Nintendo is releasing straight reproductions of the old genre of two Mario and Zelda games that are selling as well as any other next generation videogame. A lot of people just prefer videogames the way they used to be. Linear, challenging and addictively fun. It's possible that this following is just another result of the recent growth of nostalgia sweeping over the 80s generation, but that seems unlikely. The platformer genre never really disappeared to begin with. The reason some people prefer older, traditional style of gameplay is because the newer genre hasn't been refined yet. Or rather, is just starting to be refined. Fully three dimensional games have been around for a few years now. They began with the last generation of consoles, N64 and Playstation. As a relatively new genre, the potential of having gameplay in full 3D hasn't been taken full advantage of. In previous years the majority of these games had sparse action and easy challenges and could be beaten quickly. Programmers were inexperienced in designing within such an environment and the obstacles they thought of for gamers were simplistic. In a three dimensional environment there can be a lot more variables to deal with when facing on obstacle; more angles to consider, more directions for threats to come from. But, perhaps because they fear alienating their audience, programmers just use this extra space to make the margin for error larger. Now a days any fool can trip his way. through your average dungeon or haunted forest. Today these games are starting to become more developed and improvements can be seen. Still, next generation games have a number of obstacles of their own to overcome. As the console makes it’s way into the online market and your television becomes another portal to the internet it will be interesting to see how gamers adjust to playing Playstation 2 with complete strangers. The big problem of online gaming is that most people you find online are complete jackasses. Nonetheless the medium boldly moves forward. Maybe there will be a period in the future when all the nuances are worked out and the genre of three dimensional gaming can capture the same quality traits as the older classics. Mixing the addictive challenge of the old with the immersive experience of the new would be nice to see. Until then | have a ROM of Ninja Gaiden to get me by. singers | pances # The Underground ONE DAY ROBARTS WILL DOCK WITH UTSC AND TAKE US ALL INTO SPACE By Sachin “This headline has little relevance to my article” Hing Associate Editor The thought occurs to me as | approach my twelfth hour in the Concrete Hell known as Robarts Library downtown. | torture myself this way every year, just before my most important or most difficult exam, rationalizing it with a phrase | mutter under my breath every time | walk in: “It’s what a ninja would do.” The thick walls of this Fortress of Solitude are the only things keeping the goblins out and the temptation of hallucinogens away while | study for an exam that’s only 72 hours from now. If you’ve never had the pleasure of studying in this arcane monolith of academia, | encourage you to try it during midterms in March as an_ alternative to UTSC’s tired and scarce facilities. It's an exercise in self-deprivation, you almost feel Zen-like in your isolation on the ninth floor* where even the most high tech cell-phone won't get reception (sorry Morpheus, I’m busy). Even surrounded by ten or fifteen people hunched over their Biology or like me, Economics textbooks, there is the dizzying feeling of loneliness, the feeling that you're the only one in this entire building, confined to a study carrel no bigger than a washroom stall, buried deep within fourteen stories of sheer, unforgiving concrete. If! were to die here, | think to myself, it'd probably be months before my corpse was found, and even then it’d only be because of the smell. | have some unique evidence of this, so shut up and let Daddy tell you a story. During my first year, | had the misfortune of falling asleep inside Robarts during a study binge not unlike this one. Having missed the PA announcement that, in effect, says “get your _half-blind, comatose asses the fuck out of this building’, | was stuck there on the ninth floor. | awoke to complete darkness, but having just consumed upwards of fourteen hours of — “Introductory” Calculus, | was in no mood to argue. Not wanting to wander the darkened halls only to be stuck in a stairwell for the rest of the night, | went back to sleep on the desk only to awaken shortly before the building opened the next morning, after which | slipped out before the staff could give me a second look. Okay, so | didn’t say it was an interesting story (how about that relevance though, huh? Not too shabby), but it’s one of my very first university experiences, one which | will remember forever. To. this day, my nightmares still include a scene in which the head of the robo-peacock turns towards me from St. George and Harbord and emits its high- pitched, supersonic screech into the sky, shattering glass for miles around. Since then, Robarts and * You can study on other floors too (the first floor doesn’t count). The effect is quit | have had a kind of “Ike and Tina” relationship (Robarts is Ike). No matter how much | despise the place, no matter how much | loathe its construction, its atmosphere, or the sickly sweet stench of books that haven’t been opened in thirty years, | keep coming back every semester. Is this just an example of masochism? Is there some force emitted from deep within those walls that beckons me during every exam period? Well, maybe it’s a little of both. See, my theory is that | keep subjecting myself to this because | ama UTSC student. Think about it, is there another building in this whole city that is built with so little attention to aesthetic appeal or is so devoid of any comfort whatsoever? As a certain professor of mine pointed out this semester, Robarts is a textbook example of an aptly- named school of architecture known as “Brutalism”. In fact, the only other structure that I've ever seen that is even remotely similar, in this city or — anywhere else in my extensive ~ travels, is UTSC. So, to finally get to my point way down here in my sixth paragraph, maybe |’m | drawn to Robarts because it’s © a little piece of Scarborough Campus, right in the middle of downtown. Maybe | can only feel athome ina futuristic Doom Fortress. Or maybe it’s just that four years in Scarborough Ne FR oe have exponentially increased ~ my tolerance uncomfortable, for _ugly, concrete buildings to a degree at which © even Frank Lloyd Wright would shudder. In any case, | know I'll be back here during midterms, and most likely again for finals. And if you do me one favour this year, friends, | ask that if you see me passed out in a study carrel on — forming into a puddle on my Accounting textbook, please wake me up on your way out. The last thing | need is another | disturbing nightmare. the same. However, | attain that isolated state only when on the higher levels. Go figure. - http//www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ the ninth floor, drool slowly — ‘ ei Life Confronting those post-holiday blahs... by Christian Lucier Life Editor With the holiday season behind us there lingers still that feeling of emptiness and despair that we all thought the holidays would eradicate. Unfortunately, the holidays blew by faster than you can say; “Merry Kwanzaa”, and we are all stuck looking at another taxing semester of good old university. Let me be the first to welcome you to the “Post-Holiday Blahs.” You may be asking yourself what “Blah” means. “Blah” is kind of like “Meh”; an expression that is not necessarily describing something good or bad, rather something that just is. For some strange reason, this particular time of year has the tendency to be described as “Blah.” Maybe it is because we did not get what we wanted for Christmas, or maybe it is because New Year’s did not pan out like we all thought it would. For the most part, | think people feel that the holidays will bring about some dramatic change in their lives, where they can will suddenly be able to cope with the upcoming dark and dreary months. However, this new breath of energy does not always come when we need it. Sometimes, we have to grit our teeth and bear it. | tried to think of some activities that might boost morale in this time of need, but the holidays covered them all. You could hit the bars with some buddies (if you hadn't done that a billion times over the break) or you could fall into consumerism and buy yourself something nice, though | think we all spent enough money on gifts already. The main bitch about the holidays is that they leave you high and dry: tight on cash, exhausted, and looking for some sort of filler for that emotional void. Hang in there though. We have already killed one week WE LOVE LOVE of January, and February will fly, considering reading week. That just leaves us with March, because April is a write-off due to exam preparation. Spring will be upon us soon, and that is when the sun starts to shine again, and the gloomy days disappear. Before we know it, another school year will be down the drain, and summer plans will start to blossom. So don’t fee! overwhelmed with the “Post-Holiday Blahs.” There are numerous people who feel the exact same way A solution is not always at hand, and for the most part you're just going to have to face it head on. They don't call it the “Blahs’” for nothing. Wednesday, January 8, 2003 Spring Break PARTY TRIPS! Book Now, Space Limited! 20,000 students partied Quebec City trom $229 (Optional Snowboard/Ski trips!) Daytona Beach trom $199 Panama City Beach trom $299 Acapulco from $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: lp Gk Gail} © Us Ge Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max. hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking. (and so do you, admit itt) We're currently accepting Valaritnies s Day aS errceieteonal Tell that hottie you've been checking her/him out with the safe anonymity of newsprint! Example - YOU: Eating roti in the H-Wing Cafe in that sexy way you eat your roti. ME: Eyeing you from behind my copy of 100 Days of Solitude and beating off. stairwell on Friday! Meet me in the S-Wing Send your message via the technopoly of the Web to: underground love@ace-ot-base.com Sachin says, This year, say it with haiku! ata) Cleo aah The Underground gue" camel An Arab sheikh tells his two sons to race their camels to a distant city to see who will inherit his fortune. The one whose camel is slower will win. The brothers, after wandering aimlessly for days, ask a wise man for advise. After hearing the advice they JHEP on the camels and race as fast as they can to the city. What does the wise man say? janvary 11 noon to 4:30pm The Opera House 732 Queen East (east of Broadview) FREE WORKSHOPS 777" YOU CAN USEI * Anti-Fascism 101 *Anti-Racism DIY “Dealing with the Man: Know Your Rights *Canadian Racism at Home and Abroad “Women and Queers take on Fascism and Fundamentalism 10 It's back-to-school time again everybody... this week's diversions are designed to help you stretch out those brain-cramps from New Year's. Enjoy — these logic puzzles and look for the answers next week. | ee ee by | | Kelly Lisle & Ayshia Degia 29 Three people check into a hotel. They pay $30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager tinds out that the room rate is $25 and gives $5 to the bellboy to return. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that $5 would be difficult to share among three people so he pockets $2 and gives $1 to each person. Now each person aid $10 and got back $1. So they paid Bs each, totalling $27. The bellboy has Se totaling $29. Where is the remaining ollar’: bookworm A bookworm eats from the first page of an encyclopedia to the last page. The bookworm eats in a straight line. The encyclopedia consists of ten 1000-page volumes and is sitting on a bookshelf in the usual order. Not counting covers, title pages, etc., how Many pages does the ookworm eat through’ weekly haiku by sachin hingoo L waat my wert back. Domn Will Smifh Aas salle i An) thar word, 15 fresh: http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ cial i | pillg from flyers aroun indergr ' Wednesday, January 8, 2003 i Wents... The following is a listing of events information e city, events websites and other low-key or hard-to-find places. If you know of ah event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS?” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Jan 6-15 MORAL FIBRE: Dress Codes From Purity to Wickedness From the Victorian wedding gowns to fetish wear, Moral Fibre reveals the ways in which textiles and clothing convey messages about good, evil, guilt and innocence. Textile Museum of Canada (55 Centre / St.) Jan. 8 UTSC Drama Society Coffee House/Karaoke Challenge 7PM Jan 11 SVC Pub 9PM Jan 11 Anti Racist Action Presents Workshops and “SKA SKA OI” Concert feat ARSENALS, GENERAL RUDIE, WARSAW PACK, FUCKNUCKLES, CONSTABLE BRENNAN and more. Opera House, $10 for concert (8 pm), workshops free (noon-4:30 pm) Jan 11 Lady Bass’s Birthday info@ee [Ss The Canadian College ___of Naturopathic Medicine We offer Canada's only accredited four-year, full-time professional program educating doctors of naturopathic medicine, regulated general practitioners of natural medicine. Program requirements: Candidates must have a minimum of three years of study (15 full-year credits) at an accredited university, including six prerequisite courses. oF Application deadline for the September 2003 program _ ___ isJanuary 31, 2003 : - Beats feat DJ’s Drag ‘n’ Fly, Ken Finch, Grimace, Lyphe and more. 423 Queen St. W (Audiowerks). $5, 19+, 10 PM Jan 11 Sin Saturday Retro goth/industrial with dj bOLT and nadx. Great giveaways including a free tattoo and piercing. The Vatikan (1032 Queen St. W) $5. Jan 12,19 Toronto DARK WRITERS GROUP Meetings All interested in literary arts are welcome. 7-8:30 pm Tequila Bookworm (490 Queen St. W.). Free. Contact squinlan@bpal.com for information. NOW UNTIL JAN 15 BADART Miklos Legrady, 310 Bathurst. 416-203-1846. Jan 16, 17, 18 2003 Toronto Youth Safety Symposium. Make the city safe for kids. Metro Hall (55 John St.) Free, but registration is required. See ege of Naturopathic Medicine grt , ON M2K 1E2 www.toronto.ca/youthsym for more information. NOW UNTIL JAN 17 Theatre posters: Worth A Thousand Words $8, students $5. DESIGN EXCHANGE (234 Bay). 416- 216-2160. Jan 18 SMERK presents Hardkore Pi feat DJ’s C64, $5,000 to the winner Friends of Canadian Broadcasting announces of an essay The Dalton Camp Award competition on how Deadline for entries: March 31st, 2003 the media influence Award announcement: 2003 Banff Television Festival Canadian democracy For details visit daltoncampaward.ca The Dalton Camp Award Skeeter, Antigen Shift, Flatline Construct and many more. 294 College St. (Oasis). 9PM-???, $8, 19+ Jan 25 PLEASURES OF SIN feat. DJ’s Patrick DSP, Philth, Remedi, Apathy and more. 298 Brunswick (Labyrinth). $5, 19+, 10PM-3AM FRIENDS OF CANADIAN BROADCASTING Le ’ http://www-utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ - - IOs le a rel ars ‘ ag mg , a. . . Att; The Underground he First-Ever | -Vaganza | Contest We at The Underground have been consistently overwhelmed, inundated even, with pleas for more, more, more haiku. We even received some great unsolicited haiku (incidentally, our favourite kind.) This got us thinking... Why not put students’ creative drive to a higher purpose? Why not create the First-Ever Haiku-vaganza Contest? Why not, indeed. ’ The Underground and Steam Whistle Brewing have teamed up to offer real prizes this time! 10 lucky winners will receive free shuttle-service from UTSC to Steam Whistle’s brewery at The Roundhouse downtown, a special tour of the Steam Whistle plant and more! To enter: Send your original haiku, name, telephone number and address to hatkuvaganza@haldandsexy.com If you don’t know what haiku is, see below. (A note to plagiarisers: The Underground has a crack team of trained monkeys surfing the web, checking to make sure that all submissions are, in fact, original. Anyone caught pilfering haiku will suffer the wrath of the Editorial Board.) The Contest opens right now, as you read this ad. The deadline for submissions is January 12, 2003 at 11:59pm. The Underground kindly suggests that individuals not submit more than three (3) poems. Persons or entities that defy us may very well be disqualified, out of pure spite. Deadline Extended!! Send your submission by January 12, 2003... Haiku is an unrhymed Japanese poetic form consisting of 17 syllables arranged in three lines with five, seven and five syllables respectively. The haiku was originally a poetic device used to introduce a sequence of verse; it was meant to set the tone of a poem and had to contain mention of subjects such as the season, the time of day, and the dominant features of the landscape. (Source: Wehster’s Encyclopedia of Literature) 7 more winners will be selected, from among the qualified entries. All ten of the fine fine scribes will be invited to attend a special tour of Steam Whistle Brewing at The Roundhouse. The winning entries will be published in The Underground later this month... What are you waiting for? Go now. Go! Since nothing is sacred nowadays, “haiku” now refers to a poem, on any subject, that adheres to the five, seven, five syllable arrangement. At The Underground, we prefer this bastardised form, and encourage our readers to experiment with diverse subject matter. A word to the wise, check out back issues of the paper for ideas on what kind of haiku we like. And one more tip... Send your entries to: haikuvaganza@baldandsexy.com We may not be able to tell you to drink Steam Whistle, but they are the sole sponsors of this contest, so we will tell you that we /ike the way these kats think! Anyone can write about raindrops on trees’ leaves it's not so profound 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Sik eo 3 St Needs You! SCSP (Scarborough Campus Student Press) is currently looking for new members for it’s Board of Directors. Anyone who is interested should con- tact the Underground for further details. phone: 416.287.7054 fax: 416.287.7055 email: c_mckinn@hotmail.com INFO SESSION: 9:00pm January 15th, 2003 Rm S-364 (The Portable) for real this time... FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT at THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? Are you interested in a career that involves: * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT fae * COMMUNICATIONS Ailig Kav) * PHILANTHROPY Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni.utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S, Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle between 9:00am— 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian@utoronto.ca - - +o. Editor-in-Chief = =——Chris McKinnon Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo Production Manager Greg Brown Associate Production James Relunia | Manager News Editors Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Christian Lucier Graphics Editor Greg Brown On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Advertising Manager Susie Lopes Accounting Manager Michelle Ng Accounting Assistants Juliana Lam Millie Ng Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung Contributors: David Hale, Julianne Baragar Special thanks to guest Art Director, John _Loerchner, for the fancy-schmancy cover- design. Send gifts to John, c/o The Underground, at the address below and somewhat to the right. Letters and Opinions Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Undergroundis published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non-profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). http://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 5 - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 We cantg enough of thi sexy elf... The Provost was here... Guess what she said? Dp. 7 Also in this Issue: Editorial / Letter P.4 Events Listings p.19 Comments p.5 f... p.6 Life Drama Society Talent Night p.1 7 Other News (or Views) Getting off with good study habits p.18 ARA Workshops are scary p.8 The News in Brie Columns Arts Weekly Haiku p.7 Normality at U of T Drama Fest p.16 Satan's Bakesale p.12 Review Groundworks p.14 Chronic p.16 (A sci-fi adventure, by David Hale) Contacting the Underground Staff (and other robotic sex-monkeys. . .) For all inquiries, please use the contact information below. We also really, really like presents and small tokens of affection. Mail: | The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 (in the portable) Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: _http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground Editorial Free Speech Rules, Nazis Drool!! It seems like I’ve had race on the brain this week... I significant portion of the content in this issue is related in one way or another to what we like to call “race”. Whether it’s the races of elves and dwarves, or UTSC’s “diversity”, Nazis, or what-have-you... Three editors from this newspaper attended some anti-racism workshops this past weekend. We told a lot of people about it, published an ad and an article in last week’s issue, and hoped that we wouldn’t be the only people to show up there. One other soul from UTSC put in an appearance. We all took home a really decent blueprint for an anti-racism workshop, and a keen sense of being unfulfilled. It wasn’t just that none of the workshop’s organizers were people of colour. Even if they were all white, they could talk about racism, though they couldn’t give first-hand experiences of oppression. It wasn’t just that they spent more than 75% of the afternoon warning us that there are fascists and Nazis among us, or the giddy tone with which they recounted tales of “confronting” fascists and skin- heads, often in violent fashion. Nazis could very well be organizing covertly in Scarborough, as the ARA would have us believe. No, what left the queasiest feeling in my stomach after everything was said and done, was that a militant, alarmist, sometimes violent group of activists and fear- mongers felt that they have every right to “expose” Nazis and fascists... Not just by outing them in the media, or posting (an anonymous) website with the names and pictures of prominent fascist organizers. Not by confronting them with well-reasoned debate. But by striking fear into their hearts, by showing up on some Nazi’s doorstep with 200 of your angriest, most militant friends. I have always been a proponent of free speech. I will stand behind your right to speak your mind, even if I hate what you’re saying, even if I think you’re stupid or unreasonable. I’ll stand behind your right to speak, it seems, even if you’re a Nazi... And as much as it pains me to say that, I really do mean it. Because I would not stand for 200 Nazis showing up on my doorstep to prevent me from spreading the ideas of multi-culturalism, or cultural pluralism, or minority rights, or affirmative action, or queer rights. By scaring fascists, Nazis and other extremists, we only drive them under ground. Hearing them out, and then defeating them with reason and words and facts and arguments is a surer way. We do not legitimize Nazi philosophies by allowing them to exist... If anything, we do them a greater disservice by considering them rationally, and then rejecting them, not out of hand, but out of reason. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief Insert catchy title here A letter to Chris McKinnon: © You do not amuse me. | find you arrogant and solipsistic. Your self-referential writing makes me long for the verse of past editors Tim Soucie and Nadia Alam. None of this bothers me, however, as much as the hypocricy with which you espouse your thoughts. Two years ago, as the Underground’s Arts Editor, | had doubts concerning the editorial-in- verse. A letter from an undergraduate student, though, praising then editor-in-chief, Nadia Alam’s style and metaphor turned my quiet discontent into pleasure. Her symbolism struck a chord. The letter was yours, Chris. All who have devoted time and toil to the production of the Underground care for and respect the paper and its history. We worked for the student body, the student voice, and the aesthetic of our art. You, it appears, work for yourself, as is apparent by your inconceivable ignorance of the fact that this pro- foundly touching student medium, the Underground, is inherited and shared, not burnt, pillaged, and rebuilt each year. Please care for the paper and for the interests upon which it was founded and preserved, Chris. It means much to many. Ted Christou About the Cover Noyan (a.k.a. noyz) makes a guest appearance at the Drama Society Talent Night last Wednesday. See noyz perform at the The Horseshoe Tavern later this month. www.noyz.8m.com Tn —— ee " Ses.wery bey Si Wednesday, January 15, 2003 The Great UTSC Community Debate Continues... by Rob Chung Underground Staff This is my response to Christian Lucier’s article on the lack of community at UTSC written a few issues ago. And no, for those of you that were morally offended by his perhaps negative, even pessimistic view of our school community, | don’t intend to mend the wounds you received from his “attack” on our school and the attitudes that determine what kind of school this is. Even though | may alienate even more of you, | believe just as strongly as Christian that there is something lacking, something that our school environment does not and cannot support in its current state. And that something which | greatly desire, which Christian also yearns for, is a sense of community within the school and its population. What people have been telling me is that Christian’s article on community seemed to have misunderstood the whole idea of “diversity” at UTSC. Diversity, the heterogeneity of cultures that attend UTSC, are something that makes our Campus very unique and interesting, which in turn is something that we should all value. Maybe the last article did not acknowledge the value of such diversity enough. Such things are possible. | believe that it perhaps misconstrued the difference between accepting and celebrating differences, and allowing such differences to separate and segregate members of our school community. Nevertheless, it is my goal to reiterate the point that my colleague attempted to make, one that many of you have misinterpreted as having “missed the point.” The whole purpose of diversity and accepting diver- sity in a place like UTSC is to acknowledge the fact that people of different cultures, different religions, different .ideas, differing tastes in music or art or food, can co- exist in a spirit of co-operation and solidarity. We look at others and accept who they are and what they believe because of the similarities we all share. The immense differences that we see in others should not serve to fracture the common bond that unites every person that attends UTSC. But when | look around me, | don’t see people acknowledging differences while embrac- ing similarities. Only diversity seems to be recognized, while similarities seem ignored. This emphasis on dif- ferences, which our school seems to celebrate, is what | ascertained as the focus of the previous article about the lack of community. The other point that the other article made was that the number of clubs and organizations Rts: /wwiutse. utoronto ta/Ukdergnid/ x at UTSC exist only to segregate the student population by specific, exclusive denominations, thereby destroying any sense that we exist together as one body - a student body which shares in all of the tribulations that UTSC attempts to impose on us. Again, let me reiterate: | have no problem with clubs that allow people with shared cultures, interests and ideas to get together. Many UTSC associations give people who qualify a forum where their similarities can give them a sense of community. The problem is that the sense of community achieved by these individual clubs cannot be extended to every person who attends the school because of the “diversity” that divides us. Thus, as mentioned by the previous article, events are planned and hosted by individual clubs, and very rarely are we ALL really invited to events that are meant to be attended by any student at the school. Those that represent the entire student body, the UTSC student council, whatever they are called, seems nonexistent. And my sincere apologies go to those who tirelessly work on this council, because it might be my Linguists, Why Do You Suck? by Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor Many before me have decried the breakdown of language own fault that | never hear of fun, extra-curricular events planned by them. Maybe the problem is communication or marketing. Maybe a sense of school community has nothing to do with extra- curricular events that bring people together to have fun instead of working on academic goals. Or maybe no one really cares or wants to participate in events run by Student Council, and I’m being terribly naive in thinking that a sense of community is even important. Perhaps, and it is very possible, the lack of community | sense at UTSC is a figment of my imagination. Also likely is that there is a strong sense of community that | cannot or choose not to experience. And if that is the case, I’m sorry | wasted your time with this. But if there are others out there in the dark, lonely, concrete slums of UTSC who feel like all the faces you see around you are cold and unwelcoming, | hope that you find those few students that you can form your own club with, so that you will at least have those few to share your experiences with, amidst the thousands that surround you. in our society, even here in this paper. With “bling bling” and “sketchy” becoming part of our daily usage (okay, my daily usage), many feel that it’s time for someone to step in. And who better than the cream of the linguist crop, the American Dialect Society? Your pals at the Society have already chosen 2002's “Word Of The Year”. For those of you that had your fingers crossed for such gems as “blog” (as in “weblog”), or my pick, “neuticles” (prosthetic nuts for your neutered pets) to win the big prize, keep dreaming. This year’s winner is none other than, wait for it, “Weapons of Mass Destruction”. What's that? That's four words? Not according to the Dialect Society, apparently. But then, these are the same people who voted “9/11” (a number!) as ‘word’ of the year for 2001. Sure, they’re both significant | suppose (name a word/phrase that you’ve heard more often in the past year), but come on, you'd think that of all people, linguists would choose, | don’t know, a word for their word of the year. Of course, there isn’t the heated battle or debate over this title, it's simply decided by a show of hands. You kind of expect more from an organization that’s been around since 1889. But it also seems that like last year, many, if not most of the nominated words are directly related to the “War on Terror”. This, of course, directly informs us about what's been on people’s minds for the past twelve months, and it shouldn't come as any kind of surprise that it’s Mr. Hussein and his alleged bag of tricks. The Underground. Sees UTSC fishing fora new Principal The search is underway for the next Principal of UTSC. Provost Shirley Neuman assured us that, while the process itself is confidential, the University of Toronto is casting its net far and wide (ie. internationally) in search of the best possible candidates. Of primary concern in the creation of the candidates short-list will be finding prospects that can “connect with the larger community”. Can you say: “A principal that isn’t white and male?” We can. University of Guelph secretive about search for new President Student government and community members at the University of Guelph are up in arms over the U of G Board of Governors decision to conduct its search for a new President behind closed doors. Calls for the Board to publish its short-list of potential candidates were met with rebuke. “I find it profoundly disturbing that a deci- sion of this magnitude is being made behind closed doors,” commented, Dave Hauch, Communications Commissioner of the University of Guelph Central Student Association. “The whole selection process has been fraught with problems.” U of G’s Board of Directors voted on the final selection of a new President last Wednesday, January 8th, in secret. SCSU elections around the corner The Scarborough Campus Students’ Union will be accepting nominations for next year’s council. All the positions are up for grabs... Who will come out for the coveted position of SCSU President? We wait with baited breath... Nomination period opens January 28th. Gordon Lane and Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com With files and research by Chris McKinnon and Marjan Tehrani The News In Brief... New parking spaces in Outer-lot A couple thousand parking spots will be added to the outer lot for September 2003. Approximately 1000 of these spaces will go to Centennial College, which is going to be making about 40% of the cost. UTSC will be paying the other 60%, for a total of approximately $8.2 million. Safety concerns for the increased pedestrian traffic have led to talk about building a foot- bridge over Ellesmere near 3 phase residences. This would mean that you would no longer have to cross at the lights, but that instead you could cross at the bridge. Bridge plans are on a temporary hold due to financial constraints. As the new north lots are being build on a former dumpsite, there will be significant costs entailed in the environmental clean-up. Student Centre breaks ground in April The much anticipated groundbreaking for the new UTSC Student Centre will be taking place sometime between April 1% to April 3°. However, the fun doesn't stop there. Even though its going to be quite some time before we get to see the finished centre, SCSU will be starting the celebrations early with a Groundbreaking Ceremony. The ceremony will be followed with the greatest party to ever hit Scarborough. The party will be held either in the meeting place or if the weather permits it will be held outside on-site, with lots of foods, drinks. H-Wing Cafe to be renovated Our “beloved” H-wing café will undergo 4 major 2 coming this summer. The cafeteria will fe con @rted to a “marché” style in order to accomm@date the increased number of students at UTSG renovations, expect a new menu with néw and more exciting varieties of foods, a welc@me addition to our usual favourites of burgers, fries, and pizza UTSC tells Management to suck it up... Despite protests from the Division of Management, MESA, and Mangement students, the UTSC Academic Committee reaffirmed its commitment to the implemen- tation of an Academic Year with three 12-week terms. The Division of Management worried that changes to current summer course offerings might negatively impact the academic, career, and personal plans of students. In an open-letter to Management students (which can be found at http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/ ~scsu/news/trimester.shtml) Principal Paul Thompson assured that the faculty of the Division of Management were revising their summer course offerings to fit the new summer trimester. The proposal for the Division of Management's new summer curriculum will be presented af-the Academic Committee meeting on Tuesday, January 14th. A copy of the proposal can be found at http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~mgmt/programs/ summer.html. Drama Society Talent Night fills the Village Centre Last Wednesday night the Student Village Centre was packed with talent-hungry rez-rats and drama-crew alike. The talent night might not have found us a new Canadian Idol, but it did find some serious entertain- rave it with the sauce... Find ore on the talent night on pag 6 3 http:/WWv.utsc.utorofito‘da/>undergna/ 2!" Wednesday, January 15, 2003 U of T Provost Neuman visits UTSC, speaks about Academic Planning Last Tuesday, a special meeting of UTSC’s College Council was held. U of T Vice-President and Provost Shirley Neuman was on hand to speak about the university’s new academic planning exercise, currently referred to as Academic Planning 2003. The process of academic planning will help the university to keep moving forward with its priority of “becoming one of the world’s best public research universities.” To this end, the VP/Provost has published a series of “green papers,” which in matters of public policy are considered something like a “pre-first-draft’, designed to stimulate discussion and provide focus for debate on where, exactly, the university's priorities will lie in future budgets and policy creation. The green-papers represent the very initial stages of the new round of academic planning, and serve as a jumping-off point for discussion that will become future policy. The Provost will be holding several Town Hall meetings over the next 6 weeks, to take input from staff, faculty, students and community-members. Find the green papers at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. Discussion is set to focus on academic freedom and responsibility, improving the student experience (partially through improving diversity within the faculty, staff, and student-body), making education accessible, and increasing interdisciplinary research and teaching. Neuman also spoke about the budget she released last November. Poor stock market performance for U of T's portfolio and government funding that has remained unchanged since the early 1990s have resulted in budget cutbacks for November's budget. The shrinking of U of T’s basic income has been compounded by other exceptional stressors, such as the impending double- cohort, commitments to new construction projects, the implementation of trimestering and other significant one-time expenditures. Despite these complications, Neuman remains positive. “Academic planning should drive the budget [. . .] not the other way around.” Neuman also believes that future budgets will be week PLANNING aided by one-time-only cash infusions, such as the newly announced second-round of SuperBuild funding. The Provost went even further, saying that any future SuperBuild funding received by U of T would go to the satellite campuses. U of T’s tri-campus plan calls for the majority of future growth to be primarily slated for UTSC and UTM. haiku by sachin hingoo wl waked i th woos ids chit ped pnd ¢ batts E 4 HEN, THE Bees aTPAKKED FUOLVAND SEND OVID DU INECK ONO Or tb) ony | Com The Provost’s Office launched the next academic planning process in mid December by posting “green papers” at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. A “green paper” is issued for a consultative phase that precedes the drafting of a planning or © policy document. The “green paper” phase of planning aims to elicit campus-wide discussion about priorities for the next academic plan. The green papers have also been published in the January 13" issue of the Bulletin. During January and February, Provost Shirley Neuman will be holding a series of Town Hall meetings to discuss the “green papers”. This is an opportunity for all members of the University community to contribute their ideas and their sense of priorities to the academic planning process. Please encourage your faculty colleagues, and your graduate and undergraduate students to attend one of these meetings and please attend yourself. All members of the University—students, faculty, staff and alumni—are strongly encouraged to participate in one or more of these fora to share their questions, ideas and responses with each other and the Provost. Following this consultation, a draft academic plan for the 2003-2009 period will be drafted. It will be circulated for further discussion before being taken to Governing Council in late spring. | ARBOR The calendar for the Town Hall meetings follows: _ Friday, January 10, 2003 Thursday, January 16, 2003 Monday, January 27, 2003 Monday, February 3, 2003 | 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm 9:00 am - 10:30 am 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm 9:00 am - 10:30 am __ Innis College, Town Hall, Room 112 _—_ Bahen Centre Information Technology Trinity College OISE/UT 2 Sussex Avenue Auditorium, Room 1160 George Ignatieff Theatre Auditorium, Room G162 40 St. George Street 15 Devonshire Place 252 Bloor Street West Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Monday, January 20, 2003 Wednesday, January 29, 2003 Wednesday, February 5, 2003 _ Medical Science Building 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm 9:00 am - 10:30 am 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm _ MacLeod Auditorium, Room 2158 University College St. Michael’s College University of Toronto at Scarborough 1 King’s College Circle Room 140 Alumni Hall, Room 100 Humanities Wing, 2" floor, Room 216 15 King’s College Circle 121 St. Joseph Street 1265 Military Trail Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm Victoria University Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street Friday, January 24, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University of Toronto at Mississauga Matthews Auditorium Kaneff Centre, Room 137 3359 Mississauga Road North Friday, January 31, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Earth Sciences Centre, Room 1050 25 Wilcocks Street Friday, February 14, 2003 10:00 am- 11:30 am New College Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016 30 Wilcocks Street The Underground Anti-Racist Action tute ste Disappoint and Frighten by Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor On Saturday January 11, several members of The Underground's staff ventured into the crack-addicted wasteland of Queen Street East, in an effort to learn just how bigoted we really are. Surrounded by punks, activists, and other people who wear cargo pants, the issue of racism was debated in every which-way by a curiously all-white panel of speakers. Indeed, does it say something about the legitimacy of Anti-Racist Action Toronto's stance when their group is hardly supported by people of different ethnicities? Can members of the dominant culture effectively discuss racism and oppression with any validity without the views of the oppressed? The ARA’s views and practices are well-meaning, but often irrational. Despite the fairly well thought out “Anti-Racism DIY” workshop, the group spent most of the afternoon denouncing the “growing organization of a fascist presence”. The extremist viewpoints ARA members spouted were not helped any byt the fact that none of the ARA members or organizers were people of colour. The ARA encourages physical violence against white supremacists and other oppressive groups and at the same time, ARA organizers were quick to dismiss “debate” as “beating a dead horse”. Most striking was a statement by one of the organizers which called for us to “gather 200 of our friends and protest on the lawns of Nazi sympathizers” in an effort to ‘out’ them to their neighbors. On the surface, this may seem okay with you, but there is a greater issue at hand here. A group that actively vandalizes a hotel for holding a neo- Nazi conference (as was reported in an ARA publication last year, find it at http://www.web.net/~ara/OTP/ OTP19/fromm.htm), destroying reams of literature and hundreds of dollars worth of property is clearly not a group that is comfortable with the idea that you or | might actually form an opinion of our own. That's something | have a problem with; it is tantamount to insulting my intelligence by saying that I’m too stupid to judge fascist literature as-such. ARA members actually consider themselves to be benevolent censors. It is my contention that anyone, regardless of his or her opinions or beliefs, should be allowed to express themselves, if only to have their opinions ‘put out there’ so that they can be debated. Freedom of speech and expression The ARA told us Nazis are organizing in Scarborough... We asked you: Have you ever seen a skin-head in Scarborough? Year: 3 Name: Dipali va) Name: Vani soa (ef), Tia Siva (rig "No! (both) Name: Krista Watson: Year: 3 | don't think SO. is an idea that | hold very dear, and to say that, while encouraging the silencing of any group, even fascists, would make me a hypocrite. Almost as hypocritical as the ARA, which claims education as one of its goals despite contending that any attempt to argue or debate with a fascist organization is a waste of time. If this is true, then what is the purpose of these workshops other than propaganda for the ARA? With their often violent and militant actions, the ARA has forced the police - and me - to defend the rights of Nazis, and that has been the most profoundly disturbing thing about this event. By stooping to the level of those that the ARA is trying to “oppose and confront’, their organization has proven to me, and the other Underground staff members that attended this event, that they are no better than the fascist organizations that they despise so much. ESS ee oe *He thought we were talking about bald guys... When we asked “Neo-Nazis?” he said: “No.” {sc 2.0% ¢ ,_-http;/www.uts Wednesday, January 15, 2003 >55 UF IDE RS ROUND =. ae — v Ee Tired of students ripping down your ads, although they are stamped... Dont want to walk over to the board everyday and search for text book ads... Tired of spending time making and posting up ads... UTSC students deserve their own collective text book ac | websitelll ” So don't bother wasting your valuable time, just remember this simple website: ttp://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ FREE text service courtesy of UTSC’s offical newspaper The Underground ee ete a te ee oe |“ "RtipYiwww.utsc!ut vie sh WOLDS ri dronto.ca/-Undergnd/ 9 the Underground = -—" = Coiriment $f Me“ UNGETQTOUN GT Tn ee 12 Satan's Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) The of the Aryan man and idealized version woman were_ created to appear extremely sexually appealing. After all) what kind of “master race” would claim that it's ancestors were ugly? ay That look of concern is unmistakably beautiful as it moves like cool spring air over his face... or something like that. I’ve never been one to describe some- one’s physical attributes in any remotely eloquent way. However it seems that many, including myself, have found pleasure in gazing at the one that we geeks all know as Legolas. The charac- ter, brought to life in J.R.R. Tolkiens Lord of the Rings, now has a rather stunning face, thanks to actor Orlando Bloom and some prosthetic ears. In more recent conversations | found that | was not the only one to possess an admiration for this woodland elf. In fact many people, regardless of sexual orientation, find Legolas just as engag- ing as | do. His piercing stare, his calm collective nature in the face of imminent peril (not to mention his subtle flirtatious manner) makes him an all around surreal sex-symbol. But why does Legolas look so fair? The answer to this question lies within both the text of Lord of the Rings along with the two recently-released films. The answer actually pertains to something that in today’s society has become rather looked down upon. There are some strange racial metaphors at work and they create a bizarre universe that is trying to tell us something. I'll admit that | am unsure of the overall message inherent in the books and films, but I'll do my best to make sense of it all. | would like to point out (because some people think that | like to cause controversy just for the sake of doing so), that this is in no way meant to simply just outrage people. Like anything | do, say ~~ or write it’s meant to inspire thought and discussion. So before you get upset over this trifle of a column just think over what | have to say first. All that follows has been derived from both the text and films of Lord of the Rings combined. The Tolkien universe is unlike any other that exists in popular culture. That's because it is a distinctly Aryan universe. The modern idea of the Aryan arose when Hitler came to power in Germany. Hitler claimed that the German peoples were descended from a great race called the Aryans who were noble, wise, and extremely successful conquerors. There were supposed to be tall and slender with blond hair and blue eyes, and were also rather athletic. This is why when Jesse Owens (a black American track star) defeated German athletes at the Berlin Olympic games, Hitler became rather enraged over what he saw as a victory over the Aryan race that he had fought so hard to create (out of thin air). The real Aryans were in fact closely related to Hindu and Buddhist ancestors and in fact have no real connection to any kind of white European. The Aryan philosophy is, to begin with, extremely silly because such a race never existed. But there is a very strange a very strange and often erotic bi-product of all of this. The idealized version of the Aryan man and woman were created to appear extremely sexually appealing. After all, what kind of “master race” would claim that it's ancestors were ugly? Where is this leading? Right into the world of Middle-Earth where Lord of the Rings came alive and Tolkien created a huge Aryan universe. Let's start with our good friends the Elves (including our good-looking friend ""http'/WwwW-utse.Utoronte.ca/~u Adergnd/ | t _. Comment Wednesday, January 15, 2003 Legolas), who appear to represent the Aryans. Physically, the elves are mostly fair-haired and light skinned, slender, and rather athletic. They are the wisest of all beings on Middle-Earth. They are immortal, and they have an uncanny understanding of how the forces of the land work. They are in tune with nature and often have the gift of foresight. In other words, they are the master race. Oh and one more thing, they don’t get along with the Dwarves very well... The Dwarves would represent the Jews in relation to the Aryan philosophy. Physically they are shorter than most, have large noses, huge beards, and two braids that extend from either side of their heads, which always seems to be covered. They really don’t care much for the affairs of outsiders, and _ their main passion lies in the pursuit of wealth beneath the Earth. But that is nothing compared to a certain group under the service of evil. The Uruk-Hai are the orc/goblin mercenaries that were created by the evil wizard Saruman, and have distinct physical resemblances to black people. Physically they are taller, with large upper bodies. Their skin is... well it's black, and for some reason they seem to have dreadlocks. They are controlled by not just any white man, but the whitest of all men: Saruman (who is, indeed, called Saruman the White.) They are bred for ruthless killing, which is what they enjoy the most, and they are incapable of feel- ing anything but a ruthless bloodlust. But what did Tolkien mean by all this? Was he a white supremacist who managed to push his Aryan world into the mainstream? | don’t believe that to be the case because there are some major contradictions in the text and films. Does it seem rather obvious that Tolkien favoured white people? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean he wanted some sort of racial war. In fact, | would say that he wanted the complete opposite. First off, Legolas and Gimli become best friends. Certainly a white suprema- cist and Jew being friends kind of puts my theory on the back-burner. But then again, their friendship arises out of some “So it seems that Tolkien did want Aryans and Jews to get along, even if he still believed in Aryan supe- riority.” rather odd circumstances. Gimli and Legolas become friends after Gimli is smitten by the beauty of the elf queen Galadriel, afterwhich he becomes known as Gimli The Elf Friend. Ah | see, so elves and dwarves can become friends, but only if the dwarf becomes more like the elf. So it seems that Tolkien did want Aryans and Jews to get along, even if he still believed in Aryan superiority. But what of the Uruk-Hai? Well after the defeat of the evil forces (don’t act like | spoiled anything, it’s not like you expected them to win did you?), those who weren't killed became a scattered and nomadic people, wandering the outskirts or dark places of Middle-Earth. What this means in relation to black people | don't really know, or maybe | just don’t want to believe that a story that has brought me so much joy would really imply anything like that. There are other instances of Aryan reference, mostly in the films. lf you think that Saruman isn’t making something that resembles a Nazi salute while addressing his troops, then you need to get your eyes checked. But these are more interpretations of the original story and not really all that relevant. Some people have tried to tell me that all this is just one giant coincidence. Well coincidence is something that | just don’t believe in. Despite all that | want to make it exceedingly clear that | love everything that surrounds Lord of the Rings. A story so elaborate and huge is a wonderful thing to bounce off your imagi- nation. Perhaps it’s my jaded nature but | find the racial metaphors to be wonder- fully amusing, because of the general end of the story. In the end the race of men (the gender roles of the text and films I'll get into some other day), rises to power and 4! Middle-Earth flows into an age of pros- perity and peace. While slowly but surely, the other races quietly disappear from the face of the Earth. This is why | believe that the racial metaphors are meant to represent the disappearance of hatred, bigotry, and genocide. This is because in the story, a society is achieved where the nature of your being is irrelevant, and beings from all walks of like co-exist in peace and harmony, which was not the case before. All that’s left are human beings, coexisting and living in peace. So perhaps the real idealism that Tolkien wanted to promote is made up of some- thing that many of us want to achieve, but will probably never come to pass. They are controlled by not just any white man, but the whitest of all men: Saruman (who is, indeed, called Saruman the White.) 7 9) hito/owwiiats6.iuforonto.ca/—undergnd/ EA EOUES Li pe tl perry Te Meth) ALLER RD y VOOE PSO Ve > 7 The Underground Groundworks Burn-Out The figure pulled his long coat tighter around his body. The cold night air tugged at the folds making the knee-length jacket flare briefly before settling again. Turning he strode slowly down the cracked sidewalk, his head humming slightly as the buzz from the cheap synthahol was beginning to fade. He caught a glimpse of his tired visage out of the corner of his eye. His reflec- tion peered up at him from the dingy tinted window of the abandoned Ford Americar. Dark circles beneath his half squinting eyes set off an eerie contrast to the pallor of his lined face. His dark hair, that was graying slightly, was mussed from the wind and his recent street life. His chin was covered by a scruffy beard that was growing in somewhat lopsided. He sneered tiredly at his hag- gard reflection. It had been days since he had slept for more than a few hours. A mix of stimulants and paranoia forced him to wander aimlessly. He looked up over the low roof of the car as the sound of gunfire crackled somewhere off in the distance. His hand went instinctively into his jacket, grimy fingers curling around the butt of his Salvalette Guardian. The smartlink circuitry came to life in his retina as the induc- tion pad in his palm connected with the sensors in the pommel of the large pistol. With his hand wrapped firmly around the hilt of his Guardian, he moved away from the noise, keeping out of sight behind a row of dilapidated cars. Down the street he spied a gang war raging. The Outlaws and the Halloweeners were at it again, desper- ately fighting over turf. This wasn’t an unusual thing for the Redmond district of downtown Seattle, but it was getting too close for his comfort. Crossing the street he stopped short as a Rolls- Royce Phaeton pulled up in his path. The limousine’s rear door opened and a female voice wafted onto the street, “Get In!” Looking over his shoulder at the nearing gangs, the figure shrugged and slid into the plush interior of the limousine. The door closed as he landed on the cush- ioned rear bench of the Phaeton. Raising his head, his eyes landed on a pair of shapely legs. Continuing his ascent his vision ran over the gorgeous figure of this mysterious female, up her slender neck, and finally came to land on a beautiful pair of steel blue-gray eyes. The pointed ears and delicate features gave away her elven heritage. To the right and left of the elf were two males who had large firearms leveled at the newcomer. Checking himself, he removed his hand from his coat and laid it in his lap carefully. The bodyguards of the elf lowered their weapons but kept them trained upon him. The woman, who seemed to have been sizing him up, spoke in a melodical and sultry voice, “Mr. Morgan | presume?” she asked with a slight smile. “Ya, I'm Morgan, “ he replied cautiously. “Who's askin?” The limo began to purr as it pulled back onto the street. “My name, Mr. Morgan,” she said with a con- temptuous smile, “is Lotus. My employer, Mr. Johnson,” she continued. “is in dire need of your services,” she finished raising an attractive eyebrow. ‘A real smooth talker, Morgan thought to himself. ‘She’s up with all the street lingo, and has the hired muscle to back it up. Must be a fixer, or she could be working for some corp. but then, who wasn’t nowadays.’ Morgan frowned. He didn’t like this, he didn't like this one bit. Not only did he not know where he was going, but he also didn’t know how the drek he got himself into these slotting messes. ‘Fraggit all,’ he thought, ‘l shoulda taken my chances with the motherfraggin’ gangs.’ The elven woman cleared her throat, “Mr. Morgan?” Morgan looked from the window where he had been staring blindly. Quickly he mentally reviewed the conversation up to this point and brought himself up to speed. Attempting to look professional he decided to play it cool. “What kind of services?” he asked in a businesslike tone. To say that Morgan was a professional, would have been true a few years ago. But life as a shadowrunner is tough, and one frag-up can blow your whole career and meal ticket in one fell swoop. Morgan had never been the get rich quick type. That is until he let that fraggin slotter of a rigger talk him into one of the worst schemes ever. Greed. Greed had made him frag over his entire team that night, and for what; a few lousy nuyen. “Well Mr. Morgan,” Lotus continued. “My employer needs you to perform an acquisition.” Morgan looked from the window again, “Personal or Goods?” “Goods, | assure you. My employer finds the former far too messy for his taste.” Morgan replied with a grunt and a nod. Goods smuggling was still a little tricky, but it was a walk down easy street compared to the drek that you have to deal with when you move a body. Gear doesn't panic and go berserk on you. At least there was an upside. “What's the target?” “The target, Mr. Morgan, is an electronic marvel. Unfortunately that is all | can disclose to you at this time. However you will be informed in more detail at a later date.” He nodded in understanding. “What's the security like?” he asked coldly. Inside he was worried. Most corporations had a small army and possible paracritters backing up their security teams. “Well,” replied Lotus, “Il assumed that you would already be familiar with the Renraku Corporation’s security.” “Renraku!” spat Morgan, alarm visibly springing up inside him. Renraku had one of the heaviest secu- rity teams around. He knew personally, he’d been up against them a few years ago. That dreking rigger had talked Morgan into this bonehead plan. “Don't worry,” he said. “None of them will suspect a thing,” He had been so damn cocky. Morgan had gone against every code he had set for himself when he started the biz. All for a few thousand nuyen. It was the money, plain and simple, that had made him betray his entire team that night. When he got back he lived pretty well, at least until his own guilt consumed him and led him to the burned-out waste of flesh he was today. The nuyen he had made had barely been enough to cover the change of identity, and the bribes to get the bounty hunters off his back. He had paid dearly for that night. “Renraku,” he said again more calmly. “Yeah, | know about Renraku.” He pushed down the pain and hatred that welled up inside him. Forcing a passive tone he asked, “How much does it pay?” “My employer has agreed to pay 30,000 nuyen for the run, he is also willing to outfit you with any gear you might require.” Morgan nodded, “I’m gonna need backup. Is yer employer gonna cover that?” “Certainly Mr. Morgan. My employer has already lined up two talented individuals to assist you. He has also asked that | give you this,” she said drawing a wristphone, and a credstik from a pocket in one of her bodyguards’ jackets. “My employer wishes that | give you these as a show of good faith. You have a week to assemble the rest of your team. Until then.” Morgan nodded and took the credstik and the phone from Lotus, checking the balance on the stik he noticed the 5000 nuyen on the LCD readout. Peering out the window he also noticed that the car had stopped moving. The human to Lotus’ right opened the door for him, motioning with his hand cannon for Morgan to get out of the vehicle. As he stepped out onto the cracked sidewalk again he heard that same sultry voice waft out of the car. “We will see you again Mr. Morgan.” He watched as the limo pulled away and drove of down the street before taking note of his surroundings. Looking behind him, he spied the abandoned squat that he called home. Walking up the steps to his doss he was hit with a pang of fear. It had been years since he had done anything like this, and he was horribly out of shape. His hand went to his belly, the once toned and firm muscles, were now flabby and soft from underuse and sythahol abuse. Entering his doss he was nagged by paranoia. Why would anyone hire a washed up runner to do a raid on a corp. that he botched a few years ago? The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He had a bad feeling about this. Pushing the thoughts from his mind he began to wrack his now throbbing brain for the LTG# of a sorcerer chummer that owed him a favor. Dialing the number he figured was the closest thing he waited, hoping it was right. It rang and rang for a good ten minutes. Finally annoyance got the better of Morgan's patience. “Motherfragger!” he spat reaching for the disconnect button. From the blank screen of the wall vidphone a sleepy voice said, “What'd you call me?” Morgan snatched back his hand and looked at the blank screen. “Hey, is that you Haze? How ya doin’ chummer?” The voice on the other end mumbled something derogatory. Morgan flipped on his vidscreen showing his face. “Well, well, if it isn’t ol’ Burn-Out,” the voice said mockingly. Morgan inwardly scowled, but kept his face pas- sive. Haze may have been the biggest dreking slotter in Seattle, but Morgan needed him. Besides, Haze knew about life on the streets, and he was as experienced as Morgan if not more. Morgan also knew that if he tried to take on a corp. like Renraku with a bunch of rookies they'd all get themselves slotted. “Yeah, hello Haze,” he replied with a phony smile. “So how are the kids?” Haze turned on his vidscreen, displaying an over- weight, middle-aged dwarf, who was sneering coldly at Morgan. “Cut the drek chummer, whadd'ya want?” ‘Direct and to the point as usual.’ Morgan smiled for real. “Well chummer, an associate of mine has asked for my services, and | needed some magic support. Are ya interested in a goods ‘Snatch and Grab?” “Now that all depends omae, who's the target and how much does it pay?” Haze said with a half-smile on his fat face. “The pay is 30,000 nuyen. The Johnson wants me and a couple of friends to acquire some electronic doo- hicky from the Renraku Corporation.” “Renraku!?!” Haze looked astonished. “You got RR nary Ulsc, UfQrontO ca/—uNderand/., Voetqdoa is dee ee oe ee | Groundworks some kind of death wish with that place or something?” Morgan frowned, “Do you want the nuyen or not?” he asked voice flat. Haze pondered a moment, scratching his hairless and obese chin. “Well 30,000 is a little lower than |’m used to, but | think | can do it this once.” Morgan knew he could do it. The truth was that Haze hadn't had a job for a couple of months now and he was beginning to hit the hard times. Nodding with another phony smile on his face Morgan said, “Okay chummer, I'll call you later this week so that we can set up the meet. It seems that the Johnson is supplying some of his own goons to assist us.” Haze nodded and lit a nicostik, with a smile he hit the disconnect button blanking the screen. Morgan let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He sat on a ratty cushion and blinked at his fatigue. His muscles ached and his head was pounding from the after effects of the synthahol. Resting his head on the dirty carpet he closed his eyes and slept. The sound of the vidphone ringing, made Morgan spring to his feet with his Guardian in hand. The night- mare replaying again in his head. Peering about in the dim light he laughed at himself and holstered his gun. Walking to the wall he pressed the answer button. On the vidscreen was an attractive female face. She looked to be human, except for the tiny tusks that protruded from her bottom jaw. The pretty ork had almond eyes like a cat. Morgan sat locked in that gaze for a few moments before she spoke. “You Morgan?” she scowled. “That depends on who you are,” he replied. “My name is Zen. Lotus said you needed help,” she said with a chuckle. “Lotus said that eh?” He must have looked dis- pleased because her scowl deepened, if that was pos- sible. “Look Morgan, | like this drek about as much as you do, so let's just talk shop okay?” Morgan liked her already. Giving her another look over he took in the large dragon tattoo that used the dual datajacks in her temple for eyes, and the tool shop in the background of the vidscreen. ‘Some kind of techie,’ he thought. ‘Maybe a Decker.’ “So Zen, what do you do?” “| fix things; electronics are my specialty. | can get you past any maglok ever made,” she smiled prettily, pleased with herself. “I also run the ‘trix.” “Did Lotus send anyone else?” Zen scowled again, banishing the attractive smile. “Natch, some trog rigger, that goes by the handle ‘Jester,’ or something goofy like that.” Anew grinning face pushed it’s way onto the screen. “Dat's me chummer; Jester!” The large troll took a brief bow, which shoved Zen farther back into the tool shop. Stifling a laugh, Morgan smiled. ‘Only in Seattle he thought.’ “You ever done any Security rigging?” “A bit, but mostly I like da drones,” replied Jester happily. Morgan suggested meeting to make preparations. Jester agreed and promised to bring along Zen, who looked reluctant. After disconnecting, Morgan called Haze again to inform him of the meet. Morgan was halfway through his soykaf and Haze was halfway through a dozen donuts at the little coffee shop on I-5, when Jester’s Ford Canada Bison pulled up out front. Morgan tapped Haze on the arm and pointed out the window. Haze looked up with a mouthful of crul- ler and glanced in the direction Morgan was pointing. “That them?” mumbled Haze spitting bits of cruller onto the plastiwood table at which they sat. Morgan nodded and raised a hand of greeting to them through the window. “Cute,” said Haze after swallowing. Morgan smiled to the pair as the sat in the vacant chairs at the small table. Jester grinned, and Zen gave a mock smile before fiddling with some tools on what looked to be a small circuit board. Morgan made intro- ductions around the table, to which Zen only grunted and muttered something about “modifying conversion power by four amps.” Morgan smiled to himself. He explained the run to his new teammates as he knew it. Every once in a while Zen would nod and mumble her understanding. After finishing a fresh soykaf, they all agreed to meet on Friday to make the final arrange- ments and to meet with Lotus. On the Friday they all met at a safehouse that was set up through one of Haze’s contacts. Everyone was in their best dressed. Morgan had spent the night at a bed and breakfast. After a shave and a haircut, he bought new clothes and had polished and cleaned his Salvalette Guardian. Haze was dressed in some finely cut clothing that managed to conceal his massive girth. Jester was sitting on one of beds wearing tailored armor clothing, his Remmington 990 shotgun sitting in his lap. Zen was decked out in black fatigues and an army hat that covered the tops of her ears; her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. A cyberdeck was slung across her back, and a small tool kit lay at her feet. It was close to 8:00 when the call came from Lotus. After introducing themselves, Lotus took down all of the supplies that they required for the run. “I can have those to your location within the hour,” she said. “Now here are the specs. on the item you will be acquiring.” Typing something on a keypad offscreen, a smaller vidwindow popped up in the corner of the vid. A small rotating jet black cyberdeck appeared. “This is the Renraku Raider, the fastest cyberdeck in existence, and with a MPCP of 16 it is also one of the toughest. This prototype model is the only one in existence, and with a response increase rating of 4, it doesn’t take a genius to see why it is so valuable to my employer. We need you to acquire this technological marvel, and return it to its rightful owner. After acquisition you must destroy any remaining documents in reference to the prototype. Failure is not an option.” Morgan was mentally memorizing when he noticed Zen staring at the pop-up vidwindow and looked to be Salivating. Lotus wished them all luck and left with Morgan a LTG# that she could be reached at after the run. The vidscreen disconnected snapping Zen out of her trance. She looked around her and blushed prettily. Morgan’s brow furrowed as he began to notice her more female charms. Aside from her tough exterior she was still a girl at heart. He gazed over her pleasant curves and well muscled form. She turned back to them and caught him looking at her. She flushed in embarrassment, and then in anger. “What are you looking at?” she said coldly. Morgan shrugged and attempted to conceal his own embarrassment, when a knock came at the door. Instantly the runners took up strategic positions around the room. ; “Delivery!” called a male voice from the other side of the door. Drawing his Guardian, Morgan flung open the door and jammed the pistol in the waiting figure’s face. The young delivery boy went stark white and held very still. “Uh, MME Mr. Morgan?” he stammered. “That’s me chummer.” “PPEpackage for you, ssir.” Motioning for Jester to get the large box from the hallway, Morgan smiled at the kid and signed for the package. “Thanks chummer,” he said as Jester carried in the box. With a wink, Morgan closed the door in the kid’s face. Holstering the pistol once again, he went through the box distributing the gear and getting it all prepared. The four climbed into Jester’s Bison and peeled off down the street. The engine whined as the turbocharg- ing kicked in. As they neared the Renraku Facility, Morgan thanked fate for the overcast night. Not even the moon could penetrate the cloak of darkness that fell over the city. Parking in a remote location a few blocks away, the four figures stole off into the night towards the unsus- pecting compound. Like four shadows they drifted through the alleys ever nearing the fence lined walls that protected the Renraku building. Cutting easily through the chain link fence, the four slipped past a passing patrol unseen due to an invisibil- ity spell cast by Haze. They came to a security door that would grant them access to the building. Everyone held their breath as Zen fiddled with the maglok. Sliding the panel off she tripped the opening mechanism by short circuiting the master control. The door slid open with a quiet hiss. Morgan steadied himself, pushing down feel- ings of fear and anxiety as he drew his Guardian. Haze dropped the spell that hid them from view. The team looked at each other and paused briefly as if to give a silent ‘Good Luck’ to one another. Morgan motioned the others inside and looked at the compound behind him. All his old memories came rushing back, the fear, the gunfire, the screams as his teammates were cut down. The smell of blood. The sick maniacal laughter from the rigger. He had tried to get Morgan too, but Morgan was too quick for him. He blew that motherfraggers head clean off. It served him right the sick bastard. He shuddered. Trying to clear his mind of old memo- ries he took a deep breath. Zen laid a hand on his shoulder, “Hey you coming or what?” She whispered. He nodded entering the dimly lit hallway he closed the door behind him, knowing that it was now or never he had to set things right... WET EL e) (im ate) g Special ag Ke) (=Log o From: Council on Student Services - Enhancement Fund Purpose: For projects enhancing student life at UTSC i.e. club events, cultural events or artistic presentations etc. This is an opportunity to provide student initiatives extra funding! Who qualifies for the student enhancement fund?? Please refer to http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~css/ for more information. Or the Office of Student Affaires and Services Project Submission Deadlines: 1. Monday, January 21%, 2003 2. Monday, March 18*, 2003 The Underground | The Underground eee ee UTSC’s Normality set to stage at U of T Drama Fest by Keith Friedlander Arts Editor The University of Toronto Drama Festival will be returning to Hart House Theatre next week for its four-night run of original one-act plays. With eleven different projects selected from nine dif- ferent drama organizations throughout U of T, the festival promises to be an eclectic and interesting collection of per- formances. Last Saturday Hart House held their initial workshop where the dif- ferent presenting groups were lectured about the festival's schedule and pro- cedure, and given advice on advertising and promoting the festival on their own campuses. The workshop was also an oppor- tunity for the different groups to show a sample scene from their plays. Amongst the different samples was a creative sim- ulation of a subway ride by the Victoria College Drama Society that will be seen in their play Move It, as well as an intrigu- ing scene by the St. Michael’s College Drama Society that revisited Ibsen's Doll’s House in their own rendition called Henrik’s House. But perhaps my (biased) favorite was the comedic con- versation between a hyper literary agent and an unsuspecting apartment resident Chronic Written by: Linda Griffiths Directed by: Simon Heath Julianne Baragar in UTSC’s sole submission, Normality. The Underground had a chance to speak with Matt Riley, co-writer and director of Normality, about the play, the festival and writing in general. “Basically it’s an absurdist type play where there’s a lot of confusion about events that happen. People get blamed for people doing things to other people,” Matt explained. Following Joe and Dana, two housemates whose apartment is con- stantly barged in on by their neighbours, Matt described Normality as a circle of complicated blame. The big twist? The play proceeds in reverse, beginning with the conclusion and working backwards. “Its just kind of strange like that, it goes in a weird fashion,” Matt continued. “And its basically about people who don't care about important things at all, people who just care about superficial things.” ‘Normality is an older project of Matt's that he wrote with his friend Ethan Cole for last year’s Sear’s Drama Festival. Not satisfied with the play's previous attempt, Matt is more confident that this year it will be done right. “... hopefully it'will be a lot better this time. | have a stage director, technical director, it'll be good,” said Matt, going on to explain that the U of T Drama Festival is a far more organized event than other festivals. Featuring: Caroline Gillis, Brooke Johnson, Holly Lewis, J.D. Nicholsen, Eric Peterson and Graeme Summerville Playing at the Factory Theatre (125 Bathurst St.) January 4th to February 2nd “Either the production would be really good and there wouldn't be an original script, or they'd have an original script and the rest would be mediocre. But in this one you pretty much have to be really good at everything and you can't fuck around. This is very serious.” Matt also has some big shoes to fill being the only UTSC submission in the festival this year. Last year the UTSC Drama Society won the awards for Best Production and Technical Achievement, helping Erindale sweep the downtown campus in the five different award cat- egories. They also went on to take part in the Canadian Universities Drama Festival. He seemed confident though, saying “... it's a lot more serious, and its turning it up a notch. Because every- thing has to be good with this to win, and Is it Making Sense yet? MAKING SENSE is an inexpensive and indispensable guide for students writing essays, reports, and exams for any subject. It includes information on doing: research in the library e using illustrations in essays and reports e giving oral presentations e writing tests and exams e using graphic presentation software and much more! 16 It is the age of the virus. Human Immunodeficiency Virus. West Nile Virus. ILoveYou Virus. In her new play, Chronic, Linda Griffiths attempts to link the technological to the biological in an unintelligible fantasy of chronic illness and computer crashes. Petra (Caroline Gillis) is a_ thirty- something cyber queen, suffering from a thoroughly anti-dramatic illness that resembles Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Though she is often too tired to leave her bed, she continues to work sporadi- cally for a dot-com venture as a Flash designer. There, she is surrounded by her overzealous boss Oscar (Graeme Somerville), the young and pert Amber (Holly Lewis), and Chris (J.D. Nicholsen), her lover and nursemaid. Throughout the show, these characters obsess over her illness while she undergoes treatment administered by the bizarre physician/ naturopath Diane (Brooke Johnson). Chronic stumbles through tired scenes of illness, frantic computer crashes, sensual treatments, and sexual bedside companionship to a conclu- sion that neither surprises nor resolves. Griffiths has too much to say about our viral reality, and fails to develop a coher- ent thesis. The audience is left to deal with a mess of political and social com- mentary with no dramatic thread. The one redeeming element of the production, and of Griffiths’ script, is the character of the Virus, played by Eric Peterson. He is old, he is nimble, he is sensual, he is desperate and he is a thrill to watch. The Virus hides behind a wall of plastic strips that form a back- drop to the large, blue and purple bed consuming the stage. There, he shim- mys around and oozes out Griffiths’ most interesting speeches, emerging every so often to negotiate with his host body. Though Chronic has moments of humour and eerie ecstasy, it is proof that a play about an unshakeable virus is no more interesting or enjoyable than having such a virus oneself. WRITING & STUDENT'S Guioe Ta RESEARCH AND FOURTR EOMmaAN OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS CANADA 70 WYNFORD DRIVE, DON MILLS, ON M3C 19 WWW.OUP.COM/CA that’s what we're here to do, win.” The Drama Festival will be starting next Wednesday, January 22 at 7:30 p.m. and will be running until Saturday, January 25. There will be three plays an evening at the Hart House Theatre and the tickets will be $12 ($10 for students), a fair price to pay for a number of great performances. Normality will be the third play performed on the Thursday of the festival. As for Matt, he’s already working ona number of play scripts for future projects, but he’s more excited about the writing he plans to get done over the summer. “I’m working on two or three different plays, but they’re all... they're not too great. But hopefully this summer I’m going to write a British murder mystery and put that in next year’s festival. Hopefully.” Purchase a copy in your campus bookstore before you start your next research essay or before your next exam! Also Available: Making Sense: Geography & Environmental Sciences Making Sense: Psychology & . the Life Sciences ; Making Sense: Social Sciences http: /Avww utst utdrohto:ca’~underdnd/ Life ; Wednesday, January 15, 2003 Drama Society packs Student Village Centre for an evening of coffee, snacks karaoke, and performance by Chris McKinnon _ Editor-in-Chief won re ne . ——— ae ee Se re 17 The Underground How to Get Off to A Good Start by Meghan Hurley Underground Staff Being a university student is one of the most com- plex and demanding jobs there is. What other job do you know of that requires you to learn large quantities of information, write reports and essays routinely to be graded on their quality, meet deadlines, recall from memory previously learned material and do work to others’ exact specifications? Very few employment posi- tions require you to take on such tedious and time-con- suming tasks. For students balancing a full course load and part-time work, what can be suggested to lower the stress levels of exhausted, over worked students at University of Toronto? The 7-step model of success is the answer to eliminate all-nighters, caffeine addictions and nervous breakdowns. The staff at UTSC’s Advising and Career Centre, located in the S-Wing, on the third level by the Registrar's Office, suggests the following seven-step model of success to reach your academic goals, without falling into the common pitfall of procrastination. First and foremost, you must examine your identity. ls neuropsychology really a program you want to study for four years of your life? You have to answer this ques- tion in relation to your strengths, weaknesses and skills. Once you have established what your identity is, and what you would like to spend the rest of your life doing, you can move onto the goal setting stage of the success How will setting goals help to ensure academic success for students? If you are not here because your parents forced you to attend a post secondary institu- tion, then you are here to ensure your acceptance into graduate school, or a certain profession. You have to determine what your goals are, and where you want to be four years from now after finishing your degree. Deciding what goals will be possible to aspire to will contribute to your success in university, as well as beyond the walls of UTSC. According to the Career Centre, you must. next develop a plan of action. You do not want to define a plan of action that you are unable to implement because of inadequate time, energy or money. You must be able to carry out the action plan you develop, or you will not be able to find your way to academic success. Motivation is step four of the success model that you must take into consideration. You must have a desire to get out of bed each morning so that you may take the next step in your plan of action in order to overcome adversity and be successful. Once motivation kicks you into gear, you must prac- tice the art of discipline. Do not succumb to procrastina- tion or temporary setbacks. Starting a major research essay the night before it is due will not lead you to success. With discipline comes step six of the model of Life | Comics success, flexibility. You have to modify your strategies, whether that refers to study habits or research methods, and adapt your action plan when changes occur. If you fail an exam because you studied the lecture notes with- out opening the textbook, you may change your plan of action to memorize the textbook for your next exam. The final, and most gratifying stage in the model of success is reaching an outcome. Finally finishing a semester, graduating university, or even just completing an assignment is step seven of the model. Instead of getting stressed out over school just follow these steps and you will work your way toward a degree and a pro- fession. Along with these helpful tips, you may also want to consider time management. In order to avoid doing work at the last minute you should develop a weekly schedule of tests, assignments and work hours. This will help you determine when you will have time to complete, without rushing, all of the weekly tasks that you have been bombarded with. In addition to a daily or weekly to-do-list, it may be helpful to prepare a long- term list of work tasks so you can adequately prepare for the completion of it. COMICS SELF -HA[RED UNDER THE RUBRIC OF OPPOSITIONAL DIALECTIC, KANT FORMULATES HIS THIRD ANTINOMY.-° by sarah Barmak Rrrahy x aoe WHICH ARISES FROM _ THE TRANSCE NOEN- , TAL QUESTION OF FREEDOM AND CAUSALITY. " http:/Ayww.utsc.utorente.ca/~undergnd/ Events© =‘) Wednesday, January 15, 2003: of event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is nee involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Ongoing. Jan/Feb Mambo Italiano. “Coming out has never been so much fun.” Elgin Theater. Info at 416.593.4142. Ongoing. Writing Center Seminars. A must attend for most UTSC students. Topics include passive sentences, introductions and conclusions, thesis statements, and conjunctions. Check your local wall for an ad or the Writing center in the Library for more information (date, time, topics) Ongoing. Be involved in human rights. Hope-Cards are currently posted on Amnesty International’s bulletin boards across from the H-wing cafeteria, as well as outside B-505. Stop by and sign them. Ongoing. Be a statistic! Sign up for psychology experiments outside of S-319. Promote human understanding. Sometimes they give --you money... Ongoing. Play chess - Chess Challenge Club. www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~chess Jan 6-15 MORAL FIBRE: Dress Codes From Purity to Wickedness From the Victorian wedding gowns to fetish wear, Moral Fibre reveals the ways in which textiles and clothing convey messages about good, evil, guilt and innocence. _ Textile Museum of Canada (55 Centre = St.) NOW UNTIL JAN 15 BADART Miklos Legrady, 310 Bathurst. 416-203-1846. Jan 15 Wine and Cheese Social. Brought to you by the ABCS. 5-7PM. Come meet your Professors and T.A.s in a more comfortable setting. Jan 15 OIP Info session12-2 in S- 403. Find out more about 2003 Ontario Internship Program. All day info table in the meeting place. Jan 16, 17, 18 2003 Toronto Youth Safety Symposium. Make the city safe for kids. Metro Hall (55 John St.) Free, but registration is required. See www.toronto.ca/youthsym for more information. _ Jan 16 Knowledge Media Design: Creating New Knowledge Infrastructures. The Lecture Theatre, ~ Room BA1190 [1* floor]. Bahen Centre _ for Information Technology. 40 St. a2 pate es ae eee 2 ee 8 kw 8 ee ee 2 en 8 2 2 ee ee en ee eee ttp://www-utsc.utoronto‘ca/~undergnd/ *! George St. 4-5:30PM. More info at www.kmdi.utoronto.ca. Jan 16, 17, 18 2003 Toronto Youth Safety Symposium. Make the city safe for kids. Metro Hall (55 John St.) Free, but registration is required. See www.toronto.ca/youthsym for more information. Jan. 17 Ski trip. Sign up in the Meeting Place. $20 ski and $30 snowboard for ABCS members. Non-members $25 and $30. Jan 17 A Journey to God. Put on by the Thaqalayn Muslim Association. 6: 15 to 9:45, free. Guest speakers Dr. Wright, Dr. Liakat Takim, and Raheel Raza. More info and reserve seats at www.utsc.thagalayn.org. © Jan 17 Rui Umezawa reading. Noon in B516. NOW UNTIL JAN 17 Theatre posters: Worth A Thousand Words $8, students $5. DESIGN EXCHANGE (234 Bay). 416-216-2160. Jan 18 SMERK presents Hardkore Pi feat DJ’s C64, Skeeter, Antigen Shift, Flatline Construct and many more. 294 College St. (Oasis). 9PM-???, $8, 19+ Jan 18 Aatma. A Journey to the Soul. Toronto Center for the Arts. Find more information at www.aatma.ca. tickets available through Ticketmaster. 416.410.5086 Jan 19 Toronto DARK WRITERS GROUP Meetings All interested in literary arts are welcome. 7-8:30 pm Tequila Bookworm (490 Queen St. W.). Free. Contact squinlan@bpal.com for information. Jan.20 Amnesty International Cafe: Human Rights for Girls! feat. Spirit Wind. Victory Cafe, 581 Markham Street. Jan. 21 “Questioning Your Sexual Identity” workshop. Gay? Queer? Anxious? Bisexual? Confused? Lesbian? Transgendered? Curious? Creatively explore your sexual identity... Group Room A, Counseling and Learning Services, Koffler Student Services Building, 214 College St. 5 - 7pm. Call Marilyn or Scott for more info 416-978-0374. Jan. 23 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Jan 24 Diya...the Flame that Lights the Soul. Put on by the Pakistani Students Association. All welcome. Strictly Formal event. More info at www.psautsc.tk, or call Sophia at 416.995.3344. Tickets $35+. Woodbine Banquet and Convention hall. Jan 25 PLEASURES OF SIN feat. DJ’s Patrick DSP, Philth, Remedi, Apathy and more. 298 Brunswick (Labyrinth). $5, 19+, 10PM-3AM Jan 28 JENG YI (Korean Drum Ensemble). The Cultural Affairs Music Committee presents MUSIC OF ALL LATITUDES. 6PM in the Meeting Place. PYWC. Jan 30-ongoing. Co-ed Naked Interhouse Volley Ball. Well, not really naked. But sign up anyway. Put together a team of 6-10 for $20 at the Athletic center service desk. Games last all semester and are on Thursdays from 4-7. ONTARIO PUBLIC SERVICE 2003 ONTARIO Internship Program www.internship gov.on.ca Move towards a rewarding career and make a difference! The Ontario Internship Program is a paid, two-year employment opportunity that offers you OR CALL 1 888 jobgrow APPLICATION DEADLINE January 31, 2003 career development in key professional fields. The Program also offers an open road to a vast diversity of business ASSIGNMENTS BEGIN” May 2003 experiences across a wide-range of ministries. Apply now! Be a part of a new generation of public service professionals, and make a difference by joining the Ontario Public Service! Ontario Ontario Public Service: an Equal Cpportunity Employer The Underground 6—K. ne LIGIER OOOEEEL EE Ra ee ‘= Invites Vou To The Following Positions Peesident t Vice-Poesideart Acadeqntcs Vice-President Operations Vice-President Students bees Officer | fermputer & Mathematical Sciences Representative Humanities Representative Life Sciences Representative Management sep resentative Social Sciences Representative hysical & Eaviranmental ferences & Nomination. Period: Jan 28 - Feb 12 For more.info visit the SCSU office (5330) on Www.scsu,.ca Wednesday January 22, 2003 Brief News i TSC's student Newspaper since 1980 | oe Volume 22, Issue 16 The Followin g Positions Are Available: President VWiee-President Academics Vice-President Qperations Vice-President Students Sacia!l Activities Officer Clubs Officer Computer & Mathematical Sciences Representative Humanities Representative Life Sciences Representative Management Representative Social Sciences Representative Physical & Environmental Sciences Representative Nominanon, Period: 1, 2 For more ipfo, vist : (8339) on we FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT at THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO aS AP Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? Are you interested in a career that involves: * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT * COMMUNICATIONS * PHILANTHROPY Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni.utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S. Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle between 9:00am — 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian(@ utoronto.ca Wednesday, January 22, 2003 _ Culture Jamming 101 li sucked. p.9 The Peace Rally... Why did you bring your kids? p.7 Also in this Issue: Letters p.5. Peetecteonon _ Events Listings: p.l 9 The News in Brief... p.6 Other News (or Views) Construction Continues p.8 Life Arts Philosophy and the Comic Book Artist p.10 p.12 p.16 The . Editor-in-Chief U Nn d e [ Q E O U Nn d Associate Editors Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung Manager Contributors: David Hale, Julianne Baragar News Editors Special thanks to guest Art Director, John Arts Editor Loerchner, for the fancy-schmancy cover- design. Send gifts to John, c/o The Underground, oe at the address below and somewhat to the right. if Editor _ Graphics Editor Mail: The Underground, U of T T Scarborough Ondine Editor - 1265 Military Trail, Room 58 ___ Scarborough, ON - ee Advertising Manager oo . MIC 1A4- (in the potable) . Phone: 416.287. 7054 : 416.287.7055 . undergnd@utsc.utoronto, ca : ie te: sliwww.scar.utoronto. al-undergn 8 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Editorial p.4 What a TRIP: Safer Drug Use Through Education Production Manager Associate Production Gordon Lane _ Christian Hice: Accounting Manager : - Mpte i Accounting Assistants | _ MillleNg Catch Da Flava Columns Haiku p.7 Weekly Satan's Bakesale p.17 Diversions p.18 Groundworks p.14 (A sci-fi adventure, by David Hale) Chris McKinnon Letters and Opinions Policy Sachin Hingoo At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such Greg Brown material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they James Relunia include the writer’s name and student number. _ Dan Sharpe : Submissions become the property of The Keith Friedlander Underground and may or may not be published at _ the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on ___ the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it i is So acknowledged. on ‘Matio Kangeswaren _ By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely (especially in the case of libelous or malicious . sebinissions) conesy of the snarky editors. _ _dulere Lam For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions . coly contact Hee QUE! utoronto.ca _ consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national - advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The-UndergroyvAdass aisha nnkne Editoriab’ . Rael says YES to clones... What would Jesus say? By February 5", as many as five human clone babies will have been born, courtesy of the good people at Clonaid. The company, which bills itself as “the first human clone company,” is confident that it will soon be able to supply DNA proof from one of the five children. Scientists and medical researchers remain skeptical... People the world over are talking about cloning again... Is it ethical? Is it possible? Did aliens create the human race? So maybe the Raelians seem a bit whacked. So maybe WE LOVE LOVE (and so do you, admit it!) We're currently accepting Valentine's Day greetings/personals! Tell that hottie you've been checking her/him out with the safe cloning has been some sort of creepy sci-fi topic that used i intl to only crop up in horror-flicks and pulp fiction. So maybe anonymity of newsprint there will be five clones living among us within the next two weeks... Maybe, just maybe, people are getting a little too Example - worked up about all this. ; ar ; fas h The fact of the matter is that a baby clone has the same YoU: Eating roti in the H-Wing Cafe in that sexy DNA as her mother. And the truth is in the details: That way you eat your Otel. baby is really a lot more like her mother’s twin, than an ‘ ‘ sort of scary monster. If cloning is to be outlawed, then “ ME: Eyeing you from behind my copy of 100 ee of should we outlaw twins. Make them illegal. Take those Solitude and beating off. Meet me in the S-Wing twins away from their parents and put them in concentration stairwell on Friday! camps. What will we do with all these genetic freaks running around? The only answer is to lock them all up and throw away the key. There isn’t much ethical to think about. The Bible says cloning is wrong, right? Jesus would never Send your message via the technopoly of the Web to: love a clone. This past weekend, the Toronto Star reported that a underground_love@ace-of-base.com majority of Canadians thought that cloning human embryos for research to help cure diseases was fine and dandy. But if you asked them whether or not it was okay to grow a whole clone, instead of just a few stem cells, then suddenly an overwhelming majority were opposed. Why? Is there really such a huge difference between a cloned embryo and a cloned baby? Neither can talk or walk or be of much service to society. Oh, but embryos don't look like people. We don’t mind growing some clone tissue if it'll replace Uncle Andy's soused liver, but when Aunt Linda and her About the Cover wife want to have a baby of their own they should adopt or buy some semen or find a man. Huh? Cloning really was/is an inevitability. Science and Technology have been on a mad rampage for some time Anti-war protestors rally through Toronto’s now, and they show no signs of stopping. The ability to a Nathan Philips Square. And not everyone Sachin says, This year, say it with haiku! make a baby that matches you genetically isn’t really such an earth-shattering thing; Nature has been doing it willy-nilly with twins and triplets for eons. We don't need to fear those waS a granola-eating hippy wearing a smelly wool poncho. See page / for more... cute little clone babies (that is, if they really are clones...) They're pretty harmless, being infants and all. Now as for the Raelians, they're something else entirely. The mainstream-media likes to rag on them, so at the Underground we'll give them the benefit of the doubt. At the very least, they know how to hold a wicked press- conference, spin the papers into a frenzy and keep a whole lot of CNN-addled brains buzzing about what they're up to. Nowadays, the ability to catch the attention of a couple hundred million people is a whole lot scarier than a handful of toothless, unweaned clones. Can you say subliminal messages? For the latest updates, or to buy your own clone, check out the website at http://www.clonaid.com/ Is. hard io bee that c a man is telling the _ truth when you. know that) you would lie if you~ it & Mens a Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief 4 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ee ee Letters Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Positive Space to make UTSC more welcoming... Dear Editor, On behalf of the Principal's Advisory Committee on Positive Space, | would like to thank you for the thoughtful editorial that appeared in the November 27 issue of the Underground (“Positive Space Campaign is back” — Issue 12, Vol. 22). While it is true that the committee went for several months without a chair, Principal Thompson has now taken steps to ensure that it will continue its work throughout this academic year and into the first year of the next Principal’s tenure. We have already held three meetings since Nov. 20, and the membership has risen from eight to about 20 members. The Positive Space initiative was established at UTSC to address concerns about homophobia, raise the visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer (LGBTQ) issues, and educate students, staff and faculty about equity issues. Our broader goal is to make UTSC a more welcoming place for all of its LGBTQ citizens, to combat discrimination and harassment, and to help ensure that the quality of Itfe for LGBTQ individuals is enhanced on all campuses. Your editorial was accurate in describing the UTSC environment as sometimes threatening. There have been documented instances of verbal abuse, removal of stickers and posters, and even a bogus poster campaign which exploited our Positive Space logo to deliver negative messages about queer people. The Positive Space sticker/ poster campaign is a simple but important part of our strategy. Those who display these signs are not only telling LGBTQ people on campus that they are welcome and respected; they are also telling the rest of the UTSC community that they agree with the ideals of equity that the University of Toronto upholds. This is just one example of how we draw support from Allies who are willing to stand up and be counted. | should add that this is also why the Committee recently asked for the removal of the Positive Space posters that had been placed outside the H-Wing cafeteria: it is not possible to guarantee that a public place is a positive space, so the posters did not convey the right message. Your editorial suggested that the Positive Space committee accomplished very little last year, but in fact there were several important events, including the kick-off events and the series of staff training seminars run by Jude Tate, the Coordinator of LGBTQ Resources and Programs. This year we have built upon this foundation with the full cooperation of the administration and plenty of help from the members of the student group, LGBTQ@SC. The Positive Space banner now has a permanent home in the Meeting Place, the bulletin board has been installed (at about 1/3 the cost you mentioned), Human Resource Services will be improving its communication with new faculty and staff regarding LGBTQ resources on campus, and thanks to the efforts of hard-working student activists, it looks like there may at last be a queer space for students, faculty and staff here at UTSC. We have much more on our plate, and we challenge the Underground, its readers, and indeed the entire UTSC community to join us in making our campus a place that is free from discrimination and harassment. Supporters are welcome to join us at our monthly meetings (see our bulletin board for details), and to help us with the concrete tasks that will lead to an equitable environment. Ron Smyth For the Principal's Advisory Committee on Positive Space smyth@utsc.utoronto.ca ss mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters Vandalize UTSC! Please! To the Vandals of UTSC: I'm writing to say how much appreciate your work. | see it all over campus on lockers, in the washrooms, and in the study spaces. While some critics complain about your efforts - and indeed the Underground has published several pieces on it in the past - | would like to thank you for taking the time to put it there. You heard me, thank you. As a student Coordinator of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Queers of UTSC (LGBTQ@SC), one of the many issues | actively combat is homophobic graffiti. Remember earlier this year when you defaced the posters of a queer student running for a position in SCSU (while other students’ posters were not similarly defaced)? Or how you’ve consistently torn down the LGBTQ Positive Space stickers on my locker (while other students’ lockers are rife with stickers which aren't defaced)? You'll be pleased to know that your handiwork has inspired us to plan our own equity-awareness campaigns promoting a fluid view of sexuality, gender, and culture. If there isn’t any vandalism or graffiti on campus we can't confront and report it. But thanks to you, there is! We present this proof at our meetings with UTSC administration and, in response, UTSC is compelled to stand up and demonstrate its support for our community-building initiatives. Among our various avenues of support is a groundbreaking show of permanent queer visibility: we have a brand new glassed-in bulletin board in the B-Wing, which we'll use to showcase the Positive Space campaign, provide contact information to LGBTQ students, staff, faculty, or alumni, advertise LGBTQ@SC and downtown events, and provide general sexuality awareness to the campus. This is largely in response to having our posters torn down (now they’re fixed to the wall and behind glass, and | doubt they will be torn down anymore). In other words, your hatred gets us results. Thanks for the vandalism, UTSC! Keep it coming. Brian LGBTQ@SC, Coordinator The Underground Will the Norwalk Virus Take Over UTSC? The Norwalk Virus has hit several UTSC students, following recent’ Toronto outbreaks. The most notable of these outbreaks happened at Toronto’s Sunnybrook Hospital last November, where the emergency department was shut down for several days after over 40 staff and 14 patients had contracted the virus. There is also word of several outbreaks of the virus happening throughout the Toronto area right now. Norwalk Virus is a viral gastroenteritis infection. Symptoms include vomiting, diarrhea, and painful abdominal cramps. The virus only lasts 24-60 hours, and is not life threatening; the most dangerous aspect of the infection is the risk of dehydration. Once infected there is nothing that can be done to stop it. After the worst of the illness has occurred, you feel as if you have been laid out on a cold concrete floor and repeatedly kicked for approximately 38 minutes and 45 seconds by a group of 15 to 16 men, all about 25 years old and wearing steel-toed boots. Hurrah. So make sure the Aramark staff is washing their hands, because “people get Norwalk virus infection by swallowing food or water that has been contaminated with stool from an infected person.” B-Wing Cafeteria Repeatedly Out of Large Chocolate Milks The title says it all. Aren’t you angry? Friday Night Forgetfulness Campus residence legend Crazy Joe celebrated the big 2-0 this past Friday by organizing a bus trip to the Phoenix. Dan (Co-News Editor) was going to report on this. He can’t though, drinks were only $2.50 and he can’t remember a thing. Gordon Lane and Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com The News | In Brief... Rui Read On Campus... And YOU probably missed it Writer Rui Umezawa’s recently made a guest appearance at UTSC. Last Friday Umezawa graced B-516 and its Immigrant Experience in Literature class. Umezawa is a native of Japan, but has lived in Toronto for the past 15 years. His work draws from Japanese folk-lore and original creative work. He is the author of a children’s book entitled Aiko’s Flowers, and has published variously in The Globe and Mail, The Toronto Star, Descant and Venue. Ryerson Beats UTSC Ryerson students actually do stuff. UTSC students don’t do anything. Period. Culture Jamming Gets a Salesman Culture Jamming guru Andrew Boyd spoke at Ryerson University last Tuesday the 14", giving his “Culture Jamming 101” lecture. The lecture hall was packed with people ranging everywhere from the militant activist, to 15 year old hippies, to 70 year old professors, to professional mothers, to yours truly-The Underground. Many of the lecture hall seats were blocked off by yellow caution tape (for unknown reasons), but in the spirit of true superficial culture jammers the tape was ignored, with mentions of “No borders,” and that ignoring the tape was “a statement.” Right. The lecture was conducted in a Southern Baptist Evangelist fashion, with fast-talking appeals to nothing but emotion. The selling commenced: “We're in the middles of an orgy of culture jamming in this country.” Let’s get those teenyboppers hooked, cuz culture jamming is cool. Someone else went to the Anti- War Rally On Saturday, January 18, 2003 thousands converged on Nathan Philips Square in downtown Toronto to protest the imminent US-led war on Iraq. Despite the crowd’s mostly average-Canadian make-up, communist newspapers, Marxist leaflets and various pieces of anti-establishment propaganda were widely available. Also on-hand were members of the CAW, CUPE and a group called RootingOutEvil.org, which intends to send ~ groups of voluntary weapons-inspectors into the United States. The Globe and Mail also released an the results of an Ipsos-Reid poll that indicated that the majority of Canadians would not support a war on Iraq that was not endorsed by the UN, and Canadian PM, Jean Chretien, refused to comment on whether or not Canada would join a unilateral US move to invade Iraq. The peace rally made its way through the city-streets to-U of T’s St. George campus, where more speeches were made at Convocation Hall. War protestors packed Con Hall, as a string of largely incoherent speakers took the podium. Much rhetoric was spouted, most of it amounting to “George W. Bush is an idiot.” While the truth- value of such a statement is hardly debatable, it does not, in fact, give us a good reason not to go to war. The best reason not to wage war on Iraq is that there is no good reason. News Reporting Failure and a Note from the News Editor Due to my .fecent death, | was unable to go to the Anti-War Rally downtown Toronto last Saturday. | apologize. But if | had gone, | would have something cool to Say. | also laugh at all of you. | set up an email account so YOUR events could be covered;’so, YOU can get exposure. | have received no emails since the address was published in the paper a week and a half ago, besides something from.my own editor. | would like to think that it is because you all hate me, but think the real reason is that you are all apathetic, lazy, racist, assholes. If you have a problem with my saying this, then write an email to bro kennewseditors@hotmail.com explaining why. For some reason, | think your apathy will go so far that you won't even challenge this statement. Please, PLEASE surprise me. Stay tuned for more anger in the coming weeks. Sincerely, Gordon Lane x ‘WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN? A first-person account of that crazy anti-war march By Sachin “Capitalism is A-OK” Hingoo Associate Editor It's bitterly cold as we walk from the Eaton Centre up to Convocation Hall in pursuit of the Peace Rally protes- tors. After a raucous night of drinking at the Phoenix the night before, we are more than a little hung-over, which doesn’t help the situation any. But rationalizing that our minor discomfort is insignificant in comparison to the feeling of a one-hundred megaton bomb dropping on our heads and the heads of our friends and family, we suck it up and walk on. During our trek up University Avenue, passing protestors and police cars, | notice the first child of the day, in a stroller, its mother clutching the handles while attempting to juggle a protest sign. Chris speaks aloud what I’m thinking: “Shouldn't that child be inside on a day like this? What do they have to do with Iraq?” This sparks a discussion about SIDS, which | will not recount here because |’m not that much of a slime-ball. Low in spirit and morale, we end up at Con Hall, sur- rounded by more people with signs, drums, and colour- ful costumes. A clearly insane man in leather pants spouting terrible (but topical) improvised poetry (at the top of his lungs) is right in my ear. | shuffle over next to an old man smoking a joint, which he has no inten- tion of sharing with me. Apparently there are speeches going on in Convocation Hall, but tickets are required and being the well-prepared members of the press that we are, we have none. Fortunately for us, the organiz- ers have set up some speakers on a truck outside the hall from which burst mostly incoherent sounds which | have to assume are the speeches going on inside. Now somewhat sheltered on the steps of Con Hall, | can . ~ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ survey the entire crowd for the first time. In between the Black (Uber-Militant) Block and a couple of protestors in masks beating each other with feathers (clearly quite high on LSD), | notice several children running through the crowd. Again, | wonder to myself what these kids are doing here. In this kind of brutal weather, is it right to allow kids to be running around at this protest? Given their ages, it’s pretty unlikely that they understand trade- sanctions, oil interests, and in most cases they probably think that only Max Steel and Magneto have access to ‘weapons of mass destruction’. So | ask you, is it a wise decision on the part of parents to bring their kids to this rally? Is it of any value to the children to be here when they can’t possibly fathom the real meaning or serious- ness of the protest? Sure, you'll probably tell me that it’s important for them to show their support, that Iraqi children will also be affected by Bush's decision to bomb or not to bomb, but can these kids grasp anything that's going on, and if they can't, is it really a show of support at all? My issues with the children and my shallow com- mentary on the protestors aside, the rally is a truly moving event. Knowing that similar protests are occur- ring throughout Canada and the world at the same time, I’m impressed, to say the least, with the sheer amount of people that oppose Mr. Bush’s trigger-happy regime. Something needs to be done about the United States’ terrorism-posing-as-antiterrorism, and it is increas- ingly apparent that Canadians will not stand for our government's support of Bush in this war without the approval of the United Nations. Perhaps there’s hope for us yet. More likely, the US-imposed deadline will come and go, and Georgie will bomb Iraq and a million civilians to smithereens and no one will make a move to stop him. My only hope is that it will end there, and that as Canadians, the blood of that one-million people won't be on our hands. Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Stu den tsa E Etudiant: 26 . Sig a} T he’ Underground ° Construction Continues On Campus Christian Lucier Life Editor Five months ago we started the school year. Accompanying the steady flow of students were big honkin’ trucks. Some were full of cement, while others towed enormous concrete cylinders. Well, it looks as though the stream of construction is starting to take shape. The Phase Four Student Residence Building now stands in a skeletal sort of way, and the Academic Resource Center (ARC) appears to have a sturdy foundation. The question at hand now is, “When will all this bloody construction come to a halt?” After having conversed with Assistant Principal for Campus Development, Professor Ted Relph, | wouldn't hold my breath... Surprisingly, the new student resi- dence and ARC are on schedule. (Isn'tit about time something went according to plan?) If you haven't heard, the student residence is scheduled for completion in mid-August. However, issues like furnishing the building still have to be taken into consideration. The start of construction on the student residence was delayed a few weeks. It appears as though there was a budget conflict, but according to Relph, “this delay has been made up because the contractor increased the number of workers pouring concrete.” As far as the ARC goes, it is sched- uled for “substantial completion” in late July. Substantial is a pretty broad word, however. UTSC could erect a cardboard box with some old issues of National Geographic for all | care, just so long as we have something that resembles a library for next year. So far, there haven't been any serious conflicts with the blueprints for both the student residence and ARC. In terms of modifications, there have been very few. These “modifications” can be as simple as making a doorframe or ledge a few inches longer. Rest assured, the original plans for the student residence and ARC are presently being carried out. On a side note, the ARC also expe- rienced a roadblock at the start of con- struction. A large 37 year-old oil tank for diesel needed to be removed. The oil tank was located at the bottom of the staircase near the main chimneys. UTSC was aware of this oil tank and its need for removal. According to provincial regula- tions, the oil tank needed to be moved in the next three years anyway, due to the possibility of leakage. UTSC is heated by gas, so the oil tank served no purpose and is now gone for good. In terms of future construction on campus, there are numerous proj- ects in the works. The designs for the new Management Building and Student Centre are almost complete. Groundbreaking for these two projects is being planned for around March or April, and the completion of these two buildings is set for August 2004. As well, a new site plan for the outer lots has been sent to the City of Toronto. In the site plan, a reconstruction and expansion of the outer lots is proposed. Being a frustrated commuter at UTSC, | am eagerly looking forward to a revamp of the parking lots. With all these new buildings being erected, there will have to be “upgrades and improvements to the electrical infrastructure” of UTSC. This would include new transformers and central switchgears. But wait, there’s more. There are three more projects that are being con- sidered. UTSC is currently planning another “200-300 student residence, a general classroom building, and an extension to the Sciences Wing.” When considering all the construction 8. that is taking place, it is amazing UTSC still carries out a school-year. However, it is not as though the two haven't con- flicted. Since most of my classes are in the B-Wing, | have learned first hand how well sound carries. Hammers banging, drills churning, and bulldozers revving are sounds often heard in class and in the halls. In a sense, these sounds are kind of like UTSC’s new radio station. So yes, construction on campus has been somewhat distracting for the..student body. Another thing that is discouraging about all the construction on campus is that a large portion of the student body (3% and 4" year) is never going to reap the benefits of these new facilities, and yet have to be inconvenienced. It is plau- sible to think that UTSC might be going a bit overboard in terms of redefining the campus. Face it, with the above informa- tion it looks as though we better get used to the construction, because it is going to be like this for the next few years. Yet, that is what the length of University is, a few years. It is disappointing to attend a small university campus that is trying to grow drastically. Not only are we unable to grasp a feel of the campus, due to its constant change in appearance, but we are also deprived in critical ways. Every student this year, for example, had a closet for a library. It would have been nice if some of the construction was spaced out, but that is just wishful think- ing. No one likes to spend money unless they have to, especially here at UTSC. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/.*.! Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Ryerson lecture spells curtains for culture jamming by Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief The lecture hall was filled with a bizarre mix of activists, regular- joe students, academics and arts- types. The buzz was big. Present in the audience were such alt-media personae as Judy Rebick, — originator and publisher of Rabble.ca. The crowd was_ busy passing around some sample leaflets from some organization called www.whatreallyhappened.c om, a website that runs “The News They Don't Want You To Hear.” Enter Andrew Boyd. Boyd. Billed as North America’s pre-eminent culture- jammer and media-stunt activist. Boyd has been “jacking” since his university days, where he organized a band of students to take over a campus military research lab. The group dressed 5h hawt FSiceve sad oe See Sates x ABR Paes. i». LIUAB- Who? Yes. Andrew in lab coats, dark sunglasses and walkman headsets and entered the laboratory demanding that they be allowed to “exercise their duty as American citizens” and help conduct nuclear defense research. One of the students had knitted a missile-cone-warmer. Boyd, now 39 and based in New York, is not only a troll-looking culture-jammer and activist, but also a writer, author of such shlocky titles as Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to_ Everything in the Universe and Life’s Little Deconstruction Book: Self-Help for the Post-Hip. His books pillage post-modern culture, and in turn, Boyd sells the phenomenon back to yuppies who want to be “Pomo.” He has his own website, where he hocks his wares to the weak of mind. He travels the continent giving lectures called “Culture Jamming 101”, the very same one that | attended at Ryerson University last week. Boyd lectures like a used-car salesman (and in bad pants to boot), and he was there selling himself as much as he was enlightening tofu- munching yuppies about the art of the culture jam or media stunt. His presentation at Ryerson was two-parts blatant self-promotion, one-part smug autobiography and one-part primer on how to subvert the mainstream. Culture-jamming itself has obtained significant media saturation of late; The crowd that Boyd drew to this lecture (upwards of 200 people) is proof of A Culture-Jammer’s Glossary of Terms media stunt that. Thanks to Greenpeace, Adbusters, Naomi Klein and a slew of other activist organizations and alt-media darlings, there are few people who haven’t seen at least one scrawny denim-clad model moaning “FEED ME” courtesy of some socially-conscious black-marker magic. (lf you haven't got a clue what I’m talking about, see below.) For those that were familiar with Naomi Klein's No Logo, or Kalle Lasn’s Adbusters, Boyd had little to offer. He spent about 10 minutes describing different ways to culture jam advertisements, multi-national organization’s or world-trade organizations. (See below for a synopsis.) The rest of the time was devoted to case-studies of Boyd’s own work, and in the final 15 minutes, a brainstorming session for a media- stunt that Boyd plans to pull next month in New York. Despite many enticing questions from the audience, Boyd managed to keep things light by avoiding the theory or analysis of media pranks and advertisement hijackings. When one woman suggested that the group brainstorm a media prank for an upcoming peace demonstration in Toronto, Boyd cut her off with a click of his tongue and said “No, but | only have ten minutes and | want to get something for New York.” All in all, unless you'd lived in a capitalist hole for the past five years, there wasn't much to learn at the Culture Jamming 101 workshop. It was big on Boyd, but thin on stratagem for would-be Jammers. offensive body... for example, projecting culture jamming ‘the art of subverting the messages of the” mainstream media, large evil corporations, or big government, etc. by re-contextualizing their messages so that people become overtly ; aware of their manipulative Biacices, : just a few different kinds of culture jamming: anti-advertisement take a popular ad campaign and spoof it. this works best if the anti-ad provides some criticism of the company or original ad campaign... an example would be an ad for Calvin Klein’s Obsession, depicting a well-muscled man, holding out the waistband of his underpants and looking plaintively inside (one of the more popular examples.) street theatre just what it sounds like... get a troupe A “http://www.uts¢.utoronto.ca/-undergndr.’.! of actors, get a script and perform some socially conscious theatre in the street, the park, the subway or wherever else you'll be sure to catch the attention of some passers-by. guerrilla leafleting produce a leaflet or pamphlet with subversive, anti-establishment, or socially-conscious messages and insert it into the pages of mainstream newspapers, drop it in your neighbour's mailbox, put under cars’ windshield wipers or scatter them around in public places. turn the mainstream media against itself by hijacking a press conference, or other large event where the media are present... and example would be to build a big paper-mache paper shredder, hide a wooc-chipper inside, park it outside of the offices of U.S. Immigration and shred large copies of the Constitution to protest the human rights violations inherent in racial-profiling. invisible theatre with the help of some similarly inclined pals, put on a big show for the people around and don't let them know you're acting... an example would be to enter a McDonalds and have a very loud, rehearsed conversation about their unfair labour practices, and let all the other patrons know just how bad it is to flip burgers. guerrilla projection project a socially-conscious or subversive image onto the office building of a major corporation, government bureau or some other a bio-hazard symbol onto the smoke- stacks of a paper-mill known for contaminating groundwater and nearby lakes and streams. newspaper wrap replacing the outside sheet of a major newspaper with your own... if you're very careful to match fonts, styles of type and the masthead you could fool bleary-eyed morning commuters well into the first page and deliver your message before they become aware. banner hang hang a large banner with your slogan, logo or idea in a prominent high-traffic area... an example would be to hang a banner promoting anti-consumerism over the Bloor Viaduct during rush-hour. billboard liberation the altering of a billboard to make its message subversive or socially- conscious. this can be done with spray- paint or for more resounding effects by repapering the board with your own message. The Underground JNiINne YT ‘l produce speech bubbles, EE 2 , ’ x points against But what about you, | You have no oblectve OKay okay, We all | ne. am a drawind, ailsteak? Your prs eae irieateren eerie j bees “Spas ear tT \ an a railing Tail : ah il it proof of chranolayical | | exist. Happy? hy continuity is lateral, rortnuty (5 in Hohe. | continuity. Gur exis Te alleen not chronological, hUsnar | | are equally and — | / | codependantly valid. Just because your universe fas a fourth Your consciousness bce tachi wall, that doesnt mean notin af | ‘ sft ede se-t td you exist any more than For what Is Man but 7 we do. a fiction of God? One Over Zero is one of the most striking independent stare a Jae FF comics online 2 : args the oe ca ebz s commer r% 1 wb e e seer egle ieee .. the eeas come to 8 goes by the internet — His daily comic stri _ has been running: fe 10 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, January 22, 2003 eer aere a Fue raven. Gal x And darigt Gb [Sie wien have x ship where we've atqued te bored, you oo with Sa sti A | cared about en about reality were all the audience? me Ly EAN te fin Sbiry ou fe that What, and go ofast a b-me pire ea peithin way, Zadok. | found] second plotline? ( Mey, someone hea to) Audience, nothing. | them invigorating. vA Don't think 20. I'll watch| 2upely the punchlines. | \ f get bored foo. iT UG: Do you have any advice for beginner writers Offline, im vreeding a lot less ca I lsed oe which is really too bad. |usedtobe = a big bookworm...| try to getinanovel UG: every now and then. You always write — _ , about as well as you read. | need to read oe order to write. : : - _ ap, _ of topics are fun for my mind, but | never _ UG: bie Sartng 1/0 had you any if you stop writing, delve too deeply into them. Iliketo ° ; oS ese with oe What kind - your muscles atrophy. A daly webcomic as that I'm encouraging others to do TS: Wri te. All the a ee ee | time. Even if it’s ioe Ge : : crap, even if it's off-topic... even if its | ofhtopic.. f 00 se and fu my inth Sune wey - | Marcus nd Junior are beating out a UG: I've noticed you like to bring topical ~ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 11 Px The Underground Show Host Shahmeer does it old school over the telephone while 12 Ft Co-host Vinh watches. Simon Freestyles through the phone about cigarettes (above); While Shahmeer provides the beat (right) CATCH DA FLAVA! Regent Park youth take on media arts by Matt Capper For most of us, Regent Park is not an area you want to visit. When traveling downtown, most of us will probably stay clear of it altogether. The general con- ception of this area is this: Low income housing, crime-infested and dangerous. | decided to risk my life and wonder beyond the ever-so-classy district of Toronto's Yonge-and-Dundas-area. It failed to surprise me that | was not shot at or mugged. The fact of the matter is that Regent Park only seemed as dangerous as the walk to the Fossil every Tuesday night. After all, it is Scarborough that had the highest murder rate in 2002. My objective was not to see if Regent Park was really as bad as it is said to be. Instead, | was invited to watch a group of young Regent Park residents, who refuse to conform to the media stereo- type that has been placed on them, put on a live radio show, which discusses the issues of Regent Park and the sur- rounding area. The organization is called Catch Da Flava and it is the brainchild of a very enthusiastic Adonis Huggins. Catch Da Flava is part The Regent Park Focus Community Coalition Against Substance Abuse and is intended to pro- mote a healthy community and prevent substance abuse through advocacy; awareness workshops and a media arts youth program. However, the media arts program that is the main focus of Catch Da Flava and is home to Catch Da Flava Online (established in 2001), Catch Da Flava Radio (established in 1998), Catch Da Flava newspaper (established in 1995) and E.Y.E Video (established in 1993). E.Y.E Video (Exploring Youth Experiences), the first of the four projects, was created to provide young people with the skills, support and resources needed to produce high quality videos that reflect what they care about. However, the youth are not just given a camera and told to go make a video. Instead they taught a variety of skills including: researching; interviewing; script develop- ment; story boarding; camera angles as well as the many different techniques of editing their movies. Along with these skills the youth involved also learn from their involvement in a team environment. The videos that have been produced through E.Y.E Video have been shown and distributed to schools, libraries and community groups in Regent Park and across Canada. ° The newspaper and web page (www.catchdaflava.com) are the written sides of Catch Da Flava and they pro- vide an arena for youth to “let it all out” and express their opinions. version of Catch Da Flava is published four times a year and is available for free. They currently print 10 000 copies of each issue and circulate them door to door to residents and retail stores in Regent Park and the surrounding area. Along with this the newspaper is also distributed to libraries, schools and various other locations around the GTA. The unique aspect of the newspaper, like most of the other programs, is that youth are involved in every aspect of its pro- duction and, like E.Y.E Video; they are taught all the necessary skills required to put together a great newspaper. The final program, Catch Da Flava Radio, is what | was invited to watch. This 40-minute show airs on the first and third Tuesday of every month at 7:20pm on CKLN 88.1 FM. The radio show is an opportunity for the youth of the city to dispel myths and show people what they are really like. The topics range from interviews to debates and each live show Behind the scenes in the sound room The print is open to the public to either phone-in or watch live at the studio. The agenda on the night | was attending included a phone interview with Jack Layton, a discussion on the Regent Park develop- ment project as well as a freestyle rap about cigarettes. However, about five minutes before the show went on air it was discovered that there was a prob- lem with the connection and the show wowld not be able to go on. Now at this stage most of us would of just got fed up and said forget it, but this group of very unique and talent youth did not throw in the towel. After a few minutes it was decided that the show would have to be done over the phone directly to the radio station. However, by using the phone line they were not able to do the two phone interviews as planned and ultimately had to improvise throughout the show. It was quite an unusual sight watching from the audience seats, however they did an amazing and truly impressive job. | think under the circumstances even Mad Dog and Billy would of choked. Catch Da Flava and The Regent Park Focus program seem to be great programs and from what | can tell, seem to be having the desired effect within the community. Sponsors for Catch Da Flava range form the Dr. Scholls Foundation to The New Ontario Trillium Foundation and local supporters such as CKLN 88.1 FM Toronto and the Metro Toronto Housing Authority. For more information on Catch Da Flava or to offer you services as a volunteer you can check out their web page at www.catchdaflava.com or if you are willing to brave the cold weather (cause really that seemed to be the only danger), you could go down to the center and check it out, they are located at 600 Dundas St. E in the rear basement. http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ° ~ Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Columns UNDERGROUND ___— €€e >> ea Tired of students ripping down your ads, although they are stamped... Don't want to walk over to the board everyday and search for text book ads... Tired of spending time making and posting up ads... UTSC students deserve their own collective text book ac websitelll ” So don't bother wasting your valuable time, just remember this simple website: ttp:/www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ FREE text service courtesy of UTSC’s offical newspaper The Underground ? ; http:/wwwhnutsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground Pe ma\t 2s fa ttten ted Raiders | David Hale The stunball exploded in the small glass-lined Security checkpoint. The concussion of the blast tossed the guards inside against the walls and bulletproof glass like ragdolls. Haze shot the rest of his team a quick grin before moving down the office lined hallway past the checkpoint. Morgan in the lead, he guided them into the beginning of the maze of passageways that lay ahead of them. A heavy hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. “Hey Morgan, | gots’ ta find a place to set dis up...” Jester hissed at him in a low whisper, affectionately patting the backpack that he wore. Nodding, Morgan sidled up to one of the rooms. Peering into the opaque glass he listened intently before motioning towards the door. Jester smiled in understanding and gave it a good solid kick. The door splintered open, revealing a moderately well-furnished office. Entering, Jester slung the backpack to the floor with a grunt. Dropping into a cross-legged sitting position he began to assemble the equipment that it carried. “What's our remaining window of time?” Zen asked, directing the comment to the room as she moved to the comfortable chair behind the mock oak desk. Morgan checked his wrist chron. 23:47:24. “Twelve minutes until shift change.” “And at least an hour before those dreking guards wake up,” laughed Haze with a pleased grin, his stubby legs dangling from his position on the desk. “Which means,” continued Morgan flatly. “We have roughly ten minutes to breach the security vault, and get outta here with the goods.” Zen nodded in understanding and turned her attention to the half-assembled machinery that Jester was working on. “And how longs that drone gonna take, omae?” “Only another nano or two chummer,” replied Jester without looking up, his tongue lolling out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. “Good, cuz that’s all you got, “ said Morgan his face emotionless. ‘That's right, go cold,’ he thought. ‘Go cold and if any drek goes down, you'll be frosty.’ He’d been trying to reassure himself ever since they entered the Renraku Complex. The building itself whispered to him reminding of his fears. He’d nearly fainted when they had stumbled upon the security checkpoint and that guard had pulled a gun on them. Trying to relieve some of the stress he was feeling he glanced at his chummers. Zen, the decker, was an absolutely gorgeous woman. She looked like a norm in every respect, except for the two tiny pearl white tusks that protruded slightly from her bottom jaw, giving away her ork heritage. A large tattoo of a cybernetic dragon adorned one side of her face, two glittering datajacks in her left temple served as its eyes. Dressed in tight fitting combat black, she was stunning enough to make the pope rethink his vows. Jester, was a rarity in Seattle. The massive troll dwarfed Squeezing the trigger quick fore into the stunned faces ¢ explosive rounds detonated their ynarmored skulls. 14 Morgan by a good half meter. Morgan who stood taller than average for humans, was at first taken aback by this. But now it was Jester’s overall jovial attitude and the fact that he was a rigger that shocked him. Haze, a dwarf, was an old friend of Morgan’s, if you could call him a friend. His obese face was always twisted into a scowl, and his less than cheery disposition left much to be desired. Haze broke the silence as a match flared to life in his right hand. A moment later he teased the end of a nicostik with the small flame. Exhaling a long stream of bluish-gray smoke he tossed the match to the carpeted floor. Stepping quickly across the room, Morgan extinguished the flame with the sole of his boot. “You shouldn't smoke those chummer, they're bad for yer health.” Haze scowl deepened and he blew a cloud of the gray smoke in Morgan's face. “Frag you omae, livin’ is bad for my health.” Morgan waved the putrid cloud away from him as he choked. Turning away in disgust he spied Jester on the floor. The GM-Nissan Doberman Combat Drone that laid in pieces only a moment ago, was completely assembled. Jester stood next to it, hunching as he fastened the Ingram Valiant LMG onto the drone’s hardpoint. Producing a rigger deck from the bottom of the backpack, he drew the long jack cord from the side of the deck and plugged it into one of the two datajacks behind his ear. Typing a few commands the drone came to life and wheeled about in a small circle. “Okay boys and girls, me and Chatty Cathy are on-line and ready to roll.” Haze burst into a fit of laughter, “Chatty Cathy! Of all the stupid...” “| call her dat...” interrupted Jester quickly. “...Cuz whenever me and her get into trouble, Cathy here starts chattin’ fire and the trouble goes away.” Haze’s laughter died instantly as the drone rotated towards him and aimed its Ingram Valiant at his chest. Jester grinned again and handed his Remmington 990 to Morgan. “Here chummer, hang on to dis fer me, | gots my hands full wit’ da deck.” Morgan nodded and accepted the shotgun and an ammo belt of shells as well. Buckling the belt around his waist he moved to the door. He checked his chron again, 23:51:34. “Okay chummers our window is now eight minutes and ticking. Let's bag our goods so we can all go home.” Nodding their understanding they followed Morgan into the long hallway. Stealthily moving across the concrete floor, the only sound heard was the soft padding of feet and the low “whirr” of the drone’s engine. Guiding his teammates on memory alone, Morgan walked through a short series of hallways, bringing them to a halt just shy of the second checkpoint. Across a large foyer, on impact shatte * She sent back a formal greeting as she simultaneously in a couch filled lobby that was the main entrance to the Renraku building sat a security desk. Two security guards sat quietly behind the desk. The one on the left, an elf, seemed to be watching a vidscreen filled wall that had security readouts of the entire building. The human on the right was connected to the desk by along cord that was plugged into his temple. Possibly jacked into the internal matrix for the building. Morgan stopped short plastering himself against the hallway wall. “Two Sec men, behind the lobby desk,” he reported back in a whisper. “lll handle it,” Zen said with only a moment's hesitation. Stepping out into the lobby she seductively walked — across the foyer towards the desk. The elf on the left looked up first, an expression of shock crossing his face. Tapping his friend on the shoulder he pointed towards Zen. Before they could move another muscle Zen ripped twin Walther PB-120's from inside her jacket. Squeezing the trigger quickly a few silenced rounds tore into the stunned faces of the Sec men. The explosive rounds detonated on impact shattering their unarmored sku . The vidscreen lined wall behind them hair. Retrieving the dangling e z pusaged it into the hitcher Avatar cyberdeck. Drawing glittering datajacks in her tele The rest of her team moved in strategic positions. Morgan bla the blood. He turned away, preten an eye on the front doors. Feeling bile throat he gagged but managed to keep his lunc : Haze moved over to stand behind Zen. Running a finger through the dripping icor that stained the wall, he rubbed it between a thumb and forefinger thoughtfully. “Ruthless,” he smiled. “I like it.” Zen sneered momentarily at him before concentrating on the data that was filling her head. As she closed her eyes the matrix expanded and filled her consciousness. The electron world of the matrix gave her a bird’s eye view of the Renraku Building. The giant black pyramid lay before her. The image changed as her view spiraled around the peak, and ran down the sloping wall to stop at the front doors. Fingers clicking on ‘ the keypad of her cyberdeck, she slipped inside. Zen’s ; persona icon, a cybernetic dragon that resembled the — tattoo that adorned her body, stood inside a room made of granite. With her razor sharp claws clicking on the stone, she glanced about the room. On the floor in the center of the expansive entranceway was a large woven rug with the embossed Renraku logo in the center of it. Unintelligible hieroglyphics were carved into the granite walls. At the end of the room sat a stone altar, where ~ the security desk stood in reality. Behind the altar sat two dog-faced knowbots. With a few keystrokes Zen masked her icon, making it resemble the corporation’s — environment. Her persona flickered for nanosecond and : then retook the image of a human faced sphinx, which she knew to be used by the corp.’s system operators. “Greetings sir,” chimed one of the knowbots in a synthesized voice. Sle a ¢ s opened another window. A couple of keystrokes later she stepped into the backdoor she had created and slid into the corp.’s databanks. Loading her sleaze file, http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ i caine Groundworks she slipped undetected past some waiting Black IC. After a quick scan, she found what she was looking for. A 2-D security layout opened before her eyes. In t western sector, a flashing red light indicated that a silen alarm had been tripped. Quickly rerouting the alarm to another sector far from their position, she downloaded the location of the high security vault and jacked out. The ringing of the alarm reached her before any of her other senses came on-line. “What the frag did you do?” asked Morgan with a concerned look on his face. In actuality the look was from his attempt to focus on Zen and not the gore behind her. “A silent alarm was triggered, so | rerouted it across the building. Most if not all of the guards headed in this direction should go there first, if were lucky,” Zen replied coolly. “Good thinking,” shoulder. Zen smiled triumphantly and slung her cyberdeck over her shoulder. The runners moved out into the hallway in the direction of the vault. replied Morgan clapping her on the kkk A dull thud resonated from inside the guard’s helmet as the butt of Morgan’s shotgun slammed heavily into it. Stumbling backwards, the guard fell to the ground as Morgan clubbed him again. Haze’s sidekick sent the second guard into the wall. Zen lashed out and chopped him in the throat where his helmet didn't protect. Coughing, the guard clutched his neck, and then doubled over as Zen savagely brought her knee up into his stomach forcing the wind out of him. Bringing down his elbow heavily, Haze knocked the guard to like fireworks. She heavy armor like paper, Morgan shuddered as_ display. His head spinning | fo..the floor, awful guns barking like rabid dogs. People being cut down and dismembered by full-auto fire. The floor slick with ooze. Morgan huddled on the floor holding his head. Shots skipped on the concrete centimeters away from his prone body. A dull moan of extreme terror escaped his lips. His head lolled as powerful hands gripped his armored . jacket, pulling, dragging him into the mild safety of the alcove that led into the vault. “Morgan, you okay? Hey Morgan, you been hit?” asked a concerned voice. The blurred form in Morgan’s vision slowly came into focus. Jester was crouching over Morgan, his hands checking him for any sign of injury. “You okay Morga...” Jester’s voice trailed off into a grunt of pain as a round ripped into his side. The bullet penetrated shattering a rib and puncturing his lung. The impact from the blow tossed the huge troll to the ground. Jester lay sprawled next to the body of a dead security guard, gripping his side in surprise. Shock stopped him from fully experiencing the pain. Morgan watched as his friend’s hand came away from his side smeared with blood. Something snapped inside Morgan. Shaking his head he pushed himself to his feet. Snatching the Remmington 990 from the floor, he staggered towards the guards heedless of the bullets ricocheting around him. “I’m not going to let this happen... I’m not going to let this happen... I’m not going to let this happen again!” Morgan cried out, tears streaming down his contorted face. Bringing the shotgun to bear, he let loose in a __ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ frenzy of shells. Working like a killing machine he Aeaey: the ae ae oe gun gong! in his hand. dick-sh Fd. eIWOt fs) been hit!” cried Haze hurrying his hands on the wound Haze an to weave the incantation wound a soft glow began through Jester’s side. As to close, and the shatte: reforming together. As the to close and the rib strengthened, the pa ed look on Jester’s face eased. The spell finished, Haze sagged back heavily against the wall, the effort visibly sapping him. Lighting a nicostik he inhaled deeply. The last of the guards having been killed or driven off, Morgan stood in the corpse-lined hallway, his now empty shotgun clicking in rapid succession. Dropping the useless weapon he sank to the floor. Putting his head in his hands he began to sob uncontrollably. Haze glanced over at him weakly. Not knowing what to do he ignored it and took a long draw from his nicostik. Jester sat up, rubbing his side in wonder. Staggering over to Morgan, he laid a large hand gently on his shoulder. Zen glanced at them for a moment before splicing two wires together. With a hiss the doors to the vault slid open. Smiling to herself she abandoned the mass _ of crisscrossing wires and moved toward the vault. Haze saw this and lept to his feet. Grabbing her arm he held her back, “Woah, easy there chummer.” he said quickly. She scowled at him and tried to pull away. Haze held fast and blew a long stream of smoke into the vault. The smoke wafted into the room illuminating a web-like pattern of crisscrossing laser tripwires. Zen’s scowl faded and she stopped struggling as she looked into the room. The lasers weaved themselves into a spider’s web pattern, encircling the matte black ‘Renraku Raider’ cyberdeck that sat upon the pedestal in the center of the room. Zen let out a small gasp and stared at the deck in a trance. Morgan had quieted, and with the help of Jester he joined his friends standing at the door of the vault. He felt weak, the emotional display and his frenzy had taken a lot out of him. Steeling his voice he asked, “Is that the package chummers?” Zen nodded dazedly, “How do we get past the lasers.” Jester who hadn't seen the light show frowned in question. Haze blew another stream of smoke into the room in answer. Wednesday, January 22, 2003 “Oh, those lasers,” Jester replied with a grin. “Why can't we just walk in and get it.” “We don't have to get pas second and a third nicostik. “It “You always were a lazy slott softly. to rise. It trembled and wavered as it lifted into the air. As the spell took hold, Haze guided the small black cyberdeck through the treacherous maze of crisscrossing lines. Beads of sweat appeared on Haze’s forehead as he moved the deck down a bit, sliding it slowly past a tripwire. The whole team caught their breath as the deck suddenly faltered and dropped towards a triangle of light. Haze put all his focus onto the deck. Fighting to stay conscious and to keep the package under control, he closed his eyes. As the deck dropped lower and lower towards disaster Zen gasped. When suddenly the deck leveled out. Turning at the last second, it plunged millimeters from the net of laser beams. Changing direction it swooped low, cut to the left, and rocketed upward. Like a black flying carpet it soared across the room and landed in Zen’s outstretched arms. Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Haze sagged heavily, the nicostiks falling from his mouth. The spent butts sparking slightly as they hit the ground. Morgan stepped forward and gripped Haze’s arm, steadying the dwarf before he could crash to the floor. Haze smiled his thanks and gripped Morgan's shoulder weakly. “Let's get the hell outta here.” Four figures rushed out of the protective shadows at the side of the building. Dashing for their lives across the open expanse that separated the runners from the awaiting Ford Canada Bison. The team charged ahead as they ran into a passing patrol of guards. Gaining distance, Morgan fired a few wild shots at the pursuing guards trying to scatter them. As they got to the truck, Jester flung open the doors and clambered in, Zen and Haze right behind him. Morgan lunged into the open door slamming it behind him. He braced himself as the Bison sped off into the night... $$$ Available For Special ad Ke) (=Log o From: Council on Student Services - Enhancement Fund Purpose: For projects enhancing student life at UTSC i.e. club events, cultural events or artistic presentations etc. This is an opportunity to provide student initiatives extra funding! Who qualifies for the student enhancement fund?? Please refer to http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~css/ for more information. Or the Office of Student Affaires and Services Project Submission Deadlines: 1. Monday, January 21%, 2003 2. Monday, March 18*, 2003 15 The Underground ert) ht eee by Sachin "Clean Needles" Hingoo Associate Editor It’s a controversial practice. Some say that it not only condones the use of drugs, but that it actively encourages it. However, in these modern times (and how long have | been waiting to use that phrase), where the "Say No To Drugs” rhetoric of the 1980's is long outdated and ignored by many, it might just be the solution that we've sought after. The idea behind harm reduction is simple: If you can’t stop someone from doing something, then at least educate them so that they can do it safely. That ‘something’ is usually some sort of behaviour that is frowned upon or condemned by authority figures, but is still practiced by a large part of the population. In its early stages, harm reduction was primarily focused on sexual activity among young people. Because this behaviour was and still is demonized by a large part of society, it became difficult for young people to obtain things like contraceptives and information on diseases without revealing, to a possibly unsympathetic authority figure, that they are engaging in this type of behaviour. Of course, if you remember your Grade 6 Health class, you might recall seeing such films as "| Am Joe's Testicles" or for the ladies, "Joe’s Ovaries". These films, and almost every piece of information on sex that you’ve received through a school, free clinic, or hospital, all the way down to those condoms in your frosh kit are examples of harm reduction. They (doctors, educators, counselors, frosh leaders, etc) know you're probably going to do it anyway, so they've taken steps to ensure that you know what you're doing, and that you'll do it safely. My question is, if this has worked so well with sexual safety, then why hasn't harm reduction been. implemented for things like drug-use? Well, actually it has, though you may not necessarily know about it if you’re not a fan of techno. An organization called TRIP (Toronto Raver Information Project) came together in GENTLEMEN 1995, and has dedicated itself to helping people make "healthy and wise choices” in the behaviour in which they choose to engage. As their name suggests, this organization caters primarily to "party kids", but their services are available and helpful to anyone that might need them. What is startling to me is that there is little awareness about these services, and that more schools are not making TRIP’s, or similar organizations’, information about drug-use harm reduction available to students. The misguided attitudes that had us believing that sex education leads to sexual activity are of the very same kind that purport that education about safe drug-use will lead to increased use of those mind-altering substances that we love so much. Perhaps a wake-up call is needed to those in charge — a person with the intent of shooting up is oN win fine intention sieesrnnd Up bb prolbelahy Stee rere a you eandannn faena torlley 2, Wetec be deme Bite proviéls cecess (to hittomactitom far all parseia 85 iis Weyer ge cheut hat? business fin cin iMmaligen? MECHA.” SUK IAT, | THANK YOM probably going to shoot up whether you condemn them for it or not. What can be done is to provide access to information for that person so that they can go about their business in an_ intelligent manner (for example, "Maybe using that dirty needle you found in the dumpster behind the hospital isn’t the best idea, you fucking automaton!"). The City of Vancouver has already instituted harm reduction techniques, such as needle- exchanges and safe-injection rooms for their fiending population of heroin addicts and there has been talk in the social- services sector, right here in Toronto, of doing the same. TRIP Headquarters has _ drop-in hours at the Queen West Community Health Centre (168 Bathurst St., just south of Queen West) every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 8pm. You can drop by, grab pamphlets, information, and condoms, or to ask questions. They can also refer you to health services in and around Toronto. should be. SOME THING REALCY Go senciihaatiin” PARTY TRIPS! Book Now, Space Limited! 20,000 stuaents partied with us last year! Quebec City from $229 (Optional Snowboard/Ski trips!) Daytona Beach trom $199 Panama City Beach irom $299 Acapulco tom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: ta TRAVEL CUTS www.travelcuts.com Tour operated by Breakaway Tours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point. Above prices based on max. occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info, Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking, 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Columns Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) I'll start off by admitting that I’m a bit of a pop culture glutton. However over the years my interest has waned a bit, and nothing of my addiction to all-things- celebrity remains... except one. My dedicated subscription to Rolling Stone magazine still remains, and for the last three years | have absorbed this maga- zine willingly into my conscious mind. But over the past little while I’ve been losing interest in it, particularly because of something that I’ve noticed. They've begun to treat assholes as if they were really good people. But when | read the cover story of the latest issue, | realized that they were talentless assholes too. This was revealed to me in a cover story on Justin Timberlake, my nomina- tion for biggest asshole in the universe. He revealed that he had an Oedipal connection to his mother and that an inability to find a girl like his mother is what caused all three of his ex’s to cheat on him. He also describes his sex life in detail to his mother (who asks him to stop). But here’s how he’s described by the writer: “So that’s the way it is with him. The girls he loves apparently cheat on him. It’s an embarrassing thing, especially for a star of Timberlake's mag- nitude; but worse, its’ a terrible personal ragedy, excruciating to the heart and a burden on the soul.” Really? Is that so? As we speak, there are people out there who have lost their only source of income, people who are locked up for things they didn’t do, people who don’t make a tenth of what Justin Timberlake makes and still suffer. Those are the real kinds of personal trag- edies. Don’t get me wrong, | like a good gossip story as well as the next person. But the idea that someone would attempt to describe such small circumstances in such large terms disgusts me. So this got me thinking that our culture really enjoys sympathizing with assholes. Perhaps it’s rebellion against the christian morality that has people becom- ing so enamoured with idiots. But rather | Frog In My Throat Aside from the Dick Clark special and consuming copious amounts of alcohol, my New Year's Eve is always spent looking back at the year and looking forward to the exciting changes that | will set into motion once January 1° kicks in. | have always been an optimist at heart and although my resolutions almost never pan through, | still make them because it gives me hope. Some past resolutions have included the standards — to lose those love handles (or as | like to call them, my nutellas), to eat in a healthy manner, to spend more time relaxing and less time running around like a chicken without a head, to find myself and maybe lose myself again... etc. This year, however, | have decided that my resolution will be to do one thing and one thing only - it will be my mission to purge all the negativity that | bring to the world around me in the hopes that others will follow suit. I’m going to start with phase one of my resolution manifesto by taking this opportunity to _http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ - \3 Merika Ramundo list my pet peeves so as to rid myself of these personal vexations once and for all! Why start with the pet peeve you may ask? Let’s take the pet peeve and bring it down to its essence. The pet peeve is usually something that annoys one so much that he/she is moved to gripe about it. The operative word here is moved. Although the pet peeve may be something fairly small in the scope of things, it’s much more powerful than we think, so much so that people, even the polite ones, verbalize their hate for it. The power of the peeve may stem from its tendency to be repeated and ultimately irritating, or maybe it is that the peeve tends to be conducive to acts that disgust us, but one thing is for sure — the pet peeve is relative. For some it may be something set in morality like “People steal my ideas and then take all the credit for themselves!”, for others it could be sensory like “The sound of fingernails scratching a chalk board”, think it’s a general drop in standards. Not just any asshole with marginal talent and a maternal fetish could become famous. People don’t need to have a baby-face and a large crucifix to be cool. There should be some sort of form for people to fill out if they want to be famous. If they hit higher than 8 on the asshole scale then they wouldn't be allowed to be popular. That way we wouldn't have journalists who gush over every sleaze- bag that puts out an album. But this is not my dream world. So it seems that the reason more and more assholes keep popping up in media is because people keep demanding them. | suppose that could be because most people are pretty self-absorbed, so they like other people that are self-absorbed. To be honest | don’t know. But every day real television, film, and music is passed over so that people like David E. Kelly, Russell Crowe, and Justin Timberlake can permeate our consciousness. At this point I'm beginning to feel that and still for several it may be rooted in absurdity like “My peeve is people who like drama and like you staring at them from the next lane? Tinted windows or not, Kleenex says bless you. | hate it when people suck the phlegm from inside their nose and spit it out through their mouths. My ex-housemate used to wake me up every morning with this wonderfully horrific “horking” sound. He claimed it cleared his insides. | claim only hockey players should do this while they are on the ice...far, far away from me. Another pet peeve is people who interrupt me while I’m speaking. This shows poor listening skills. On that same note, people who pretend to listen to me but are really thinking about telling the story that will top mine are just plain irritating. Just be and take it all in. Let the person finish talking. Oh yeah, and think before you say something stupid. Escalator etiquette. Stand right, walk Wednesday, January 22, 2003 — people don’t realize that their entertain- ment has to provide them with something beyond a cheap thrill. Entertainment, even the stuff that’s only meant to be fun, has to have some level of thought in it. If it doesn’t it just becomes vacuous space. It's that line that Adam Sandler used to teeter on, there has to be a divide. Don't just give your hero worship to some ass- hole. If you need a baby-face that des- perately, | offer this humble suggestion: left. Bureaucratic red tape of any color, shape or form. Waiting for the not so good things. Anything that wastes my time makes me frustrated. So what do all these pet peeves say about me? | have some ideas but | would rather let you tell me. Underground readers: What do you think my peeves say about me? What are the little things that drive you insane? | know there are people out there reading this column...you’ve told me so, so e-mail me at: ramundoelmundo@yahoo.ca or you will become pet peeve #8. P.S. | also hate typing when my hands are cold...like today. 1 . The Underground )eonhs Conspiracy theories- true or false? It’s winter, the time of year when your mind star€ with you. Is it the lack of sunshine? Is it the lack Is it a government plot to make winter suck, the to purchase wagon loads of unnecessary goods of making everyone look the fool for hoarding a Conspiracy theories abound this time of year, an their lives in fear of this secret knowledge, which may or may not be true. Below is a list of things for you to think about and decide, true or false? 1. Big Brother is watching all of-us via satellites in because he was jealous and wanted to be the leader the night sky, which look surprisingly like stars. of his own band, appropriately named Foo Fighters. (Discovered by a man who is a suspected pigeon 11. Enough sunlight falls on the earth in one minute to eater) fuel the energy needs of the entire world for a whole 2. There exist vast databases of information on each and day, but world leaders refuse te. do anything about every household in the country, so precise that they it because it would mean a huge economic loss to can custom-make those annoying coupon packages to public electricity manufacturers, and little or no suit your exact buying patterns. need for nuclear production. 3. The success of abstract expressionism as an art 12. The “double cohort” is actually a secret government movement can be attributed almost entirely to the ploy in conjunction with CanCopy to inject millions CIA for the purposes of the Cold War. of dollars into the economy by forcing high school 4. Mormons have secret underground tunnels in Salt students to leave a year earlier, and to gradually Lake City. lengthen university programs to five years, thus 5. People have been known to plant tiny video cameras making millions off the sale of additional textbooks, in smoke detectors in order to monitor your every and the use of course readers. move. 6. Using the powers of alien forces, UTSC residence student Paul Hunter influenced fellow rez person Crazy Joe to hold his annual birthday bus trip the same day as Paul’s own birthday in order to steal Joe’s thunder. if ees a eae mg See by IP cau NOTE: The decision to withhold the answers to the logic and through your cookies, every SI diven pe te net a ere ate ee a by puzzles was part of a secret ploy to hurt you. It was not; I the government against you. repeat not, a product of laziness or lack of motivation. Rest 8. Genetically modified food and radiated food products assured, the answers are thus: are actually part of a nationwide test on human mutations. 29 -Each person paid $9, totalling $27. The manager has $25 and the bellboy $2. The 9. Disney owns approximately half of everything in bellboy’s $2 should be added to the manager’s $25 or subtracted from the tenants’ $27, not ‘ the entire world, and is trying to influence children to become drones for their evil empire through subliminal imagery in their animated films. 10. Dave Grohl is an alien and he killed Kurt Cobain 18 added to the tenants’ $27. Bookworm - On a book shelf the first page of the first volume is on the “inside” so the bookworm eats only through the cover of the first volume, then 8 times 1000 pages of Volumes 2 - 9, then through the cover to the Ist page of Vol 10. He eats 8,000 pages. If the 2 bookworm ate the first page and the last page, it ate 8,004 pages. Camels -The Wiseman tells them to switch camels. y| http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ let uy. om a little bit of puzz (i.e. 11cCKetmaster Is Not Invoivea) in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca he Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the Wednesday, January 22, 2003 often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Ongoing. Jan/Feb Mambo Italiano. “Coming out has never been so much fun.” Elgin Theater. Info at 416.593.4142. Ongoing. Writing Center Seminars. Amust attend for most UTSC students. Topics include passive sentences, introductions and conclusions, thesis statements, and conjunctions. Check your local wall for an ad or the Writing center in the Library for more information (date, time, topics) Ongoing. Be involved in human rights. Hope-Cards are currently posted on Amnesty International’s bulletin boards across from the H-wing cafeteria, as well as outside B-505. Stop by and sign them. Ongoing. Be a statistic! Sign up for psychology experiments outside of S-319. Promote human understanding. Sometimes they give you money... Ongoing. Lee Bul and Art Of The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution, to Mar 2, Liu Jian talk 6:30 pm Jan 22. $4, students $2, free Wed 5-8 pm. THE POWER PLANT (231 Queen's Quay W.) 416-973-4949. Jan. 22 YES to Human Cloning. a public lecture and presentation, brought to you by The Raelian Movement! OISE Rm 5-185, 252 Bloor Street W. (at St. George Subway). Free. Jan 22 POUND Open Turntables Night. Stop being a poser. The Drink (398 Richards). Contact SPK at skarl@ poundrecordings.com. Free. Jan. 23 Coach House Books Release Party, for Steve McCaffery’s Seven Pages Missing Volume Two and Karen Mc Cormack’s At Issue. 8pm, @ Cobalt, 426 College (at Bathurst) Jan. 23 LOST BY AN ECHO, UTSC’s Emorock band. The 360 bar, 19+ $5 Jan. 23 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Jan. 23 Bossa Nova Night, in the Arbor Room, Hart House. 9pm. Presented by O.L.A.S and featuring music by Solo Sol. Jan. 24 Full bodied jazz in a rich style. Arbor Room, Hart House. 9pm. Free. Jan 24 Diya...The Flame That Lights the Soul. Put on by the Pakistani Students Association. All welcome. Strictly Formal event. More info at www.psautsc.tk, or call Sophia at 416.995.3344. Tickets $35+. Woodbine Banquet and Convention hall. Jan. 24 SCSU Fashion Show Jan 25 PLEASURES OF SIN feat. DJ’s Patrick DSP, Philth, Remedi, Apathy and more. 298 Brunswick (Labyrinth). $5, 19+, 10PM-3AM Jan 28 JENG YI (Korean Drum Ensemble). The Cultural Affairs Music Committee presents MUSIC OF ALL LATITUDES. 6PM in the Meeting Place. PYWC. Jan 28 MORCHEEBA make their first Toronto appearance since their last one. Opera House, $27. Jan. 28 SCSU Spring Election Nomination Period - Opens Jan. 29 Noon-hour Student Recitals, in the Music Room, Hart House. Noon to 3pm. Free. Jan. 29 Canadian Blood Services Blood Donor Clinic in the Meeting Place Jan 30-ongoing. Co-ed Naked Interhouse Volleyball. Well, not really naked. But sign up anyway. Put together a team of 6-10 for $20 at the Athletic center service desk. Games last all semester and are on Thursdays from 4-7. Feb 1 DARKRAVE v.36 Dj’s Paladin 5.0, Grimace, Lazarus, Phink and more spin for people wearing black. Big Bop/ Reverb (651 Queen St. W.) Feb 1 BHANGRA NATION World Bhangra and Dhol Cup. Bhangra masters around the world gather to compete for $2000 and the Bhangra World Cup. Teams from UK, Scotland, Canada and the US. La Suhaag Banquets (75 Hedgedale Rd.) for info call 416-737-4371 TOWN HALL MEETINGS ON ACADEMIC PLANNING The Provost’s Office launched the next academic planning process in mid December by posting “green papers” at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. A “green paper” is issued for a consultative phase that precedes the drafting of a planning or policy document. The “green paper” phase of planning aims to elicit campus-wide discussion about priorities for the next academic plan. The green papers have also been published in the January 13" issue of the Bulletin. During January and February, Provost Shirley Neuman will be holding a series of Town Hall meetings to discuss the “green papers”. This is an opportunity for all members of the University community to contribute their ideas and their sense of priorities to the academic planning process. Please encourage your faculty colleagues, and your graduate and undergraduate students to attend one of these meetings and please attend yourself. All members of the University—students, faculty, staff and alumni—are strongly encouraged to participate in one or more of these fora to share their questions, ideas and responses with each other and the Provost. Following this consultation, a draft academic plan for the 2003-2009 period will be drafted. It will be circulated for further discussion before being taken to Governing Council in late spring. The calendar for the Town Hall meetings follows: Friday, January 10, 2003 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm Innis College, Town Hall, Room 112 2 Sussex Avenue Thursday, January 16, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am Bahen Centre Information Technology Auditorium, Room 1160 40 St. George Street Monday, January 27, 2003 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm Trinity College George Ignatieff Theatre 15 Devonshire Place Monday, February 3, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am OISE/UT Auditorium, Room G162 252 Bloor Street West Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Medical Science Building MacLeod Auditorium, Room 2158 1 King’s College Circle Monday, January 20, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University College Room 140 15 King’s College Circle Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am St. Michael’s College Alumni Hall, Room 100 121 St. Joseph Street Wednesday, February 5, 2003 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm University of Toronto at Scarborough Humanities Wing, 2" floor, Room 216 1265 Military Trail Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm Victoria University Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street Friday, January 24, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University of Toronto at Mississauga Matthews Auditorium Kaneff Centre, Room 137 3359 Mississauga Road North Friday, January 31, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Earth Sciences Centre, Room 1050 25 Wilcocks Street Friday, February 14, 2003 10:00 am- 11:30 am New College Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016 30 Wilcocks Street a ee ae ea ee http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 awe =, ~ ~- = Cornea NEW BULLETIN BOARD FOR LGBTQ! Staff, students and faculty seeking Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer (LGBTQ) resources and information can now check out the new bulletin board in the 3rd Floor Hallway of the Bladen Building, next to the Office of © Student Affairs. Just make sure 1 The bulletin board will post information and events from the Principal’s Advisory Committee on Positive Space, LGBTQ@SC, the Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Resources & Programs (St. George), and LGBTOUT. UPCOMING WORKSHOP: JOIN US for an informative workshop on Jan. 30th in the Council Chambers, from 12-1. LGBTQ issues will be addressed with more depth. Food will be provided. Topics to be discussed: *LGBTQ/Sexuality Issues: Coping with sexuality-related stress, the gains of being ‘out of the closet’, how to manage an active queer lifestyle, and more. *international Students: How to create support systems, and who to turn to at UTSC. For the coming summer, we are looking for experienced student employees as: @ DAY CAMP INSTRUCTORS @ CERTIFIED TENNIS INSTRUCTORS @ TENNIS COURT SUPERVISORS @ TIMER/SCORER-BASKETBALL LEAGUE @ CUSTOMER SERVICE STAFF* * applications will only be accepted after March 1 Please submit your application with a resume to the Physical Education Department Office R-247. ~ — call us at 416-287-7054 — email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca — or leave us an angry post-it note on our office door at S364 (that’s right, it’s a portable...) The Underground © ae Se ee ek a ee Ssengia tr . Wednesday January 29, 2003 erground 2 Posing as “real journalists", members of the Canadian Jniversity Press flocked to the sex-shop and strip-club d's Monkey Winnipeg artist Paul Robles has igraced UTSC with a new set of For the coming summer, we are looking for experienced student employees as: @ DAY CAMP INSTRUCTORS @ CERTIFIED TENNIS INSTRUCTORS @ TENNIS COURT SUPERVISORS @ TIMER/SCORER-BASKETBALL LEAGUE @ CUSTOMER SERVICE STAFF* * applications will only be accepted after March 1 Please submit your application with a resume to the Physical Education Department Office R-247. The Underground © 4 Paul Robles: Monkey Wednesday, January 22, 2003 God's p.1 2 SuperBuild Funding May Noi Be So Super For UTSC p.7 Also in this Issue: Editorial p.4 Letters p.5 Events Listings p.19 News (or Views) CUP Conference 2003 p.é Activist says policy exploits immigrants p. 7 Superbowl provides excuse for drinking and political discourse p. 7 The Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung, Holly Cousineau Contributors: David Hale, Julianne Baragar Special thanks to guest Art Director, John Loerchner, for the fancy-schmancy cover- design. Send gifts to John, c/o The Underground, at the address below and somewhat to the right. Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 4265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 (in the portable) - Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: — undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http:/Awww.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ dae ee eee ee eee erence —_—$ LLL | http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Arts The Funny Boy Comes to University of Toronto p.10 Beautiful Crimes p. 10 Life The | am Canadian Club: A Club for All Canadians at UTSC p.15 Rants Popular Idiots p.16 Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager Associate Production Manager News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor . Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Susie Lopes Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Columns Weekly Haiku p.9 _ Satan's Bakesale p.17 Diversions p.18 Groundworks p.8 Letters and Opinions Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The _ Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca (A sci-fi adventure, by David Hale) The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation, It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The Underground’ > >’ ' Editorial EDITORIAL FROM A HALF- ASSED EDITOR | think that if you were an alien - and | know for a fact that you are - you could likely come to Earth for only this week and bear witness to nearly everything that is wrong with North American popular culture (‘American’ being the operative word there). Possibly freshest in your mind is Sunday’s Superbowl, the biggest sporting event of the football fan’s calendar year. However, the vast majority of viewers of this event are not football fans in the least. Rather, it’s become an increas- ing trend to watch the Superbowl merely “for the commercials.” Now, I'm by no means a football fan, and | would go so far as to say that | find the game tiresome at best, but the fact that there are so many WELOVELOVE (and so do you, admit it!) We're currently accepting Valentine's Day greetings/personals! Tell that hottie you've been checking her/him out with the safe consumers, ravenous and willing to tune into three hours of football anonymity of newsprint! in order to see a few commercials (and an abhorrent performance by Shania Twain, No Doubt, and Sting) piques my interest, especially as a student who’s looking towards a career in marketing. Do you Example - even remember a time when it was difficult for us to sell you things? Do you remember a time when commercials were an opportunity to get that thirteenth beer or to crack another bottle of 151? It seems YOU: Eating roti in the H-Wing Cafe in that sexy way you eat your roti. as though we've forgotten that ironic stance we used to take while ME: Eyeing you from behind my copy of 100 Days of watching Superbowl commercials, and are now deeply entrenched in : : : ‘ the marketing spectacle. By watching the Superbowl for the ads, you Solitude and beating off. Meet me in the S-Wing perpetuate the spectacle, putting the game itself farther and farther stairwell on Friday! into the background. ' And while we're on the topic of spectacle, here’s American Idol again. I'll admit it, they got me the first time around. | watched the Idol 1 for the same reason that many, if not most of the other couple Send your message via the technopoly of the Web to: million or so viewers that tuned in each week did: to see a few people get emotionally destroyed, live in the comfort of my living room. And underg round _love@ace-of-base.com Idol delivered. We got to see girls break down into tears as their dreams of stardom were shattered, while the guys threw hissy fits in the face of producer Simon Cowell’s unabashedly honest and hilari- ously hurtful comments. Comments such as “if you win this contest, we will truly know that we have failed” had me on the floor in hysterics. | mean, that’s just good TV. Seeing people get broken down to the level of mere infants and suffering what | can only hope is long-term emotional trauma is what reality TV is all about. Even if you don’t admit it to yourself or describe it in those terms, that’s why you tune in to any series in the reality genre. But! digress. There’s something h C profoundly wrong with /do/ this time around. See, insofar as the series Abo ut t e ove r had an appeal outside of the reason that | just mentioned, it was that you would get to see “a star in the making”, and they really had you believing it, didn’t they? The producers employed elaborate stage setups, an audience of millions, and a rigorous selection process in order to convince you that they were running some sort of legitimate ‘Star Search’ deal. But something went wrong when the show ended. issue. His pieces are displayed in the The winner, Kelly Clarkson, quickly went the way of other such artists : as Marcy Playground or Jimmy Ray, namely, she burned out after one Gallery until March 9. song. So if we know in advance (in case we didn't the first time) that the winner is by no means guaranteed any measure of stardom, then is there really any reason to watch? Let's face it, after the extensive auditions and the weeks upon weeks of performances (of the same goddamned song, no less), we're left with an individual who, despite being genuinely talented, had a career that fizzled after about a month. No diggity, the actual series lasted longer than Ms. Clarkson’s fifteen minutes of fame. With /do/ 2 now in full swing, you can all but forget about Kelly. She will fade away while Cowell and the rest of the judges choose another to replace her, with likely the same results. This time, though, you could probably put money on the new idol being male, in order to appeal to the show’s overwhelming majority of female view- ers. Who knows, maybe the new idol’s career will last two months this time. As for Clarkson, | have only two words: softcore porn. Speaking of softcore porn, let's take a look at this week's issue, shall we? We have an important piece on some recalled (legal) drugs that you should probably read, as well as a special report from the Canadian University Press Conference in Montreal. We've also got an update on the SuperBuild situation, and an insider's perspective on the | Am Canadian Club. Yes, it's more, much more than ever before here at the Underground. A virtual smorgasbord of...Oh screw this, editorials are clearly not my strong suit. Do me a favour, will you? Just pretend that you read something really good or profound here. Enjoy the issue. Sachin “I’m better at haiku” Hingoo Associate Editor | 4 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ’ Sachin says, This year, say it with haiku! One of Paul Robles’ work, featured in this ) | i'Letters’ Wednesday, January 29, 2003 A Response to Sachin Hingoo’s article about harm reduction in last week’s issue: Sachin, you are but a genius to sug- gest such a progressive tactic to address current illicit drug use trends. Indeed, attempting to educate people about the effects of drugs in terms of altering their state of mind and in terms of the known effects on their daily lives is, in my opin- ion, far better than simply making drugs illegal and use thereof punishable. This progressive ideology stems from treating the cause of a problem rather than sup- pressing the symptoms of it. However, the purpose of my letter is not to exhaust my thoughts on the issues of drug laws, but instead to remind you of a club that was initiated but a few years ago - the Cannabis Awareness and Culture group (CAC). Yes, now you remember. Well, the mandate of CAC was to do exactly what you beg for in your article, and right here at UTSC as well. CAC was a group where people that were considering the use of mind altering DRUGS could come and /earn about the experiences of others in order for them to make a more educated decision about trying DRUGS. This way, someone who was thinking of dropping ACID for the first time might find out that the ACID tabs with the smiley faces were laced with some other DRUG as well, while the tabs with pink triangles were not. Or they might have found out that MAGIC MUSHROOMS (psilocybin) pack quite a punch on the first-time user, and that they should try the SHROOMS in a place they feel comfortable in, rather than a rave. These are things that CAC firmly believed in, which is why student affairs okayed the existence of what many might have thought was a POT smoking club. Unfortunately, most people weren't that interested in CAC. Not even the seri- ous drug users. As a result, CAC ceased to operate as a club after one year of existence due to a lack of involvement. It seems this lack of student initiative, involvement, and commitment is quite common across a variety of disciplines at UTSC. This is in complete agree- ment with Gordon Lane’s comment in the News in Brief last week that UTSC students don’t do anything. So, | ask why do you bitch and whine about U of T not having a program that educates students about drugs when we did have one, right here in Scarlem.... a program that fell apart due to lack of initiative. If you’re interested in reviving CAC or a version thereof, the club’s con- stitution still exists. Quentin Stossel PS: As a side note, why do cer- tain faculty members, who should be setting an example for students, wait inside the S-Wing hallway during a fire alarm instead of going outside? Are they somehow exempt from catching on fire? “Because they’re cold” is NOT an accept- able answer. mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters Exams: what are they good for? (Absolutely nothin’) By Marjan Tehrani Staff Writer | am troubled by many things. | am troubled by George Bush’s stupidity. | am troubled by the fact that post-second- ary education is what it is. Mostly, | am troubled by the way that this institution chooses to place us in categories of intel- ligence just by issuing a couple of exams. In high school, we are constantly told that our teachers are preparing us for univer- sity... my ass they are. If that’s true, the high school | went to, which shall remain nameless, did a shit job at preparing me for this type of institution. In my high school, in one of my classes, my teacher sat in front of the class and played games on his laptop, while the rest of us talked with one another, chatted on our cell phones with friends, showed each cther new tattoos and piercings, went and got food, or just got up and went for a walk which most often lasted the entire period. In another one of my classes, the teacher sat in the back office, only to come out to take attendance and help students when they needed it....which was hardly ever. Not to say that my high school was all crap....there were classes that were extremely serious. The 75 minute class usually turned into about 50 minutes of actual work being done, while the rest of the time it was for chilling. My high school did not prepare me for a higher institution. | came to university and was suddenly hit by a lightening bolt. | sat in my first psychology class and was told that my entire grade is made up of four exams, each worth 25% of my final grade. Some of you might wonder why |’m bitching about this...you’re thinking that it’s great because there are no assignments to do and no papers to write. I, on the other hand, was completely shocked. | don’t understand how giving me 50 questions (and an hour to complete them) a professor or T.A. will be able to conclude how much | have learned, and whether or not | did all my readings. By giving me a bunch of questions and an hour to write them, all the school is doing is seeing how well | work under pressure, and how much information | can cram into my head, which is not in any way an indication of the amount of work | have put into the course. Don’t think that I’m just picking on psychology....there are other courses like Sociology and Statistics that do the same thing. | understand that there are many students in these courses and it's hard for the professors to give out assignments and papers, but not every- one is excellent at writing exams; some of us need to have the opportunity to make up marks in different ways. Therefore, we should have the chance to earn that 4.0 GPA some other way. | know that in the real world there are pressures and consequences for fucking up, but once in a while people do need a break. Seeing how much | can glow in an hour (since I’m a girl and girls don’t sweat), is not the proper way to judge my understanding of the course content. eee 8888888881838 OOOO http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ FANS OC 7 ‘The Underground: bee rk ew? CUP Conference 2003 Montreal hosts raging pack of student journalists Posing as “real journalists’, members of the Canadian University Press flocked to the sex-shop and strip-club-ridden metropolis of Montreal last week for the organization’s National Conference. On the pretext of attending educational seminars and working on CUP policy, members of student media have taken up several floors of the Crowne Plaza Montreal Centre. Keynote speakers have included the Honourable Sheila Copps and uber-lefty columnist/activist/thinker Rick Salutin. The Underground sent three delegates to the conference, and they have not been seen in several hours. CBC President and CEO promotes socialist journal- ism Last Friday, CBC/Radio Canada President Robert Rabinovitch gave a rambling bilingual speech to a crowd of bleary-eyed student journalists as they munched their brunch. Over grapefruit juice and bad coffee, Rabinovitch spoke about the continuing chal- lenges of the CBC’s dwindling budget, diversity of programming for the pluralist Canadian culture and over multiple platforms, such as television, radio, web and so on. Rabinovitch spoke candidly with the audi- ence about the CBC’s mandate, which, it turns out, is not to “catch eyes”. Instead, the CBC has taken a more “alternative” approach, by actively cultivating quality Canadian programming without respect to the “bottom- line”. Student journalists also learned that it “costs money” to have good journalism, and that a budget that THAT’S RIGHT, WE’RE TELLING YOU NOT TO TAKE (THESE) DRUGS Many of you have likely gotten this by e- relies heavily on advertising revenue (the CBC does not) will “pander” and “shill” to the masses, with CNN- esque coverage. Citing the “dash for the scoop” tactics of other news-television networks, Rabinovitch qualified the CBC’s more balanced approach by falling back to CBC’s mandate once more, quipping: “We don’t want to be first, we want to be right.” Truly, elitism is not dead in our beloved public broadcasting institution. —Chris McKinnon Sook-Yin Lee inspires at conference Sook-Yin Lee rounded out the end of the presenters Saturday night, coming out to an eager crowd curious as to what she would talk about. Encouraging everyone to gather around close and get comfortable (an odd notion in the expansive ballroom where the speeches were given), she began by explaining her youth in Vancouver, growing up as a high school dropout, exploring the city’s music scene. It was striking to learn that a person, so obviously knowledgeable from listening to her speak, had always made it a point to be self-educated and to teach herself whatever she needed to learn. Reason enough to question my expensive education. What was truly striking however were the examples of her work that she showed to the audience. From a drunken inter- view with the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion that turned into a UFO sighting, to the story of the homeless teen- ager doing his ‘laundry’, to the bizarre encounter with the world’s strongest man, Sook-Yin’s work showed that focusing on the story itself and not some intended mes- sage could make for the most potent journalism. She seemed less a reporter and more a story-teller, finding moments in real life that spoke more for themselves than any amount of editorializing. When the time came to leave no one was willing to budge, not even Sook- Yin. Never before have | seen so many strangers so comfortable in a room together than when listening to this woman speak. —Keith Friedlander Heritage Minister winks... Seriously considering taking the PM’s job The Honourable Minister of Canadian Heritage, Sheil Copps, winked coyly at student journalists as she said that she was “seriously considering running for the leadership” of the federal Liberal Party. Copps spoke last Friday to student journalists at the Canadian University Press National Conference. Her speech began in good old-fashioned rally-style, as she glossed over broad issues of relevance to university students. Equity issues, student loan reforms, environment. Copps then took a series of detailed questions, to which she responded with unexpected fervour and eloquence on issues as broad as copyright law and gender equal- ity. Copps left the conference with a promise to release a “blueprint for a new Canada’ in the very near future. If the Minister is making the preliminary motions towards succeeding Mr. Chretien, she certainly had the support of the student media present. the general consensus seemed to be: Better Copps, than Paul Martin. —Chris McKinnon mail by now, but this is just for those who may not. Drug companies are recalling the following drugs and any others that contain the chemi- cal PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE. They have been known, in certain cases, to cause brain hemorrhaging in women 18 to 49 within three days of starting the medication. It’s suggested that if you are taking these drugs, please call the 800 number on the package. You will be entitled to a refund on these products. Though the problem has only been detected in women, it has been recommended by the FDA that men and espécially children also stop taking any medication containing this ingredient. Here at the Underground, we prefer our readers to be, yau know, alive: To confirm these findings please take time to check the following: http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/infopage/ppa/default.htm 6 http://Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ _News a | immigrants David Parry, The McGill Daily (Published: 27/01/03) MONTREAL (CUP) -- New immigration and protec- tionist measures created after Sept. 11 have created objectionable barriers to migration and a means to exploit groups of people, according to Montreal activist Jaggi Singh. Singh spoke to an audience of roughly 40 in a workshop at McGill University Wednesday after- noon entitled “No One is Illegal: Understanding Global Apartheid.” The event was part of McGill's first annual Equity Week. Singh argued that measures supposedly enacted in the interest of national security allow for the disenfranchisement of foreign citizens living in Canada. “These barriers aren't so much to keep people out, but to ensure that if people get in ... then their status here is not permanent,” he said. “They're vulner- able, illegal, non-status, temporary. All the better to be able to exploit people and render them pas- sive, render them less likely to demand their rights.” Singh said that these barriers to immigration have sprung from changes to the immigration laws and the refugee selection processes, which he believes create a_ structural "There is a refugee selection process where you have to prove that you had a gun to you head, which doesn't really deal with what it means to be a refugee,..he said. “It’s set up to exclude a large amount of people who need protection.” Singh pointed to the case of non-status Algerians in Montreal fleeing violence in their country as a current example of this exclusion. “Many of the non-status Algerians who had their refugee claim refused had it refused because...they couldn't prove http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Activist says policy exploits form of racism. that they would be in danger if they returned,” he said. Singh compared the new _ refugee-process- ing measures to contentious immigration — poli- cies of the past, particularly the head tax imposed upon Chinese immigrants in the early 1900s. “Everyone who’s making a refugee claim in Canada has to pay $550 per head,” he said. “When you come here with nothing, that’s a head tax.” Singh pointed to United Nations statistics that predict increasing rates of global migration, a major issue he says Western governments must attend to in the coming decades. “Right now there are 150 million people per year who move across borders,” Singh said. “The UN estimates that that’s double what it was in the 1980s, and that it'll double again in the next 10 years.” Singh further argued that Plan Pueblo Panama (PPP), a Central American development project spear- headed by the Inter-American Development Bank, will cause a large wave of migration to North America. “What [PPP] will do, and everybody predicts this, even the proponents of the plan, is create massive numbers of migrants ... They'll probably come to the U.S.,” he said. “There will be this insidious situation where you displace people ... and they’re faced with a militarized border.” Singh is a well-known activist who has taken part in many anti-globalization protests throughout Canada. He was most recently detained in Israel after he attempted to enter the West Bank on a fact-finding mission of potential human rights abuses against Palestinians. Dan Sharpe News Editor Well, another Super Bowl has come and gone. | could tell you about the game, but frankly this is not a sports section, and | have no interest in turning it into one. So instead | am going to report on what we did while watching the game. A collection of UTSC stu- dents gathered at the Fossil and Haggis to watch the game and discuss life in general. Ironically, much of the alcohol-fueled conversation around the table did not center on football. No, globalization and anti-cor- porate propaganda was rife (mostly thanks to my fellow news editor, Gordon Lane). The game itself was an Wednesday, January 29, 2003 Superbowl provides excuse for drinking and political discourse afterthought, though | did win $20. One of the most repeated comments was “I really don’t understand foot- ball”. Yet these people still came out to the bar with us. | found this to be refreshing. The people who gathered around our table were not there just to watch the game. They were there to enjoy the companionship of their fellow students. This is an attitude that | have found to be sorely lacking at this campus. It was nice to spend an evening in the company of my best friends (alcohol included) and discuss the world in general. We hope to see you next year. The Undergroond .oheccre/ Groundworks | David Hale Nervousness gripped Lotus. The meet that had been set up with Morgan's team was supposed to be routine. The unfortunate thing about it was that her employer had asked for an extra service. Wetwork. Normally such a request wasn’t unheard of, but Lotus had never liked killing much, nor was she very good at it. The Johnson hadn't mentioned why he wanted it done, and it wouldn't have been professional of her to question. She sat in the plush interior of the company’s Phaeton mulling these thoughts over in her head. She looked up as a soft “Snick...Snick,” sound got her attention. Rex, the ork bodyguard under her employ, looked eager. He sat grinning and systematically extending and retracting the spurs implanted in the back of his right hand. The 30cm carbide spikes flicked in and out, in time with the Neo-thrash that played on the radio. The soft “Snick...Snick,” that they made kept the beat of the drums as his toe tapped out the rhythm. London, the human of the pair, looked indifferent. He sat with his Italian boots propped up on the minibar as he leafed through the latest issue of GQ. He exuded the essence of composure. When the Johnson had pro- posed the idea of killing the runners, London had acted like he was just asked to perform the most tedious task in existence. After some of Lotus’ persuading however, the mage had begrudgingly agreed. As the limo trundled on, Rex broke the silence between songs. “So, who is this Morgan guy gonna have with ‘im anyway?” Lotus opened her pretty mouth to speak, but was interrupted as London spoke, not looking up from his magazine. “Well, there is the rigger and the decker that the Johnson hired, and one of Morgan's friends. A sorcerer if | remember correctly,” he finished in a patron- izing tone. Rex looked blankly at London for a moment. “So, why did this Renraku exec want the runners to steal something from his own company?” “He didn’t disclose the details to me, but | assume it was for personal gain,” replied London condescend- ingly. “Oh,” replied Rex simply. He paused for a moment before returning to keeping time with the song. ‘Idiots’ thought Lotus to herself. Although what London had said was true, he had no idea at what scale. The Johnson planned to defect from Renraku. It seemed that the Mitsuhama Corporation was offering a cushy job and a larger payroll. Lotus had had the fore- sight to do some background checking on her employer. She was also planning to blackmail the Johnson with the information she had found. She knew that company policy in the Renraku Corporation for deflection was immediate death. She figured that this knowledge and the information that she held on the datachip in her pocket would be enough incentive for him to give her what she wanted. At any cost. She patted the pocket affectionately. It was her ticket out. The payoff from this scam would be substantial enough to get her out of Seattle. Maybe even enough to get her a nice place in Tir Tairngire. It had been years since she had been within the borders of the lush elven nation. The Tir is heaven compared to the polluted war- torn streets of Seattle. Even the ritzy regions of uptown Renton didn’t compare to the splendor of the Tir. As the Phaeton pulled up outside the small coffee house where the meet was to take place her mind snapped back to the task at hand. Willing herself to be strong she checked the Ares Viper that was concealed by her stylishly cut jacket. Glancing briefly at Rex and London, she stepped out of the car. xk * Morgan sat facing the door at the small table in the back of the sparsely populated coffee house. He and his team were in high spirits after their successful run. Everyone was talking and making jokes. Even Haze’s permanent scowl had lightened into a sneer. The few days of rest they had spent at another safehouse had given Morgan a chance to go over his feelings about the other night. He had rationalized it all out, and had finally decided to be comfortable with the excuse: “It was them or me.” No one had said a word about his ‘breakdown,’ which suited Morgan fine, because he didn’t want to talk about it anyway. Feeling detached from the group’s merriment, he excused himself to get another drink from the bar. While waiting for his drink he turned back to study his new friends carefully. Haze sat next to Jester, the odd pair flanking Morgan’s seat. Jester laughed as he poured cream and sugar into the ashtray dousing Haze’s nicostik. Zen sat across from them, attempting to conceal a smile with one of her patented frowns. At Zen’s feet lay a black attaché case containing the ‘Renraku Raider’ cyberdeck. Periodically she would glance at it, as if to make sure it was still there. Even though the case was unlikely to sprout legs and walk away, stranger things have happened. Besides, in 2060, paranoia is a way Of life. Returning to his seat, Morgan took a look around the table. Jester shot him a friendly grin and took a sip from his steaming mug. The huge troll rigger had proved him- self to be an enigma. His genuinely friendly disposition and smiling face had made he and Morgan fast friends. Haze, sitting next to Jester, was a strange contrast. The short and stocky dwarf sorcerer was repulsive in per- sonality as well as appearance. If not for his profession- alism and talent, he could have been a great detriment to the team’s morale. But as a wise man once said, “You can’t pick your allies.” Haze glanced around the table briefly, before standing wordlessly and heading off towards the washroom. Zen, who was normally anti- social, had spent a few hours surfing the Matrix on their newly acquired cyberdeck. This had seemed to perk her up a bit. She had described the experience as being like: “Riding on the back of a Great Dragon hopped up on cram, without a seatbelt.” Her eyes were bright with glee and her lips curled into a pretty smile. Morgan had been afraid to tell her that she had to give it up. He, after some persuading and heavy bribing, had finally talked Haze into telling her. Good thing too; Haze’s jaw was still swollen from where she had hit him. As the door of the bar opened, Morgan came out of his happy reverie. Lotus entered the bar, her long legs carrying her quickly into the room. Morgan smiled a greeting and waved her over to the table. Directly behind her entered London and Rex. Morgan's smile dropped as he spied each of them gripping a SMG. Reacting..quickly,...M: i hind the table. The autofire | d aline in the wall behind would have cut the trio burst from Rex’s H them, where only mo in half. The bartender came t ners by pulling a sawed off bar. As his sight lined up on towards him. The clout spell tosse a toy against the bottle lined wall be form disappeared behind the bar wit The sound of shattering glass followed him as a line of bottles crashed to the floor. Using the table as a shield, Morgan popped up, Guardian in hand. Using his smartlink, he lined the crosshair on his retina up with Rex’s thigh. Squeezing the trigger, he sent a round ripping through the unpro- tective cloth and knocked Rex down on one knee. The large ork cried out in pain through gritted teeth. The muzzle of his HK227 arced towards the ceiling as he landed on his knee. A stray slug slammed into the left side of Morgan’s chest. The armor plating in his long coat managed to stop the round, but the force of the blast spun Morgan around knocking him to the floor. Wheezing, he rubbed his ribs beneath his coat with a pained expression. The squashed slug slid dully to the ground. Jester crouched, doubled over in an attempt to shel- ter his massive form behind the table. Grinning slightly, he slapped a fresh clip into the Colt Cobra that he held. Shoving himself to his feet he lept over the table. “Cover me!” he yelled as his feet touched the ground. Zen replied by offloading her trusty Walther PB-120’s. The suppression fire sent Lotus and London scattering for cover. The prone Rex, flattened himself against the ground covering his head with his hands. Jester dashed past him and vaulted over the bar. He landed in a crouch as flechette rounds splintered the wood behind him. The washroom door burst open as Haze stepped into the room, Remmington Roomsweeper in hand. Quickly assessing the situation, he tossed a manabolt spell at Lotus’ turned back. The spell streaked across the room. As it slammed into the shapely form there was a crackle of magical energy. The barrier spell around her himmered as it shrugged off the manabolt. Lotus spun | roam behind the oar http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Groundworks Wednesday, January 29, 2003 reach. Morgan took charge of the situation. “Jester, oe start the truck. Haze you go with him and 2e-Star. Zen, you search Lotus, | flattened themselves against the magical shield that on her heel and went into a crouch. Her Viper spewed protected Lotus. Zen took eggs from her Penal flechette rounds into the doorway surrounding Haz@x=.behind.th : forcing the dwarf back into the washroom for cover. Zen glanced over her shoulder at Morgan, as she reloaded her pistols. “Are you hurt?” she asked quickly. “No, not badly,” returned Morgan. “Then get off your ass!” she spat harshly. Morgan complied. Pushing himself to his feet he fired at Rex. The wounded street samurai launched himself onto his one good leg. He almost shimmered as he moved, the wired reflexes that enhanced his reaction made the world around him seem as if it was moving in slow-motion. Discarding his HK227, he lunged at Morgan, the 30cm spurs extending menac- ingly. Morgan brought his hand up quickly to ward off the attack. Dropping his Guardian, Morgan grabbed the samurai’s wrist before the spurs could penetrate his chest. The momentum from the blow sent the pair crashing to the floor. Shifting his weight Morgan planted his foot on Rex’s stomach. Rolling back on his shoul- der Morgan launched the off balance razorboy head over heels with a double booted kick. Rex grunted as he hit the wall. Twisting in the air, he landed easily on his palms. Morgan let inertia roll him backwards onto his feet. Spinning, his foot lashed out in a roundhouse. Rex ducked the attack and rushed forward. As Rex's left hand grabbed behind Morgan’s knee, he raised his forearm and elbowed him in the solar plexus. The wind rushed out of Morgan’s lungs. His back landed heavily on the wooden floorboards stunning him. Rex stood on his one good leg and brought down his spurs savagely towards Morgan's bared throat. Morgan twisted at the waist, rolling out of the way. Rex’s blades, having his entire weight behind them, imbedded deeply eeing his victim trying to escape, Rex’s t found himself stuck fast to the floor. is feet. He wheezed for a bit as he ig back to Rex he was pleasantly ilant, nailed to the ground. f.his opponent's weakness, surprised to back. Following through wounded thigh. “Take that, autofire weekly haiku by sachin hingoo TL AM Psyctlofic T want 10 Kivi MEL LAS|MA BACK, Wb To The LEPT= Ss fast. Haze on the other hand a nicostik clenched between was losing ¢ looked calm leaping from his fing: forcing him to retrea cut clothing, his spells flames burned his flesh. Thro he began to thrash about helplessly in an attempt to extinguish the flames. Haze watched with a smile as the body wracked in agony one last time before laying still. The small flames died out and disappeared. Dropping the butt of the nicostik from his mouth Haze extin- guished it with the sole of his boot. “Burn, Baby, Burn...” he mumbled with a chuckle. The barrier spell having been dropped, Lotus found herself surrounded. Nervously waving her Viper around she pulled the trigger. A dull click resounded heavily. The clip was empty. Turning around she came face to face with the lethal end of Morgan’s Guardian. “That’s enough chummer,” he said coolly, easing the hammer back for effect. Lotus glanced at her fallen bodyguards, and then at Rex’s discarded HK227, which lay only meters away from her. Morgan followed her line of sight and then quickly snapped his eyes back to her. “Don’t even think ite His voice trailed off as she lunged for the weapon, her small hands splayed wide as she grasped for the handle. She hit the floor and her hands clutched at air as Haze snatched the SMG from her reach. The toe of his boot collided with her pretty mouth, snapping her head back. He trained the submachine gun on her as she lay holding her face, blood and spittle dripping to the floor. “Bloody elves,” he sneered coldly. Jester stepped out from behind the bar and tossed away an empty clip. Walking to where Rex was pinned to the floor, he grinned jovially at the stuck samurai. Rex glared and lashed out, but Jester was just beyond his the door. Haze walked to the sam’s head. Morgan frowned, ‘Too much fraggin ing quite ill. Zen holstered “Well, allo ” she said softly to herself. Gianeng over her shoulder, she made sure that no one was watching before she slid it into her pocket. Morgan looked at London's charred body, and gri- maced. The corpse smoldered, casting off a wretched smell of burnt flesh that made Morgan’s stomach churn. He looked at Rex’s decapitated body and bile rose in his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw London’s body twitch. Watching the torched figure a few moments longer he blinked. ‘Must’ve been my imagination,’ he laughed inwardly at himself. Shaking his head to clear it he moved to search Rex’s body, but decided against it as he gagged and had to turn away. Turning his back on the gruesome sight he motioned Zen to the door and walked out of the bar... DISTANCE ART THERAPY TRAINING Applications are invited for the Master of Counselling: Art Therapy Specialization offered by the VANCOUVER ART THERAPY INSTITUTE and the Campus Alberta Graduate Program in Counselling: a joint initiative of Athabasca University, University of Calgary, University of Lethbridge as well as our unique ADVANCED DIPLOMA program for individuals who have a Master’s degree. Phone (604) 926-9381 email: vatimail@telus.net Vancouver Art Therapy Institute http://www.vati.bc.ca Campus Alberta http://www.abcounsellored.net Founded in 1982, VATI is accredited by the Private Post Secondary Education Commission of British Columbia. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground CRRA BARE AOR ER BON OR UF WTOP EF eres tr tr te er ta ar ae The Funny Boy Comes to University of Toronto Meghan Hurley On Friday, January 24, The Cultural Affairs Literary Committee presented a reading by author Shyam Selvadurai in the Leigha Lee Browne Theatre. Selvadurai came to Canada with his family from Sri Lanka at the age of nineteen to study creative and magazine writing at York University. He completed a B.F.A from York before beginning his first novel called Funny Boy. His first novel was published to acclaim in 1994 and won the W.H Smith/Books First Novel Award in Canada. In the U.S he was awarded The Lambda Literary Award for Best Gay Men’s Fiction. His debut novel, Funny Boy, is a historically accu- rate representation of an upper class family in Sri Lanka. The politically sensitive issue of homosexuality is addressed in his novel as a way to illustrate its pres- ence in Sri Lanka, despite constraining and dehuman- izing laws against it. Although it is a sensitive subject, in an interactive discussion with the audience, Selvadurai commented that he “wanted to write about a book and worry about the reaction later.” Like any good author, he wrote Funny Boy according to his own beliefs, ignor- By Holly Cousineau Staff Writer Play: Crimes Written by: Adam Nashman Directed by: Hrant Alianak Produced by: Alianak Theatre Production in association with Bald Ego Theatre & Threshold Theatre Starring: Allon Nashman, Allan Aarons, Oliver Becker, Catherine Black, Garo Britsian, Valerie Buhagiar, Daniel Kash and Michael Wal Rating: 4/5 stars ing the popular ideologies on the subject in Sri Lanka. Selvadurai remarked that Funny Boy is about many cur- rent issues that are prevalent in Canada, although the setting of the novel is in Sri Lanka. By living in Toronto, he was able to construct a novel that any individual can relate to and enjoy. His next success, Cinnamon Gardens, is set in the world of 1920’s among the upper class. Selvadurai’s adventure in writing is what enabled him to create a second masterpiece. Similar to his first novel, Cinnamon Gardens is a very accurate representa- tion of the historical movements in Sri Lanka during the 1920’s. He is fascinated with history because he was never able to study issues such as the women’s movement while he lived in Sri Lanka. His second novel demonstrates the struggle of a woman to be liberated in an oppressive society. As a result of his own jagged feelings of liberation, he felt compelled to research the topic, and ultimately create an award-winning novel as a result. Although historical information was necessary to create such a novel, he found it difficult to ensure that the narrative was not overwhelmed with history. Instead, Selvadurai wanted history to happen to the characters, and to have a fascinating story emerge from this history. The woman in Cinnamon Gardens came out of the idea of ‘new women’ in Sri Lanka. The independent ‘new woman’ was described perfectly in his novel according to the circumstances of Sri Lanka during the 1920's. Shyam Selvadurai is in the process of writing his third novel, which is partly set in Canada. Although he cannot reveal the details of his third book, he did men- tion that writing ultimately comes from your soul. During the reading, Selvadurai described the writing process of a novel as involving great patience. In writing two novels, he discovered that “what you begin with and what you end with are very different.” A change in the direction of the novel has nothing to do with the ambitions of the author, but rather the development of the characters as the writing process progresses. He is such a passion- ate and talented author that his next novel will almost certainly be an award-winning masterpiece. Beautiful Crimes Crimes is a vivid exploration of the existing hatred that different races have for each other, even decades after the first genocides of the twentieth century. Tir, an archeologist, gets commissioned by a corporation to verify the emotional value of a church located on the land they wish to mine in. They need to know if there is truth to the legend that the spear of destiny, the one that pierced Jesus Christ’s side, was once housed in that church. For this job, Tir will have to travel to Armenia, his grandfather's homeland. In fact, his grandfather, Kricor, was a survivor of the Armenian genocide that occurred in 1915. He was one of the hundred children brought to Canada and given a chance to prosper there. After having survived death marches and starvation, Kricor had to figure out how to survive in an entirely new society where all that he had left of his own culture was his name. When World War Two erupted, he enlisted in the army and fought overseas. In England he met a Jewish woman named Elizabeth, and after the war they settle down in Canada together. Even though Tir has a rich background he refuses to identify himself as anything other than Canadian. Prior to his new job opportunity, Tir spends most of his time at home indulging in drugs while watching televi- sion. When his grandfather finds out that he going to be spending time in Armenia he is glad to see his grandson going to his homeland. However, he warns him that the sole thing that will protect him from the hatred of others is his hatred of them. He cautions him about the preju- dices of man, about past hate still existing and never seeming to dissipate. Tir disregards his grandfathers’ remarks and embarks on his journey. He encounters many different people on his search for the spear. Each person is using some form of drug and Tir gets to try all of them. Every session initi- ates horrifying hallucination revealing the past crimes against his ancestors. As time passes, the exposure to his hallucinations of the war, the depth of others’ hatred and the denial of those past crimes, somehow creates a sense of identity in Tir. An identity that he is willing to fight for. Crimes is a truly amazing play that invokes a great range of emotions from the audience and exposes the darker side of humanity. The projec- tor and three sets create such credible scenes that they could only be surpassed in greatness by the highs and lows of the actors’ excellent portray- als. Overall, it is a beautifully orchestrated piece. Crimes will be playing until February 1 at the Berkeley Street Theatre Upstairs at 26 Berkeley Street. 10 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The! Underground. , that there is always 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ a ~ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday, January 29, 2003 13 The Underground Life SuperBuild Funding|Mla Be So Super For UtiSG Christian Lucier Life Editor As students of UTSC, many of us have heard the term ‘SuperBuild’ over the last year or two. SuperBuild funding sounds pretty straightforward — funding that is meant for substantially heavy construction. The students of UTSC have certainly seen SuperBuild in full effect, considering that the Academic Resource Center (ARC) and Phase Four Student Residence are being erected with this funding. However, UTSC’s part in SuperBuild funding has not been as clear-cut as some of us thought it was. A portion of SuperBuild funding for UTSC has come at a cost, which, in this reporter’s opinion, will be the University of Toronto’s good name and reputation itself. SuperBuild funding is money pro- vided by the Province of Ontario for schools, hospitals, universities, and such. If one of the previously mentioned categories is lacking in terms of facilities and space, money is supplied by the Province to meet the demand through phases. There were two phases of SuperBuild funding this year, with a third phase to come. The University of Toronto has received money for various projects in phases one and two, and is currently applying for more funds in. phase three. It is undisclosed as to whether UTSC specifically received any of the funds the University of Toronto acquired in phases one and two. There are many doubts as to this issue, and the following informa- tion certainly does not make matters any better. In particular, | am talking about the ARC. To the naked eye, it would appear as though UTSC’s SuperBuild funding is financing the construction for the ARC. It is true that money from SuperBuild is indeed bankrolling the ARC, but in fact, the funding being used was not UTSC’s to begin with. This is where Centennial comes into the picture. The University of Toronto owns the land that Centennial College is being built on. Through a land lease agreement the University of Toronto acquired from Centennial the SuperBuild Funding needed to construct the ARC. We can all thank the Province of Ontario for making this transaction possible. As of late, the Province is support- ing a closer tie between universities and colleges, hence their approval for allowing the flow of SuperBuild funding from Centennial to UTSC through the land lease agreement. Professor Ted Relph, Assistant Principal for Campus Development, states that “there had been some negotiations with Centennial about joint programmes before this hap- pened, so the SuperBuild lease arrange- ment cemented something that was already underway.” How convenient! Professor Relph hints the transaction was not “indirect but effective.” If you, the reader, cannot tell from my tone in the previous paragraphs, | am not entirely pleased with our ties with Centennial College. My main problem with Centennial is that it is indeed a col- lege. The UTSC student body pays an incredible amount of money to attend university. The prestige (if in name only) of attending UTSC can only diminish when associated with a college. And to think that UTSC is going to have joint programmes with Centennial. University is university and college is college. There is a bold line between the two that should not be crossed, because the qual- ity and type of education between the two institutions is very different. A number of the proposed joint programmes with Centennial have already taken flack from numerous critics, but | am not going to go into the specifics...yet. Some of the joint programmes that are already in place are Paramedicine, Journalism, and New Media. There are many other joint programmes on the way. | feel as though the student body is not being told everything. If we have all these joint programmes, does that mean we will be sharing the ARC with Centennial, considering that their SuperBuild funding paid for it? Quite possibly. Will Centennial students be taking classes in the already-crowded UTSC facilities? Stranger things have happened. The new relationship with Centennial appears to have been planned though; in the sense that the only reason why the powers that be initialized it was because of its conve- nience. Convenience isn’t everything though. A Toyota Camry is convenient, for example, but that does mean we should all go out and buy one. They say that UTSC is changing for the better because of all the new facili- ties set to open next year. However, little does the common student know that some of these facilities have come at a cost. We will have to wait until next year to see exactly what that cost is, yet | think | have said it in more ways then one. It would be nice to hear the student body’s opinion in this matter. Do you think a relationship with Centennial College will benefit UTSC? If so, how? 14 http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Rob Chung As | walked through the Meeting Place this past week, | saw a spec- tacle never before seen at UTSC; a_ sight that produced within me the same sense of extreme patrio- tism that we all felt watching the Winter Olympics last year, when the Canadian women and men brought home the gold medals in hockey; the same sense of national pride that | felt when | attended World Youth Day where Canadian delega- tions marched through downtown Toronto draped in Canadian flags, singing ‘O Canada’ for all to hear. To my very eyes appeared such a sight of beauty that | thought | had fallen asleep during my Rise of the Novel class again, and was_ sleepwalk- ing in a wonderful dream-like state. But alas, what | saw was real: the | Am Canadian Club, a group of stu- dents gathered together covered in » Canadian paraphernalia to celebrate the sheer joy of being Canadian - a club that welcomes all students and excludes none, a club that fully appreciates the nation that we all call home, a club that feels pride at the fact that only in Canada can one find a Tim Hortons on every street corner. And as a true patriot and one who believes that UTSC is in fact a part of Canada, | honestly believe that the | Am Canadian Club at UTSC is the greatest thing since Microwave Kraft Dinner. | had the opportunity to speak to three members of the executive committee of the IACC, who were three of the most polite and friendly people | have ever encountered at UTSC. Shay-Lea O’Brien, the Prime Minister of the club, Lindsay Orr, the Deputy P.M., and Chris Van Underground Staff Abbema, the treasurer, took time out of their busy schedules to speak to me about the club and its founding principles. Five first-year students who felt that no club at UTSC ful- filled their interests, or the interests of the general population of UTSC, formed the club in the winter of 2002. They wanted to create an organiza- tion for all students of UTSC, one that focused on what was common between every student here - our shared identity as Canadians. Prime Minister Shay-Lea O’Brien claims that other clubs had more political stances that did not interest her, or others she knew. She wanted to form a club whose purpose would be to gather together people who are “proud to be Canadian, who like what Canada represents, who want more information about Canada, and to just have fun.” As Lindsay Orr, the Deputy P.M. explains, “Everyone is here for a reason, but everyone still wants to have fun. All week, people would walk up to our table, sit down and talk to us for hours about any- thing and everything”, revealing the welcoming, friendly nature of the club and its members. The reasons we may have for attending UTSC may be different, but every person wants to have a good time and enjoy their stay here. And everyone in this context means everyone: no one is excluded. O’Brien believes that the club is “unifying, in the sense that we are all at U of T at Scarborough, in Canada” and that the club empha- sizes this commonality. Chris Van Abbema adds, “It is good that we're promoting a sense of national pride.” Promoting a sense of national pride among students who are constantly barraged with academic distractions is no easy task. The | Am Canadian Club has managed to attract over a hundred members in less than a year in existence, and membership will only increase. The Club has also attained sponsor- ship from many local businesses, community organizations, and local members of parliament, who are undoubtedly impressed with the level of passion the members dem- onstrate for Canada. The ideals which the club stands for are obvi- ously valued by members of the student body at UTSC, as well as the politicians and concerned busi- nesses that support the iACC. It is obvious that this group of students has created something very spe- cial, something that has inspired many people to support them in their goals to make UTSC a better place by allowing those of us who love our country to gather together and “party CANADIAN style.” Some of the events that the IACC has planned include a Skating Night at CEDEARENA, a Tobogganing Night, a Pub Night (YAY for beer!), as well as a Canada Day in winter. For more information on the club, they have an extremely kick ass website at http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/ ~iacc. There you will find bios on the IACC executive, planned evenis, news, and other stuff pertaining to the club. If you wish to join the club, you can do so by emailing them at iacc@utsc.utoronto.ca. There is a nominal fee of $5.00 that goes towards the costs of operating the club. And if any of you are awake on Monday mornings between 9 and 10am, listen to the IACC on CSCR _Wednesday, January 29; 2003 Radio @ 90.3 fm for a uniquely Canadian listening experience. So, for those of you who have a strong sense of national pride and are looking for a bunch of cool people to spend time with, check out their website and listen to them Monday mornings on the UTSC Radio station. Email the executive council and beg them to let you join their ranks. | promise you, it will be the best decision of your university careers. | already have, and so inspired by their wonderful enthusi- asm for our Canada, I’m going to put on my Roots Hoodie, watch 7 hours of Hockey Night in Canada while listening to some old Barenaked Ladies albums, with a true Canadian beer in-one hand and a Tim Hortons coffee in the other. Why? Because AM CANADIAN. Spring Break PARTY TRIPS! (Optional Snowboard/Ski trips!) Daytona Beach tom $199 Panama City Beach tron $299 Acapulco tom $1249 To book a Breakway Tours package, contact: www.travelcuts.com Tour operated by Breakaway Yours Ont. Reg. #'s 2267878 & 2422707. Prices will vary depending on departure point, Above prices based on max. occupancy. Call for hotel options, taxes and transportation info. Complete terms and conditions available at time of booking. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 15 ‘The Underground. Rants Popular Idiots John Loerchner Underground Staff | am not afraid to offend. Every day that | enter my institution of learning, a (Supposed) haven of growth and free thought, | am confronted with a slew of ant- offensive propaganda. To be honest, every new page | see posted on the walls makes me want to puke. The effective results of the “politically correct’ movement are a virus on our society parallel with that of bigotry and chauvinism. The idea that we are working towards a utopian society where each individual can live in har- mony with the next is one that we are erroneously and naively blundering at. We cannot possibly relate and benefit from one another if we spend every day watch- ing what we say and even think in order to properly interact with each other. Conflict is in our nature. Pop culture is little more than a visceral experience. It is a section of our culture that is simply accepted for what it is. It is consumed with the understanding that there simply are no metaphysical properties to these works. This portion of our society is, in its own manner, a valid and necessary dynamic in our everyday life. However, nobody accepts Britney Spears as a progres- sive artist or thinker (indeed, most of us question if she does think at all) of our time. She is simply a commer- cial object that incites basic reactions in the individual. However, when one wishes to look a little further into themselves and possibly the greater portion of humanity | am willing to bet that no one in their right mind will be turning to the mass manufacturer to provide a satisfac- tory answer. It has been the history of college and university stu- dents to rebel against the “evils” of politicians and men (I'm sorry PEOPLE) of power that plague our society. It seems to me that recently in our plight to repeat his- tory our predictability has allowed us to become pawns of the very powers that we struggle so hard to resist. What is our cause? We as the “activists” have become so involved with the idea of struggle that we are fight- ing for issues of power and cash in the name of morals and values (much like Hitler and Satan and our current adversaries).Our attempts to gain control over our situ- ation have been observed by those in power and their reaction has not been to understand our needs and sat- isfy them but simply to euphemize them. Those in power are bouncing grey issues back to us in the hopes that we interpret it as action. This has been accomplished in a very simple manner. For example, when our leaders are confronted with the issue of racism they do not look at the individual and why that individual may be con- cerned by colour of skin. They instruct us that the use of the word Negro is degrading, and therefore if we say “black” instead the problem of racism will disintegrate accordingly. This solution was presented in the 70’s and has been repeated until, through a long progression, we are now ordained to use “African-American” in its place in order to cease racism. Quite frankly, one can say ‘homosexual’ and ‘African-American’ with the same amount of wrath as one would utter the words ‘nigger’ or ‘faggot’. The issue is not that of semantics, as our “P.C.” ..the cause that our generation seems to be fighting so hard for is one that is morally analogous to that of dear Ms. Spears. liberal government has so successfully convinced us. I’m afraid that | simply do not understand what it is that everyone is fighting for. | honestly want to join in the struggle for progress (| know most of you think that’s a dirty word, think about context not simply your definition of the word ). However, the cause that our generation seems to be fighting so hard for is one that is morally analogous to that of dear Ms. Spears. We are being set in a rut of pop thought that only lies on the surface; we are accepting it and fighting vigorously for it. When we finally succeed in our plight, what have we won but another word? The fight against bigotry, sexism, and homophobia (et al) will not be won through terminology. Those that we simply do not agree with, whether we like it or not, have legitimate concerns as well. Forcing them into a social situation where they must word their volatile opinions in such a manner as not to offend does not change anything. All that this accomplishes is the illusion of understanding. This illusion is synonymous with the illusion of reality that pop culture exists upon and creates and internal resentment that most of us (I hope more than less) can identify with. What we must work towards is a state of compromise. A world in which different ideals can be understood yet not be so extreme as to ostracize a specific segment of society. We cannot be so ignorant as to expect the world to land in the center of issues in order to satisfy as our govern- ment does. Extremes are necessary in order for growth. What we need to work towards is a situation in which there are differences of opinion; but not to the point of hate. So in closing, | encourage you to grab your Gap clothes and blast your Blink 182 because | will too; but if you want to accept popular thought as your heartfelt opinion, you can do it alone. . culture is little more avisceral experience. It is a section of our culture that is simply accepted for what it is. It is consumed with the understanding that there simply are no metaphysical to these works. proper 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ~ Columns Wednesday, January 29, 2003 Peer ema ae er Ee eee eee Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) This week, my words are inspired by one of my fellow columnists. In passing, she mentioned that it’s been a repeated New Years resolu- tion for her to lose her love handles. For many years, this has been some- thing that | could relate to. However, at this point in time | feel that the quest for weight loss has gone way too far. Do we want to be healthy? Of course we do, but the ideal has become far too unrealistic. More than any other age, the year 2003 has provided us with the most unrealistic ideal of how the body is represented. This is marketed to both sexes in different ways. At the moment, however, | am most dis- gusted with the way in which women are portrayed. More and more | see sex symbols that look more like 10- year-old boys than women. Penelope Cruz, Calista Flockheart, and Lara Flynn-Boyle are all supposed to be really sexy, but it just seems to me that they are wasting away. This is all part of the horrid catch- 22 that advertisers have created for today’s youth. On the one hand, you have the marketing of food. The most affordable and least time-con- suming food is of course fast food. A kid who wants to be just like Michael Jordan, sees him in a fast food com- mercials, but you can bet Michael didn’t get where he is today by wolf- ing down the Big Macs. These com- mercials give the impression that the people who eat at these places are healthy and happy. If anyone spots an overweight person in a fast food ad, please tell me because | sure haven't seen one. Then there is the horrible super- size option. We are pumped full of the “fact” that if we don’t take advantage of the value inherent in the super- size deal, then we are fools. What?!? You don’t want to up-size to the 2- gallon bucket of fries for 25 cents? Then you just don’t understand the concept of value, my friend. See that guy over there? He’s got more than you for only a fraction more, so you're not as smart as he is. Then there come the other mental vultures: the weight loss experts. To my horror | found out that there’s actually a magazine called Shape. A fitness magazine whose name implies that they know of the exact outline of the human form that makes you more acceptable. Former star of the show The Practice, Lara Flynn- Boyle was told by producer David E. Kelly that she had to drop weight in order to stay on the program. Boyle’s weight was already so low that her ribs began to protrude grotesquely from her sides and the dispute led to her leaving the program. On one side, we are being told that we have to consume this great food, and on the other we are told that we have to attain this thin form. It becomes this cycle of worry and paranoia that plagues overweight people like myself. We are subcon- sciously told to consume and con- sume, but then we are told that we consume too much. Buy the food, then buy the Slim- Fast, then buy more food, then buy a gym membership or you won't be attractive. See this magazine? That's what attractive is these days so you'd better make sure you look like that. If you don’t, you won't fit in, and you need to fit in just like those attractive people in the fast-food commercial. But while you're there trying to fit in, make sure you super-size so you can get the best value, because you don’t want to be a sucker. It goes on and on like that. The worst offender is the Subway Corporation that tries to tell us that Jared lost all that weight just by eating there. The small print at the bottom of the screen saying that in addition to the sandwiches, Jarred ate better and exercised daily. It also tries to hide the fact that only perhaps four sandwiches on their menu have lower fat, and that’s without sauce or cheese. But that’s ok, because mil- lions of desperate overweight people who are tired of being ridiculed for their NORMAL ‘problem’ will flock to Subway and trick themselves into thinking that their sandwich makes a difference. At some point it just becomes cruel. It’s cruel to prey upon people’s insecurities, and it’s even more cruel to play with ideas of health and well- being. It also creates an unnatural image of what is beautiful. | read tons of articles bashing reality-show star Anna Nicole Smith because she is “fat”. However, the definition of fat is changing everyday. Now five pounds overweight is considered fat. Jennifer Lopez is considered fat. Has anyone bothered to look at her? Of course her ass looks big, it’s because there’s almost no waist of compare it to! So condemn me for thinking that Anna Nicole Smith: is a hottie and Penelope Cruz is not. | just don’t find myself attracted to people who look like malnourished Holocaust victims. a _ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 17 "The Underground °* Kelly Lisle & Ayshia Degia “like oor you all a in the city of Toronto. So her BoCOnee> _ 10. Go bowling! There are tons of cheap places, and they are filled with potential for fun times. 9. Thrift store shopping, where else could you find ridiculous memorabilia from your youth? 8. Enjoy cheap drinks and retro music at the Phoenix on Friday nights. 7. Go to New York Subway (Queen St, West of Bathurst) and order a potato burrito. Don’t be discouraged by the appearance of the restaurant, the health inspectors passed them two years running, and the food tastes like success. 6. Go to the AGO on Wednesday night. It’s free. 5. Goto the ROM on Friday nights. It’s also free. 4. Go for a nice skate in Nathan Phillips Square. You might have to deal with frostbite, and whiny children, but guess what? It’s free! 3. Take the ferry to Centre Island. It might be pretty cold this time of year, but its still fun (editor’s note: I’m not sure that the ferry runs to Centre Island during winter, but the park will certainly be closed. However, please keep one word in mind: VANDALISM!) 2. Go for a ride on the brand new Sheppard Subway line. Supposedly it’s really nice. 1. Hey look, #1. Cool. Since ies Mas we live in Scarborough way far Moe away from all that low cost fun, here’s a maze to do (suckers.) > finish 18 http://(www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ -, Events ‘he Underground.an Wednesday, January 29, 2003 its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Ongoing. Jan/Feb Mambo Italiano. “Coming out has never been so much fun.” Elgin Theater. Info at 416.593.4142. Ongoing. Writing Center Seminars. A must attend for most UTSC students. Topics include passive sentences, introductions and conclusions, thesis statements, and conjunctions. Check your local wall for an ad or the Writing center in the Library for more information (date, time, topics) Ongoing. Be involved in human rights. Hope-Cards are currently posted on Amnesty International's bulletin boards across from the H-wing cafeteria, as well as outside B-505. Stop by and sign them. Ongoing. Be a statistic! Sign up for psychology experiments outside of S-319. Promote human understanding. Sometimes they give you money... Ongoing. Lee Bul and Art Of The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution, to Mar 2, Liu Jian talk 6:30 pm Jan 22. $4, students $2, free Wed 5-8 pm. THE POWER PLANT (231 Queen's Quay W.) 416-973-4949. Jan. 29 - Should | drop this course or not? 10am-noon, S302 Jan. 29 Noon-hour Student Recitals, in the Music Room, Hart House. Noon to 3pm. Free. Jan. 29 Canadian Blood Services Blood Donor Clinic in the Meeting Place Jan 29-31 LGBTQ presents MENTAL HEALTH WEEK WORKSHOPS. See ‘Queer Corner’ (the back page of this issue) for details. Free. Jan 30-ongoing. Co-ed Naked Interhouse Volleyball. Well, not really naked. But sign up anyway. Put together a team of 6-10 for $20 at the Athletic center service desk. Games last all semester and are on Thursdays from 4-7. Feb 1 DARKRAVE v.36 Dj's Paladin 5.0, Grimace, Lazarus, Phink and more spin for people wearing black. Big Bop/ Reverb (651 Queen St. W.) Feb 1 BHANGRA NATION World Bhangra and Dhol Cup. Bhangra masters around the world gather to compete for $2000 and the Bhangra World Cup. Teams from UK, Scotland, Canada and the US. La Suhaag Banquets (75 Hedgedale Rd.) for info call 416-737-4371 © Feb 1-9 First Aid and CPR Courses Brought to you by the ABCS. Two different courses. $70 ABCS members. $80 non-members. Contact 99doudad@ utsc.utoronto.ca. Feb 2 Homeland Security - SMERK ;*) & DROSS:TIK RECORDS PRESENT SAN FRANCISCO'S OPTIC (ISOLATE) AND NYC’S RENEGADE VIRUS CREW, FEATURING AMOK, XYLENE, FURY8, NAKEDSLICE, FOODSTAMPZ, METROPHAGE AND NOBODY. CLUB 56 (56 KENSINGTON). $3 19+. Feb. 6 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Feb. 7 United We Shine Talent Competition. Celebrate the accomplishments of Toronto’s African- Canadian youth. Central Commerce Collegiate Institute, 570 Shaw. 7pm. email: yese@lefca.com Feb. 7 Kathryn Rose, video release at Healey’s. $10 at the door. Doors at 9pm. 19+ Feb 8 Black on Black Crime. Inspired by actual events. York University’s Burton Auditorium. 4700 Keele Street. 7PM. Tickets are $15 advance, $20 at door. Feb. 2 - Feb. 8 Peace Week. Campus Chaplain’s Association facilitates... speakers include: Jody Williams, Stephen Lewis, Craig Kielburger, Zanana Akande and Gwynne Dyer. More info (416) 888-8535, gfs.khalsa@utoronto.ca Feb 13 LIFE IN THE SO-CALLED SPACE AGE Grand Opening. DJ Lazarus presents futurepop, ebm, and retro in the main room while Phink spins electro and psy trance in the back. $2.50 domestics all night. Free. ZEN Lounge (526 Queen St. W.) Feb. 13 SCSU Spring Election Nomination Period - Closes TOWN HALL MEETINGS ON ACADEMIC PLANNING The Provost’s Office launched the next academic planning process in mid December by posting “green papers” at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. A “green paper” is issued for a consultative phase that precedes the drafting of a planning or policy document. The ‘green paper” phase of planning aims to elicit campus-wide discussion about priorities for the next academic plan. The green papers have also been published in the January 13" issue of the Bulletin. During January and February, Provost Shirley Neuman will be holding a series of Town Hall meetings to discuss the “green papers”. This is an opportunity for all members of the University community to contribute their ideas and their sense of priorities to the academic planning process. Please encourage your faculty colleagues, and your graduate and undergraduate students to attend one of these meetings and please attend yourself. All members of the University—students, faculty, staff and alumni—are strongly encouraged to participate in one or more of these fora to share their questions, ideas and responses with each other and the Provost. Following this consultation, a draft academic plan for the 2003-2009 period will be drafted. It will be circulated for further discussion before being taken to Governing Council in late spring. hb VO | The calendar for the Town Hall meetings follows: Friday, January 10, 2003 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm Innis College, Town Hall, Room 112 2 Sussex Avenue Thursday, January 16. 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am Bahen Centre Information Technology Auditorium, Room 1160 40 St. George Street Monday, January 27, 2003 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm Trinity College George Ignatieff Theatre 15 Devonshire Place Monday, February 3, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am OISE/UT Auditorium, Room G162 252 Bloor Street West Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Medical Science Building MacLeod Auditorium, Room 2158 1 King’s College Circle Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am St. Michael’s College Alumni Hall, Room 100 121 St. Joseph Street Wednesday, February 5, 2003 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm University of Toronto at Scarborough Humanities Wing, 2" floor, Room 216 1265 Military Trail Monday, January 20, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University College Room 140 15 King’s College Circle Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm Victoria University Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street Friday, January 31, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Earth Sciences Centre, Room 1050 25 Wilcocks Street Friday, February 14, 2003 10:00 am- 11:30°am New College Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016 30 Wilcocks Street Friday, January 24, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University of Toronto at Mississauga Matthews Auditorium Kaneff Centre, Room 137 3359 Mississauga Road North i http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 The Underground The LGBTQ is hosting several events throughout Mental Health Awareness Week: Wed. January 29 LGBT Q/Sexuality concems, as well as that of international students, will be addressed. Treats and info will be handed out to Interested students. Located between the Bookstore and Tim Horlen s from 11-3. LGBT Q/Sexuality Issues: Coping with sexuality-related stress. the gains of being ‘out of the closet’, how to manage an active ae lifestyle. fe an : oREee Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? International Students; How to create support systems, and who to turn to at UTSC. FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT at THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Are you interested in a career that involves: Thurs. January 30 Substance abuse/dependence (alcohol, drugs) will be high- lighted and discussed. Treats and info will be handed out to interested students. Located between the Bookstore and Tim Horton's from 11am to 3pm. Join us for an informative workshop in the Council Chambers, from 12pm to 1pm, which will readdress LGBTQ issues with a more hands-on focus. Food will be provided. Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading Substance abuse/dependence: If drugs and alcoholisinterfer- international public research Universities? ing with your life, we can provide info for and put you in touch with people who can help you help yourself. * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT * COMMUNICATIONS * PHILANTHROPY If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing ETE Japaeyy 3) field filled with exciting opportunities. Sexual harassment, anxieties, and general stress will be the focus of this day. Treats and info will be handed out to interested students. Located between the Bookstore and Tim Horton's from 11am to 3pm. JOIN US FOR an interactive demo of self-defense in the. Meetig (lace es S Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 JOIN US FOR an informative and relaxing stress-relief ses- a ; 4 ‘: sion in the teaching studio of the Athletic Centre, hosted by a Visit : www.alumnit utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, staffed therapist, from 2pm to 3pm (please wear comfortable : ao S Z pup J. Robert S. Prichard Building cote 21 King’s College Cirel ee a 2 hi Sex. harassment, anxieties: Learn how to overcome common iat: a ee Sas $ ee fag ctween 9:00am — 5: anxieties, and where to go for uncommon anxieties, contact or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or info for self-defense classes will be provided. karen.papazian@ utoronto.ca The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. All UTSC students who are studying on campus or working in the GTA are GUARANTEED residence accommodation for the summer. The summer residency period runs from May 11th-August 16th at a cost of $1,505. Applications are available on-line at: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/ summerrates. html or by calling 41 6-287-7365 SUNS VES UPC TA Cit ; . it _ Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, drew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, _ Sarah Barmak, NERA Lo, Aas a Holly : Cousineau oe Email: Web: http: bata scar, utoronto, oo “Alice in Wonderland” reviewed Wednesday, January 22, 2003 | cantents Is our journalism programme all.it could be? Probably not... p.8 Letters p.5.__ Contributora:” 1265 Military Trail, Room $-364 sabe Scarborough, ON | ee 416.287.7055 _M1C 1A4 | : i (in the portable) 416.287. 7054 “ : Treeeuee toronto. ca http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ As’t Production Art Director News Editors On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants James Relunia John Loerchner Gordon Lane James Nugent, ae Hurley, Peter Josselyn, Dan Sharpe David Hale, Herbie Ku oan es a Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Christian Lucier oe Graphics Editor Greg Brown The Underground, U of T Scarborough Pr eg Mario Kangeswaren Susie Lopes Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground’s snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Also in this Issue: Editorial Ip. 4 _ Events Listings p.24 News (or Views) Review- The Recruit p.11 News-In-Brief p.7 Review- Biker Boyz p. 14. Groundworks p.16 | Why | protest p.6 : (A Sci-fi adventure, The Scoop we missed last Life “by David Hale) week p. 9 Food on Campus = FAT p.18 Why | protest p.6 Satanic Verses raises Hell p.19 How to spot a cult p.20 Sports p.23 Arts Columns Weekly Haiku p.21 Lost by an Echo p.10 Len H Satan's Bakesale p.21 Diversions p.22 The | a Editor-In-Chief Chris McKinnon Letters and Opinions Policy “ / U N d e rg ro u N d Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo. At The Underground we love unsolicited material, ERS a especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such ean Writers: Production Manager Greg Brown material be typed or printed and delivered to The The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation, It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). RRS The Underground Editorial Last Saturday morning, the NASA space shuttle Columbia broke up over Texas, en route to its landing in Cape Canaveral, Florida. The news media was quick to produce computer simulations and gather eyewitness testimony and video footage. By afternoon, George W. Bush gave a press conference, where he spoke to the American people and the world about this tragic loss of life. G. W. B. has never made any pretense about his devout religious beliefs and the world has heard much about how he finds great com- fort and solace in his faith. But over and over since 9/11, G. W. B.’s faith has been commonplace in his speeches to the American people. In an age when most politicians and thinkers balk at the use of words like “good” and “evil” when speaking about world politics or foreign affairs, President Bush consistently embraces such simple, idealistic language. And when he speaks, especially about events like the Columbia shuttle tragedy, his faith often seems to take centre stage, even though he is President of the United States, which is a secular country. This might not be a terrible thing, to speak with conviction about one’s faith. | certainly wouldn’t want anyone to feel shame about wearing their faith proudly. But President Bush doesn’t just wear his personal faith boldly and proudly, he also makes it the col- lective faith of the American people when he speaks with the implicit assumption that all Americans are Christians. It’s there when he asks us to keep the 7 crew members of the shuttle Columbia in our prayers and asks that God continue to bless America. It’s there when he fails to acknowledge that two out of the seven crew members were not Christians. This tone also seems to be present in the way that he speaks of the Muslim community in America as though they are other than American. But then again, maybe it’s just me. It's Christ Awareness Week at UTSC, and I’m feeling really uncomfortable. | usually like to think that my atheism doesn’t colour my judgment, or the way that | interact with others. Then | am suddenly faced with an aggressive pamphleteer in the Meeting Place, or Herbie Kuhn preaching the Good News, and | am decidedly ill at ease. So my skepticism colours my thoughts and words, as much as anyone's beliefs do. But UTSC is a secular institution. We also tend to be culturally pluralist, and culture and religion so often go hand in hand. As a result, we have compromises, ranging from a Multi-Faith Prayer Space on campus, or supporting a range of clubs that are founded on religious grounds through incidental fees in our tuition. We usually seem to find a good balance and that balance is about the respect for the personal and the private. The negotiation of public space is another beast entirely. I'm uncomfortable with any sort of aggressive or overt religious recruiting in public places, whether it’s a crazy street preacher out- side the Eaton Centre, foisting propagandist literature into my hands, or Herbie Kuhn on the stage in the Meeting Place telling folks how Jesus can save your soul (and implicitly, that you’re damned other- wise.) I’m not sure | want to say that such things shouldn't be allowed to happen, but | do have to wonder what the agenda is, especially when there is a man with a microphone preaching easy answers and salvation in the Meeting Place. If the idea was to raise awareness about Christianity (which | would say is a mite silly in North America, where Christianity is by far the dominant belief system) then it surely made me aware, though not in any positive or constructive sense. If the idea was to dispel common misunderstandings about Christianity, then I’m not sure a man who quips tidy little nuggets like “I’m not trying to beat you over the head with the Bible. I’m trying to tell you the truth to set you free,” is really your best bet. Truth is a slippery thing, and it means different things depending on who you speak to. “The Bible as Truth” argument has a nice ring to it, but only if you’re already a believer. Otherwise it’s just a book. The Truth might set you free, | suppose, if you could ever be really sure that you'd found it. Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief WE LOVE LOVE (and so do you, admit it!) We're currently accepting Valentine's Day greetings/personals! Tell that hottie you've been checking her/him out with the safe anonymity of newsprint! Example - YOU: Eating roti in the H-Wing Cafe in that sexy way you eat your roti. ME: Eyeing you from behind my copy of 100 Days of Solitude and beating off. Meet me in the S-Wing stairwell on Friday! Send your message via the technopoly of the Web to: underground love@ace-of-base.com Sachin says, This year, say it with haiku! About the Cover The Underground's News Editor cringes in shame as he discovers that The Independent Weekly beat us to the punch with coverage of the SAC debacle. See Page 9. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ igtinytibee hauarmabeli ath / “{oders ee ee ee soa a Wednesday, February 5,.2003 Exams are good for weeding out arasites like you! Re: “Exams: what are they good for?” by Marjan Tehrani, Vol. 22, Iss. 17) Dear Marjan, What the fuck do you want, the world on a silver platter? Undergraduate students don’t get to choose the way they're evaluated. What colour is the sky in that self-absorbed world of yours? “A shitty carpenter always blames his/her tools.” You weren't prepared for university, so it’s your old high- school’s fault? Wasting time in class “chilling”, or playing with “cell phones”, and other such juvenile crap. Who's fault was that? Are your high-school teachers supposed to take you by the hand, and give you all the answers? Or are you suppose to be smart enough to find the answers for yourself, to be ready for university? If you’re bitching about exams, I’m guessing that you suck at exams. Therefore you aren't smart enough to find the answers for yourself. So, you want a 4.0 GPA, but you can’t do it through the cur- rent system. So change the system. Wait a minute. You're an undergrad. You can’t change the system! The inmates don’t run the prison. WELCOME TO REALITY!!! If you really want to change the system, just go get your Ph D, and UTSC “might” let you have a say. Since you suck at exams, that isn’t happening any time soon. (Do you really want to change the system for the betterment of education, or just to suit your greedy, self-serving wants?) There is a reason for exams; the same reason why half the people failed first year Physics and Chemistry; it proves who can handle university, and who can’t. Who earned the privilege to be here, and who is a waste of OSAP. You said yourself “the real world” has “consequences for fucking up.” You fucked up on your exams, who’s fault is it? Your old high-school’s? Your old teachers? Your TA’s? The system's? The Exam’s? NO!!! YOURS!!! “A shitty carpenter always blames his/her tools.” Admit it Marjan, you fucked up on your exams and you're blaming everyone and his brother-in-law, except yourself. Get your head out of your ass! The world doesn't revolve around you! (Thank fucking God for that!) GROW UP!!! This school already has enough self-absorbed, infantile, spoiled, lazy, dog- fuckers, who want their education spoon-fed to them. Wait a minute. Exams usually weed those parasites out. Have fun in Academic Probation, Marjan! William CHOW Class of 2006 Physical Sciences, Chemistry. mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters The Underground & em —————— http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 5 The Underground News January 18th, US Absurdity, and Why | Protest On Saturday January 18", over twenty UTSC students went to a mas- sive Anti-war/Peace protest in downtown Toronto. These students, including myself, joined a national, and global, movement that is refusing to accept the US government's drive towards war. The protest was a Success, as are most pro- gressive protests, for it achieved three important results: 1) It raised our soci- ety’s awareness as to some of the issues surrounding the threatening US-led war. This was evident not only by the fact that the Star and Globe, two relatively status- quo, mainstream media papers, quoted many voices that were yet-unheard or given their rightful coverage. But also, the many people who watched or joined into the rally, or later discussed politi- cal issues with demonstrators, learned a great deal about why we object to the current US position. 2) It gave the people of our country an opportunity to voice their concerns and demands which our “democratic” system obviously fails to adequately incorporate; thus in turn, it called for a strengthening or revamping of our democratic system. (We need only to look at the flack that Liberal MP Carolyn Parish has received by her party and the media for even suggesting that Canada only go to war with UN (i.e. the Security Council's) approval). 3) Finally, it was an empowering experience personally for those who attended: it allowed us to show solidarity with others from Toronto to Washington to Tokyo who have com- mitted to making a more peaceful and just world; and it helped us to better cope and put into perspective our marginaliza- tion from the political decisions of “our” government. To say that protests “don’t do any- thing” (or “don’t work”) is not only false, but is also to give up on a higher form of democracy. First of all, as outlined above, protests always have important effects in raising awareness, providing an avenue for dissent when democ- racy fails (and consequently they also reflect this failure), and are a means of empowerment. And | believe that gov- ernment policy is influenced greatly by demonstrations, sometimes directly and other times indirectly. Even when a pro- James Nugent test doesn’t change or induce a certain government policy directly, protesting still sets the limits of political options and dis- course, and indicates the resistance and sentiments against such government policies. In this way then, the fact that there is a protest on a particular issue does put pressure onto the government because to a large degree the govern- ment gauges how far it can implement certain policies based on the resistance shown to those policies in the form of demonstrations. This is how anti-war protests during the 1970s brought an end to the Vietnam war, and this is why MPs in Tony Blair's own party have been pressuring Blair to change-if not at least soften-his position (over 400 000 people in Britain protested against Blair's adher- ence to US war-doctrine). But a true democracy shouldn't require that hun- dreds of thousands of people take to the street before something gets done. In a healthy democracy, people should be part of the decision making process right from the beginning so that they need not turn to the streets to demand a say in the decisions that affect their own lives. Many people don’t see the value in protesting, and this is a serious problem. | think that those who can’t see the point in protesting are perhaps too comfortable in their current socio-economic position: it is easy to say that “protesting is point- less” when you have a place to sleep, a supper to eat, and know that you are not going to be one of the millions of inno- cent victims of a “US War on Terror” or other imperialistic absurdities. It is easy to stay at home and scoff at demonstra- tors when you have been given an illu- sion of happiness and comfort by the Status Quo. | don’t think that voting once every four years (on issues chosen largely by spin-doctors and status-quo interests) is democracy. Why can’t we make democ- racy work the way we want it? Why do we feel so disenfranchised from our own political system? Why are only a few people deciding whether we should go to war? How come | don’t feel like | am fully informed on the issues surrounding such a war, and why, despite this, is our gov- ernment moving towards war?? Before our country goes around the world supporting bombing campaigns (e.g. Afghanistan) and free trade agreements (e.g. FTAA) in the name of democracy, | think it is crucial that we first answer these types of questions and create a democracy in which every person in Canada is actively and equally involved. Of course, | think there are other important reasons for opposing the war besides demonstrating against the way in which our government is undemo- cratically supporting the US drive to war (although this is reason enough to protest). | also think that the US (and the countries following the US lead) cannot justify attacking Iraq. The US has not proven or even remotely demonstrated that Iraq poises any kind of military threat to the US. Weapons of mass destruction have not been found by UN inspectors, let alone any type of mechanism or intent of deto- nating them. And besides, many coun- tries have weapons of mass destruc- tion-with the US themselves having the most. Despite linking the “threat of Iraq” in every possible way to the “threat of terrorism” as a pretext to justifying the attack on Iraq, the US has not been able to find a link between the September 11 terrorist attack and the Iraqi government. If anything, | wonder if attacking Iraq will only help foster the conditions and senti- ments necessary for terrorists to carry out ploys against the US, thus increasing the danger of terrorist attacks in the future. In fact, the US government and much of mainstream media, have muddled any reasoned discussion over the issues sur- rounding Iraq, sanctions, the justification (or lack thereof) for war, and problematic US foreign policy, through the vague and distorting notion of a “War on Terrorism.” Anyone who does not prescribe and accept the edict of the “War of Terrorism” is silenced and even criminalized. If any- thing, the “War on Terrorism” has been a “War Against Democracy and Humanity”: it has lead to racist border policies, new terrorism laws that undermine civil lib- erties, and fostered a more racist and ignorant social environment, and now threatens to slaughter and displace per- haps millions of innocent Iraqis. We no longer see the horror of war. If a war such a good idea, how come we don't hear of the casualties unless they are one of the few Canadian or American soldiers who die? Is an Iraqi life inher- ently less valuable than a Canadian life? If we are so justified in bombing another country, why don’t we see footage of those who are grotesquely being killed? Instead, our media shows the smart bomb going down the chimney hitting its target “cleanly”. We remove ourselves from the casualties and horror of war by bombing cities. from thousands of meters above the ground in fighter jets. And most recently, we even send in pilot-less drone planes to carry out the destruction while we direct it via remote-control from the comfort of headquarters. This is not to begin to talk about how our culture glo- rifies, heorizes and thus promotes war. So if the US cannot justify going to war in the name of combating “ter- rorism” or to uphold democratic ideals (which they are undermining in the pro- cess) or to rid the world of weapons of mass destruction or to remove a leader which they helped put into power, then why are they going to war? Oil? Global hegemony? $400billion annual defence budget? Elections? Personal family revenge of Bush? Imperialistic drives? Or a genuine sense of fear and moral (and dangerously reductionist) crusade against “Evil”? Whatever the answer is, | think that answering these type of ques- tions is where the level of debate should be. But unfortunately, it seems like reasoned debate and discussion over such notions have been the first victim of the “War on Terrorism’, having been muddled and constrained by hysteria, hate propaganda and disinformation (or “selective information’) campaigns. And with our government eroding our sover- eignty by jumping onto the war band- wagon and accepting US directorate on a host of other issues (economic poli- cies, immigration and refuge laws, even energy regulation!), | think it is a critical time for every Canadian to examine what it is we are supporting by supporting this US-led war and other US policies? i 6 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘News Bodies and Business. Tuesday, January 28", the Meeting Place was packed with info booths telling you what you were doing wrong. You even got sold to Nestle, who were giving out samples of their fantabulous Instant Breakfast chalk drink. The highlight of the day was, of course, girls in spandex jumping up and down performing their Tai-Bo workout to pop house, scaring the bejeezus out of the unsuspecting passers-by. And you think The Underground is misogynist. Blood-types and Blazing (tongue-heat) The Wellness Fair was promoting health and though the booths were making typical propagandist pitches against things like drinking (apparently only 8% of uni- versity students ever miss class due to drinking; | think they are lying), smoking (come test how hard you can blow carbon monoxide into a, um, thing, and come back in 4 weeks to pee in a cup for us!), and unprotected sex (meh), there were also more positive booths such as the !’m-Going-to-Tell-You-What-You-Are-Going-to-Be- When-You-Grow-Up-Based-on-Your-Blood-Type-Booth (results won't be verified until the first time you give blood...). While this career-by-blood-type business may seem a bit superstitious, in the next stall the Toronto School of Traditional Chinese Medicine was testing the interested parties’ “heat” by examining the color of the tips of their tongues. Apparently a redder-than-average tongue tip is the visible manifestation of anxiety, anger, and stress. Even more astonishing than the idea that someone would believe such witch-doctor mumbo- jumbo is the fact that it seems to be fairly accurate. The school's President, Mary Wu, then offerred to stick tiny needles into the angry inquisitors - an attempt to remove the excess “heat” and calm the energy via acupuncture. Acupuncture is recognized by the World Health Organization as a legitimate practice, and the verdict from the guinea pigs was that it was “weird, but amazingly it worked.” If uncultured readers are curious: antlers that one would find in a traditional Chinese herb shop are to increase “heat” and energy. Battles (with depression) and (drugs are) Bad. Other attractions at the Wellness Fair included a booth for the Mobile Crisis Program, which is a free mental health service for anyone needing emotional or mental assistance (call 416.289.2434 if you ever need), and the Substance Abuse Program for African Canadian and Caribbean Youth (SAPACCY), a program designed to address racism and culturally specific problems asso- ciated with substance abuse within this minority, though their drug-info pamphlets were oddly no different than any other drug-info pamphlet. Crack is Crack. Wednesday, February 5, 2003 The News In Brief... Bibles and Booze. UTSC was host to acclaimed author Lisa Moore on Friday, January 31. To protect us all from the embar- rassment of poor attendance, the reading was held in room H-402-max capacity forty people. The reading was held during a lecture with a class size of about thirty; an additional seven or so interested guests who were not part of the class attended - this includes the school’s professional photographer. Moore read from “Grace”; one of a collection of short stories from her book Open, which was short-listed for the 2002 Giller Prize. Moore said that she was very interested in the issue of vulnerability, and “Grace” is certainly an example of this. A husband and wife - Philip and Eleanor - attend a friend’s wedding. Philip has decided, for he and his wife, that they were to have an “open marriage” and he brings his latest girlfriend along with him to the wedding. The story unfolds as Eleanor gets “very, very drunk,” and attempts to deal with her love for Philip, and her feelings towards the permitted infidelity. And, as any true literary critic would say, the story is about the juxtaposition of self-identity and the individualistic fear of failure in the social interaction of souls, with fidelity and drunkenness obviously being an allusion to the Bible. The ontologi- cal shock that arises from such programs of instinct like toasters and bobby pins necessitates violence, even though it perhaps would be more sustainable to pass on violent actions to be done by other responsible par- tiers. Moore described her drive to get the story finished - it took seven years - as her desire to get to the point where Eleanor’s friend tells Eleanor “the truth about love.” Moore said that she tries to capture in her writing the way people think when they aren’t aware they are thinking, and she certainly seems to do this when “the truth about love” comes out. Interestingly, Moore studied painting, and this seems to have had a profound effect on her writing. Anyone interested in the visual arts-and certainly people who think in pictures-would undoubtedly enjoy the style of her writing. However, those not so visually inclined might be prone to getting lost in Moore’s attempt to capture the thought process; her writing is laden with metaphorical images, but not so much abstract stream- of-consciousness thought. Bok Choy and Bamboo February 1 marked the first day of the year of the Goat. The Chinese New Year celebration began with the new moon, following its lunar cycle, and lasts fifteen days, ending February 15 with the Lantern Festival and the coming of the full moon. On Thursday, January 30, the meeting place was set up with tables promoting the awareness and celebration of the New Year. Traditional foods were served and tra- ditional games, such as Mahjong, were demonstrated. Gordon Lane and (sometimes, but mostly not) Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com | heart Jesus, Mr. Kuhn, | really do. | like to walk around while I’m preaching. “The Voice of the Raptors” Herbie Kuhn gave an awe inspiring account of what it means to be a Born- Again Christian this past Monday, February 3°. While there was a handful of dedicated listeners, there were also a far number of passers-by attempting to quell their laughter, and sometimes fear, over the Toronto Raptors’ announcer’s thirty minute sermon-on-the-stage. Kuhn began by describing his pleasure in being able to serve as the Raptors’ announcer, but said that pleasure was easily topped by the privilege to serve God through Jesus Christ. He recounted his years of alcohol and drug abuse, his sleeping around with as many women as possible, his non-stop partying, his search for happiness in material possessions, and other immediate-gratifications. But there was something missing. Fame and fortune came his way, via his job as the announcer. People were recognizing him in the grocery sore, and asking for his autograph. Beautiful women came to him in droves, and he found himself one to hold onto, keeping his sex life regular. He had money to go even deeper into the partying. But he was still empty inside. Kuhn had attended church his whole life, but it wasn't until he happened to attend a service at the Grant African Methodist Episcopal Church that he found the path of truth. Here he was greeted warmly, - and enjoyed the bobbing and weaving of the chorus, as well as the encouragement he got to bob, weave, and clap along. He realized what was missing from his old church: He wasn’t encouraged to be joyful about a close rela- tionship with God’s only son, Jesus Christ. “Possibly the most important thing you'll ever hear in your life is this: God is nuts about you. God is crazy about you. He loves you so much that he sent his only son to die on the cross so you don't have to.” “!’m not trying to beat you over the head with the bible. I’m trying to tell you the truth to set you free.” He’s not making any of this up. The Bible tells all of us this. You need only to look into your heart, and make the leap of faith. The Underground gets scooped UTSC students who really care about news will be sorely disappointed in the current News Editors at The Underground. |In last Thursday’s issue of The Independent Weekly, front page coverage was given to an issue very dear to UTSC students. The article has been re-printed in its entirety elsewhere in this week's issue of The Underground. We would like to apolo- gise profusely for missing this. The News Editors are, indeed, deaf, dumb and blind. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground News. Joint-Programme in Journalism is no match © for Ryerson Meghan Hurley Underground Staff You might say that the field of journal- ism is one of the most competitive and rewarding professions. As a journalist you are an investigator, and you must pursue stories with great energy and accuracy. Emphasis must be placed on mechanical, factual and contextual cor- rectness in order to deliver a memorable story. News coverage must be pursued in a timely fashion, and you must develop strategies to respond accordingly when ethical issues arise. As journalism is a very competitive professional field, a rigorous post-secondary program is necessary to develop the mind needed for journalism today. Many Canadian Universities offer practical, broad-based programs that allow the students to develop professional abilities necessary to be successful in the field. Universities like Carleton and Ryerson offer programs that prepare you for the challenges that await you as a reporter, editor or broad- caster. The University of Toronto has recently introduced a journalism program at Scarborough Campus. Many students are beginning to question the credibility of this new program. Will it be as com- petitive as the already established jour- nalism programs? Ryerson and Carleton have offered very competitive journalism programs for years. Now the University of Toronto is attempting to develop a School of Journalism just as qualified as exist- ing programs. Unfortunately, U of T is unable to develop a program that will be any match for Ryerson. As a stu- dent at Ryerson University, you would begin to take university level courses in newspaper, magazine and broadcasting journalism in your first year. Instead of beginning innovative journalism train- ing in your first year, at U of T you must complete two years in a subject area of interest. These two years can be spent studying subjects such as English or Political Science, before beginning the journalism courses. Ryerson students clearly have an advantage because they are able to study journalism much more intensely. As a result they will have more experience because they will be exposed to all fields of journalism in the first year. After students at U of T have com- pleted their two- year English or Political Science foundation, they will commence their journalism education at Centennial College. The journalism courses taken in collaboration with a two- year university background are college courses, taught by college instructors. Despite this, U of T students will be required to pay univer- sity tuition for college courses. As the journalism courses are at a college level, they will be no match for the intensity and sophistication of Ryerson’s university level program. In addition to U of T students being at a disadvantage because the journal- ism courses are taught at Centennial College, students will not even graduate with an honors degree in Journalism. Instead of graduating with a Bachelor of Journalism, which is what you would finish with if you attended Ryerson or Carleton, you would graduate with a Bachelor of Arts. When applying for employment after graduation, you cannot include in your resume that you completed a university degree in journal- ism. The only experience of journalism you can include on your resume is that you have a college diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. Academic advisors and admissions personnel suggest that the benefit of completing the four-year Bachelor of Arts in collaboration with Centennial College is that you will graduate with a degree from an esteemed university. University of Toronto is a reputable university, but Centennial College is no competition for Ryerson. When the name Ryerson University is mentioned, the first program people think of is their very competitive Bachelor of Journalism program. The Chair of the Ryerson’s School of Journalism, Vince Carlin, has never encountered applicants from Centennial College while working on the Candian Broadcasting Corporation hiring committees. Students who take the U of T Journalism Program will have a severe disadvantage when applying for posi- tions in all areas of journalism. John Doyle Nex+ Summer, live a lite, learna lot. Visit Dal’s web site now to learn about hundreds of as early as February 24th. None of these Globe and Mail columnists graduated from Centennial... : Margaret Wente - & ters Marcus Gee You can register: wwwdedal.ca DALHOUSIE DALHC http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ TNEDII NS). OGIO Det WWW Ossi News Scarborough sacks SAC? Campus to hold plebiscite on gaining independence Peter Josselyn, The Independent Weekly (originally published on January 31, 2003 in The Independent Weekly, Issue #20) Scarborough students have had enough with SAC, according to the Scarborough Campus Students Union. The student organization voted January 23 to hold a plebiscite asking students whether they want SAC to represent them. The campus will go to the polls March 5 and 6 to decide on the question: “Is the SCSU the official voice of Scarborough campus students?” SCSU_ President Dan Badurka supports the move toward autonomy, saying that Scarborough students are underrepresented, unappreciated and underfunded. SAC has also set up a Scarborough Task Force that will look at the outcome of the plebiscite and other issues about student autonomy. The task force will be co-chaired by University Affairs Commissioner and Erindale student Mohammed Hashim and Scarborough SAC representative Dylan Rae. Both co-chairs want to see changes in the way that satellite campuses are treated by SAC. “For the longest time east and west campus students have been exploited by the downtown campus,” said Hashim. “They put in far too much money for services that are provided. downtown and get very minimal returns. SCSU is looking to find a far more representative structures.” “It's about time that suburban stu- dents get what they pay for,” he said. SAC Vice-President (operations) John Lea called the plebiscite “an opin- ion poll.” “It’s useful but it’s not binding,” he said. “ | hope it gives us ideas and results about how to better represent Scarborough students.” While Hashim seems to support the plebiscite, Rae has taken a more reserved stance. “| can't even tell you which way ’ll vote and I’m a SAC Director. How can you tell people to support SAC when Rocco spent $22,000 on a party [see “SAC calls for President to resign,” this page] and he knew that there were no posters at Scarborough?” Rae asked. These complaints are part of a long list cited by supporters of more auton- omy for the satellite campuses. Satellite campus students seldom make use of the fees they pay to Hart House, the Athletics Centre, and other St. George- based facilities, Hashim said. Badurka is worried about how SAC will change with the growing campuses, which are predicted to expand, espe- cially with the SuperBuild money the university is hoping to get. “There were 86% more applications to Scarborough [this year] than last year, and last year there were 25% more than the previous year,” he said. If the plebiscite passes and Rae expects it to “win and win big,” the task force will reevaluate the arrangement between the campuses. In the end Hashim is looking for more equality. “Each campus pays $120,000 but only gets about $25,000 back in funding. We need to fix that,” he said. Wednesday, February 5, 2003 ONE OF THEM Is LYING. _ $oIs THE OTHER. {Mal ites Ee ee ee aes ee Si 2 eee “es ee eee aR eke GE ™ ee eee “ee HE VORRTA RLS ITUE p Hew TolLaseiGoplioviacom, STARTS IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE FEBRUARY 7 Just make sure tf 4 (~@ # inflammatory topic here>. — call us at 416-287-7054 — email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca — or leave us an angry post-it note on our office door at S364 (that’s right, it’s a portable...) http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground Arts Being Lost in Scarborough Lost by an Echo do some venting Keith Friedlander Arts Editor tee “Scarborougnals NCtsasrOeGKtown: | know that’s an over statement but generally... it doesn’t seem fo be a town that's open to teenage indy pop”. FREE PUBLICITY! We like to support the local indie scene, especially since if we were friends with Ajax residents Sum 41, we'd be riding in limo's and mackin’ ho's right now. So if you're in an independent band or musical act from UTSC, please contact us at undergnd @utsc.utoronto.ca. Who knows, maybe you'll be thanking us at, | don’t know, the Junos or something. 10 ‘rT In all honesty, | was quite disconcerted by the pros- pect of interviewing Lou Tentsos and Mike Wilkomirsky, two students here at UTSC. Both are members of a band called Lost by an Echo. The first time | met them was at a show they did at The 360 back in early December, and my memories of their performance remained clouded by alcohol and the holidays. On top of that, I’ve never felt wholly confident speaking with musicians about their craft, being quite naive of the subject. | was relieved to discover that Lou and Mike are pretty approachable guys and very enthusiastic about discussing the local music scene and the industry in general. The guys have an eclectic background of influ- ences which the different members bring from different aspects of the rock genre. While Lou prefers Weezer and Sparta, Mike is more into indie rock and bands like Sonic Youth and Pavement. They describe their bassist Zane as “a smart skater” (Sum 41 and Good Charlotte), while their drummer Gordon is influenced by the grunge phenomenon, particularly bands like Pearl! Jam and Nirvana. When asked how the different aspects figured into the creative process, they told me it was mostly an adaptive process. “There are some tunes that are completely written by me and some where he'll write the guitar parts and I'll write the lyrics,” Lou told me. “Lou mainly writes all the songs and all the mem- bers tweak it about,” Mike added. “We are definitely a melodic band, but for some of our songs | have certain terms... We're pretty much like indie rock but with influ- ences coming in and out of that. At The Drive In meets Weezer meets Sonic Youth”. It doesn’t seem like much of a surprise that anyone who wants to get along in the Toronto music scene will have to go down- town to do it. But the real challenge faced by the band is generating regular interest to the point where the fan base extends beyond the personal acquain- tance. Which can be especially hard when the distance to your shows is an issue for the band and their fans. “I’m bitter about the music industry because I’ve been doing it for seven years and |’m still where I’m at now where we don’t have fans, just friends who come and see us,” confessed Lou. “So | would like to work to that point where we do have fans, where people come to our shows and | have no idea who they are”. Mike agreed. “Honestly, it sounds simple, but that really would be nice. Most other bands totally under appreciate that pinnacle achievement. Where people are coming to see your music under their own volition, without some friend”. Lou tells me he’s been playing in various bands off and on for seven years now. Still, this is his first band to play the 19-plus crowds. “The all-ages circuit was really bad and we never got anywhere,” he explains. “We released a few CDs and demos with the old bands, but like | said, it never really took off. This is the first band where | really want it to take off’. They admit that they've been going through some growing pains. Difficulties getting their younger fan base to come see them at bars have been a disruption, but overall, they seem happy to be playing new places. “We basically played all ages teen rock staples like The Kathedral and The Reverb. They're not necessarily bad venues but it seems that when your in a band, if you play a bad show at a venue you get a bad taste in your mouth for that venue,” says Mike. “Horseshoe and Rivoli are really good Toronto venues that are 19- plus that we'd like to play”. We spent some time glossing over the general matters of importance to any student, musician or not. Lou claims to have won his girlfriend over by naming a song after her, which is a prospect that | find completely baffling ( | didn’t think shit like that worked in real life). It was also agreed that amounts of Grand Theft Auto could be inversely corresponding to trends in one’s Grade Point Average, that George W. Bush was a gen- erally disagreeable man, and that Scarborough really isn’t a very supportive town for the indie scene. As Mike says it, “Scarborough is not a rock town. | know that’s an over statement but generally... it doesn't seem to be a town that's open to teenage indy pop’. “Which is funny because I’ve met a lot of great bands that come out of Scarborough, like Alarum and ZeroScape and Fagade,” Lou notes. The guys also talked about their feelings about the music industry overall. It’s always refreshing to hear people being honest about their contradictory morals. “Honestly, the entire music industry divides into two cultures,” said Mike. “One, bands that have some mar- ketable angle, and bands that are good and original and get critical acclaim and fan acclaim. Bands that don't become Metallicas but still have enough respect from their fan base that they could quite comfortably. Out of the popular musical industry market, about 5% are actually good. |’d rather just have a cult following with a lot of respect, than just a temped kind of flavour of the week mainstream band that will have an audience that will lose interest two seconds later.” However Lou felt it necessary to add, “We say we wouldn't but when it comes down to it, we would ride a one hit wonder. We're sell outs. Well, we haven't sold out, but given the opportunity, we will.” Their views on internet piracy had a similar ring to it. Again, Mike did most of the elaboration. “Honestly, I’m anti-internet piracy. This is a new copy of the new Massive Attack album. This album’s coming out February 11. Am | going to buy it? I'd like to think so, | really would. But when it comes time to go to HMV and spend twenty dollars on a release | just bought, it’s not going to happen. | like the proliferation, but | agree that it’s a battle the music industry should be fighting. Because people are blatantly ripping off bands on a mass scale. And as one of these consumers, | love it, its like a kid in a candy store. But! totally support bands who aren't”. “Yeah, we're against it, but we still take part in it. It’s a necessary evil,” Lou summarized. You can check out Lost by an Echo at their website: http://lostbyanecho.cjb.net. They have two upcoming shows at Seneca College’s Newham Campus, the first of which is February 6. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ C™ ht . : F 4 P io yt Weer eD EA VSS OF OIG ORT aN aot. ye i nas Se F< Arts | Reviews Roman Numerals In Your Name Make You A King Through The Eyes gives us a glimpse of life in the court of Louis XIV Sarah Barmak Underground Staff Through the Eyes was originally written ten years ago in Tokyo by Montreal playwright Don Druick. It was the offshoot of his research into Italian Baroque artist Gianlorenzo Bernini for another work, and it quickly became its own play with its own unique voice. It narrates the visit of Bernini to Paris, to the court of Louis the Fourteenth, on commission to carve a bust of the king. Bernini was the most celebrated artist of the age, respected and admired by the pope. When he gets to Versailles, however, he finds out that the absur- dities and pomp of the Sun King and his court outdo the rest of Europe. The ego of the artist is at odds with the arrogance of Louis, who believes himself to be the most important man in the world - which wasn’t all that far from the truth. We watch all this through the eyes of a simple court- ier, who is given the task of attending Bernini throughout his stay, acting as his translator and all-purpose naviga- tor on the ways and customs of the court. He is also the ear to the temperamental artist’s grievances, and wit- ness to the impossible result - a masterpiece of sculp- ture. The bust comes to reflect the courtier, who turns out to be anything but simple, as he reveals his difficult affair with a higher-stationed lady-in-waiting. And all of it is seen through the eyes, voice, and ges- tures of Richard MacMillan, the one actor who makes it all happen. He is a seasoned veteran of both the small stage and Stratford. Through him roughly fifteen char- acters are portrayed, usually in animated conversations with one another. The characters are distinguished by voices, gait, accents, and temperament, forming a virtual essay on outward style and personality being the essence of a man’s soul. The transitions between characters are easy, seamless, as well as the intermit- tent switches from English into French and Italian. The language changes aren't that frequent, but when they happen they aren’t confusing. They just form another, musical layer in a multifaceted work that seems nearly obsessed with the beauty and awe of its own subject matter. MacMillan populates the small stage, around which we sit on all sides, with a world of objects: walking sticks, guns, swords, clothing, horses, birds, a grand staircase, and of course, the bust, without a single prop. It seems that people were constantly filling it, each in a different Attitude, even as the fact that he was alone Wednesday, February 5, 2003 gave the space a special intensity. His costuming is simple, although a bit silly, with frilled pantaloons and a billowy shirt with no jacket. But that doesn’t get in the way of the performance. The director, Brian Quirt, should be given credit - especially for the “bigger’ scenes. The opening scene, for example, is a hunting expedition in which Louis takes part, ending with horses and hunters storming through the palace itself in a dazzling display of arbitrary cruelty and madness. (Ghetto gangsters and mob bosses have nothing on absolute monarchs.) The effect is cinematic, quite an achievement considering there’s only one guy on stage. The stage direction is good, especially the use of single-source lighting, but the addition of a smoke machine is probably unnecessary. These things are secondary, though, to the overall impression the play made. If | had a bigshit column and could rate plays, |’d give this one a four out of five. Through the Eyes continues at Factory Theatre, located at Adelaide and Bathurst, until February 9. Visit www.factorytheatre.ca. The Recruit: | almost cared Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Movie’s strengths wasted on mediocre plot Film: The Recruit Genre: Not so thrilling thriller Starring: Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynahan Director: Roger Donaldson Rating: KKK HK (Hey Sarah - We edited your piece... Good stuff. Keep it up. Chris & Sachin.) When | told my friend | was going to see a preview of The Recruit she commented that it was “one more nail in the coffin that is Al Pacino’s career’. Being a moder- ate fan of Pacino's work | attempted to stick up for him. “Uh... Heat was pretty good,” | rebutted, “and Scent of a Woman’. She was neither convinced nor impressed by my argument. Now that | realize those movies are about a decade old, neither am I. | guess | approached the screening of The Recruit with a somewhat soured outlook, so perhaps my dis- pleasure with it is the result of these thoughts. But | digress when | should be reviewing. The Recruit is the story of James Clayton (Colin Farrell, Tigerland, Minority Report), a young, brilliant, athletic, handsome, available, dark and brooding MIT graduate who is approached by the aloof Walter Burke (Pacino), a CIA recruiter. Burke convinces James to apply for training with promises of revealing the mysterious disappear- ance of his father. While undergoing various espionage training regi- ments at the CIA’s secret ranch, James meets a young, brilliant, athletic beautiful, available, dark and brooding trainee named Layla (Bridget Moynahan, Serendipity, Coyote Ugly). The two struggle with their mutual chemistry while being pitted against each other by their instructors, whose misleading and manipulative exer- cises attempt to wear away at their mental fortitude. Eventually James is drummed out as a result of his growing attachment to Layla. However when Burke approaches him and tells him he has been selected to be the new unofficial agent, he is launched into an actual covert mission that will require him to seduce Layla to uncover whether or not she is really an enemy spy. At this point the story turns into a docile game of cat-and-mouse, as we see James getting to play spy whilst getting his rocks off. The phys- ical tension between the two moody agents proves the most interesting point of the story and the dysfunctional relationship (based on a solid foundation of sex and hidden bugs) has that kind of car-crash appeal you just can't look away from. You may think “we need to talk” is a bad sign, but when your significant other sideswipes you Off the road and shoves a gun in your face demand- ing the microfilm, then you really have issues. Unfortunately, as the story goes on the amount of attention paid to the interaction between James and Layla takes a backseat to the main plot, which by this time is a somewhat threatening game of cat-and- mouse-and-dog, fueled by a pretty unimaginative red herring. Overall the characters are the most interesting thing so far, but they are left too flat and undeveloped for anyone to care too much about them. While the story is well put together and is intriguing enough to keep one curious, it just isn’t that interesting. By the time Pacino works his way back into the movie the story has again mutated into a fairly danger- ous game of cat-and-mouse-and-dog and... whatever animal might eat a dog. A crocodile perhaps. | don’t know, | kind of stopped paying attention. Naturally this all ends with James not knowing who he can trust and having to figure it all out on his own. The acting in The Recruit is actually its greatest strength and all three of the main characters are por- trayed very effectively. | just wish the writing had been strong enough to support it. The climax of the movie is a good example of this fallacy. A well thought out and memorable scene in which Pacino and Farrell give strong performances just doesn’t go anywhere new or interesting. In the end you walk away asking, why didn’t | like that movie? Which brings me back to the whole point about Pacino's career. After watching Godfather Part II last night and seeing the raw emotion drawn up by Pacino, | realized what a good actor he used to be. The look in his eyes when he was full of rage at his wife was a moment to remember. Something makes me think that if people would stop writing roles for him where he is his classic, bland, cool, bad ass self and actually thought of a challenge for him, maybe we would see Pacino live up to his name again. But in the case of The Recruit, the only thing you see in Pacino's eyes (and in Farrell's and Moynahan’s) is a confused stare. It doesn't just reflect their characters’ confusion as to their situation, but of the actors’ confusion as to why anyone should care. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 11 The Underground Reviews pe VIC K Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief Title: Alice in Wonderland Director: Keith Fernandes Music: Alexander Rapoport lf you went into the Leigha Leah Browne Theatre expecting a true-to-the-text stage perfor- mance of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland,” you might not have been disappointed, but you surely would have been surprised. In the weeks leading up to UTSC’s most recent dramatic enter- prise, rumours abounded that the play would be a “dark reinterpretation” of Carroll’s works, and it most certainly was. In intial scene of the play, there was a distinct break from Carroll's story: Alice dies. Or rather she is murdered by a bitter White Rabbit and her henchmen. Yes, that’s right: Her. None of Carroll's characters’ genders or demeanours are sacred here, and its just as well. The genre of “fairy- tales gone bad” has produced different takes on any number of classic children’s fables, and they nearly always rely on “perversions” of the original story. This time is no different. Poking fun at the stories we loved as children is always fun, and playing around with “what might have happened if...” scenarios is always interesting, especially with a mix of characters as wild as Wonerland’s. What we are immediately confronted with is the idea that “Wonderland” is just a story, and that maybe the story wasn't so true to begin with. “That bitch, Alice...” laments the White Rabbit. That bitch got it all wrong. And so the play begins with an eye at correcting the inaccuracies of Carroll’s original text, and having some sado-masochistic fun in the process. The White Rabbit concocts a plan that will allow her and her lover, The Rose, to take the throne as the Queens of Wonderland. The original “Alice” was her first obstacle and the next is the Queen of Hearts. So begins the tale of a dastardly plot to murder the Queen and coronate the Rabbit and Rose. Poison-tarts, tea parties and plenty of raucous fun and cross-dressing ensue. Stand-out performances from Tim Watermeyer (The Mad Hatter) and John Hollick (The March Hare) kept the audience laughing. A ridiculously funny scene with Fadi Otaqui (The Duchess) and Aaron Krongold (The Cook) brought the audience nearly to tears, the actors themselves hardly maintaining straight-faces (though the intimacy of the small venue probably did won- ders to keep the giggling actors from destroying the mood.) Evil plotting by the grudge-bearing White Rabbit (Lindsey Forbes) and the whip- toting Rose (Michelle Righetti) kept the play on- track, mostly. The second act dragged a bit, and extended sequences of Seinfeld-esque bickering between Tweedles Dee (Mark Toszegi) and Dum (Ingrid Nugent) sometimes just went on too long. Shelagh Hughes also made a brilliant performance as the disgruntled, down-and-out Humpty-Dumpty, ic Producers: Keith Fernandes, Mike P. Taylor, Andrew Tyler who geis ravaged by the Hatter and Hare, and subsequently receives a glamourous make-over and self-esteem boost from Tertia, the late Alice’s chronically neglected sister (think Jan Brady), Tweedle Dee and Tweedie Dum. The blocking of the performance became an issue on occasion, as the use of a large wooden- framed cube wrapped with tenser-bandages stood in, somewhat imperfectly, for a curtain, a jabberwocky and miscellaneous other things. Lighting arrangements made the cube alternately opaque or translucent, but not necessarily at the right times. You certainly might have been able to believe that the caterpillar was sitting high above on a mushroom, if it weren’t for the fact that you could clearly see the silhouette of a ladder through the bandage-cube. It proved to be an interesting device, that might have been truly successful if it had been used more carefully. The set design was nicely minimalist. With all the bizarre things that one might have contrived to illustrate the absurd world of Wonderland, much was done with lighting; an original score, composed by Alexander Rapoport; some cargo nets; and the above mentioned cube. The light- ing, in particular, effected a suitably eerie tone throughout. Something more acrobatic might have been accomplished by the Cheshire Cat (John Loerchner) as he climbed all over the cargo nets on either side of the stage, though | suspect that safety (and the nets’ stability) might have been’ an issue there. Now about all the aspects of this play that haven't got much to do with the Lewis Carroll, or the story... The clowning was fun, and as with other pieces that Keith Fernandes has directed, well- executed. The collaborative improv script-writing process seems to have worked out well, though every so often the singular vision of one playwright might have helped to keep things on track, or tie-up loose ends. In particular, some grasping could be sensed in extended dialogues between the Narrator (Stephen Edgell) and Tertia (Sthar Martin) where a single writer might have been better able to focus the direction. In fact, the play suffered from seri- ous tangentiality... But then again, so did Carroll’s original book, and that is the way of Wonderland. Curiouser and curiouser, indeed. The play’s climax was a stage-fight, and as with other UTSC Drama pieces where stage combat was involved, the audi- ence was subject to something not wholly unpleas- ing, but not really all that entertaining either. The music held everything together, though, and in the end, even a comedic anti-climax, involving a lizard and a poison-tart, couldn't spoil all the fun. All in all, “Alice in Wonderland” was fun, campy and definitely worth a peek. 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground They Should Have Called It ‘Biker Sux’ (That’s Right, With An ‘X’) | Sachin “Unnecessarily profane” Hingoo Associate Editor Title: Biker Boyz Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Orlando Jones, Eriq LaSalle (or ‘ER’ fame), hot hot Lisa Bonet and Kid Rock Director: Reggie Rock Bythewood Rating: xox eK (Yes, that’s right. Zero stars.) Note: This article contains information that will spoil this movie for you. Good. If | can do my part to save you $13.50, then the purpose of this article has been fulfilled. Besides, the director has done a lot more to spoil this movie than | ever could. That's right, zero stars. | would rate porn higher. See, if each star represents one enjoyable aspect of a movie, then this film deserves none. The acting is passable, but the dialogue is inane. I’m sorry, but when you use the word ‘aight’ TWICE in one sentence, you lose, Mr. Screenwriter. You lose. The director tried so hard to make this movie legitimate with some ‘fancy’ camera work that is utterly. inappropriate for this genre. When | go to a bike-racing movie, I'd like to be able to, | don’t know, SEE THE RACES YOU FUCKFACE. So this movie is about bike-racing, but not really. There’s bike-racing in it, that’s for sure, but the real storyline is a father and son tale that will leave you in tears, wailing in the crowded theatre for the director to please please oh god go back to the motherfucking racing | hate this movie and | want to walk out but I’ve been here for an hour and a half and Lisa Bonet is so hot. There is an unexpected plot twist regarding the paternity of the pro- tagonist, and while you don’t see it coming, it's far too late in the film to justify your admis- sion. Besides, when you find out that the kid’s father is actually Fishburne and not the guy from ER who died at the beginning, you don't care. | guess we're to assume that most of the ‘Biker Boyz’ have real jobs outside of the motorcycle scene, but we’re not privy to any of that, except for one scene where you find out that the jive-talkin’ Orlando Jones, who plays a character named “Soul Train” is actu- ally a lawyer. Right. And then there’s the music. See, when this movie was called The Fast and the Furious, they used high-energy music, usually techno or hip-hop, to suggest, um, GOING FAST. With this movie, however, someone (I’m looking at you, Kid Rock you cunting redneck trash) thought that it'd be appropriate to use country music for many of the races, including the last one. WAKE UP ASSHOLES THE DUKES OF HAZZARD |S OFF THE AIR FORA REASON! Speaking of Kid Rock and assholes, Kid Rock is an asshole. Even if you were the world’s biggest Kid Rock fan, you’d probably brush your mullet out of your eyes (never mind, you don’t have to brush a mullet) long enough to realize that this is no 8 Mile. Though his acting is passable, when even Laurence Fishburne can’t make this dialogue work, you can’t expect a whole lot from a guy who eloquently named his song “Bawitdaba’. Had his screen time been replaced by the amount given to former Cosby Kid Lisa Bonet, | might have had to give this movie a star. Sadly, it’s not. Bonet is relegated to little more than a bit part while Kid Rock’s role is pivotal. Don’t ask me, | didn’t write it. I've already devoted much more space and time to this movie than it deserves, but I'd like to wrap it up by saying that | hope this director, Reggie Rock Blythewood, fucking dies. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Columns | Frog in My Throat — There are moments in your life that you never forget. Picture it, Montreal, Honoré Mercier Elementary School. The time is 1984, the place is Miss Rachel's homeroom class. Ayoung third grader sits in her chair awaiting her problem-solving test score. Merika is an excellent student who, just the other day, was told to tell her parents not to come to Parents’ Night because there was no need. On this very cold day in October, Miss Rachel starts off the day with a bang. She takes atten- dance and at the request of the teacher's pet, (Ennio B.) she hands out the stack of corrected math tests. She begins to blurt out names, sounding very much like the teacher in Charlie Brown. The sound of the shuffling of tests being distributed brings both excitement and angst to this eclectic class. The noise stops as Miss Rachel reaches the test belonging to the third grader in question. "Merika,” Miss Rachel says looking up from her pile of papers, “could you please come up to my desk and get your test?” Not thinking anything of it, the young girl makes her way to the front of the class. “Class,” Miss Rachel says, "| want everyone to know that Merika got a 14 on 40 on her problem-solving test....You see class, no one is perfect...| just want you all to do your best.” Suddenly Merika’s eyes cloud over and she is swept to another place. (pause) stomp. Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Ole! As the tears welled, all she could see was the faint image of Miss Rachel, smiling and beautiful, in a red, ruffled dress, hair slick and combed into a bun, doing La Cucaracha in slow motion. Miss Rachel is towering, larger than life. She raises her castanets. They make a clicking sound that reminds Merika of hard rain hitting an aluminum roof. Soles hit the floor, faster, faster and faster still. Miss Rachel dances furiously and with passion and at that precise moment, she crushes Merika into a mil- lion irreconcilable pieces. Believe it or not, this is a true story. O.K. it may sound a tad overdramatic but this was my reality as a third grader. As | reread my last paragraph, maybe it was all for the best. In times of stress and utter devastation, | tend to delve into the realm of the imagination for resonance and support. We all have our escapist tendencies...mine are just a little more eccentric than eating comfort food or going to the movie theatre. It was this defining moment in elementary school that simultaneously gave life to my cre- eee ee ee a http://www. ee Bi oaiio: es Deum mis 6) pica Se 6 A ae als ir Saf - a oa Frog in my Throat Merika Ramundo ative drive and death to my inclination to experiment with mathematics. As of grade three, | have hated everything that has to do with numbers. In high school, teachers would wonder why | struggled with Algebra, Chemistry and Physics. In CEGEP my brother-in-law went so far as to bribe me into taking Calculus. | barely passed, and although the sense of accomplishment was overwhelming at the time, deep down inside | knew that | would never recollect an iota of what | was tested on. The irony is that | now work with numbers everyday. Budgets, spreadsheets, formulas, it’s all about the bottom line at times, especially when you work for a not-for-profit theatre company. | have now come to terms with my dis- dain of all things calculable not because of my schooling or work experience but because of my nonno Nicola and one moment in my life that occurred way before the “psychologically- scarring- grade-three-Miss Rachel fiasco”. One of my first memories was of my grandfather Nicola. He was a kind and gentle giant whose face was wrinkled with pockets of soft furry skin. My nonno used to take me for walks in the park and allowed me to spin his red, velvet wine rack as fast as | wanted...with the wine on it no less! One thing that my nonno loved to do was play cards and he made it his mission to teach me how to read and play with Italian playing cards. One game in particular, Scopa (Italian for “sweep”), was my favorite because | had to use my counting skills to be able to add up the numbers on the table to see if they matched the numbers in my hand. It was a challenge that this five year old couldn’t pass up and | was usually victo- rious in the matches against my nonno. This was one of the few times | enjoyed learning math because it was done with love. So now when | am developing pro- jections or analyzing data to formulate stats | think about my nonno and try to do it with love — a love for my work, a love for the community | serve and a love for myself. And as for Miss Rachel, she can kiss my c-ass-tanets. PS: | got my comeuppance this week dear readers. Finally, Frog in My Throat — has instigated some form of dialogue between yourselves and the lonely writer that is me. To my surprise and delight, | received 2, count them 2 letters from readers with regard to my article on Pet Peeves. Thanks to Jean and TOOR for voicing their love of the peeve. : / not very. patient :) K Wednesday, February 5, 2003 Dear Ramundoelmundo, To give you one guy's opinion, | think there’s little worse than living in aco-ed res house with a girl who leaves her Haynes Her Way underwear in the bathroom on the towel-rack to greet you g’morning. Nothing says le ee teva poe like Grandma ‘underwear. "Sincerely, . _Turned-off on Residence. _ Dear TOOR, a thave a fealing | know you from. somewhere... Perhaps: we lived together in another life?? You are dangerous and know too much. You must admit, dear TOOR, the girl you speak of is not perfect... hell, | too, admit to wearing grandma underwear...it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. | am sure that the girl in question apologizes for abandoning my, | mean her undergarments in the !oo. Look at the bright side TOOR, at least we are both aware of the fact that our habits may be the cause of someone’s inner angst....which can only mean room for oe and of course, SEX. Hi Merika, | ad your aticle on new. year resolutons in fe Ureeoroune. Believe it or not, | ama regular reader. | look forward to the Underground every Wednesday. Your article made me want to share my pet peeves __with you. It really bugs me when people chew with their mouths open. | _ __ cringe every time | have to sit in front of a person that does that and make _ fe just want to scold them like their mother should have. Another pet _ peeve is when people don't clean their plates. | mean, __ their food, but there will be a few straggles of rice, veg - left o over. nit oo ve nes got that far, ‘then “ie might as 5 well finish i tu they would finish : bles, or meat bout ae wali wk oe Thank) you for writing!t!!! Food | is always. the c cause oh many a a pet peeve! My mother used to hate when | read while | ate at the kitchen table. | must admit that | have left bits of food on my plate but | have recently discovered the fantastic world of composting! _ Thank you Green Wizard! | see every pet peeve as something that has the potential to be insightful and constructive. As for my being _ impatient, you might be onto something there Jean...! think that | am patient when | know that there is something to be patient for. For example, waiting to see the dentist may not be the most thrilling way to spend my time, but it's important, whereas waiting for my ‘computer to reboot after it has crashed for the seventh time is not _my idea of a good time. | The Underground Groundworks Moonlight shone brightly through the open window. The dim light illuminating the matte black cyberdeck and the soft clacking of keys, were the only sign that anyone was in the master bedroom of the high rise apartment. Zen’s decrypt program was working steadily on the scramble IC that guarded the datafile. Whatever Lotus had on the chip, she had wanted to make sure that it remained a'secret: The sound of footsteps inthe hallwa made Zen look up from the small LCD viewscree caught her breath. She didn’t knc why she ha agr to let her teammates stay at her apartment. Momentary weakness she guessed. A few moments later she heard a toilet flush and breathed a sigh of relief. Turning back te the screen she saw that the decrypt program had finished. Like an explosion text began to scroll down the screen. Her eyes dashed over the words. The name Michael Talen, caught her eye. Michael Talen, the man responsible for the death oO her parents. A wave of emotions swept over her. Anger and pain burned in her chest. Tears filled her eyes as a cruel smile crept onto her lips. She would finally have her revenge... The next morning at the breakfast table, Morgan looked troubled. ‘What had gone wrong?’ He had known that there was something wrong with the whole deal from the very beginning. His muscles protested painfully as he pushed himself up from the table and walked to the window. Looking down on the street three floors below, he spot- ted some kids playing near a Porsche Mako. The black ragtop of the convertible sports car matched nicély with the red paintjob of the body. Morgan’s mind wandere: to thoughts of retirement. Yeah, maybe he could talk't an old friend about buying the damned cyberdeck for a pretty penny. At least that way he’d be rid of the awful thing. From the trio that sat quietly chatting at the table, Zen’s voice chimed, “Hey Morgan, penny for your thoughts.” Morgan turned around and laid eyes on her pretty face. A few more popped into his head as she smiled at him. “Well...” she asked impatiently. The small bell hanging over the door chimed as Morgan stepped into the Private Eye's office. Steven Cranz looked up from the newspaper clutched in one yellowed hand. Placing the burned out butt of a cigarillo into an overflowing ashtray he said, “Have a seat, and place the piece on the desk.” Following his directions, Morgan dropped his Guardian onto the paint chipped desk and slid onto the hard surface of the proffered wooden armchair. Placing the first credstik onto the desk he waited patiently for Cranz to speak. Cranz was one of the best Private Investigators in Seattle. Morgan had been a friend of his for years. But this was business. It was like an unspoken rule between the two, to not mix friendship and money. Morgan had made a few calls toa few of his contacts for a information. Cranz Nad be hnson is just another face in the crowd. it,” Cranz said smoothly as he picked the desk. Dropping it into a drawer “he continued “At least, | ran a few che ‘Lotus.’ | didn’t fin enced it with Renrak he’d want most people to think. e by the name or handle “Must be some interesting bit. | dug a ned out to be Michael “Michael Talen, the head of ele Why would he want to steal som corp. Let alone his own division?” cs at Renraku? — y the datafile.” Cranz said retrieving a small plastic case from the pocket of his jacket. Handing it to Morgan he smiled and shook his hand. “A pleasure doing business with you.” Morgan picked his guardian up off the desk and hol- stered it. Giving his good-byes he turned and headed for the door. Morgan paused as Cranz called after him. “Hey! Was that you and your fixer that shot up that place on I-5?” “Yeah, maybe.” “That's too bad, it was a nice aoe i Bele Steeles “Yeah, it was.. Sv EANUD a quick - SHANE | this happens...” mumbled Morgan to iu really are bad luck,” sneered Haze cruelly. : “Shut up Haze,” repl The air was cool onthe top of the iow rent housing complex. The neighboring building gave Rick O’Shea a clean vantage point of the renegade runner’s hideout. Lowering the binoculars, he jotted quickly in a small note pad. Turning the dial of the receiver on his belt he picked up the predetermined channel he spoke. “Hello? Yes, this is O'Shea. | have targets in view; waiting for conformation.” The apartment was quiet except for the two bicker- ing runners. Morgan looked solemnly at his chummers, just frag off, okay Haze...” “So are you some kinda jinx now, or something...” Haze asked with a chuckle. Morgan ignored him, Scowling he removed the chip from the catatonia and slid it into his pocket. i ut pause. “...1 mean, the last 1ole team got fragged. And fragged right from the “,.Look, start.” Morgan’s lips curled in slotter!” Morgan spat as he | “Confirmation affirmative.” Jinxed As Cranz paused, Morgan placed another credstik onto the desk. Cranz nodded, before continuing. “| found a datafile that was downloaded about a week ago by some Renraku exec. addressed to a fixer that went by the name of Lotus.” “Renraku exec?” replied Morgan. sort of inside job.” it to his shoulder. The scope mounted on top gave a clear picture of Morgan’s chest. As he lined up the shot over his heart, he inhaled deeply. Holding it, his finger moved to the trigger. The scope whizzed suddenly over Morgan’s chest as he lunged for something on the other side of the window. Opening his left eye and moving his head away from the scope he spied the struggle ensuing. “Fraggit,” carefully and spoke into his headset. Switching tactics to compensate.” “Negative O'Shea...” squawked the headset. “...| repeat nega...” The voice trailed off as he dropped the headset to the gravel roof. “| can't concentrate with that damn thing on,” he mumbled. Reaching into his duffe! bag he drew out his Avenger enade launcher and put it to his shoulder. ee. he swore softly. He lay down the rifle “Minor problem, lamp toppled as Morgan and Haze trampled past. The glass shattering as it hit the carpet. As the two rammed into the desk, Zen snatched the cyberdeck from behind them and held it against her chest pro- tectively. Turning, Morgan shoved Haze into the wall. The dwarf grunted in pain. Releasing Morgan’s shirt he punched him across the face. Morgan’s head snapped back as he reeled from the blow. Jester grabbed the both of them and tried to separate the two. Lining the sight up with the window, O’Shea pulled the trigger, launching three metallic spheres across the street. Slrappet tore into cvervtnine: The bast oeneied out the window, catching Morgan and Zen and launching them out over the street. Everything seemed to slow down, the wind whipped past them as they plummeted. Looking down, Morgan spotted the Porsche Mako parked out front coming up fast. Turning in the air, he pushed off from Zen and braced himself. The ragtop caught Zen, braking most of her momentum as she ripped through. Morgan overshot and landed on the windshield. His attempt at a breakfall shattered the glass and the bones in his left arm. He lay still for a moment looking up at the flame spouting from the window of the apartment above. Sliding off the hood he stumbled over to the passenger door. Zen had collected herself long enough to begin hot wiring the car. Suddenly a chunk of asphalt exploded next to Morgan as a shot from O’Shea’s rifle narrowly missed him. Looking up he spotted the sun glinting off the long barrel. He pulled his Guardian from his jacket with his good arm and squeezed off a quick burst at the roof- top. Moving fast he jumped into the low slung car and shouted, “Drive!” The Mako roared to life as Zen spliced two wires together. A round slammed into the dash as she put it into gear. The Mako growled as it peeled out, a track of rubber left in their wake... 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ APRICA AT WEVERS TORONTO what efrica hes TASTE OF AFRICA Glan & Tres feb 08 & Tr il-Sgees Wed Fol 12 & Thers Fob 83-7 2pm Medical Sciences Bullding Student Centre = COLOUR AFRICA AR Men & Tees Pot 16 8 T-i-~4iee Wod Feb 12 & There Feb 12-TH-4 ps Madical Sciences Building ’ | Mee, Bee ae 2 given tha FOOD Tove Fels TI & Wod Fol: 12-ThZpan iEST Wednesday, February 5, 2003 _. rer, act wheat im .F FARE Mesting Pos GALLERY wes Fob 1 & Wed Fob 12 T-4pmn Maating Place IVAL Mon Pub 1 & eax Fel Bebeaies TOWN HALL MEETINGS ON ACADEMIC PLANNING & The Provost’s Office launched the next academic planning process in mid December by posting “green papers” at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. A “green paper” is issued for a consultative phase that precedes the drafting of a planning or policy document. The “green paper” phase of planning aims to elicit campus-wide discussion about priorities for the next academic plan. The green papers have also been published in the January 13" issue of the Bulletin. During January and February, Provost Shirley Neuman will be holding a series of Town Hall meetings to discuss the “green papers”. This is an opportunity for all members of the University community to contribute their ideas and their sense of priorities to the academic planning process. Please encourage your faculty colleagues, and your graduate and undergraduate students to attend one of these meetings and please attend yourself. All members of the University—students, faculty, staff and alumni—are strongly encouraged to participate in one or more of these fora to share their questions, ideas and responses with each other and the Provost. Following this consultation, a draft academic plan for the 2003-2009 period will be drafted. It will be circulated for further discussion LVELUT The calendar for the Town Hall meetings follows: Friday, January 10, 2003 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm Innis College, Town Hall, Room 112 2 Sussex Avenue Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Medical Science Building MacLeod Auditorium, Room 2158 1 King’s College Circle Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm Victoria University Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ > Iie td j “Th a eee Le | Sony Thursday, January 16, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am Bahen Centre Information Technology Auditorium, Room 1160 40 St. George Street Monday, January 20, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University College Room 140 15 King’s College Circle Friday, January 24, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University of Toronto at Mississauga Matthews Auditorium Kaneff Centre, Room 137 3359 Mississauga Road North before being taken to Governing Council in late spring. Monday, January 27, 2003 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm Trinity College George Ignatieff Theatre 15 Devonshire Place Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am St. Michael’s College Alumni Hall, Room 100 121 St. Joseph Street Friday, January 31, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Earth Sciences Centre, Room 1050 25 Wilcocks Street Monday, February 3, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am OISE/UT Auditorium, Room G162 252 Bloor Street West Wednesday, February 5, 2003 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm University of Toronto at Scarborough Humanities Wing, 2™ floor, Room 216 1265 Military Trail Friday, February 14, 2003 10:00 am- 11:30 am New College Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016 30 Wilcocks Street The Underground Life “EAT ME!" Since the inception of the new Ti Hortons right across the Bookstore, traffic down that hallway has been horrendous. The line up for people wanting Timmy-Ho-Ho’s clogs the hallway like hardened cholesterol clogs arteries within our bodies. And it seems to be perpetual, with only a few moments during the day when there are fewer than 10 people. As | witness the daily circus that the Tim Hortons has become, | pity the people who line up for hours waiting for their needed caffeine fix, or that healthy choice which replaces their breakfast, lunch and dinner. But, really, what choice do they have? Do they really want yet another slice of greasy pizza, or an excessively expensive pita? Not to mention the H-Wing cafeteria, which! have not set foot in since my first year. Oh yes, some of the foods might look and smell appetizing for one who hasn't eaten for days, but | assure you, eating the foods provided at U of T at Scarborough is a life-threat- ening experience. For one thing, the almighty pizza slice: quick, relatively cheap, and strangely tasty no matter how many slices we have had in the past 48 hours. That slice is more grease and fat wallowing on top of stale cheese under a hot lamp for hours than any source of nutrition. One slice of pepperoni pizza contains 750 calories and 19 grams of fat. For those of you not well versed in the fie!d of nutrition, 750 calories is a hell of a lot for something that you can gobble down in 2 minutes. Anything with ham or bacon has even more fat and even more calories, and that’s not including the bag of chips and can of pop that so many people opt for, which only makes matters worse. Ever get that strange bloated feeling after eating pizza that makes paying attention to lectures tough? That's your stomach trying to digest the 18 Rob Chung Underground Staff intense amount of fat that you've just inhaled. And what about the extraordi- narily popular Tim Hortons? Many people regard Tim’s as a healthy alternative to pizza. And in some cases it is. But just to be a jerk and to ruin it for all the calorie -counting people reading this, most of Tim Hortons food items aren’t that much healthier than that day old slice of pizza you can get in half the amount of time it takes to get a coffee and a muffin. Speaking of muffins, the aver- age muffin that the Tim’s at UTSC sells contains about 340 calories and over 10 grams of fat. Though this doesn’t sound like that much, how many people are actually full after eating one muffin. It honestly would take me about 3 muffins to feel like | had a decent meal. You would also think that the sandwiches are pretty healthy, and again you're wrong. The average sandwich has between 380 and 470 calories and roughly 14 grams of fat. In all honesty, that is certainly a lot less than one slice of pizza, and probably does stop the hunger pangs of the average person. | won't even talk about donuts, except to say that even pizza looks healthy compared to those sugar covered, deep fried pieces of flour and bits of apple. The salvation of the Bladen Wing cafeteria was the Pita Pit. Pitas are wonderful creations; meats and vegetables enclosed in delicious flat bread. Much like the food at Tim Horton’s, a pita seems like a healthy choice, and they probably are the healthiest choice at UTSC, but look- ing at the nutritional information pro- vided by The Pita Pit, the pita bread alone contains 260 calories. That's without any meat, vegetables, or sauces. Yes, the evil sauces - so nec- essary, but so necessarily unhealthy. Aserving of the most popular sauce - mayonnaise - has by itself 10 grams “One slice of pepperoni pizza contains 750 calories and 19 grams of fat. For those of you not well versed in the field of _nutrition, 750 calories is a hell of a lot for something that you can gobble down in 2 minutes.” of fat. Nevertheless, ignoring the issue of the fattening sauces, overall, the pita seems to be the best choice for a healthy lunch. The number of vegetables one can choose from is very appealing. The choice of meats is impressive, and taste as good as they smell when they are quickly flash fried. My problem with the Pita Pit is how much they charge for their pitas. Remembering that most of us are drowning in our own debts, leaving The Pita Pit $6 poorer and without a drink is pretty harsh. You could even spend more if you get one of their fancy pitas. | guess the fountain water will have to do for now. | haven't bought a_ food item at UTSC since first year. And | don't think | will again. No matter how hun- gry |am, no matter how much | crave aslice of pizza, or a Chunky Chicken Salad Sandwich, | refuse to pay hard earned money to eat food that will only go to my slowly growing gut, and not to quenching the never- ending hunger pangs of my stomach. | only have so much of the green to go to food - the rest goes to gas and books. Though the university has done its best to provide for the nutri- tional well-being of its students, until they offer truly fresh, healthy choices at affordable prices, | will continue to Book Now, Space FF let my stomach eat itself. ' Just an afterthought: once upon a time, someone really smart came up with the idea of debit cards so that people wouldn’t have to carry cash around, or go to bank machines every time they wanted -to spend $5... Tim Horton’s, Pita Pit, and Cafés, | am looking your way. Spring Break wee, trovelcels. com tae Pts “eeu = http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘Life Wednesday, February 5, 20 03 Satanic Verses raise ire UTSC under fire? Christian Lucier Life Editor It is safe to say that UTSC’s greatest claim to fame is diversity, and diversity comes in many forms on campus. Our large student body is comprised of dif- ferent ethnic backgrounds, various reli- gions, and beliefs. In my opinion, UTSC is one of the most diverse facilities in the GTA. We got it all. However, diversity on campus from time to time creates conflicts where a solution is not always at hand. In particular, | am talking about The Satanic Verses, an incredibly controver- sial novel, and its relationship with UTSC. The Satanic Verses is a novel written by Salman Rushdie. For those of you living under a rock, the controversy that clouds this novel stems from Rushdie’s jabs at the Koran and his satirizing of biblical tales. Muslims abhor Rushdie’s work. They find The Satanic Verses incredibly hurtful and offensive. Students can purchase The Satanic Verses at the UTSC bookstore for $22.95. The novel is also taught in The Immigrant Experience in Literature, a C-level English course. Word has it that some of the Muslim members of the UTSC community are having a difficult time coming to terms with the school’s association with the novel. They are in the dark as to why UTSC would sell this distasteful novel and or teach it. For many Muslims, this novel does not fit into the category of higher education. At the time of this printing, the Muslims Student Association has not replied to my emails for comment. The importance of the Rushdie dilemma is to illustrate that there are http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ really no solutions to conflicts of this sort. The Satanic Verses could be pulled from the shelves, and not taught at all, yet that wouldn't be fair to those who are not affected by Rushdie’s words, and fur- thermore would breach the neutrality of UTSC. But what about the Muslims on campus who are hurt by UTSC’s affilia- tion with the book? !s it fair to ignore their feelings? No. We are in a catch22 situa- tion. It is a given that catch22 situations are unsolvable dilemmas. We simply have to live with them. UTSC has made one approach to the whole ordeal with their sensitive approach to the novel. | am in the class that teaches this book. What we did, was read the sections that are less offensive. Basically, The Satanic Verses is made up of two stories. We simply read the story that is not as controversial. Is this a suit- able solution? Probably not, but it will have to do. Catch22. There are no solutions for problems like these. Even when each side of the debate tries to lean towards some sort of solution, absolute satisfaction is not achieved. Who would have ever thought that our greatest claim to fame (diver- sity), would also deprive some students of a comfortable learning experience. | would suggest that we as a student body honor and live by the term “neutral- ity.” That is the only expression that | could find that would work in this issue. When you enter the grounds of UTSC, you are on neutral ground, and that neu- trality is the one link we all share regard- less of religion or personal differences. [VET FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT t THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT * COMMUNICATIONS * PHILANTHROPY Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni.utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S. Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle between 9:00am — 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian@utoronto.ca Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? Are you interested in a career that involves: 19 CHAS Rvp —eibcave T=Valelssisii The. Underground. 1s SD "Drink The Kool-aid, Fuckass!" Is it or isn’t ita cult? How to know when fo run... Sachin “Promise Keeper Since 1986” Hingoo Associate Editor You enter the building, catching the faint scent of incense as you walk through the door. Elaborate paintings adorn the walls, making you take a step back in awe. But you are drawn in, inex- plicably, and you sit down. Before you stands a man, someone who would seem diminutive in stature if you were to meet him on the street, but here in this place, he seems larger than life. He speaks charismatically, and despite the fact that the room is filled with people, he seems to speak directly to you, like no one else is here. He describes your life, your problems, and ways to deal with them. It makes so much sense when you say it like that, you think several times during the sermon. The music begins, an uplifting song that everyone seems to know but you. You want to be a part of this. You want to feel whole again. It seems as though the speaker has read your mind. He begins talking about bringing new members ‘into the fold’ and ‘showing them the path’. He says thatit’s so easy to join the movement. All that’s needed is a small donation, for which you lf that rad new club you just joined (ahem! | Am Canadian...) meets the following criteria, you've joined a cult! Be careful kids.... and don't talk to strangers. will receive a book, ostensibly written by the speaker, or in a larger congregation, God. You gratefully shell out the money, not realizing that ‘small’ isn’t that small. You don’t care. You're part of something bigger than yourself. You've found that missing piece in your life. So do you have faith, or are you being duped? When it comes to cults and religions, the line can be hard to see, especially if you're in the middle of it. On one hand, your life sucks. Your problems seem insurmountable. On the other hand, you have a large group of kindred spirits, all claiming to have found peace and security through their congregation. The choice seems simple, but anyone living in Waco, Texas will tell you the danger that can result from join- ing a cult. Because of Waco and other such incidents, certain criteria have been outlined to distinguish between cults and religions. This criteria is based on Robert Jay Lifton’s eight-point theory of coercion and mind-control. Basically, if a congre- gation meets these eight points, it can be safely said that it is attempting to exert psychological control over its members. “EEK! 1. ENVIRONMENT CONTROL - placing limits on outside communication, including books, magazines, or other mate- rial from outside the cult. Even contact with family may be frowned-upon. “Join us and separate from your problems” 2. MYSTICAL MANIPULATION - employing ‘miracles’ or other mystical phenomena to dazzle and wow a poten- tial member. “Water into wine, baby! OH YEAH!” 3. DEMAND FOR PURITY - claiming to bring about some profound change in the world on a global, social, or personal level. “Perfection can be attained if you stay with us.” 4. CULT OF CONFESSION - demanding full self-disclosure to other members or even the entire group. “Unburden yourself, my child.” 5.SACRED SCIENCE - The doctrine is uncontestable. Everything and anything can be explained with the group’s perspective, and it is the ABSOLUTE truth, without question. Scary Cult Kool-Aid Man! Run for you lives!” 6. LOADED LANGUAGE - the use of pat or clichéd phrases which are heard repeated verboten by other members of the group. The terminology prevents each member from critically evaluating any situation. 7. DOCTRINE OVER PERSON - Everything that came before joining the group is explained through the doctrine, even if it conflicts with the group’s beliefs. 8. DISPENSING OF EXISTENCE - The only path to salvation is through the group. Non-members are irrevocably doomed. In tandem, these methods of coercion can be used to make people behave in ways that they might not normally behave. The term ‘mind control’ is applicable here in a very real sense. Just make sure that you know the warning signs, and that if you are being influenced in any way, just get out | of there before the firebombing starts, ok? Or at least make sure you know where they keep the hose. 20 ae ae Haiku | Comics Wednesday, February 5,.2003 For the coming summer, we are looking for by Sachin Hingoo experienced student emt ployees 28. Weekly Age SU ad lesus @ DAY CAMP INSTRUCTORS pen @ CERTIFIED TENNIS INSTRUCTORS @® TENNIS COURT SUPERVISORS @ TIMER/SCORER-BASKETBALL LEAGUE ® CUSTOMER SERVICE STAFF* *applloations will anhy be geeaptad after March Please submait your application with a resume to the Physical Edaeaton Department Office R-247. . @ eee utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 21 ae CA . PRA The Underground Bs a aA aPCRA Ih EMMTGPRN Tg II aaa? ea agri rehinieon --- ~~ Diversions : | Due to ihe success of team diversions: last atteripes at origami, we by _ have decided to have one more go at it. This time instead of a per we have provided the instructions for a paper airplane. Don’t be dis- é 2 couraged. This is no ordinary paper airplane. This plane, which has — Kel ly Lisle been nicknamed ‘the flying fish’, flies with incredible force a id preci- 3 5 sion. Just like the actual flying fish that | have frozen in my freezer. | & Ay sh la Deg la _ threw one at a Hessel Krista last ee and it AL square in the j joa _ ee . 1. Make the normal fold down the middle as shown on the left and then re-open the paper flat (but with a crease down the middle). 2. Then fold in the top left hand corner to the centre line and the top right hand corner in the same manner along the ~ diagonal dotted lines shown on the left this should give you the form shown below (grey denotes the “underside” of the sheet of paper) 3. Fold the two sides EQUALLY in to the centre line along the dotted lines shown on the left. This should give the symmetric form displayed below 4. Simply fold point A to meet point B as shown on the left. Make this fold along the dotted line and then crease hard and open the paper again then fold along this line in the opposite direction, crease hard and unfold again. 5. Now fold C to meet D (indicated on the left), crease hard and unfold. Repeat with A and B. 6. Press in on the points marked C and D pushing the paper up along the fold made in Step 4 and giving the pushed inwards and upwards sides hopefully indicated in the diagram below. 7. Now fold up point A marked on the left to meet point B. This should only involve folding up a flap of paper. The crease should be made VERY HARD and then unfolded and this flap tucked inside the nose of the plane. There should be a very obvious pocket in which to do this. 8. Now simply fold out the undercarriage as shown on the left to give the finished product shown below. This final form should then be thrown by holding the pocket mentioned in Step 7 and angling the nose of the plane very slightly downwards. A gentle throw will result in a long glide. 9. The finished product. 22 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : Wednesday, February 5, 2003 Sports Weovinrsnten POO scswssctoyppean pits scttttiitistiairtezeentays UTSC Men's It was a fantastic finish to the season for the Men's B Division volleyball team. After disposing of St. Mike’s College in the semifinals, the team was off to the championship game where they were set to square off against Pharmacy. In an earlier match during the regular season, these two same teams battled it out, with Pharmacy emerging victoriously and handing Scarborough its one and only loss of the season. UTSC was eagerly looking for payback, and earning a vic- tory would be much sweeter given the magnitude of the game. Entering the finals, the odds were stacked against UTSC. As the visitors, the team had to play on the road and in the opposing team’s gym - a hostile envi- ronment to say the least. Moreover, the Pharmacy club was mainly comprised of 6-foot players whereas UTSC had sig- nificantly undersized players. However, what the team lacked in size, they made up in heart and sheer determination. Add to the fact that “superfans” Elvia Law, Paul da Silva, and Emily Stanimirovic came to support the team on the road, something magical was about to happen that night. The starting unit jumped off to a quick start and set the tone early against the opposition. The impenetrable block- ing and solid defense of UTSC con- stantly flustered the Pharmacy offence. Meanwhile, the Scarborough offence was operating on all cylinders, convert- http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ing picture-perfect sets into punishing and devastating spikes. After the dust had settled, UTSC emerged victoriously from the first set by a margin of 25-12. The second unit was sent out for the following set, hoping to close out the game and bring home the champion- ship back to Scarborough. However, the Pharmacy club made adjustments during the break and began to show poise and a sense of urgency that was lacking in the first set. This proved to make the task for the second squad much more difficult. Although UTSC fought hard and valiantly throughout the second set, they were simply too undersized and fell by the score of 25-18. This would set up a fantastic and scintillating finish to the championship game - the dramatic and decisive third set. You can easily sense the tension and pressure being felt by bought teams entering the final frame. Unfortunately, UTSC flinched first and committed several unforced errors to fall behind early. Seeing as the starters were cold and slightly jittery, Scarborough quickly called a timeout to regroup and calm itself down. This proved to be a critical turning point in the match, as UTSC quickly erased the deficit and stormed to an 8-6 lead as the team changed sides. The visiting team continued to build on that momentum, stretching the lead to 13-7 including a devastating spike that literally leveled a Pharmacy player off his forehead and leaving him sprawled over the court. With the championship only two points away, UTSC began to let up, which allowed Pharmacy to make its way back into the game. Tallying 5 straight unanswered points, the home team erased the deficit to only one. However, using their “never-say-die” attitude, UTSC dug deep and began to resort to the type of play that made them successful throughout the season. On the next play Scarborough put up a 3-man block that rejected a weak spike from Pharmacy, putting the score to 14-12. On the ensuing rally, UTSC com- mitted an unforced error that gave some hope to the opposition. However, that optimism was quickly crushed as UTSC, with the game on the line, ran a flawless offensive set that allowed the middle hitter to attack an uncontested shot. And just like that, it was game, set and match. UTSC - Grand Champions. Pandemonium ensued on the court, with some players waving towels in the air while others were jumping on top of each other. After months of grueling practices and games, their efforts culmi- nated in the most prized possession - the championship trophy. Players began to hoist their crowning achievement; a feat that many teams aspire to accomplish at the end of the season but only UTSC can proudly savor. For this season, and more importantly this night, it belonged to UTSC and UTSC alone. Herbie Ku Photos: Elvia Law LL Mitel pay ee 23 The Underground fete us’ knew Be sendin ng n email’with PAEVERTS? | in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca ‘The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the Oren sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Feb 1-9 First Aid and CPR Courses Brought to you by the ABCS. Two dif- ferent courses. $70 ABCS members. $80 non-members. Contact 99doudad@utsc. utoronto.ca. Feb 2 Homeland Security - SMERK ;4) & DROSS:TIK RECORDS PRESENT SAN FRANCISCO'S OPTIC (ISOLATE) AND NYC’S RENEGADE. VIRUS CREW, FEATURING AMOK, XYLENE, FURY8, NAKEDSLICE, FOODSTAMPZ, METROPHAGE AND NOBODY. CLUB 56 (56 KENSINGTON). $3 19+. Feb. 2 - Feb. 8 Peace Week. Campus Chaplain’s Association facilitates... speakers include: Jody Williams, Stephen Lewis, Craig Kielburger, Zanana Akande and Gwynne Dyer. More info (416) 888- 8535, gfs.khalsa@utoronto.ca 3 Feb-10 Feb--10-noon--Apprentice as a Bricklayer!! Youth Employment Services, 555 Richmond Street West, Toronto. Presenting: DAN ATTFIELD ON BRICKLAYING. DEMONSTRATION IN PROGRESS - RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES! SPEAK WITH AN EXPERT. FIND OUT ABOUT THE GREAT OPPORTUNITIES IN THIS FIELD! To register, call: (416) 504-5516. LAY THE BRICKS! LAY THEM! 5 FEB--3pm in the SVC--Free Admission--All are welcome. _ Info: 416.287.7076 STEPHANIE BOLSTER. If you saw ‘Alice’ at the LLBT, you won't want to miss this poet's interpretation of Alice in Wonderland, her journey, and to the imagined figure of ‘Alice out of Wonderland’--on a Vancouver beach with the poet, underground with Persephone, in Memphis with Elvis. 5 Feb--8:30pm--Small Jazz Ensembles- -Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park. Room: Walter Hall Price. 416-978- 3744 Meiko Lydall. 6 Feb 5PM--Forum on Iraq. The Hart House Debates Committee presents a forum on War in Iraq. Moderated by Margaret MacMillan, provost of Trinity College. All voices and opinions invited and welcome. Hart House: 7 Hart House Circle: Debates Room. 6 Feb--noon to 2--How the Media Affects the Peace Process--Munk Centre for International Studies 1 Devonshire Place (South House), Vivian and David Campbell Conference Facility. Toronto Professor Gadi Wolfsfeld speaks. Light Kosher Lunch RSVP attendance to events.munk@utoronto.ca or phone 416 946-8194 Feb. 6 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Feb. 7 United We Shine Talent Competition. Celebrate the accom- plishments of Toronto’s African-Canadian youth. Central Commerce Collegiate Institute, 570 Shaw. 7pm. — email: yese@lefca.com Feb. 7 Kathryn Rose, video release at Healey’s. $10 at the door. Doors at 9pm. 19+ Feb 8 Black on Black Crime. Inspired by actual events. York University’s Burton Auditorium. 4700 Keele Street. 7PM. Tickets are $15 advance, $20 at door. 8 Feb--9:30-noon--Self Care Through Creative Expression--Training Room, 119 Isabella Street. After attending this workshop you will have experi- enced Art Therapy techniques and discovered creative strategies to manage stress. For more information: Casey House tel: 416-962-4040 x226 8 Feb--1 to 4--Metro Network for Social Justice invites you to their Annual General Meeting. TTC token will be provided and Refreshment will be served as well. For more information and registration contact Oona Padgham at MNSJ: (416) 351-0095x237, 519 Church Street, Wellesly and Church Street 9 Feb 12:30-3:30--HOW CAN WE STOP RACISM?-_ Ellesmere Community Centre, 20 Canadian Road, Scarborough. A panel will be moderated by Raphi Vigod of the CBC. Panellists include Alexandra Battisdon from The Friends of Simon Wiesenthal Centre; Cheuk Kwan, Executive Director of the Harmony Movement in Canada; Yvonne Bobb Diablo, a union. activist; Detective James Hogan of the Toronto Police Anti-Hate Squad; and Ali Mallah of the Canadian Arab Federation. The floor will be opened up to the members of the community to hear their viewpoints and suggestions. For further informa- tion, please contact Lauri Sue Robertson - (416) 267-9600 11 Feb 10AM-1PM--Office Workers Career Centre Workshop on ADAPTING TO CHANGE. Office Workers Career Centre, 365 Bloor Street East, Toronto. Do you wince, hesitate or rebel when a change in routine is mentioned? Are you uncomfortable with change even when you see it coming? If you answered yes to these questions, then it’s time for this workshop! It’s time to learn the 5 critical components for effective change. If you are an unem- ployed administrative worker call us to register for an orientation and to book a workshop (Limited seating) Eligibility: One year continuous office experience 12 Feb--7:30 pm- 9:00 pm--Watts Lecture. The 30th annual Watts Memorial Lecture will be held in the Meeting Place. The featured lecturer is Preston Manning, and his speech is entitled “Changing the National Agenda”. Admission is free - all are welcome. For more information e- mail: joyce@utsc.utoronto.ca. Feb 13 LIFE IN THE SO-CALLED SPACE AGE Grand Opening. DJ Lazarus presents futurepop, ebm, and retro in the main room while Phink spins . electro and psy trance in the back. $2.50 domestics all night. Free. ZEN Lounge (526 Queen St. W.) Feb. 13 SCSU Spring Election Nomination Period - Closes Feb. 13 Mosaic Culture Show . 16 Feb--1-5PM--Curling Bonsp/tiel-- The Boulevard Club, 1491 Lake Shore Blvd. West, Toronto. A four hour curling event for non-curlers and experienced curlers alike. Equipment provided. Dress Warm. $50.00 per person. All proceeds support Student Life Education Company. Contact: Jen: 416-243-1338 17 Feb 6--8:30PM--South Asian Cooking for Your Heart Series. Knox Christian Centre, 2575 Midland Aveneue. Come and learn. about healthy South Asian Cooking. Free. Feb 7 (416) 338 7467 Feb. 20 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Feb. 20 Midnight Rainbow CD Release: Never Too Late. Medallian Community Centre, 7pm. $5 cover, or $20 with Midnight Rainbow CD. Call 647-271-0893. 22 Feb--YWCA Women’s Play Day--9 am--Danforth Collegiate in Riverdale, 1 block west of Greenwood subway, just north of Danforth, Toronto. The YWCA of Greater Toronto is hosting this fabulous new event for women. Spend a day attending ‘Funshops’ such as Pilates, Desperation Dinners, Erotic Dancing, Aromatherapy, and who knows what else. There will be 40 uber-trendy Funshops to choose from. Feb. 25 Jim Guthrie and the Crying Out Loud Choir. El Mocambo, phone 416-777-1777 for info. Feb. 25 - Mar. 4 SCSU Spring Election Campaign Period Feb. 27 SCSU Spring Election Candidate Forum Feb. 27 SCSU Social Mar. 5-6 SCSU Spring Elections Mar. 15 UTSC Annual Spring Formal Apr. 1 SCSU Annual Year-End BBQ ARR niet : a IO} 901049 jo pue [e19}1] aU} SI dU} IO OSHS ay JO SI} “Ud 0} JEU} SOAINO OU) So] YOns Ul JOO} ot} Ou SI d13} IBY pareos oul sayeul jnq lied eB uo po 1129 ‘sjaey ona junowe asuauul postidins sea p[nom auios se oy} ynoge ode c AvIoy INO u13aq om ‘TI ¢ pur ‘eroures yeNSIp v yo pouue Of DSLA ie a ay} YIM pasieyo uaaq se oda Aysni-Ajsny ano0A 4 ‘suooryeq st ‘puony Aut ‘ordoy oul | ‘noqe ye} AjoreI Inq “past Tle om jem SUTYJOUIOS BUISSNOSIP 34,9M ‘Kop I SONIORy Woorysem Jo JoyuINb Ss 9ST A jnoge YIN oy] INO puTy sistpeurnol sAvIQ ddI], call for nominations COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH and PLANNING AND BUDGET COMMITTEE 2003 ANNUAL ELECTIONS Nominations are invited for candidates to fill undergraduate student vacancies on Council of the University of Toronto at Scarborough and Planning and Budget Committee FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT at THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO RATE Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? fa) Are you interested in a career that involves: * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT * COMMUNICATIONS hb =VO | * PHILANTHROPY for the 2003/2004 session COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY of TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH Undergraduate students: 16 vacancies Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. PLANNING & BUDGET COMMITTEE Undergraduate students: 3 vacancies The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. For the purpose of the elections, undergraduate students are defined as those students registered at the University of Toronto at Scarborough in at least one half-course in the Fall/Winter Session or who are registered in a co-opera- tive program. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni_utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career.htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S. Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle between 9:00am = 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian@utoronto.ca Nominations open February 17, 2003 Election information is available from room S406 and the SCSU Office (B330). PUB NIGHT Thursday, Feb. 13, 2003 ? po WD at the Fox and Fiddle { to For further details visit: > > > > > S email iacc@utsc.utoronto.ca . | _to get on the FREE BUS 1 AM CANADIAN CLUE http://www.utoronto.ca/~iacc How’re yer toilets? UTSC’s bathrooms reviewed... . p.20 Wednesday, January 22, 2003 Building an ~_ Empire: US-style “The Underground goes to an Anti-war Conference... p.6 Also i in this Issue: Editorial P- 4 | Events Listings p. ES LeHare Pp. 4- a News (or views) News-as-Haiku p.7 An article to teach you about what the heck “tenure” is Arts Diaspora descends on UTSC p.6 The Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung, - Contributors: James Nugent, Safa Sabir, Lori, Chery! Charlton, _ Jeff Rybak, Jessica Mustachi, Cpl. Chris Moy. The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON. M1C 1A4 (in the es Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: — undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http:/Avww.scar.utoronto. .cal-undergne! . Mail: Nttp://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ... p.14 Slutarded rocks a room-tull of punk- artist-types p.11 Life Expressions against oppression - Take a lesson from Madonna p.16 SCSU Elections upcoming p.19 Groundworks p.12 (A plethora of haiku.and some wicked-evil comics.) Fire Safety Lesson from the Police p.19 Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor — On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia John Loerchner Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Susie Lopes - Michelle Ng_ Juliana Lam Millie Ng Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely __ consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious _ Submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Columns Frog in my Throat p.17 The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). ES The Underground,'):9-\'\V Pray for an election... a real election. The nomination period for SCSU’s spring election closes tomor- row, and let’s hope to hell that we have some hotshot candidates... “The 2003-2004 student union will be overseeing a year of unprec- edented change at this school.” Sure, we hear schlock like that all the time nowadays, but next year really will be important. Our new Student Centre is due to open. This will be the first and only space on this campus controlled entirely by students for stu- dents. Student control of that building will mean that key decisions about food services, study space, pub space, retail space and more will be in our hands... It will mean that holding liquor-licensed events on campus will be cheaper and easier. It will mean that Aramark won't hold a monopoly on food service unless we want them to. It will mean that students can operate a convenience or general store (Rez-rats! Imagine not having to hike 20 minutes up to Centennial Plaza for a bag of milk!) or a barbershop, or a proper restaurant, or a billiards hall, and the list goes on. We, the students, have paid for this with a hefty student-levy. It will be ours. And SCSU will be the managing organization for this multi- million dollar enterprise. But not only will they be playing with our money, they'll be playing with our reputation. Let’s take a lesson from Erindale students, whose student union botched the finances for their Student Centre and subsequently allowed U of T’s admin- istration to step in and bail them out (and take over the reigns in the process.) Relinquishing student-control of our Student Centre would defeat the original purpose of the whole initiative. SCSU’s role will be integral and the competency of next year’s council is imperative to the establishment of rea/ student space on this campus. In the past, SCSU (formerly SCSC) elections have been a lot of shilling and popularity contests. Paint a big sign, tell the students how devoted you are, smile. Pretty-faces and “St. George Shuttle- Buses” used to be a winning-ticket, that is, if there was even more than one candidate for a given position. Most UTSC students didn't even bother to vote. | won't say that this year will be any different... But | will say that it should be. It has to be. If we put some total nincompoops in those SCSU offices, we might as well just throw that $7000000 for the Student Centre into the trash. If you think that ridiculousness goes on in this school right now, with cramped study spaces and poor food and a pub that doesn't even serve booze, just imagine what it would be like if we built a whole new building and then handed it over to the same jerk-offs currently running the show... Imagine a whole new food-court operated by Aramark’s henchmen... Imagine more empty pub-space... Imagine all that fresh new lounge space filled up with nasty study carrels and dying potted plants... | hope you're scared. | know | am... | hope that you're scared enough to elect a 2003-2004 Scarborough Campus Students’ Union that can make sure that our new student space stays in student hands. If you’re qualified for the job, | hope you'll run. Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief Editorial | Letters Centennial Concerns There have been some concerns about the education at UTSC when Centennial comes in. | agree that we should be concerned, but before | get into this | want to address the issue of the education level at UTSC. The education at UTSC is undoubtedly higher than college education, but is it a U of T education? What do | mean by U of T education? (Scarborough is U of T, is it not?). Well, lets examine this. Are UTSC students able to enroll in all U of T courses? No. Ifa UTSC student happens to complete the requirements for a major or minor at St. George campus will it be recognized by UTSC? No. Do UTSC stu- dents want to take courses at St. George? Yes. Do UTSC students actually take courses at St. George? Very few and with extreme difficulty. Do any St. George students take courses at UTSC? Not that | have ever heard of. It seems to me, that a UTSC education is not really the same as a U of T education. Comparing with UTM (Erindale) they are able to enroll in (as long as there is space) and complete major and minor degrees at the St. George campus. We UTSCers get a UTSC education; we are not able to access all that U of T has to offer. UTSC students are already not getting the full U of T education. We are not able to enroll in all the courses U of T offers but we will soon be able to enroll in college- level courses. Does anyone else see something very wrong with this? Unfortunately, | do not believe there is any thing we can do, other than what | am doing now, complaining. Contracts have already been signed without the consent of UTSC stu- dents. There is nothing we (the students) can do now, it is up the great U of T to maintain its own name and education level. Will UTSC let itself become a synonym for Centennial? As students, we know how easily reputations of schools can go through the mud, but do administrators know? There are many things UTSC can do to maintain and improve the education it offers at UTSC. | would really like to see UTSC encouraging and providing its students with the means (Erindale has a direct bus to St. George) to take St. George courses. St. George offers so many different and interesting courses and programs that UTSC do not offer. As for Centennial, | suggest that UTSC and U of T try to differentiate themselves as much as possible from Centennial and college-level education. This can be done in many ways such as having a cut-off mark for courses taken at Centennial, if students do not reach this cut off then it can not be counted at a university credit. Also developing a very clear concept of what “university education” is, this will be much more difficult and | hope they take the issues | raised about the differences in UTSC and U of T education. | sincerely hope that UTSC gets its act together and will not let this collaboration with Centennial make me lie (even more than | do now) about being a UTSC students to other U of T students. Rowena Wu About the Cover The Underground celebrates its fetish for potty-humour with an entire article devoted to UTSC’s five most prominent restrooms... And an unknown man who chooses his bathroom reading-material wisely. design by: John Loerchner _ write the plays of Shakespecre.” http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd “Letters Wednesday, February 12, 2003 ee a aaa hee ee eae A Late Response to “My Elvish Love” (Vol. 22 Iss. 15) Now | know this is a little late, but without due dates, the threat of failing courses, plummeting GPA’s and the fear of my parents, | don't seem to get anything done within any reasonable amount of time...so-here goes nothing...Satan’s Bakesale, this is for you. It is a response to your article “My Elvish Love”. Now normally | don't reply to anything | read (mainly due to this chronic disease | have — laziocis), however this time | had to. S.B. you've treaded on sacred scripture, well maybe not sacred or scripture, but what the hey. | found it interesting how you were completely taken by the director’s and pro- ducer’s portrayals of Tolkien's characters, | thought you were better than that. You never made any mention of the creators of the movie who strongly influenced the portrayal of these characters and obviously your opinion. | can tell you if | created the movie the characters would have been completely different (as I’m sure would be the case with many other readers). | remember, after reading the books, thinking to myself “wow Gimli is such a strong, rugged and brave character’, never did it cross my mind that he was a clumsy dwarf and it NEVER crossed my mind that the elves were in some way “superior” or even more handsome. To me they seemed kind of flakey (for lack of a better expression). Each member in the cast had its qualities that were both positive and negative, yet your correlation of these fictional characters to races amazes me. It is exactly the problem that is continuously faced by our society...we tend to have a hierarchical value of people, as you clearly demonstrated (and then to blame it on Tolkien, tsk tsk). The last thing | want to mention is how you conveniently used the characters. You seemed to have neglected the Hobbits (the backbone of the story, in my opin- ion), | guess since they didn’t match any thing you thought up of, you felt it better to leave them out (makes your argument more believable | guess), as well as the “tree” folk...oh the poor tree folk. Maybe Tolkien was simply saying that absolute power (represented by the ring) is what will cause the destruction of all, whether they are human or not, but it’s up to the young, smart and brave to do something about it...that's right the university students (represented by the Hobbits just in case it wasn't clear). You wanted to provoke thought and you did it (as | have to say, you usually do... and no that’s not to butter you up so you'll take it easy on me...dig in brother, it’s the only way to be). Satan’s Bakesale keep up the good work, Underground, great job, keep it up! If | find a cure for my iaziocis you might just hear from me again. ivel, just ‘ivel’ Underground: Christian Lucier, in his article “Satanic Verses raises ire” (published in the Underground on February 5, 2003), manages rather admirably to remain neutral on the issue of having a book as “controversial” as “The Satanic Verses” taught at UTSC. He proposes, repeatedly, that we are facing an impasse where no one can win and no one is right. | disagree. The ‘Rushdie Problem’ is a ten-year old issue that is simply part of the literary bag- gage that Muslims carry. Nobody else cares about it anymore. The once hunted author of this blasphemous text now lives in New York and no one has recently ‘attempted to cut off his head. Newsflash: it’s over. Quite frankly, | think people are creating a problem where none exists. As Lucier notes, Professor Neil ten Kortenaar has gone out of his way to make certain that none of his students are forced to read the potentially hurtful material in the novel. Therefore, the question of causing offense to Muslims is moot. We have not heard anything from the MSA regarding the possible war with Iraq that in on the horizon. They are silent about the ruins of Afghanistan and were not moved to say anything about the illegal arrests in the States after September 11. The ever- green Palestine issue also appears to have fallen to the wayside and Kashmir con- tinues to be ignored. Since Islam insists that all Believers are one nation - one organic body, in fact, the entire of which aches if one part is wounded - surely these issues should be more important to them than a single class studying a censored version of The Satanic Verses. (Unless you would stand at a coffee shop and complain about the service while someone was hacking off your limbs). So what | am wondering is why people are wasting their desperate tears and earth- shattering pleas to dredge up buried hatchets while taking gross violations of their fundamental dignities in stride at the time. | admire the enthusiasm and energy involved in making this protest - however, | suggest that it is misplaced. Please, Lucier - do not ever tell people that they should come to UTSC to see diver- sity. They should, instead, come to see Nero fiddle. They should come to see Rome burn. Syed Mushahid Masood Read this letter in your softest, soothingest, therapist voice... (Condescension entirely optional) Re: Exams ar good for weeding out parasites like you (Vol. 22, Iss. 18) Dear William Let me start off by saying that if you’re going to spend an entire article bashing someone, you should not be starting it with “Dear”. Where do you come up with the idea of me being self-absorbed? You should never say something unless you're positive about it, and if you knew who | was, you would have known that | am not self-absorbed at all. If you’re going to spend an article bashing me, at least do your homework first and find out what type of a person | really am. You spent your entire article swearing. Referring to a dictionary and a thesaurus would probably enhance your vocabulary, and aid you in a more appropriate form of expressing yourself. | could write this article just the way you did--with no class, using swear words, because | am fluent in four differ- ent languages and could probably use swear words in all of them in this letter. However, I’m going to be the bigger person and not follow in your rude foot- steps, because |’m sure that you and | can keep this little argument going on for an eternity. | never said that | wanted the world handed to me on a silver platter, and | never said | was blaming my high school for not preparing me for university. This article was not just my view, but the view of many students. Just for the record, | never said | was doing badly in any of my courses, and that | was going to be on academic probation. Furthermore, | came to this school with a scholarship, and | plan on having a very successful academic career. William, the next time you decide to pick up a pen and start writing, you should probably do a bit of thinking, and gather your thoughts. Your article had no point to it. You wanted attention, well you got it, but you didn’t get it in a positive way. People in this school now know your name, but | doubt that after what you wrote they will make an attempt to speak to you. | would have hoped that since you were in the army, your commanding officer would have taught you respect for yourself and for others. Thank you for your opinion. | see where you wanted to go but your approach was wrong. | understand what you were trying to say, however the way you said it defeated what you were trying to get across. It seems to me that you were releasing all of you childish rage onto me. | have got two words for you, William: anger management. Marjan Tehrani mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters | am writing to convey my displeasure with Mr. Hingoo’s review of “Biker Boyz”. | am shocked with his “| would rate porn higher” comment. Mr. Hingoo would have-us believe that pornography is only slightly more entertaining than Biker Boyz. Well | for one am shocked. Pornography not ony gives us hours and hours of top notch entertainment, but it has delievered some great exam- ples of parody. Such examples as Splatman (Batman), Lucy Has A Ball (Il Love Lucy), and the classic foreign film Rising Buns. Mr. Hingoo is attempting to tell you all that these are only slightly better than Kid Rock acting, when they are in fact of a much higher caliber. Concerned and Horny @ UTSC Willam Chow, “Fucking God”? | am rather curious about how you know what kind of action God is getting in the sack. “Wait a minute”. Stupid question - you would know. How else could you be so divinely screwed? | am also worried about how someone who cannot use commas, semicolons or apostrophes was admitted to UTSC. Maybe examinations truly are ineffective. But since you insist that they are not “I am guessing” that while the rest of us may suck at exams, you suck after them. We won't hold that against you - to each his own. Just don't forget to wear kneepads. Meanwhile, if you would take the trouble to learn to express yourself without the use of expletives and an inordinate number of exclamation marks then you might just get some class before 2006. Name Witheld at Request —_—_—_::?: _—”::?? nh eel... nn nn aaa Oe http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ VA The Underground “*)- 2 ‘2. News 50 8a ne ee oe EMPIRE The Ever Expanding Ethos Safa Sabir Educating the activist Streams of people passing through the small spaces of the OISE building downtown, were handed programs and ushered into their journey of ‘knowledge’ via the Pan-Canadian Anti-War Conference. Luggage of students from out of the city was piled into the lobby, reminiscent of an airport terminal. Students of non- Middle Eastern descent wore kaffiyehs of solidarity, animating the conference space. It was a sight to see. |, treet SE eau Reflections and Commentary on The Pan- Canadian Antiwar Conference for one, was moved. The spirit of idealism manifested so fervently might however, make one wonder. Underlying the kaffiyehs of solidarity hides the word of the politically fashionable young‘and restless. That is the word—activ- ism. Activism implies action, but does not necessarily predicate any amount of thought underlying it. Thus, the success of the conference lay in its attempt to move beyond mere activism, by educating conference partici- pants about the meaning of their active protest. Why we protest : Most sensible people are against the blatantly imperialistic regime south of the border, in its overt link to economic supremacy and its massacre of innocent lives. However, awareness is no substitute for under- standing, and jumping to act without thinking mirrors the political climate being pro- tested. To not know what is at stake is precisely what is so often wrong with the lead- ers that we protest. In these protests, our own ignorance should not be tolerated; our passion must be examined. So what is at stake? The relatively informed speakers at the conference filled the room with shocking statistics of the infant mortality rate during the decade of brutal injustice imposed on the Iraqi people sanctions. The socialist structure of Iraq in all its sophistication and efficiency was in fact bombed by the American government so that even desalination and irrigation plants were ruined, destroying infrastruc- ture and creating irreversible dependence. To continue, there were statistics on death, more and more statistics on death. Through all this, | thought about life, and how it definitively became a struggle, and how it was so much easier to talk about death than about dying /ives. The war on Iraq was instated with the imposition of sanctions in 1993. Until recently, these sanctions were never really seen for what they are: a genocide, the sys- tematic elimination of the Iraqi people. The destruction of a people, their ideas and their forms of life is not war, it is kin to an ethnic cleansing of the world. Global issues and their Proximity to Home Lectures on the nature of globalization proved to have their moments of value, when the speaker would enshrine a novel way of seeing the world. Global capi- talism began with slavery, as slaves were historically considered a commodity. Thus it was the first form of globalization, defined in this instance as ‘the free move- To not know what is af stake is precisely what is so often wrong with the leaders that we protest. In these protests, our own ignorance should not be tolerated: our passion must be examined. ment of ‘capital’ from one form of the world to another.’ Slavery was followed by colonialism, or traditional imperialism, another form of globalization. Colonialism through imperial power relationships was where our | idea of empire was conceived. Finally, the empire that currently reigns supreme is that of corporate power in the global frontier. This form of globalization pays homage to the injustice with which globalization first began, and ironically insists on liberation as the primary source of its The same session sought to explain the link between globalization and militarization, discussing the global frontier in which exchange is brutally and primarily monetary. Coercion becomes a necessary http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ News Wednesday, February 12, 2003 a ee EE es Se Ee eee means to erase and redraw boundaries that establish, ironically, ‘free movement’ and even more hauntingly, do not require coercion to maintain their influence once power has been established. The hegemony that haunts us The Canadian hegemonic structure of power impo- sition is no less potent than the American, in terms of the economic brutality it shares with her neighbor. Numerous businesses, here at home, profit from the production and distribution of biological, chemical and physical weapon supplies. The facts were devastating, but even more devastating was that | expected them. Hegemonic power structures however, don’t remain at the level of mere economic exchange and control. This hegemony and its brutality disguises itself in so many forms to this day, as an element of culture, moving far beyond the economic realm. In the history of empire, the construed dichotomies of east and west as documented by Edward Said in much of his critical writings are as relevant to mass media as they are to academia. The construction of power, superiority and inferiority is relevant. A conference of the sort is well intended but perhaps there is a need to remind oneself of the racism that surround certain attempts at help- ing, reforming, and considering others. In what sense do we, as students, consider ourselves leaders? The imperialist powers considered themselves leaders and helpers, construed with self applauding moral responsi- bility to change ways of life. Change must be directed at embracing the possibility of life, lives and living. The risk of overlooking the complexity and totality of issues leads to a misunderstanding that could lead to another version of ‘white-man’s burden’, in the form of ‘North American liberal democratic’. Liberal democracy’s tenants fail to apply when asserting itself. These issues considered, the conference was quite positive in addressing issues on racism, its forms and its relationship to policy. The dialogue that resulted from discussions on race were worthwhile stepping stones to understanding the web of ideals that surround us. Democracy can never pose as the ‘grand finale’ because grand finales arguably do not exist not to mention the processional nature of democracy itself. Yet we sit in the classrooms and use ‘democracy’ to such an extent that perhaps we have to be reminded of the hegemony it asserts upon us, and our view of the world. We will meet again Tired, rekindled spirits were gathered at the end of the conference, in hope that the turnout for the anti-war rally on February 15" would be massive. It seemed to be of common consensus that anti-war sentiments are not loud enough, despite the expanse of the sentiment. Silence perhaps, resonates far more than sound. It leaves a space, that could be filled, that remains unfilled and fulfilled, not to mention loudly so. The word ‘rally’ can mean to make noise, the defeat a silence. However, in destroying such silence we must ensure that our own voices do not echo the senseless, unorchestrated outcry of the powers that be. Protest the regimes you despise, but ask yourself what you act for to discover the possible infiltration of hegemonic cultural systems in your very own —free, liberal and open mind. —re=eeEeee__ | i http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground - News - The Underground visits ArtBar... discovers poetry reading = drunk + pretensious There were elephants, And Brian wanted to eat them, And eat himself too. We were the oldest In the entire café’s crowd; We received odd looks. Victory Café Is host to weekly readings, Richly pretentious. From Ryerson U. There was an odd psych major, Reciting poems. He then proceeded To deconstruct one for us; | gave him cut-eye. He drank his coffee, While pros Brian and Lori Got themselves drunker. It is nice to see Published poets and writers Drinking while reading. A great upholding Of the great Hemmingway’s style; Alcoholic art. Silly amateurs Breaking from stereotypes Drink coffee and fail. So be your writer Come to Victory Cafe, Listen to poets. Drink mucho beero Get on the stage and recite A poem or two. Published poets speak, Then the stage is open mic Every Wednesday night. More information Can be found at the website; Check artbar.org Cee ee eee een ee eee eee eee eee ER IERERE SEES, a ann SE http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ . The News UTSC Pita Pit gets a failing grade ‘cause of hiked prices and costly cheese Monopolies suck. The Pita Pit on Bloor West Has cheaper Pitas. Check it: $4.10 For a Black Forest Ham there; $4.50 at Scar. Monday through Friday They boast a 15% discount For us school children. On a ham pita You save over 60 cents; Cheese is NOT extra. A Pita a day, For ten days, will save six bucks; Free pita and drink! Destroy Aramark, They are thieves and steal from us! Cheese is NOT extra! News Editors got a letter from a deranged fan, fear for their lives dear gordo and dan Q, you crazy bastards. you offend me every day of my life. | c u and want to vomit. especially gor don.stupid angry white american alco holic asshole.the reason that | have decided to compose this email is because i “saw” Gordon in the underground begging, chall enging for somebod y to write hima bout something, anything; and being the nice guy that iam, i wan ted to dignify his comm. ents with a response. so here it is. and if you can guess who this is, you will win my com pany ina chill ing session of your choice (prob ably the next time i see you). sincere ly, a disgusted reader. [The easier to read, un-haikued version of the suspect letter...] dear gordo and dano, you crazy bastards. you offend me every day of my life. ic u and want to vomit. especially gordon. stupid angry white american alcoholic asshole. haha. i’m just joking around anyway. the real reason that i have decided to compose this email is because i “saw” gordon in the underground begging, challenging for somebody to write him about something, anything; and being the nice guy that i am, i wanted to dignify his comments with a response. so here it is. and if you can guess who this is, you will win my company in a chilling session of your choice(probably the next time i see you). i'll even give you some clues. i am also american, i have huge, long curly hair, love getting fucked up ‘round the clock, and my name starts with d and ends with aniel. give up yet? alright man, it's me daniel light, you should remember. so here’s your email, write me one back. sincerely, a disgusted reader US moms and pops tell the kidses to stay here Parents are afeared for their American kids. Go to Canada! Memories of ‘Nam are in the back of men’s minds; This is not our war. My parents called me, “When this war breaks out stay there.” Orders to draft dodge. So, dear Canada, If they reinstate the draft, I'm hiding out here. Eating Disorder Week looked kinda thin (Get it? Thin! Ha!) next to Christ Awareness Week Eating Disorder Awareness Week promotes Image acceptance. Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binging are all disorders. You know what they are, And the keen eye will see its Prevalence at Scar. Christ Awareness Week Was held conspicuously In the Meeting Place, While one small health booth Was set into the corner | News — Wednesday, February 12, 2003 ee ee ere Oe, | Wednesday, February12) 2008 Next to the Bookstore. Time is running out for Green Paper consultations strative Council (SAC) A message to you: Provost Neuman has and the Scarborough Campus Grotesquely skinny is an had a strong response from the Student Union (S Applicable phrase University CSU) have sub- To many of you. community dur- mitted position papers You can be far too skinny, ing her Green Paper consul- to Plan two-thousand And | don't like it. tations. More than one- three. Find SCS- Angry gay protesters beaten and jailed thousand have attend U's at the website below. when protest gets violent, San Fransisco ed the Town Hall meetings she We couldn't find SAC’s has thrown; word has it February sixth, online... Hey jerks? How San Francisco: a peaceful that the meetings have ‘bout making your website ac- Gay Shame protest failed. been full of “rousing discus- cessible? (Two, three.) sion” and fine, fine su- Protestors gathered . Http co- Outside the LGBT ggestions. [insert num- lon // double- Resource Center there, ber of remaining sessions u w doub- here] remain before Protesting Newsom, le-u.ut The San Fran district two the submissions, i- sc.utoronto Board Supervisor, deas and suggestions will be .ca/ compiled to draft a And his policies, little-squiggly-thing Including a war against white paper for the scsu/news City homelessness. University’s new Ac- /greenpapers ademic Plan. You The protest then turned response.sh Violent; several protestors may still make written tml (four, five, six, eight, Were beaten and jailed. submissions to the process one, two, three, four, five) to (two, three, four, five) Gay Shame, a far left (or: http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~scsu/news/greenpape Gay Rights extremist group, who plan2003@utoronto.ca (not really haikuizable) See why | didn’t In the fight against before Friday, Feb- Try to haikuicise the ot- Globalization, and are ruary 14. Both the her e-mail address? Disgusted by Pop Students Admini- Gay “Pride” groups who are Obsessed with consumciist Gordon Lane and (sometimes, but mostly not) Dan Sharpe “pride’ crap,” says Gay Shame. News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com the 2003 Awards of EEX GebsIGIcEsN: Geb RN seVeleen ese le Yee) eee lek) IN” TC) Applications are now being accepted for the JOHN H. Moss SCHOLARSHIP A prize of up to $16,650 is awarded to a graduating University of Toronto Arts & Science student who demonstrates outstanding academic achievement and extra-curricular leadership. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 PM. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 34 Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda-wells@utoronto.ca _ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 9 tT he Underground Arts Keith Friedlander Arts Editor &< Oo Tomorrow, this year’s campus symposium will start up in the Student Village Center. It will be a two-day affair known as Diaspora: Mapping Community Across Borders. The organizers within the faculty have done an excellent job gathering a wide range of speakers and the six panel discussions will cover a variety of perspectives and topics concerning diaspora within our own society. Organized by members of the Humanities division, the symposium will examine the relation this has on the imagination as linked to literature, history and the arts. — For any who don’t know and are too embarrassed (or lazy) to ask, Diaspora was the dispersion of the Jewish people outside of Israel. The word now refers to the dispersion of any cultural group outside their home- land as well as the community formed by such a people as aresult. Thus it is hard to think of a more appropriate place for such a symposium than our very own campus here in Scarborough. The various panels will be dealing with different perspectives, discussing the experiences of Jewish, African and Japanese diaspora, the impact it has on women within the group, comparing experiences and delving into how they impacted the cultural expres- sions of those groups. The eclectic selection of panel- ists includes such speakers as Norm Ravwvin, Chair of Jewish Studies at Concordia, who will be discussing how the Yiddish language reflects the diasporic, as its use has been sundered following World War Two. Toronto writer Rui Umezawa, who had a public read- ing on campus a few weeks ago, will return to take part in the “Japanese Diaspora” panel, discussing how his experiences in Japan impacted his work. There will also be poetry readings by dub poets Lillian Allen and Clifton Joseph. Both poets are con- sidered main staples of dub poetry, a highly politicized form of reggae poetry that has been set to music. Lillian has spent over a decade and a half writing, publish- ing, and performing her work in Canada, the U.S., and es to UTSC England and currently she is a part time creative writing Pet haath instructor at the Ontario College of Art and Design. Her ; poetry has appeared in several dozen magazines and anthologies and has been played on hundreds of radio stations worldwide. Clifton Joseph is another widely recognized artist, noted foremost for his commentary and performance style that plays off Caribbean hip hop and jazz. Joseph is said to give his work a life of its own, combining its rhythmic tone and his own smart and dramatic delivery. There will also be musical performers in the meet- ing place during the lunch breaks, including the Kekeli African dance and drum ensemble on Thursday and the Japanese drums of Kiyoshi Nagata ensemble. Admission is free, so even if you don’t have time to go to the SVC to listen to the discussions, you can always take a moment to stop and enjoy some cultural enter- — tainment between classes. You can see the entire schedule for the symposium at the Cultural Affairs website: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/ ~cultural/events.htm. The sheer variety and quality of presenters that will be gathering here over the next few days presents a rare treat to those of us that can manage to capitalize on the opportunity. © Speaking of opportunities, the frequency of a cul- tural event this large and positive being provided to us in a local venue is an extremely rare one. This year’s symposium especially could prove to be a fine benefit to those looking to broaden their understanding of how certain different traditions compare in their inundation to our culture. Especially in a city like ours, a chance to explore the effects, consequences and experiences of cultural inundation is one worth pursuing. There is much more going on than could be men- tioned in this article and anyone who is interested in the - topics of discussion owes it to themselves to take full advantage of what promises to be a truly rare, insightful _ and personal meeting of minds. Clockwise from top left: George Elliot Clarke, Afua Cooper, Kerri Sakamoto, Kiyoshi Nagata, Lillian Allen. } uo http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/-undergnd Arts Emotive poetry visits SVC Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Last Wednesday, poet, critic and creative writing teacher Lisa-Moore became the latest writer to grace UTSC for a public reading of her work. Coming on behest of the Literature and Media English course, Moore presented to a small, mixed crowd in the Student Village Center. In honour of the recent produc- tion of Alice in Wonderland she read from a collection of poems she had written while exploring the Alice book series, as well as answering some questions about her experiences as a poet. Her work proved to be an interesting assortment of thought exercises as she considered her own impressions of the char- acter of Alice and explored the inspirations behind the character. Her fluid and alluring style created dim images in the listeners’ mind as she waxed on about Alice, who she was and how might she act in different scenes. She told the assembled crowd about her experience with the Alice books in her youth and her research in discovering the real person that her character had been based on. She read poems pondering on what it would be like for her character to have interacted with other pop icons of her youth, icons like Elvis or Christopher Robin. Her work has a startling quality of communicating and imposing her own curiosity in probing the uncertain impressions she formed of her subject upon the listener. When asked how applying her works to icons of popular culture affected her work, Moore explained the importance of retaining familiar characteristics with which the reader can iden- tify, while delving into her own personal perceptions. Most of the questions that were asked sought Moore’s opinions of the modern mediums for poetry. Her answers were as encouraging as could be expected from a published writer. That is to say she sees the potential for application everywhere and would encour- age others to seek them. | guess one of the things | find frustrating about these kinds of readings is that they mostly just serve to whet my appetite. Having no previous experience with this writer (to which | can only blame myself), | can only begin to get a feel for their style and inspiration, leaving me to seek more on my own. Lisa Moore is one of those writers that | have to add to my list of writ- ers to pursue further (when not drowning in school reading). Along with her poetry, Moore has written two books of stories that came out to acclaim from many Canadian critics. Her more recent publication, Open, is described as being as visceral as her poetry, taking her experiences and communicating them with a strong intimacy of the warmth and ache of the related emotions. Her first publication, Degrees of Nakedness met with equal praise. While I’m not sure how enthused everyone was to be attend- ing the reading for class, | found Moore’s to be one of the more interesting local readings in recent memory. Despite the dis- tracting noise around the Meeting Place, her poetry kept one’s attention rapt. FREE PUBLICITY! We like to support the local indie scene, especially since if we were friends with Ajax residents Sum 41, we'd be riding in limo’s and mackin’ ho’s right now. So if you're in an independent band or musical act from UTSC, please contact us at undergnd @utsc.utoronto.ca. Who knows, maybe you'll be thanking us at, | don’t know, the Junos or something. Ae. »2.-. .http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ (2) == OKO} O} [= (2) ° Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor Before | begin this article, | should probably say that I’m cribbing it from notes that | wrote at this event after drinking several beers, one of which was previously owned by Jan Fowler, host of a show on CBC Radio which | cannot name. Yeah, that’s right, | stole her beer after she left. Half of these notes are proceeded by the word ‘huh?’ Just so you know. While most bands wouldn’t deign to play in someone’s apart- ment, Slutarded isn’t most bands (most bands employ melody and rhythm). The girl-girl-guy trio of musicians brought their brand of spoken-word/punk rock to the confines of a living room last Friday to literally rock the house. Slutarded consists of a girl with glasses on vocals, a girl in a hat on bass, and a guy who looks kind of like Mickey Rourke on drums who is almost as drunk as | am. Their songs are perfect for audience members with Attention Deficit Disorder, the longest being a hard-rockin’ cover of “The Ants Go Marching” which is less than one minute long. My favorite song, which | think is called “Asshole”, consists of a three-note bassline and the singer screaming the word ‘asshole’ over and over again. Another song that | enjoyed, one which | can only assume is for children, contains only the lyrics, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck... YOU!!!” All in all, the six-song display by the band was an eye-opening experience for me. It proved that you don’t need any musical talent, vision, Or Opinion to succeed in the music biz. Oh, sorry, Fred Durst proved that. And it’s not like Slutarded is terribly successful either, since there have been more people in the Underground office today than there were at this show. Meh. Slutarded will be playing a burlesque show on march 13 at lee’s palace with the no-no’s and bangers. Come out, if you want. Wednesday, February 12, 2003 11 The Underground Groundworks Groundworks - H.A.I.K.U (Helping Arms Investigators Kill Undergrads - or an equally clever anagram) CHRISTIAN Winter sucks, its cold Makes me shiver and feel old Do | get free beer? LISA The tunnel is long when do | get to the end? | am still so lost SARAH Ben Affleck is cool George Bush is a smart fellow... For me to poop on. LAURIE (Guest haiku) It's in your armpit the smell that drives me crazy nothing beats B.O. Her secret pleasure ecstasy overtakes her drunk frantic worship SACHIN There’s enough haiku | think I'll take a week off And jerk it instead KEITH | can’t write haiku English majors don’t count well | run out of spa... ANDREW boy, christians love god | love taking a big poop the same thing really justin timberlake, what the hell is wrong with you? michael jackson rules wow, life sure does suck “but | Know one thing for sure legolas is hot some priests touch young boys some people listen to creed the same thing really a dancing robot getting down with his bad self in a porno film | get rather bored think | need a new past-time polygamy, yay! my father is dumb | wish satan was my dad we'd have more money a glass of absinthe even though it’s really fake beats reality a eae ESTEE ETS a Le ee 12 h ttp://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ < Wednesday, February 12, 2003 UTSC Coalition to Stop the War! Students, student groups, staff and faculty at UTSC are coming together in opposition to the war on Iraq by forming a Coalition to Stop the War (UTSC-CSW). So far, several campus clubs such as RESA (Resources for Environmental and Social Action), Womyn's Collective, Muslim Students Association (MSA), as well as the Canadian Federation of Students, have endorsed the coalition. Allother clubs, individual students, staff and faculty are encouraged to join the UTSC-CSW by emailing jointhemovement@end-war.com or by calling 416-286-8705. On February 15 (this Saturday), all students are welcome to join the coalition in a global day of action against the war and for peace. The Coalition is funding two buses which will provide FREE! transportation to and from the rally. The | ' | K N A Si ~ buses leave UTSC at 12:00 noon from the TTC bus stop by the gym and will leave downtown to come home at 3:30 after the rally. Email or call UTSC-CSW to reserve your spot. Et THE WAY Me More y JS AAS EI MAKES Gernze Fy. ) t ¢ Ve! Vuh i il ty: Bo . Torteeed, __ pwns oon cl-undergnl CIV e we ees Te Cras 04g ¢ 4 ‘Feature The Underground Off the beaten (tenure-)track... Demystify in your B-I Jeff Rybak Faculty -- the folks standing at the front of the classrooms and delivering those lectures we sometimes attend -- is an important facet of any University. So have you ever wondered where these people come from, on what basis they are employed and how they are recruited? Tenure, the mystical word, has a great impact on the answers to these questions. The whole idea of tenure can be a confusing one. So here it is, according to U of T: “Tenure... is the holding by a member of the professional staff of the University of a continuing full-time appointment which the University has relinquished the freedom to terminate before the normal age of retirement except for cause and under conditions specified...” Cut away the legalese and what this basically means is that a professor with tenure is guaranteed a job until he or she retires, screws up mightily, or chooses to leave. This is a tradition in aca- demia and it has a few major implications. 1) Professors with tenure are protected from any direct or indirect influence by the University’s administrators and are free to teach and conduct research as they see fit. The idea is to separate the academic from the bureaucratic and preserve the academic credibility of the University. A professor who can't be fired is a pro- Cut away the legalese and what this basi- cally means is that a professor with tenure is guaranteed a job until he or she retires, screws up mightily, or chooses to leave. fessor free to express unpopular ideas and tackle controversial areas of inquiry. 2) Professors with tenure form the backbone of the academic structure of the University. To quote Professor lan McDonald, Associate Dean at UTSC: “The tenure relation- ship is two-way and it’s very easy to look at tenure as being a guarantee of employment for life. In being tenured, a faculty member also accepts a certain number of responsibilities vital to the function of the University.” It's the tenured members of the faculty (and those heading towards tenure) that set the agenda for any particular disci- pline, a requirement of their job. 3) Tenured appointments include a commitment to research as well as instruction. Think of a tenured profes- sor as one part teacher, one part researcher and one part administrator. The quality of that research lends credibility to the institution, gives students the opportunity to be exposed to practicing professionals (as opposed to professional instruc- tors) and at higher levels, the opportunity to be involved with that research directly, which can be vitally important for some career paths. Non-tenured faculty generally don’t pursue research as an aspect of their employment. Tenured faculty are employed on the basis defined above, but some faculty are considered “tenure-track.” Faculty in this situation are guaranteed consideration for eventual tenure. Currently at UTSC, tenure-track lasts for five years. Tenure-track faculty assume all the same responsi- bilities and make all the same commitments as tenured fac- ulty, though they don’t have the academic protection on quite the same level. Of the 202 faculty members that are employed at UTSC on an on-going basis, 146 are either tenured or tenure-track. The remaining are either lectur- ers or tutors. The terms of their employment are less distinct, but they are faculty employed on an on-going basis, but ineligible for tenure. Then there are teaching assistants (TAs). UTSC alone employs 210 TAs. This figure includes TAs that are employed to grade papers, but also includes those that we may sometimes assume are profes- sors. Any member of faculty that is still working on his or her PhD, but is employed in some capac- ity is considered a TA, even if that person is teaching an entire course. That's right. Some courses are taught by TAs. “The University is particularly anxious that PhDs should com- plete their degrees as fast as possible rather than be teach- ing courses,” says Professor McDonald. The role of TAs is a valued and necessary one, and an important avenue of career development for such students, but there is always the danger that any TA with too much teach- ing responsibility might focus on that to the detriment of his or her research. Much as | respect the sentiment expressed by Professor McDonald, | can't help thinking that getting a TA to handle an entire course is an awfully cheap way to get it taught. Just another way that cash-strapped disciplines can stretch their funding a little bite further. Finally there are Contractually Limited Term Appointments (CLTAs). These are the office-temps of the academic world and_ they end up getting the short end of the stick a lot of the time. Whenever a discipline either can't fill a position, or doesn't have the money to fill it with a cc ee coe chttp:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 14 — - Feature tenured appointment, they go out and find someone to sign a short-term contract. Professor McDonald couldn't offer a firm estimate about how many we might have here at UTSC, but credible sources suggest that it may be 70-90 during any given year. These are professors with a completed PhD, fully quali- fied, yet without the protection of tenure, the responsibilities and commitments that come with it, or the additional man- date to conduct research. U of T is currently in the process of debating the Green Papers, which is the earliest step in developing a plan for the next five years for the University. The papers can be found online at www.utoronto.ca/plan2003/ green.htm. Two major issues concerning faculty are under discussion -- tenure-track pro- gression and the idea of “teach- ing-stream” members of faculty. In the instance of tenure- track positions, an interesting trend is noted. Of the junior faculty hired into tenure-track positions at U of T, over 95% are ultimately offered tenure, compared with 45-60% at other public research universities. So why the disparity? Professor Russel Brown, Discipline Representative for English at UTSC, offers the following insight: “At U of T we interview potential faculty exten- sively. They visit with us for two days, conduct a lecture, may offer a teaching presentation, TOWN HALL MEETINGS ON AC Friday, January 10, 2003 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm Innis College, Town Hall, Room 112 2 Sussex Avenue Tuesday, January 14, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am Medical Science Building MacLeod Auditorium, Room 2158 1 King’s College Circle Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm Victoria University Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street and will meet with the faculty and graduate students in their discipline. We take great pains to find the best people to begin with, so it’s no wonder we retain them.” He contrasts this with practices ar Harvard, Princeton and other prestigious universi- ties, where tenure-track faculty might be hired after a two-hour campus visit. Promising junior faculty are hired in bulk and culled ruthlessly. Professor Brown does support the pro- posed extension of the tenure- track process, from five years to seven, with the aim of allowing junior faculty to more firmly establish their research, with more support and less pressure to produce immediately results to justify the looming question of tenured appointment. Neither Brown nor McDonald feels that the rate of tenure-track success at U of T reflects a lower stan- dard, or should be interpreted as such. The second major issue under discussion is the growing prevalence of “teaching-stream” appointments at U of T and within universities in general. This is a significant develop- ment for any student interested in cutting edge research or con- cerned about the prestige of that University of Toronto degree. Teaching-stream faculty teach, but are not expected to conduct research. The introduction of the formal faculty positions of “Lecturer” and “Tutor” are a step in that direction. The Green Papers call for additional steps to further incorporate teaching- stream professors into the U of T faculty. But there are some ques- tions worth asking: Who do we want teaching our classes? Will we be better off with a tenured professor than with someone who is _ still technically a TA? How about some- one who is only here on a one year contract? Is it better to be instructed by actively researching professors? Or lecturers who have built a career in aca- demia through teaching-ability rather than practical applica- tion? Professor Brown makes an important point: “The University of Toronto is a research univer- sity. The needs of a research institution, and the kind of edu- cation a student will receive at one, differ significantly from what one would find at a smaller, teaching university or college. Each has its place, but they are not equivalent.” The consultation process for the Green Papers continues until Friday, February 14, 2003. You may still send you input to plan2003@utoronto.ca. PLANNING The Provost’s Office launched the next academic planning process in mid December by posting “green papers” at http://www.utoronto.ca/plan2003. A “green paper” is issued for a consultative phase that precedes the drafting of a planning or policy document. The “green paper” phase of planning aims to elicit campus-wide discussion about priorities for the next academic plan. The green papers have also been published in the January 13" issue of the Bulletin. Wednesday, February 12, 2003 aa ae eer ee ee ee ei Oe Wednesday, Febmuary:12) 2008 INN OAV ICG During January and February, Provost Shirley Neuman will be holding a series of Town Hall meetings to discuss the “green papers”’. This is an opportunity for all members of the University community to contribute their ideas and their sense of priorities to the academic planning process. Please encourage your faculty colleagues, and your graduate and undergraduate students to attend one of these meetings and please attend yourself. All members of the University—students, faculty, staff and alumni—are strongly encouraged to participate in one or more of these fora to share their questions, ideas and responses with each other and the Provost. Following this consultation, a draft academic plan for the 2003-2009 period will be drafted. It will be circulated for further discussion before being taken to Governing Council in late spring. The calendar for the Town Hall meetings follows: Thursday, January 16, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am Auditorium, Room 1160 40 St. George Street Monday, January 20, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University College Room 140 15 King’s College Circle Friday, January 24, 2003 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm University of Toronto at Mississauga Matthews Auditorium Kaneff Centre, Room 137 3359 Mississauga Road North ' http://www.utsc.utoronto:ca/~undergnd/ Bahen Centre Information Technology Monday, January 27, 2003 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm Trinity College George Ignatieff Theatre 15 Devonshire Place Wednesday, January 29, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am St. Michael’s College Alumni Hall, Room 100 121 St. Joseph Street Friday, January 31, 2003 10:00 am - 11:30 am 25 Wilcocks Street Earth Sciences Centre, Room 1050 Monday, February 3, 2003 9:00 am - 10:30 am OISE/UT Auditorium, Room G162 252 Bloor Street West Wednesday, February 5, 2003 3:00 pm - 4:30 pm University of Toronto at Scarborough Humanities Wing, 2™ floor, Room 216 1265 Military Trail Friday, February 14, 2003 10:00 am- 11:30 am New College Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016 30 Wilcocks Street The Underground oppress / v. tr. 1 To keep in subservience by coercion. oppression / n. a ee Ee LL ee http:/www-utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : 16 Ff OWT wh oi pa! “Arts — Before coming to UTSC, I would automatically associate the word ‘oppression’ with the 3rd world, or with problems that don’t directly affect me every- day, such as homelessness. 2 Govern harshly; keep down unjustly or by cruelty. 3 To weigh down Yet, after reading a number of articles, within this very newspaper, about the UTSC community (or as some would say the lack thereof) | was surprised to learn about the immense amount of oppression occurring within this “institution of learning.” Of course | had always expected the highly spoken of oppression of a professor looking down upon their students, but as | began to speak to more and more people and became involved with some of the clubs on campus, this feeling of oppression came closer and closer to my home and to my heart. | thought a university should be leading social change in areas such as the LGBTQ movement, gender equality, and cultural acceptance and harmony; | was surprised that this was nowhere near the truth and in some cases movement was actually going backwards. Now, | could go on about these problems like so many before have, yet the point of this article is to give some hope, new insight and solutions out there so that these problems can be put to an end within this campus So, the question becomes “What can we do?” and a solution is as simple as, PARTICIPATE. Starting February 24 2003 until February 28, (the week after reading week) every single UTSC student has been given the opportunity to participate in SAC’s annual Expressions Against Oppressions Week. It is a week of activities where you can say what you think, say how you feel and gain some knowledge on issues concerning all UTSC students. Activities will include a Town Hall Meeting set up by UTSC’s RESA (Resources for Environmental and Social Action) to discuss the issue of racism on campus and a film screening that will depict some of the present oppressions occurring within the world. Also an artistic showcase of the way that hatred is literally ‘engraved’ and ‘craved’ onto UTSC will take place in the Meeting Place as well as a way to help ‘sand down’ the problem. The last day of the week will also be dedicated to the threat of war in Iraq. Set up by the Womyn's Collective and RESA, a panel of speakers including Express yourself; Don't oppress yourself! pressions Against Oppressions Week returns to UTSC Jessica Mustachi (with cares or unhappiness, ( Oxford English Dictionary) Anna Willets from Women Opposing War Everywhere, will be providing information on the war and take a deeper look into the oppression which would occur both in Iraq and in Canada if a war with Iraq is initiated. Occurring also this year in conjunction with Expressions Against Oppressions Week is the new and much anticipated festival put together by the Womyn's Collective called Grrrfest! Tackling issues of oppression which womyn face within UTSC and the world, Grrrifest is an open environment where the much-neglected issue of gender can finally take the forefront within the UTSC environ- ment. The excitement begins on Feb 24 with ‘Grrrl Fair’ in the Meeting Place where booths will be set up concerning issues such as body image, eating disorders, queer womyn, and anti-sweatshop and anti-war informa- tion. As well, there will be mural painting, T-shirts for sale , book raffles and free stick- ers and handouts of the official Grrrifest zine. Throughout the rest of the week seminars will take place on everything from ‘What to do with a Women’s Studies Degree?’ to a ° Healthy Relationship Workshop’ and a “Do-it- Yourself Media Workshop.’ On Tuesday night February 25, starting at 6 in the SVC Grrrifest presents, ‘Grrrl Unplugged’ bringing together womyn artists from around T.O. for a night to empower and inspire womyn and allies. With live womyn music, spoken word, dance and free food and a special keynote address on “Feminism and Today” by Prof. Lynda Lange. This night will surely be a night to remember in the UTSC books. Expressions Against Oppressions Week is for sure going to be an event not to be missed. For complete details of all the activi- ties going on within Expressions against Oppressions Week keep a lookout for upcom- ing flyers with room, date and time info. For complete details for Grrrifest events check out the schedule below and forthcoming pam- phlets. Please note some items are subject to change. 1 The act or fact of oppressing; burdening. 2 The state of being oppressed; burdened. 3 Cruel or unjust treatment. 4 mental distress. (Oxford English Dictionary) Columns | Frog in My Throat crazy but there is I've Fttied on at them makes m believé ee ve shapes Sot resembles the cu so sexy to men. It that the stiletto or t is the literal and metaphorical weapon of choice for many a woman. Created in the 1950's, these wicked shoes replaced the chunky styles of the 1940’s in order to compliment the baby booming optimism found in 1950’s post-war America. The social role of the 1950’s housewife was to personally mirror the perfection she created in her household. As a result, our proverbial June Cleaver was left to do the cooking, cleaning and housework all while looking good doing it -- the stiletto was just part of the territory -- and what a territory it was! Similarly, advertisements talian “little dagger” Frog in my Throat r stiletto heels in the fifties embraced power of the shoe, deflecting the ogy of the shoe back onto the target et. Such slogans as “send them [sti- off to conquer’, “designed to win don't think that the relationship between adver- tiser and “woman as consumer” has ever evolved. Cosmetics, plastic surgery and fad diets all promise women a perceived power that comes along with the creation and maintenance of socially constructed notions of the “perfect” body. Nothing has changed. But, | digress. I’m leaving my can of worms ajar on this one. Now, back to this stiletto business. | still have to wonder how the heck women ever managed a home successfully with “and meals. stilettos on! My feet hurt just thinking about it. My mother has said, on numer- ous occasions, that is just the way it was and that her feet adapted to it. | don’t buy it. What kind of power do you have if your footing isn’t sturdy while vacuuming UP a flight of stairs? The power to watch grav- ake its course and see you fall on ass, | say. Food for the soles, now! me Nike runners any day....... O.K. Maybe not Nike, but you know what | mean. | guess what I’m really getting at is that my feet are not made for heels. My toes look like little gnocchi and my feet are too wide for the slender, sleekness of the stiletto. It's been a hard road trying to come to terms with this, people -- NOT! Even regular heels give me grief. | will never forget my first pair of heels. They were thick, a whole two inches high and were bought to match the light pink outfit | wore for my fifth grade Confirmation ceremony. | practiced walking in them for the 2003 Awards of IEXCELLENCE, UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Wednesday, February 12, 2003 The girl. with: low and: ‘sensible: heels is likely to | pay for her bed Saturday Evening Post a whole two weeks but to no avail. They were the most uncomfortable things in the world and | thought that | would never be able to fully renounce Satan with them on. Thankfully, | did. | then proceeded to my Confirmation dinner, barefoot and in praise of God. So | don’t wear stilettos. Does that make me any less attractive? Hell, no. The way | see it, my back will still be intact when | am old and grey. At least | will be able to glide like Ginger in my Fred’s embrace well into my 90’s while ex-trendsetters sit on the sidelines at the old folk’s home in search of Ben Gay. | want to pay for my bed and meals until my last dying breath. | would have it no other way. Mamma always needs a new pair of shoes minus the headaches. Question: Does anyone out there like/dislike looking at or wearing stiletto heels? Why? Write me at: ramundelmundo@yahoo.ca The University of Toronto Alumni Association invites nominations for: FACULTY AWARD A $1,000 prize recognizing excellence in teaching, research and professional endeavours. CHANCELLOR’S AWARD A $1,000 prize for outstanding contributions by an administrative staff member. JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD A $1,000 award to a student, alumnus/a, http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ administrative staff or faculty member who has made a significant contribution to improving the quality of academic or extra- curricular student lifeon campus. LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUs MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE A $1,500 prize recognizing positive and lasting contributions to education and action in the fight against discrimination. Faculty, staff and students may be nominated for this award. DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: MONDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. For further information or nomination forms, please contact your college registrar or the Division of University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor Tel: (416) 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca 17. The Underground _Life SCSU Elections — Listen Up! Christian Lucier Life Editor Throughout the school year, the Underground has received numerous complaints pertaining to campus life. These complaints have ranged from the lack of activities on campus to blunt statements about how UTSC sucks in general. Well, now is the time to start paying attention, now is the time where changes can be made, and now is the time where we, the student body, have the opportunity to partake in redefining UTSC for next year. The Scarborough Campus Student Union (SCSU) elec- tions are about to get underway! Next year is a big year for UTSC, bigger then previous years. There will be a number of new facilities opening next year, as well as a drastic increase in enrollment due to the double cohort. UTSC will need a competent SCSU staff more then ever. The maximization of facility use is a must as well as is provid- ing engaging activities for the new, con- siderably larger, student body. Whoever is elected for SCSU next year will have to be prepared for a demanding and time consuming job. It will certainly be no walk in the park. Surprisingly, SCSU_ elections on campus are not that big of a deal. There are roughly 6500 students on campus, and approximately 200-250 students voted last year. Shocking, is it not? It appears as though most students do not care about who is on the commit- tee, and others cannot be bothered to vote. Considering the role of SCSU on campus, it is surprising that a larger por- tion of the student body does not follow the campaigns and vote for the best- suited candidates, for whoever is elected will make decisions that effect the aver- age student in one way or another. SCSU performs a number of tasks on campus. Some of their duties include organizing and running frosh week, establishing the clubs on campus, and arranging various pub nights. There are also representatives for each faculty on SCSU. In other words, SCSU does a number of things on campus, so it is crucial that we have the most qualified 15 people for the job. In some ways, it is understandable ag to why the student body pays little atten- tion to SCSU. Each year is the same as the last, if not worse. Our events:run'like clockwork; frosh opens up the year, pub’ nights follow infrequently, the fash show takes place, and the year Is closed with the formal dance. True, there are events that take place in-between the ones mentioned above, but they are weakly publicized, and furthermore attended by few. It as though SCSU cannot escape from this repetitive dull cycle we like to call the school year. No wonder SCSU is having trouble captur- ing the attention of the student body. We have all gone off and done our een thing. It is time we start paying-atterition lon" the elections though. UTSC is undergo- ing a facelift, and in the years to come, we will hardly recognize .it. Times are changing, and UTSC will no longer be what we once thought it was. With the new facilities and students coming to UTSC next year, we have another chance to revolutionize the campus. A renewed relationship with SCSU could be quite beneficial. If you thought our social activ- ities sucked this year, vote for a Social Activities Officer with new and ingenious ideas. If you don't think we have enough clubs on campus (which | highly doubt), get a new Clubs Officer. SCSU is out to make, our lives on campus a lot better, and withe any input, performing their D endidate with the coolest or funniest posters. The student body should listen * and act with an understanding of what is to come. | have to mention one crucial mistake the current staff of SCSU made this year, in hopes that they will rectify it next year. MAKE ENOUGH AGENDAS FOR THE STUDENT BODY! | went to the SCSU Office a month after school started, and was told that they were out. Every stu- dent is entitled to an agenda, are they not? If so, who the hell got mine? | want it back. Thess wt@adline. for nominees is es February 13. In order to be a nominee, you have to fill out an application and obtain the required signatures for that position. Representatives need a mini- mum of 25 signatures, while Officers, Vice-Presidents, and President posi- tions need at least 35 nominations. | am going to make a personal effort to try and promote the elections this year. The candidates will be made known and their intentions presented clearly, so that we might actually have an election. Stay tuned... Jem ys in the it = Sona ed fe ce SHEE L — call us at 416-287-7054 — email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Send us a letter short story, an i y att. Just make sure 1S aigry ch fel.) — or leave us an angry post-it note on our office door at $364 (that’s right, it’s a portable...) 18 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Bs : Life Wednesday, February 12, 2003 ——————— a NES, FODrUAry 12, 2003 Your Safety and Responsibilities during Fire Alarms and Evacuations at UTSC By Cpl. Chris Moy The UTSC Guide to Crisis Response and Management has been designed to provide a basic manual for the UTSC community in order to plan for campus emergencies. While this Guide does not cover every conceivable situation, it does supply the basic structure and guidelines necessary to cope with most campus emergencies. It can be viewed in its entirety on the UTSC Police website at: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~police It is mandatory that all University buildings be evacuated upon the continuous sounding of the building fire alarm and/or upon noti- fication by the University Police. a ee ee ee All fire alarm signals are to be interpreted as indicating an emergency that requires the evacuation of all buildings. Never assume that a fire drill is in progress. ——— ee ee ee ea ee Students: - Proceed to the nearest exit and distance themselves from the buildings. - Do not stand near windows or in vestibules. - Keep a safe distance from all structures. Faculty, Staff and Librarians: - Ensure the orderly evacuation of students and staff members under their care. - On encountering a fire, proceed to the nearest alarm station and operate the alarm. - Only try to extinguish a fire only if you feel competent to do so and are not endangered. If the fire is beyond your control pro- ceed to the nearest exit. - Assign assistance for any occupants incapable of walking out of the building during an evacuation. The senior person present (faculty, chair, department head, staff person, etc.): - Know the location of every alarm signal, traffic route, stairwell and exit that will be used by the students and staff under your supervision. - Be responsible for the discipline of the class to ensure as orderly and panic-free an evacuation as possible. - Ensure all persons have left the room. - All doors are closed, but not locked. - Professors and Instructors of all classrooms and laboratories should shut off any gas or electrical equipment, if possible, when the alarm is sounded. - See that classroom or lab doors are closed when leaving the room, but not locked. This will allow for an easy search by Police or Fire Officers. When the alarm ceases, do not re-enter the building until informed to do so by the UTSC Police or Fire Officer. Coming soon to No Cover. 4576 Kingston Rd. (just east of Morningside) 416-284-1978 sus UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO AT SCARBOROUGH Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at 7:30 p-m. The Meeting Place, UTSC 1265 Military Trail (South of Hwy 401 at Morningside) Featuring | Preston Manning “Changing the National Agenda” Sponsored by Call 416-287-7115 or fe) Meloche Mennex © mail: joyce@utsc.utoronto.ca for more information Admission Free — Everyone Welcome It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girl http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 The Underground -swei So muchJokes! | Oh, Pee Pee ven 2 ree (Nef Te sceaé) R-Wing Locker Rooms - “Oh, Pee-Pee (Yeah You Know Me)” Women's Cleanliness clean with minimal debris on floors TP Supply good Soap Supply good Grafitti none .- Odor none Seat Conditions clean Handi-Space accessible This bathroom was probably my favourite. it was really clean and didn’t leave you feeling dirtier on the way out than you did going in. Men's Cleanliness POOR, except for the sinks, which are okay TP Supply great Soap Supply enough for all Grafitti none Odor RANK Seat Conditions not great, some stailis Handi-Space accessible In addition to the normal bathroom odours, the Rec. Centre washroom adds the spicy — scent of sweat to the mix, creating a cocktail of stink previously unheard of at UTSC. There The Joker’ Ss Den | xe pRinaAl ER AARTT) H-Wing - “The Joker’s Den’ Women's _ Cleanliness sinks had some soap resi- due on them: TP on the floor TP Supply not bad Soap Supply plentiful Grafitti none Odor none. Seat Conditions good Handi-Space’ accessible Not too bad considering it’s in such an out of the way place. But again, there are only 2 stalls and one handicapped stall, making for frequent line-ups. Men's Cleanliness poor, the sinks and floor are quite dirty TP Supply egal sedeae IP equal | litter for all Soap Supply plenty Grafitti Yes! Peay ao isciean are four urinals to choose from, separatedinto ro, two groups of two at either end of the room, as well as several (dirty) stalls. The sinks are clean, but there is residue inside and outside of the toilets and paper all over the floor. One th student quips, ‘this bathroom stinks like pee ALL THE TIME.” (the emphasis Is his). Not. for the weak. However, if you're in the gym, there’s few alternatives. Suck it up, fatty. , 20 < oo. ceivably Need Seat Condition: Aottind nee this toilet a S-Wing - ‘The Depositories” Women's Cleanliness some garbage and dint on the floor, but otherwise fairly clean TP Supply good Soap Supply plentiful Grafitti none Odor not pleasant but not foul Seat Conditions spotty, pepsi only water droplets Handi-Space one stall This bathroom has only three stalls, which means there are frequent line-ups, especially right before classes. However there is a large mirror/vanity area, perfect for the crush of grooming girls. Cadillac : of shit Men's | Cleanliness great, med for a guy's washroom. ule Supply bountiful - Soap Supply more than! you could con- Grafitti. none 7 Odor Eegule nice, actual | a ee http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ _ Washroom Reviews! Wednesday, February 12, 2003 (Nor To ScHLe ) washroom, eae .....|.-—h6mpsp6 Cleanliness: Ick. | ef Grafitti none TP Supply almost fod much, ‘it's all over Odor none | - the floor (savages!) __ Seat Conditions aele _ ‘Soap Supply again, too much. There's Handi-Space accessible a residue on the sink. That'd better be soap. This washroom has a style all its own. Grafitti some, but illegible The first thing you notice | is the foyer’, a little - Odor like awallofstink _ _ room that you have to go through in order Seat Conditions put some paper down to get down to the actual business of the fit rst _ washroom, — Then you notice the foot wash- ‘Handi-Space- “only. one stall, ‘and its ing station, with cute barstools to facilitate accessible _ such washing needs. As far as we can tell, Like the female counterpart there is ony it's the urinals So ething off-putting, m, | ee it’s Set erie ae there ee mirror over the foot-wash_ station? ir A but if vou can es make You can clearly look down and see your feet. such a mystery, then i geese yOu peiey the See room, , Sherlock. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ SSS - enced « any / of his m myself. however: Why 3 are there no mirrors over two of the sinks, vet SACHIN: ue eecitians of guy’ Ss ‘eat rooms are generally quite low, having come from a high school where a day without blood in the sinks was a pretty. good day. If noth- ing else, you have to. hand it to the UTSc maintenance staff for being on top of the toilet paper and soap situations, as there is always an abundant supply. If some of this TP/soap distribution manpower could be diverted to cleaning up the floors and stalls in some of however, we might have a hap- ssibly more fegu lar) school. Also, *XCUSE for using. the term ‘water 1 this country. It’s a bathroom, or in washroom, dammit. But if you want my ane ant have to go with the palatial S-Wing washroom. Spacious, plenty of privacy, and clean asa whistle. _tdeal for students, ae and Burt But if you were looking for a place to ponder Hs . ‘Note: Diagre ams of women’s washrooms are lacking oo that women cannot read maps ayn ail The Underground Life + University of Toronto at Scarborough Police » Summary of INCIDENTS GrrlFest is a four day event that will include workshops on topics such as abusive relationships, culture jamming, the media, female self-defense, anti-oppression and other awesome topics. University of Toronto at Scarborough Police 1265 Military Trail, Toronto, ON M1C 1A4 Telephone: (416) 287-7398 Fax: (416) 287-7641 E-Mail: police@scar.utoronto.ca We will also be promoting awareness of women and feminist issues through our festival day in the meeting place with the distribution of flyers, a GrrlFest zine, and silk-screened t-shirts as well as SUMMARY OF INCIDENTS doing fun activities such as mural - painting and having a chill zone. a a | sneer eee stigated a potor vehicle to attend ees Reporting Jan. 30/03 @ 1:20 pm; UTSC Police ane Centre. Sena The organizers of GrrlFest are seeking an artist in need of funding for any type of project. The recipient will receive the proceeds from t-shirt sales and a raffle though the grant amount is yet to be determined. Women and transfolk may apply by submitting a brief proposal outlining your project and the costs it will entail. This can be submitted to grrrifest@hotmail.com no later than February 14th. Please include your email address. Jan. 31/03 @ 1:43 pm; An o fa against 4 UTSC student was rep ff Jan. 31/03 @ 3:39 pm; AU aSC studegt feported the theft of oropert the Athletic Centre male chpinge roomy Value approx. $50. a + 10) fer a = = [e) 3 Jan. 31/03 @ 10:00 pm; isc Polige E investintad a report of damage to property on the 6th floor | the te Buildings#ldamage approx. 5 ae ee eee ee es responded to a medical transported to hospital f Feb. 04/03 @ 9:30 am; A female UT; i word of the week! property from a Bladen Building study area. Value approx. “618 85. | a hi Cc studely was issued a Provincial ‘Oe nc Feb. 04/03 @ 1:40 pm; A Notice for a driving offence. 1. Not proceeding from the true or claimed source, not genuine; false. 2. Of illegitimate birth. the 2003 Awards of on gern, EXCELLENCE) v. UENGLYV ERS: Y.-OlF =1 OOO Applications are now being accepted for the NORTHROP EF RYE AWARDS The University of Toronto Alumni Association is pleased DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: once again to join the provost in sponsoring ee Nomi Enea de Monpay, DECEMBER 2, 2002, 5 P.M. One individual prize ($2,000) will be awarded to a faculty member who demonstrates innovative and exemplary ways of For further information or nomination forms, please linking teaching and research. contact your college registrar or the Division of One divisional prize ($6,000) will be awarded to a faculty, University Advancement, J. Robert S. Prichard Alumni llege, school or d 1% : COURS Seo PISS E aerveae House, 21 King’s College Circle, 3“ Floor. Tel: (416) ey: extraordinary curriculum innovation aimed at strengthen- ing the link between teaching and research. 978-6536 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca nc eT ee SST.) Ra re pf hgh http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Ha is i cee fi ‘if you, knowlof an eve Ce z let yal by sending an email with Wednesday, February 12 26ffs might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Feb 12 Ice sculptures... on the sidewalk. At 100 Cumberland Street, downtown. 10am to 5pm. Feb 12 The Watts Lecture! feat. Preston Manning - 30th annual Watts Memorial Lecture will be held in the Meeting Place from 7:30pm until 9pm. Free. Feb 12 Free Movie Night! Showing the documentary of the students’ strike at the National Autonomous University of Mexico. Featuring a guest speaker who participated in the ten-month strike. 7pm at Sid Smith Hall, 100 St. George Street, Room 1085. Info: 416-832-4932 Feb 12 AIDS VOLUNTEERING Info session. 6-7:30 pm. Free. ACT, 399 Church. 416-340-8484 ext 224. Feb 12 INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY Planning meeting. 6-8 pm. Free. Women Working with Immigrant Women, 489 College. 416-963-4420. Feb 12 LEE BUL -- LIVE FOREVER Talk by new media curator Kathleen Pirrie Adams. 6:30 pm. $4, stu/ srs $2. Power Plant, 231 Queen's Quay W. 416- 973-5272. FEB 12 ART BAR POETRY Evening of erotica hosted by Sharon Singer. 8 pm. Free. Victory Cafe, 581 Markham. www.artbar.org FEB 12 DIANA: A DIARY Gutter press launches an erotic novel by Diane _ Savage. 6-9 pm. Free. Lava Lounge, 507 College. 416-877-0269. Feb 13 LIFE IN THE SO-CALLED SPACE AGE Grand Opening. DJ Lazarus presents futurepop, ebm, and retro in the main room while Phink spins _ electro and psy trance in the back. $2.50 _ domestics all night. Free. ZEN Lounge _ (526 Queen St. W.) Feb. 13 SCSU Spring Election _ Nomination Period - Closes ittp://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Feb. 13 Mosaic Culture Show Feb 13 Toronto Streets Renamed. Help rename some of the city’s streets. 6:30pm. Metro Hall, 55 John Street, Room 308/309 (3rd Floor). Feb 13 Music and Poetry! Noon. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen's Park Cres., Walter Hall. Free. Info: 416- 978-3744 Feb 13 ACTIVIST SKILLS WORKSHOP -- FAIR TRADE VS FREE TRADE. 5-7 PM. FREE. OPIRG, 563 SPADINA. 416- 978-7770. Feb 13 NICHOLSON BAKER READS FROM HIS NEW NOVEL, A BOX OF MATCHES, AND IS INTERVIEWED BY IAN BROWN. 7:30 PM. $8. BETTY OLIPHANT THEATRE, 404 JARVIS. 416-973-4000 Feb 13 Telethics for Telepresence: The Ethics of Immersive Virtual Environments. 4pm, Bahen Centre, Room 1190. info@kmdi.utoronto.ca Feb 13-14 Diaspora: Mapping Community Across Borders. Various locations at UTSC. Free. Feb 14 Town Hall on Academic Planning 2003, w/ Shirley Neuman! 10am New College, 30 Willcocks Street. Wilson Hall Amphitheatre, Room 1016. Feb 16 Muslim Ladies Formal Dinner and Talent Night. Info: mb.ahmad@utoronto.ca Feb 16 from 1-5PM--Curling Bonsptiel- -The Boulevard Club, 1491 Lake Shore Blvd. West, Toronto. A four hour curling event for non-curlers and experienced curlers alike. Equipment provided. Dress Warm. $50.00 per person. All proceeds support Student Life Education Company. Contact: Jen: 416-243-1338 Feb 17 6--8:30PM--South Asian Cooking for Your Heart Series. Knox Christian Centre, 2575 Midland Aveneue. Come and learn about healthy South Asian Cooking. Free. Feb 7 (416) 338 7467 Feb. 20 Drum Social, Native Canadian Centre of Toronto. 16 Spadina Rd. North of Bloor. 7 - 9pm. Feb 20 Hockey Challenge. Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment presents an event of some sort from Noon until 3am... details seem sketchy. Call 416- 815-5447 for more info. Feb 20 President’s Circle Lecture. “The History of Scotch: Presentation and Tasting”, hosted by President Birgeneau. INVITATION ONLY. 7pm CONTACT: Kim Sillcox (416) 978-3810 kim.sillcox@utoronto.ca Feb. 20 Midnight Rainbow CD Release: Never Too Late. Medallian Community Centre, 7pm. $5 cover, or $20 with Midnight Rainbow CD. Call 647-271-0893. Feb 22 Lecture by Yvonne Ridley, former Taliban prisoner. Info: mb.ahmad@utoronto.ca Feb 22 Young Artists Recital - Hugo Wolf and his Poets. Lecture: Noon. Concert: 2pm. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park, Room: Walter Hall. $25. Call 416.978-3744 Feb 22 YWCA Women’s Play Day--9 am--Danforth Collegiate in Riverdale, 1 block west of Greenwood subway, just north of Danforth, Toronto. The YWCA of Greater Toronto is hosting this fabulous new event for women. Spend a day attending ‘Funshops’ such as Pilates, Desperation Dinners, Erotic Dancing, Aromatherapy, and who knows what else. There will be 40 uber-trendy Funshops to choose from. Feb. 25 Jim Guthrie and the Crying Out Loud Choir. El Mocambo, phone 416-777-1777 for info. Feb. 25 - Mar. 4 SCSU Spring Election Campaign Period Feb. 27 SCSU Spring Election Candidate Forum Feb. 27 SCSU Social Feb 28 Arrivals and Departures by Carol Shields. A reading in the Leigha Leah Browne Theatre. PWYC. Info: 416-287-7076 Mar. 5-6 SCSU Spring Elections Mar. 15 UTSC Annual Spring Formal Apr. 1 SCSU Annual Year-End BBQ your event could be here! send events listings to undergnd@ utsc.utoronto.ca or we'll hunt you down... FRIDA McDeals*” ¢& every day » of the week. ; : oe : a : Quarter Pounder® ; with Cheese UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO AT SCARBOROUGH Ree ~| DEE Names Dn He a e On average, students who live in residence achieve higher grades than those that live off-campus e Living in residence means you are minutes away from classes, student services, and meetings with clubs, groups, and classmates e Residence provides social, recreational, educational, and leadership opportunities that enhance your university experience e Our residence environment is growing — we currently have 114 townhouses and are opening a new 231 bed apartment style residence in September 2003 WHERE ARE YOU STAYING THIS SUMMER? All UTSC students who are studying on campus or working in Toronto are GUARANTEED residence accommodation for the summer if you apply by Friday, April 11th. The summer residence period runs from May 11 - August 16th at a cost of $1505. Weekly rate of $108.00 with a minimum stay of 2 weeks. Applications are available at:: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/summerrates.html or by calling 416-287-7365. PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT PLACE NEXT SEPTEMBER. STAY IN RESIDENCE. All UTSC students are eligible to apply for accommodation in both our townhouses and our new 4 bedroom apartment style building. If you are interested in residence, please fill out the required forms (reapplication form and registration form) available in the Student Housing and Residence Life office or on our website: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/HowToApplyReturning.html Deadline for applying for residence is Friday, March 14 at 5pm. ednesday, February 26, 2003 “Gas! Gas! Gas!” The Toronto Star jumps on he bandwagon of fear ~ mail! | Lord of Darkness answers his. hate~ Also in this Issue: Avril-torial p.4 Lettersp.5 Reviews Daredevil p.11 News (or Views) News-in-Brief p.6 Phase 5 Residences p.7 SCSU and SAC Elections p.9 Life Arts The Laramie Project p.10 Diaspora Review p.15 Screech Rocks York p.18 Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon J nd e rg round ae : Staff Writers: han Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, drew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, rah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung, Marjan Sachin Hingoo Production Manager Greg Brown As’t Production _James Relunia Art Director John Loerchner Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe News Editors _ Arts Editor — __ Life Editor | Christian Lucier Graphics Editor http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Any Given Thursday p.12 Double Cohort Concerns p.14 Why Does the Attic Suck? p.15 _ Keith Friedlander — Columns Weekly Haiku p.7 Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves ‘the right fo poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for _ the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. _ __ By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editori: I pore of The Editorial Board and fee Groundworks p.13 (David Hale's sci-fi adventure continues.) The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and. national advertising. The _ Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The Underground Avril-torial Norah Jones Kicks The Living Shit Out Of Avril Lavigne (wusically) Also, Daredevil Is Not Super Go ahead and ban me from the | Am Canadian Club for life, but | couldn’t be happier that The Avril didn’t win a god- damned thing at last night's Grammy Awards. Nominated for a whopping five and winning exactly zero, maybe it’s time for the pseudo-punk princess to take a step back and re-examine her image. | mean, face it, she doesn’t exactly have the “innocent skank” persona that Britney has, or the “overt skank” image popularized by Mariah and recently co-opted by Christina. The Avril is, as her publicist wouldn't hesitate to tell you, an enigma in her own right. Sure, she’s against the whole ‘teen idol’ thing, but damn, isn’t that her on the cover of Seventeen? You know what's enigmatic? Plumber’s butt on a girl. It’s about the only thing that’s real about her. Way to represent Canada, trailer- trash. I’m so glad that you won nothing. Fortunately, with The Avril’s miserable failure came the suc- cess of Norah Jones, whose album Come Away With Me and soulful ballad, Don’t Know Why picked up all five of the awards that Miss Marketable Punk didn’t, plus three more. And why not? Could it be that we're actually entering one of those “up” periods in music where real talent is appreciated over image? Could it be that the days of the boy/girl band are finally over? Maybe I’m expecting too much, especially since Justin Timberlake is, after all, still alive, and my arch-nemesis Nelly also picked up awards for the misspelled Hot in Herre and his duet with Kelly Rowland (you know, that chick from Destiny’s Child who isn’t Beyonce), Dilemma. Foiled again! And since there’s a review of this movie in this issue, |’d just like to mention that the entire Daredevil premise bothers me. Being a “superhero” with a disability such as blindness is ludicrous. You don't see Professor X rolling out into battle in his big, clunky wheelchair, do you? He gets others to do his fighting for him, and for good reason. A “superhero” with a physical dis- ability is not, and should not be, very super at all. In fact, they’re probably not much better in a fight than a regular person like, say, Martin Lawrence or Barbara Walters. | have no doubt that Daredevil wins the battle against whoever he’s fighting in this movie, especially since his name is the title of the film, but | have one strategy for fighting this blind moron that any of you uber- villains out there are free to use: sneak up behind him and bash him with a fucking two-by-four. He’ll never see it coming. “| think I'm, like, a lot different than other famous chicks like Britney and whoever else .. [hey re totally dolled up and have a brand new oulfit on all the time. I'm totally not into that. | wear the same clothes over and over.” Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor word of the week! ough \SAus SUHF\, intransitive verb: To make a soft, low sighing or rustling sound, as the wind. noun: A soft, low rustling or sighing sound. gaucherie \goh-shuh-REE\, noun: 1. A socially awkward or tactless act. 2. Lack of tact; boorishness; awkwardness. fa fi —— 4 http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ tw Chitin Nie Ae me mee | Letters _ Regarding the UTSC/ Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Centennial Febrauary 12., 2003 Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief The Underground University of Toronto at Scarborough Dear Sir, We were pleased to see the interest The Underground is taking in the new relationship between UTSC and Centennial College. However, the writers of articles that have recently appeared (SuperBuild Funding May Not Be So Super For UTSC, Jan. 29; Joint-Programme in Journalism is no match for Ryerson, Feb. 5) appear not to be fully aware of the facts. UTSC’s cooperation with Centennial was not a condition of their SuperBuild funding; rather, the fact that Centennial will have a fine new facility on our land makes collaboration in the delivery of joint programs easier for the institutions and more convenient for students. In addition, funds from the leasing arrangement have enabled the construction of the ARC, with is excellent new facilities for teaching and learning, for the benefit of UTSC students. Centennials students will have no privileges relating to the use of UTSC facilities (library, health services, athletics etc.) although students in joint programs, who will register through UTSC, will, of course, enjoy the same access as other UTSC students. All of Centennial’s teaching of joint program students will be done in Centennial’s facilities, so there will be no additional pressure on UTSC classrooms. The University of Toronto has been offering joint programs with another community col- lege for at least 25 years, a fact which does not appear to have in any way tarnished the reputation of the U of T degree: On the contrary, the selective development of programs that combine the strengths of a college and a university offers new and exciting educa- tional opportunities to students. Prior to the development of the first of our joint programs with Centennial, we conducted an on-line survey of UTSC students. Of over 50 responses received, only two were negative about the idea of joint programs. All of the proposed pro- grams have been approved by six levels of university committees, all of which have student membership (UTSC’s Program & Curriculum Subcommittee, Academic Policy & Programs Committee, Academic Board, and Executive Committee of the University of Toronto’s Governing Council). This careful and lengthy process of review ensures that the programs meet quality standards for the U of T degree. Some particular criticisms were directed at the program in Journalism, so we would like to add the following information. All of the professionally oriented courses that Centennial will contribute to the joint program were selected from the two-year Fast-Track Program offered by Centennial to university graduates. This work can be combined with UTSC courses in any of many fields, such as Biology, Drama, Economics, International Studies, Health Studies, and so on, not only English or Political Science. Hence, students may pre- pare to pursue the profession in any of a variety of specialised contexts. The design of the program is intended to present an alternative to the established, and deservedly respected, programs at Ryerson and Carleton. Graduates of the joint program will receive an Honours B. A. and their transcript will record completion of the Specialist Joint Program in Journalism. Hence, although they will not have a Bachelor of Journalism degree, they can rightly represent themselves on their resumes as having a degree in Journalism. It is not necessary to have a professional ‘ degree in the field to excel as a journalist — witness the professional success of UTSC grad David Onley of City Pulse (B.A. 1975), who is now taking an active interest in the new join program. Centennial faculty include Robert Fisher (CBC News and former Global News anchor), Victor Malarek (Globe & Mail and formerly of the 5th Estate), John Lott (sports reporter for the National Post), and Ted Borris (author and CBC personality). We are also delighted that last year John Stackhouse, Foreign Editor for the Globe & Mail, taught a UTSC course on media and international development that is listed as an option in the program. By taking one additional semester to comoplee the field experience, hjournalism joint __ program students will also qualify for ta diploma from Centennial. Graduates of Centennial’s Diploma in Journalism have an excellent record of success in securing positions positions in the field. For example, within 6 months of graduation, 95% of the class of 2000 had found work in television, radio, newspapers, and magazines, and in communications and research roles in government departments such as the Premier's office and the Ministry of the Attorney General. Recewnt Centennial grads are journalists in major media organizations, a few examples of which are Toronto Star (Natalie Henry, 03), Toronto Sun (Chris Doucette, 02), Globe & Mail (Carol Cooper, 02) Ottawa Citizen (Jennifer Morrison, 02), CHED news- talk radio, Edmonton (Dave de Jongh, 02), TSN (Kashif Arshad, Ryan Wheeler, Kevin Duncan, 02), CTV (Anita Kovacs, 01), and 680 News (Sultan Ameerali, 02). UTSC and Centennial are committed to providing an excellent educational experience to students in their-joint programs. We look forward to a long and successful partnership. E. Wayne Dowler Acting Chair, Division of Humanities University of Toronto at Scarborough Susan E. Horton VP (Academic) and Dean University of Toronto at Scarborough Editor’s Note: This letter has been edited for length. http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ A letter from crazies! (hopefully, the first of many) From: The wonderful people To: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Subject: wonderful day! Hi we are Luke’s secret following we love __lukefictitious.__ give usaL give usaU give usak giveusaE 246 8 who do we appreciate NOW MORE THAN EVER WE LOVE FICTITIOUS! And thats why we are putting up our very own fan site for congratulations to you! have a nice day XS We only send this letter to people who we feel would enjoy this we decide this by the way of our physic ability. please be nice to us and visit our fan site once it’s up IF YOU EMAIL THIS LETTER TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOU'LL HAVE GOOD LUCK AND BETTER FORTUNE COOKIES! And maybe win the lottery {if you play} FELLOWSHIP IN ADVANCEMENT THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO Are you a recent or soon-to-be graduate? Are you interested in a career that involves: * MARKETING * PUBLIC RELATIONS * SPECIAL EVENT and VOLUNTEER MANAGEMENT * COMMUNICATIONS * PHILANTHROPY Are you interested in helping the University of Toronto rank among the leading international public research Universities? If so, consider the field of Advancement. Advancement is the term used to describe the activities of fundraising, alumni and public relations that help to harness the financial and human resources required to advance the goals of the University. It’s a rapidly growing field filled with exciting opportunities. The University of Toronto is looking for highly motivated candidates who are committed to higher education, voluntarism and philanthropy for a 12 month internship starting in September 2003. Application deadline: Friday February 28, 2003 Visit : www.alumni.utoronto.ca/stayconnected/career. htm Paper copies of the application form are available at the front desk, J. Robert S. Prichard Building 21 King’s College Circle: between 9:00am — 5:00pm or contact Karen Papazian at (416) 946-8371 or karen.papazian@utoronto.ca The Underground . .’ News The News. In Brief... 7 petit, “bese That’s right, she’s wearing a strap-on! Smile with pride, mom and dad! GRRLfest is cool GRRLfest has tattoos and sex toys. Yet, according to the coordinators, there are only a few men brave enough to walk up to the tables. GRRLfest was created by a group of women in direct response to what they felt was a lack of voice and politics in regards to women’s issues here at UTSC. While there is indeed a Women’s Centre, it is small and the general feeling is that there is a lack of women’s space on campus. The program volunteers are boisterous and enthu- siastic, and are passionate about an issue that is often overlooked (hence the need for GRRLfest). More exciting than acupuncture, this action-oriented festival is both intriguing and frightening. Tables are laden with flyers for events, information pamphlets, stickers, and “Positive Space” temporary tattoos. Not to mention dildos. And vibrators. And strap-ons. They even have their own t-shirts. GRRLfest is not about radical feminism, but about freedom and peace. GRRLfest events this week: Wednesday: Healthy Relationships Workshop. (B359) 12-2pm (exclusive to women and transfolk) Anti-Oppression Workshop. (S357) 2-4pm Media Workshop. (B264) 5-7pm Thursday: WENDO (Teaching Studio at the Key) 2:15-4:15pm (exclusive to women and transfolk) Independent Film Showing (b264) 5-7pm Friday: Iraq Discussion: Speaker from Women Opposing War Everywhere. (S221) 2-4pm CSU ELECTION CANDIDATES. Be on the lookout for these people; since they will potentially decide how your school year will be last year if they win. Make them represent YOU: PRESIDENT: Dan Bandurka Brad Meisner Scott Tremblay Carrie Shultz VICE-PRESIDENT ACADEMICS: Jessica Mariano Preet Virdi VICE-PRESIDENT OPERATIONS: Jacinda Clarke Sanna Szeto VICE-PRESIDENT STUDENTS: Anjali Mohan CLUBS OFFICER: Fragile Gbego-Tossa Jon Agg SOCIAL ACTIVITIES OFFICER: Zawadi Nyambu LIFE SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Alana Harrington Ishrag Alim HUMANITIES REPRESENTATIVE: Jeff Rybak COMPUTER AND MATHEMATICAL SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Subhi Farah SOCIAL SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Chanel Chung MANAGEMENT REPRESENTATIVE: Virata Thaivasigamony PHYSICAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: (Vacant) The SAC (not the SCSU) nomination period is still open, and will be until this Friday, February 28". It is encouraged that you think about running for an execu- tive position, or becoming a member of the Board of Directors. Check out www.sac.utoronto.ca for a nomi- nation package, or call 416.978.4911 ext. 229 for more information. (Beware, the website might be inaccurate with dates). If you choose not to do this, at least become aware of the final list of candidates and their positions, and then vote. Gordon Lane and (sometimes, but mostly not) Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ News Phase 5 Residences Before the plans for the new housing are drawn up for the future first-year students, a budget will be designed to suit all parties involved. With next years’ increase in the number of stu- dents at UTSC, and the greater number who will be living on campus as a result, new dorms are being planned, and labeled as Phase 5. In the past, there have been some instances where plans have been made, however, these plans have not been realized because there was not enough available funding. This time however, with the idea of new dorms in mind, a budget is being developed which will be fol- lowed up by the plan for its actual construction. This way, there will be no disappointments when certain aspects of the new dorms are not constructed. It has been estimated that Phase 5 will be built on a budget of approximately fifty-four thousand dollars per dorm house. Right now, only about 50 full-time residence stu- dents are on the $1500 meal plan. The new dorms are being built solely for first-year students who will be younger then those of previous years. With this in mind, the new building will no longer contain private kitchens for personal cooking. However, there is talk that the kitchens will be replaced by a new meal plan conjoined with the school cafeteria. They will have no choice but to buy their food unless they bring hot plates from home. The new residences will either be dormitory, or suite styles. The dormitory style is similar to many of those on the St. George Campus. They will be in the form of a corridor filled with private bedrooms. Each bedroom will be occupied by only one student, and they will have to share bathrooms with the other people on their floor. The suite styles will be much more personal in the way that they are designed. Two people will share a common area, and a bathroom. It will basically be like the dorms that exist right now, except they will be single bedrooms, and two house- mates will share the common area and the bathroom. The question of where the new residence will be built is still on the table. So far, Phase 5 will have a footprint of 3000 square metres, be 4 floors high, and hold 150 rooms. However, this will probably have to be adjusted depending on where the structure will be located. Since it will be for first-year students, the school wants the dorms to be close to the school. At first, there was talk about them being built behind Phase 3, however, this was soon taken off the table due to UTSC taking the environmentally conscious stance and not wanting to cut down any trees. There are two more options that the school is still review- ing; Phase 5 will either be built behind the parking lot, or near Phase 1. There had also been talk about it being built down by the Miller Lash house, however it has been decided that it will be too far away from the school. In the future, if there is a Phase 6 built, it will go across the street, and it will most likely provide hous- ing for older students. If this does happen, Phase 3 will be turned into housing for those students with spouses and/or kids. This way, these students will not have to leave the campus to find affordable housing. Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Marjan Tehrani Staff Writer Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo Oh Avril Lavigne Your leather cuffs are so punk Too bad your songs aren't. i _ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ CALEOUT TO ALL PARFTIME STUDENTS! DO YOU WANT TO GET MORE INVOLVED ON CAMPUS? WANT TO IMPROVE ACADEMIC AND STUDENT LIFE FOR PART-TIME UNDERGRADS AT THE U OF T? «DIVERSITY JOIN THE ASSOCIATION OF PART-TIME UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS *DEDICATED * DIVERSE * CARING* Any part-time undergraduate at all 3 U of T campuses can become a Class Representative and run for a seat on the 2003- 2004 APUS Board of Directors. Time commitment: at least 3 hrs/month. Food, travel, family care expenses are reimbursed. SUBMIT A NOMINATION FORM AND A100-WORD STATEMENT FORMS AVAILABLE AT THE SCSU OFFICE, ROOM R-3042 (416) 287-7047 THE DEADLINE FOR NOMINATIONS IS AT THE ELECTIONS, AT THE APUS ASSEMBLY OF CLASS REPRESENTATIVES: WEDNESDAY MARCH 5TH 2003 5:30PM-7:00PM SIDNEY SMITH HALL, 100 ST GEORGE ST, ROOM 1088 (1ST FLOOR) (ON THE ST GEORGE CAMPUS) FOR MORE INFORMATION: WWW.APUS.UTORONTO.CA SUNDARAM.APUS@UTORONTO.CA 416-978-7594 DO YOU WANT TO WORK TOWARDS... ACCESSIBLE, BARRIER-F REE EDUCATION ° SERVICES & SUPPORT FOR PART-TIME UNDERGRADS * RETURNING/MATURE STUDENTS’ ISSUES *INCREASED STUDENT PARTICIPATION & EMPOWERMENT _ The Underground ae: _ News “GAS! GAS! GAS!” The Toronto Star jumps on the bandwagon of fear... Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief There it is. | open the “World” section of last Sunday’s Toronto Star and find the headline “Gas! Gas! Gas!” screaming at me from the front page. The pictures show bio-chemical suits, Starreporters dressed in emergency chem- emergency kits that the reporters would use in the field if they | attack. o doesn't love an article about anthrax and mustard gas, and ur skin melting into pus as airborne chemicals burn the christ ungs? Torstar (the parent company that owns The Toronto Star and papers: Sensationalism. You picked up that copy of the Metro was on the cover. The article on the inside doesn’t even make the time you realise that, it’s too late. You’re already reading art Torstar is pretty good about all this. Sure, they tricked you r, but once you get inside, the content is fair to good and the ad. So Torstar has ethics. Good for them. is article about chemical and biological emergency training... . But necessary or relevant to most Torontonians (who, inciden- the front)? No. s!” article was pure media masturbation. It titillates, but gives formation. What’s more is that the article is crazy alarmist. Of osie DiManno, writes as though she’s doing us all a favour by how horrible biological and chemical weapons are. Weapons e tells us, could really hurt civilians in lrag. Okay. Gotcha. So is pe. But it is in the world news section, and on the first page of guess that makes it “human-interest masquerading as news.” lal It right. ere writing a nothing article about a nothing article. Do | have a point? fear-mongering going on with respect to this war in Iraq is outra- times, maintain a certain amount of respect for the editorial stan- and balance that the Star usually espouses. And | don’t even big sensationalist pictures and scary headlines to make me pick up dit... So long as what | end up reading is informative or somehow hile learning about biological weapons is unassailably cool, it isn’t to me or anyone else. | probably should have stopped reading as e part where DiManno is saying “In the event of a chemical attack, of nine seconds’ in which to get your gas mask out, turn your back over and get the mask on, all the while exhaling forcefully to expel ts you might have already inhaled. Nine seconds. And you need to sk.\ ith you? That's it, if Toronto is attacked with chemical weapons, | xactly what people all over North America are thinking. Army surplus g out of gas masks and chemical protection suits. Never mind that elelready wearing all of this equipment for it to be effective in any sort - *gas masks, in particular, are probably expired (the Canadian ant them after all...). Never mind that even if vou had a func- me ‘to prevent your lungs from dissolving are nil. ea ! May If we get gassed, so be it. There’s no rational way for me it. tl worry when the time comes, if it comes. ing on fear-mongering, I'd like to send a psychic bitch-slap at @ity much every time he speaks, he says something like “We will apiert xe ! will not be intimidated.” But then you have the White House, a | okiné Defense Seere ary, or whoever, coming out twice a week to put the American by proximity) on some new alert: Yellow, Orange, Pink. Where US vigilance that we keep hearing about? Does that mean storing 6 weeks yrthof canngdsgoods i in my pantry? Building a bomb-shelter in my little backyard? Buying a |. gas mask and full chemical suit? Keeping a close eye on Arab-looking young Bee and their. briefcases and shoes? Oh no, wait... | don’t. DiManno’s article finishes up with a tidy little i And, “ot'yeah, “Biological agents can be dispersed via ventilation and water sys- ‘tems. Perhaps this:¥MiiID Primer will convince skeptics about the necessity of disarm- eril of permitting him to slither away yet again from U. N. sanc- eat of war.” So I. guess DiManno’s article wasn’t about nothing after all... All along she was selling us war with fear, just like someone else | know. 8 http://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ / ¥FaAen News You complain about our lack of funding. You complain about tuition money going to services downtown that you never use. You complain about everything, so shut up because no one even likes you. It’s time to stop complaining and, well, complain, but with a ballot this time. On March 5 and 6, in addition to voting in the SCSU Elections, the students of UTSC will also have the opportunity to voice their opinion on another matter of extreme importance. See, it’s all fine and good to vote for the members of SCSU, but it has been argued that the power of this orga- nization is rather limited by the larger, overarching incarnation of same - the SAC. The Student's Administrative Council governs all three of U of T’s campuses, and the SCSU'’s contention is that SAC is too focused on issues pertaining to the St. George campus, and it tends to neglect poor old UTSC. As a result, the SCSU will be going to the students with a plebiscite (a word | didn’t know until last week) that will essentially ask one ques- tion of you: Should the SCSU become the sole representation for UTSC, effectively kicking SAC off of this campus? A ‘yes’ vote would have drastic ramifications, including a re-allocation of the fees that we currently pay SAC to the SCSU. In case | haven't driven the point home, this issue is impor- tant, fuckers. Speaking of important issues, as Christian mentioned in his last article (“VOTE, Idiot!”, Feb.12), both the SAC and SCSU Elections are coming up, and will be held on March 5-6. From Feb. 24 (hey, that’s this week!) until the elec- tions, you will have the opportunity to meet the candidates through their campaigns, as well as through a SCSU candidates’ forum on Feb. 27. | encourage every UTSC student, part-time or full-time, Computer Science or Arts Management, to please, PLEASE take some time out to get to know the candidates and their positions so that you can make an informed decision at the elec- tion. | don’t want to have to hold your hand here, people. | know you're busy, and this campus isn't known for its enthusiasm on any issue, but to be blunt, this election will determine if next year will be a banner one for UTSC, or another steaming turd. The newly-elected SCSU will determine how and if the Student Centre will run, and that build- ing, in this editor's opinion, will be the key to fixing the morale problem in this place. Of course, for that to happen, it is imperative that you get off your lazy asses and vote. More importantly, let’s try not making your vote so random this year and actually knowing who the candidates are and what they stand for, rather than picking based on how much you like their name or that shade of neon pink they used for their posters. Here at the Underground, we'll do what we can to help you learn about the candidates, but thus far, only a couple of writ- Coming soon to Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Sachin “Without the SAC My First Name Is Just Hin” Hingoo Associate Editor This upcoming’ election could very well change the face of UTSC as we know it. That’s neither hyperbole nor the tagline for the new Terminator flick. It’s the straight diggity. ers have signed up to find every student on this campus, throw them in burlap sacks, and physi- cally drag them out to vote. Some of you will have to get there on your own. And as a postscript, I’d just like to address this to anyone that has ever written us a com- plaint about any aspect of this institution, and that includes any writer for this publication. If you whine and bitch about what you hate about this place, and then decide not to vote or participate in this election, then you are a dick. If you won't take an interest in who Is running your school, an institution to whom you pay thousands of dollars every year, then you deserve nothing more than shit for a school year. If you don’t take an interest in your school and vote, why in the fuck should anyone else? No Cover. 4576 Kingston Rd. (just east of Morningside) 416-284-1978 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground 10 ae FEBRUARY 12—MARCH 2, 2003 ARTWORD THEATRE = 2 PORTLAND STRET, HERS 1-800-461-2333 + 416-872-1217 WW TICKETRING. COM FREE PUBLICITY! We like to support the local indie scene, especially since if we were friends with Ajax residents Sum 41, we'd be riding in limo’s and mackin’ ho’s right now. So if you're in an independent band or musical act from UTSC, please contact us at undergnd @utsc.utoronto.ca. Who knows, maybe you'll be thanking us at, | don’t know, the Junos or something. Play: The Laramie Project Written by: Moisés Kaufman and the Members of the Tectonic Theatre Project Originally Produced in New York by: Roy Gabay and the Tectonic Theatre Project Associate Producers: Mara Isaacs and Hart Sharp Entertainment Director: Joel Greenberg Starring: Lesley Dowey, Deborah Drakeford, Jonathan Goad, Marvin Hinz, Alison Lawrence, Mark McGrinder, Kimwun Perehinec, Dylan Roberts Keith Friedlander Arts Editor When the world first heard about the attack on Mathew Sheppard, his hometown of Laramie, Wyoming, not only had to deal with the issue at hand, they also had to deal with massive media coverage. For outside observers the only infor- mation available was the information the media chose to broadcast. In such situations the truth can easily be confused with false assumptions. Four weeks after the incident, members of the Tectonic Theatre Project decided to head to Laramie to find out the truth. Armed with recorders and their curiosity, they set up several interviews with the people of Laramie, Matthew’s friends, counselors, offi- cers involved with the case and many others. Once they were finished, they assembled the recording into an original play. The eight- member ensemble and a modest set made for an entire re-enactment of life in Laramie at the time of Mathew’s death. The ensemble portrayed approximately sixty citizens.with vary- ing degrees of involvement in the case. Their enunciations and expressions created genuine characters with a varying range of backgrounds and age. It was amazing to watch the cast as they flit- ted from character to character and completely embodied their new personas. As the story progressed from one boy’s chance discovery of Matthew on the fence to his funeral, the range of people affected by the event grew. They showed the fear expressed by some members of the gay community, the different methods reli- gious factions used to deal with the crime and the discomfort of most at having to deal with a seemingly merciless press. When it came time for the court scenes, one of Matthew's attackers, another youth, was finally portrayed. Aaron McKinney was just another kid from Laramie; he had a girlfriend and a child, now he was going to be impris- oned for two consecutive life sentences. To most this unfortunate affair seems to be a waste of several lives, especially Matthews. However, as can be noted by some of his father’s remarks used in the play, his parents did not feel as though their son’s death was unproductive. “Matt's beating, hospitalization and funeral focused worldwide attention on hate. Good is coming out of evil. People have said, ‘Enough is enough.’ You screwed up, Mr. McKinney. You made the world realize that a person's lifestyle is not a reason for discrimi- nation, intolerance, persecution and violence. This is not the 1920's, 30’s and 40’s of Nazi Germany. My son died because of your igno- rance and intolerance. | can’t bring him back. But | can do my best to see that this never, ever happens to another person or another family again. As | mentioned earlier, my son has become a symbol- a symbol against hate and people like you; a symbol for encouraging respect for individuality, for appreciating that someone is different, for tolerance. | miss my son but I’m proud to be able to say that he is my son.” Overall, the play was sobering and inspir- ing at the same time. Sobering, by the hate and malevolence we were forced to acknowl- edge by viewing the play and inspiring by all the good things that came from Matthew’s death, such as, The Matthew Sheppard foun- dation and an increased interest in passing the Hate Crimes Protection Act. _ (Theatre } 4 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ; Film Pies hye te ea pd Wednesday, February 26, 2003 ae a i Daredevil is the most recent classic comic hero whored out by Marvel comics to Hollywood for his own movie. Before | start this review |’d like to state that USA Today described this movie as being “as great as it is cool”. | think you should all take a moment to be thankful that The Underground isn't USA Today. On to the review. Ben Affleck plays Matt Murdock, blind lawyer by day, crime fighter in NYC's Hell’s Kitchen by night. As a child, Matt was bullied and pushed around until an accident with some spilled radioactive waste cost him his sight. However, due to the general rule that anyone who survives a radioactive incident will somehow gain amazing powers, young Matt found that his four remaining senses were boosted to superhuman levels. His sharp hearing provides him with a form of sonar, while his sensitive touch makes him incredibly nimble and agile. After his father is killed by a local mob boss, Matt grows up determined to use his powers to protect the little guy and punish evil- doers. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Take the dare. whatever Comic movie is fun but flaky Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Film: Daredevil Director: Mark Steven Johnson Starring: Ben Affleck, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell Rating: Kk KKK .. or don’t, There are a number of ways of approaching this movie. As a comic book fan, it shouldn’t be too hard to get excited about it, but with so many comic-based movies being made recently, the novelty of seeing an old franchise favorite in live action is beginning to wear thin. Iron Man is the most recent casualty on this growing list and it’s really reaching the point where | can’t care how or why they’d make a movie about any given hero. | mean, why don’t they just make a movie about Namor the Sub-Mariner so | can slit my wrists and just get it over with. As a movie fan, it’s harder to get interested in the ‘man without fear’. He’s always been an interesting hero and the talents who have written him in the past have proven his versatility. A lot of people will think Daredevil is just a Batman rip-off but these people are probably ignorant. He’s actually an original and well-conceived character. However, in the short frame of a movie he becomes just another choreographed crime fighter with a dif- ferent gimmick. Despite all these detrimental facts, Daredevil still holds up surprisingly well and even with the growing tedium, it hasn’t reached the point where the movie is just a bland moneymaker (maybe that will be The Hulk). The plot is well put together and moves along at a good pace. While the acting comes off as forced in most scenes, the actors do a respectable job bringing their characters to life. Colin Farrell’s portrayal of the completely insane assassin Bull’s-eye is colourful, Michael Clarke Duncan’s Kingpin is appropriately menacing and Jennifer Garner’s Electra (the ninja/love inter- est) is nice to look at. Affleck’s banter with Jon Favreau’s Foggy Nelson seems natural and is enjoyable. Technical features of the film such as Daredevil’s sonar and certain action scenes are very well done. The gritty but stylish atmosphere of the movie works well. The soundtrack is excel- lent. Kevin Smith even makes a cameo. What's not to like? Well, for one thing, some scenes are kind of hokey. There are several stupid parts that will make you groan. The beginning flashback explaining the hero’s origins kind of drags on. Joe Pantoliano was disappointingly irritating, and I’m still wondering how you can hear someone's irises. In the end, the movie doesn’t have much substance once you get past the style and novelty. | could keep weighing the pros and cons and never come to a conclu- sion, so | should summarize. The bottom line is that Daredevil is a fun and entertaining movie. Fans may be disappointed, others may be unim- pressed, but if you enjoy these kinds of movies, there’s no reason why you shouldn't enjoy seeing Daredevil. It isn’t going to amaze anyone, but it's worth seeing. I’m even kind of thinking about maybe considering the chance of going a second time if someone who hasn't seen it asks me to. Hey, look at that. | got through a whole article about Ben Affleck without mentioning J Lo and | didn’t even... Oh damn it! 11 The Underground a tnd us ? ‘‘Wlusic Greg Brown Production Manager John Mayer Unplugged Title: Any Given Thursday Artist: John Mayer Publisher: Aware/Columbia Rating: kkk aX Recorded from a concert in his home- town of Birmingham, John Mayer's latest album, Any Given Thursday, showcases a selection of the more popular songs from his previous album, Room For Squares, along with several new pieces, spread across two discs. One thing long- timg Mayer fans will appreciate is that a lot of the songs come out much differently from the normal radio or album versions, and not entirely due to the fact that the performance is in an actual auditorium as opposed to a recording studio. In many places throughout the perfor- mance, he improvises on the tune of his music, but in a few places he’s met with little success. For the first song, “3x5”, his voice sounds a little more raspy than usual, to the point where | had to wonder if he just wasn’t feeling to well that night. Even though | already knew the song, there were several parts where | found myself guessing at what he was trying to say. There are also a number of awkward moments during “3x5” where it seems like he was trying to take the audience somewhere a little different, then real- ized it didn’t sound too good, and quickly switched back to the original tune. It’s not enough to ruin the whole song for you, but in most cases, even if you’ve never heard the song before, you'll know that something went wrong. Not a good way to start off an album, or a concert. Luckily, he cleaned things up a bit during the second song, “No Such Thing’, his main hit that has been added to several department and convenience store muzak selections. His fine-tuning starts to work out much better, leading to completely different spins on such mem- orable tunes as “Why Georgia”, “Your Body Is A Wonderland”, “Love Song For No One’, and “Neon”. “Neon”, the final song for the show, stood out in particular because of it’s more upbeat sound as compared to the studio version, and the extra guitar and drum solos that stretch it out to a whopping, yet enjoyable, 10 and a half minutes. Undisputedly, it was a great way to finish things off. In the case of “Why Georgia’, he added a 3-minute lead-in, complete with extra lyrics. Although the tune to the lead-in wasn’t a perfect match for that of the rest of the song, the lyrics tie the two halves together beautifully, making the transition seem much more natural. Although there a few places where he turns up the energy a little, for the most part he sticks to the casual, laid-back sound he’s become famous for. Even the newer songs, like “Something’s Missing’, “Message In A Bottle” and “Covered In Rain” do an excellent job of retaining, and in some cases, furthering, his image as someone who is able to recognize the many flaws in his life and the world, but still remains hopeful about his future. Even if you already own Room For Squares, this album is definitely worth picking up. Aside from the different twists he takes with the original melodies, most, if not all, of the older songs feature some sort of extension that further work to enhance the experience. Aside from “Message In A Bottle”, the newer songs, which actually make up one third of the album, aren’t quite as impressive as “No Such Thing”, but they fit in with the rest of his repertoire very nicely, and are sure to make this collection a welcomed addition to your musical library. 12 http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ » f .Groundworks OEE 2 — _ * = Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Dodge David Hale As the Porsche screamed past the mouth of the alleyway Sinn pressed himself into the shadows. He watched as it tore through a red light and around the corner. Glancing around the edge of the alley he watched as the gun barrel slipped back onto the roof- top. Wasting no time he hopped onto the back of his Yamaha Rapier and sped off after the Mako. His silver bike darted and sliced its way through the evening traf- fic like its name. He leaned his large Ork frame over the bike as he kept his eyes peeled for the escaping car. Ripping through a light he caught sight of the Mako making its way onto the causeway stretching across the Seattle River. Grabbing the hand brake he leaned hard to one side putting the Rapier into a skid. He gunned the engine as the bike turned and kicked it into gear as he jumped a curb. As the nose came down he picked up traction and raced onto the causeway. The Mako was several car lengths ahead and gaining speed. Sinn swerved in between cars until he was two car lengths back. Keeping an eye on the car to make sure he hadn't been noticed he unzipped his motorcycle jacket. The Uzi Ill thudded gently on his ribcage as it swung on its sling. Accelerating he moved up the small shoulder alongside the passenger door grasping the butt of his SMG. He was trailing behind the Mako by one car it [ , | te, ! nes = aes it - ae bt E a set length when he noticed a matte black Eurocar Westwind coming up fast. The sniper was coming to finish the job no doubt. Changing lanes he turned taking aim at the following car. Ducking low on the bike he fired a burst at the driver’s side window of the Westwind. The bullets hit and ricocheted off without scratching the paint. Hearing the shots Morgan turned and knelt in the passenger seat. Taking aim with his good arm, his left dangling at his side, he fired. Sinn swerved at the Guardian went off, the shell bouncing off the armored Westwind. Inside the tinted windows of the Eurocar Rick O’Shea sat load- ing a fresh clip into his Colt M23 assault rifle. Next to him in the driver's seat sat Quicksilver jacked into the dashboard of the Westwind. “Who is the big grunge on the bike?” Quicksilver asked, his eyes closed, the sensors feeding his brain all of the necessary information. “Third party acquisitionist | assume. Nothing you can’t deal with,” replied O’Shea. “Natch.” Back in the Mako Morgan was shouting to Zen over the roar of the wind. “We got company!” Zen nodded and put the pedal to the floor as Morgan fired a couple more rounds at the following bike. Sinn dropped back to avoid being hit. Behind him the Westwind closed the distance and moved to ram him. The front bumper slammed hard into the rear wheel of the Rapier sending the bike spinning in an uncontrolla- ble spin. Sinn bent his knees and launched himself into the air as the bike overturned. The hydraulic jacks in his legs lifted his large frame a good two meters into the air as the Westwind flew past underneath him. The Eurocar turned hard to miss the jackknifing bike and moved to intercept the Mako. Sinn curled into a ball in the air and landed feet first into a shoulder roll. The jacks took the brunt of the fall as he rolled to counter the momentum. He rolled to his feet and sidestepped a passing car as it blew past. “Frag! Motherfragging slitch!!” he screamed into the night air. Turning he brought the Uzi Ill out of his coat and waved down an oncoming car. As the car rolled to a stop he punched through the window and dragged the driver out of his seatbelt and onto the street. “Sorry but | need this,” he spat quickly at the norm on the ground. Jumping in he gunned the engine and raced after his prey. The Mako took a hard left as it wheeled off the causeway, the Westwind following without trouble. “Did the grunge get slagged?” “Couldn't tell. But he’s slowed down nonetheless. Get me in closer so | can take a shot.” O’Shea said as he rolled down his window. O’Shea leaned his slight elven body out the window and nestled the rifle in his shoulder. Morgan fired a few more rounds at the Westwind and ducked to reload. The rifle in O’Shea’s hands bucked sending a burst through the ragtop and into the interior. Zen grunted a bullet found her back through her seat and vest. Her eyes widened for a moment but she kept a straight face. As the second burst was loosed she slammed on the brakes and swung the wheel. The Porsche went into a spin and ended up facing the other way. She pounced on the accelerator racing back towards the causeway. The Westwind countered by screeching to a halt in a T- Stop. O’Shea gripped the door and almost lost his rifle out the window as the car swung around. “Jesus!” He exclaimed sliding back into his seat. Jimmy Sinn weaved fiercely through the traffic on the causeway in‘his stolen Americar. He drove the drekbox for what it was worth, while cursing himself for having lost his target. He began cursing the driver of the Westwind when he spotted the tattered Mako speed past the end of the causeway heading north. He turned hard to follow the car keeping the pedal to he floor. Coming up behind him was the Westwind too fast to stop. Quicksilver turned at the last second bumping hard into the rear left side of the Americar. The sound of busting glass and twisting metal filled the air as the Westwind spun out of control. The crash hit Quicksilver like a blow to the head his senses reeling as the sen- sors gave a detailed display of the damage incurred. As the Westwind spun Quicksilver lay in his seat his head fogged with pain. The Westwind hopped a curb and took flight right through the display window of a department store. Glass and wood shattered as the car overturned and slid to a halt in the maternity section of the store. Sirens could be heard en route. Sinn controlled the skid and managed to keep the Americar on track as he followed the Mako a few cars back. The Mako crisscrossed through the darker parts of Seattle as if making sure it wasn’t followed. Their course led them to the pier. Sinn watched from a nearby alley as the pair got out and pushed the wreckage of the Mako off the dock into the murky waters below. The pair then hailed a cab and Sinn followed as they led him to the front steps of an old dentist's office. Sinn ditched the Americar in an alley a few blocks away leaving it to be devoured by the local rif-raff. Taking up a position across from the office in a dilapidated old apartment he watched. Waiting. Lone Star arrived on the scene, lights flashing and radios squawking. The Westwind still humming as it lay upside down amid broken cribs and baby toys. The driver and passenger were nowhere to be found. Just a dead security guard with a hole in his head. Detective Hammett stepped out of his Toyota Elite and surveyed the scene. The display window was shattered as well as most of the shelving, which had been turned over or knocked down. The Westwind was upside down on top of a few broken cribs. The sound of the engine mixed with a mobile, as it lay almost dreamlike. “Somebody shut that thing down, and call forensics to the scene,” he spoke taking charge of the situation. A nearby constable piped up “They’ve already been called sir.” “Good. Get a mechanic down here too | want a pro- file of the vehicle. Were there any witnesses?” “Just one sir. The security guard there called it in but ceased transmission shortly after. Looks like a light pistol at close range. Helluva shot though. Several motorists saw the crash, two or three cars. The other two drove off north.” “Run ballistics on the bullet, | have a feeling this has something to do with the destruction in the east side earlier today. Check to see if the traffic cameras caught anything, and get me a soykaf.” “Yessir!” Hammett frowned and leaned on the hood of his Elite, it was going to be a long night. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 13 The Underground 14 Lisa Endersby Staff Writer Life Double Cohort Concerns Your pupils are dilated, there’s sweat running down your forehead, your arm is trembling as you slowly reach out and grasp the instrument... double clicking your way into the harrowing world of university applications. Yes that was a cheesy opening and yes it’s very possible that the online application process isn’t as harrowing as |’ve made it out to be, but those same symptoms could easily be attributed to thousands of students this year vying for a spot amongst the dizzying heights of higher education. The double cohort year is in full swing, but what exactly does it have to do with us here at UTSC? Why should we be worried? We've already acquired a place within the institution, we have no fears about coming back next year (except maybe those phobias of the how-will-l-pay-my-tuition or what- will-my-GPA-look-like variety). STUDENTS' ADMINISTRATIVE COUNCIL SPRING ELECTIONS Nominations Gen: Rominations Close: Ail Candidates Meating: Campaigning Begins: Campaigning Ends: Election Begins: Bection Enis: SAC's working for Students. We bring you: SAC Wheel Chair Access Committee SAC Health & Dental Insurance SAC Orientation UofT ast Scholarshi Food & Clothing Bank Bursary RUN. VOTE. CHANGE. Be a part of SAC's accomplishments. ~ VICANCIES FOR DIRECTORS Engineering 3 Physical Education and Health Dentistry | arch sy — College Thurs Feb 20@ 9am Frifeb28@ 5pm igh ichael's College Toronto School of Theology Transitional Year Program Trinity College oweclag Vsningg Victoria Woodnworthen College | Frifeb 28 @ 7pm | Medicine | Mon Feb 26 @ 1201 am Mississauga 5 FriMar 14 @6 pm Music 1 NewCollege 3 Nursing | OISE/UT | Pharmacy 1 Wed Mar 12 @ 6:00 am FriMar 14 @ 6pm SET INVOLVED WITH YOUR STUDENT GOVERNMENT www.sac.uterento.ca &. contact info: cro@sac.utoronto.ca 416 978 4911 x 229 studentsadministrativecouncil Here’s a frightening statistic from the Council of Canadian Universities: ‘At the peak of the double cohort in 2004-2005, some 33,500 additional secondary school students could be applying to Ontario’s universi- ties.’ That could mean either close to 33,500 more first year students in college or university next year, or close to 33,500 disappointed teens who will have to decide on how to most effectively waste a year of their lives. Once again, this all seems quite depressing for grade 12 and OAC students, but it doesn’t seem to matter for those already close to finishing their stint at university. Does the double cohort really matter to UTSC students? Does anybody really care about the plight of those 33,500 or are we merely content in the knowledge that we had the common sense and fantastic luck to get out when we did. To find out, | did what any intrepid reporter would do: | asked my friends for their opinion. One of my friends told me that the biggest effect the double cohort will have on current university students will be that the students who will subsequently move onto higher education will be younger and younger. Because of this, commonplace activities like pub nights might not be as prevalent or will be under stricter con- trol, since a lot of the new first year students will be well below the legal age. Another friend voiced his concern about the greater amount of competition among uni- versity students in the coming years. With increasingly high standards for graduate studies, it’s going to take a lot more work to stand out in the newly enlarged file of potential candidates. As well, any university or college campus will most likely become a lot more crowded, resulting in even longer waits for important information, including academic advising appointments and help with registration. | also had a friend point out that those students currently in OAC have the advantage on an easier curriculum, and those in grade 12 now have the opportunity to start university sooner. However, she was hard pressed to come up with any real effect the double cohort will have on those of us already in university. So for right now, the only real recognized effect that the double cohort will have on us current UTSC students seems to be an increase in student population, which will lead not only to overcrowding of the school itself, but also increased demands on all current student services. Those of us who found it difficult to get the help we wanted this year may find it near impossible next year, as the long line-ups and scarcity of resources seem to have little hope for improvement. While we may not be able to sympathize with those unfortunate members of the double cohort, and many of us, especially those first year students who fast tracked their way into university, may be silently commending ourselves on getting out when we did, we will still have to deal with the conse- quences of the government's constant fiddling with the education system. Though we don't have to worry about getting into university, we’re still going to have to worry about how we're going to survive until we get out. http://Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : 4 Life Why does the Attic suck? Why is the | Am Canadian Club so great? Christian Lucier Life Editor | am sure that over reading week a number of us had the opportunity to go and check out some new and exciting places. Specifically, | am talking about clubs, bars, and such. Reading week, even though thought to be a time where we can catch up on our studies, pres- ents us with the opportunity to expand beyond campus; a chance to see what life is like on the “outside”, so to speak. | have done exactly this over the reading week, broken the shackles of UTSC, and stepped outside. Upon my departure, | thought about the places | was visiting and the versions of these places we have on campus. It was then it dawned upon me; the Attic and the Student Village Centre (SVC) are poor excuses for places where the student body can socialize. These facilities are a shoddy replica of what we want on campus. Certainly The Attic and SVC are not being used to their potential, and because of the complexity of campus rules and policies, never will be. Our only choice is to take student life and socializing off campus, a practice that some UTSC clubs and organizations have been implementing. However, does getting together off campus grounds sort of diminish that university event feel? Certainly. The Attic and SVC are inadequate for a number of reasons. For starters, they are not designed for any specific function. Sometimes The Attic turns into a pub, sometimes it transforms into an expo, while others times The Attic becomes a classroom. The same goes for the SVC. The problem with running a facility like this is that it lacks definition and consistency. When The Attic and SVC turn into anything, they resemble the “watered down’ version. This affects people in many ways. For example, when | go to a pub night at The Attic, there is a bar, but not really. | will have a few choices of beer and about three liquors to choose from. My choices are limited because the bar in the Attic will be cleaned up and erased once the night ends. The setup in The Attic is not very efficient either for social gatherings. The space is divided into two rooms. One room is a cluttered mess of couches, while the other contains massive tables that take up a ton of space and are not very ideal. All the above points only motivate UTSC clubs and organizations to take their events off campus. Last week, the | Am Canadian Club rented the top floor of The Fox and The Fiddle in Pickering and provided transportation from UTSC to the bar. Let’s just say that The Fox and The Fiddle makes The Attic look like, well...an attic. Here is a link to some of the pictures from the event - http: /Iwww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~iacc/frame.html. These pictures basically show a Wednesday, February 26, 2003 facility that is designed and capable of holding a great pub night. However, most students who live on or near campus prefer the event to be at UTSC, instead of commuting. So, even if going off campus means having a great place to hold an event, it can still damage the turnout. There is hope though. With the new Student Center opening up in a year, there will be a lot more facilities. Supposedly, there will be places for clubs to meet, as well as a restaurant/pub. The new Student Center may free us from depending on the Attic and SVC for everything, meaning most social“events will return to being held on campus. UTSC events arise out of the fact that we all go to UTSC. It would be nice to have the facilities to hold the events accordingly. In the years to come, that may well be a very good possibility. Diaspora Review Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Panel: Cc i The opening panel for the symposium brought together a more diverse group of speakers to present a range of examples of different diasporas. The pan- elists included Norm Ravvin, Chair of Jewish studies at Concordia, Kanishka Goonewardena from U of T’s department of geography and George Elliot Clarke from U of T’s English department. It seemed like it would be interesting to see how they're different views of the impact of diasporas on Canadian culture might clash. The lectures given however focused more on the fea- tures unique to each cultures experiences, offering little in the way of what they had in common. Ravvin gave a lengthy speech about the nature of the Hebrew language and the drastic changes that have shaped it over the century. Goonewardena focused strongly on the meaning of a diaspora as it is reflected in our city, a long presentation which seemed to boil down to the fact that certain minorities have larger unemploy- ment rates than others. Clarke spoke avidly about the position of the individual within the diaspora. While their separate presentations were all informa- tive and somewhat revealing, | question the point of having a panel of presenters, especially when dealing with an issue of cultural collision between diverse rep- resentatives, when there is so little interaction or debate between them. Still, perhaps | was too distracted to appreciate the real weight of their presentations as there were certainly points when | wasn’t following along, especially during Clarke’s accelerated speech. Kekeli Afri D n n I Thursday, during the lunch break between panels, the Meeting Place played host to the African drum ensemble known as Kekeli. Giving a varied perfor- mance of customary dance routines and the fast paced rhythm of West African traditional drums, Kekeli consists of percussionists and dancers who live and breathe African music. The incomparable Kwasi Dunyo, winner of a Music Africa award for Outstanding Traditional Performance, was trained in the tradition of the great master drummers.of West Africa. He has taught and performed throughout Canada, the United States, and Bermuda and is currently teaching in the University of Toronto’s World Music Program. Their performance was entertaining and energetic and attracted a large crowd around the overlooking walkways. It even had a few people dancing in front of the stage (okay, so they were probably only seven years old... they were still dancing). As one of the official sponsors of the drummers’ presentation, The Underground is prepared to take full credit for sponsor- ing the great performance of these consummate musi- cians. i : _http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 15 The Underground Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) So | take a short absence and suddenly the mailbox explodes. Well I’m back now to defend my thorny crown, so away we go! First | must respond to a reader that sent in a letter in regards to my column about lovely, lovely Legolas: Re: A Late Response to “My Elvish Love” ivel, While | promise not to go easy on you, | would like to express my deepest thanks. You have proven to me that the student body isn’t 100% apathetic. | appreciate the fact that you have an opinion that you want to express, even if it isn’t the same as mine (but you're forgiven for that oversight. Although you are not forgiven for not mentioning that Legolas is hot). In response to your letter, | shall go in order. Let me say right off that | have indeed read the trilogy and used both the books and the films as references. | used the films partially because the filmmaker’s interpretations of the text were very close to mine. To start with Gimli, | never said anything in the article about him being clumsy. | didn’t because that only existed in the films and not the novel. | only used references that were contained in both the films and the books. As for him being strong, rugged, and brave as you put it, these are things that | never questioned in the article either. Indeed Gimli is strong and brave. As far as the Elves relationship with the dwarves, there are many instances within the context of the novel where the elves are highly discriminatory to Gimli simply because he is a Dwarf. He is at first not allowed in to the forest of Lothlorien because he is a Dwarf, and then when is allowed, he is forced to go in blindfolded. When Aragorn mentions to the Elf guards that he is a Dwarf sends them in to a fury. | feel that perhaps you need to re-read my article because it seems that you have misinterpreted some of what | said. In regard to my general perception of the characters being representational of specific races, | feel that you are being a bit too idealistic. Yes we do live in a hier- archical society, and Tolkien created a wonderful metaphor for that. As | said in the article, these aren't my views, just what | perceived from the text, and subsequently the films. | don’t have hierarchical views as you seem to think, but | do think that like you, Tolkien was aware that our society creates that kind of system when it comes to perceptions of races and religions. | understand if you can’t see any of the resem- blance between the races in the novel and real life. It’s pretty hard thing to come to terms with the fact that these divisions really exist. We don't really want to admit to each other that we so much bigotry and discrimination. So | understand why it isn’t apparent to you, or many others that I’ve talked to, but | do feel that it’s being a bit naive to say that it isn’t there. However | concede one thing to you. Yes | did indeed conveniently leave out cer- tain races. This wasn’t to be sneaky, or to have the article cater to me, it was simply because | am still mulling over certain ideas about the characters that | didn’t mention. At the moment for instance, | am leaning towards the idea of the Orcs representing the impoverished classes. | do think however, that you may very well be on to some- thing with your Hobbit idea. It does sort of have a “meek shall inherit the Earth” ring to it, and it might very well be true that the Hobbits were meant to represent innocence becoming the knowledge that will lead the world to peace. Bear in mind that | am certainly not the first person to see these divisions in the text (as | found out later), however | do feel that they exist. So | recommend you take another look at the novel and think on what | proposed. Thanx beyond belief for your opinion, | will do my best to keep providing you with a cure for your laziocis. In the time that | wasn’t writing | took a liking to drawing comics in this paper. Well one gentleman didn’t take kindly to my comic in the last issue of The Underground, entitled “Fenris: Demon Child”. What follows is the original email sent to The Underground, followed by my email conversation with the writer: Hello, | often read your newspaper when | come to school, and this week | found quiet possibly the most untasteful comic | have seen yet. On the bottom of page 13, a comic created by Andrew Epstein showed appaling anti-Semetic sentiments which |, as a Jew, found to be very discouraging. In this comic strip, which had absolutely no theme or natural flow as most comics should, a man professes to kill Jesus, and then is interupted by a man who obviously appears to be a Jew (with the Star of David, long beard and blaack hat, very sterotypical) says “Oy Boys, | hate to break it to you, but we did that already” (kill Jesus). The comic strip then continues on with some figure, | have absolutely no idea what it is, attacking a Star of David, and the in the last box appears to be something that | do not want to know what it is. This comic strip exhalts the idea the Jews killed Jesus Christ, which is one of the oldest and most common anti-Semetic thoughts ever, and has been the catalyst to countless numbers of attacks on Jews around the world in past centuries. The fact that Jews killed Jesus is not true- in fact, evidence suggests that Romans killed Jesus, yet this is besides the point. A cartoon like this would normally appear in a KKK newspaper, not a student run Univeristy newspaper in a campus that is the most cultarally diverse in the country. Following this letter, | will follow up on future issues of the Underground and hope to see a written statement made by the editor apologizing for this cartoon. If | notice that no action is taken by the newspaper to apologize for the cartoon soon, | will defi- netelly take this matter to higher authorities on this campus, including the Dean and the Police. Do not consider this a threat, rather consider this a warming, that there are students on this campus who are watching closely for any discrimination directed towards them, and that they will act on the initiative to expose it and show the campus community any discrimination towards them. If you have any questions for me, do not hesitate to ask by email. | have no interst in meeting with any member of this newspaper, all | ask for is a written apology made by the editor for this tasteless, anti-Semetic and disusting cartoon printed in your newspaper. As mentioned above, if this is not done soon, | will take this matter to other authorities on the campus: J. Konig Mr. Konig, My name is Andrew Epstein | am the author of the comic, which you complained about to the underground, and | feel you have misinterpreted my intentions. As you may have guessed | was born in to a Jewish family. | was bar-mitzvahed, date a Jewish girl, and am familiar with most aspects of the faith, even though | am non-practicing. | was also Vice-President of the Greater Toronto Area Council of the B'nai B’rith Youth Organization for young Jews, and was President of the oldest chap- ter in the city. | am writing to you (on my own accord) to let you know that you have completely misunderstood my comic. First off bear in mind that comics do not need a “natural flow” as you put it. There are many abstract comic strips in and around the various U of T campus papers. As far as theme goes | was making a few comments and | will explain them to you. The comic was mostly a play on Jewish humour. | was raised listening people such as Jackie Mason, Mel Brooks, and Red Skeleton. The reason is that he sees that the two main characters of the comic are foolish. They are not supposed to be exalted or emulated. | don’t know why anyone would see those characters and then think that | meant them to be looked up to. The next idea presented is that hate is interchangeable and therefore pointless. When the two characters realize that they can’t kill Jesus, they turn around and threaten the Jew. Their racial hatred is blind, like most radical racists. They hate because it gives them a purpose, so it doesn’t really matter who they oppress as long as someone is being oppressed. Again, | don’t see why one would think that | am promoting this kind of behaviour, when in fact | am making fun of people who would act that way. The act of these characters smashing the magen david, is meant to rep- resent the interchangeable nature of their blind hatred, as they were just as willing to attack christianity just a second before that. Now as far as Jews killing Jesus go. First off | don’t even believe in the existence of Jesus let alone his death. But killing Jesus is something I’ve been accused of countless times when | attended a christian school for 6 years. Again | was making fun of the ridiculousness of that accusation. It’s silly and pointless, and I’m showing just how ridiculous it sounds to blame a culture for your past. It fits in with all those dumb statements such as “arabs are terrorists”, it just doesn’t make any sense, and this is what I’ve tried to show. As for your comments on my final panel, | am quite baffled. Every Passover | am 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ‘ Life forced to undergo exposure to Gefilte Fish. | hate the stuff, almost more than any other food. So | just drew a rotten plate of gefilte fish. | don’t know what you thought it was, but no one else seems to be unsure about it, including students and parents. | am shocked that you seem to be offended by that frame. Finally you had a problem with the “stereotypical” look of the jew in my comic. | ask you whether you've even visited the jewish areas of Toronto along Bathurst St. For years while journeying to Bathurst Jewish Centre I’ve observed Toronto and North York's hasidic jewish population. | hate to break it to you but the men all have long beards and black hats. | drew what | felt was an actual representation of a hasidic jewish man. Why did | choose that specifically? | choose it because many, many people on this campus don’t even know what a jew is. I’ve encountered so many people who know so little about other cultures, that they think jews worship jesus. So in a sense | had to “dumb it down” a bit, so that uncultured people may understand. | drew a comic that was meant to shock yes, but it was also meant as a statement against mindless hatred and oppression, with a couple of inside Jewish jokes to pay my own little homage to jewish comedy. | don’t care whether or not you think it’s funny, but | only ask that you re-consider the comic and ask yourself why you were offended. | meant to shock, but shock only means that you want people to think about why they are shocked. Perhaps it was a bit too subtle for the general population, but if we handle things with kid gloves all the time, then we won't make any progress. | am not angered by your reaction, | only wish to expose the truth in my state- ment. ; Andrew C. Epstein Hi, Thanks for the quick response, and | can say that things are cleared up now. First of all, | would like to say that your last name did ring a Jewish tone in my head, which is what made my initial thoughts so bizare. There aren’t to many of us at Scarborough campus, so its great to see that | am talking to one. My only response is that | would recommend you print your reply to me in the next issue, So as to clear up any other confusions anyone else might have had. You see, you did not write any of your intentions, as good as they may be, in the comic, or rather even had no metaphors or shit like that to symbolize what your intentions are when making that comic. Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Any joe shmoe off the street (or in this case in the halls) would see this comic as some flagrant anti-Semetic joke, as | did. So maybe you should let the audience know what your intentions are when you draw a cartoon like this. In responce to have | ever been to Jewish areas of T.O., yes of course | have. | was born in Israel, so | have a pretty clear understanding about Judaism and such. Since you are Bnai Brith you might know of Hashomer Hatzair- | am the head of HH in Toronto. Anyways, thanks for clearing up what | had thought about the comic. | would still suggest that you guys at the underground write something short about the intentions of the comic, because underneath it all it is good. Jonny Jonny, | vehemently disagree with you on the idea of printing my intentions along with my comic. | think that explaining the point of my work before anyone sees it defeats the purpose of creating art. While | appreciate your position in terms of other people misunderstanding, | would rather have everyone in the world misunderstand my comics, before | would compromise my artistic intentions. | give no religion or religious organization my affiliation as | feel that the movement towards religion only breeds hatred and misunderstanding. However | long for peace and tolerance between all faiths, sects, sexual persuasions, etc. But | feel that move- ment away from religion will help us understand each other better. If any of my comics have religious connotations, then that is the message I’m trying to get out. | want to make it clear to you, that while | don’t share your views, | respect your position, and appreciate the fact that you have an opinion at all, as most people on this campus are horribly apathetic. Andrew Phew! Well that’s all the time | have for this week. But the mailbag is empty now, so please if you have an opinion then send it on in. | will give it full attention. Until next week, Andrew HRY HAWAHAL Now twit ‘i SLICE You! Andrew Epstein eee een as http:/Avww.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ tis age tw t , ; sid A eTeOel5)-\ fo} Je] (719 MRRP etch th) phe ME Rees 0 ivan ee mee fh ee Mn Me as 2 (At ITE EDEN ho Te. i cisiaeaobieoeocllapee Aes | i epee ese Sachin"When | wake up in the mornin’ and the alarm gives out a warnin’ | don’t think I'll ever make it on time...” Hingoo Associate Editor Tuesday, February 11 was a hallmark day in my life. On that day, | braved the blistering cold and navigated the labyrinth that is York University before ending up in one of their two food courts to witness a spectacle the likes of which | thought I’d never see in my lifetime. It is a sight to see — over a hundred York stu- dents (and me) crammed alongside Mr Greek, Taco Bell, and other fatty franchises in anticipa- tion of what is to follow. The scene reminds me of one from my childhood, waiting patiently with my parents in a Toys R Us for one David Hasselhoff during his Knight Rider days. Oh, the memories. But before | get the chance to reminisces, the man himself appears. Introduced as “Dustin Diamond” for some reason, Screech takes the stage, hunching only slightly to a mixture of laughter, hollers, and pro- fanity from the still-amassing crowd. He greets us, not with his signature happy-go-lucky “hey Mister Belliiilding”, but with “what's up, fuckers?” I’m shocked, to say the least. Profanity from Screech? I’m not sure | like where this is going. Screech “entertains” us with some pretty obscene stand-up that is only moderately funny because it’s coming from the mouth of that kid from Saved By The Bell. Finally, after much too long, he decides to take questions from the audience. Screech is evidently the only one who is surprised that the first ten questions are all related to Saved By The Bell. The dialogue, from what | can remember, went something like this: GUY WITH AFRO: Hey Screech, what was the deal with Jessie being addicted to those caffeine pills, man? SCREECH .: | really don’t know. | was just read- ing a script. GIRL WITH GLASSES: Screech, do you remember the time you had that party at your house and Zach broke your mom's statue of Elvis? SCREECH: My name is Dustin, and that never really happened. Next question? This goes on for nearly an hour. Screech gets more and more upset as the Q and A continues, with mention only of Saved By the Bell. Apparently, he has done several projects, including eighteen movies, since the end of the series. Have you seen any of them? Me neither. Eventually, the thrill begins to wear thin and we leave, but not without a picture and an autograph from Screech, who, let’s be honest, is no Avril Lavigne . After all, the next time you see this guy on TY, it'll probably have something to do with him exposing himself in a public place. Go forth, brave hero, and make me proud. rn NS ENN ne Sse nt eves ai DO NEw rv orient mes dominance Ae ee 18 http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life * University of Toronto at Scarborough Police » Summary of INCIDENTS University of Toronto Police at Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Toronto, ON M1C 1A4 Telephone: (416) 287-7398 Fax: (416) 287-7641 E-Mail: police@scar.utoronto.ca In keeping with our community policing philosophy, the following occurrences are being brought to the attention of the University Of Toronto community. If you have questions or information about any of these incidents, please do not hesitate to contact the Duty Corporal at (416) 287-7398. Date: February 21, 2003 SUMMARY OF INCIDENTS Feb. 14/03 @ 6:50 am; UTSC Police investigated a motorist for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0802-009 Feb. 14/03 @ 8:58 am; UTSC Police investigated a motorist for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0802-010 Feb. 14/03 @ 12:01 pm; UTSC Police issued a male a Provincial Offence Notice for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0802-011 Feb. 14/03 @ 12:18 pm; UTSC Police issued a female a Provincial Offence Notice for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0802-012 Feb. 14/03 @ 4:44 pm am; UTSC Police investigated a motorist for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0802-013 Feb. 15/03 @ 2:30 pm; UTSC Police responded to a Phase 2 residence unit for a medical call. A female student was transported to hospital for treatment. Ref: 03-001-200G-008 Feb. 17/03 @ 4:30 pm; A female motorist reported that her vehicle had been damaged while parked in the outer Overflow parking lot. Damage approx. $900. Ref: 03-711-0251-005 . — Feb. 18/03 @ 9: 45 am; A female motorist Fepo rt her vehicle had Ref: 03-711-0701-006 Feb. 18/03 @ 10:25 am; UTSC Paice respondedte ‘an intrusion alarm o the 2nd level of the Science Buydng The ratte determined to be false. Ref: 03-31 a from a 3rd level Bladen ane stydy room. Value approx. $40 Ref: 03-430-200B-006 / / _ Feb. 19/03 @ 12:45 afh; UTSC Police investigated a motor vehiéle collision on the south [esidence Ring Road,,Bath drivers were ad vised to attend a Collision Reporting Centre. ff wt Ref: 03-71 0-0802-004 / L ‘ | Feb. 19/03 @ 9:14 a 7 UTSC Police see to an radbeg fom on the. 2nd level of the uk Building. The alarm Se false. 4 Ref: 03-35 a ‘ THEE Feb. 19/03 @ 2:20 pm harassment. Suspect male review. ‘ Ref: 03-006-0701-001 \ female UTSC student filed a compldaigt of sexual, known, Peete Student Code of Cofiedyct Wednesday, February 26, 2003 call for nominations COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH and PLANNING AND BUDGET COMMITTEE 2003 ANNUAL ELECTIONS Nominations are invited for candidates to fill undergraduate student vacancies on Council of the University of Toronto at Scarborough and Planning and Budget Committee for the 2003/2004 session COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY of TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH Undergraduate students: 16 vacancies PLANNING & BUDGET COMMITTEE Undergraduate students: 2 vacancies For the purpose of the elections, undergraduate students are defined as those students registered at the University of Toronto at Scarborough in at least one half-course in the Fall/Winter Session or who are registered in a co-opera- tive program. Nominations close March 10, 2003 Election information is available from room S406 and the SCSU Office (B330). usiness students require an above-av of English to succeed — but being speaker makes this tough. If your reflecting your potential, this poet is for you. Get details from: a Wwww.upeéi. ca/extension orshopkirk@upei.ca & _http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 this issue: The Underground Life Ifvyousknow/of an event-that-might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us/know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca (The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Feb. 26 - Healthy Relationships Workshop in B359 12-2pm (open to women and transfolk), Anti-Oppression Workshop in S357 2-4pm, Media Workshop in B264 5-7pm. Feb. 26 trade: queer things Spring issue launch featuring the Barcelona Pavillion and Vollrath. 9 pm. $4. B-Side, 129 Peter. Feb. 26 AKUFEN Glide celebrates six years with critically acclaimed DJ Akufen (Force Inc.), Deadbeat, Mike Shannon, Tim Hecker and residents Denise Benson and Andrew Allsgood. Gypsy Co-op (817 Queen West). $10 door. 416-703-5069. Feb. 26 - Get a job, lazy-ass! How To Find Work In Tough Times Seminar. 11am-1pm. Sign up in S302. Feb. 26 Cryonics. Lecture on extending the human lifespan through cryonics. 6: 30 pm. Free. Parliament Library, 269 Gerrard E. 416-862-3193. Feb. 26 Get Ready to Roll. Friends for Life Bike Rally launch party and pre- registration. 7 pm. Free. Le Petit Liban, 580 Church. 416-506-1400 ext 30. WORK FOR THE BEST BUSS. IN THE WORLD THIS SUMMER. Avril count p 20 Feb. 26 International Women’s Day 2003 Planning meeting. 6-8 pm. Free. Women Working with Immigrant Women, 489 College. 416-963-4420. Feb. 26-28 - Hart House Film Festival. Featuring known and unknown directors. Visit http://hhfb.sa.utoronto.ca/ gala2003.html for more info. Feb. 27 - WENDO (Teaching Studio at the Key) 2:15-4:15pm (exclusive to women and transfolk) Independent Film Showing (B264) 5-7pm. Feb. 27 SCSU_ Spring Election Candidate Forum Feb. 27 SCSU Social Feb. 28 Detroit’s DJ Dez with Greg Gow and Stretch & Hooker. Element Bar (553 Queen West). $tba. 416-359-1919. Feb. 28 DJ Krush makes a rare local appearance as part of CMW along with Wabi. The Opera House (735 Queen East). $20 advance. Limited wristbands. Feb 28 Arrivals and Departures by Carol Shields. A reading in the Leigha Leah Browne Theatre. PWYC. Info: 416-287-7076 Mar. 1 Eddie Amador stops by the weekly Bang party along with residents Evil P, Dino & Terry, Micheal Drury and more. System Soundbar (117 Peter). $15 before midnight, $20 after. Mar. 3 - Environment Week Opening Day 9am to 5pm in the Meeting Place. Displays from various organizations. Mar. 3 - Make Your Own Monkey Man! Pat Venditti speaks in the Student Village Centre about Genetically Modified Organisms followed by Q&A and coffee. 1pm-3pm Mar. 4 - A panel discussion in the Student Village Centre on Global Warming. 9-5. Limited seating. RSVP if interested to 2ndn @utsc.utoronto.ca Mar. 4 Koop performs live, along with DJ sets courtesy of Dee Jay Nav, Aki, Jason Palma and John Kong. Lee’s Palace (529 Bloor West). 9 pm. 19+. $12.50 advance. Tickets at Play de Record and Rotate This. Mar. 5-6 SCSU Spring Elections Mar. 6 VICTORIA UNIVERSITY Take charge of your future with Summer Company, an Ontario government program for \\ h hands-on business training and mentoring / PRESENTS THE SEVENTH ANNUAL KEITH DAVEY LECTURE 4:30 p.m. The Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street West (Museum Subway) FREE ADMISSION | NO REGISTRATION NECESSARY http://vicu.utoronto.ca/alumni/davey.htm Mar. 6 - Environmentally Friendly businesses that actually turn a profit. Talk/discussion by Bob Willard. 2-4 in $309. Mar. 6 - It’s not just vegetables- Organic dinner in the Attic. 6pm- 8pm. Limited seating. RSVP if interested to 2ndn @utsc.utoronto.ca eS Mar. 6 - Keith Davey Lecture. The American Rome. Isabel Bader Theatre (93 Charles St. W.). 4:30pm. Free. Mar. 7 Milk and Goldclub present a special showcase party for the Naked Music deep house label featuring Mauricio Aviles and Andy Caldwell. Inside (218 Richmond West). $tba. Mar. 9 - You suck at learning! Last day to cancel that Winter Session class that you haven't been to in a month and you skipped the midterm because you were SO HIGH. full-time students aged 15-29. It provides and awards of up to $3,000 to help start your own summer business. For more information contact: Enterprise Toronto North York Civic Centre 5100 Yonge St., Main Floor Toronto ON M2N 5V7 (416) 395-7434 e Fax: (416) 395-7444 www.enterprisetoronto.on.ca Deadline for applications is April 4, 2003. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ < . ge i Hip Ge | abbal.qadoxelelm im orsrelcretecn > BOROUGH FEN CEG On average, students who live in residence achieve higher grades than those that live off-campus Living in residence means you are minutes away from classes, student services, and meetings with clubs, groups, and classmates Residence provides social, recreational, educational, and leadership opportunities that enhance your university experience Our residence environment is growing — we currently have 114 townhouses and are opening a new 231 bed apartment style residence in September 2003 WHERE ARE YOU STAYING THIS SUMMER? All UTSC students who are studying on campus or working in Toronto are GUARANTEED residence accommodation for the summer if you apply by Friday, April 11th. The summer residence period runs from May 11 - August 16th at a cost of $1505. Weekly rate of $108.00 with a minimum stay of 2 weeks. Applications are available at:: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/summerrates.html or by calling 416-287-7365. PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT PLACE NEXT SEPTEMBER. STAY IN RESIDENCE. All UTSC students are eligible to apply for accommodation in both our townhouses and our new 4 bedroom apartment style building. If you are interested in residence, please fill out the required forms (reapplication form and registration form) available in the Student Housing and Residence Life office or on our website: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/HowToApplyReturning.htm! Deadline for applying for residence is Friday, March 14 at 5pm. Wi ednesday, March 5, 2003 ee et ee eee 5 Ss eg. Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Green Bins and Yellow Bags p.9 30th Annual Canadian Autoshow p.11 Also in this Issue: Plebitorials p.4 Letters p.5 Events Listings p.20 News (or Views) Opinions p.6 The News In Brief p.7 NDP Education Critic: Ontario still short-changing students p.8 What Is a Plebiscite? p.8 Arts Russian Ark - Impossible to Review, Possible to See! p.12 The Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Veronica Lo, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. Contributors: Laura Smith, Quentin Stossel, Faheem Merchant Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 (in the portable) Phone: 416.287.7054 Fax: 416.287.7055 Email: | undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ , Reviews 100th Window p.13 DJ Krush at The Opera House p.14 Life SCSU Election Forum gives students Groundworks p.15 (A comic by Andrew Epstein.) Columns Weekly Haiku p.14 ample reasons to vote p.16 Life You Dumbass! p.18 Student Emergency Response Team is Forming at UTSC p.18 Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia MIA Gordon Lane Dan Sharpe Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Susie Lopes Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer’s name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). RS The Underground Plebitorial How to put an election where they wont see it Some of you might remember President Mugabe’s political party was unfairly re-elected to govern Zimbabwe. The whole election pro- cess was scandalized by reports of ballot tampering, restrictive voting processes and allegations that Mugabe's party rigged the elections by preventing Zimbabweans from voting for the opposition party. It looks like the SCSU has taken a note from Mugabe's book. The 2003 SCSU elections are shaping up to be way less than democratic. Case in point: The Nomination Period. The names of the nominated candidates were withheld by SCSU and elections staff for the duration of the nomination period, ostensibly to ensure that the nomination process remained fair and democratic. Even the student media (i.e. The Underground) was not permitted to know who was planning to run for what office until the Nomination Period closed. SCSU staff told the student press that “when students know that other students are running for the same positions [as them], they often drop out of the election...” Withholding the candidates’ names was an attempt to prevent individuals from “waiting [until] the nomina- tion deadline to submit their forms” so that they could be acclaimed to SCSU by running for an office where there were no other nomi- nees. It seems like a noble cause, except that it doesn’t prevent candidates from dropping out of the election later on. It doesn’t even really help to ensure that we have the best candidates running for all possible positions. We have four potentially highly qualified candi- dates for President of SCSU... But it becomes clear, immediately, that not all four will be contenders for this position. One or two of those extremely qualified candidates might have run for one of the VP positions if they’d known who they would be running against. So we're potentially locked into a situation where nearly all of our most qualified candidates for the SCSU are competing for one position. Is that democracy? Well, how about this? The student paper on campus only pub- lishes once a week. By the time that any real election coverage can begin (around the time when the names of the candidates are released) there is only one issue before the elections, and that issue (the one you're reading), to make matters worse, is published on the first day of elections. Not only are students already voting by that point, but they cannot truly rely on the media for political debate. Poor advertising; i.e. late ads, no ads, or posters missing valuable information such as time and location of elections debate forums; compounds our problem even further. How much do you really know about the candidate that you just voted for? What if you missed that election forum? How can you inform yourself about the candidate's platforms when the campus media doesn’t even have enough turn- around time to tell you what went on? Did you vote already? | hope you voted for the girl with the pretty face, or the nice poster... I'm sorry that we told you last week that this election was impor- tant. Somehow we thought that students might have a chance to get informed this year, to exercise their democratic right to be heard. We were wrong. There is nothing democratic about the SCSU elections. They're designed to keep you stupid about the candidates, the issues and this school. Mugabe would be proud... Long live the Dictator for Life. Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor RETRACTION Every now and then (like every week), The Underground makes a mistake. Such was the case in our last issue, in which the article “The Laramie Project” was listed as being written by Keith Friedlander, when in fact it was written by Staff Writer Holly Cousineau. We sincerely apologize to Holly and the rest of you that were misled. We are currently taking appointments to be spanked. 7 bil | I Is The Plebiscite Plebian? Or did | just word it that way so this headline sounds clever? Sachin “Demented Democracy” Hingoo Associate Editor When you vote in the SCSU Elections this week, your opinions will also be gauged on the subject of UTSC’s representation to the rest of the University of Toronto. The issue at hand is that all of the current SCSU Board of Directors are of the opinion that Scarborough Campus is underrepresented. Representing UTSC students to the rest of the school has hitherto been the jurisdiction of SAC Scarborough, but the SCSU’s “One UTSC” plebiscite could effec- tively remove much, if not all of SAC’s claim to speak for this campus. A resounding ‘Yes’ vote would make SCSU the “single, official voice” of UTSC students. It is a revolutionary move, and it is one that is supported by every single candidate for next year’s Student Union (if only because they apparently found the plebiscite so uncontroversial that none of the candidates thought it was important enough to discuss at the elections forum last Thursday). | have to wonder, with so many of these aforementioned candidates claiming that they wish to represent the opinions of the students, what effect a ‘No’ vote on this plebiscite would mean to a council that has taken the expressed position of sup- porting it? It seems to me that what we have here is a choice that is no choice at all. To make matters worse, no one on the SCSU is talking about this plebiscite, almost as if they're depending on you, as a voter, to be uninformed about the issues surrounding it. Much will weigh on this plebiscite, even though it’s not binding, per se. A ‘Yes’ consen- sus could very well set the wheels in motion, so to speak, for Mr. Dan Bandurka, current SCSU Prez, to get his way, removing SAC’s influence from UTSC altogether. And even if we have a ‘No’ vote, will Bandurka and the other SCSU members that support the ‘One Voice Initiative’ continue to do so? This editor says yes. Since no one else seems willing to share any reasons why you shouldn't vote for this ini- tiative, maybe | will. UTSC is already distanced from the St. George campus, both literally and figuratively. The sacking of SAC, the end result of the ‘One Voice Initiative’, will have the effect of distancing us even further, and removing all of the services that the SAC provides, such as the Health and Dental Plan. Even if these ser- vices are eventually taken over by SCSU, you probably won't see it happen unless you plan to do some serious failing, since setting up equiv- alent services would take a fair amount of time to implement. In addition, the aforementioned duties would be placed on the shoulders of an SCSU council that, for the first time, will also have the responsibility of dealing with issues surrounding the Student Centre, which in itself will be a Herculean task. | don’t want to give you the wrong idea. The plebiscite is not binding, and voting ‘Yes’ might tell SAC that you feel underrepresented, without necessarily having the effects that | just mentioned. However, Dan Bandurka’s ‘One Voice’ campaign, if seen through to the end, will. If most of UTSC votes that SAC is undervaluing us as a campus and a student body, then the campaign will have significant ammo, and will continue. If, in fact, you value the services that SAC provides to you, such as the Health Plan, Legal Services or Psychiatric Services, then | hope that you’ll consider these factors when you're voting in the plebiscite. Now, It’s not that I’m telling you to vote against Bandurka’s plan, or how to vote at all. | just believe that if you’re going to take the time to cast a vote, or express your opinion in any way, that it should be an informed one. This plebiscite (and the election in general) has been set up so that you, the voters, are barely capable of doing that. | believe that both sides of an issue should always be present when it is being decided upon, and _ it’s not like the ‘No’ side of this extremely important issue hasn't been expressed enough. Quite simply, it hasn't been expressed at all. A POSTSCRIPT ON CORRUPTION In a move that | can only assume is a reac- tion to the allegation (and aggressive question- ing by the Underground) that SCSU has been keeping its voters in the dark, a last-minute Town Hall meeting was scheduled for Tuesday, March 4 regarding questions about the plebi- scite. | sincerely hope that you attended and asked the questions that you wanted to ask, assuming that you even heard about it, which | doubt. It was impossible for the Underground to cover this meeting, since we run print on Mondays, and you wouldn't have seen this issue until Wednesday at the earliest. This is a fact that Dan Bandurka and the rest of the SCSU are aware of, and the fact that this meet- ing was scheduled so late in the election period is shady at best. This is, in this editor’s opinion, the least media-friendly election in the history of the world. | would also like to take this time to apologize for taking such a hard stance (last week) against those who choose not to vote in these elections. With only the sketchiest infor- mation on the candidates and the issues, | just may not vote myself. “India has been denying the Kashmiris their right of self determination and thereby violating the UN resolutions that called for plebiscite in the Valley”. a (OX) NewerZ SInciii, Pine Minisier Of ReKtisicin http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ JOHOR SISO. O10 Oar wa MANTA 4 Letters Wednesday, March 5, 2003 letters What's a debate? Saddam Hussein requests an open debate with George Bush. Minutes after receiving word of the invitation, the White House dismisses it as insin- cere. What does Mr. Bush have to fear about dialogue with Mr. Hussein? If indeed the reasons and motivations for attacking Iraq are justifiable, would not discussion just strengthen the American position? What if Mr. Hussein is not the power-hungry, malicious dictator that he is made out to be? What if the so-called liberation that Bush promised in a speech heard earlier on the evening of the 60 Minutes interview is really a facade meant to somehow cover up the hidden economic motivations that rise from the turmoil rearing its ugly head on the American home front? The whole thing wreaks of scan- dal.. Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist that the United States - under the lead- ership of George Bush Sr. - trained and positioned, attacked on September 11. Since then, the American propaganda machine has been running full tilt, pumping out pieces of evidence to fuel the need for revenge and the _ “War on Terror’. Somehow, Mr. Hussein and Iraq have been connected - yet even the American propaganda machine cannot produce any conclusive evidence indicating that Mr. Hussein or the organized government of Iraq has in any way instigated an attack on the USA. It seems that Osama is still working for the Junior Bush administration as he did for the Senior. Strange how the timing of the September 11 attack was perfect for skyrocketing George Junior’s public support ratings higher than any other American president's. And strange how it all seems to now culminate on a renewed attack on Iraq, a fight George Senior was never able to win. All of this is just speculation, but Mr. Hussein is right in one thing - conversation is civil. President Bush, unless you have something to hide, please at least make an attempt to solve the issues you have through civilized discussion. In the end, war is terror.. Jussi Maattanen Fo’ shame, Underground! Them washrooms is nasty! (Re: Where To Pee On Campus, Vol. 22 Issue 19) Does anyone at your newspaper do a thorough job when investigating a story??? | guess not! | was shocked and appalled by the “expose” done on the washrooms at UTSC. In my opinion (and | am sure others at the univer- sity), the girls washrooms are below standards. The toilets are always spotty, they spray two feet when they are flushed and the sinks are even more filthy. _ When | saw that The Underground had done a story on the washrooms - | was relieved. | thought, “finally, something will be done about the deplorable, horrendous and down right icky holes, we call washrooms”. But instead, you commended them on a horrible job of keeping our washrooms sanitary. Due to your oversight, the conditions will never improve. You are cowards for not telling the whole truth! Who got to you? Who paid you off? How does it feel to let down your whole school? D. Sgusted Editor’s Note: | see that you’re on to us... We don’t do any research at all. n tr :/Iwww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ia Take That UTSC “Big Wigs!” (Re: Letter from last issue...) | should first say that | am not a UTSC student - nor a student in any post sec- ondary edumacational school. | am, however, a graduate of the journalism program at Centennial College. | picked up a copy of the Underground while at UTSC to watch a play. | read, with interest, the article about the pairing of Centennial and UTSC. | was on the CCSAI (Centennial College Student Association Inc.) when the decision was made to join the two programs in the applied degree designation. | was against it from the start - not because of the reasons that were brought up, but because of Centennial’s lack of a good journalism course. | would like to point out that the “higher ups” that wrote the letter in the February 26th edition need a little training in spell checking and sentence structure them- selves. Most notable is the error is Ted Barris’ name. (Not a Borris, although sometimes he was quite boring.) | would also like to point out that the “impressive” list of graduates from Centennial doesn’t quite hold the true story. | won't pick on any of my fellow journalism mates, but I’ll just say this - our class started in the mid 50 student range first semester, first year. At graduation, there were nine of us that had met the graduating criteria. Oh - | should mention that at Centennial, the two year fast track class is joined with the three year class in second semester, second year. Of the three year class, (where 50-odd started), there are less than 10 working in the journalism field. Why do | think that the joining isn’t the greatest thing in the world? Well, first off, as the Underground noted, these students will be paying University tuition, which is a silly amount of money to be paying in the first place. Of course, there is also the fact that it is for journalism - one of the industry fields that is shrinking as we speak. (Thank you .com revolution) It was stated in the letter from the big wigs that “UTSC and Centennial is com- mitted to providing an excellent experience to students in their joint programs.” Frankly, | believe, as a graduate of Centennial’s course, who is not working in the field, that they would first need to be committed to providing an excellent experi- ence for students in their non joint program before trying to do so jointly with some- one else. Sincerely, Rob Brown Editor’s Note: Thanks for your letter Rob. The Underground also remains skeptical of UTSC’s joint-programmes, even given the poor research our reporters conducted... But, we should clarify: Apologies to the original letter writers, Wayne Dowler and Sue Horton, as their letter (sent to The Underground as a hard-copy) was transcirbed by a bleary-eyed Editor-in-Chief at around 3 a.m. The “Barris” typo (and those nasty grammatical errors) most likely originated there. The EIC is not, and has never been, much for grammar or typing. mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters For your information! The Scarborough Campus Students’ Uniombeld a referendum on having the SCSU membership fee adjusted annual by the inflationary cost of living as determined by the consumer price index. The vote took place on October 8 & 9, in the Meeting Place. 67% of those students who voted, voted in favour. the referendum or the timing of this For more information about the results of advertisement, please contact SCSU in room B-330 Pd Cae or at 416-287-7047. The Students’ Voice for Students’ Needs T he Underground Opinion Awa reness ThKYS Meeting Place: March 10, 11, 12 Local and International AIDS organizations, research, photography, exhibits, contests, movies, giveaways, free food.. Speaker Night: March 12, 6pm “Deconstructing AIDS" Featuring: World Vision, AIDS Committee of Toronto, Voices of Positive Women & Polaris Research Location: Council Chamber, S-402 Art for AIDS: March 13, 5pm Spoken word, visual arts, music, dance, food Location: Student Village Centre Hey Everyone! Vote for me for President! © And | can tell you v ff who else is good to vote for... Sa EXCELLENT \ # candidates that a! DESERVE your y ARE PEOPLE |} Too! Arabs: The Escape Clause Faheem Merchant Why can a nun be covered from head to toe and she’s respected for devoting herself to God, but when a Muslim does that, she’s “oppressed”? Why can a Jew grow a beard and he’s just practicing his faith, and when a Muslim does that, he’s an extremist? Why is it that when a child dedicates himself to a school subject, he has potential, and when a child dedicates himself to Islam, he is hopeless? When a Christian kills someone, religion is not mentioned (i.e. IRA), but when a Muslim is charged with a crime, it’s Islam that goes to trial? Shortly after the Oklahoma bombing, analysts in the media said the timing of the attack was similar to past bombings linked to Muslims, such as the 1993 World Trade Center attack in New York City. “The signature looks Middle Eastern,” noted many American news- papers. Experts discounted American radical groups, according to Time Magazine because “few, if any, U.S. groups have the skills used in this bombing, and the car bomb is a signature weapon of several Islamic groups but no known American ones’. An apology to the Muslims was never offered. So now, who do you blame? People tend to think that if a Middle Eastern person is involved, we should target the Middle East, but now that it's an American and not an Arab, just whom do you point the finger at? Arabs tend, therefore. to be the scapegoat. It seems as if prejudice and discrimination are the basis of any F.B.1. or C.I.A. investigation. We don't consider that the killing of 19 innocent students, injuring numerous others, and traumatizing a nation to be an act of terrorism in the Columbine shoot- ing. The Air India bombing, Unabomber, the Montreal massacre and many such attacks were not given the intense scrutiny and assessment with the media’s reli- gion expert, like the WTC bombing. Someone has to be blamed, and governments probably consider the ones with the smallest mouths to be those easy targets. Bush said, “we will target all terrorists of global reach”, which means that Al-Qaeda, Hizbullah, and Al-Jihad, are fair game but the IRA is not. Solely targeting Muslims Is discrimination, and therein denying life without reasonable doubt isn’t just cause. Arabs and Muslims were also killed in the WTC bomb- ing, adding insult to injury would be to blame Muslims that lost family in the twin towers. Why degrade Islam by calling the Taliban, Islamic fundamentalists or Muslim terrorists. When was the last time you read an article about the IRA referring to them as Catholic extremists? If this religion is so bad, why is it that after all this furor, Islam is still the fastest growing religion in the world? word of the week! | plébistite (A. I the direct vote of all electors on§% an important public question, e.g. a change in the constitution. 2 the public expression of a community's 4 opinion, with or without binding force. br httpif/iwwyw. utse,utoronto, ca/~undergn { te ee 7 News Wednesday, March 5, 2003 The News In Brief... New Award for Creative Writing... UTSC now has it’s own creative writing contest, with an award going out to each a short fiction piece as well as a poetry piece. The due date for submissions is April 1‘, with awards being announced in early May. Short fiction pieces are to be no more than 3,000 words, and poetry pieces no more than 1,000 words. Submit all entries to Kristen Guest in Bladen Library room 202, including a cover sheet with your name, the name of the piece you have entered, and an email contact. Volunteer Weapons Inspectors Turned Away -- US Renegade State? February 23-A group of volunteer weapons inspectors, including the University of Toronto’s Professor Emeritus Mel Watkins as well as mem- bers of both Canadian and British Parliament, traveled to the Edgewood Chemical Biological Center in Maryland to do their own weapons inspec- tions of the United States. As had been anticipated they were denied entry past the main gates of the facility. The action did, nonetheless, draw much media attention. Rooting Out Evil, the group responsible for organizing the inspections, knew the team would be refused entry, but went on with the show as a statement. According to Rooting Out Evil the U.S. is their number one priority nation to be inspected, as they use the same criteria as the Bush administration to label a nation as dangerous. The nation must: 1) have massive stockpiles of chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons; 2) ignore due process at the United Nations; 3) refuse to sign and honor international treaties; and 4) have come to power through illegitimate means. According to the activist group the U.S. meets all these criteria. Rooting Out Evil wrote a letter to U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld in advance of the visit, requesting full cooperation, and outlin- ing the reasons for selecting the Edgewood facility. In the letter the group asserts that they have conducted research that suggests that the Edgewood facility is holding and developing weapons of mass destruction which run contrary to the Chemical Weapons Convention; the U.S. was a State Party to this convention, which entered into force in 1997. The Edgewood facility is labeled as being a biological defense research and development center, but Rooting Out Evil feels that the center is being used for more than just defense, but also assault. WISC Washed Up Due to a failure to meet the constitutional requirements in electing an executive for the West Indian Student's Club (WISC), the club is now defunct. Students wishing to receive a refund of their member’s fees may do so in room B320. Any student wishing to start a new association, how- ever, is encouraged to do so by contacting Renata from Student Affairs at renata@utsc.utoronto.ca, or by calling 416.287.7674. Waste Some Water This Enviro-Week Students are being asked to waste some water in order to ensure that they don’t drink any loose materials that will be flowing through the water fountains. Due to construction, and an attempt to integrate the ARC’s water system with the existing water lines in the Bladen Wing and Athletic Center, the water fountains in those two areas may be expelling some materials that have built up in the pipelines. In working with the piping systems the built-up materials are likely to come loose, and flow through the fountains. It is asked that you run the water for a few moments, making sure that the water is clear and safe before drinking. The problem will also be affecting showers and faucets, but only in the two areas of the school mentioned above. Tests will be conducted on the water supply and students will be notified of the results when they come in. Environment Week kicked off Monday with free peanut butter cookies. Booths were set up in the meeting place, providing information regarding many environmental concerns. Groups such as The Wildlands League, Friends of the Rouge Watershed, Ontario Streams, and The Rechargeable Battery Recycling Corporation were represented. Students are being encouraged to volunteer with these organizations, getting involved in activi- ties such as tree planting over the summer. Second Nature, UTSC’s environment group, is putting on the week’s activities here in Scarborough, but it’s all being promoted by SAC, and all three UofT campuses are holding Environment Week simultaneously in con- junction with one another. The University of Toronto Environmental Resource Network (UTERN) is also using the week as an opportunity to increase awareness of an upcom- ing vote. Students are being asked to login to their ROSI accounts on March 12-14, to vote on a fifty-cent refundable non-academic fee for all graduate and undergraduate students. The money accumulated by the levy will be available for student groups at UofT to access, if needed, to fund environ- mental projects. The fee is refundable however, meaning that the levy will be tacked onto tuition fees, but if a student decides that he or she does not wish for UTERN to have their fifty-cents then the student can get their fifty- cents back. Environment Week is also host to a few special lectures and panel dis- cussions, with talks concerning genetically modified foods, global warming, and environmental economics. More on these events can be found in next week's issue. Arts & Business Chiropractic STUDY IN AUSTRALIA Wednesday, March 12, 2003 lpm - 3pm Council Chamber, Rm $403 Medicine Science Teacher Education and more... Study Abroad Undergraduate Masters & PhD Professional Degrees @ ®2TREKK educational services Info Booth - Main cafeteria [lam - 3pm -TREKK FOR KNOWLEDGE www.oztrekk.com 1-866-698-7355 Gordon Lane and (sometimes, but mostly not) Dan Sharpe News Editors brokennewseditors@hotmail.com » http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground News NDP education critic: Ontario still short-changing students Eves ups apprenticeship funding Chris Wilson-Smith CUP Ontario Bureau Published: Fri-28-Feb-2003 TORONTO (CUP) -- Ontario NDP Education Critic Rosario Marchese believes the Progressive Conservative government's recently boosted apprenticeship fund still leaves “hard-working students short-changed.” Premier Ernie Eves announced on Thursday his gov- ernment will double its Apprenticeship Enhancement Fund commitment to $10 million. Enough, according to Eves, to provide community colleges with new computers, machin- ery, and even computerized ovens. “By expanding community college training facilities and doubling the number of students entering our apprentice- ship programs, we will be better prepared to face the chal- lenges [of a rapidly changing environment] right on,” said Eves. On the same day as the PC announcement, the NDP unveiled School2Work, a funding formula geared towards cutting the high school dropout rate and “steering more school students into rewarding careers.” Marchese said he was disappointed with the weakness of the AEF plan when the Ontario Liberals first devised it in 2001. “And |’m still disappointed now,” he added. The NDP would see $15 million go to doubling the number of regulated apprenticeships, as well as making more “hands-on and technical” programs available at high schools. Marchese pointed to recent government statistics which show that close to 80 per cent of Ontario high school students do not go on to university or college. “So many students require more options after high school,” said the MPP for Trinity-Spadina. “lf they had more specialized training at their local schools, they would be better prepared to enter into college.” Marchese said he would also like to see an agency set up to facilitate credit transfers between community col- leges and universities. “Right now, transferring credits is done on a strictly voluntary basis,” he said. “There needs to be a more con- crete way for students to move up, and not be setback by Conservative cutbacks.” Dianne Moldaver, director of Fleming Training Services — which operates under the Sir Sanford Fleming University umbrella — was pleased with the announcement. “Today’s investment will enhance our curriculum and we appreciate it very much,” said Moldaver. “As apprenticeship training becomes more technologi- cally advanced, our students will benefit from having the most up-to-date equipment and facilities,” she continued. But Centennial College President Richard Johnston told the Scarborough Chamber of Commerce -- the day prior to the government announcement -- that Conservative fund- ing for colleges falls short on a larger scale. The percentage of jobs that are available to high school “leavers” has dropped steadily over the past thirty years, according to Johnston, and by all projections will continue to do so. “However, a majority of those who enter high school do not go on to post-secondary and if they do go on later, it is generally to college,” said Johnston. “Our society and our governments cannot afford to have this trend continue,” he added. What’s a plebiscite? — cxitorinchier The posters are everywhere in UTSC’s hallways. The words are bold and clear: One UTSC. Our University, Our Campus, Our Voice. Over the past week and a half the Scarborough Campus Students’ Union (SCSU) has mounted a huge campaign for the One UTSC plebiscite. But wait a minute... What's a plebiscite? plebiscite / n. 1 the direct vote of all electors on an important public question, e.g. a change in the constitution. 2 the public expression of a community's opinion, with or without bind- ing force. (OCD) In the case of the plebiscite in question, we're looking at definition number two. SCSU is asking the students of UTSC a fairly straight-forward question: Are you in favour of consoli- dating all UTSC undergraduate student representation by designating the Scarborough Campus Students’ Union as the single, official UTSC student voice at the University of Toronto? Despite rumours to the contrary, SCSU President, Dan Bandurka, maintains that the purpose of the One UTSC plebiscite “is not to oust SAC,” but rather to make SAC and SCSU equivalent representatives of UTSC students. Bandurka asserts that, fundamentally, the plebiscite question addresses a general lack of rep- resentation of UTSC students withing the broader University of Toronto community. “Right now, there is no UTSC-based university-wide representation. Student voice on this campus often gets forgotten within the larger University of Toronto picture...” says Bandurka. “It has been a struggle for UTSC issues to be addressed effectively by SAC,” states Karim Bhanji, Vice-President Academics of SCSU in a press release. Bandurka would agree: “[A] St. George issue will, nine times out of ten, take precedence . . . Issues at UTSC do matter. They should not be left aside.” Members of the Students’ Administrative Council, Scarborough, did not respond to queries before press time. While a “Yes” vote would not necessarily be binding in any way, SCSU believes that it would put the union in a more favourable position when dealing with University of Toronto’s Governing Council. Bandurka believes that if SCSU had official recognition as “the voice of UTSC students” vis a vis Governing Council, it might have been better able to put pressure on the university to retain a full-service library at UTSC during the construction of the Academic Resource Centre. Previously, the university's administration had intended to close the V.W. Bladen Library for the 2002-2003 school year. The library is currently operating with a reduced collection and significantly less study space. The library's administration falls under the jurisdiction of UTSC’s Associate Principal of Academic Resources, Robert Campbell. Campbell's office can be contacted by telephone at 416-287-7498 and by email at rcampbell@utsc.utoronto.ca . Campbell need not be contacted through the U of T’s Governing Council. In fact, he’s reportedly pretty approachable. As of the time of printing there has been no visible opposition to SCSU’s “Yes” campaign. The lack of a “No” campaign is a troubling thing to UTSC students. Without the real opposition to the SCSU'’s stance necessary to create some debate about the issue, it will be exceedingly difficult to make an informed decision. | Tim James and Veronica Barton Can you tell us what a plebiscite is? We've seen the word, but we’re not really sure what it means. #] Are you planning to vote in the SCSU elections or the plebiscite? No. The CSCR Crew i Do you know what a plebiscite is? It's like a referendum or an opinion poll, but it doesn’t have any power. Nicole Mansey Do you know what a Do you think the plebiscite was a good way to plebiscite is? inform people and gather their opinions? No. Yes, the plebiscite is more official [than an opin- ion poll]. More people might vote if they thought it Are you planning to would help kick SAC off campus... vote in the SCSU elec- tions this week? Yes. Eric Beers Do you know what a plebiscite is? Ameena Hassan Can you tell us what a plebiscite is? Yes. It's a vote based on information that has been presented to students, [the outcome of which] will reflect their opinions. Do you think that a plebiscite was the best way for SCSU to gauge public opinion on the issue of repre- sentation of students at UTSC? No. More information needs to go out to students and a longer timeline is needed to [properly] discuss and understand the issues. Are you voting in the elections this week? Yes. Not really. Why do you think SCSU is con- ducting this plebiscite? To show SAC that we’re pissed off about how they don’t represent us... The Bust A Move arcade game Can you tell us what a plebiscite is? Insert Coin. Insert Coin. Huh? Insert’ Coin. Winners Don’t Use Drugs. Insert Coin. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ eae ee ee ee i a ee ee eT) tf Feature © Green Bins and Yellow Bags The “new deal” for Torontonians?, Toronto’s widely used Keele Valley landfill site closed at the end of 2002, and finding a location for a new one has proven to be quite troublesome. Since the closure of Keele Valley, waste disposal costs increased from $12 / tonne to roughly $ 50 / tonne (> 300%) as a result of having to truck our garbage down to private landfill sites in Michigan. Back in 2001, the City of Toronto established a Waste Diversion Task Force to design a “made in Toronto” solution for our garbage problem. The objective is to redirect significant portions of our garbage away from Michigan landfills and into areas where they can be reused right here in Toronto. By recognizing the large potential that is contained our garbage, waste diversion will help bring Toronto closer to being a more efficient city by 2010. Green Bins The Green Bin Program is the next step in household waste reduction for the City of Toronto, and has already begun in Etobicoke. Once implemented across the city, it will allow Torontonians to put organic waste (fruit and vegetables scraps, paper towels, coffee grinds, etc.) out for pick-up along with their garbage and recycling. . Organic material that would hitherto have ended up in your garbage can now be placed in the Green Bins for pick-up along with your recycling and garbage. About one third of our garbage consists of such organic mate- rial. The Green Bin Program ensures that these organic materials are kept out of Michigan landfills. Instead, they are turned into compost that will be put to use right here in Toronto on farmlands and in parks - a truly inter- nal solution to 30% of our garbage problem. Etobicoke was chosen to pilot the Green Bin Program, as its neighborhoods are similar to those across the rest of Toronto. Naturally, there were some initial problems that needed to be overcome (i.e. using the green bins correctly, or using them at all), but the pro- gram has since become a huge success in Etobicoke. By now, more than 90% of the almost 70,000 homes in Etobicoke are endorsing the usage Green Bins. The result: around 180 tonnes/week (9 truckloads) of organ- ics are kept out of landfills and instead are available for Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Quentin Stossel re-usage on farmlands, parks, and flowerbeds after a relatively short period of time. Yellow Bags The Yellow Bag Program, which started last September, encourages small, local businesses to reduce their garbage destined for landfills, by increas- ing recycling and organics collection. Businesses that get their garbage picked up by the City now use special Yellow Bags at a cost of $3.10 each. This fee covers collection and disposal of their garbage. Recycling and organics, however, are collected free of charge, allowing commercial customers to significantly cut their costs if they play bail. The economics of the Yellow Bag Program make it win-win situation for both small busi- ness owners and the City of Toronto. Businesses can cut their garbage costs, and the City can save funds by diverting garbage from Michigan landfills. Over 1400 businesses have organic carts, which makes this the largest program of its kind in North America (go Toronto!). As a result, roughly 200 tonnes/ week (10 truckloads) of organics are diverted from land- fills and there has been a 20 - 30 % increase in recy- cling. Overall, garbage production has been reduced significantly. Toronto produces about 17,500 tonnes/week (875 truckloads) of garbage. With. the new Green Bin Organics Program in place in Etobicoke and the Yellow Bag Program targeting small businesses, about 2% of Toronto’s garbage (organics) is currently being kept out of Michigan landfills. One can only imagine the possibil- ities once the system is employed across the entire city, and other residential communities start participating. The Green Wizard Program - a new deal for UTSC Rez? The Green Wizard Program was launched by Residence Advisor/Green Wizard Paul Williamson as part of a joint 2.4 Nature/Residence Advisor effort to increase Green Bin usage on campus residence. Several volunteers meet on a weekly basis and go from For more information about the Green Bin Program: www.city.toronto.on.ca/greenbin For more information on how to compost on your own: www.city.toronto.on.ca/compost For the Waste Diversion Task Force Report: http://www.city.toronto.on.ca/taskforce2010/report.pdf __ http://Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ door to door collecting each house’s organic material. These are then placed in storage bins on the residence grounds and mixed with fibrous material such as leaves. As time goes by, the contents of the storage bins are converted into compost, which can then be used right here on our campus in vegetable and flower gardens. Similar to Etobicoke, the Green Wizard Program took some time to catch on with the Rez students. By now there are quite a number of houses in Phases 1 and 2 that are participating by making their organic waste available for weekly pick-up. The program will soon commence in Phase 3 as well. What goes in a Green Bin? Paper plates, cups Soiled paper towels, napkins, tissues Soiled paper food packaging - i.e. microwave pop- corn bags, ice cream boxes, frozen food packages Butcher paper : Fast food paper All fruits and vegetables Meat and fish products (shell fish, bones, skins, fat) Oils and fats, bacon grease, lard Pasta, bread and cereal Dairy products, cheese, egg shells Coffee grinds and filters, tea bags Candy (paper wrappers ok, but no foil/plastic wrap- pers) Flowers and dried flowers Baking goods, herbs & spices Diapers, incontinent pads, sanitary products Household plants, including soil Kitty litter and dog feces Animal bedding from bird/hamster cages You can also use your organic waste to make com- post for your own garden, rather than donating it to the City. But there are several items that you should NOT compost (listed in italics) due to their slow breakdown process and ability to attract pests. These items are part of the Green Bin Program because the City’s com- posting facilities accelerate the breakdown of organics. THEATRE Supporting 271 art groups For grant information, call 1-800-398-1141 INSES NEN, ge Feature Leading By Design Mario Kangeswaren Online Editor This year the Canadian International Autoshow (CIAS) celebrated its 30" anniversary. The 10-day annual car fest, is held from Feb 15 - 24 at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre and SkyDome. The theme for this year’s show is “Leading by design’. Dubbed the “world’s largest showroom”, the event featured some of the best cars in automotive technology to date. Over 42 new models made their debuts, includ- ing the Mini Cooper, VW Passat, Mazda Rx-8, BMW’s 7 Series luxury sedan, and the Mercedes Benz 500 SL Roadster. But not only do event goers get to see these great cars, the best part is that they are also allowed to get inside most of them. Mazada in particular unleashed 9 new highly antici- pated concept cars including the ‘Secret Hideout’ and ‘MX Sport’, which this writer had the opportunity to evaluate for market research purposes. Particularly the ‘RX-8: X-men car’, the model used in the upcoming X- Men sequel (coming to theatres May 2, 2003), is a car not to miss out on. It’s unique Mutant Blue exterior and an X shaped grill made it standout amongst Mazda’s unique brand of cars. Additional standout concepts included the Ford Tonka, Mazda Washu, and Toyota FXS. Hundai’s Clix (Fun Activity Vehicle concept) made its North ft ttp://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ “oe & 30th Annual Canadian Autoshow American debut and featured a unique space-age design. Interestingly, virtually all these concepts did not address major issues, especially fuel efficiency, rather they addressed future design considerations and perfor- mance capabilities. With rapidly increasing gas prices, the issue per- taining to fuel consumption will be key to the success of gasoline based vehicles in the near, if not immedi- ate future. The failure to address such an issue in the design of future cars at this event is probably due to the nature of the show, which tends to focus primarily on two key areas, as mentioned previously, ‘design’ and ‘performance’; not there’s anything wrong with these two aspects. Notably, GM’s AUTOnomy, a concept prototype, provides some hope regarding the use of alternate fuels, as the car derives its energy from hydrogen power. In summary, | found this year’s autoshow more appealing than those of the previous two years, but then again every year is better then the last. In terms of auto- motive design, the industry clearly appears to be head- ing in the right direction, with vehicles being produced for all types of drivers and with their unique tastes. If you missed out on the autoshow or simply want to look at some marvels of automotive technology simply go to www.autoshow.ca . Wednesday, March 5, 2003 left to right: GM Aveo, GM Epica, Mazda Hideout, Mercedes CL320 Suzuki GSX-R4 (concept car) 11 The Underground Arts Russian Ark impossible to review, possible to see! Sarah Barmak Before | start reviewing Aleksandr Sokurov's new film, I'd like to warn you about two things. Firstly, its audience. Since this is an art movie, playing at the Cinematheque, its audience was predictably old, artsy, and pretentious. When | took out the remains of my lunch in the theatre, the old man sitting next to me told me that | wasn’t supposed to be eating. | thanked him for telling me and put it away, and then heard him complain to his friend about the non-regulars that some more popular films attract to the theatre. “The ones at the Kurosawa programs are the worst,” he bitched. This didn’t really ruin the movie for me - actually it sort of enhanced it - but it could have for someone else. The second point is about the film. This movie is like all of Sokurov's movies, in that it’s essentially an idea fleshed out in movie form. So I’m kind of worried I'll ruin the fun of watching it. Once you know where the film is going, seeing it might resemble an academic exercise. If you approach it without much foreknowledge, however, the concepts unfold in a wondrously breathtaking way. | know I’m a nerd, but | felt like a kid watching Peter Pan when | watched this movie. | warn you: if you're actu- ally planning on seeing it, stop reading now. Russian Ark is about that strange thing, history. You think you under- stand history, since it’s over and all the people involved are dead and buried in the pages of some high school textbook. Old men with multiple degrees can argue the finer points of Napoleon's motivations for invading this or that small country (megalomania or hemorrhoids?), but in the end, who really thinks those things can affect us in the here and now? But the idea that history doesn’t just exist in the past, but is constantly with us and is a part of us, is something that makes a lot of sense to Russian filmmaker Sokurov. In his movie, Russian Ark, the characters in it are literally living in history, despite the fact they may be from the present day. There is no science fiction involved in this, no explanation to do with a time machine. This is because for Sokurov, all periods and moments exist at the same time. The main character, the narrator (played by Sokurov), has just found himself transported to the eighteenth century as the film opens from a blackout, and slowly reveals howling snow and a group of lavishly dressed nobles. In one sumptuous, unedited take, the camera pans through the rarely-filmed Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg, bringing us through its entire history from Catherine the Great to the siege of Leningrad in 1941- 1944 to the twenty-first century. Accompanied by the criticisms and sometimes offensive comments of an eighteenth-century French diplomat, the Marquis de Custine, we view Sokurov's army of meticulously costumed extras, as well as dozens of paintings that show us Russia’s peculiar fetish for the West. At the forefront is its inability to either absorb Western culture completely or to distinguish itself from it. Russian Ark is the best kind of arthouse film, because it expands your idea of what a film can do and puts pure dazzling astonishment back into moviegoing, like when you saw Transformers for the first time, except now you're a jaded semiotics student and you want something “challenging.” I'd be worried that line wouldn’t work, except that since you listened you're not reading this anyway....right? Right. en nnn UE IUEEyUEIEInI UEdES SENSE 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Reviews . Wednesday, March 5, 2003 reviews Riding the Special Bus Massive Attack returns... sort of. Andrew C. Epstein pti (OC Window : Band: Massive Attack Staff Writer Producer: Virgin Records Rating: Wier With their three previous releases, Blue Lines, Protection, and Mezzanine, the Bristol collective known as Massive Attack became the fathers of trip-hop. In their wake they allowed acts like Portishead and Morcheeba to take the stage as legitimate musical contenders. But the darkness of their masterpiece Mezzanine fractured the band and the trio is now down to one, namely Robert “3-D” Del Naja, and with him comes the new Massive Attack record 100 Window. Comprised of nine tracks, this record cements Massive Attack as the founders of trip-hop, but makes no real effort to expand the genre. The album has everything you'd expect from a Massive Attack record. The sounds are moody and surreal, while the chosen vocalists create an emotional and soulful environment. While all of the songs are quite enjoyable, few actually stand out on their own as it seems that you've heard them all before. 3-D and reggae singing sensation Horace Andy (who has appeared on all previous Massive Attack releases) contribute excellent vocals, and yet fail to match any of the intensity of Massive’s prior effforts. The real reason to listen to this album comes from the three tracks featuring vocal and lyrical contribution from the almighty anti-pope songstress, Sinead O’Conner. Her haunting tone reverberates through “What Your Soul Sings”, the single “Special Cases”, and “A Prayer For England”. It seems that 3-D and O’Conner bring out the best in each other as these three songs also provide some of the most intriguing and intense musical moments on the record. O’Conner sings more gracefully and sincerely than on any of her solo releases, while her lyrical styling proves to be quite intriguing, like the message of sexual equality presented in “Special Cases”. However, the same cannot be said for Horace Andy who, in past releases, slew the listener with his fragile and beautiful vocals. On this release, Andy seems a bit bored or perhaps tired in his delivery. | highly doubt that more intriguing music would have inspired more intriguing vocals. It seems that this is a transitional stage for 3-D, however, for an album full of grow- ing pains 100" Window comes across quite well. As a whole, the record is wonderfully melodic, and is really made for listening all the way through. It will, however, likely appeal only to someone who already has at least one Massive Attack album. As the main songwriter, 3-D will now have to take Massive to a new place that no one expects, as this simply seems like Mezzanine’s slightly less talented sibling. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to pay attention to it. So here’s hoping that more collaborations between 3-D and O’Conner lie in the future, as it is that collaboration that will fuel the creative fires for Massive Attack. Until then, Massive fans will be satisfied with this stop gap album, but not for long. The final verdict: good, but certainly not great. | i ; T Take charge of your future with Summer | WoO Pe v4 0 a 4 rf 5 i Company, an Ontario government program for full-time students aged 15-29. It provides | hands-on business training and mentoring | and awards of up to $3,000 to help start | your own summer business. | For more information contact: | Enterprise Toronto | North York Civic Centre | 5100 Yonge St., Main Floor Toronto ON M2N 5V7 | ¥ (416) 395-7434 ¢ Fax: (416) 395-7444 www.enterprisetoronto.on.ca IN TH E Wo RLD TH iS SUM M ER. Deadline for applications is April 4, 2003. _http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 13 ie tig it mew wee et ee ef The Underground Reviews The Message At The Depth DJ Krush at The Opera House (Feb. 28) Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor A liquid bass line pours out of the right deck, filling the room from the ground up as a deadly ninja beat emerges from the left. A traditional Japanese flute plays a melody somewhere behind you, as the sound of rushing water flows from above. Such is the sensory experience of Krush, whether recorded or like last Friday, in a live environment. Not content to spin aver- age melodies, this Japanese phenomenon wrecked the decks and wowed the crowd with samples that rippled, flowed, and both cut through and embraced the ambient sounds in the Opera House that night. It was something to be seen and felt, as well as heard, in order to be fully experienced. Krush’s following here in Canada is much greater than | thought, given the packed house for his first concert here since...well, ever. | probably shouldn’t be surprised, though. He’s done tracks with the Roots, DJ Shadow, Mos Def, and Toronto’s own Esthero, just to name a few, and has built quite a fan base despite the often chaotic, dissonant sounds in his music. Krush isn’t exactly that ‘crowd-pleaser DJ’, you know, the one that'll drop some Biz Markie or (ugh) Nelly just to pop a crowd. Rather, he has his own sense of direction, and will get there at any cost. What other DJ would have the balls to spin Japanese hip-hop to a crowd that likely couldn't even guess at the words? And what other DJ would get that same crowd dancing to it? Not many, to be sure, but Krush lives up to his reputation, getting the crowd moving to things like bird noises and weird samples whose origins you don’t have any hope of recog- nizing. While abstract, his prowess on the turntables is awesome, placing layer upon layer of sound on top of the beat, allowing the listener to follow five or six melodic parts at once, like musical mul- titasking. Krush’s set opened the minds of the audience to a new kind of hip-hop sound, proving that there really is some depth to his message. weekly haiku by sachin hingoo Eminem, you € wrong, tele only ad one snohs L would jest K\ LL You. call for nominations COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH and PLANNING AND BUDGET COMMITTEE 2003 ANNUAL ELECTIONS Nominations are invited for candidates to fill undergraduate student vacancies on Council of the University of Toronto at Scarborough and Planning and Budget Committee for the 2003/2004 session COUNCIL of the UNIVERSITY of TORONTO at SCARBOROUGH Undergraduate students: 16 vacancies PLANNING & BUDGET COMMITTEE Undergraduate students: 2 vacancies For the purpose of the elections, undergraduate students are defined as those students registered at the University of Toronto at Scarborough in at least one half-course in the Fall/Winter Session or who are registered in a co-opera- tive program. Nominations close March 10, 2003 Election information is available from room S406 and the SCSU Office (B330). w 14 ‘ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 4 Groundworks Wednesday, March 5, 2003 Pei a a a / 2 aroundworks Andrew Epstein (TLOD) WE'RE Nov 4#TuPip, You DAMN DIRTY APE! HEY! WERE Nor EVERYONE'S §Turip} va r = = oa OUR STUPIDITY 13 RELATIWE ONY Fo FU7¢E—t WHO o0uLD THREATEN OuR FREEDOM Re WE ARE 4MART ENouGH TO KWOL/ ss VE WILL Stop EVIL) WE WILL Stop TERRA. LETS paul Nor, 2TUp\ WEXRE Nor | “Not valid with any other offer. At participating McDonald's Restaurants in Ontario. Offers at participating Restaurants may vary from those shown. _ Make every day your favourite day of the week. MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY : FRIDAY SUNDAY McDeals™ S 6 9 xe ae cng - ic 3 every da Age Ors adel "as pak ye a aa b ba Sh yea PLUS TAX ee oe = * Ee ip of the week. i RES SS See : ' Quarter Pounder® Big Xtra® ; Big Mac® McChicken® 2 Cheeseburgers Filet-O-Fish® 4 with Cheese © 2003 McDonald's Restaurant of Canada Limited. For the exclusive use of McDonald’s Restaurants of Canada Limited and its franchisees. \nexhttp/Awiw. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ S45 & The Underground Christian Lucier Life Editor Life Last Thursday in the Meeting Place, the Scarborough Campus Student Union (SCSU) candidates came out in full force. A very interesting and informative forum was held, where the candidates for each category were given a chance to step up to the podium and present their campaigns. Some of the more popular issues discussed concerned graffiti, study space, and the dreaded double cohort. After attending the forum, | can safely say that this year’s SCSU election race looks promising. The candidates running for President this year are; Dan Bandurka, Brad Meisner, Scott Tremblay, and Carrie Shultz. For those of you living under . a rock, Dan Bandurka is the current President of SCSU. If there is one thing to note about Dan, it is that he is con- fident, and perhaps even too confident at times. He does, however, present some good points. During his time at the podium, Bandurka addressed the need for an equity office and displayed a strong concern for the hurtful and offensive graffiti found around campus. Bandurka also talked about some of the fallbacks SCSU had this year. In particular, he mentioned how club funding could have been handled better. Brad Meisner took to the podium after Dan. In his speech, he began by mentioning a dire need for communication between students and the SCSU, because “there has been no attempt by governing bodies to represent a student consensus.” Meisner’s plat- form is all about consensus. He wants to foster and maintain a tighter relationship between SCSU and the student body. If elected, Meisner plans to have “more forums, newsletters and definitely more student involvement in the administration and politics of UTSC.” Following Brad was Carrie Shultz. This is Carrie’s first time running for any position in student government. She defends her lack of experience, with keen observation. One thing that Carrie notes is the number of students crossing Ellesmere from the Outer Lot and how this kind of traffic is not entirely safe: “A pedestrian bridge over Ellesmere should be in planning. A proactive solution is needed before someone is hurt.” Last, but not least, of the presidential candidates is Scott Tremblay. Scott stresses that student representation is all about perspectives, and he certainly has a lot of perspec- tive. As the Vice President of Students, Scott has had a number of opportunities to interact with students on a personal level. He helped run a number of events this year, as well as acting as a medic for the Men’s Rugby team. The Vice President of Academics cat- egory is just as tight as the Presidential race. There are two candidates running for the Vice President of Academics this year. They are Jessica Mariano and Preet Virdi. Jessica has a number of interesting ideas for next year. One in particular, is to hold monthly seminars where each division of UTSC can pres- ent what they are working on. Jessica states: “One of the best ways to foster a thirst for knowledge, and to establish a sense of UTSC pride, is to be aware of the type of research being done at UTSC.” Currently the Life Sciences Representative for SCSU, Jessica cer- tainly has the experience and drive to fill the role of Vice President of Academics. Preet Virdi’s platform is a bit different then Jessica’s, which is another reason why the SCSU elections are great this year. There is variety! Preet wants to bring | political awareness to UTSC: “As UTSC students, we deserve to be connected to the world outside.” In her speech, Preet also mentions that her campaign is simi- lar to that of Dan Bandurka and Jacinda Clarke, which focus on clubs, club fund- ing, and student involvement opportu- nities. The identical posters of these three candidates are impossible to miss. Throughout the elections, Dan, Jacinda, and Preet have acted as a powerful triad. One thing to note, Preet is currently the Management Divisional Representative, so she too has experience working with SCSU. ee — — —————————_—_ — 16 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 4 pot % 4 There are two students running this year for Vice-President of Operations, Sanna Szeto and the aforementioned Jacinda Clarke. According to Clarke, “The VP of Operations is the chair of _ the committee responsible for allocat- ing club funding.” So, UTSC will need someone with strong accounting skills, which Clarke does. Not only was she the director of Human Resources for MESA in 2001-2002, but also she was the President in 2002-2003. Clarke also has “experience working at a public account- ing firm. Pretty damn impressive, but then again, so is Sanna Szeto’s resume. Szeto is currently the VP of Operations. She has been actively involved with SCSU for two years, last year as the ~ Management Representative and this _ year as VP Operations. Szeto has sat ~ on the College Council of the university ) for 4 years, 3 years on the Academic Committee, and 2 years on the Planning and Budget Committee. From listening to Dan, Jacinda, and Sanna speak, it sounds as though there was some sort of conflict with the way club funding was handled this year. If elected, Jacinda wants to improve the club funding appli- cation process, while Sanna, “believes [she] did a good job this year and [doesn’t] see why this can’t continue.” Only time will tell. By default, Anjali Mohan will be next year’s Vice President of Students. The VP of Students basically organizes the majority of the social events that take _ place on Campus. Anjali already has some pretty good ideas for next year. Some of her ideas include improving the quality of pub nights by access- ing a larger variety of music and better DJ’s. Anjali seems pretty eager to boost UTSC’s morale: “I hope to bring to the student body bigger, better and more events throughout the year, and at the very least, one ever other week.” Zawadi Nyambu, who is the only candidate running for Social Activities Officer, will most likely be assisting Anjali. The most _ http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ wt. \ i \EOTDIS DEIN NBO Orb ee memorable moment of the forum is easily awarded to Zawadi. Instead of making a speech, Zawadi broke out the boom box and busted a move. Zawadi’s campaign slogan is also worth mentioning: “I Got Yo Back.” It’s about time that someone does. With these two students handling events next year, UTSC’s social calendar is bound to broaden. Jonathan Agg is the only student running for Clubs Officer, so it is safe to say he will get the job. He is also the Humanities Divisional Representative this year. Like many other candidates running, he has SCSU experience. At the forum, Jon was questioned about his plans for clubs next year. One student specifically wanted to know what was being done about all the segregated clubs on campus, and whether there will be any efforts in uniting the clubs through events. Jon stated that strong efforts would be made in those areas. There are two candidates, Alana Harrington and Israq Alim, running for Life Sciences Representative this year. Alana Harrington has an_ interesting campaign, which focuses on the Anti- Calendar. Alana states the Anti-Calendar “would be responsible for informing students, about prior class opinions regarding courses offered within the Life Science Division.” It kind of makes one wish there were Anti-Calendars for every academic division. Another one of Alana’s ideas is to host guest speak- ers from St. Michael’s Hospital (U of T Affiliated). She states: “This would provide students with an opportunity to speak with professionals from many different fields of medicine, science, and research.” Ishraq has a very powerful campaign as well. He chooses to focus on academic resources: “The chairs and desks in the study spaces need to be repaired and the vandalism on the desks not only need to be removed, but also should be prevented from happening again.” Like Alana, Ishraq too wants to host guest speakers. However, Ishraq wants to have guest speakers from the Heart and Stroke Foundation and the Cancer society. Lastly, Ishraq adds: “| want SCSU to collaborate and work with clubs that represent Life Science Students [...] By working with these clubs SCSU can better understand the needs of Life Science Students.” Due to the quality of the candidates, the Life Science Representative race is going to be a close one. Last and certainly not least, | had the opportunity to converse with Jeff Rybak, the only Humanities Representative can- didate, and Virata Thaivasigamony, the sole Management Representative can- didate. At the moment, Jeff is primarily concerned with the effect that the double cohort will have on UTSC. He believes that “it is going to take leadership on many levels to help the double cohort properly integrate,” which is why he stresses the need for mentorship. Over the next year, Jeff states his agenda will include “working to shape the evolution of UTSC so that we can take advantage of all the benefits of our campus.” Virata was both well spoken and emotionally charged at the forum. Among his con- cerns are the need for networking and change. He states that “the need for net- working has become increasingly appar- ent in the business community. Grades alone can no longer entail success.” One creative idea that Virata proposes is an international exchange program, which connects UTSC with prominent universities around the world . These two candidates appear eager and able to tackle the tasks that will lie before them. The voting period for the elections is March 5" and 6". To vote, simply head to the Meeting Place. It is very important that these elections be taken seriously. The SCSU plays a very crucial role in how UTSC operates as a whole. If we neglect to take an interest in the elec- tions, it will reflect on how next year pans out. Take the time to vote. Wednesday, March 5, 2003 17 The Underground Life There’s this complex my mother has. She gives in to any kind of sensational- ism and becomes completely obsessed. If she reads something in print then it absolutely must be true. Of course those of us who reside on planet Earth know better (although you will only find truth in this column). So | make a point not to get flustered by what | read as I’ve learned to question the information I’m fed. But leave it to Rolling Stone magazine to print something so stomach-turning that | just couldn't keep my mouth shut (although most who know me will say that | always have something to say). The story | read was on a group of gay men who have formed a weird inter- net subculture made up of what they call “bug-chasers” and “gift-givers”. To boil it down here’s how it works. Amongst these men, the most erotic act possible is to have sex with someone who is HIV positive and contract the virus from them. Those are the bug-chasers, and the gift givers are the men who wish to give them this “erotic” virus. In the article, a young man involved with this practice claims that it’s the breaking of the ultimate taboo, and they reach true sexual ecstasy when they are infected. His attitude on the resulting Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) (shortened) lifetime burden was rather flippant. He basically felt that he would take the meds and just live his life as he did before. But what he doesn’t realize is that the 16 pills that he’ll have to take everyday have side effects ranging all the way from back pain to death (I’ve actually spared you the most gag-induc- ing effects). This guy surfed bareback (a.k.a. pro-unprotected) sex sites looking for HIV + candidates to hook up with. The scary thing is that both parties involved are quite aware of the situation. The gift- giver knows that the bug-chaser wants the virus, and so the act becomes highly erotic for them as well. The author of the article expressed concern about this growing problem and about the lack of concern by vari- ous AIDS prevention organizations and GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation). These organiza- tions seemed to feel that bug chasing was more of a sensationalized idea and not a real problem. Actually | think they have the right idea. If someone gives up their right to live then | feel that they are no longer any- one’s responsibility. If we were to just let these people die off then we would have Life You Dumbass! Or The Lord of Darkness actually gets disgusted by something a lot more time and money to spend on the unfortunate individuals who didn't want HIV in the first place. So | applaud GLAAD and every other organization who is working hard every- day to end the scourge of AIDS for not acknowledging this group of dumbasses. The further acknowledgement of this group would only divert precious funds for medication and also scar the image of the homosexual community. It’s not like gay men don’t have enough problems dealing with discrimination, they don't need every homicidal ignorant fool in the world thinking that all homosexuals want to spread AIDS to the world. Some theorized that people turn to bug chasing as an alternative to suicide as it’s not as frightening to contract an STD than it is to shoot yourself or jump off a building. However | think even a suicidal individual would be frightened by the thought of basically wasting away, dying slowly for years, over a quick and sudden death. But this only goes to prove that any- thing can be made to look attractive, just as long as people are so weak-willed that they are able to be led on by anyone promising risky sex. If Oliver Stone and Quentin Tarintino have taught us any- thing, it is that death is attractive and marketable, and people will embrace it in different ways. However this goes beyond enjoying watching profiles of famous serial killers on A&E. In the end | feel it just boils down to the idea that extremely stupid people who make extremely stupid decisions shouldn’t be given the same rights as everyone else. There should be separate stupid laws that protect the rest of us from the idiocy that exists in the world. If George W. Bush suddenly stopped talk- ing about increasing the military budget and started talking about increasing the anti-stupidity budget | would take back everything bad I’ve ever said about the man. However that will never come to pass, so we as a Society will continue to endure idiots like the bug-chasers and anyone else who would throw their brain out the window. The good news is we won't have to put up with them forever. But that’s ok, the world is over-populated as it is. Oh, and in the wake of these events, | just want to say: to everyone who likes golden showers... all is forgiven... just don’t touch me. Student Emergency Response Team is forming at UTSC Laura Smith In September, 2003, an emergency first aid off-campus events, the team will have the opportunity to 18 response team run by students is starting at UTSC. Many universities in Canada already have emergency response teams, and we will join them in the Association of Campus Emergency Response Teams (ACERT). The Student Emergency Response Team (SERT) will be able to be present at any event around campus. A university-affiliated club or group can request the ser- vices of two or more responders to be present at their events. This service will be free, and is open to all clubs and groups at UTSC. The team can be reserved ahead of time, and responders will attend the event solely to provide first aid if needed. This could include supplying a band-aid, or performing intermediate first aid while waiting for an ambulance to arrive. The responders will come to the event equipped with first aid kits and easily identifiable uniforms. As our school and SERT grow, responsibilities could potentially grow to provid- ing first aid certification to students for a small fee and possibly providing 24 hour on-call service. In terms of attend national first aid conferences and competitions held by ACERT during the school year. Many people at UTSC are already trained in first aid. To be a part of SERT, you will need to have your Standard First Aid and CPR ‘C’. The time commitment for the club will not be immense, and SERT would really like to have you! If you are interested in the initial planning stages of the team, please contact Laura Smith as soon as pos- sible so that you can help set everything up before this year is done. If you would like to serve on the team next year as a First Responder, feel free to contact Laura Smith so that your interest can be recorded. If you feel that you could use our services at an event, remember us when you are planning for next year! Laura can be reached by e-mail at 01smithI@utsc.u toronto.ca or by phone at 416.282.0144. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ gy Life Wednesday, March 5, 2003 COUNTERFEIT ALERT UTSC Police have received reports that counterfeit Canadian $10.00 bills have been used recently at UTSC. Be on the lookout for bills bearing serial numbers: EBH 3849272, HEB 2498723, BEH2738974. It is a criminal offence to knowingly present counterfeit currency as genuine. To learn more about counterfeit money, attend the UTSC Police website at: www.utsc.utoronto/police. See the Counterfeit Currency article under the Facts Sheet Section for tips and training on detecting counterfeit money. If you come into possession of a bill that you believe is counterfeit, turn it over to Police immediately. If you can, discreetly notify UTSC Police at 416-287-7333 while the user is still present. If you have information regarding individuals or groups responsible for the manufacture, distribution or use of counterfeit currency call Police or if you wish anonymity call Student Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS for a cash reward. The Underground mote C events an event that aMiGencti(ftom a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) skate by centiine on seei% Small’ with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca (The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Mar 5 Green Economics (2PM, Venue: SW-309) How can companies realistically “do well while doing good” in the face of modern environmental concerns? Author Bob Willard will examine the role of business and corporate social responsibility. Mar 5 Organic Food Dinner (7PM, Venue: Attic) Free admission for a limited number of people. RSVP to find out more, 2"? Nature! March 6 Environmentally Friendly businesses that actually turn a profit. Talk/discussion by Bob Willard. 2-4 in $309. March 6 It’s not just vegetables... Organic dinner in the Attic. 6pm-8pm. Limited seating. RSVP if interested to 2ndn@utsc.utoronto.ca March 6 Keith Davey Lecture. The American Rome. \|sabel Bader Theatre (93 Charles St. W.). 4:30pm. Free. March 6 10AM Albert Moritz. Author reading in H402. Free. Presented by the Cultural Affairs Literary Comittee. March 6 Noon-2PM Tanuja Desai Hidier--best selling author. Reading: Combination Room, Trinity College. 6 Hoskin Ave. Light refreshments. 7PM: Same. Elephant & Castle. 212 King St. W. March 6-9 8PM Victoria College Drama Society presents A.R. Gurney’s Love Letters. $8 students, $10 non-student. Isabel Blader Theater, 93 Charles St. W. March 7 8PM Funk ‘n’ Soul Revival 3. 15-piece line-up delivering the sounds of the last four decades and the future. Revival Bar, 783 College St. $15 advance, $20 at door. Tickets available from Play de Record, Soundscapes, Rotate This, and CD Replay. March7 8PM International Women’s Day at the Hart House. Delectable Diva. Cash bar and free desserts. Poetry, drag kings, sketch teater, b-girls, guitars. And free stuff. March 7 8PM Bauhauswerk. Presented by weewerk. A night of art, architecture, craft and design. Indie- rockers The Barcelona Pavilion play at 10PM. PWYC. 620A Queen Street West (above Rotate This). 416.365.7056. March 8 9PM-3AM Savour the Flavour. D+D Productions celebrates International Women’s Day, raising funds in support of Women Working With Immigrant Women. DJ Denise 20 Benson and DJ Lytes. Nujazz, Old School, Hip Hop, R&B, Soulful House. The Mockingbird, 580 King St. W. $10 advance, $15 at door. Tickets available at Toronto Women’s Bookstore. 73 Harbord St. March 9 - Last day to cancel Winter Session classes that you haven't been to in a month and you skipped the midterm because you were SO HIGH. March 9 1PM Last Chance to see Bauhauswerk presentation. 4PM Video screening: A Day Like Any Other Day in Beirut. A counter-take on questions of lifestyle; pragram of new video from the Middle East, selected and presented by media theorist L. U. Marks. 620A Queen Street West (above Rotate This). 416.365.7056. $3 suggested. March 10,11 10AM-3PM AIDS awareness in Meeting place. Information Booths from local organizations. March 11 8PM Trish Salah (transexual activist poet) reading. Oakham House Campus Center at Gould and Church. Free. March 12 10AM-3PM Aids Awarenss in Meeting Place. Informations Booths from student groups. March 12 6-8PM Deconstructing AIDS seminar. Council Chambers, S- 402. Refreshments provided. March 12-15 8PM An evening of theater about theater. This is a Play and The Actor’s Nightmare. Directed by Paula Sperdakos. $10 general/ $8 students. Tickets on sale in Meeting Place and through Cultural Affairs Office, B306. March 13 5PM Art for AIDS. Student Village Center. Food, dance, visual art, poetry. March 13 8PM art ATTACK. An evening of aesthetic activism. Poster Making and taping party. (S&M?). The Cat’s Eye, Victoria College. Free food and drinks. http://members.rogers.com/ vues/. March 17 1PM Darrne O’Donnell, playwright and diurector. Free, Leigha Lee Brown Theater. March 17 7-10PM Open Mike Night. Staff, faculty, and students encouraged to come and participate in the 8th annual Open Mike Night in the Attic. Presented by the Cultural affairs Literary Committee. HART HOUSE University of Toronto Invites students to submit their names for the position of UTSc Representative to the Hart House Board of Stewards for the 2003/ 2004 academic year. If you are a UTSc student who wishes to become involved in the senior decision making committee at Hart House, please let your interest be known, by March 14th to: Office of Student Affairs Room B320 - Baden Wing For further information regarding this position you may call: Margaret Hancock Warden, Hart House 416.978.2436 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ P } SWatsel.qu-Vevelert = Residence! TY OF TORONTO AT SCARBOROUGH Rive. S245 DENERN eG tc) SS On average, students who live in residence achieve higher grades than those that live off-campus | e Living in residence means you are minutes away from classes, student services, and meetings with clubs, groups, and classmates e Residence provides social, recreational, educational, and leadership opportunities that enhance your university experience © e Our residence environment is growing — we currently have 114 teWenouces - and are opening a new 231 bed gemee: style residence in September 2003 WHERE ARE YOU STAYING THIS SUMMER? PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT PLACE NEXT ane SEPTEMBER. STAY IN RESIDENCE. All UTSC students who are studying on campus or working in Toronto are GUARANTEED residence accommodation for the All UTSC students are eligible to apply for accommodation summer if you apply by Friday, April 11th. in both our townhouses and our new 4 bedroom apartment style building. The summer residence period runs from May 11 - August 16th ateICOR Ors 1505: If you are interested in residence, please fill out the required forms (reapplication form and registration form) Weekly rate of $108.00 with a minimum stay of 2 weeks. available in the Student Housing and Residence Life office or on our website: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/HowToApplyReturning.html| Applications are available at:: www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~residences/summerrates.htm| or by calling 416-287-7365. Deadline for applying for residence is Friday, March 14 at 5pm. nti Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Memories of Kingwell — “Don’t you just hate it when you open the fridge there’s nothing but caviar and champagne?” Although fourth year student Katarina Kuruc may not have remembered anything else about that lecture, she certainly remembered when Dr. Mark Kingwell, one of U of T’s most memorable and well-known philosophy professors, made this comment during one of her classes, about the state of his fridge. 9 The Women's Centre Revisited A few weeks ago, | met with Kinzi, the Women’s Centre co-ordinatior to discuss what goes on at the SCWC. What| discovered was that there are a lot of misconceptions that surround the SCWC. In fact, I’m not sure that many students actually know what happens in the p.13 Women’s Centre. Also in this Issue: Edi torials p.4 =. p.4-5 Events Listings’ p.24 News (or Views) Arts Comments p.6 Opinions p.8 The News In Brief p.9 p.16 SAC Elections p.10 Global Warming p.14 Reviews The One, the Only UTSC Candidate for Governing Council p.15 UTSC Creative Writing Awards p.16 Documentary depicts Israeli sentiment Double Fisting The Buzz p.17 Cronenberg's Spider p.18 Life Litterbugs p.20 phe _ d oo d Editor-in-Chief Chris McKinnon = Nn e rg ro Uu Nn Associate Editors Sachin Hingoo Staff Writers: Production Manager Greg Brown Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, : : : Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, As’t Production James Relunia A ak, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. — as Art Director John Loerchner Contributors: : Faheem Merchant, Parminder Singh (SAC), Karim News Editors Gordon Lane ‘Bhanji (SCSU), Erin Howe, Katie-Raines Goldie : eg ) : Arts Editor Keith Friedlander Life Editor Christian Lucier Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Graphics Editor Greg Brown Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 On-Line Editor Mario Kangeswaren Phone: 416.287.7054 a Advertising Manager Vacant Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: hittp://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Accounting Manager Michelle Ng Accounting Assistants Juliana Lam Millie Ng EEE http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Groundworks Columns (There’s art everywhere! Just look.) : Weekly Haiku p.14 Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer’s name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Frog In My Throat p.21 Diversions p.23 The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The Underground edi _ \dxute “Das If you're like me, you can only stomach the election season for about 3 days, and then you're ready to crawl back into your shell and let the powers-that-be toil away on student centres and referendums and budgets and other things that are drier than toast. Except that this year I’m way too pissed off to just let it go... The SCSU deliberately arranged the schedule for both its elections and its “One UTSC’ plebiscite so as to minimise the potential for student debate (not to mention media coverage!) The “One UTSC” Town Hall forum that was held last Tuesday, is a case in point. SCSU hadn't even considered holding such a forum until a group of angry students demanded that it happen. When it did, it took place at the last possible moment, on the shortest possible notice. But then again, from the point of view of the SCSU, it makes total sense; why inform students about the issue when you could just spoon-feed them a ‘Yes’ campaign that has no real details whatsoever? | mean, most of us didn’t even know what the heck a ‘plebiscite’ was until it was sprung on us a few weeks ago. It all seems innocuous enough, until you try to find out what exactly SCSU plans to do once they've got the results of that mighty plebiscite clutched in their sweaty fists. Most signs point to either a hostile takeover of SAC’s UTSC wing, or perhaps just an usurping of some of its representational duties. But its hard to see how the SCSU replacing SAC gives UTSC students more representation. Looks to me like its just different representation. SCSU accuses SAC of neglecting UTSC students’ voice, but then again, SCSU'’s track record isn’t so hot either. In fact, this year has been particularly poor when it comes to SCSU’s communication with students. For a student union that spends so much money on PR, they sure don’t seem to understand that an advertising campaign, whether its for a Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) referendum or a “One UTSC” plebiscite, isn’t really the best way to go about informing students. Actually, the advertising that SCSU produced for those ballots was so one-sided and so incomplete that it was really more like misinformation. In the case of that CFS referendum, the only information available to students was a series of posters, stickers and pamphlets that were all produced by CFS. Now even if we were to pretend that CFS didn’t have a vested interest in having U of T (and its 40 000 students, contributing over $500 000 in annual fees to CFS) join its federation, voting in that referendum was a lot more like buying some gadget off an infomercial. High pressure sales tactics plus one-sided information plus friendly smiling faces and endorsement from a celebrity (or some schmuck from SCSU) equals one ultra-elaborate potato peeler collecting dust in your kitchen cupboard. I'm not feeling all that well-represented by our student union. Well maybe its time to give SCSU a bit of key information. This may be a representative democracy, but just because you hold an elected office, doesn't mean that you represent us. Nope. That's the thing kids, you gotta keep in touch with us little people and make sure that you keep representing us. Public forums, opinion polls and just plain old-fashioned chit-chat can help a student politician keep a line on ‘the street’. That means you Bandurka. All signs point to you taking a second term in the President's chair. That means you’ve got a shot at making good on public consultation, one of your weaker points, you have to admit. No more executive decisions behind closed doors. Lots more emails to allstudent s@utsc.utoronto.ca. Something else that might make a keen addition to the SCSU'’s nifty new website would be a twice weekly Presidential Diary. Let the people know what you're up to Dan, and I’m not talking about those trips to the Fossil. And because elections season isn’t over by a long shot, there’s still this thing about the SAC elections. Just because you voted ‘Yes’ in that accursed plebiscite, doesn’t mean that you can kiss these silly bastards goodbye just yet. And because we want to help you be fine upstanding citizens, we managed to interview the SAC executive candidates that were kind enough to spend a few minutes after the election forum chatting with the lowly students of UTSC. In brazen Underground fashion, we played some mind-games with the candidates, and found out few things: 1) None of these would-be SACers are communists. 2) A few of them have actually been to UTSC before, and can even (sort of) talk about things that are important to us, i.e. clubs funding, and the ridiculous amount of money we send downtown every year. 3) None of them (surprisingly) had ever been arrested. See page __ for more SAC elections coverage. Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief Editorial | Letters An Open Letter to the CRO, SCSU Elections To M. Dagonas and Whom it may concern: I'm unsatisfied with the question presented in the March 5-6 plebescite, and am furthermore dissatisfied with SCSU’s measures to repair such confusion and discontent as was voiced both at the March 4th forum, and at the March 4th SCSU board meeting. At the forum, SCSU staff were NOT able to A) clarify the implications or motives behind the plebescite, nor B) convince me that they themselves knew the implications or meaning of the plebescite. Furthermore, the SCSU representatives at the forum directly contradicted in their explanations of its meaning the question itself: whereas the question asks about “consolidation” of representation, the SCSU directly and repeatedly assured myself and the auditorium at the forum that it did not mean “consoli- dation”, but “supplementation” of representation. How can SCSU ask a ques- tion that apparently (with repeated assurances) does not mean what it says it means? | would ask that SCSU hold themselves accountable to their constituents, and consider transparency and forthrightness in consulting their students. If this plebescite is about the issue of SCSU-SAC integration/amalgamation, then it is the duty of SCSU to ask that question. Students cannot be expected to answer a convoluded question with non-specific rhetoric as preamble, nor should SCSU take the results of such plebescite seriously, when students may not want to vote yes OR no, yet have no avenue of abstention. Sincerely, Andrew Tyler mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Letters Wednesday, March 12, 2003 From the CRO, SCSU Elections Whereas Article 4.01.08: Duties of the CRO, found within SCSU - University of Toronto By-Law No. 2, the Chief Returning Officer will rule on all issues pertaining to the organization and administration of the elections. In light of recent and ongoing debate about the plebiscite at UTSC, | am writing to convey to all students further information regarding the implications of the aforementioned vote. Thank you for participating in the democratic process at UTSC and please continue to make informed decisions about the future of your campus. days of summer learning As it stands, within the political structure currently in place at the University of Toronto, SAC, APUS and GSU all share high levels of representation on the St. George campus compared to SCSU. The spirit of the plebiscite, while it is a non-binding process, gives an opportunity to SCSU to join those said student organizations as equals. According to SCSU, the plebiscite would serve as a tool to begin to address UTSC issues more directly. SCSU’s intentions are to increase student positions on official decision- making bodies at the University and lobby for greater representation of UTSC student concerns with the central administration. oa Carleton Start up. Catch up. Canada’s Capital University.™ Brush ed It is therefore the recommendation of the CRO that: Sun. Sand. Study. An unlikely combination — unless you're taking a summer-session course at Carleton University in Ottawa. Flexible and convenient. Courses are available days and evenings in classrooms and on our itv channel. Whatever course you choose will fit easily into your schedule, leaving time for the beach, chores, and a job. Everything you need to know is on our Web site. Just log on and follow the instructions, then get out and enjoy the sun. You're Summ er pas on your way to a brighter Session | carleton.ca/summer registrar@carleton.ca (613) 520-3500 1) Notwithstanding the results of the plebiscite, SCSU continue to consult with UTSC students about issues that directly affect them.. 2) Notwithstanding the results of the plebiscite, SCSU proceed to further engage students about the ramifications of the outcome, whether YEA or NAY. 3) That only with a majority of YES votes will there be justification for a mandate to pursue SCSU intentions. 4) These aforementioned intentions are to consult the student body in a referendum next Fall seeking more specific changes to the current political representation and resource allocation in favour of a stronger SCSU. Let it be noted, that a decree by the Elections Committee as of Tuesday, March 4" 10 p.m. found it inappropriate to cancel or delay the scheduled plebiscite voting times. | hope this addresses the concerns of students throughout the campus and | hope to render a fair and transparent election process at the onset. My wish is for students to make an informed decision, but a decision nevertheless. The aftermath of the results will fall to the hands of SCSU. Mathieu Pierre Dagonas, Chief Returning Officer Notice of Elections ~ SCARBOROUGH COLLEGE ATHLETIC I NSSO@l Wale) Scarborough College Athletic Association (SCAA) is holding elections March 26 and 27, 2003. All interested candidates can pick up information and nomination forms at the SCAA office R-240. Nomination deadline is Monday, March 17 at 16:00 h (4:00PM). A mandatory candidates meeting will be held at the SCAA office Friday, March 14.at 13:00 h (1:00PM) http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 5 The Underground Some late comments about the recent SCSU plebiscite, from SAC Scarborough and responses from the SCSU UG: What is SAC’s position on the plebiscite? Parminder Singh: SAC’s position is asking students to vote No. SCSU has alleged that SAC fails to adequately rep- resent UTSC students to Governing Council, and U of T Administration... Are these allegations true? Parminder Singh: These allegations are false, the main problem has been that there has never been construc- tive communication between SAC and SCSU. I believe both of the councils are at fault of this. SAC has repre- sented UTSC students at GC on such cases as the stu- dent Centre, SAC was supporting SCSU each step of the way. Yes, SAC did not support SCSU’s Zoom Media Project “putting advertisements in our washrooms” because we, along with other councils on campus felt this was intrusion of our privacy. SCSU did not have any discussions with other student associations on campus and in fact fed this (Zoom Media) to councils on campus as means of extra club funding. | do agree that 3yrs ago SAC was not in a good posi- tion at all at UTSC, but we have come a long way since. Just as SCSC has now become SCSU, SAC has made significant changes to their by-laws to encompass the needs of the East/West Campuses and especially UTSC. Karim Bhanji: These allegations are completely true. SCSU and SAC agree that the SAC Scarborough com- mission is not well versed on what is going on at UTSC, yet each group casts blame on the other for why this happens. Both groups agree that the system needs to be fixed, but cannot agree on how that is going to happen. However, whatever anyone says about the sit- uation and whoever is to blame, SCSU is the group that deals with UTSC issues day in, day out. The system of student representation through SAC is broken. SCSU is considering moving UTSC students onto the same level as SAC, APUS, and GSU. Of course, this does not affect the UTSC presence within SAC and APUS, only those groups can make decisions about changes within their organizations. What they would lose is the ability to say they “officially” represent UTSC students. As for the Zoom Media item, | agree it is a contentious item. As for the allegation that there was no discussion, | would have to disagree. | remember, when | was trea- surer of L’Association Francaise (2000-2001), being at a clubs meeting where there was lots of discussion on this subject. A number of people spoke in support of it because of reasons including increases in club funding, more money for SCSU to put into services and advo- cacy, or simply because it was not an issue for them. Some people also spoke against it, with very good reasons regarding commercialization, forced viewing in washrooms, dependency on this funding once we get used to having it, academic institution, etc. As a club executive | was persuaded by both arguments and really sat on the fence, | knew SCSU needed more money to operate effectively but | did not like having more commercial advertising in the school. But ignoring my own stance, the majority of the people there were supportive of the idea. That is my experience with the consultation, but | wouldn’t be surprised if there was more. | believe SCSU took the results of that consulta- tion and moved forward. SAC has made changes and SCSU certainly hopes that this works better for UTSC students. Whoever you blame, no one can argue that SAC currently is not quali- fied to comment on UTSC issues. Hopefully some of their changes within SAC will remedy this, but if SCSU were at the same level as SAC, APUS, and GSU, U of T Central Admin would without a doubt be in the posi- tion to talk directly with a group well versed in UTSC issues. Specifically, it has been suggested that SAC did not do anything to put pressure on UTSC or U of T Administration to keep the Bladen Library open during the construction of the ARC... What sort of role did SAC play (if any) in the lobby to keep the library open? How might similar problems be addressed in the future? PS: This is purely BS, SAC in fact was the only Scarborough Council or committee trying to pressure the administration. Currently SAC does not sit on any college councils at Scarborough, these councils make the decisions that govern events at UTSC. SCSU on the other hand as a seat on each of these committees. So let me make something clear, SAC is being blamed for not pressuring GC, so GC can apply pressure to Robert Campbell at UTSC to do something about the library Comments th | clearly f jose the eseon and os year about the le options 1 with ‘only | two optior as, a) provid she to our students until we get a library, o infrastructure such as the pavilion for a temporary solu- tion, which would serve as the library. The response | received by your SCSU president this year, was that he found nothing wrong with the library and in fact he had no problems accessing materials. Once again SCSU was making decision without even once asking: it's membership. KB: The issue of the library was an issue that SAC Scarborough was aware of. A number of faculty and staff were very upset with what was going on, but what SCSU was particularly frustrated with was the loss of all the study space in the library, which represented almost half the study space in the school. Sundeep Singh (former president of SCSU) and Dan worked diligently to get all the study space lost by the construc- tion to be replaced elsewhere in the school. SCSU also got UTSC to set up a Study Space Task Force to make sure this happened. Problem is, the fight was to get each unit of current study space replaced, when really UTSC needed much more study space on top of the current amount. As a result, SCSU was successful in getting all that study space replaced, but there was little increase in study space. Enrollment increased, and stu- dents have nowhere near as much study space as they need. Still, SCSU succeeded in moving the admin on this issue, but not as far as is evidently necessary. SAC Scarborough was aware of this issue and in a position fo secure some pressure on the downtown campus, so it is a shame that they could not influence SAC as a whole to deliver. Maybe study space could then have been better here. Again, both groups can argue of who is to blame for SAC Scarborough’s lack of success in getting SAC to address this downtown, but in the end SCSU was on the issue and with direct connections to downtown might have been able to get even more for students. Parminder has mentioned that SCSU makes decisions on its own and does not consult. That is not true, we do consult, but we also focus energy on delivering services and advocacy for the students. Of course, we have not done as much consultation as we would like to do. This is regrettable - We must consult more. But the issues we are pursuing definitely are issues students care about. Still, we must create more ways for UTSC students to be involved in the formulation of our decisions through consultation. | would also like to mention that if SAC Scarborough is not consulting with SCSU about UTSC issues, it can thus be assumed that SAC Scarborough is not consulting students enough in general. Dan Bandurka, SCSU President, has openly acknowl- edged (in an interview with The Underground) that the plebiscite has been designed to put pressure on student representatives to be more effective in their representation, though he maintains that SCSU’s agenda is not to “oust” SAC from UTSC... Has SAC felt any pressure? What would a “Yes” vote mean to SAC? “PS: SAC-UTSC has made significant changes and will continue to do so to meet the needs of its membership. Dan should be applying pressure internally and should start communication with SAC rather then waste stu- dent money on unnecessary campaigns. If Dan is really concerned about UTSC then what is he doing about the 25% rise in parking prices posted for next year, mind you SCSU is the only student group on campus who sits on this committee and they voted in favour of the parking increase. SCSU has done nothing for UTSC students, parking prices. at UTSC has increased well over 300% in the last 3 yrs. They are already the only council at UTSC that have a say on this and they have nnn http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ oy. — — Comment Wednesday, March 12, 2003 our GC reps to try to stop it s in favour of it, and since th: sl mean that UTSC KB: Parking fee increases are reported at the Planning and Budget Committee at UTSC, there is no special motion to make this happen. So to fight it, it takes the form of traditional lobbying outside of any committee at UTSC. There is no “vote” in favour of it. | do hope SAC Scarborough can back up the allegation that we were in support of parking fee increases, since it is quite the allegation. Of course, SCSU has been fighting the parking increases for a number of years now, but this year is unique. UTSC admin had to go downtown to get approval to increase parking fees 25 percent this year, and 25 percent the next. With an increased SCSU standing downtown, we might have been consulted about it, bringing meaningful discussion from a UTSC students’ perspective. Yes, the meeting itself was open and we could challenge it without official Student Representative status downtown, but the effects are substantially less when you don't have the standing. Just for the record, it was SCSU lobbying the U of T admin downtown about the increase to parking fees. The issue of increasing parking rates was discussed here: http://www.utoronto.ca/govcncl/bac/details/bb/2002-03/ bbr20030120.pdf As of the end of last week [two weeks ago now...] no visible “No” campaign had been mounted by SAC or any other group... Any comments? PS: At this time | see no point in spending students money on cam- paigns. | don’t want to see a war amongst students. | clearly felt that this could’ve been worked out at the executive level, that is why we are elected members. | do have ‘NO’ literature that | will be posting but it will be not as elaborate as SCSU. KB: Although SAC Scarborough is relatively uninvolved with UTSC issues, it was surprising that they could not aid in clarifying to students what the implications were of this vis-a- vis SAC. SCSU was put in the position of trying to articulate what the effect on SAC is, when from our vantage point it is the loss of official representation. SAC has known for at least over a month and a half that this was coming, and we anticipated SAC, because it was losing its “official” representation of UTSC students, to be part of the process @ of informing students. | am not surprised @ | that SAC has come out and chal- lenged the plebiscite, | do have problem with their asser- SCSU should have to do SAC part in informing students. The representation for UTSC students within SAC is broken, if SCSU cannot get the representa- tion students at UTSC deserve through the current system, SCSU has a responsibility to act to acquire proper representation. As for the ‘No’ literature SAC Scarborough has, the fact that they have not posted it is a bigger waste of student money then anything we did. The lack of the anticipated ‘no’ side has increased the per- ception of illegitimacy, even if the reason SAC Scarborough has not done so is through laziness or even better, through smarts - the less they visibly do against this the more illegitimate the whole plebiscite is perceived. SCSU knows that there is an argument that SAC is being weakened since they no longer can claim to officially repre- sent 35,000 students. Going into this, we were under the impression that SAC would provide a distinct ‘no’ side, so the information pre- sented was in expectation of a campaign against it. We had no idea they were not going to inform students of their viewpoints. As for a war among our groups, SCSU has tried to not talk about SAC too much because we too know that students don’t want to see warring groups. The more we are forced to talk about SAC (because SAC Scarborough was not informing students), the more defensive they understandably got. Look what happened. a tion that Scarborough’s system of student Any other comments? : ake over bid of SCSU | and call Deng SAC- A C-UTSC would fall under the umbrella of oe and 1 expanded SAC-UTSC with, it's cur organizations eorge and UTM (SAC-UTM). However, | clearly ogethier would be better, two heads are better then one. Now UTSC will be the first of any college at u of t to get TTC stu- dent passes, if SAC was not present this never would've happened. KB: Admittedly, SAC has taken a leading role in the discounted TTC Metropass success. SCSU, with many other student councils, joined SAC in making this happened. In this case, although SCSU did not have to, SCSU made the trips downtown and worked with SAC to get the discounted Metropass for UTSC students. | would definitely encourage SAC Scarborough to make use of their position on our Board, we really would like more their input, and it might allow them to be more aware of what is going on at UTSC. But | don’t think students at UTSC should have to “hope” that SAC Scarborough and SCSU communicate well so that SAC can be aware of UTSC issues and thus present an informed UTSC viewpoint to U of T cen- tral admin. SCSU has been working on a number of items recently. A vast number of UTSC students came to us late last year and demanded more computing centre hours. SCSU researched and put together a proposal for 24 hour computing facilities at UTSC. This past Tuesday, through the Planning and Budget Committee, the University agreed to move forward on the implementing the ideas in the proposal. SCSU has delivered on this issue, students will have these facilities next year. At the Academic Committee of UTSC, there was a proposal to force students to have marks higher than a 50 in a prerequisite course to go on to the following course. Students were understandably upset with this proposal. After lots of discussion with students on the subject, SCSU lobbied and fought this proposal. Although Academic Committee now has the ability to do apply these minimum marks, SCSU suc- cessfully fought its implementation. No course next year will force students to have marks higher than a pass to get into the next course. All this time, SCSU has also been negotiating the Student Centre Management Agreement with UTSC and has begun the process of creating a Business Plan. We also put out a survey regarding the new ‘5 downtown credit’ restriction, just to find out how students felt about this new restriction. Many stu- dents have come up to us and encour- aged us to create a central online data- base of practice midterm and final exams that they can use to practice for exam time. We will consult some more, but if students want it, we will deliver on it. Of course, there is always room for more consultation, and SCSU intends to be even more proactive. There is. so much more we are involved in right now on behalf of the students of UTSC, and all this is probably a surprise to SAC Scarborough. But they do have a position on our Board, all meetings are public, and our Board minutes are online. SAC Scarborough taking over SCSU is not a good idea. UTSC students have a unique view- point on issues, and that has to be respected. A SAC-UTSC position on any issue could be subjugated by the St. George and UTM viewpoint. U of T central admin needs to be able to get a sense of a qualified UTSC viewpoint, and currently SAC Scarborough cannot deliver that. There is nothing to preclude SAC and SCSU to work together in the future, the perceived animos- ity is not there. We share many of the same viewpoints, the disagree- ment is over student representation. Currently, U of T central admin is not able to gauge the UTSC student viewpoint, and SCSU, which is in the business of delivering on UTSC student needs and convey- ing the UTSC student viewpoint, needs to be able to expand this proven ability to the downtown campus, where crucial decisions are being made about UTSC students. Although this plebiscite has been controversial, we feel that UTSC students deserve to be consulted when decisions about them are being made downtown, and at the very least it should happen through SCSU, the official representa- tive body of undergraduate students at UTSC. Currently, students at UTSC are being underserved by the Scarborough Commission of SAC when SAC is asked to speak for them. If the Scarborough Commission can’t even be bothered to attend meetings at UTSC regularly, where issues at UTSC are being discussed and debated, then how can UTSC students expect the Commission to deal with their pressing issues? As for the interest this plebiscite has created, | am really very happy that students care about what is going on. All our Board meetings are open to the public at large. Our meeting schedule is published in The Underground at the start of the year, and it is also located at http://www.scsu.ca. Everyone is encouraged to come out and give their valuable input into the process. eee eee OOOO http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 7 The Underground Opinion Homework: Working Faheem Merchant Until now, students were the only ones to protest against homework. Parents liked it because they felt it was character building, helped their children get an education and keep off the streets at night. Teachers went along with it, because it was an accepted part of the academic curriculum and structure. However, does homework really achieve its purpose? Most pupils think that too much homework can jolt the brain, and that homework is a complete waste of time. That it doesn’t result in scholastic achievement; that it encourages deceit and dishonesty; teaches carelessness and poor work habits; creates friction between school and home; encourages students to rely on others to do their work for them; and destroys the friendly relationship between the pupils, teachers and parents. There is strong evidence that homework sours pupils on learning for the rest of their lives, creates unnec- essary work and worry for parents and robs pupils of wholesome recreational and social life during their most formative years. An article printed once in the Time said “The teacher who assigns homework admits incapacity, while the parent who asks for homework is dodging his duties - he’s just looking for a convenient way to keeping the child occupied. Homework doesn’t help the slow child. The fast child doesn’t need it. So, why give it?” Not only does homework add to the already occupied and engaged mind of the pupil but also the teacher. Marking for completion, the teacher is piled up with more work to do during their leisure hours. In fact, statistics show that more homework is given to students now than ever before resulting in students trying to cope up with an extremely fast paced education. Moreover not giving students enough time to understand the basic ele- ments of that subject. Homework originated in English public schools, principally to keep pupils occupied at night, and English teachers brought the habit to Canada. A teacher was judged by the percentage of his pupils that passed high-school exams. Many teachers found one way of enhanc- ing their academic record was to smother their pupils with homework. Many chil- working? dren were forced through exams by the method - but did it really teach the kids anything is a different question. In one year, a grade 8 class was given homework for the whole year, whereas two other grade 8 classes in the same school were not. At the end of the year the exam results for all three grades was identical. After studying the results of homework the Encyclopedia of Educational Research concluded by saying: “Compulsory homework does not result in sufficient improved academic achievement to justify retention of the achievement argument.” A study shows ‘that only one - tenth of the homework assignments are checked thoroughly, a student can continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Hence what point or path does homework hold for future generations, only teachers know. And if overnight abolishing home- work would be too great a shock. Here are five recommendations for our current system, which would at least correct many “faults”: 1. Change our whole atti- tude of homework. It should be optional, not compulsory, and be motivated by the desire of the student to learn. 2. | Homework could be reduced or eliminated if supervised study time is included in the scheduled periods. 3. More attention should be given to teaching the students how to study. 4. A student should be taught to draw up his own schedule, how to review his own work and how to do research. 5. Different departments should assign homework on dif- ferent nights and that no weekend assignments be given. Now, is that too much to ask? In sum- mary | would like to quote what was once written by Sidney Katz “Children should be encouraged to pursue education; the education should not pursue them.” Awareness UTSC Local and International AIDS organizations, research, photography, exhibits, contests, movies, giveaways, free food.. "Deconstructing AIDS" Featuring: World Vision, AIDS Committee of Toronto, Voices of Positive Women & Polaris Research Location: Council Chamber, 5-402 Spoken word, visual arts, music, dance, food Location: Student Village Centre word of the week! adjective: 1. Given to the overuse of long words; “sesquipedalian orators” 2. (Of words) long and ponderous; having many syllables; as, “sesquipedalian technical terms” --sesquipedalian, noun: A very long word (a foot and a half long) Usage: “A set of sesquipedalian exclamations.” —.,_rnraOwXO@eGco—e http: /www. utsc.utoronto. -ca/~undergnd/ wVeewiy News Student’s Learn Power Politics Early in Their Career During the first day of SCSU elections last Wednesday some angry women stu- dents set up there own voting box-the “Democracy Box’-asking students if they knew what the SCSU plebiscite was about, and if the student body felt informed enough to vote on the issue. Out of 122 votes, 87 students said that they did not feel that they knew enough about the plebiscite issue to make an informed decision on the matter. The box was set up after the SCSU’s failed attempt to have a forum on the matter the day before the elections. There were about ten SCSU members sitting them- selves in front of about fifty or so students who actually cared enough to want to know _ what they were to vote on. Only four of the ten SCSU members had a word to say, with most of the talking done by SCSU president Dan Bandurka, who in fact merely _ fepeated himself over and over. The only representative from SAC was Parminder | Singh, SAC Scarborough Director. | The two hour forum grew more and more angry as the same questions were con- | tinually being sidestepped by the SCSU. Many students were interested in exactly what issues SAC was ignoring that the SCSU thought they could more effectively ‘represent for UTSC. There were vague mumbles about parking and “money going _ downtown” (whatever that may mean), but the issues were never explained beyond _ that. However, Bandurka was quick to point out that the plebiscite had nothing to do _ with those issues, and therefore the forum had nothing to do with those issues either, _ even though the source of the plebiscite, and indeed the only reason why one would | want to vote “yes” on the plebiscite, was a direct result of these issues that are sup- | posedly being ignored by SAC. The plebiscite was merely asking students if they are “in favour of consolidating all UTSC undergraduate representation by designating the | Scarborough Campus Students’ Union as the single, official UTSC student voice at the University of Toronto?” This wording of the question as it appeared on the ballot implies that there would be no other representative bodies on the UTSC campus other than SCSU. However, Bandurka readily changed his own idea of what was to happen as a result of the “consolidation,” suggesting that more than a “consolida- _ tion” the SCSU wanted more of a “supplementation,” where SAC would be helped in _ its representation, rather than replaced. However, the ballot states “consolidation.” Going even further than rewording the direction of the plebiscite, the SCSU stated that they hadn’t thought far enough ahead about the results of a “yes” vote to even _ know what really would happen if the SCSU did end up becoming the single, consoli- _ dated representative force on the UTSC campus. | The forum ended with more angry, uninformed students than when the forum had | begun, with calls to have the plebiscite question struck from the March 5" and 6" vote, and postponed to a later date where a more constructive forum could be held, prefer- ably more than one day in advance of the vote. Other reasons were given to have _ the vote cancelled or postponed; if the ballot question was asking for consolidation, and Bandurka was asking for supplementation, which form of the plebiscite were we to vote for? Whatever the case, the vote went through. Around 500 voters turned out for the _ SCSU elections, and the plebiscite question is looking like it will pass, with approxi- mately 67% of voters checking of the “yes” box. 72% of those voters had no idea what they were voting on. Wednesday, March 12, 2003 The News In Brief... Demonstration Without Destruction: UTSC Girls are “Bushes Against Bush.” Over 7000 people rallied and marched on Bloor and Yonge streets last Saturday afternoon for International Women’s Day. The event was yet another rally for peace, with people angrily waving signs accusing President Bush of everything from mass murder to dictatorship. The rally was packed before it started at the OISE on Bloor, and no | don’t want your Commie newspaper for fifty cents. There were many speakers and live musical performances, rallying the urban population to march their emotions out into the streets. While it was International Women’s Day there was little in the way of overt feminism. The event was coordinated to voice dis- pleasure with the impend- ing war on Iraq, with some emphasis on the women and children of Iraq who will be affected (slaugh- tered) by the war. More Voting UTSC student Adam Watson is the only student from a satellite campus to be running for a position on the University of Toronto Governing Council. Without Watson being voted in, UTSC students are effectively shut out of the GC. So go vote on ROSI (you don’t even have to leave your house), from March 10" to the 14". More info can be found in Christian Lucier’s article on page 8. The News in Brief is compiled by The Underground's News Editor, Gordon Lane. Conact Gordon at brokennewseditor@hotmail.com http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground News - EQS ee Last Wedresaay, the Meeting Pla hosted the Students’ Administrative Council es See Elections Forum. the candi- ‘St George campus, ¥ cupied with what they believed was the big gest problem facing UTSC students: Gettin: downtown. Shuttle-bus service ‘would cure. tha UTSC students. Students - pr sen tested, to the effect that such a service ha been proven unviable in the past, and might o not even be of use to the majority of UTSC | students. Most UTSC students commute to school and would have little incentive to drive to UTSC in order to catch a bus downtown. — Nevertheless, the candidates assured the crowd that a shuttle-bus service would make © all of St. George campus accessible to UTSC students. Never mind creating services for students at UTSC, a shuttle-bus would just be way cooler. Much of the rest of the discussion at the forum involved political side-stepping and rehearsed platform speeches. The most popular bits were about “accountability,” “rep- resentation” and “increased lobbying for stu- dents’ rights, reduced tuition and increased - financial assistance.” On the podium most of the candidates were indistinguishable, but a few of them hung around after the forum to actually talk to students and do a bit of schmoozing. Here’s what they had to say when The Underground ran into them... Fopan ty said candidates Shawn Knight Running for VP of University Affairs Hailing from Erindale Have you ever been arrested? No. What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? | don’t rate them, as far as priorities go... | would like to connect more with the Governing Council [U of T’s head administrative body]. | would like to make SAC a federation. It is not working as a dictatorship from the St.George campus. It has to be taking input from the suburban campuses as well. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? The reality is that | am an average student. | am a student that is really concerned about my college and my school. | love the University of Toronto, it’s a part of me. Pepsi or Coke? Uh... I’m not sure which one. Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC student and tell us what you think they want from SAC. | can’t make that kind of generalization. Is this your first trip to UTSC? No, I’ve been here a few times, organizing events with my club, the Caribbean Connection, helping orga- nize events with clubs on this campus. We did a formal together. | think that we need to support each other as faras clubs, but that’s another issue. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of Canada? Do you mean the CFS? No, | haven't. Alexandra Artful-Dodger Running for VP of Operations Hailing from Victoria College Have you ever been arrested? [Somewhat hesitantly] No. What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? Get more dollars back for students at all three cam- puses in the form of services. New services to make SAC more relevant to students, like a TTC discount card, ISIC, Health and Dental Plan, not-for-profit insur- ance. And making SAC more democratic and account- able. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? | have an incredibly good knowledge of the organi- zation. I’m currently the External Affairs Commissioner and l’ve done lots of work on the By-law Review Committee and on the Board of Directors. I've seen as a student and from the inside that it's not that easy to get funding from SAC and | know how to make it better. Pepsi or Coke? Diet Pepsi. Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC stu- dent. The average UTSC student is so hard to pin down, because this is one of the most diverse campuses that I've ever been to, and I’ve lived my whole life in Toronto. There’s so many different kinds of people here... | would say, probably, wearing a ribbed-turtleneck, study- ing at all hours of the day, in any location possible. A commuter. What do you think UTSC students want from SAC? Hopefully [if elected] I'll want to be in consultation with UTSC students... But in my opinion, what UTSC students want is a student union that will listen to them, that will fight on their behalf, and that will actually con- sult with them so that it knows what to fight for. Is this your first trip to UTSC? No. | do office hours out here quite a bit. Are you or have you ever been a member 2) the Communist Party of Canada? No! I’m not a Communist! | don’t even subscribe to their philosophies. Paul Bretscher Running for President Hailing from University College Have you ever been arrested? No! What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? Advocate against tuition increases, for increased accessibility for all students... TTC discount realization. And a new deal for UTM, UTSC and St. George. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? I've been extremely involved at my local college- level, in student government. | worked federally with a Toronto Liberal MP. Pepsi or Coke? Coffee instead. Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC stu- dent. | don’t want to generalize, but... The average UTSC student is a commuter. Two, they are worried about their education and accessible to it. Three, they are worried about the double cohort, and the lack of study space, libraries, facilities. Is this your first trip to UTSC? No. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of Canada? No. Dylan Rae Running for VP of Student Life Hailing from UTSC Have you ever been arrested? No. What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? Scarborough issues. Suburban libraries should have similar hours to Robarts. More study space on all campuses. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? | was recently the Deputy Chair for the Scarborough CCC ns osx eS 10 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ News. SAC commission, and I’ve done a lot of work at Scarborough Campus this year and | feel | know the issues. Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi. Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC stu- dent. She’s a female, 5’ 6”, taking Political Science and an Arts Major. What do you think UTSC students want from SAC? They don’t want their student councils fighting. They like them to work together, | think we need to build the trust again. | think that our commission tried to do that this year, but we’ve obviously been undermined in that. We do represent Scarborough students and we do rep- resent their views. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of Canada? No. Julia Monk Running for VP Equities Hailing from Innis College Have you ever been arrested? No. What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? Accessibility issues for all three campuses, promot- ing women in student government on all three cam- puses, and combating homophobia. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? | am a part of a minority group on campus. I’ve been involved with Students for Barrier-Free Access, which is a very new association on campus, especially with the change where 3.0 credits will now constitute you as a full-time student, there will be more disabled students that are full-time on all three campuses. | also feel very strongly that women should have a stronger voice on campus and that equity issues should be noticed more. Pepsi or Coke? Uh... Neither. LICK MY SAC! The elections are soon! Are you weary of all these polls? Does the thought Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC stu- dent. There’s no average student at university... Especially when you’re looking at equity issues you see that there is no average student. What do you think UTSC students want from SAC? Quality of education, being able to get the services that they need without having to trek all the way St. George campus... Just having their voices heard. We're all promoting the inclusiveness of all three campuses it’s very hard to do that when Scarborough students aren't being heard. Is this your first trip to UTSC? Yes. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of Canada? No. Lachlan Cheng Running for VP of Student Life Hailing from University College Have you ever been arrested? No. What are you top three priorities for next year’s SAC? Making sure that students have a voice, and that they are represented. Combating student apathy and making sure that people get involved. And | want to make sure that every undergraduate student that | am elected to represent has the best time of their life. What qualifies you to accomplish these things? I’ve been involved in other student governments at other universities I’ve attended, like Carlton and Ottawa U. I’ve run larger events with up to 20 000 people, like the World Electronic Music Festival, raving mostly... | did that in high school. I’m ahead [in my studies] for my age, so this is something | can take my time with, and work on and totally devote myself to for a year. Pepsi or Coke? | kinda hate cola, but I’d say Coke. Give us a quick sketch of the average UTSC stu- Wednesday, March 12, 2003 dent. The average UTSC student is very much the same way as the average St. George student... They have dif- ferent issues of course, and they have different involve- ment, but the have what all students have... They should have easy access to their student government's information, and they should be able to have a good time here and still have a quality education, because we do go to the largest and the best university in the country. What do you think UTSC students want from SAC? As a St. George student, | think that my best guess that | can say that I've accumulated today from talking to students here, besides the plebiscite people who've been telling me to screw off and that SAC is unimport- ant, mostly what I’m seeing is that they want to make sure that they are equally represented, purely in a mon- etary way, for the amount of money that they put into an organization like this, because they don’t think that they’re returns in any form. Is this your first trip to UTSC? No, | came out here a year and a half ago to visit a friend, but that was purely a social thing... | have friends out here, they’re good people at UTSC. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party of Canada? No. No, | have not... | enjoy Communism, it's a great little system, but my little bit of pragmatism makes me distance myself from that sort of political system, though. As for the rest of the candidates, they clearly weren't very interested in what students had to say, so frankly we aren't all that interested in hearing what they have to say. And one other note, the man known as Ryan Demello, who is running unopposed for SAC’s VP- UTSC and will be acclaimed in short order, could not attend the SAC Elections Forum held in Scarborough because he was at home with a broken arm and could not find a ride to school. Maybe those TTC discounts will come in handier than we thought? John Loerchner -Another Face Director(UTSC) Mary Auxi Guaio Ameena Hassan Sakina Kizilbash Sarah Mak Stephanie Pigott ST of another long-winded speech about shuttle buses or representation or cohorts (double or otherwise) just make you want to curl up in a ball and hurl yourself down the nearest well? No? Then read on! It’s true, just like the joint you smoke when you've done just a bit too much crystal, a good SAC Election, especially the one in which you can vote online (how fun!) on March 12 to 14, just eases the pain of tests and exams and that weird rash. Quentin Stossel Javier Venegas Vice President - University Affairs Shawn Knights Vice President — Equity Julia Munk Vice President — Operations Alexandra Artful-Dodger The following is a list of candidates that saw fit to attend the forum at UTSC last week. Some of them ‘didn't, or left right afterwards. Face it, by not sticking around here for any longer than they absolutely had to, or not showing up to the forum at all, the candidates that aren't listed here showed us just how little they care about you. Vice President — Student Life Lachlan Cheng Dylan Rae President Paul Bretscher http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~underg nd/ 1 dea? Supporting 271 art groups For grant information, call 1-800-398-1141 AS SEEN. BY = du Maurier Aarts ‘ Feature Erin Howe In the Nov 13", 2002 issue of The Underground, editor-in-chief Chris McKinnon. investigated.the le Ca € deme educé campaign isn’t UTS rape, ders conce rathe a8” outraged Nich was able men’s Centre d hangout. enlightened its students ere a select ons article o offer mor little office nteers’ co , | wasn’t Ailing to just ord, and’#@z | decided to out mysel Centre is not mandated to run events, or to impose political views on the student body. According to Kinzi, the Centre’s reason for being is to “Create awareness “of issues among the women at UTSC . . . and to create an environment where all students feel welcome to drop by to for the purposes of receiving information, sharing ideas and concerns relating to women.” There is some debate over how well - the Women’s Centre fulfills its mission to create understanding through it’s spo- radic awareness campaigns. Despite the skepticism that was fueled by last semes- ter’s article, it is important to note the events surrounding a few major women’s issues, namely Breast Cancer and AIDS. “ally basis, looking fo Wednesday, March 12, 2003 QUICK FACTS: University Women’s Centres Recently, the Women’s Centre also held a clothing drive, and is currently running Bla oa -<« Carleton University Womyn's Centre * Breast Heath, Body Image-Awareness, Sexual Assualt, Womyn Care weeks * On-going self defense classes * Women’s Shelter fundraiser: The Vagina Monologues * Publication of 52%, a magazine, twice per academic year Ded drop into th directions to advice. inquiries have to dovy and nearby health’ clig#es. question that sprung into my Ff “Why wouldn't you just go to Wellness for that kind off believes that some s receptive to the idea for help than geéfhgelse\ she put it, teres i People”Co Ryerson Universiy Women’s Centre * Parents’ hotline for students with children * Job board ¢ Film screenings ¢ Discussion groups ¢ Resources Library Lakehead University Gender Issues Centre : * Men’s Issues Week j ‘ * Twice-weekly meditation group hings, like - Weekly assertiveness groups ituations, dealing University of Waterloo Womyn’s Centre * Weekly meetings open to general student population + International Women’s Week (featuring a “Pussy Party”, yoga and self defense classes, a potluck My experience at the Women’s Centre was actually quite positive, con- trary to many things | have previously heard about the caliber of the service provided. | still, however, found a couple of things that | consider to be problems, though | still see the Centre as an asset to UTSC. The first time that | tried to go the Centre, it was closed. Now I’m not sure if they keep regular office hours, or even if these hours are posted somewhere, but for anyone else trying to seek the kind of information available at the Centre, a locked door and no lights on can serve as a rather effective deterrent. Most people go to the Centre to find information about partner or spousal abuse, pregnancy issues, and many other personal mat- ters. The people seeking this informa- tion are often shy and afraid, and if after finally working up the courage to get help find none available, may lose their moxy and take the closed door as some sort of ‘sign’ not to seek advice again. | was dinner and so much more!) also a little disappointed with the fact that no one at the Centre, when it was open, could find the information that | wanted. | was hoping to get in and out as quickly as possible, as | felt uncomfortable asking what | did, so | found it somewhat upsetting to have to wait for someone to find me any relevant information. Despite these two complaints, | was pleasantly surprised by the reception | got when | entered the Centre. All the women present were very friendly and helped me feel a little more at ease in an uncomfortable situation. | was also approached by more than one of the women, which told me that they were genuinely concerned with helping me with my problem. The atmosphere was very welcoming and the people seemed to actually want to help instead of leaving me to my own devices. Although | think that some improvements could be made, the Women’s Centre at UTSC is in fact a welcome addition to the University. * Movie nights and concerts featuring local female The Women’s Centre Revisited eee eee eee eee —————— —————— ae a pe en ee http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 13 The Underground News m ee a 2 : % ? g ; z ro) 2 If environmentalists are right, we are on the verge of a massive global climate change that could cause a significant rise in sea levels, chaotic weather patterns and catastrophic droughts. The consequence of global warming is a heated debate right now among scientists, environmentalists and those who are contributing to and are being affected by gas emissions all over the world. University of Toronto at Scarborough hosted a Global Warming Panel in the Student Village Centre to address what can be done about it, and whether the Kyoto Accord is right for Canadians. The guests were asked questions by environmen- tal science student Quentin Stossel regarding myths, gitosthe Idea pseapsitses facts and effects of global warming. Dr. Bill Gough (UoT Scarborough Scientist) contends that by the year 2050 the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere might double if steps are not taken to lower emissions. Dr. Quentin Chiotti (Scientist/ Pollution Probe activist) commented that even if the Kyoto Protocol is ratified, the developing countries would continue to be voice- less regarding how they will be affected. Although this is the case, developing countries do not greatly contribute to the emissions of toxic gasses, and are therefore, not as greatly affected by it. From the economic perspective, Dr. Albert Berry (UofT St George Economist), concludes that industrialization is occurring at an extremely fast pace in many parts of the world, and this rapid industrialization contrib- utes to global warming. Dr. Berry argues that we have to collectively figure out how to industrialize with much less environmentally damaging affects. Although a solution to global warming may seem unreachable, everyone can contribute to lowering emissions and decreasing other factors responsible for global warming. Dr. Gough revealed that two things could be done: we can either prevent change, or adapt to it. Mitigation is one way to reduce Co2 from the atmo- sphere. Dr. Chiotti agrees that it is “prudent to continue on a mitigation pathway to reduce emissions.” Dr. Harry Hengeveld (Senior scientist Environment Canada) was concerned with long-term strategies to lower the affects of global warming, and the existence of CO2 in the atmosphere. He says that we can begin with getting rid of the carbon molecule in our energy, that is to be energy efficient. The Kyoto Protocol was introduced to the panel for Meghan Hurley Underground Staff their input. In 1988, a panel regarding climate change came into existence to address such issues are global warming. This panel served as a political process to examine the issue of Kyoto. Fifty-five countries were to ratify the protocol, but evidently this has not been achieved yet. Panelist Dr. Quentin Chiotti brought up a concern about the Kyoto Protocol. He feels that there are negative misrepresentations of the Kyoto Protocol in the media. He commented that the representations in the media contain “only a slight thread of truth, but that’s it.” There is no evidence to suggest that the Kyoto Protocol was going to be a disaster as the media has portrayed. According to Dr. Harry Hengeveld, the trag- edy of the Kyoto Protocol is that “while it was intended to be the first strategy to lower danger, it has become the end all be all for many governments.” He suggests the implementation of a fifty-year strategy with Kyoto as a first step. To conclude the “heated” discussion, the panel members were asked to assess the viability of the Kyoto Protocol: how much of a global effort is actually being put forth? Dr. Gough thinks it is unfortunate that the U.S government is not working well with the rest of the countries to eradicate some of the causes, even though they have significantly contributed to global warming. With regard to modifying the Protocol to include every- one, Dr. Quentin Chiotti contends that he doesn’t see how “watering it down to bring everyone in is a step forward”. Global warming is a problem that has taken about one hundred years to develop, so it will take at least one hundred years to completely eradicate the crisis. The global impact of increased warming is worrisome, so the public sector has to take the lead in research to find more efficient energy sources. If warming, and climate change in general is only at a very low rate (a small amount of climate change is expected and inevitable) then we can adapt to it, but if it continues at the rate it is raising now then the severity of its affects are going to be horrendous. We need an international framework that will involve all countries in the fight to end global warming. weekly haiku by sachin hingoo @. always say, "F ye cy body loyes Raymo elite Know har I lave? CAKE. Ye op | ~ STUDY IN AUSTRALIA Wednesday, March 12, 2003 lpm - 3pm Council Chamber, Rm $403 — © meme | en) eee) Qa — Napier, Css eae www.oztrekk.com Info Booth - Main cafeteria [lam - 3pm Arts & Business Chiropractic Medicine Science Teacher Education and more... Study Abroad Undergraduate Masters & PhD Professional Degrees TREKK FOR KNOWLEDGE 02 TREKK educational services 1-866-698-7355 14 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ | News Where no UTSC Student has gone before Christian Lucier Life Editor Just when you thought we had put all this election business behind us, another election pops up. This time it’s the elections for the Governing Council (GC). Considering the plebiscite responses from many UTSC students in last week’s issue, it is a pretty safe bet that a large portion of the student body is not even aware of the GC or what they do. Thanks to a fellow student, | can shine some light on the subject. The GC is in charge of all the administrative issues for the University of Toronto. Some of these administra- tive issues include arranging tuition and accidental fees, determining financial aid amounts and allocations, and drafting and approving the budgets for all three U of T campuses. The GC is the committee of committees, the head honcho of organizations, the wallet, the purse, and the bank. This council is made up of 27 individu- als, which is chaired collectively by a Chairperson (U of T President, R. Birgeneau), and the U of T Chancellor. Where the student body comes into play is the eight seats of the council reserved for them. Four of these seats are for undergraduate students, although there is no rule that states that any have to be from UTSC or UTM. The other four seats are for graduate students, and the same rules apply. Considering all the information above, it is shocking that UTSC has not had even one member of its student body on this council for quite some time. No one from UTSC is there to represent us or voice our opinions. For the past few years, students from the St. George campus have occupied all eight of the student seats on the council. However, the tides are about to change. This year, one student from UTSC, has decided to make it his mission to join the ranks of the GC, and to represent UTSC to the best of his ability. Adam Watson, a co-op management student, has stepped up to the plate. Watson is running for the GC for a number of rea- sons, but primarily because he finds it: “Very important [...] that suburban representation is present and voiced so that we can ultimately ensure UTM and UTSC both have adequate funding.” Particularly, Watson wants to make certain there is enough funding for student groups and clubs, co-op programs, and science research facili- ties. Funding is not the only issue that Watson is con- TEA ELI EO A ESE “| will not only ensure that the GC is aware of the issues, but! will ensur my voice is heard and will ensure that UTSC and UTM students have a valid and informed vote.” - Adam Watson cerned with. He would also like to see the suburban campuses (UTSC and UTM) have a voice at the board table and a more active role in the decision-making processes. Life for students on the two U of T outposts is what concerns Watson the most. Due to an expected cen- tralistic view of the GC, Watson believes that there are a lot of issues involving UTSC and UTM that are over- looked. To use an example, Watson has researched and found that a considerably larger amount of UTSC and UTM students use the TTC to commute to school than St. George students. Watson would like to see a discounted fare for students who use the TTC to com- mute. He believes that, “Since the GC does not have the representation of suburban issues on the board, there is a possibility that issues such as this one, would have never been brought to the attention of the GC.” Watson assures that this is only one of a number of issues that effect suburban students more then St. George students. If elected, Watson plans to gather the voices of both UTSC and UTM students by holding regular forums at a= l tal (parcel ylelarierereiial Wednesday, March 12, 2003 both campuses. Once he has collected these concerns and opinions, Watson will then present a weekly report to the GC outlining these issues. He states: “I will not only ensure that the GC is aware of the issues, but | will ensure that my voice is heard and will ensure that UTSC and UTM students have a valid and informed vote.” Watson appears to be more then capable to handle these tasks. Not only was he the Student Trustee to the Simcoe County District School Board for three consecu- tive terms, but he was also the Provincial Director to the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Watson already has experience defending those who are deserted and neglected, which seems to be the case for both UTSC and UTM. Once again, Watson is the only UTSC student run- ning for the GC. In this editor’s opinion, it would be foolish for the student body to ignore this opportunity to obtain a voice on the GC. The voting period takes place from March 10-14". In order to vote, simply log on to ROSI and click on ‘elections’. The rest is pretty straight- forward. All eight of Watson’s opponents are from the St. George Campus. Enough said. eee eee eee http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 15 The Underground UTSC gets creative writing awards Update on creative writing on campus Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Two new creative writing awards are being made available to the students of UTSC this year. One will be for poetry and another for short fiction. Kristen Guest, who has supervised the establish- ment of the new UTSC Creative Writing Circle hopes that this will be another aid in bringing out the creative community on campus. The prize for winning the award is at this point is minimal. A cash prize of $50 is the only sure reward, and the possibility of a trophy or plaque of some kind is questionable. Still, the main attraction to any aspiring writer will likely be the recognition that comes from such a decoration. Kristen also wants to assure any writers interested in submitting work that while she is connected to the Writer’s Circle, there will be no bias given to members in the contest. Submissions will be judged by two other members of the English faculty who are yet to be selected. Entries should be submitted to Kristen in the Bladen Library, Room 202, by April 1. They should be typed out and should not identify the author. Rather, they would like a cover sheet with the names of the poem(s) or short story being sub- mitied, the name of the writer and an e- mail contact. There will be a 1000 word limit for poetry submissions and a 3000 word limit for short fiction. The awards will be announced in early May. In other creative writing news, Kristen told The Underground that the Writing Circle has selected the works that will appear in its long-expected journal and have begun the editing phase of its conception. They’re still batting around different ideas for names, but they hope the journal will be complete and available sometime in May. The distribution will be rather short as they only expect to have a few hundred copies printed, but they will be made available in the library and other areas around campus as well as at cul- tural events where the Circle is present. The journal is currently expected to be a recurring event on campus that will hopefully grow in the coming years. According to Kristen, now that the initial journal is set for completion, the small staff responsible for putting it together will be available next year to train new students that are interested in continuing it. Hopefully, with a regular and growing medium for creative writers on campus, support and participation will grow. Apparently interest is already very high, as the current journal received well over 100 submissions. Finally, Professor Leonard is organiz- ing this year’s Open Mic Night on the evening of March 17 (yes, St. Patrick’s Day) in the Attic where the students from his creative writing class will be reading samples of their work. Any people inter- ested in taking the course in the future can use this as an opportunity to get a sense for what the current participants will have gained from it in its first year. It promises to be an energetic night and all faculty, staff and students who want to participate are welcome. Are you a BSc student or graduate? Wondering what to do with your science degree? Don't want to spend 7+ years becoming a MD? Consider a career in health care. What do | do 9 © O Health professionals don’t just work in hospitals — many indi- viduals with an entrepreneurial flair start their own practices or work in non-traditional envi- ronments. Fields like Chiropody and Acupuncture offer a variety of employment options, including starting your own practice. If you're self directed and interested in health care, come to Michener’s information session on entrepre- neurial health careers. Information Session: Thursday, March 20, 2003 The Michener Institute 222 St. Patrick Street, Toronto (Dundas & University) TNS TIPU EE For Applied Health Sciences gc 6:00 - 8:00 pm Please RSVP to info@michener.ca or (416) 596-3177 VAAN TA altel al =) a l=) oy ere) The inner workings of a West Bank settlement TVO documentary depicts Israeli sentiment Sarah Barmak Underground Staff 16 What motivates ultra-Orthodox Jews to raise their families in an occupied Arab community? At a time when understanding of the Middle Eastern uprising is so dearly sought, it is clear that the question of the Israeli settlements stands at the crux of the conflict. Ruth Walk’s documentary The Settlers shows us the lives of seven families living in the Israeli-occupied region of Hebron in the Arab West Bank. The documentary, airing today at 10pm EST on TVO (repeated this Sunday at midnight), manages to be unbiased without aloofness or indifference. It simply and quietly records the families’ lives, especially the women, noting their reasons for being there and their attitude towards their neighbours. Predictably (but still disturb- ingly), the settlers are ignorant and racist towards the people with whom they live. They consider Arabs to be subhuman murderers, living on land that rightfully belongs to the Jews by divine privilege. “The landscape is beautiful,” says one settler’s wife. “Too bad it’s full of Arabs.” Walk asks the settlers a question that would be on everyone’s mind, which is: how can you think of rais- ing a family in such a volatile area? Jews have been murdered there, and in the past year violence has esca- lated literally outside their front doors. Their responses, that their children are part of the conflict, are chilling. Ironically, this echoes the enlistment of leagues of child soldiers by Islamic militants. Seen in such a realistic light, it becomes impossible to see this aspect of Israeli foreign policy as anything other than deluded. The Palestinians are made second- Class citizens in a territory they've lived in for a genera- tion. It is encouraging to think that the elimination of the settlements and the occupation would cause a perma- nent end to all suicide bombings and Palestinian unrest. It is important to keep in mind during this film, however, that for a dangerous faction of Arabs, the war against Israel will not end until it disappears from the map. No narrator is used for this doc. Both the settlers and the images speak for themselves. One criticism could be that at no time are any of the Arab inhabitants interviewed. But the expressions on their faces say enough. It is the settlers who are the enigma. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ AES a Arts Double Fisting The Buzz The Lord of Darkness takes on Canada’s funniest duo. Andrew C. Epstein (TLOD) Underground Staff One fine day in my youth | turned on Rogers Cable 10 (okay, | was flip- ping and stopped by chance) and was magically introduced to Daryn Jones, Mista Mo, and their creation, The Buzz. Well Daryn and Mo took their talent for degrading people and breaking things to The Comedy Network and actually won a Gemini. | got a chance to speak with Daryn and Mo separately so | could ask them about semi-stardom and all its accoutrements. Did you ever think you’d actually make any money off the show? Mista Mo: Mmm... no, when we started doing the Buzz we were doing it for free for three years on Rogers, and that was just volunteer work. Never knew it would actually come down to getting paid for the show like that. Daryn Jones: When we first started ages ago, like no way. But the thing is that now we've been doing it for four years, and | feel like I’m entitled to it. But when we started that wasn’t the point at all, we just wanted some recognition ‘cause we were on TV and that was cool. Did Rogers Cable 10 ever put you through any strange sort of initia- tion? MM: No not that | remember. DJ: | don’t think so... um Mo suggested something once, but he gave me a weird look and so | dropped the subject. Do you have Buzz groupies? MM: Sometimes | remember when we shoot, | remember two incidents where there was just like a person hanging out with us the whole day. Never would say anything to us but they were just there while we were shooting, and that’s about ix nothing freaky. There was a guy who just hung around for four hours, never said anything to us. DJ: They're usually pretty weird, which is fine. But we're not the show that hot people really watch. The show’s hosted by nerds and geeks so kind of that crowd. That's fine with me, | mean we're hanging with our people. What’s the most famous person you’ve ever met through the Buzz? MM: To be honest | really can’t think of anybody. Daryn’s the guy who likes to talk to celebrities and stuff like that. I’m usually the guy who doesn’t show up to the celebrity meetings. Hmm... must have met tons of celebrities and | don’t think | even cared. DJ: Emanuel Lewis! Mr. T... um the guy who played Skippy on Family Ties, that was pretty amazing. Did you ever meet Screech from Saved by the Bell? DJ: No we haven't met Screech yet... we met MC Hammer but no Screech. Describe your most memorable expe- riences in Scarborough (if any). MM: One time there was this guy just hanging around us and he was flashing people. We were on the street corner trying to shoot, this was with Rogers years ago, and this guy kept on flashing his genitals. We didn’t really notice for a while and the producer pointed it out and someone came and stopped him. But if you watch the footage, | think we actu- ally aired it, there’s the guy in the back- ground. | don’t think anyone noticed, but the guy was just there flashing himself. DJ: | think my most memorable moment in Scarborough was driving through it to Ajax. Have you ever had anyone come after you over the content of your show? MM: We get angry callers and emails saying, “your show is offensive” or what- ever. We get a lot of racist comments. | don’t want to get in to details, but it’s like something threatening to kill you and your family, using the “n” word with that. DJ: Some people get upright, get uptight. Get upright? Was that a Freudian slip? DJ: Yes that's how | feel right now. No, usually people are lazy so they send one email, so they feel like they’ve done their part. Are you more of a pimp or a hoe? MM: | guess I’m the pimp. So Daryn’s the ho? MM: ff that’s how you have to put it yeah... I’m not the ho. DJ: That’s a great question. Our rela- tionship really has morphed over the years, back and forth. | would say Mo is more the pimp because if there’s a bit he doesn’t want to do | end up having to do it. Describe a Buzz meeting. How do you guys come up with show ideas? MM: We shoot for only four months out of the year. We just have our own ideas. He thinks of some ideas and | think of some ideas, and the producer just mixes them. Around May, we get together and have a couple of meetings and shoot the shit and see what's going to get on the show. For the most part we just do everything on our own. DJ: Usually it’s like a week before we have to shoot and we'll call ea say “what do you want to de go “I don’t know” and I'll go ” and he’s like “ok cool” and. see you next week”. Tell me a story about be MM: For the most part tt Network) are really go he’s dirty. He’s the more trouble than | What’s your dream Buzz superhero? MM: | don’t think it'd be any of them. If | had to be an actual superhero | probably be like Wolverine or something. DJ: Maybe like a hot hot chick who's into nerdy short white guys. Fighting evil with felatio? DJ: Yes! There you go, you’ve thought about this too. Have you made any enemies in the biz? MM: No. I’m sure there are people who want us off the air, but not any of them took any action. Just maybe people saying stuff behind your back. DJ: | used to have a feud with Bill Welychka. But then he went to MuchMoreMusic so it’s not much fun anymore. We're kind of pleasant now when we see each other. Hmm, who else? Mike Bullard but everyone’s got a feud with him. We try to start them all the time for fun, but nobody ever picks it up and goes along with it. It’s a drag. What’s the most homoerotic moment between you and Daryn? MM: Can't think of one. I've been working with this guy for over seven years. | can never tell anymore DJ: We try to keep those to a minimum due to the business relationship. There's been awkward moments, we had to share a room in Montreal at the comedy festival. Thank god we're both profes- sionals or it could have gotten a little weird. What’s in the future for you after the Buzz? MM: I guess Daryn will probably continue to pursue acting. Myself, | want to put out stand-up comedy CD’s and videos and specials and stuff like that. | don’t have any real goals in terms of stardom. DJ: Great question (laughs), move back in with my folks, maybe nothing. Will there be another season? MM: As far as | know there is another Wednesday, March 12, 2003 season. | don’t know if it’s all confirmed or anything. But | got word that there is nother season for next year. ‘How did you convince the Comedy _ Network to send you to Europe? _DJ: Isn’t that amazing? That was actually our production company, they said “yeah, there’s some amazing thing going on in Europe, and we simply must go!” The __ trick is we didn’t have to pay anyone on | $taff. So we just moved money around. Will there ever be Buzz action fig- ures? MM: People have been asking for that, but | don’t see how we'd pull it off. But people have been asking that for a couple years now. Would we have just Daryn and Mo or would we have like Fluff —. The Hip-Hop Bunny characters or stuff like that. DJ: That'd be amazing. Probably every- one’s too lazy to get it going. We've been talking about putting out a DVD for like four years. | would love action figures but | don’t know how to make them. Who’s sexier: Mikhail Gorbachev or Henry Kissinger? MM: Neither. DJ: | gotta go with Kissinger. It’s that cute voice; it’s throaty, plus those glasses. Who’s your date to the Oscars? MM: Have to get to the Oscars first. Don’t plan on going so if | was able to go | wish | could take Halle Berry with me if she wasn’t married. DJ: Well my girlfriends in New York, so Ill be going out with Palmela. Palmela Anderson? DJ: Palmela, my left Palmela. If all else fails do you think you'll end off your career in Vegas? MM: I'd play Vegas yeah. DJ: To be honest with you that’d be amazing. Would you open for Wayne Newton or Englebert Humperdink? MM: Wayne Newton. For some reason that just sticks out in my head. That’s the best way to go. DJ: | gotta go with Newton. As fans we gotta be. Authors P.S.: Mo had totally forgotten that there even was a U of T in Scarborough. So have we Mo, so have we. a http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ ~~ Www th Wen det ewe Reber h rsd OE Ee - ‘ d “—N The Underground Reviews Cronenberg spins a lovely Just not the most fascinating Film: Spider Director: David Cronenberg Starring: Raiph Fiennes, Gabriel Burne, Miranda Richardson, Lynn Redgrave Rating while in theatre: tek try Rating a few days later: wi wkrtyyr Keith Friedlander Arts Editor web Sometimes a movie can have a number of quali- ties working in its favour and still result in disappoint- ment. I’m still trying to figure out whether or not Cronenberg’s latest movie Spider qualifies as such a disappointment. Spider is the story of a man (Ralph Fiennes) who is recently released from a mental hospital and living in a half-way house in London’s east end. Surrounded by other eccentric sociopaths who live in a silent fear of the outside world, Spider struggles to get by under the domination of an oppressive old nurse. With some resolve to recover and leave the house, Spider seeks to come to an understanding of his past. Scrawling in a journal while cooped up in his room, he relives the days of his childhood as a voyeur, watching the conflict of his temperamental father (Gabriel Byrne) and submissive mother (Miranda Richardson). These memories, mixed with flashbacks of his days in the mental hospital and his wanderings around the city slowly unravel the mystery of Spider’s condition. From a technical standpoint, Spider is a wonderful piece of filmmaking. The performances of Byrne and Richardson are emotive and affecting and make it easy to sink into the scenario of Spider’s youth. Fiennes’ shuffling, mumbling and slow gaze portrays Spider’s slow understanding and hesitant intentions wonder- fully. The dirty, smoke filled streets of London’s east side creates a wonderful atmosphere for exploration of a mind bent out of shape. The course of the plot was intelligent, with the transitions of flashbacks and present action carefully designed to reveal the layers of Spider’s trauma. However, the movie suffers severely in other places. Although the course of the plot is well thought out, the slow pace of the action can give way to a tedium that will ruin some scenes. While the style of the movie is enjoyable it fails to break any true inno- vations and thus fails to support the weight of the film when the story drags on. Finally and most disappoint- ingly, the course of the movie is rather predictable. In the end, there’s nothing incredibly fascinating about where Spider goes or how it gets there, other than the amount of time it takes. Leaving the theatre one might rightly feel disappointed in the experience. But the more | reflect on this movie, the more | consider the story as a whole and the true effective- ness of its arrangement, the harder it is to completely devalue Spider for failing to stun me at any point. It is a well acted, thoughtfully conceived and psychologi- Cally stimulating piece of theatre that just happens to move slowly in an expected direction. | reflect fondly on Spider, I’m glad | saw it. | just don’t think I’m going to see it again. As to whether or not | would suggest it, that is a question of patience and appreciation of the viewer. Take charge of your future with Summer Company, an Ontario government program for WORK FOR THE BEST BOSS IN THE WORLD THIS SUMMER. full-time students aged 15-29. It provides hands-on business training and mentoring and awards of up to $3,000 to help start your own summer business. For more information contact: Enterprise Toronto North York Civic Centre 5100 Yonge St., Main Floor Toronto ON M2N 5V7 (416) 395-7434 e Fax: (416) 395-7444 www.enterprisetoronto.on.ca Deadline for applications is April 4, 2003. 48 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Memories of Kingwell Katie-Raines Goldie “Don’t you just hate it when you open the fridge there’s nothing but caviar and champagne?” Although fourth year student Katarina Kuruc may not have remembered anything else about that lecture, she certainly remembered when Dr. Mark Kingwell, one of U of T’s most memorable and well-known philosophy professors, made this comment during one of her classes, about the state of his fridge. But up until recently, there was a good chance that memories would be the only thing we’d have because we almost lost him to King’s College in Halifax. Dr. Kingwell had thrown his hat in for a gig as their president, but fortunately for us, King’s went with Dr. William Barker. Dr. Barker, who is chair of Memorial University’s English department, also happens to have a great picture of him posing with a statue’s rear end on his webpage. Mark Kingwell was the youngest of the three candidates (and probably the only one with a tattoo) who stood for the presidential seat at King’s. Despite his relative youth, Dr. Kingwell certainly has the qualifications: his large collection of framed degrees and published books would have made moving his office to Halifax a daunting task. The other candi- date was Dalhousie law professor Bruce Archibald, who is sadly lacking in photos of him with sculpted bums. But the fears of Dr. Kingwell’s pos- sible departure likely prompted the most concern from his loyal female following. They sit in the front row of his classes, always read his column in the National Post, and religiously attend his numer- ous speaking engagements and confer- ences to get their Kingwell fix. Barton S. Wong, a literary studies undergrad noted ‘the propensity of females to gather around professor Kingwell, especially when he was noting special events at which he appeared. For example, when he gave out little bookmarks advertising his lecture at the OCAD a veritable mob of people mostly of the female persua- sion seemed to storm the stage in eager- ness to receive the precise information of where the lecture was being held.” Dr. Kingwell’s following clearly aren't shy about their enthusiasm. One student asked him to pose for a photo with him, another, as the National Post reported, told Dr. Kingwell that she has “a pact with my girlfriends that whoever we have sex with, we'll think of you.” The National Post article also reported that a number of female students sitting in the front row of one of his classes wrote, “I Love You Mark,” with marker across their eyelids. Anyone who has taken one of his classes knows just how quirky and enter- taining the experience can be. Jordan Nadel, a U of T grad recalls, “He would always look over to this spot on the wall where he assumed a clock would be. But there was no clock. So after we all started noticing him glancing over at the wall, he decided to draw a clock on the wall with chalk.” The chalk clock remained there for the rest of the term. Nadel continues, “He also used to hate having people arrive late to his classes.” That’s putting it mildly as philosophy stu- dent Sean Chambers recalls, “He would pause his lecture every time a student arrived late, and stare at the poor person as they moved from the door - inevitably made even more awkward because the door never shut properly - through the classroom, struggled to find an empty seat and finally sat down. Waiting an extra couple seconds for dramatic effect, he would then resume, having left the student feeling about an inch tall.” Dr. Kingwell is not only particular about the clock and lateness but about his lecture table as well. Upon entering the class, he would find great pleasure in perfectly aligning his table with the edge of the stage upon which it sat. As well as strange and funny inci- dents in class, Dr. Kingwell sprinkles his lectures with quirky personal sto- ries. One such story, which he recently retold on CBC radio, involved, to the grand titiliation of his female following, a near-naked Dr. Kingwell running down the street. Apparently Dr. Kingwell, who made it known that he sleeps in the nude, was awoken by footsteps by his bed. Realising that he was being robbed, he jumped up, put on boxers and chased the thief into the street. Upon catching up Image by Derek Chow to him, Dr. Kingwell said that he had an “ontological and existential crisis” as he could do nothing about the situation. But Dr. Kingwell is known for being aesthetically pleasing, clothed or oth- erwise. Margaret Lam, a second year student, remembers Dr. Kingwell’s lec- ture about the well-dressed subculture of Teddy Boys. “...they had side-burns, not so much unlike mine...” he said with a grin on his face. Katarina Kuruc, a semi- otics student laughs while recalling “his constant references to ‘the Jag’ and his expensive Italian suits.” Even outside of class, Dr. Kingwell has achieved intellectual celebrity status. He can often be seen on television, radio or in print more than once a week as well as at all the important parties. The true mark of his celebrity status, however, was Good Magazine’s week dedicated to Dr. Kingwell. Kingwell Week was a snarky series of fictional stories involving our hero in various amusing situations. The favourite seems to be “Palming Mark Kingwell’, in which he gets “palmed” (Elan Mastai writes: “Palming’ is the act of cupping a man’s testicles in your hand in public in such a way that the act appears to be accidental) at various hip- ster intellectual events and locations. Dr. Kingwell’s celebrity status, style, newspaper column and female following certainly gave him something the other candidates didn’t have. ja http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 19 The Underground Life The Garbage Fairies Are Just Pretend Rob Chung Undergound Staff Once upon a time, someone very intelligent from Rubbermaid or some other plastics company invented large receptacles that would, in theory, contain our garbage. The idea was that garbage should be placed into these receptacles, which would keep all refuse together and contained. When these containers are filled, a person could then take them and further dump the waste in a place well away from our living areas, and we would not have to live in our own filth. Remember that Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart make garbage angels in their family room? The idea with gar- bage cans and other garbage related-containers was to avoid that. The effort to find a garbage can and throw one’s waste out is all that it takes for us to live in an environment clean of free-flying litter. But alas, it seems that here at Scarborough Campus, with our supposed intellectual status (being university students and all) do not know understand this simple, essential concept, or are too lazy to bother using the various receptacles for garbage. Instead, people like to leave empty coffee cups, pita COMMUNITY SERVICE » ACADEMIC ACHIEVEME wrappers, and cigarette butts anywhere that is conve- nient. Half-empty pop cans and those pizza-shaped plates cover most of the tables in the few study areas in the school. Though there is no shortage of garbage cans in the school, people still do not use them, expect- ing magic garbage fairies to clean up after them. There are no garbage fairies. There is, however, a hardworking maintenance staff at the school, a staff that probably doesn’t feel like pick- ing up after grown adults. The maintenance staff does a wonderful job cleaning up the garbage that litters the school, but in all fairness to them, garbage cans are not technologically advanced machines that only they can master. Indeed, it takes a few extra seconds for any person with a bagel wrapper in their hands to walk over to a garbage can, and place that garbage into the can. Sounds simple? It is. Perhaps what is needed is yet another academic course that teaches the young, great minds of today how to dispose of their trash in garbage cans of differ- ent shapes, sizes and colors. The students would be taught the importance of keeping the areas that sur- round them garbage-free. People who take the course would be taught the differences between a garbage can and a recycling bin, and how the picture on the front of the blue bin with a pop can means that only pop cans go inside; not pop cans and other pieces of garbage. They would be taught that litter is really not that nice, that gar- bage has a home - not on the ground, or left on tables and chairs, but inside the wonderful receptacles that are placed in convenient locations all around the school. The last thing any of us needs is to be walking around campus on a windy day and to have a half-eaten donut fly in our face (it happens more often than you think), or to trip on an empty pop bottle walking down any one of the staircases. And in the summer, the grounds people do a really decent job with the landscaping in the front of the school. Little ornamental pieces of garbage really don’t make the plants look that much better. In short, for all of those anonymous litter bugs, smarten the hell up, and throw your trash in the garbage. An artistic exploration of the oq iteyatel Mie bree) 0] g-y-\ awards 2003 ha Vcolehanl-\-vmial-melgi clalenco| ate iol e-M-Yen(claiateja Zell] aa le ima ie) 918) "aig 9\\er~|ein@)6)(elelg=|elany, Ni-Yolacie) mere) (-Yel= We) mmelale(-YaelneLe(OlohioMelaIn@-lectinAciiele tS this scholarship, worth $4,000 to $10,000, may be for you. To learn more: March 19th. Curated by Melissa Calder Contact: notmybio@yahoo.com www. millenniumscholarships.ca/incourse 20 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Se Frog in my Throat Merika |. Ramundo The rules are simple. Two sets of neighbours have two days to makeover a room in each others’ houses. Each house shares the services of one carpenter and is matched with one designer. Both groups can spend no more than $1,000 on each room. You've probably guessed what | am alluding to - The Learning Channel’s Trading Spaces. Who would have guessed that this TLC show would have become such a cult phenomenon? The popularity of Trading Spaces doesn’t stem so much from the premise of the show as it does from the dynamic that is created from the participants, designers and carpenters in each episode. What makes audiences hooked are the ways in which each team works together over the course of two days and whether all this effort will be well received or just sobbed over when the hom- eowners actually see what is done to their room. Each episode brings with it a new set of obstacles, a new set of designers and a new set of homeowners. Its for- mula is fresh, entertaining and, like a soap opera, has its drama, conflicts, characters and of course climax. Watch out Y & R, make way for B & D (Black & Decker) -- renovation is sexy! Let’s face it people -- there is more to this show than just decorating. | know that there are some of you out there watching to see if Doug will really get away with sipping that lemonade while his crew is painting up a storm. And let’s admit this now or forever hold our power tools -- there are still more of you wanting to see the very hot, very now Ty Pennington screwing and nailing -- wood that is. All the people that I talk to not only watch the show adamantly but are actually attached to spe- cific designers and carpenters that help to add a touch of flair (or despair) to each room. People even have favorite and well, not-so favorite designers and will fight to the death to defend their designer’s honor. | have thought about this long and hard and the only explana- tion that | could come up with is that the attachment my friends and | share for our respective designers is rooted in the ways in which we perceive two things: compatibility amongst personality types coupled with individual tastes for a personalized aesthetic beauty in our material and ideological worlds. | know for a fact that | would never let Hilda design my room because she might end up plastering rubber tires on my walls and that’s just not my bag of tea. | also know that | would let Frank design my children’s ‘ playroom but never my bedroom because his designs are so colorful and whimsical that | don’t think that my retinas could support looking at the huge mural of a Mexican sunset. And finally, | would not hesitate to go shopping for jeans with Genevieve while partaking in a martini extravaganza with Vern after he designed, built and furnished my dream house...... he is, after all, an architect. Don’t get me wrong, | wholeheartedly believe that a certain type of person would enjoy Doug's sadistic ten- dencies or Laurie’s southern belle manner but | certainly don’t. So what does that say about me? What does that say about the Underground readers who are infatuated with a certain designer, host or carpenter on Trading Spaces? Your Trading Spaces Horrorscopes await you -- read on. If you like...... Frank Bielec A School-House Rock fan, you are a colorful person and your wild imagination often gets you into trouble. You are always tripping, be it on drugs, food or just plain ol’ adrenaline. Watch out for pot holes in your life -- the are not legal yet. Favorite Book: Tales from the City Favorite Movie: Wizard of Oz Favorite Food: Spaghetti & Meatball Favorite Song: Rainbow Connection Paige Davis You are perky and definitely a morning person. Your curiosity may get the better of you and your cat. You enjoy sunshine. You do not care for politics but are politically correct at all times. You can spell potato and that’s a good thing. White may be the color of your wed- ding dress but it is certainly not the color of your love, you Celine Dion at heart, you. a = Favorite Book: Lucky by Danielle St Favorite Movie: Beauty and the Bea Favorite Food: Apple Pie Favorite Song: God Bless America Genevieve Gorder You go with the flow. You let things around you inspire even though you foot fetish might drive people away and into someone else’s arches. Favorite Book: Hitchiker’s Guide to Favorite Movie: Easy Rider Favorite Food: Meat & Potatoes Favorite Song: Welcome to the Jung Laurie Hickson-Smith You are precise, prim, proper and perhaps a prude. You are alliterate but would never show it because you have your pride and prejudice. You can’t help falling in love with Elvis and place cards in no particular order. Favorite Book: Gone with the Wind Favorite Movie: Gone with the Wind Favorite Food: Shrimp stir-fry with a “ to add color Favorite Song: Old Man River Amy Wynn-Pastor You are dependable. You like taking risks with your finances and often play the stock market only to find that the cattle just aren’t as mad as they used to be. You are very competitive and are in a constant search for ways to boost your ratings. You may want to try participating in wet t-shirt contests this week so as to draw X-Box beach volleyball aficionados to your cou Favorite Book: Boom, Bust & Echo Favorite Movie: Debbie Does Drill B Favorite Food: Animal Crackers Favorite Song: Taking Care of Busin Wednesday, March 12, 2003 Ty Pennington You are hot and enjoy showing people your hotness. You are a natural joker but you often complain because you are too hot. You are a dreamer, a real “Zen master” -- and hot. You enjoy riding mechanical bulls -- in the rain -- on hot September nights -- naked. Favorite Book: The Hot Spot Favorite Movie: Some Like It Hot Favorite Food: Hot Dog Favorite Song: Hot Child in the City Hilda Santo-Tomas : You enjoy bleaching your upper lip, as stiff as it is. The avant-gardist of the bunch, you always take two things that should not be intertwined and well, intertwine them. This could be disastrous for your black, beat poet get-up frame of mind. Favorite Book: Naked Lunch by: William S. Burroughs Favorite Movie: Blue Velvet, but if given the choice, would prefer watching performance art t@ Vigwing ay Favorite Food: Sushi Favorite Song: Knee Play No. 3 from Beach by: Philip Glass Douglas Wilson If selfishness, procrastination and good old fash- ioned cruelty are your bag then it’s Doug -Time! You”’ve had regrets. You” ve made a few, but you did it your way. A dominatrix never reveals his/her secrets but your safe words are “tyrant-o-saurus Sex”. Favorite Book: Oral Sadism And The Vegetarian Personality By: Glenn C. Ellenbogen Se Favorite Movie: Jackass Favorite Food: Slim-Fast Favorite Song: Holiday by: Madonna Vern Yip A classic overachiever, you are the master of your domain in every sense of the word. You are the type of person who uses Matisse font in all your documents... ...tsk, tsk -- so hard to read. Favorite Book: Genius: A Mosaic Of One Hundred Exemplary Creative Minds, by: Harold Bloom Favorite Movie: The Bicycle Thief Favorite Food: Duck a |l”orange with coquille St. Jacques sautééed in wine and Moroccai Ve the side, please. Favorite Song: Beethoven’s Fifth Redecorate my inbox people! Write to tell me what you think: ramundoelmundo@yahoo.ca i http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 21 Statements of Candidates in the _Governing Council Election for Students hb VO | Full-Time Undergraduate Students, Constituency I Ben Barry (Trinity College) It is with honour that | declare my nomination to be your representative. EXPERIENCE As Head of my high school’s student governing group and currently as Director of Council Relations for the Toronto Youth Cabinet at City Hall, | ensure that student issues are brought to the forefront of debate. In second year, | am studying political science, management, and women’s studies. ISSUES Stopping the deregulation of tuition fees and monitoring how university funds are used needs active attention. | sincerely ask for your vote in order to ensure that our voice is not only heard, but also acted upon. Adam Borovilos (Victoria College) Adam Borovilos is a third-year Victoria College student studying in both the Commerce and Computer Science programs. It is his hope to raise awareness in the minds of students of the important decisions made by the Governing Council. By providing a calm, balanced viewpoint, Adam will offer an accurate representation of student body opinion to the Council. His decision to run is based on a sincere personal belief in making a positive contribution on behalf of the entire undergraduate student community. He looks forward to serving you. Mike Foderick (University College) Former policy aide to three Toronto City Councillors, and Chair of The Varsity Newspaper Board, | brought the 12% TTC Metropass discount to UofT. As a member of Governing Council | will: 1) Be the most active opponent of tuition increases of any kind, leveraging my experience to fi ght the deregulation of professional programs 2) Push hard to make student positions on GC Boards elected, not appointed. 3) Lead efforts to make our three campuses as green as possible 4) Only be an email away as your voice at Governing Council. www.mikefoderick.ca. Shane O’Dowd-Rutherford (Transitional Year Program) Our university is a collection of many diverse communities and interests. Working together we can achieve a level of success unsurpassed by any other academic institution. Equity and diversity are the hallmarks of a great institution, with the release of the Green Papers | believe we can begin tapping the creative energies and different points of view of our diverse student body and with this we can collectively achieve higher levels of student satisfaction and fi nd new ways to enrich the university experience. | will work towards leveraging our strength as a collective to reduce costs for students. Leo Trottier (University College) Actively involved in student government at the residence, college, and University levels, Leo is known for his leadership and dedication to improving the student experience for his fellow undergraduates. An accomplished second-year Cognitive Science student at UC, Leo is currently a Director on SAC, and sits on the Executive of his House and Residence councils. If elected to Governing Council, Leo’s goals will include stopping tuition fee deregulation, recognizing the University’s diversity by creating more space for student groups, reducing the effective cost of student housing, and strengthening the University’s commitment to environmental responsibility. For more information, visit www.leotrottier.com Faran Umar-Khitab (Trinity College) No statement provided. Adam Watson (University of Toronto at Scarborough) Adam Watson — Truly proud of his accomplishments and endeavours, Adam has served the community in a number of capacities. Elected as Student Trustee to the Simcoe County District School Board, Adam was responsible for representing the views and best interests of more than 50,000 students. In addition, Watson was elected the youngest-ever Provincial Director to the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (OSPCA) and the Chair of the Barrie OSPCA. Taking great pride in saying that he is a management co-op student at the University of Toronto at Scarborough, Adam wishes to eventually pursue a career in politics. Full-Time Undergraduate Students, Constituency II Muhammad Basil Ahmad (Pharmacy) has served on the Governing Council, University Affairs Board, Planning & Budget Committee, Academic Appeals Board, and recently on the Students’ Administrative Council and Discipline Appeals Board. He was also Chair of the Special Committee that drafted the new Code of Student Conduct printed in your Faculty Calendar. As President of the largest student club, he is now involved with the Orientation Task Force. Manychallenges await us, as the University of Toronto undergoes unparalleled expansion. RE-ELECT a student who will work assiduously to improve student life and this University’s reputation for equality and diversity. Vote for the EXPERIENCED CHOICE! Bruce Cameron (Applied Science and Engineering) The Governing Council functions as a university-wide vehicle to engage students in shaping their education. | believe a student's educational experience in the professional faculties is best nurtured by a learning-based environment — education that is actively responsive to student needs, emphasizing the learning process over bulk delivery of material. As a GC member, | will do my utmost to increase the council’s awareness of relevant curriculum and policy issues. | will collaborate with council members to ensure cohesion between resolutions and results. | will seek to foster more effi cacious governance, correlated with improving the university experience. David Kolinsky (Law) In an era of increased tuition and decreased accessibility, my goal is to work toward the recognition of a university education as something that all people should be able to aspire to, regardless of income or membership in any particular social group. | envision a University where students graduate not only with an education that is unsurpassed, but also with a desire to serve the greater community, which has made their educational experience possible. | am committed to representing the best interests of all students, without prejudice with regard to their academic constituency or socio-political views. Vote for David Kolinsky. Robin Rix (Law) Effective student representation requires an informed perspective of the university's operations and a commitment to improve the student experience. My community involvement includes service on the provostial task force on student housing, on the law school’s Faculty Council, as a don at Victoria College, and as the chair of several student governments, including SAC. My aims for the year are to be an informed voice for professional faculty students, to increase the level of student awareness about Governing Council’s decision-making process, and to co-operate closely with student governments and other stakeholders through formalized consultations and outreach activities. Daniel Thorek (Applied Science and Engineering) | would be honoured to be given the ability to represent our constituency as a member of the Governing Council. The position that | am running for provides one with the opportunity to dedicate oneself to carrying out some of the essential duties of the university. As an OT4 engineering student with experience in student government, | hope that | can be presented with the opportunity to give something back to this institution. Part-Time Undergraduate Students Mohammed Hashim (University of Toronto at Mississauga) As the SAC University Affairs Commissioner this year, | gained invaluable experience and insight into University governance. As the Part-time Undergraduate Representative on the Governing Council, | will use my fi nal year to accomplish the following goals: — Atuition freeze for all undergraduate and Professional Faculties; — An Environmental Protection Policy that will shift the University’s mandate towards sustainabledevelopment — Strengthening the relationship between the central Administration and the UTM and UTSC campuses by creating an atmosphere of constructive engagement between students on Governing Council and their Administrative counterparts. For more information about my policies, please check: www.mohashim.com Andrew Jochem (Woodsworth College) My name is Andrew Jochem. | am a part-time student in the humanities. As a father of two young children, managing my own landscaping business, | can sympathise with the external stresses, apart from the pressure of academic success, that most part-time students, especially Academic Bridging students, encounter. Spiralling tuition fees are limiting access for part-time students. The classification of part-time students is being redefi ned so that they may not be eligible for OSAP in the future. Part- time students enrich our community and deserve a strong voice and representation on Governing Council. Jeff Peters (Transitional Year Program — part-time) | am 27, and the fi rst Part-time Transitional Year Program (TYP) student. | believe in free tuition for all students and | will fi ght at Governing Council to achieve this vision. As an anti-poverty activist, | believe that all students should have housing and adequate food; as such, | will work for greater access to services such as the UofT food bank. | am a peace activist and a mature student with a physical disability; | pledge to work with my fellow students to improve accessibility on all three campuses. Chris Ramsaroop (St. Michaei’s College) As a current student governor, | have been a voice for the interest of part time students. Equity, diversity and accountability must be upheld within the governance structure of UofT now! As students we must demand that our voices are heard in the areas of fi nancial aid, housing, student space and diversity. Let's send a message to the administration that they are here to provide an accessible education to all. As such | will continue to demand more participation from students and the greater community so that decisions are refl ective of our needs. www.utoronto.ca/acc/gc. Fern Turgeon (Woodsworth College) | am a single mother with two children and | work full-time in advertising. Since completing the Academic Bridging Program, | am pursuing a degree in English and taking courses in Writing, Rhetoric, and Critical Analysis. As a member of Governing Council, | intend to give voice to the needs of parttime students who are a signifi cant cohort of the student population. Some of the issues | would like to address include providing ample study space, availability of evening courses, and comprehensive support systems to enable students to be part of the academic community. Graduate Student Constituency I Sachin Aggarwal (Rotman School of Management) No statement provided. Frank Belluardo (Italian Studies) Objective: - To liaise between Constituency | graduate students & Governing Council. - To strengthen rapport between students and the administrative body; and for student issues to be heard. Currently: - 1st year UofT Masters Student & TA - Current President GSA Italian Studies. Past experience (at York University): - Chair, York Orientation Directors Association - Chair, Vanier College Alumni Association - President, Vanier College Council - Orientation Chair, Vanier College - Vice-President, Classical Studies Students Association - Treasurer, Vanier College Council - Founder/President YWFA - Chair, YFS Elections Committee - Treasurer, York Is U “ Graduate Student Constituency II Azadeh Emam (Medicine) As graduate students, we are an essential part of teaching, research and future of this institution. As a result, our interests should be considered in major decisions made for our university. With my experience in cultural organizations both on and off campus, and as the former president of the Nutritional Sciences Students’ Association, | am highly motivated to be the voice of graduate students on the Governing Council and to represent our interest. www.azadeh.ca Francoise Ko (Pharmacology) As a former governor and an active student representative working with various campus student groups | wish to continue infl uentially representing graduate students to: — Stop tuition increases — Develop strategies to ensure time to graduation within allocated funded years — Index the funding guarantee to refl ect true cost of living in Toronto — Create more affordable housing for graduate students.and families As well as ensure the University: — Maintains all commitments to accessibility (physical, fi nancial, and otherwise) and promotes diversity \ — Remains accountable to students — fi nancial, academic, and otherwise — Does not off-load fees onto students http://individual.utoronto.ca/FrancoiseGC2003 This advertisement is paid for by the Governing Council. It does not necessarily refl ect the opinions of The Underground, its staff or UTSC students | Diversions Wednesday, March 12, 2003 by Kelly Lisle| & Ayshia Degia Pinwheels Materials ¢ Construction or other heavy paper ¢ An unsharpened pencil or other stick ¢ Pin with a large head, such as a corsage pin * 1 bead such as a 1/4” wooden bead or pony bead ¢ Pencil ¢ Scissors * Quarter 1. Cut a square piece of paper (the larger the paper square, the larger your pinwheel will be). 2. Fold the square in half to form a triangle, BN the corners 3. Unfold the square and fold another triangle, matching the opposite corners. 4. Unfold the paper. You should have 2 folded lines forming an X in the center of your paper. 5. Use the quarter to draw a circle in the center of the paper. 6. Cut the paper on the folded lines to the drawn circle Do not cut all the way to the center! 7. Gently curl the corners marked with a red dot toward the center of the square (do not fold them!) Poke the pin through each corner and pushing the corner toward the head of the pin. Then stick the pin through the center of the paper. 8. After pushing the pin through all the corners, slide the bead on the pin behind the pinwheel and then push the point of the pin into the side of the pencil eraser or top of the stick you will be using. Note: the instructions for this lovely fun toy were stolen from the following wevpaye. http:/Awww. fortunecity.com/millenium/sherwood/504/midcraft.htm! Sr ae __ http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 23 The Underground ty let 2 ; an s/know by conta email with Mano in the subject line to: undergnd@utseiutoronio‘cs (The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Do to the NG often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! March 6-26 Monday-Sunday 24 hours a day Shinobu Akimoto “My life is bigger than 641 square feet.” A project test run at the Fly Gallery, 1172 Queen W. March 10-13 AIDS Awareness Week. Free Stuff For All. March 12 10AM-3PM Aids Awareness in Meeting Place. Information Booths from student groups. March 12 6-8PM Deconstructing AIDS seminar. Council Chambers, S-402. Refreshments provided. March 12-15 8PM An evening of theater about theater. This is a Play and The Actor's Nightmare. Directed by Paula Sperdakos. $10 general/ $8 students. Tickets on sale in Meeting Place and through Cultural Affairs Office, B306. March 12 7-10PM_ Social Life gallery opening at Gallery Neubacher, 81 St. Nicholas St., behind Manulife Center near Younge and Bloor. March 13 5PM Art for AIDS. Student Village Center. Food, dance, visual art, poetry. March 13 8PM art ATTACK. An evening of aesthetic activism. Poster Making and taping party. (S&M?). The Cat's Eye, Victoria College. Free food and drinks. http: //members.rogers.com/vues/. March 13 3:30-5:30PM Networking Thursday: Arts and Culture. Details at the Career Centre: 416.978.8001. March 13 7:30-9PM Random House Student Award in Writing. Finalists in the School of Continuing Studies creative writing contest read from their entries. Arbor Room in the Hart House. March 14 8PM _ Gallery opening. Sis boom Bah presents two photography-based art shows. 1114 Queen W. March 14 7:30PM A Way of Making-performance art piece by Fado, a First Nations residency art project. Ontario College of Art and Design, 100 McCaul St., Room 235. March 14 Uberzone. Guvernment’'s Orange room. March 15 10PM WOMP presents March Breaks at the Labyrinth Lounge, 298 Brunswick Street, at Bloor. March 15 12 noon Stop the War on Iraq protest and parade. Meet outside the U.S. Consulate 360 University Ave. March 16 War and Resistance: Mobilizing against Imperialism. A day long conference presented by the Toronto New Socialist Group. 11-12:30 The Politics of Oil: Hamid Sodefi, Terisa Turner, Leigh Brownhill. 1: 30-3:00 Feminism and War with Sharzhad Mojab and Frances Piper. 3:30-5:00 Beyond a World of War & Terror with Tony Tracy. OISE Rm. 422. 252 Bloor St. March 17 1PM Darren O’Donnell, playwright and director. Free, Leigha Lee Brown Theater. March 17 12 noon’ The myth of sustainable development. Speaker: Dr. Charles Hall, SUNY, Syracuse. Room 432, Ramsay Wright Zoological Laboratories. March 17 7-10PM Open Mike Night. Staff, faculty, and students encouraged to come and participate in the 8th annual Open Mike Night in the Attic. Presented by the Cultural affairs Literary Committee. March 18 7:15-8:15PM Mindfulness Meditation. For beginners and the experienced. Donation suggested. Taught by Philip Starkman, a psychotherapist and lifestyles counselor with 38 years of experience, with years of intensive practise in monasteries and shrams. Toronto School of Theology, 47 Queen’s Park Crescent East. www.philipvstarkman.com. March 20-22 8:30 PM Arraymusic presents Scratch! A three-day music festival of experimental and avant-garde contemporary music composition. 75 Portland St., near Bathurst and King. More info at Wwww.arraymusic.com . March 29 Toronto Comic Arts Festival. Too much info to print here, go to www.torontocomics.com/tcaf March 29 TorontoPoets.com presents Love 2 Hate, a showcase of urban poetry. 7pm Seeley Hall, 6 Hoskin Ave. Visit www.torontopoets.com for info about tickets and the like. March 29 The World of Drum and Bass! At the Kool Haus. DJ’s SS, Shy FX, L Double, Twisted Individual, alongside MC Skibadee, plus all the standard Toronto DJ schlock. Get The Dirt. 24 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wednesday March 19, 2003 ae yax've —peauhful nthe inside cI M i D SSS Can | see your scar < | NE whatare you epi e it's nothing sinister why don't you. cal| Pci uae YOU TOO CAN BE THIS COOL! By joining next year’s Underground Staff! There are positions open in nearly every facet of the newspaper experience for next year — be Editor In-Chief, and be the proud owner of your own personal fiefdomlsSo.here's a rundown of the ee = r-In-Chief Associate Edito Online Editor e Advertisin and Staff interested. You ma Sample/resume or some other expression of your competence as a writer/editor/manager. bp 24 SES gle apg Nels I le Sn _ BODY not my autobiography Though the title suggests the grander theme of the exhibit that Calder has compiled and curated, it has still been a labour of love, or hate, or both. Like all artists, Calder has many reasons for her work. The driving : forces will become apparent once you step into the Gallery’s little nook of the Meeting Place. You will encounter an exploration of women, of their bodies, their diseases, and their lives of dis-ease. Deconstructing AIDS Thirty students and three guest speakers gathered in the Council Chambers tast Wednesday for an educational seminar that deconstructed AIDS and its effects on the world today. This deadly disease was discussed in a number of ways, but the focus was primarily on the interna- tional, academic, and local levels. p.15 Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Also in this Issue: Editorials p.4 Letters p.4 a“ Events Listings’P. | 9 News (or Views) The News In Brief p.5 Arts Student Theatre Doesn't Suck p.7 A Night of Theatre About Theatre p.11 Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. - Contributors: Cpl. Chris Charambalous, Kevin Pighin, Dave Haile. _ Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough - 1265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON — MIC1A4 2 416.287.7054 undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca ; http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Thanks to Fathima Mohiuddin (who kept John and Gordon in line, and did lots of running around for 'S this week!) Life Annual Cops for Cancer Event p.18 Groundworks p.12 More sci-fi from Dave Hale Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia John Loerchner Gordon Lane Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier John Loerchner Mario Kangeswaren --: Vacant Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Columns Weekly Haiku p.é Comics p.14 Satan's Bakesale p.17 Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The Underground X St Pa rick is Crying, Whoever He Is You sayin’ I’m not Irish? Well, you're right, but I'm drinking anyways because St. Patrick's Day is an excuse to drink, and if you can’t find an excuse to drink, then you probably have a problem. The parade on Sunday was surreal, with the highpoint being a float that featured St Patrick in a large glass box, surrounded by snakes. |’m told that this makes sense (as opposed to my contention that it didn’t), because St. Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland or something. Far be it for me to complain while stag- gering down Queen Street clutching a water bottle filled with vodka. But if you can rationalize it in some way, like, “I’m going to celebrate a culture whose history and culture | can toss aside completely while retaining the only custom that | care about, which is dedicating an entire day to drink- ing,” then it’s all okay. And maybe it’s even like a kick at the establishment or the machine or something. | haven’t been to an antiwar rally in almost two weeks now, so | haven’t raged against anything in a little while. Speaking of war (and who isn’t?), do you think it’s any coincidence that Bush is making a speech at 8:00 tonight (Monday)? Since this has passed, you were probably somewhere similar to where | was - on your third beer and getting ready to crack that bottle of cheap whiskey, wondering why they're showing the same thing on every channel. Prediction: Iraq is gone by the time you read this. No one will ever mention it again, because the Mother of All Bombs has terminated its existence while we were all out drinking. And those antiwar rallies sure were effective, huh? All that noise and traffic-blocking sure helped out all those dead kids and their families. | had no idea that so many people were opposed to taking the fucking hint that Bush isn't listening. On the other hand, cooler protest methods like the human shields weren't all that useful either. Who knew that a bunch of people willing to stand between Saddam and a big fucking missile would be so damn catty? Who cares if Steve ate your rice cake! Don’t go home! But with regard to the address, let's play a game. See how close | am in predicting what Bush said. It’s kind of like Mad Libs, except real human lives are at stake. economic recovery protecting our freedom/kids/standard of living triumph over the axis of evil ____ minimal civilian casualties Turkey and France, you're next Let’s Roll! If | got them all right, I'll chip in to buy the biggest piece of plastic and the largest fucking roll of duct tape | can find. Then you'll all be safe from the only bomb in the world that couldn’t penetrate Saran-Wrap. One other thing you’re not safe from is articles about elections and the plebiscite. Sorry folks, but you have at least one more week of elec- tion coverage after this. Though we’re publishing the results of the SCSU elections this week, they are unofficial until all of the appeals (there are many) have been processed on Wednesday. Someone who's not com- plaining, though, is UTSC’s own Adam Watson, whose appointment to the Governing Council is already official. He’s the first student from a sub- urban campus to be on the GC in years, and he’s from Scarborough, so shake his hand if you see him. The SAC elections were online this year, and logged about 5000 voters. While I’m sure this number is a result of the polls being so easy to access, | think that a general lack of complacency on St. George is a factor as well. Full results can be found in the News section. In case you hadn't noticed by the amorphous blob of information that this editorial has started to become, your trusty rusty Underground staff has been drinking heavily today despite having only one Irish staff member (Guess who it is! Hint: not me). Because of this, you might notice a differ- ence in the quality of the writing...Who am | kidding, there’s no difference in the writing, and if there is, it’s for the better. Despite our intoxication, this issue has a ton of news (take that, CNN!), a vast quantity of art to peruse, including Melissa Calder’s installation in the Meeting Place (take that Ansel Adams!), and a cover that kicks the crap out of both Shift and VICE’s covers this month (take that, counterculture in general!). We've also got at least one review of the Drama Society’s Evening of Theatre About Theatre that you don’t get to see because it was a week ago. But it was good so we're going to rub it in your face. Someone once told me | should be writing for porn, but I’m going to disprove them with this really professional editorial, which | think is at least worthy of the Sun. So just lay back, turn the page, and let the Underground do its thang. Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor Editorial | Letters [DISSENT] To whom it may concern, Being a second year student who feels that SCSU has let the student population down yet again | am glad that somehow we are being represented somewhere, by the newspaper. After MONTHS of attempting to plan an event for a ‘recognized’ club that | am the president of | was about to give up. | had received the run-around since September and was tired of it. Luckily | spoke to another SCSU worker and he assisted us but was confused when he learned of the time and difficulty that the club went through. That was letdown number one. Second, as | was one of the approximate 7% of the student population who voted to make a change in this school. | was again confused and disappointed by SCSU with the plebiscite vote. The only explanation that | had received was a mass e-mail to the student body that was grossly biased and not at all enlightening about what the vote was for. It was only after a class on propaganda that | learned that a plebiscite is a term used to refer to the ‘common people and their consensus’ and was used by Augustus Caesar and Hitler. They used the term to make the common people think that they actually had a voice in what their leaders were doing. The people were wrong, it’s an empty word and is used by politicians to fool the voters into thinking that they have the ability to chose what happens to them. : Are we fools for putting up with this? Maybe, but at least | voted and tried to make a change. It’s funny though, nothing changed, maybe that’s why I’m a plebe... JENA mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters Hello Constituents, Firstly, | would very much like to thank all of my constituents who voted last week on ROSI for the Governing Council elections. | owe a debt of gratitude to all of you. As your newly represented Student Governor, | very much look for- ward to the opportunity to represent ALL students at the University of Toronto, especially those students of the east and west campuses who are all too often under-represented. The first item in my mandate is to ensure that ALL students have an active and informed vote through me on Governing Council. Thus, as of September 2003, | will be starting a forum which will be held 3 times per month: once at the Scarborough campus, once at the St. George campus, and once at the Erindale campus. The main intent of the forum will be to ensure that ALL stu- dents have the chance to voice their concerns to the Governing Council. | will look into the issues of all students, and will ensure that my voice is heard at the council table. Again, | would like to thank-you all for the opportunity to be your voice in the senior decision-making processes of the University of Toronto. Please feel free to contact me without hesitation. adam.watson@sympatico.ca “All For the Students” Yours Truly, Adam Watson University of Toronto Student Governor News Because you really don’t have any idea... Wednesday, March 12, the Council Chambers was host to the seminar “Deconstructing AIDS,” with representatives from the AIDS Committee of Toronto, the Polaris Study of the University of Toronto, and WorldVision Canada. The seminar consisted of talks regarding AIDS in the homosexual community in Toronto, current research on AIDS, video footage from Africa, and all the statistics you could ever want. See more about the seminar in Christian Lucier’s article, page 15. Passion against Pain Local spoken word poet Dwayne Morgan appeared at IMANI’s Art for AIDS night in front of a standing-room-only crowd at the Student Village Centre last Thursday night. Other performances included freestyling, singing, live painting, and original piano. Admission was free, but donations went to help AIDS programs, and you got free food and Chupa Chups in return. Students sue U of Waterloo for $11 over bar closures | Published: Thu-13-Mar-2003 By Brian Bradley, Brock Press ST. CATHARINES, ONT. (CUP) - The University of Waterloo Federation of Students has taken legal action against their university, seeking $11 million in damages after the closure of two campus pubs in January. In light of the Waterloo bar closures, the Federation says the University breached the Liquor License Act by contracting out the sale and service of liquor to the Federation at the Federation Hall and ‘Bomber’ pubs, without allowing them to have their name on the license. “They are in violation in terms of contracting out,” said Chris Di Lullo, vice- president of administration and finance for the Federation. “The Alcohol and Gaming Commission told us to put our name on the license. It would have been easy.” As a result of the forced closure, they have lost thousands of dollars in revenue from the pubs, which serve about 40,000 patrons and bring in $2 million annually. The Federation is seeking damages on a number of grounds, including negligence, breach of contract, breach of trust, negligent misstatement and misrepresentation, trespass, unjust enrichment and intentional interference. “The University came in and made the decision for us,” said Di Lullo. The first sign of trouble came at the beginning of the second semester, when the University informed the Federation that they would be going into the pubs to do inspections. The University found both establishments to be in “excellent condition,” and declared both to be “two of the safest establishments in the Kitchener-Waterloo area,” said Di Lullo. Then without notice, the University told the Federation that they wanted to take over management. The Federation refused, and the University closed both pubs. “They have said they do not trust us,” said Di Lullo. He said the University was aware that an easy resolution to the problem would be to put the Federation on the liquor license, but “they don’t feel they will have enough control.” Martin Van Nieroer, a University of Waterloo spokesperson, would not comment on the lawsuit or the universities trust in the Federation to hold a place on the liquor licensing of both establishments. Brock University Student Union President Mark Baseggio said he fully supports Waterloo’s Federation of Students and believes the closure is a result of poor attitudes towards student unions in general. “I admire them,” said Baseggio. “Student unions need to take a more hard-line approach towards administrations.” Wednesday, March 19, 2003 The News In Brief... More SCSU elections drama... Appeais have been made for several votes in the SCSU elections of March 5" and 6, Sanna Szeto, current Vice President Operations, had lost her bid for reelection to Jacinda Clarke by one vote: 195-196. Szeto immediately asked for a recount, and ended up on top by one vote: 196-195. It is likely that another recount will be asked for, but we can only wait and see. Scott Tremblay, current Vice President Students, ran for President in the recent election. The majority of votes went to Dan Bandurka, but Tremblay has appealed the vote. No further information is available at this time. The infamous plebiscite question, which ended up receiving 67% of votes in favor of the consolidation, has also been appealed. While it is obvious why it was appealed, there is no available information on who did appeal it, or what their specific reasons for appealing were. More on this next week. And the results are in: Bandurka’s Back Late-breaking news from the SCSU Elections officials puts the following people in the following offices... Can you dig it? (ed. f These are probably not official until Wednesday, when the appeals will be decided. Please feel free to dig it anyways.) PRESIDENT:Dan Bandurka VICE-PRESIDENT ACADEMICS: Preet Virdi VICE-PRESIDENT OPERATIONS: Sanna Szeto VICE-PRESIDENT STUDENTS: Anjali Mohan CLUBS OFFICER: Jon Agg SOCIAL ACTIVITIES OFFICER: Zawadi Nyambu LIFE SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Ishrag Alim HUMANITIES REPRESENTATIVE: Jeff Rybak COMPUTER AND MATHEMATICAL SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Subhi Farah SOCIAL SCIENCES REPRESENTATIVE: Chanel Chung MANAGEMENT REPRESENTATIVE: Virata Thaivasigamony And the other results are in: Ashley Morton is SAC Prez The SAC Elections were last week, with a pretty good turnout that is possibly a result of the fact that it was online. And the winners areO PRESIDENT: Ashley Morton VICE-PRESIDENT OPERATIONS: John Lea VICE-PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY AFFAIRS: Howard Tam VICE-PRESIDENT EQUITY: Julia Munk VICE-PRESIDENT STUDENT LIFE: Jason Young VICE-PRESIDENT UTSC: Ryan DeMello DIRECTORS fi UTSC: Quentin Stossel, Sarah Mak, Mary Auxi-Guaio, and Ameena Hassan The News in Brief is compiled by The Underground's News Editor, Gordon Lane. WII SRO Contact Gordon at brokennewseditor@hotmail.com The Underground News It's somewhat confusing as to what makes a President think that he can completely forego International Law when he upholds inane federal laws against pot, arresting 80 year old women who only use it for their glaucoma, or against same-sex marriages, because then he wouldn't get all that tax money! Aww, what the hell, let him bomb the place. Just know, Mr. Bush, that |, Gordon Lane, am an American, and you are not; | am not going to go suck your dick to keep my citizenship! Anywho, here it is in a nutshell: someone is missing their village idiot. Photo taken at the March 15" Anti-War demonstration and march, Toronto, courtesy of the Metro Network for Social Justice. word of the week! © , ransitive verb: ]. To sacrifice; to offer in sacrifice; to kill as a : sacrificial victim. 2. To kill or destroy, often by fire. Usage: The witch-hunters threatened to immolate me again. Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo Last minute haiku! Okay, okay here we go: “Nature and stuff, whoa. *Not valid with any other offer. At participating McDonald's Restaurants in Ontario. Offers at participating Restaurants may vary from those shown. SATURDAY SUNDAY of the week. PLUS TAX 5 Double Quarter Pounder® McChicken® Cheesebur. Cheese oS 762 ©,2003 McDonald's, Restaurant of Canada Limited. For clusive use of McDonal staurants.of Canada Limited and its franchisees Arts Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Student Theatre Doesn’t Suck Kevin Pighin There’s a new show airing on TLC called ‘Faking It’. In case you're not PNagdgai Fathima ii felavierereiial familiar with it, the premise is that in each episode a person is uprooted from their everyday existence and, in three weeks, is transformed into a convinc- ing poser at some crazy job or other lot in life. Last week a buttoned down Harvard graduate (who seemingly majored in uber-nerdness) left her job as a wire monkey at a video editing company and was re-invented as a cheerleader for the Atlanta Falcons; who, by the way, convinced two out of three profes- sional recruiters that she was legit, and got to participate in cheers in front of 70 thousand people. If Plato were alive, he’d be pissed. After watching this show, it seems that we are NOT actually predisposed to certain lots in life, and that the world could be our oyster if we tried hard enough. After all, if a Bible- belt bred farmer can become a convincing Hip-Hop DJ, or a factory worker can bump elbows with ‘fellow’ snobby rich people at a wine tasting competition, then anything is possible. Situation and location, and motivation now brew the cocktail of success more so than breeding, genetics, or formal training. Just plop anyone in a situation as far removed from his or her routine as possible, and in a short space of time, that amazing human adaptability kicks in and they become the embodiment of their surroundings...location becomes vocation, or so we are led to believe. The idea that | want to highlight here is location, because sometimes this idea of putting a high degree of importance on location becomes skewed by the entertainment industry. In the case of TLC’s “Faking It’, location was used to highlight the adaptability and versatility of your fellow human beings. In the entertainment industry on the other hand, location often eschews the narrow and rigid idea that location determines talent. As a result, the general percep- tion is that if you want to see a good play, you need to go to the right places. However, theatres sometimes gain reputations that don’t always reflect the level of talent present (sorry, Mr. Mirvish), and this means that there are times when you'd be surprised at where you thought you might find a great night out, and where you actuaily do find it. Those of us in the know here at UTSC have come to depend on students to produce great theatre, and An Evening of Theatre ABOUT Theatre proved itself to be another example of just that — great theatre. Each time | go to see one of the student productions, | always end up thinking about the other plays that I’ve seen in theatres of “repute” all across the city; and every time | can find little difference in the quality of the ‘student’ plays and the ‘professional’ plays that | see. Considering that the Drama crew here at UTSC operate on a tight budget (even for a theatre group) and have even less to work with than, say, a better funded theatre company like CanStage, the work they ultimately produce denotes resourcefulness, tact, and most of all talent. Also, under the direction of Paula Sperdakos it seems even a student who hasn’t been a devout dramatist since he was born can execute a very difficult and technical comedic role with great timing and poise. Of course, I’m talking about Michael P. Taylor, a student of psychology not of drama, who put fourth what was in my opinion the standout performance of the night. Putting natural talent aside for a moment, an actor's impressiveness on stage is often the result of a collaborative effort between actor and production staff, who can sometimes be overlooked. Well, at this point I’ve succeeded in breaking just about every rule of review writing and said a lot without really mentioning the play. But really, since it's already closed and you can’t go see it anyway, there was really no point in whetting your appetite with a few plot teasers and highlights to look forward to. So, all | really have to say is the same thing I've said since | saw my first play in the LLBT: “UTSC puts on professional caliber plays that are every bit as entertaining and challenging as those you would venture long treks on the TTC and pay larger admission fees to see. Those that missed this past production missed out on some of what makes this place special, and, if you should want to cash in (and by God you should!) you'd do well to keep your ears and eyes peeled for any upcoming productions. See the posters, buy the tickets, watch the show...you won't be disappointed. ee ee ee ee The Underground Arts Exploring women’s bodies New exhibit opens tonight in the Gallery | met Melissa Calder four years ago. The fifth year Arts Management Co-op student, and Senior Residence Advisor, has been a regular fixture of Residence Life at UTSC for at least as long. Hers is a well-known face on this campus. And in this, her grad- uation year, she presents her first art exhibit, opening today in the Gallery UTSC. BODY: not my qutobiography. And though the title suggests the grander theme of the exhibit that Calder has compiled and curated, it has still been a labour of love, or hate, or both. Like all artists, Calder has many reasons for her work. The driving forces will become apparent once you step into the Gallery’s little nook of the Meeting Place. You will encounter an exploration of women, of their bodies, their diseases, and their lives of dis-ease. This show will succeed on personal level for many people. The personal is made public. The works exhibited are at once a lament and a celebration. A cry for understanding and a declaration of “You will never understand.” | dropped into the Gallery as Melissa put the show together. What follows is an excerpt of a conversation between friends. A conversation that should convince you that this is not her autobiography. Chris McKinnon Editor-in-Chief CM: | heard you saying you were going to put the date above these pictures... Are they a progression from diagnosis, from then to now? MC: | almost did that... It was just too painful. CM: Do you have those pictures? MC: Yes. The day before diagnosis: No knowledge. And then a couple days after diagnosis, one week later: Knowledge. And it just looks completely different. CM: Really? MC: You can just see it in my face. You can tell in my eyes. MC: Pretty straight? CM: You'd have to get really close t see.. . And be super iies Only tw do that... MC: Maybe ein ir’ sthsight : CM: Good enough... CM: So you don't want this article to mention that you're sick? MC: I’m worried that this is going to become part of the gossip-mill. I’m wor- ried that this is going to be the next hot topic on campus... But what I really want is for people to come and see the show and actually see what it’s about. This is not about me. I’m part of it... I’m a component of it, but there is much more to this than just my narrative. | _think that a lot of [women] have common arratives regardless of diagnosed _ disease, or clinical dis-ease... But | ink rather these are common threads, ommon narratives that run through ‘women’s lives. CM: Do you think that my writing an arti- cle about you doing this show is going to compromise that? MC: Potentially. CM: And how do you feel about that? MC: | feel that I’ve worked so very hard to write about... in my actual [thesis] paper... about things that have rel- evance to women within Western soci- ety and how we live in our own bodies, as being female and being at dis-ease, or having disease... And | think that maybe by writing an article about me specifically, it’s being regressive. It’s no longer just the body, but a personalised one. And one that’s well known... Not _ as a physical body, but one that is well recognised, and one that’s involved. _ And it’s not about me. That’s one of the things that concerns me... ___ And the other thing that I’m concerned about is that through research, and through living it, I’ve realised that people are going to judge me... according to my health, or iack thereof. And the reason that | kept this a secret for so long i is because | don't want to be seen thing different already. ‘ I'm taking a risk. 'm gentblind people want to change their et 2 of me now, then t it's going to be what people | up to them. But still, ly difficult to not know _I don’t want people to come and s see the show because I’m sick... to get the low-down... that’s not what the show is about. That's the exact opppsiis of what this show is about... MC: I’m really not comfortable with this... CM: | know, but that’s what this is about... Isn't it? If you were in a com- fortable place then this wouldn't be any good. MC: If | was in a comfortable place this would not be good. [Long pause.] Are you still recording? CM: Yes, | am. Would you like me to turn it off? MC: Please. CM: Okay now I'm taping. MC: Okay. What t'm saying is that this Arts ’ is anarrative. It may be a progression from young to now, or from diagnosis to disease, to a recovery, or a place of comfort within oneself... CM: It may be... MC: It’s not supposed to be sensation- alising. CM: But what if the whole thing back- fires? What if it turns into the gossip-mill that you're trying to avoid? MC: It can backfire in that sense... CM: Does that give it new significance? MC: It has new significance, but it has — less significance... What | really care about is that the people in this room that have contributed, that have done something, given something that they sontribute, something that they ay... And if someone out there wanis to say something else, and make this about who's sick and who's not sick, or gossip, gossip, gossip ‘Well, that’s | their own disease. [Pause.] Christopher... You're p' s hin me. CM Am | pushing you? Always. Mc: | think that we're living i in a society where disease is so m of a taboo... That living with disease, you're auto- matically stereotyped... People will view you in a certain way. If you have AIDS it changes people’s perspective. If you have ADD or ADHD... If you’ve been raped. You hear or read things that are processed through the media, through different cultural forms, like video, or movies, and art, and magazines... You think of it as a huge, mammoth, awful thing. But when you actually start to live it, it gives a new reality to it. The fact that someone is sick obviously changes their perspective on life. But | don’t think that it fundamentally changes who you are. Your body may change from treat- ment, etc. but | think, more often than not, it’s society that thinks of you differ- ently. MC: The purpose of the show was to explore the whole, to explore the idea of living at dis-ease, or with disease... That’s the whole purpose of the show. And it’s a whole hell of a lot easier to read about it, and research about it, than to actually do it... And that’s where I’m having a problem. Talking about some- thing that’s so private. Publicly, not just in terms of visually, but to actually come out and say it... CM: But isn’t the purpose of the show so that you don’t have to... MC: Hide? CM: No... So that you don’t have to say it. You can stand behind the work now, and let it speak for you. You can say “The work is my comment.” Instead of having to explain this to people yourself, you can say “The art will explain i. because this is too pain- ful.” MC: I don’t a that it's too painful... th ink that the art boa it better ne | MG: At the end of the day, you know, you might have your partner beside you in bed... But at the end of the day, you're alone with your thoughts. And you're alone with your own disease. And _ : no one else is there... People can go home and gossip, and talk about it and pity that person... but then the next topic comes up. Or they can linger on it, but they don’t go to sleep with it. They don’t wake up with it. It’s all within that person. That person has to live with the actual pain. The with breast cancer, or someone in their family was... How funny would it be then? Then they can ask me to see my scar. Just a sec... She walks outside and brings the male and female students that were giggling about the breast-sculpture on the floor, and brings them into the Gallery. “This show is about how we see women and disease... About how their bodies are affected by disease.” The sniggering has stopped. “Does _that change the way you look at it?” she says, pointing from the photo- _ graph of anude woman whose breasts _ have been removed, to the sculpture. _ The students nod. “1 thought so.” physical, the mental, emotional... pain... - anguish... whatever it is. | think part of what I’m saying in my piece is that perspectives coming from outside are becoming old. It’s the same thing all the time. That's what I’m show- ing with the deterioration of images... That... That people’s comments can have an effect on you. And it’s up to you as to whether that is negative or posi- tive. Some days it’s easier to say “Well, you're not going to get me down.” And some days, like everyone else, | have bad days. On those days it’s specifically _ difficult to try and deal with things... Like people that walk by the Gallery and laugh because there are breasts on the floor... | wonder what it would be like for them if tomorrow they were diagnosed Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Opens Tonight, 7:30 The Gallery, UTSC Contact: notmybio@yahoo.com 416.287.5649 (refreshments will be served) ater For grant information, call 1-800-398-1141 AS SEEN B = du Maurier Arts — ™ pd 4uebaebhaeeee (eats 2a ee ae ee eee ee Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Evening Of Theatre About Theatre Was The Mother Of All Plays No it wasn't, but it was dece. THIS IS A PLAY Starring Dave Hale, Erin Howe, and Shelagh Hughes Rating: Kk KKK Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor If you’ve never seen a ‘student play’, you prob- ably associate it with missed lighting cues, over- acted characters and bizarre, confusingly abstract plots. Consisting of two plays ,the aptly-named This Is A Play (it was), and The Actor’s Nightmare., the UTSC Visual and Performing Arts’ Evening Of Theatre About Theatre embraced the conven- tional perceptions of ‘student plays’ and threw it back in your face. PA-DOW! In your face! The evening opened with a faux-Broadway style song and dance sequence that, while its humor wore off in about ten seconds, served as an adequate introduction to the style of play that was to follow, namely, a play that is aware of itself as a play (if that makes any sense). See, the “theatre about theatre” thing wasn’t all talk. That’s about as articulate as I’m feeling right now. Following the dance sequence, the lights faded to black. This is A Play opened with the audience sitting in darkness and listening to a man expound on ‘originality’ (and other such abstract concepts) while what sounded like a film score droned in the background. This performance was actually a play- within-a-play kind of deal. Rather than actually performing the play - a hackneyed drama called A Stranger Among Us - the actors would read stage directions or reveal their actual thoughts on the other actors, the stage crew, and the production itself. Ostensibly, hilarity would ensue. And while this might sound complicated, the cast brought it off seamlessly. Erin Howe (Female Actor), Dave Hale (Male Actor), and Shelagh Hughes (Older Female Actor) gave incredible performances, effectively having to play two different characters at the same time - the actor and the character in the play. Not since Eddie Murphy have | seen such versatility. The ability to convincingly portray wwe Pad Sh RN eee Roe a ae ee ea oy OP 97% % & 6 Aree % § Ke ERAT ARR SR LACES TD E Ka we THE ACTOR’S NIGHTMARE Starring Michael P. Taylor, Krista Watson, Lindsay Forbes, Candace Harnden, and Andrew Epstein Rating: kk IK a character who is trying to portray a character is a concept that is making my brain hurt just to write about, but it must be good. Erin, Dave, and Shelagh all have this ability, so they win. The Actor’s Nightmare, though funny as any- thing, was just a bit unsettling. If This is A Play is a comedy (it is), then this production would be a dark comedy and yes | know that was only half an analogy. Michael Taylor portrayed George Spelvin, who is inexplicably trapped in a play after never having attended a rehearsal. Forced to make up lines and interact with other characters that he knows nothing about, he stumbles and falls through nightmarishly awkward circumstances, into parodies of plays by Beckett and others. The Stage Manager (Krista Watson) feeds lines to Spelvin and often has to act in the play her- self. The other actors (Andrew Epstein, Candace Harnden, and Lindsay Forbes) attempt to cover for Spelvin, leading to a too-long monologue and a hilarious conclusion. Again, the audience became aware that this was a play which was aware of its status as a play, while at the same time being plunged into the sheer awkwardness of having to perform a play you'd never heard of. The monologue, which consisted of Spelvin trying to talk his way out of the situation was perhaps a little too long, but this is not a fault of the perform- ers. Blame the playwright. The VPA Drama crew, including the expert direction of Paula Sperdakos, came through with these two plays. Both productions screwed with your head in a way that wasn’t altogether unpleas- ant, and succeeded in taking theatre to a level that a pothead would probably describe as being, “whoa...So, like... meta and shit.” Meta and shit, indeed. The Underground Groundworks Morgan sat limply in the old dentist’s chair, his face white from shock. Sweat dripped from his brow into his open unseeing eyes. His left arm hung like a wet noodle and ached slightly letting him know something wasn't right. Outside the office door he could hear Zen and the dentist's muffled voices but the words weren't clear. He lifted his good hand and wiped his face. The room swam before his eyes as his vision came back but everything seemed miles away. Gingerly he fingered the soggy mass of skin and bones that hung at his side. It flared with pain and he was forced to vomit in the small sink next to him. Glancing at his damaged arm, it looked surreal, as if drawn by a child. He groaned and drew a breath. His head lolled to one side as the door opened. A short old man with glasses and wispy hair entered followed by Zen. The old man spoke as if he was behind water. “Ah good, you’re awake.” Zen let concern show on her face for the first time in Morgan’s memory as she glanced at the door periodi- Cally. - “Now I’ve called someone who has a little more experience with your particular problem.” The old man continued monotonously. “He should be able to assess the damage and see if you are in need of a replace- ment.” “Replacement?” squeaked Morgan through gritted teeth. “Yes. He specializes in this line of work. Usually his patients are less lively when he salvages their... parts, but I’m sure he will be able to help you.” “You've called an organ-legger?” “Well, he prefers the term ‘retired surgeon’ or ‘organ recyclist, but yes, in a manner of speak- ing. “Great.” “My facilities should be adequate for your operation, the only question outstanding is the one of payment.” “The payment will be worked out after,” Zen interrupted. “My contact will not be happy with...” “Your contact will do as he is told.” Zen said with finality. “Yes, | suppose so,” he replied with displea- sure. Morgan nodded and sagged further in the chair. ‘How did he get himself into these fagging messes?’ he thought. Then, the world faded out around him. rk ‘ He felt himself slipping. Falling. Back into uncon- David Hale sciousness. Back into his memory. The memory of that night. It was a cool night, the sky clear. The smell of cheap cigars filled his nose as he sat in the passenger seat of Martinez’ van. Martinez, the rigger, had this foolproof plan: “...That’s right. 20,000 each. We finish the run as planned. The fuel-air bomb will destroy the mainframe and any records kept by Renraku. We extract the exec. from his office and we’re scott-free.” Morgan shifted uneasily in his seat, “But what about...?” “Don't worry,” Martinez smiled, his grin as plastic as his dashboard. “None of them will suspect a thing. They all trust you. With a reputation like yours they'd follow you into the depths of hell.” Little did they know that they would do just that. Morgan felt a chill at the truth of the rigger’s words. The team mostly consisted of rookies aside from Martinez and himself. Queue, their Decker, only signed on for this job because he heard that Morgan was heading up the ee iv Groundworks operation. The fair haired youth had smiled when he met Morgan and shook his hand with a zest that Morgan had only seen in BTL junkies right before they plugged in a chip. “A pleasure Mr. Morgan. | hope to do you proud.” Darkfeather, the shaman, followed Raven as his totem. Raven is greedy by nature and so are his fol- lowers. Darkfeather had signed up with little question when he had heard about the payoff. Raised outside of Seattle in the lands of the Cascade Crow, he was reasonably experienced in his art but naive in the ways of the street. Somehow he still believed in the inherent goodness in people. How wrong he was. Chrome, the youngest of the group, figured him- self for a Street Sam because of his few implants. He resented Morgan for his experience and considered him over the hill because his cyberware was a few years old. He thought he was hot drek all right. But it was his own self-assuredness that would cost him his life. *weREK Morgan’s memory swam inside his closed eyes. In the real world the sound of machines monitoring his heart rate and blood pressure filled the room. He got a brief glimpse of a dredlocked head bobbing to a pair of headphones as he carefully severed the skin of his shoulder with a scalpel. Then darkness and fear reached up to drag him back down into unconscious- ness. Fear. The fear he felt of that night came back with a vengeance. The eager faces of the other runners whizzed past as he fell. Suddenly he found himself sit- ting in Martinez’ van surrounded by them. Their excite- ment hung in the air only heightening his guilt. He was sure one of them would notice. One of them would suspect him because he couldn’t meet their eyes. He forced himself to be cool, unaffected. He ignored the nagging voice in the back of his mind. wk * There was a flash and he was deep within the walls of the Renraku Pyramid. The runners were in high spir- its. The timer was set on the fuel-air bomb; they were almost finished. They moved as a group. Chrome bully- ing the bound and blindfolded corporate exec. down the hall. They neared the exit doors that would lead them to Martinez’ awaiting van and then to freedom. As they got close Morgan was bombarded by second thoughts. “_..No wait,” he said. “What is it?” asked Darkfeather as the group slowed. “C’mon we're almost there,” answered Chrome. “No wait... Let's use the other door, this one’s... compromised.” “What do you mean? There isn’t a living guard in the area and we still have a three minute window before Lone Star shows up,” said Queue concerned. “No its not that... its...” Morgan frowned warring with himself. “Don't be paranoid old man, we’re home free,” quipped Chrome pushing the exec. out the side door the group in tow. j As the door swung open, Martinez stood before them his Ingram Smartgun in hand. “What are you...? Why aren’t you in the van?” asked Chrome pushing the exec. to his knees. “Now Morgan!” snarled the rigger. “Wha... Started Darkfeather as twin MCT Rotodrones dropped to eye level and opened up with their mounted weapons. Morgan drew his Guardian and took aim ant the back of Queue’s head as the Decker stood stunned. Morgan fired and turned away as Queue’s body toppled to the ground. Guilt turning him inside out. The smell of blood filled his nostrils as the Rotodrones tore apart Darkfeather with rapid fire. Amid the machine guns barking like rabid dogs, Morgan could hear the rigger’s maniacal laughter. The blood. The floor slick with ooze. The screams of his dying teammates. Chrome dodged to one side as Darkfeather fell. “You backstabbing slotter!” he yelled as he drew his pistol. Turning he was caught in the crossfire of the twin Rotodrones and Martinez’ Ingram. The gun slipped from his fingers as triple lines were drawn across his chest. “Fraggin’ slot...” he gurgled as he fell. Morgan’s guilt overwhelmed him. His team. His friends. All lay dead and bleeding around him. He stepped over Queue’s motionless body. The cool night air washed the stench of blood away as he walked outside. He shook with remorse as he stepped past Darkfeather and Chrome. “Good work Morgan, all according to plan,” Martinez said with slime in his voice. Morgan felt sick as he walked past him. It wasn’t worth this. They were all dead because of him. All dead. “Don’t feel bad chummer,” Martinez continued. “Just Wednesday, March 19, 2003 think about the payoff.” Morgan ignored him and stood facing the wind. Behind him he heard the rigger slide a fresh clip into his Ingram. The hair on the back of his neck stiffened. “Don't feel bad... just think about the payoff,” Martinez said again with a sneer in his voice. “That's all that matters right? Its all about the nuyen,” he replied coldly his fingers tightening around his Guardian. “That's right... that’s right chummer. Don’t worry, it’s all over now.” Morgan spun in place as the rigger fired. Slugs tear- ing through the folds in his long coat. The air around him vibrated as the shots whipped past. He squeezed the trigger as a scream of rage escaped his lips. The bullets tore into Martinez. Up his chest, his neck, his jaw, snapping his head back. His eye, his forehead, blowing the top of his skull open and taking him off his feet. The drones wobbled in the air and lost direction as their connection to the rigger was severed. The trio crashed to the ground. The drones twitching in mock death throws. Morgan froze the Guardian clicking in his hand, his scream dwindling. Slowly he sank to the ground holding his head. He felt sick in the pit of his stomach. The world spun around him and he was forced to close his eyes. He knelt, shivering, overwrought with grief. Somewhere inside the building an explosion shook the foundation. Mission Completed. Morgan’s eyes flicked open as sirens filled his ears. Lone Star. He pushed himself to his feet. Holstering his pistol he ran. He ran until his lungs burned and his legs ached. He ran into the shadows, burying himself in their darkness. Disappearing into their safety. xk*e* He shot up in his chair. Their screams. Their faces all coming back. Haunting him. “No! Get away from me!” he cried “Just relax Mr. Morgan. We're almost done here. You’re doing fine,” replied the street doc soothingly. Then to Zen “Help me retrain him.” She nodded and pressed him back into the chair as the doc injected another syringe into his arm. “No... No...” mumbled Morgan as his body relaxed. He trailed off as he went back under the anesthetic. His eyes fluttered for a moment and he lay still. “Good boy Mr. Morgan, we’re almost done here.” Heenan SSG & Sasa aaa us ty” Groundworks The Underground Andrew C. Epstein (TLOD) WHAT DOES THAT PEEL LIKE EXACTLY? T | NO! | PAI ae, ot Life Deconstructing AIDS Wednesday, March 19, 2003 ee ye w | i : . Christian Lucier Life Editor About thirty students and three guest speakers gathered in the Council Chambers last Wednesday for an educational seminar that deconstructed AIDS and its effects on the world today. This deadly disease was discussed in a number of ways, but the focus was primarily on the _ international, academic, and local levels. The guest speakers at this seminar were Adele Halliday, a Resource Coordinator of Global Education for World Vision, Wendy Medved, a representative from the Polaris HIV Seroconversion Study Group of the University of Toronto, and James Murray, a member of the AIDS Committee of Toronto. Halliday handled the international portion of the seminar. Her presentation focused on the ongoing problem of AIDS cases in Africa. Halliday stated that 70% of Africans have HIV and that a staggering 95% of all AIDS cases worldwide are based in Africa. Of those infected with the HIV virus, the majority of these people die in their 20's, 30's, and 40’s. Due to this pattern in the age of death, an entire generation of Africans is absent, which obviously results in a number of serious problems. There are frighteningly large numbers of orphans, a plague of starvation, and a serious lack of medical supplies, just to name a few. Over the last ten years, World Vision has been implementing community-based mobilization programs to help people in need. The design of these programs are fo educate and inform Africans about HIV and to provide support where it is needed, be it food, shelter, or medication. One key pillar of these programs is to follow the ABC’s, which stand for Abstinence, Be faithful, and use a Condom. Halliday also showed a video from a small community in Northern Tanzania where similar programs have made a change for the better. Clean and healthy children were shown in class singing songs containing words, such as: “| know where the AIDS virus hides.” The video provided hope that the horrible plague of AIDS in Africa could be combatted with education. The next speaker was Wendy Medved. Medved’s presentation was incredibly complex and very difficult for a layman to follow. At times, it felt like one needed a medical degree in order to understand the series of complex charts and graphs that were shown. If anything, Medved’s presentation had one interesting point, which was that in Ontario from 1992-1996 there was a decrease in the presence of HIV, while from 1997 on, there has been a drastic increase. Medved notes that there are numerous theories as to why there has been an increase, but there has not been any definite conclusion. After a short break from Medved’s presentation, James Murray took to the stage. Murray began with a few comments about some of the tasks and activities the AIDS Committee of Toronto does. Not only does this committee supply food to those with AIDS who cannot afford it, but also they have implemented a buddy system where members can get a chance to get out of the house and socialize. Murray also focused on an ad campaign implemented by the AIDS Committee of Toronto to promote condom use. This campaign was called the Condom _ Country campaign. What is important to note about the Condom Country campaign is that since it was an ad campaign, a lot of people were exposed to it and took in the message. However, as Murray points out, even though ad campaigns are effective, they are incredibly expensive and competitive. Unfortunately, there will not be many more campaigns such as this, due to the expense. Murray also touched on the lack of resources. He points out how the government will only give a certain amount of money every year to each organization, but since the epidemic is getting bigger, the resources just don’t meet their requirement. All in all, the seminar was very infor- mative and well-run, but considering the severity of the subject matter, it was sad to see such a small turnout. The Underground Cam Steed Are you Irish? “No.” Are you drunk? “Not yet.” The spirit may be in him... Mr. | don’t wanna give my name cuz | have authentic Irish stuff (??7) Are you Irish? “Yes.” Finally... Are you drunk? “No, but | have a shille- lagh!!!” Apparently he’s cool cuz he has an authentic leprechaun walking stick, made by a leprechaun... Coolness, dear sir, is denoted by drunkenness on this day of days... Nazhia Nasir (who, at the time, was work- ing a shift at Tim Horton’s). Are you Irish? “No.” (I think we should have known the answer to that question...) Are you drunk? “No.” (We probably should have known the answer to this one too...) fffight?” Gordon Lane Insanely drunk.” Get The Dirt. John Loerchner Are you Irish? “Irisher than you...” Are you drunk? “Fffffuck, youuuuu. Wanna Are you Irish? “Very well yes | am yes.” Are you drunk. “In relation to you? Say What? While essentially a Catholic holiday St. Patrick’s day has become synonymous with the celebration of the Irish. Hence, it is also a celebration of drunken- ness. As stated in “The Boondock Saints” everyone is Irish on St. Patty’s Day. So The Underground went around the school mid-afternoon on Monday to see if anyone was celebrating in true Irish style. Apparently The Underground staff are the only ones dedicated to the spirit of the holiday. This is espe- cially surprising considering only one of them has a hint of Irish in him..We were too drunk and couldn't come up with a witty insult for those who are indeed Irish but were not indeed drunk, so we'll simply say that if you are Irish and weren't drunk all day Monday then you have been insulted. How? We don’t know, just know that you have been insulted; maybe it has to do with your mom... Fathima Mohiuddin Are you Irish? “Um, well, no?” Are you drunk? “Hey? Shit...” i fom (=\olaalmaalola-e Life ‘| Garth Jensen Are you Irish? “No.” Are you drunk? “No.” So simple you are, | myson... David Fish Are you Irish? “No, I’m not.” Are you drunk? “No, I’m not, surprisingly enough.” I’m surprised too... James Joyce Are you Irish? “Yes.” Are you drunk? “No.” Ye shall be punished severely for invoking such a sacred name . as Joyce, on such a Sacred day as St. Patty’s day, and for being such a sacred thing as Irish, but not being the epitome of sacred which is drunk! MILLENNIUM EXCELLENCE AWARD PROGRAM COMMUNITY: SERVICE * ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT. « LEADERSHIP. «INNOVATION I fehirelatel Mmiabxee)el a=) awards 2003 hm VoLUManl-\-1m lames i(cla(oMolateMole-M-1a)i-Yalare mn Zel¥] am (Ki mawZo) NisYelaMe) mere) {-Yol-Mol am Ulale (Tae lxele [Ulont-MUlaINA-TRTLA AAC Le [=F this scholarship, worth $4,000 to $10,000, may be for you. www. millenniumscholarships.ca/incourse #Q° CREATING OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE NEW MILLENNIUM Life Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Sa Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) The other night | found myself at the Bloor Theatre watching Dark Side of Oz for the umpteenth time. For the uneducated, Dark Side of Oz is the classic film, The Wizard of Oz, with Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon played instead of the movie soundtrack (it really fits, kid- dies). At any rate it was more crowded that it tends to be, which of course meant there would be a lot more of us hot-boxing the balcony than usual. This suited me just fine. Actually, it was a wonder- ful sight to see. | wondered to myself if this was what Amsterdam was like, and then | wondered if Toronto would follow suit. | mean, it’s not like the police ever come and bust people in the theatre. I’m sure the pigs... | mean the police have a lot more important things to do than to arrest a room of people smoking pot (one young man’s plea for acid fell on deaf ears). Perhaps it was a sign that more and more people are embracing the sort of free spirit that Toronto only claims to have. Aleister Crowley said “do what though wilt, shall be the whole of the law’. It would be nice to think that Toronto is going to be ground zero for that. Lots of people would say that would only lead us to Armageddon, but | for one would welcome it. | think that if the world were wiped clean and nature got a second chance to make things right, then the uni- verse might be a lot better off. But in reality if the world were restarted, we’d probably end up somewhere near where we are. The threat of “war” presides over every newspaper headline, and people cower in fear. It’s come to the point where millions of people all over the globe fear death from above every day. It’s just that people on this side of the Atlantic have never really done so until now. So it’s officially global fear now. People have never really been given a choice as to how any of these things will go down. Nobody really gets to make any real decisions, only “choose” those who make them (in the cases of our neighbours to the south, that didn’t even happen this time). So here we are with no choice in the matter, and we are constantly being told that we might die at any time, in any place, by any means. So we must always be vigilant because your mother could be a terrorist and she might try and steal your freedom. Funny, | had assumed that McCarthyism was dead. But the face of “evil” has just been changed in the slot machine of hate and ignorance. _It feels like an impossible task, to pry ourselves out of the spokes of self-destruction. So we all go bipolar and feel hopeful one moment and despair the next. We are never sure we can breathe (although the toxins in our air say we shouldn't), or even say what we feel. Feelings are bad you know, so are opinions, unless they are the same as the ones that people have on TV. In the end there’s only going to be one person on Earth, with only one thought in its head, but it won’t remember what it was. | don’t think anyone could pinpoint the actual moment where everything started to slide. We'd be arguing forever (or for as much time we have left) if we tried. | guess | feel that we're past the point of no return that any moment everything will come to a head. | could just see the story in the papers, if there was going to be one. Why Didn’t We See It Coming? By some asshole Yesterday at approximately 7AM EST, US forces laid Baghdad to waste with napalm charges. However Iraqi president Hussein had already beaten the Americans to the punch by killing off most of his own population with massive execu- tions, but a spokesperson for the US military felt that the American people should be shown that the US military budget is being used for something. Two hours later PLO and Israeli forces clashed in battle in the middle of Tel Aviv. The sound of gun- shots and mortar fire could be heard for miles. The fighting spread, and most residential areas lay in ruins. Most families both Arab and Jew have been reduced to wandering nomadically from place to place in a desperate search for food. Back in the US four nuclear bombs that had been smuggled in through customs in someone’s under- wear decimated New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Washington DC. With no government or celeb- rities to tell them what to do the American people exploded in a mass of rioting and murder. The KKK emerged in full force as hundreds of Klansmen marched north lynching blacks and homosexuals wherever they could find them. Most people fled north in fear of the mobs, but to no avail as all pleas for a peaceful resolution by the Canadian govern- ment were ignored by the angry masses. You get the picture. Every day we're told that we are one step closer to death. Whether it’s our own, our country’s, or the whole world. But that night in the theatre, freedom actually did exist. Which says to me that for everyone pulling in one direction, there’s a few of us pulling back. I’m pretty sure the former will win this global tug-of-war, but at least we'll get in some fun before it’s all over. * Association of Part-time Undergraduate Students * (APUS) Spring Referenda: March 25-28 Don’t forget to vote by mail (NO online voting) APUS is holding referendum votes on three questions this spring: a dental plan for part-time undergraduates, a cost of living increase to the APUS fee, and a part-time undergrad levy for The Varsity newspaper. The full wording of the questions has already been published twice in The Varsity (March 3 and March 6 editions), and can be found at www.apus.utoronto.ca. All part-time undergraduates currently registered at the U of T St George campus, U of T at Scarborough, and U of T at Mississauga, are eligible to vote. Part-time undergrads should be receiving ballots in the mail anytime between Thursday March 20 and Monday March 24.There will be NO online voting. Ballots must either be mailed in, using the pre-addressed, postage-prepaid enve- lope provided, or placed in one of the special drop boxes provided. Referendum drop boxes will be place in both APUS offices on the St George campus, in the EPUS office at UTM, and in the office of the Scarborough Campus Students’ Union (SCSU), Room B-330, in the B-wing of UTSC. To vote by mail (Canada Post, NOT Campus Mail), ballots must be mailed by 5: 00pm Wednesday, March 26 in order to arrive on time. To vote through one of the drop boxes, ballots must be dropped off at one of the locations specified above by 5pm on Friday March 28, which is the deadline to receive all ballots. If you have any questions, please contact the APUS Liaison Officer: (416) 978-7594 OR sundaram.apus@utoronto.ca. The Underground Life University of Toronto At Scarborough Cops’ Hair Cropped for Cancer UTSC Officers in Annual Cops for Cancer Headshave Event Cpl. Chris Charalambous UTSC Police On Thursday April 03, 2003 between 12 - 2 pm in the Meeting Place, six UTSC Police officers, as well as six UTSC students, will be participating in the 3rd annual on campus Cops For Cancer Head Shaving Event. The officers and students have pledged to have their heads shaved in an effort to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society and show support for children with cancer. With the support of the Scarborough Campus Student Union, this year’s effort can be our best yet!!! Please come out for fun, pizza, raffle prizes and of course, to watch the officers and students donate their hair in the fight against cancer. The Cops For Cancer Campaign started in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada in 1994 when Gary Goulet The UTSC Performance Art Class Presents of the Edmonton Police Service met Lyle Jorgenson, a five year old boy who had cancer. Goulet requested the meeting after learning that Lyle was being teased at school because of his hair loss due to chemotherapy. Goulet was so moved by his story that he decided to do something about it. The officer shaved his head in order to show Lyle that it was cool to be bald. Goulet then took his cause to the Edmonton Police Service where other officers also pledged to have their heads shaved in the fight against cancer. To date, the Cops For Cancer campaign has raised. over $11 million across Canada. Together we can make cancer history. Are you a BSc student or graduate? Wondering what to do with your science degree? Don't want to spend 7+ years becoming a MD? , Consider a career an afternoon of perfork March 25 3-0) EAE In The Meeting Pl With performances by: _ Gail Brignell : Kendy Chan Gary Chen John bicnnae Heather Kanabe Brad Meisner Madeha Khalid Kevin On Sumera Khan B. Pollard Jonathan Lai Eliza Yeung Margate! eae eae Please RSVP to info@michener.ca or (416) 596-3177 in health care. Health professionals don’t just work in hospitals —- many indi- viduals with an entrepreneurial flair start their own practices or work in non-traditional envi- ronments. Fields like Chiropody and Acupuncture offer a variety of employment options, including starting your own practice. If you're self directed and interested in health care, come to Michener’s information session on entrepre- neurial health careers. Information Session: Thursday, March 20, 2003 6:00 — 8:00 pm The Michener Institute 222 St. Patrick Street, Toronto (Dundas & University) EN Sa LEO Ee For Applied Health Sciences Events Wednesday, March 19, 2003 If you know of an event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Due to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! March 19 4:15-6PM Jack McClelland, Writer-in- Residence, 2003. The Department of English invites you to a Reading by Dr. Albert Moritz. A Reception will follow the Reading in Massey College Common Room, Massey College, 4 Devonshire Place. Room: Massey College Upper Library. March 19 5:15-6:15PM Bronfman Lecture. Andrea and Charles Bronfman Chair in Israeli Studies presents: Professor Yaron Ezrahi, the Israel Democracy Institute, and the Hebrew University of Yerusalem will discuss: Could the Current Arab-Israeli Conflict “Produce” another Israel? Munk Centre, 1 Devonshire Place. Room: Campbell Facility. March 19 7PM _ R.M. Vaughan & Michael Holmes. Toronto-based visual artist and writer R.M. Vaughan will be reading selections of his poetry in response to the Textile Museum’s Boys with Needles exhibition. Admission is $7.00 for non-members; $6.00 for mem- bers, students PWYC. Textile Museum of Canada, 55 Centre Avenue (Dundas & University, St. Patrick Subway) Toronto. 416-599- 5321, info@textilemuseum.ca, www.textilemuseum.ca. Boys with Needles runs until May 4, 2003 March 19-20 The National Job Fair. 50-100 attending exhibitors will be looking to fill a variety of positions, as well as answer all your questions. An ideal place for col- lege arid university students to seek full-time or summer employment. Metro Toronto Convention Centre, Exhibit Hall C, 255 Front St W. Info: Suzanne Thompson 416.323.9149, ext. 402. March 19 5-7PM Joint Centre of Excellence for Research on Immigration and Settlement (CERIS) Seminar. Mr. Charles T. Adeyanju addresses topics of international migration, race and ethnicity relating to migration from Nigeria. All are welcome to partici- pate. CERIS, 5th floor, Room 548, 248 Bloor W. http: /iceris.metropolis.net. Info: 416.946.3110. March 20 7:30PM When the Body Says No. March 19-26, 2003. Opening Reception March 19, 2003 at 7:30PM, The Gallery, University of Toronto at Scarborough. BODY-Not My Autobiography, curated _ by Melissa Calder. Unique perspectives and works sur- rounding women living with disease or living at dis-ease in Western society. The works displayed in this exhibit explore the female body as other, object, or abject. notmybio@yahoo.ca March 20 4:30PM _ Halving Premature Mortality Worldwide Sir Richard Peto, Professor of Medical Statistics and Epidemiology, University of Oxford. Global Life expectancy has improved more in the last 40 years than in the preceding 4,000 years. Substantial extension _ of these remarkable gains is possible. Medical Sciences Building. Room: 3153. liliana.federico@utoronto.ca March 20 4:15-6PM Department of English - Lecture Series Professor Thomas Keymer (Oxford University) will give a lecture titled Sentimentalism, Philanthropy and the Novel. University College, Room: 161. Tanuja _ Persaud 416-978-6039, english@chass.utoronto.ca. March 20 6-8PM Celtic Studies Speakers Series. Colm Lennon, Department of History, National University of Ireland-Maynooth. The Beginnings of Irish Catholic fdee Roby Art th http://www.utoronto.ca/stmikes/celticstudies. Alumni Hall, 121 St. Joseph Street. Room: 400. Jean Talman 416-926-7145, jean.talman@utoronto.ca. March 20 4:30PM “In the Margins: Medieval Prayer Books and their Users.” Leonard Boyle Memorial lec- ture by Eamon Duffy, Magdelene College, Cambridge. USMC Alumni Hall, 121 St. Joseph Street, Room: 100. Info: Ann Hutchison, 416-926-1300 x 3396. March 20 6:30-9PM Video by Frank Dorrel, held at the border by Canada Customs “WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT U. S. FOREIGN POLICY: CIA COVERT OPERATIONS AND PENTAGON INTERVENTIONS SINCE WORLD WAR Il.” Room 179, University College, 15 King’s College Circle. Free, donations appreciated. The 2-hour video is a compilation of excerpts from 10 different professional US documentaries, edited together by Frank Dorrel. fdorrel@addictedtowar.com, www.addictedtowar.com, http://scienceforpeace.sa.utoronto.ca, 416-535-6605. March 20 7PM Satan Macnuggit Popular Arts And Majestic Nights of Film Excellence Present THE FUCK GEORGE BUSH FILM FESTIVAL. Innis College, 2 Sussex at St. George. Free. March 20 11AM Media collage workshop as part of Media Subversion Day. The Fireside Lounge, Fine Arts Building, York University. Middle of nowhere. Contact Jonathan Culp at satanmacnuggit@tao.ca or 905-562-7267. MEDIA COLLAGE WORKSHOP, MEDIA SUBVERSION DAY. March 20-25 Opening reception March 20, 8PM TRINITY SQUARE VIDEO & InterAccess Electronic Media Arts Centre. A Retrospective of his Performance Work on DVD. TSV Gallery, 401 Richmond Street W., Suite 376. TSV will be presenting a retrospec- tive of Stelarc’s performance work in conjunction with his visit to Toronto to present his latest project ‘Prosthetic Head’. www.trinitysquarevideo.com roy@ trinitysquarevideo.com. InterAccess Electronic Media Arts Centre, 401 Richmond Street W., Suite 444 http: /Iwww.interaccess.org, 416.599.7206. Gallery Hours: Tuesday to Saturday, noon - 5:00 p.m. March 21 8PM_ Celebrations!: Hatzis@50, Birthday Celebration. Music of Christos Hatzis: Melisma, Arctic Dreams, Quartet no.1 “The Awakening”, http: /Iwww.utoronto.ca/music. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park, Room: Walter Hall. Price: $20 adults, $10 students & seniors. Purchase Location: Faculty of Music Box Office. 416.978-3744. March 21 8PM World of Music - World Music Ensembles Gala Concert. A celebration of the rich musical heritage of the world. Featuring Balinese, Japanese and African drumming and dancing music. http://www.utoronto.ca/music. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park. Room: MacMillan Theatre. Price: $12 adults, $6 seniors and students. Purchase Location: Faculty of Music Box Office: 416-978-3744 March 22 7PM The No Weapons In Space Campaign (NOWIS) invites you: public forum: “WEAPONS IN SPACE - Projecting Power from the Heavens or Peaceful Collaboration?” Sanford Fleming Building, tibial andder Period © 288+ + CERLEAS LRME NIG, O1OKing's College Rd. Free. 416-927-7686 or ferguson@socialjustice.org. March 22 10AM-3PM Summer Sublet Saturday Student Housing Service Details: (416) 978-8045 terry.johnston@utoronto.ca March 24 8PM Shoshana Shier Distinguished Visiting Professor in Jewish Studies Lecture Series. Visiting speaker: Prof. Wolf Moskovich, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem: “The Russian Aliyah and Israeli Society.” 15 King’s College Circle, Room: 140. Eva Hollander (416)978-8118. March 25 10AM-4PM Refugee Law Office, Legal Aid Ontario invites you to: A presentation on the “Immigration & Refugee Protection Act.” (IRPA) Metro Hall, 55 John St., 3rd floor, Room, 308/309. RSVP by March 23.BY FAX: (416) 977-5567, or email Tabibzan@lao.on.ca. March 25 7PM Lecture - Ethnic Cleansing of Poles in Volhynia, 1943-44. Polish Students’ Association at UofT and the Adam Mickiewicz Foundation in Canada invite you to a lecture by Krzsztof Lada, Ph.D. Candidate, Department of History, University of Alberta. Music Room at Hart House-free. kb.piskorz@utoronto.ca. March 25 7-11PM Open Studio -- Deal Me In Open Studio needs to find a new home... and the artists in the Studio have created a dazzling deck of cards to raise money for our move. Come to Hugh’s Room for Deal Me In! It’s a party and silent auction of original art (bidding starts at $25) to launch Open Studio’s deck of playing cards. 54 unique images by Open Studio art- ists. Hugh’s Room, 2261 Dundas St. W. (South of Bloor, near Dundas W. Station). Free. Featuring Vegas-style performers: Amy Nitrate spins Jazz, Lounge, Funk + Disco. 416.504.8238, emailoffice@openstudio.on.ca, http://www.openstudio.on.ca Dress Vegas!!! March 26 4PM ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES SEMINAR: Toronto’s urban forest: its role in carbon sequestration and air pollution mitigation. By ANDY KENNEY, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Forestry, University of Toronto; http://www.utoronto.ca/ env/seminars/env-spring.html. Earth Sciences Centre, Huron and Bancroft Streets, in Geology section of build- ing. Room: 2093. Mona El-Haddad 416-978-6526 m.elhaddad@utoronto.ca. March 26 2:30-4:30PM Working in Canada for International Students. Career Centre, Details: (416)978-8001 terry.johnston@utoronto.ca. March 26 9PM YYZ Books and Pages bookstore present: A launch party for Why Stoics Box Essays on Art and Society, by Jeanne Randolph, The Gladstone Hotel. With live music Ratsicule and other bands March 27 ArtBar (FASA and Drama Society) Enjoy an evening with the Fine Arts Student Association (FASA) and the Drama Society in the Attic. ArtBar is open to all students and the public, we will enjoy voluntary performances by students in music, dance, theatre, performance art and more. Afterwards we will take a chartered bus to an artsy bar in Downtown Toronto and dance the night away with friends. Email fasa_utsc@yahoo.ca for more details. NOG Se at NE . ry ~ < oe _ > oe is he > a - > . " > = i > ~~ UTSC's student Newspaper since 1980 Wednesday, March 26, 2003 » or this. thal ) the Acade results that esident. We orange alerts Wee against F pir af Ae. ‘ia @ 3 i ate ei aa i me i iy = ie ze Waging war to protect your freedom since 1980 Viome 22, Issue 24 f Wednesday, April 2, 2003 2-4 pm (formal remarks at 2:30 pm In the Meeting Place Come celebrate what you made possible! An afternoon of Live Performances « Music « DJ * Food & Fun UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO AT SCARBOROUGH a % Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Can you read Arabic? The Underground is seeking a person or persons to translate Al Jazeera’s website, most especially their cartoons (which, incidentally, are pretty funny even though we can’t read them.) _If you’ve got the skills, email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Did we mention cash rewards? That’s right. Cash Rewards Also in this Issue: Editorial p.4 Letters p.4-5 Events Listings p.1 6 News (or Views) The News In Brief p.6 Aris Grand opening for BODY not my biography p.? UTSC writers of all kinds come out for open mic night p.10 OME BEIM "The Underground 3 Staff Writers: _ Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, 4 Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, H Sarah Barmak, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. | ~ Contributors: | z Paula Forst (photography) Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 4265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Email: — undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ RT ee cee Ai p://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ New Gameboy released sans earphones p.11 Life SAC Party A Failure p.12 Columns Satan's Bakesale p.13 Comics p.13 Frog in My Throat p.14 Weekly Haiku p.15 Summary of Incidents p.15 Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia Missing In Action Gordon Lane Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Vacant Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground’s snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer's name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). The Underground Watching CBC Newsworld last Sunday night, | was surprised to hear that the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation was being lam- basted by an American during a feedback segment with Rex Murphy. For those of you that know Murphy, his grizzled visage and beady, shifty eyes are the stuff that nightmare monsters are made of. Worse still, this American fellow was making him grimace. In an email decrying the CBC’s coverage of the War on Iraq, this poor American chap was lamenting about the “biased” coverage that we were airing. It’s true, the CBC’s coverage, on Sunday in particular, was markedly different than that of CNN or MSNBC. What gives? Sunday had been something of a slow news day, with little in the way of new events to convey. While everyone sat ready, waiting for more bombs to fall on Baghdad, CNN happily aired footage of U.S. Marines taking Iraqi villages, and paid homage to the 10 or so Marines that had been lost in firefights with bands of Iraqi soldiers who had pretended to surrender. Those tricky Iraqi’s... Always fight- ing dirty. Then there was the “humiliating” coverage of those 5 U.S. POWs, being interviewed by Iraqi TV reporters. And the scandal of the grotesque footage showing dead U.S. soldiers being broadcast on Al Jazeera, an Arabic satellite television network. On the CBC, and other Canadian media, we were told repeatedly that the more graphic images could not be shown, as they were pro- hibited by the Geneva Convention (Article 13, incidentally). Meanwhile on CNN, and other American networks, we were simply told that the images were too graphic to broadcast. A subtle difference—but one that confers a very different sense to the viewer. The CBC's tactic lets you know that the images exist, that they are prohibited and that they are gruesome (and even where you can find them, sort of: http://aljazeera.net/). CNN, on the other hand, only tells us that the images exist, and that they are “far too gruesome and disturbing” to air on television. CNN did not tell us where exactly the images had come from, but did say that they had been broadcast, propaganda-style, in Iraq and other Arab nations, and that they were solidifying Arab opposition to the War on Iraq. CBC told us that Al Jazeera, a television network based in Qatar, has been broadcasting not just those graphic images of American POWs, but also images of Iraqi women and children killed in bomb- ing campaigns, the atrociously named “collateral damage.” CityTV went even further, commenting that coverage of the War on Iraq in the Western news-media (read U.S. coverage) has shown buildings falling, and the skies of Baghdad lit by cruise missiles and explosions, but images of human casualties have gone unbroadcast. That is until Sunday, in Canada, when CBC decided to air footage of the American POWs. Global said that they would have too, except that they didn’t get the Al Jazeera footage. Monday morning the Gobe and Mail ran photos of the POWs on the front page, and a fairly gruesome photo of an Iraqi man lifting an injured child—whose foot was dangling from bloody shreds of flesh--a few pages later. And the voluntary media-black-out continues in the United States, as we go to press. At the Pentagon’s request, CNN and the other big U.S. networks continue to withhold those graphic images, originally recorded by Iraq’s national, government-controlled television network, and then picked up by Al Jazeera. President Bush has accused the Arab network of violating the Geneva Convention, which prohibits the broadcast of footage that might subject POWs to “public curiosity, insult or humiliation.” From what I’ve seen of the POW footage, those soldiers look frightened and a bit nervous, but their Iraqi interviewers seem fairly genial, and no one really looks all that humiliated. The U.S. fears that their troops will be demoralised if they are exposed to the footage... What seems. more likely is that the American public might recon- sider their support for this dubious war if they were to see the “human face’—or rather images of Iraqi children lying in pools of blood with their skulls ripped open, Iraqi civilians whose bodies have been man- gled by shrapnel and debris, and, yes, American soldiers that have been killed in battle. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief P.S. The Underground is still looking for next year’s Editor-In-Chief... Come on... you know you want it... it's almost like you can taste it... ah... there it is: The sweet smell of newsprint. Editorial | Letters RE: Underground’s Deconstructing AIDS Speaker Event Review Although it was nice to have this event reviewed in the Underground, there was a huge error in last week’s article. 70% of Africans do NOT have HIV or AIDS. Adelle from World Vision said no such thing. Yes the infec- tion rates are high in some parts of Africa, and in certain other regions of the world, but 70% is a huge stretch. However, in Sub Saharan Africa, the prevalence is as high as over 30%. HIV/AIDS has indeed taken a huge toll on the people in this region and others as well. If you would like to help, there are many AIDS organizations listed at http:/Awww.icad-cisd.com/content/ membership _list.cfm?lang=e, that you can volunteer at or support financially. This is the first year that such an event regarding AIDS took place. It was a suc- cess! | would also like to take this opportunity to thank all those who took the time to donate to the AIDS cause and learn more about its many implications. We have raised over $400. The money will be going to the AIDS Committee of Toronto, Black Coalition for AIDS Prevention, Alliance for South Asian AIDS Prevention and Canadian Foundation for AIDS Research. | would like to also thank The Women’s Centre, IMANI, SCSU, SAC, LGBTQ, Animal Protection Society, Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, The Health and Wellness Centre and Amnesty International Youth Campus Group. And last but not least, the AIDS Awareness UTSC Committee. Cheers Shirin Yilmaz Coordinator, AIDS Awareness UTSC mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters Chris Rodley: How did [James Spader] cope with doing certain scenes? He has to fuck a wound in Rosanna Arquette’s crash-damaged leg! David Cronenberg: In the character that Rosanna Arquette played, there's a definite humour involved. But people are pretty grossed out by that scene, | must say. But for me and for James it was just, ‘Well, it’s in the book, it’s in the script.’ It made perfect sense and was integral to what's happening with those characters at that time. Being involved in strange sexuality that is a mutation--not genetically but physically--through scars, car crashes, and self-mutilation. It was just a question of how to do the scene effectively. The way you would do a dialogue scene. ... CR: There's another very confrontational scene of anal sex between Deborah Unger and Spader. They're in bed, and Unger talks throughout =| their fucking about Vaughan and his scar. How it must smell of stale semen. 4a et cetera. ee. Wl DC: She's very verbal there because what's happening is that they’re incorporating Vaughan into their sex life. So the way she talks-getting _ her husband aroused by talking about him having homosexual sex with — Vaughan--means there are really three people in their scene. That is very close to who the scene is in the book. That was a difficult scene to do, but in bizarre ways. You can’ "get hair to look the same when it’s messy! You can’t get pillows to scrunch up the same way! | had those agonies, as well as getting the scene to work. | For the movements to be sexy, elegant but awkward. And finding the right ’ | tone. . 4| - from Chris Rodley’s interview with David Cronenberg, in |) the introduction to the screenplay of Cronenberg's film adaptation of || Crash, published 1996 by faber and faber. | http://www.utse.utoronto.ca/~undergr Letters MEMORANDUM TO : Principals, Deans, Academic Directors and Chairs FROM : Robert J. Birgeneau, President Shirley Neuman, Vice-President and Provost DATE: March 17, 2003 RE: Freedom of Speech and Campus Activities The University has a unique role in society in guarding the principles of freedom “of i inquiry and free speech. These principles have been won over the centuries in the face of numerous attempts to thwart them. Academic freedom, freedom of speech and freedom of association are among the most important values held in the University. Of necessity, this means that there must be freedom to examine, discuss, debate and communicate controversial issues. However, we must also remind ourselves that such freedoms do not give license to prejudice. The University, as a community of scholars, has an equal responsibility to | expose hate for what it is, and condemn hatred in all its guises. This is best achieved by reinforcing the values of civility and diversity and supporting the basic principles _ that define the Academy. Often, at times of international strife and conflict, strongly-held statements and | communications are made on campus that can be perceived as biased, uncomfort- able or intimidating by those on the opposite side of an issue. On such occasions we | need to show tolerance and respect for the human rights and fundamental freedoms of all members of our community by calling on our traditions of civility and freedom of expression. We must remind ourselves that opposing ideas and criticism are not inherently intolerant, or synonymous with hatred. Ideally, academic freedom and freedom of speech should coexist with a respect _ for human rights and fundamental freedoms of all individuals. This approach eschews | intolerance and intimidation by acknowledging that freedom of speech does not extend to defamation, or to communication of hate literature, which is, after all, a | Criminal offence. Various University of Toronto policies reflect the sensitivity that fac- ulty, students and staff must exercise in facilitating the coexistence of these rights. | Attached are links to some of the relevant policies. In addition, statutes such as the Ontario Human Rights Code, the Charter of Rights | and Freedoms, and the Criminal Code, as well as the common law, subject all members _ ofthe University community to obligationsin exercising rights such as freedom of speech. During these turbulent times in many parts of our global community, it is especially important that all those on campus respect the University’s policies and the law, so | that freedom of speech, academic freedom and freedom of association may be safely _ enjoyed in an environment of tolerance and mutual respect, free of harassment. The University administration will work to ensure that these freedoms are respected. We | emphasize that anyone who engages in activities that compromise these freedoms, | and those who violate university policies and/or the law, will be held responsible for ' their actions. Relevant policies related to freedom of speech and campus activities Many | University of Toronto policies deal with the delicate process of ensuring that freedom of speech can co-exist with the similarly important values of respect for human rights _and liberties, all in the context of the applicable laws of the land. The following pro- vides a brief summary of some of the relevant portions of these policies. Please refer to the policies for further details. Statement on Freedom of Speech - the Statement identifies the fundamental importance of freedom of speech, but also notes that the purpose of the University requires an environment of tolerance and mutual respect. It indicates that every | member of the University community should be able to work, live, teach and learn in an environment free from discrimination and harassment. Statement of Institutional Purpose - among other things the Statement |notes that freedom of speech, academic freedom, and freedom of research are | meaningless unless they entail the right to raise deeply disturb- ‘ing questions, and provocative challenges to cherished beliefs. The state- 'ment also refers to the University’s vigilant protection of human_ rights. | Statement on Human Rights - in the Statement, the reference to the University’s | “fundamental and distinctive commitment to freedom of thought, inquiry and expres- sion” is followed immediately by an affirmation of its commitment to the values of equal opportunity, equity and social justice, and later, by a commitment to act “within _its purview to prevent or remedy discrimination or harassment “ on listed prohibited "grounds. | Policy on Recognition of Campus Groups - the Policy states that in its rela- _tions with campus groups, the University “is guided by a commitment to the right of University members to communicate and discuss and explore all ideas, to organize | groups for any lawful purpose, to move about the University and to use its facilities in a reasonable way, to distribute on campus, in a responsible way, published material | provided that it is not unlawful, to hold meetings, to debate and engage in peaceful | demonstrations, and to freedom from discrimination on the basis of sex, race or reli- ion.” 4 Policy on Disruption of Meetings - the Policy affirms that the essential University function of being open to question and debate on any subject “requires, as a prereq- _uisite, freedom of speech, keeping in mind that all persons on campus are subject to the law of the land, and to University policies, when these apply.” Moreover, the Policy states that every member of the University “is obligated to uphold freedom of speech and the freedom of individuals and groups from physical intimidation and harassment.” The Policy sets out recommended steps for dealing with disruption that has the effect of denying freedom of speech. The steps start with a request to desist, a warning that disciplinary action could result, and eventually a request to leave. Adjournment may be necessary, during which time the University may take steps to protect the ittp:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Bik. Wednesday, March 26, 2003 ee SS a ee ee basic right of freedom of speech (including obtaining injunctive relief if necessary, and obtaining outside assistance), with a goal of restoring freedom of speech. Statement on Prohibited Discrimination and Harassment - The Statement reiter- ates “the University’s commitment to the rights of freedom from prohibited discrimina- tion and harassment and to the rights of freedom of expression and inquiry” and “rec- ognizes that the task of implementing and respecting those values within the unique environment of the University is a delicate one.”. It states that the University aspires to achieve an appropriate balance between these rights in order to maximize the capacity of every individual to flourish to the fullest extent possible.” The Statement unequivocally states the University’s commitment to be vigilant in the protection of human rights, and to foster an environment free from discrimination and harassment, in accordance with the Ontario Human Rights Code. Code of Student Conduct - Among other things, the Code lists offences that include threatening or causing someone to fear for bodily harm; creating a condition that endangers health or safety; threatening damage to person or property; engag- ing in a course of vexatious conduct directed at an individual or group based on listed prohibited grounds of discrimination, and that exceeds the bounds of freedom of expression and academic freedom as those are understood in University policies and practices; and causing or threatening a disturbance that obstructs organized University activities or the right of members of the University community to carry on their legitimate activities, to speak or to associate with others. Network Services - Appropriate Use of Information Technology - The Policy states that the use of information technology resources supplied by the University “is cir- cumscribed by codes such as the Code of Student Conduct, the Code of Behaviour for Academic Matters, the Ontario Human Rights Code, and the Criminal Code of Canada in concert with various rules and guidelines adopted in local units. Everyone bears the primary responsibility for the material he or she chooses to access, send or display. The facilities may not be used in any manner to create, send or display mate- rial which contravenes the relevant policies or statutes.” University of Toronto Police Policy - The Campus Police are charged with main- taining a peaceful environment and ensuring that all members of the community can pursue their business without fear of safety or security. Among the values by which the police fulfill this mandate are respect for the dignity, privacy worth and diversity of all persons, and equality of access and protection of civil rights and liberties. SEEN BY. Arts Wednesday, March 26, 2003 ing in recent memory. The autobiography, was curated fifth year Arts, Management enior Residence Advisor. Bee een ‘keeps jas never seen this many lines representations of with disease or at dis- ll 416-287-7646 or email ore information. Chris McKinnon | Eidotr-in-Chief « , » -) 00.8%. 6-2. 68:82 SaeeC ake veroeee Ss Of Oe eS © we ADAP AAALAC AA AT , Wn Ve, s% 5 Hs, HH Be | 5 Ha Pa Mh ey Mh Ms aM Tyte Pa i» F444 Py te My Os Oy Os Pe Po Ba bo ba hy s Sa bgbads http://www.utsc.utoronto. ealoundargral 9 The Underground Keith Friedlander Arts Editor sale) Kos-pan Clo) ge lela ent UTSC writers of all kinds come out for open mic night Last week, on St. Patrick’s Day, Professor Garry Leonard hosted an open mic night in The Attic and a number of students showed up to read and perform their works, many of whom were from Leonard’s own creative writing course. While the majority of readings were poetry, there was also a good deal of fiction and other various styles of ora- tory. Encouraged to give generously and support the arts (re: the bar), there was plenty of good drink and good perfor- mances to be enjoyed. Along with samples of Leonard’s own writing, taken from some of his works in progress, notable performances included an attempt at standup comedy, a couple of melodic rock songs and a brave roast of Leonard himself. Although staff were also invited to come read, none had the courage to even show up. The strong turnout of students however, was encouraging to see for the community of writers attending this campus. Another opportunity for writers to strut their stuff came just yesterday evening in yet another open mic night at The Attic. It’s nice to see these evenings coming at a steadier rate, but it would be even better if they were more consistent and perhaps made a regular event in the future. Perhaps next year with the pos- sible reformation of an English student group there will be more organization amongst events like these. Ohi Aww IRE Jutéronitd:catthidergnd/ Soar, NR Arts Wednesday, March 26, 2003 New Gameboy released sans earphones Gaming in sensory deprivation There’s always , been something strange about Nintendo’s marketing strategies when dealing with their handheld devices. Anyone old enough to read this article knows that the Gameboy has been the biggest device for portable videogames since the 80s. Nintendo milked that little guy straight through to the end of the century, always finding new ways to revitalize its markets, even going so far as to unleash the Satanic swarm of imps we now know as Pokemon upon our society. And it worked. The system ran for a solid decade before they even bothered to make a version with a colour screen. Finally, two years ago, Nintendo decided it was time to give the gamers of the world something new. Deciding that the ludicrous hunger of nostalgic gamers for 16-Bit ports from the SNES had reached its peak, they unleashed the Gameboy Advance, complete with a line up of dated... err... classic titles ready for our consumption. It was a glorious day in the sad little lives of those of us who still play Gameboy (‘*sniff*). With Nintendo's new fixation on tiny technology, the new GBA proved to be the most convenient of portable systems and hit the market with a solid line up of games. There was just one problem. The screen wasn't backlit. Translation: Unless you could either a) tilt the screen so it caught the light at just the right angle or b) harness the power of the sun by sheer force of will and direct it onto your GBA, you could not see shit all of what was going on. Some people com- *Not valid-with any other offer, At participating McDonald's Restaurants in Ontario. Offers at participating Restaurants may vary from those shown, McDeals™ | every day of the week. \n ‘ WH Keith Friedlander Arts Editor plained. Some people ordered custom lights and installed them into their GBAs themselves. Some people just cranked their neck, grinned, and bared it. Now, in an unprecedented move of ravenous marketing prowess, Nintendo releases the Gameboy Advance SP. With a new design that makes it look like a bloody Palm Pilot and the addition of the much needed backlit screen, the new GBASP is set to answer the complaints of the GBA users. The Underground has managed to prepare a review of this new device for your pleasure. Please note that our obtaining it did not involve going to the local EB, tearing their display Gameboy out of the wall and running like hell. Well, that’s the story we're sticking with. As far as the new design is con- cerned, the GBASP is very comfortable to hold and effective to use. The new button layout is convenient and although the new smaller shoulder buttons look odd they work just fine. With the new backlit screen, players will actually be able to see all the action as well as some of the beautifully drawn backgrounds of dark games like the Castlevania series. Being able to play in lower lighting envi- ronments makes the GBASP much more versatile as a portable device. While there were fears that the new light would make battery drain an expensive issue, the GBASP’s new rechargeable power source with ‘new battery technology’ keeps the battery at a respectable 10- hour charge. The new hardware is also incredibly small and light. This tiny little foldout weighs just around 5 ounces. Certainly the most amazing use of tiny THURSDAY Filet-O-Fish® technology for a portable system yet, you might worry about crushing it in your hands, but the machine remains durable. There’s just one little problem. In making the new Gameboy as miniscule as possible, the Nintendo’s wise and benevolent designers decided they didn't need a headphone jack. So, if you want to listen to your games with headphones (which many people do when playing a portable machine in public), you will have to buy a separate adapter. This may seem like a small complaint in light of the product's strong points, but Nintendo’s consistent development and marketing of needlessly flawed products is frus- trating. | went from needing an attach- ment to see my Gameboy to needing an attachment to hear it. I’m sure they'll fix that when the GBASPXL comes out in another year, but by then the handheld will be too small to actually hold in my hands and I'll have to buy some attach- ment for that too. Is it worth buying a GBASP? Probably not if you already own a GBA. It's the same system with a flip top and a light switch. Of course it is the superior product if you’re looking to buy your first portable. Still, it's strange that Nintendo went from holding out on updated tech- nology to creating excuses to sell us new __hard- ware. Atleast we don’t ever have to worry about them appealing to passing fads and cheesy gimmicks. SUNDAY a Double Quarter Pounder® Cheeseburger The Underground Life Christian Lucier Life Editor | am still trying to figure out what the hell SAC was thinking when they put on a party (if it can be called that) in the Meeting Place last Thursday. God knows why, but | actually thought a lot of people were going to attend this event, consider- ing there were a number of fliers for the event posted around campus. However, the sight that was presented before me that night...oh god...the horror. Picture this; it was 10:45 at night and the party started at 9:30pm. Before | even stepped in the Meeting Place, my hand was branded with the biggest damn stamp that | had ever seen. Seriously, it was the size of Texas, not to mention the fact that | had to scrub off four layers of skin just to get it off. After getting my ‘tattoo’, | walked into the Meeting Place and it was empty! Sure, there were a few people sitting in the comfy leather chairs, and there was one group of girls dancing, oblivious to the tumbleweeds passing them by on the dance floor. For the most part, the Meeting Place was about as populated as a wasteland. Having the party in the Meeting Place was the first of many mistakes made by the SAC. The odds of this place fill- ing up were about as good as me being prepared for my exams. Not going to happen. In short, the party should have been held in the Attic. Despite the fact that the Attic is a crappy venue in itself, it would have brought the few attendees closer together, and raised the party vibe a notch. The first thing | looked for was the bar, but all | could see was a section of the Meeting Place closed off by a number of those office-type cubicle walls. Upon closer inspection, | discovered that this section, completely excluded from the dance floor and pretty much everyone there, was the bar. Why the hell was the bar hidden and closed off? This makes no damn sense at all. What was even more disappointing about the bar was the security to get into this speakeasy. Get this, | showed my ID to the two secu- rity girls, and | am let in. Fifteen minutes later, | go to the washroom and on my way back in | am asked for my. ID again. Every time | left the bar area, | had to word of the week! : SAC Party A Failure show my ID to get back in. Let's just say for the sake of an argument, it was dark and the two security girls had trouble distinguishing faces, so they had to keep asking for ID. Fair enough, but why didn’t anyone think to issue wristbands to those 19 and over who wanted to drink. This would not only have saved time, but a great deal of hassle as well. Moving on to the bar itself, | saw three bottles of liquor and a couple of ice bins filled with domestic beer. Having a couple different types of beer is cool, but only having three bottles of liquor is a bit weak. If someone there were to have asked for a “Broken Down Golf Cart,” they would have gotten a “Broken Down Whisky, Vodka, and Rum.” The bar ser- vice was fair enough, and there wasn’t much of a wait for a drink. However, the bartenders had to follow some pretty stupid' rules, such as only being allowed to serve two drinks at a time to one cus- tomer. | was there with three friends and we were buying rounds, so we had to go up in twos. Who thinks up these rules? | don’t know anyone that would buy for himself/herself at one time four drinks, which come poured in plastic cups. The third drink would be piss warm by the time he/she got to it. | suppose a person might chug all four drinks, but we all know where that ends up, and if someone is stupid enough to perform such an act the consequence bloody well serves them right. SAC should have handled the bar in a more mature fashion. Treating cus- tomers like children is certainly not what | would call hospitable. | guess | should say something positive about the night. The music was upbeat and lively, and the DJs were trying to work the crowd (more like patches of people) as best they could. | am not always this negative, but! am tired of making an effort to attend UTSC social events only to be annoyed and disappointed. | used to blame the crappy events on the turnout, and it puzzled the hell out of me as to why so few students attended these events. Thanks to SAC, everything has been put into perspective. No one comes to these events, because bluntly speaking, the majority of them noun: 1. A salad plate usually consisting of chopped meat, anchovies, eggs, and onions, served with oil and vinegar. 2. Any mixture or assortment; a medley; a potpourri; a miscellany. 12 suck in terms of how they are organized and carried out. However, | may just be sticking my foot in my mouth (not the first time). It is quite possible, and even prob- able that SAC had to follow some strict protocol that turns a party into a wake. Either way, if | was to organize a party and was told that | had to follow a bunch of stern guidelines, | would drop the idea all together. A party is suppose to be fun, spontaneous, and heaven forbid, a little out of hand at times. It is wrong to perceive a party as having some sort of formula. To use an example from many UTSC pub nights: take some students, throw in some booze, add a pinch of music, and voila, party central. Not exactly. A good party needs initiative and intent, something that the SAC seems to have forgotten. D STALE Ti i ! | mow ALD A IOP NRITTEN [HEBTSINEE| nor secomeroeo a ei com Milk IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE MARCH 28 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Wednesday, March 26, 2003 2 | | want YOU for Satan's Army! Or the Devil’s personal ad Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) In the past three weeks people have been coming up to me and telling me that they actually read this little column, so because of that | want to open Satan’s Bakesale up to you, the people. Your task is to email metalresidue@hotmail.com and let me know what makes you angry, sad, or laugh. Generally | want to know how you all are. | want to use your words for a future column because we all need a voice. But | will guarantee that NO ONES name will be used because | know how hard it can be to just put yourself out there for everyone to see. As readers you need a voice, and it shouldn’t always be me. So as much as people claim that | like to hear the sound of my own voice, it's just not true. | want to hear what you have to say, because if you've identified with anything I’ve ever written here, | know you have something on your mind. | thank God for the suffering, Andrew P.S. “Since man’s natural instincts lead him to sin, all men are sinners; and all sinners go to Hell. If everyone goes to Hell then you will meet all your friends there.” — Anton Szandor LaVey Andrew C. Epstein (TLOD), Columnist DO WHAT ns HAPPY tl E HAP Be ante? http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 1 The Underground “Life Frog in my Throat the War for Art A Merika |. Ramundo UTSC’s Student Village Centre was a hubbub of activity on Monday, March 17" 2003. No, it was not a grand St. Patty's Day celebration as one might think but rather students gathered around the large screen t.v. to witness the coming of the first “large scale” war of the millennium. George W. Bush’s speech to his nation was as robotic as an assembly line, devoid of emotion or an inkling of anything exhibiting that this man has a soul. As you probably can tell by now, | was and am still very upset by everything going on in the world today. President Bush’s speech left me staring blankly into the television set. The anchor’s mouth seemed to move in slow motion and all | could hear was static. Suddenly, | felt someone tap me on the shoulder. He was a stranger to me but a familiar face on residence. He asked,” Are you watching t.v.? Would you mind if | played the piano?” “I! don't mind at all...please by all means,” | replied still in somewhat of a daze. Still staring at the screen the sound of Mozart filled the air. | knew it was Mozart. And | knew it just because | did. Then suddenly, it hit me. The desperation in the air, the impending doom of innocent victims of war, the lack of communication and understanding brought on by selfish, political motivation tat et | eens and pride — all this could not’stop the’happiness | fel when | listened to that student struggling to hit those notes correctly. His struggle was something that every- one of us should have the right to experience. His was a struggle to create and not to destroy. As the tears welled in my eyes | stood up and approached my peer, fellow resident and stranger. This time | tapped him on the - | shoulder and said,’Please don’t ever stop playing.” He looked up at me with a very perplexed look on his face and nodded. And that was that. | walked away feeling both disturbed and comforted. There is no doubt in my mind that art has a way of getting us through the bad times. It has a way of making us stronger and united even when we disagree. It has the power to conquer souls and engage our senses and minds. Art makes us entirely aware of our mortality and how we must appreciate and respect the lost and loved people, ideologies, movements and sentiments of the past. Art hurts, heals, inspires, instigates while allowing us to escape from the moment, the real, the wired, the televised. What is most upsetting and surprising to me is when people get upset about government funding for the arts. The way | see it, if governments can allocate billions of dollars to the military“with “bhi eye, they should be able to allocate just as much, if not more to the arts, education and healthcare systems in their respective countries. Is it not just to provide people with the tools they need to build well-rounded citizens? Terms like “shock and awe” and “the coalition of the will- ing” sound more like titles for pieces of art than military or political lingo. Perhaps that’s the paradox of it all. There is an art to war and there should be a war for art. What do you think about the place of art in the world? Write me: ramundoelmundo@yahoo.ca The University of Toronto Alumni Association and the Provost of the University of Toronto invite you to celebrate the achievements of this year’s recipients of THE AWARDS OF EXCELLENCE or, AND THE NORTHROP FRYE AWARDS ata ceremony on MOonpbay, APRIL 28, 2003 Hart HOuSE Ny n Ny Assoc Award Presentation: The Great Hall, 5:30 p.m. Reception: East Common Room, 6:30 p.m. 2003 AWARD RECIPIENTS FACULTY AWARD Professor Judy Watt-Watson Faculty of Nursing CHANCELLOR'S AWARD Elizabeth J. Isbister Office of Student Recruitment JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD Dean Carl Amrhein Faculty of Arts and Science Dr. Margaret Procter Writing Support University of Toronto JOHN H. MOSS SCHOLAR Jessie C. Thomson University College 14 UTAA SCHOLARS Katherine Cassaday Victoria College Michael Goldberg University College Meghan Roberts Trinity College Gavin Stanley Victoria College Zinta Zommers Trinity College LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE Dr. William E. Seidelman Department of Family and Community Medicine Faculty of Medicine NORTHROP FRYE AWARD Professor John Percy Department of Astronomy and Astrophysics University of Toronto at Mississauga Surgeon Scientist Program Department of Surgery Faculty of Medicine ADEL S. SEDRA DISTINGUISHED GRADUATE AWARD SCHOLAR Alison McGuigan Department of Chemical Engineering and Applied Chemistry For information, please call Linda Wells at 416-978-6536 RSVP (acceptances only) by April 14th, 416-978-0424 or e-mail linda.wells@utoronto.ca Business attire Limited seating ADEL S. SEDRA DISTINGUISHED GRADUATE AWARD FINALISTS Jorge Sousa Department of Adult Education and Counselling Psychology Mahadeo Sukhai Department of Medical Biophysics Adam Chapnick Department of History Francoise Ko Department of Pharmacology Parissa Safai Department of Exercise Sciences —__- _ — —x—<<<—<<— ee Eee http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Wednesday, March 26, 2003 io eal Taal eXe)acotalm@-Valalelelated=)eal=y abe akeolaaMiat-Wit-Yelhiike lm e) iret) « University of Toronto at Scarborough Police « Summary of INCIDENTS University of Toronto Police at Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Toronto, ON M1C 1A4 Telephone: (416) 287-7398 Fax: (416) 287-7641 E-Mail: police@utsc.utoronto.ca 1. Final Examination Schedule Now On-line The final Examination Timetable is now posted on the Registrar’s Office website: www. utsc.utoronto.ca/courses/exams- tests/current.html In keeping with our community policing philosophy, the following occurrences are being brought to the attention of the University Of Toronto community. If you have questions or information about any of RESO AIN Ch. dents, please do not hesitate to contact the pays oy Gomme) 287-7398. Examination Conflicts: If you have examination timetable conflicts, or if you have three consecutive examinations, please report the problem to the Scheduling & Examinations Office, Room S416A. SUMMARY OF INCIDENTS Mar. 14/03 @ 7:30 am: AUTSC staaember reportedtffat sl she slipped abd big fell on an icy walkway near parking lot “A”. Minor, infuries, medical ae declined by complainant. ? : Ref: 03-001-0701-012 Mar. 14/03 @ 9:06 am; utc Police eee one counterfeit stabil receNNed by the UTSC Bookstore. ¢ £ Ref: 03-530-200B-005 ¢ y & Religious Observances: Any student whose examination timetable is in conflict with a religious observance may receive special consideration by contacting the Associate Dean, Professor lan McDonald at: ian.mcdonald@utsc.utoronto.ca Ref: 03-007-0701 0 Mar. 17/03 @ 11:00 am: uTs¢ Police loc the Torontagmbulanfe Service responded to the 2nd level of the Humanities Building for‘a, red pal com- © plaint. A male student: ‘was tran§ported to hOrgital for treatment, . Ref: 03-001 -200H- 014 ‘ ty 2. UTSC Calendar and Registration Guide Distribution RE Ge, Mar. 17/03 @ 2:53 pm, tA UTSC. ‘student reported that his, vehicle had been broken into while parked in the outer lots. Total theft/damage, ‘ele $1200. y 4 % % Ne ya Ref: 03-730-0250-003 \ \ ess f Mar. 17/03 @ 6:05 pm; UtSC Police ¥esponded to a report of a fire in the Maple Construction site. Thé,fire was extinguished by officers using a por- table fire extinguisher. \ te Ref: 03-003-0701-011 % . ~*~ Mar. 18/03 @ 11:35 am; AUTSC stage reported ‘HB theft of cash from her BS wallet. Value approx. $20. . Stara RT Ref: 03-430-0701-009 The 2003-04 UTSC Calendar and Registration Guide (including the Summer 2003 session) will be available for pick-up in the Meeting Place on Wednesday, March 26" and Thursday, March 27" from 10:00 am until 4:00 pm. After these times, they can be obtained from the Registrar’s Office, Room $303. www. utsc.utoronto.ca/registrar Mmmmm... Kurds and whey... as 3. How Trimestering Will Affect You As of the Summer 2003 Session, UTSC will be in a full trimester system. To learn about how this will affect you, please go to the Registrar’s Office website: www. utsc.utoronto.ca/trimestering 4. Fee Deferral When fighting Iraq There’s lots to be afraid of At least there’s no sharks No more long line-up’s at the Registrar’s Office...No more supporting documentation needed...Why? There’s a NEW on-line fee deferral process. Available April 10". Be sure to check it out! www.utsc.utoronto.ca/finaid | http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 15 The Underground » If you know of an event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS?” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Due to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! March 26 4PM ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES SEMINAR: Toronto’s urban forest: its role in carbon sequestration and air pollution mitiga- tion. By ANDY KENNEY, Assistant Professor, Faculty of Forestry, University of Toronto; http: /Iwww.utoronto.ca/env/seminars/env-spring.html. Earth Sciences Centre, Huron and Bancroft Streets, in Geology section of building. Room: 2093. Mona El-Haddad 416-978-6526 m.elhaddad@utoronto.ca. March 26 2:30-4:30PM Working in Canada for International Students. Career Centre, Details: (416)978-8001 terry.johnston@utoronto.ca. March 26 9PM YYZ Books and Pages book- store present: A launch party for Why Stoics Box Essays on Art and Society, by Jeanne Randolph, The Gladstone Hotel. With live music Ratsicule and other bands March 27 ArtBar (FASA and Drama Society) Enjoy an evening with the Fine Arts Student Association (FASA) and the Drama Society in the Attic. ArtBar is open to all students and the public, we will enjoy voluntary performances by students in music, dance, theatre, performance art and more. Afterwards we will take a chartered bus to an artsy bar in Downtown Toronto and dance the night away with friends. Email fasa_utsc@yahoo.ca for more details. March 28 _ Free Friday Films. Screenings are in Innis College, Town Hall, 2 Sussex Ave. (at St. George), at 7:00 PM. George Washington (2000) The FULL 2003 Schedule is available on the CINSSU website www.utoronto.ca/fff. March 28 7:30PM Stop secret trials in Canada: how democracy is being undermined in the name of “Security”. Speakers include Sophie Lamarche Harkat, Amina Sherazee and Rocco Galati. Friends Meeting House, 60 Lowther Ave (two blocks north of Bedford and Bloor, near St. George subway). March 28 ‘WE CAN STOP THIS WAR!’ Fundaraiser concert for the TORONTO PEACE MOVEMENT. Hamilton’s warsawpack (www.warsawpack.com) will hit the stage of the Reverb (651 Queen St. W., at Bathurst) with Toronto’s own Dope Poet Society (www.justusleaguerecords.com) and up-and-comers The Counter Clockwise Orchestra. www.tcaswi.org. 416.516.5982, working_against_time@hotmail.com. March 28-30 TORONTO SOCIAL FORUM - Resistance & Alternatives To Corporate-Led Globalization, Themes: a city with human rights and justice for all; popular democracy and public control; a green Toronto and a green world; a world without violence/colonialism - against war and for peace. TSF is an on-going interactive educational and mobi- lizing process. Info/register: 416-979-5000 x7046, tsf@ryerson.ca www.torontosocialforum.com. March 28 8PM _ Faculty Artist Series - Scott St. John’s. Fabulous Five: Bruckner Viola Quintet; 16 Dvorak Viola Quintet no.1; Mark Fewer & Erika Raum, violins; Scott St. John & Douglas McNabney, violas; Simon Fryer, cello. http://www.utoronto.ca/music. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park, Room: Walter Hall. $20 adults, $10 students and seniors. Purchase Location: Faculty of Music Box Office 416-978-3744. March 29 1:30-4:30 PM Media and Muslims. Speakers Sadia Zaman, Tarek Fatah, and Libby Stephens discuss the muslim’s place in the media. Forum For Learning is a bi-monthly series of discussions/dialogue to erfhance our knowledge about every aspect of our faith, remove barri- ers and help us network and interact with each other in a modern pluralistic society. $5 for adults, toonie for stu- dents. Limited space, RSVP Sohail Raza 416.505.1613, 416.505.6052, raheel@raheelraza.com. March 30 3PM UTSC Wind Ensemble and Special Guests Hannaford Street Youth Band to perform FREE Concert The Meeting Place FREE call Cultural Affairs 416.287.7076 or visit www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~cultural for more information. March 30 Noon-6PM Screening at 2:30 THE SALIVATION ARMY RELEASE SCREENING!!!PLUS SATAN MACNUGGIT GOODIES TABLEAT FRUIT MARKET: THE QUEER ARTS FESTIVAL SNEAKY DEE’S 431 COLLEGE ST. UPSTAIRS Fruit Market is offering a chance to check out over 30 zines and crafts March 31 7:30 PM Fabulous Fiction: Aimee Laberge, Laura Lush, Rachel Preston It's a night of fiction! Author Aimee Laberge will be reading from her new novel “Where the River Narrows”. Author and poet Laura Lush brings us her newest collection of short stories, “Going to the Zoo” author Rachel Preston will be reading from her debut novel “Tent of Blue” http:// www.uoftbookstore.com Hart House Room: Hart House ~ Library Lynn 416-946-7685 March 31 7PM University Professor Lecture Series - Richard Lee “A Tale of Three Communities: Anthropological Lessons from the African AIDS Crisis” Richard Lee will deliver a talk entitled “A Tale of Three Communities: Anthropological Lessons from the African AIDS Crisis”. visit www.artsandscience.utoront 0.ca Isabel Bader Theatre 93 Charles Street West Ana Rittinger4 16-946-5937arittinger@artsci.utoronto.ca March 31 6-9PM United Nations Day for the elimi- nation of racial discrimination forum on respond- ing to current crisis.RSVP 416.392.0371. Limited space available. Council Chambers, Toronto City Hall. 416.392.0371 March 31:7PM CARING FOR THE EARTH IN YOUR OWN BACK YARD - Lorraine Johnson is Canada’s foremost native plant expert and Lorraine will talk about gardeners as stewards of the earth, and the intimate connections between the sanctuaries we create in our backyards, and our own individual well-being. Free. 200 Eglinton Ave. W., Multi-Purpose Room. Info: Cindy info@ntgc.ca 416-781-7663 April 1,7-8PM THE CRIMINALIZATION OF ROMANI CANADIANS: “GYPSIES - GUILTY IN PRINCIPLE.” Patricia Ritter, Immigration Lawyer, will discuss the now — disbanded Toronto Gypsy Squad, the subject of “Gypsy — Criminality,” and the effect this had on the acceptance — of Romani Convention-refugee applicants from Central- — Eastern Europe Wetmore Hall 300 Huron Street Room: 51C Dr. June Larkin416-978-8282jlarkin@oise.utoron to.ca lotal number of times we mentioned Qscar this issue: (just this once) The Underground would like to extend a warm “thank you” to Michael Moore for speaking out . against war, and also for getting you to pick up this issue of our paper. http:/www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ SUN ego Wednesday, April 2nd 2003 REGIME eT el= NICELY Underground® _ parades Coalition Forces report SCSU PoWs CARTAN GEMM cieme in Issue 25 pages and pages. and pages of war coverage inside!!! teh ery : ev} s aoe Peay Ley - wm ee ee ee we R SINCE 1980 - Bandurka and Coalition in ‘quagmire’ Christina Watson SCARBOROUGH, Ontario (UNDERGND) - Underground Editor- In-Chief Chris McKinnon said Monday that SCSU and the Women’s Centre are being “defeated on all fronts and are retreating in the face of strong strikes” carried out by a popular resis- tance. He said that the One Voice leader- ship is “contradicting itself” in state- ments and its stance is the “subject of laughter in the world.” McKinnon accused the coalition of wanting to exploit UTSC’s natural resources and being a pawn of “the Commie bastards” referring to Dan Bandurka and his supporters, whom he repeatedly accused of inciting the war. “If they continue to be stubborn with their aggression, we will attack them with all we have,” McKinnon said. “No one will be safe except for those who surrender to us in our por- table at the end of S-Wing.” He added that the public and (stu- dent) government are unified in their fight against the coalition. McKinnon described the coalition’s election problems as a “quagmire,” a term often used in the Vietnam con- flict. Quagmire referred to U.S. forces being bogged down in Vietnam with no end in sight. “The aggression has to stop,” McKinnon said. “We are determined with God’s help to give the ultimate defeat to those aggressors,” he said. “And with each day, the SCSU, and the Women’s Centre wade into a quagmire, and the losses increase for those two outlaws.” McKinnon said that Underground reporters are working with student groups and the Erindale Campus, and seeks to have the Governing Council demand a halt to the “One Voice” campaign. He said he hopes the Council exercises its jurisdiction. “If they [SCSU and the Women’s Centre] go further in the aggression, they will increase their losses, and the rift between them and the students will be bigger,” Tremblay said. “They will increase in the hatred and the feelings of hatred between them and the Underground Staff and all the people of the world.” He said, “Dan Bandurka is talking a lot of lies and fabrications because lies are the golden rule of the current SCSU administration. “They have been lying to their people, they have been lying to world public opinion and now they are fall- ing victim to their lies.” He added, “They only have one chance, which is to withdraw quickly. That will save them more losses.” McKinnon said that The Underground is following the rules of the Geneva Conventions. “| can assure you that the © Underground editorial staff is being — treated very well, according to the Geneva Conventions and our own [lack of] values.” ‘Regime Change! Now!” UTSC Students Chet Tolstoy SCSU and Women’s Centre coalition forces are reportedly making steady progress towards Underground headquarters, in the secret under- ground portable hideout. Coalition forces have been sty- mied in their attempts to make a rapid “decapitation” assault on the Underground Staff, and their allies. Spokespeople for the coalition have claimed that they will continue their assault “as long as necessary, to lib- erate the people of UTSC from the evil of Chris McKinnon.” In the halls of UTSC, there has been an odd calm, punctuated by SCSU and Women’s Centre troops and some coalition supporters waving flags and banners that read the words: “Regime Change. Now.” SCSU President Dan Bandurka has made repeated pleas. to Underground Staff to “rise up” and “overthrow” the evil dictator and his minions. This plea has recently been extended to UTSC students at large. He reports that coalition forces have taken control of several key computer terminals, and that McKinnon’s forces have been “severely weakened.” Much feared are McKinnon’s squad of — “heavily armed” children--known as “Chris’s Lion Cubs”--and their deadly suicide attacks. Many of the Women’s Centre forces are also weary of battle, having suffered significant losses to “friendly-fire” incidents — with SCSU forces. i It was believed that McKinnon may have’ been killed or injured in an attack of heavy bombardment, early this morning. Reports from Underground supporters assured us that McKinnon is “alive and well.” The Underground has also released humiliating footage of SCSU PoWs, which SCSU Officials are claiming violate the Geneva Convention. CNN has refused to air the footage, in the interest of public decency dnd morality. th Tune to http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/ ~undergnd for details and updates as the story unfolds. Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Can you read Arabic? The Underground is seeking a person or persons to translate Al Jazeera’s website, most especially their cartoons (which, incidentally, are pretty funny even though we can't read them.) If you’ve got the skills, email us at undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Did we mention cash rewards? That’s right. Cash Rewards War, War, and More War!!! (everywhere except on the following pages) Deadly plague puts UTSC at risk p. 7 Artbar brings the arts together p. 9 Things Fall Apart p. 9 You Too Can Be This Cool p. 12 Spare Some Change for a Greener UTSC p. 14 U Of T Student Only Study Space At UTSC p. 14 Event Listings p. 18 The Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. Contributors: William Chow, Nadine James, Veronica Lo, Cpl. Chris Charalambous Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 4265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON » MIC 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Email: | undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http:/www.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Dee ee nt nace LL ol A=, Eno. kos =, UD ee ES ee ge http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia Missing In Action Gordon Lane Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Vacant Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng ’ Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer’s name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). arcane aT) The Underground Embed This! Geraldo Rivera, of talk-show fame, was let go by the Fox News net- work after he drew a map in the sand that depicted the approximate loca- tion of some U.S. troops on live television. Rivera was not an “embedded” journalist, but troops now have orders to pick him up and send him to Kuwait, where he will no longer be able to report directly on the war. Peter Arnett, a Pulitzer-prize winning journalist, was given the boot by NBC after he gave an interview to Iraqi TV, and said “It is clear that within the United States there is growing challenge to President Bush about the conduct of the war and also opposition to the war . . . The first war plan has failed because of Iraqi resistance. Now they are trying to write another war plan.” Originally, NBC defended Arnett’s statement as a professional courtesy to Iraqi journalists, but later withdrew that statement in favour of the following: “It was wrong for Mr. Arnett to grant an interview to state- controlled Iraqi TV, especially at a time of war . . . And it was wrong for him to discuss his personal observations and opinions in that interview. Therefore, Peter Arnett will no longer be reporting for NBC News and MSNBC.” It seems to me that both Arnett and Rivera were both just doing their jobs: trying to make sense of this war for the folks back home. I’m not really sure how a vague map drawn in the sand could reveal top-secret information about where U.S. troops are stationed. | don’t see how giving an interview to Iraqi TV, especially one that expresses a fairly widely-held opinion in the West, could be “wrong.” The overwhelming majority of journalists in Iraq are “embeds,” which means that they travel with, eat, sleep and live with units of the Coalition Forces. All the concerns | ever had about “embedded” journalists seem to be proving justified. Journalists with U.S. and British troops are subject to severe limitations on what and how they can report their news. They may not report anything that is “sensitive” or that might give away “tactical or strategic information.” What does this mean? This means huge articles devoted to explaining all about how journalists are living in the desert, eating bad food (that makes them constipated, apparently) and sleeping on the ground. And you might think that this problem of limited-scope reporting would be cleared up by the presence of independent journalists, like Arnett and Rivera, except that the Coalition forces have found ways to silence them as well. Silencing journalists isn’t only as meager as getting them fired or tossing them out of Iraq, either. It has now been 10 days since British jour- nalist Terry Lloyd was killed by Coalition fire. Lloyd and his crew of 3 came under fire when the were “caught between” Coalition troops and a group of (apparently) surrendering Iraqi troops. 2 of Lloyds crew remain missing, but the third, his cameraman Daniel Demoustier, has said that the crew was attempting to interview the Iraqis when Coalition troops opened fire, killing Lloyd and perhaps the other crewmembers, and destroying their Jeep. U.S. Military Officials have been very clear: “Journalists in Iraq that are not embedded run a serious risk.” A serious risk, it seems, from Coalition Forces. Lloyd’s name has mostly fallen out of the news over the past week, but we should perhaps see his death as a lesson. No matter how forthcoming the Coalition Forces may seem, they've actively engaged in acts that discourage balanced and objective reporting... Just ask the reporters at Iraqi TV. Their network was briefly put out of commission by Coalition bombing. | wonder if they'll bomb my house because they don’t like what | have to say? Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief a | Editorial | Letters Hey, This is just a little note to let you guys know that you are doing a great job. But of course you already knew that! Underground is packed with exciting info. I’m in my second year completing a Specialist in Journalism (it's the new Program at UTSC). | wanted to be a part of Underground this year ..but my schedule is a bit hectic. | am looking forward to joining the Underground team in my last year at UTSC (2004- 2005). Anyways. keep up the good work. ~Shaneeva Yassin~ mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters Hi guys | know we've had our differences over the past year a time or two (mainly between myself and Chris) but if there’s one thing we agree on it's that Scarborough needs a strong student publication as an important part of our student identity. And each year that publication needs a strong and active editor. | was assuming someone would step up from this year’s crew to take the job but all | see are pleas from Chris for applicants. What's with that? You guys sure hate it when there isn’t healthy competition and a desire for the other important jobs on campus (SCSU prez, SAC VP Scarborough, etc.) so what gives? Frankly, I’m concerned. I’m concerned the same way | would be if no one was seriously interested in being SCSU president. If no one cares enough to grab the job, well, what kind of job can we expect from whoever is left holding the bag? | have very much appreciated Christian Lucier’s consistently mature, even-handed, and insightful coverage this year. He’s brave when he needs to be (nailing the SAC for their ill-conceived party, for example) but doesn’t look for scandals where none exist. Bravo. a Sachin has been a consistent force on the paper as well, and | enjoyed the talk we had at that organic dinner event. There were others there with good insights, but honestly | forget their names. :/ | do hope some of you are serious about carrying the banner into next year. Looking ahead to my role on the SCSU | want to work with you folks. I'm even willing to meet you more than halfway. But | want to work with people who see a job they want to do, not with people who end up with the job no one else wants to do. I’m sure by now you all appreciate the difference that makes. Anyway, good luck, | hope some of you step up, and if none of you want to be seriously involved next year | think that’s a shame, but let me know and I'll spread the word and maybe the will may appear elsewhere. Take care. Jeff Rybak Letters Wednesday, April 2, 2003 aninion If you don’t like the war, then don’t buy it. “A prize fighter, in the corner is told, Hit where it hurts; silver and gold.” .- U2 Against the War in Iraq? Then do something about it. Bitching and debating in the Meeting Place with your buddies? No, | meant do something useful about it. “Think globally, act locally” is City TV’s environmental slogan. Actions do speak louder than words. The cure for the sense of helplessness in our world is to manage things that we can control. So what can we do? Join a downtown protest? If it turns your crank, go to town, buddy! Practice your art skills by making posters? Fill your boots, Mountie! Cheering and chanting up and down University Avenue, outside the US Consulate? Excellent method of stress and frustration relief. Getting really physical and vandalizing the American Consulate, or fighting with a cop? Buying an Everlast, Heavy-Bag at Crappy Tire is cheaper than a night in jail and a day in court. So what will all this protesting do other than hone your artistic expression, and get you a little fresh air? Honestly, is the Bush administration going to be swayed by a bunch of noisy naitves outside it’s Consulate in T.0.? An American Vietnam Wat protestor said ten years of protest finally brought down the Johnson administration. Do you really see this thing lasting more than ten years? Increased media attention for the protestors’ cause? Is more protest media attention needed? Protesting gets you a moment of physiclogi- cal self-gratification, and 15 seconds of TV fame. But what substantial difference does it make? As the title suggests, buying power, personal economic sanctions is a powerful means of protest. Where you spend your money is more powerful than you think. So what buying-boycotts can be done? What's this war about? Oil. If we eliminate the demand for oil there would be no reason to go to war for it, right? So what can be made with crude oil? Gasoline, plastics, solvents, and pharmaceuticals. Are you ready to give all those up? If you really hate this war are you ready to stop buying gas for your car? Are your willing to stop buying plastic products like CD’s, MP3 players, poly- ester in a Hillfigure outfit, out of conscience? Are you willing to see your grandmother denied her heart medi- cation, because you don’t want to see anyone die for it’s raw material? If you are opposed to the war, but would gladly take the spoils of war, then you are a hypocrite. What else can you stop buying that will stop fueling this war? Propaganda. |’m not just talking about news reports. Movies like “Tears of the Sun’, “Black Hawk Down”, “Saving Private Ryan”, any flick that glorifies shoot-em-up-bang-bang-boom-boom violence. Combat video games like Doom, Area 51, and Strike Force. Any form of entertainment that feeds the bloodlust also feeds this war. Though they have no direct bearing on the war, such popular forms of entertainment demon- strates to the politicians that the public enjoys violence, it is socially acceptable, and it is a ‘fashionable’ means of conflict resolution. Likewise, if you are opposed to the war yet you bought any of the above, then you're a hypocrite. So no one is a saint, and we all have blood on our hands. Like it or not, our own demand and dependency for oil, our demand and glorification of violence bought us this war. If you are opposed to the war, then there really isn’t any justification in assigning blame, or taking the moral high-ground. It’s as bad as chanting “No blood hitp://www.utsc:utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ William Chow for oil!” in the afternoon, and driving home in a gas guz- zling S.U.V. in the evening. But the bombs have already been dropped, troops have been sent home in body- bags, and that can’t be changed. You can’t control that. My question is, “What are you going to do about it?” If you don’t like the war, then don’t buy it. You can control where your money is spent. If you don’t support the coalition, then don’t finance their efforts by buying prod- ucts that support their cause. If you are opposed to the War in Iraq, but really need to buy the things that sup- port the war, deal with it! Whether you think it’s right or wrong to sacrifice lives for oil is moot, and really doesn't change things. If: you own clothes that were made in a sweat-shop, by someone who’s weekly salary is equiva- lent to how much you spent on lunch today, exactly how much do you value human life? Reality has very ugly prices for us to pay. If you have a problem with the price then go home, crawl under your bed, and cry your eyes out because the world isn’t antiseptic and sugarcoated as Walt Disney made it out to be. = \ | SES Get The Dirt. Underground The Underground 4 News The News In Brief... It's four o'clock on a chilly and gray afternoon. I'm sitting in a diner, drinking seven ounce glasses of Molson Ex draught, a buck fifteen a piece, and smok- ing cigarettes underneath a “No Smoking” sign. I'm wondering if it would be more worth my while to join the American Imperialist Militia, to shoot me some Iraqi women and children, if only to get this god-damn war over with a bit quicker. But | don’t know if | have the balls to put my ass on that line. It's a strange feeling to sit here, throwing away half a plate of greasy, ketchup drenched fries as malnourished toddlers cling to their mainourished mothers in line for half a cup of rice; to sit here drinking myself into a slow, cold stupor as men, women, and children are lying semi-conscious in puddles of mud and gore, waiting for someone to trip over their bloody, dangling foot with just enough clumsiness to finally separate it from their leg. Will democracy make you free from the memory of watching your neighbor get lanced clean-through their chest by some missile, to explode behind him, sending bits of vaporized testicles splattering onto your face? The U.S. government's propaganda campaign looks about as convincing as a pre-schooler’s crayon WHO? UTERN is an umbrella organization comprised rendition of family values. Hundreds of thousands of of student groups, academic departments, programs pamphlets were dropped across Iraq, in an attempt to Sade : j avoid a sort of urban guerilla warfare scenario. So what and facilities located at the University of Toronto. incredibly psychological slogan did they use to achieve Our goal is to promote environmental practice this security? “Do not fight back against the Americans and sustainability on campus while encouraging and you will not be destroyed. Fight back against the ; Heer) as Americans and you will be destroyed.” This “destroy” partnerships among groups and individuals at all three word convinces me about as much as a Transformers CaMPpuSses. comic book. Do we understand propaganda and advertising too : : much? If you aren't voicing out your feelings and send- WHAT? The levy is a 50-cent REFUNDABLE non-academic ing the PM dirty pictures, then how can the government fee for all undergraduate students. know that you aren’t supporting their decisions, and that if they carry on in whatever fashion they have no chance in hell to get re-elected? WHY? Student groups at U of T who do not have There was a letter written into Now Magazine last funds of their own to carry out large-scale projects issue laughing in disdain at Toronto, its meek popula- can access the levy funds to initiate and complete : tion, and pitiful protests. The letter writer says that . 3 : % Montreal's last two rallies stirred up over 200,000 pro- environment-related projects. The levy will ensure : testers. Toronto’s biggest protest brought out 80,000, that funds are put towards projects that students | with the las low net even ae eae want. Finally, it allows students to make a significant Is showing up at the protest going to outright prevent : : : : : or stop the war? Or win it? The short answer is: No. But contribution to the University community and supporting the anti-war movement by attending these environment. rallies gives voice and body to the cause. Without a voice or body nothing gets done. And if enough people support the movement with the right will and the right Visit http://utern.sa.utoronto.ca 4 actions it will be bold and loud enough to.drown out ‘ ¥ the roar of Patriot and Tomahawk missiles. It will show Contact us at utern.admin@ utoronto.ca the monsters that you do indeed have a semblance of hf humanity left in you. But what do you do? What do you do when you Monday, April O7 (6:00am) to Wed nesday, spend an entire day in freezing rain full of emotion but lacking all enthusiasm because your urban tribe peace- : April 09 (until 1 1 ?30pm) on ROS] cries aren't pulling through? What do you do? Do you faalinporeanes www.rosi.utoronto.ca The News in Brief is compiled by The Underground's News Editor, Gordon Lane. 7 VOTE IN SUPPORT OF THE LEVY! Contact Gordon at brokennewseditor@hotmail.com IT’S SMALL CHANGE FOR ABIG CHANGE! 6 _. http:/Avww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ De be Oa t,o eT Ae, det wer & fe af a fe e News Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Deadly plague puts UTSC at risk Like myself, | assume that the majority of you readers have been follow- ing the development of the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) virus in the news. It is shocking, to say the least, that a virus with the potential to kill has been allowed to spread in Canada, logging 3 deaths so far. With all the modern technology and advance- ments in medical research, one would have thought that there would be some kind of vaccine ready for distribution. Presently, however, there is no direct cure. My question now is, taking into consid- eration that there is no proven cure, what exactly do we do? Various forms of news and media are hyping the virus, causing widespread concern and fear. The Globe and Mail, for example, states that thousands of people in Ontario are currently under home quarantine. Ontario health officials are pres- ently screening airline flights and many public services are being closed down. My mother, who is a nurse at the Sunnybrook hospital, was given last Friday off due to the closing of all outpatient clinics because of the SARS virus. In fact, there has been an international health warning for overseas tourists not to visit Toronto. But what does this all mean? How concerned should the public be? Toronto already has 28 probable cases, 10 suspected cases, and 30 people showing the symptoms of the SARS virus. If no cure is found for this virus in the weeks to come, UTSC is going to have some serious complications. UTSC is well known as a commuter campus. Students from the north, east, south, and west commute to UTSC to attend class. It is safe to say that our student body covers a large portion of the GTA. Does this increase the chances for transmission of the SARS virus at UTSC? Well, let’s just say that it doesn’t help matters. Something else to be taken into consideration is that some classrooms at UTSC are incredibly packed with people, and many have poor ventilation. Classrooms like this can be a health risk, but these are all minor details. My main concern is that if a vac- cine is not found around exam time, some students might not feel comfortor- able sitting in a stuffy gym filled with hundreds of students writing exams. Don't get me wrong, | am not trying to start panic at UTSC, | simply want to address a few issues that should be brought up. If airline flights are being screed for the SARS virus, why aren't other public places being screened as well? Where does one draw the line between panic and preparation? If | go to the grocery store, am | safe? If | head to a club on the weekend, am | safe? If | decide to go see a movie, is that a good idea? UTSC needs to be made aware of the severity of the issue at hand. | tried to contact the Health and Wellness Centre on campus to see what they were recommending, unfortunately the staff was unavailable for comment at the time. Sure, the media informs us of a few prevention tactics, such as wearing a surgical mask or avoiding public places, but is this good enough? Not when one’s health is on the line. We, as students of UTSC, need to be informed whether it is safe to step in the building, and whether our safety can be guar- anteed for the duration of our visit. _word of the week! - A holy war waged on behalf of Islam as a religious duty; a bitter strife or cru- sade undertaken in the spirit of a holy war. Christian Lucier Life Editor sony a... ” ~ : oa WIN A GRAND PRIZE OF $3000 or one of the following: 10 prizes of $500 20 Oster® In2itive™ Blender / Food Processors 80 Sunbeam Coffeemakers Please visit: www.campusplus.com/survey for your chance to win. Sponsored by your Campus Newspaper, Sunbeam, and by Campus Plus, a division of Canadian University Press. Sunbeam @ster © campus Pius All personal information provided is strictly private and confidential, and will be used for research only. http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ The Underground Performance art in the Meeting Place is random, but cool Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor Because the performances in the Meeting Place last Tuesday were so abstract, | can’t possibly describe to you what they mean or anything like that. So here are the pictures | took and you can figure it out for yourself. It’s either my laziness as a writer, or my wanting to engage you more as a reader, but you have to admit, this article sure was easy to (not) write. ’ 2 vs Cree ee Bia Roe cack ae ee gph pier et 5 http:/Avww.utse.ut onto:ca/~undergnd/ Arts Wednesday, April 2, 2003 | Artbar brings the arts together Keith Friedlander Arts Editor Last Thursday night FASA, with cooperation of the Drama Society, held their Artbar in The Attic and the night was a refreshing success. A free evening's entertainment where students presented their talents in various mediums of art, there was lots to see and hear. With the front section of The Attic being used as a gallery for an exhibit of local artists and the rear creatively decorated and furnished as a coffee house, the Artbar made good use of the space available. There were a number of interesting pieces on display, including an interactive floor display with a number of photos with adjacent marker boards on which the spectators could record their reactions. The low lighting of the tea lights gave the back area an intimate atmosphere and on stage was some excellent music, poetry and even a very impressive opera performance. Wonderboy/man’s song to his plastic dashboard Jesus seemed a favourite. | spoke to Laura Mendes, the organizer for the Artbar, about the process of preparing the evening. Very pleased by the strong turn out, she told me it was her intention to bring together the various art forms in UTSC under a single bill, saying there is too much fracturing of creative groups on campus as it is. With the help of the Drama Society and some serious guerilla leafleting there was apparently no shortage of performers willing to go on stage for the evening. While they originally intended to make the evening a pub event, it was decided that it would be more economical to just sell snacks and get people’s drinking in afterwards. To that end, an after party at The Bohemian downtown followed the evening where there was no cover and free shooters. Whilst this reporter failed to attend the after party, it is surmised that people got drunk there. Overall the Artbar was an enjoyable evening of local talent and a big suc- cess for the organizers. It would be nice to see more events like this on campus in the future when possible. Things Fall Apart Nadine James The Graduate Centre for Study of Drama and Cultural Pluralism and the Arts, UTSC presented this play at the Robert Gill Theatre from March 26 — 30, this past week. Biyi Bandele adapted the novel, written by Chinua Achebe, into a wonderful play, which had its audience enraptured the entire time. Upon entering the intimate theatre you heard African drummers, which car- ried over to become part of the production and the heart beat of the play. The dance sequences were mesmeriz- ing, while each characters emotion came off strong and genuine. The only negative aspect that | detected about the play was the trouble that one would have had if they had not read the book beforehand. Due to the various characters that one actor played, it became confusing at times to know who was playing whom. |, having read the book, must admit | found myself lost at times. On the whole, however, the story was well put together and http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ all of the important issues the novel sought to address were picked up by the director and transformed into a visual melody of beauty and truth. “The overall importance of Things Fall Apart for the world at large is that it reverberates tragic history cred- ibly. Given the recent invasion of Iraq this theme seems all the more timely. Whether Hiroshima, the Falklands, Bosnia or of more immediate relevance—the devasta- tion of Aboriginal people here in North America—the knowledge of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man is a useful prescription for healing, the search for a new world order and a true global village.” These words, taken from the director Chuck Mike’s note on the pro- gram, seem to sum up the feeling you have at the end of the play. A feeling that you have experienced “a story well told, a story that is entertaining and historically edu- cational.” Peace. Feature The Underground ~~ a) cs 2 9) ne) < =| z & © 2 fe) 2 © fe) — e) 2 = fe) a 2 = i = http Feature Wednesday, April 2, 2003 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 11 The Underground Feature Sasha i iliac aia ae a LS demoralizing 12 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ YOU TQQ,. CAN joining ne NB There are positions open in nearly every facet of the newspaper experience for next year. You can even be Editor In- Chief, and be the proud owner of your own personal fiefdom! So here’s a rundown of the positions that you may want to fill. Sometimes, they pay. you... % Editor-In-Chief e Copy Editor os. _and Staff Writers of: avery ty submit a writing enna rent or some other expression of your competence as a writer/editor/manager. The Underground Life : a greene sel warming and “Save the ¢ ing Spe cies” campaigns are repeated over and over in the media. It seems there’s little we can do to make change on such a large scale - even reducing carbon diox- ide emissions by 5% looks like an incred- ible feat that can only be accomplished by the termination of “billions” of jobs, at least according to Ralph Klein. Fortunately, an environmentally conscious group by the name of the University of Toronto Environmental Resource Network (UTERN) was cre- ated to address how students can collec- tively make a difference. The proposed answer is an Environmental Levy, a 50 cent non-academic, fully refundable increase in Student and Societies Fees. The pooled funds will be redirected to campus greening initiatives on all three U of T campuses. Revamped recycling and composting programs, rooftop and community gardens, green energy and ecological restoration are just a few of the projects that previously could not be initiated due to lack of funding. Although students seemed recep- tive to the Levy when it was introduced during Environment Week, the campaign has since faced some major setbacks. Because SAC had failed to inform students of the Levy 14 4 ~ the referendum, a longe at a later date was propos soon as the new flyers w walls, SAC announcec encountered adminis’ in publishing notice of the in campus papers. — period begins at www.rosi.utoronto. UTERN, since it has evolved to bec organization compris ferent environmental on the three campuses is to promote effecti ve pressure on the University administration to initiate green projects, it clearly isn’t enough. So spare some change and help bring U of T to where it belongs: at the forefront of campus sustainability and environmental con- sciousness, U Of T Student Only — Study Space At UTSC — Cpl. Chris Charalambous In response to the requests of UTSC students, all UTSC study spaces are now reserved for U of T students only. Lack of study space has been the result of the growth in student density and increased use by non- U of T students. All students studying at UTSC must display a valid U of T student card when studying on campus. There are signs indicating this posted through- out the campus at main entrance doors. Walksafers have been asked by U of T Police to advise studying students that they are to display their student cards on the table near them. If they do not have a U of T student card or are not U of T students, Walksafers are to ask them to please leave and explain to them that study space is reserved for U of T students. Please do your part and remember to display your T-Card. This will help maximize your study space. ath oD | 14 ite: :/www.utsc. toronto: ‘cal~undergnd/ A few months ago | came up with an idea. Usually people find my ideas” wonderfully entertaining but never feel like going through with them. But not this time. While happily inebriated at a friend’s apartment | proposed my idea to the room. Surprisingly the room was all for it-and so we proceeded with what simply became known as The Slut Contest. Call it a social experiment, call it sick, call it what you will; | shall standby this idea of mine.until death. Let me put it in context. After a huge sex/BDSM-themed party at my house, let’s just say that the people | knew became a lot more sexu- ally open. People | knew had become so relaxed with their sexual attitudes that ~ when | brought up the contest everyone just went for it. | basically just wanted to see how comfortable everyone was with their desire for all kinds of sexual acts. Did | do it to see how much | could manipulate people? Quite possibly, but that’s far beyond the point. To be honest | wasn’t prepared for the level of seriousness that some people took with the contest. Does it prove anything? I’m not all that sure, but it was a moment in time where humanity revealed itself as being a bit more honest about itself, and that makes me happy. Here’s a bit of the rule rundown: Object: To accumulate the most slut points between the start of the school year and the date of the final sex-themed . Satan’s Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) party on April 29th. Points: Points are awarded accordingly in a series of categories outlined as such: General sex acts: This includes all the possible sex acts including making out, oral sex, intercourse, anal sex, and so on. Only one point per partner, and short french kisses only count for half a point. Repeat acts with the same person do not count for extra points (the same applies for all categories save bestiality). BDSM: Includes all abuse sessions (spanking toys etc.). Maximum two points per partner (one for giving and one for receiving). Group Sex: One point per partner involved. You will have to have per- formed one of the general sex acts with said partner in order to receive a point. If a person is involved but made no contact with you then you can’t count them. You may receive points for repeat partners but only if they are part of a different configuration. Voyeurism/REAL exhibitionism: In the case of voyeurism, it must be consensual (e.g. someone is allowing you to watch him or her), and in the case of exhibition- ism, it must involve someone who has chosen to watch you (as in you can’t just expose yourself to a group of people who had no choice in the matter and collect points from it). Bread, Not Bombs Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor I’ve railed on and on about the impotence and useless- ness of peace marches, and I’ve often wondered what the Well, Toronto production company Subtransit (www.subtransit.tk) may have the answer. ‘Bread Not Bombs will be held on April 19 in the Trinity Bellwoods at around 2 pm. The event will feature some of Toronto’s top DJ talents, with the support of ten soundstages All donations collected at the event will go towards a UN-affiliated Iraqi relief organization. | encourage anyone who is interested in providing some aid to the victims of this war to participate in Bread Not Bombs. For once in your life, do something useful with your anti-war sentiments, rather than hoisting colourful placards alternative might be. and production companies. and screaming. If you’re interested in participating, helping out with fund- raising, promotion, or any other aspect of the event, please contact Greg Hunsburg at batman@techno.zzn.com for more information, or visit Subtransit’s website for details. ove Me Two Times Or look what prek age when ead listen tome Bestiality: Resulting in a final score of —1 in the standings and immediate dis- qualification from the contest. Video/Photos: A bonus point category. If you gain a point in any of the categories (save bestiality) and capture it on video or photo then you earn an extra point. Loss/Taking of Virginity: Losing your virginity will gain you a big ten points. Taking someone else’s will get you five. General Slutty Acts: An act that defies categorization and is determined by the contest administrator (me) to be worth a point. Here’s how the standings worked out (to protect the contestants from hordes of crazed people lusting for their superior skills, all last names have been with- held): 1. Chris - 30 2. Andrew — 29% 3. Sarah — 24% Jasmine — 24% 5. Tom — 17 Gordon - 17 7. Paul — 14 8. Corey — 8 9. Joe-—4 10. Mike — 1 11. Martine — -1 (disqualified) Final Awards: Chris Most Points Total — Better not get SARS , Wear a mask everywhere ! Just like a ninja Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Most Sarah/ Jasmine Most Points Male — Chris Most Improved — Mike E for Effort Award — Paul Most Valuable Performer (given to the person who exhibited the most use and versatility as a slut) — Sarah Points Female — General Category Awards (given to those who earn the most points in each category): General Sex Acts — Andrew BDSM — Andrew Group Sex — Jasmine Voyeurism/Exhibitionism — Andrew Bestiality/Bark at the Moon — Martine Video/Photos — Andrew Loss/Taking of Virginity — Corey General Slutty Acts — Paul/Jasmine Again I’m not sure what this all means, but it should be documented. It was a human experiment that would have been snatch up by the Fox network before you could say Joe Millionaire. But instead it is here, so therefore it shall end not with a bang (or a moan) but with a whimper. P.S. Remember you only have three days in which to submit your thoughts for the final Satan’s Bakesale of the year. Act quickly and email metalresidue@h otmail.com. Send me your thoughts on what makes you angry, sad, laugh, or just what moves you the most. Talk to you all soon. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Os ee cs Gr oT a Sea WY Os Pin (oO Ro as 15 HOW TO SELL whenever possible: justice, freedom, democracy, liberate, (fighting) Evil, protect, security, defend, support (our troops), brotherhood. Speak in soft, soothing tones (and no one will notice your lies). be sexy (eurotrash); be stern (cowboy) simplify, simplify, simplify (say it with statistics) wicked-cool graphics (it’s just like video games) ‘bad guy’ propaganda (pinko nazi commie — qaida bastard) jargon. ‘nuff said. product placement: ‘taste the rainbow’ Life IRAQ THE CASBAH Mostly random thoughts about the war WeorRtb LWAR III WILL BE A GUERRILLA INFORMA- TION WAR, WITH NO DIVISION BETWEEN MILITARY AND CIVILIAN PARTICIPATION. - MARSHALL McLUHAN While I’ve never been accused of being the most. organized writer on staff, I’m having more trouble than usual writing about the War on Iraq. It’s not because I’m overly emotional or anything, but more because | just can't keep up. With CNN barking ‘new developments’ in my face every five minutes, anything | write here will be old news by the time I’m finished this piece, and out- right lies by the time you read it. What's an editor to do? Why, write about the media, of course! | found the above quote while reading the other day, and | thought to myself that if | put it at the beginning of an article, maybe I'll seem just a bit clever. But it’s pretty appropriate, and even if you're put off a bit by his deified status in the world of media study and cultural criticism, you have to admit that McLuhan knew what he was talking about. The important battles in modern warfare truly are fought over television and the Internet. Sure, you're still going to need people to do the dirty work, binding the hands of civilians under the auspices of ‘liberating’ them or training dolphins to look for mines * (so cute!), but when you really think about it, this war is more about the representation of the battles than the battles themselves. At first, the US thought that they could monopolise the coverage of the war, just as they did during Desert Storm, and they did everything they could to ensure that they would. The holy trinity (CNN, CNBC, and FOX News) could go in and present the war through the filters of the US military, showing only what Bush, Rumsfeld, or any of their underlings wanted us to see. And for a while, that’s what we got — sanitized night-vision foot- age and colourful animated maps that all contributed to our dissociation from the human element of the war. It didn’t and couldn’t possibly seem real to us, as the coverage had both the look and feel of a. substandard video game. But when Al-Jazeera started showing us pictures of PoW’s and Iraqi civilians cruelly blown apart, everything seemed to change. The floodgates opened and the Coalition began to worry that their stranglehold over battlefield images was slipping away. b http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Something had to be done, and something was. Coalition forces, now paranoid from things like fake surrenders and Republican (no, not that kind) Army forces dressed as civilians, began to fire on anything and everything that looked shifty. Apparently, one of those shifty elements was the presence of unilateral journalists, reporters who aren’t affiliated with any par- ticular network or government, and the closest thing to impartial coverage you could've gotten thus far. And when the Coalition began to kill these journalists “acci- dentally’, that impartial coverage was gone, with the reporters fleeing Iraq from fear, dissipating like a spilled canister of mustard gas. As if that wasn’t enough, the Coalition bombed Iraqi TV last week, assuring the public that it was a propaganda tool for Hussein, thus qualify- ing it as a “military target’. So you have to wonder, if the US is willing to bomb a TV station filled with civilians that are just doing their jobs, who’s in charge of “minimizing the civilian casualties”? But the US really is doing anything and everything to make sure that they’re the ones making the rules when it comes to coverage of the war, and priority one is to discredit Al-Jazeera. What’s that, Mr. Rumsfeld? Pictures of your PoW’s and dead soldiers are “disturb- ing”? They’re “traumatizing” to viewers? And maybe it’s just because I’ve railed over and over again about censorship, but in my humble opinion, the networks should be showing everything. Show us the casualties, both American and Iraqi. Show us the buildings that you’re bombing, your so-called “military targets”. And | don’t want to see it in that grainy green night-vision format, either. If you’re going to cover it at all, | expect to see living colour. Before you write that angry letter, though, just let me clarify. It’s not bloodlust that’s producing these sentiments, it’s simply a matter of me wanting to have an informed opinion about these things. If | can get an accurate picture of what’s going on in the Middle East, then that’s what | want. | mean, even if you're pro-war, could you have the same level of support after seeing the image of a child that has lost Wednesday, April 2, 2003 Sachin Hingoo Associate Editor her mother to a rocket? Speaking of support (note: bad segue), last week, US Ambassador Paul Cellucci expressed his “disap- pointment” that Canada has refused to support the Americans’ struggle against Evil Nazi Commie AIl- Qaida Tyrant Dictator and All-Around Mofo, Saddam Hussein. This is the first occasion in which a US official has actively spoken out in criticism of Canada since the Trudeau era. Remember? That's why we loved Trudeau. Anyhow, Cellucci stated that, “There is no security threat to Canada that the United States would not be ready, willing, and able to help with.” Wow, that’s powerful, isn’t it? | bet they would be willing to help against all of our enemies, especially since we have none. Cellucci’s statement is just about as empty as a statement can get without saying, “My name is Empty McEmpty, Lord Mayor of Emptytown.” Not once has the US had to bail us out of a war or help us deal with any “security threat”, because we don’t start any wars, and we’re not paranoid like some presidents we know. Seriously, can you name just one country whose gov- ernment hates Canada? Not unlike Sandra Bullock or opium, we’re loved by the entire world. You could plaster your backpack with Canadian flags, fill it with dynamite, and still get a hug in Palestine (warning: do not try). Up until the day that Chretien decided to grow a spine and express his own disappointment in the US’s mobilization against Iraq, Canada was perceived by the world to be America’s apathetic neighbor to the north. We would blindly follow the Americans into battle, no matter how inane or inconsequential to our own safety. The US would be all, “Hey little buddy, wanna go to Panama?” And we'd be all, “Yes sir, very good sir, may we have another?” And so forth. So it just goes to show you kids, you can have an opinion of your own, and people will eventually listen. All it takes is about 500 years. 17 Events | Comics Th r L/ “If you know of an event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) | let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information printed in this listing. Due to the often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, or be outright false. Make use of any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, have fun! Ongoing: 1PM Public Space monthly meeting. Monthly meetings are open to the public and give you an opportunity to meet others in the group and plug into the planning and implementation processes. We meet on the last Sunday of every month. Next meeting March 30. For location and info contact info@publicspace.ca Ongoing: Thursdays 9-11:45pm - Free U of T Philosophical Discussion. 416.938.3366. Open to all and FREE. 7 Hart House Circle. Ongoing: Forth Monday of each month. [- 9PM. Freedom for Animals animal rights meet- ings. free_animals@hotmail.com. 416.596.233. 519 Church St. Community Centre at Wellesley. Ongoing: Last Friday of every month. 6PM Critical Mass meets for an easy one-hour cycle. Corner of Yonge and Temperance, two blocks south of Queen. Ongoing: Thursdays Toronto Mobilization for Global Justice: 6:30PM-Education Committee Meetings: Metro Hall. 7PM-General Meetings: OISE, 252 Bloor St. W. #2295. Contact 416.280.6415 April 1,6PM Bernard Lewis, Cleveland E. Dodge Professor Near Eastern Studies, Emeritus at Princeton University. Title: “What has Changed? The Impact of ‘9/11’ on the Middle East”. Edward Johnson Building 80 Queen’s Park Crescent Room: MacMillan HLINTON HERMIT ; an | Ma Andrew C. Epstein’s comic is appearing this week in the cam Fool’s comic exchange. We apologise for the fact that Mr. Goff’s comic is worse than Ziggy. Sorry. Theatre Vicky Dingillo416-978-3365 April 2 8PM The 11 O’Clock Jazz Orchestra. Phil Nimmons director. Sponsored by Long and McQuade Musical Instruments. — http://www.utoronto.ca/music. Edward Johnson Building, 80 Queen’s Park. Room: Walter Hall. Price: $12 adults, $6 seniors/students. Purchase: Faculty of Music Box Office: 416.978.3744 April 5 10AM-SPM OCAP RUMMAGE SALE at The Tranzac Club (south of Bloor St. on Brunswick Ave.) April 5 Babylon Crash, presented by Smerk PunXXX. Breakcore, Ragga, Jungle, Noise, Dub. 19+, $8. Oasis, 294 College St. W. April 10 7PM Poetic License. An evening of women’s poetry. Presented by the Toronto Women’s Bookstore. Readings by:Nicole Brossard, Tatiana De La Tierra, Rishma Dunlop, Ruth Mandel. sPaHa Restaurant, 66 Harbord Street (North East corner of Spadina and Harbord). Free. April 11 10PM-3AM Smerk presents Splinter has Weapons of Mass Destruction. Classic Smerk sound. Hardcore Jungle and Breaks. DJ’s Enduser, Dev79, Line 47, Rusuden, c64 and Vox. $5. Audiowerks, 423 Queen W. April 12 1PM-11PM Artists Against War Peace Festival. Anti-war celebration showcasing a variety of musicians, visual artists and performers. Featuring Lowest of the Low, The Rheostatics, Evalyn Parry, King Cob Steely, Wakefield Brewster, DJ Denise Benson, and many more. Volunteers needed for set-up and strike, security, fundraising, and trained first aid. Contact Sara or Mansy: wvolunteers@hotmail.com April 13 2:30PM “Musically Speaking,” a one- hour enlightening program of historical performance at the Church of the Holy Trinity, 10 Trinity Square (near the Eaton Centre, on the west side) FREE. info: 416.966.1409, temc@interlog.com Basoonist Nadina Mackie Jackson will perform solo works by Telemann, Scarlatti and Bach. April 24-May 3 8PM DQ 2003. She’s back and bigger than ever! DQ’03 is a spectacular and cheeky Broadway-Las Vegas style revue, with a cast of 45 talented male performers from every walk of life, who magically transform into glamorous drag queens. Hart House Theatre, 7 Hart House Circle. Saturday mati- nees at 4:00 p.m. No performance on April 27. Tickets $25 to $50. Tickets opening night gala, April 24th: $100; tickets closing night gala, May 3rd: $75. Purchased by telephone: Hart House Box Office: 416.978.8668. www.dq03.org pus paper at Mount Allison University in New Brunswick as part of an April 18 http://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ iu z p a RE | AD A mere) UN~/29°0}U0IOIN'9S}N MMM]: du 19310q ysowle Sj! ““auljuUO puNosBsapuA eUyL ! euy, Saa5j4auel) Sj PUR Poplar] EPEde> JO spUEINE}say 5 PIEUOGIW JO.a5N aAIsNjIxg.ay) 10g “paywiy epPury jo jUEMMEIsaY 5 pleUOgay foo0r @ asaay> YUM 4abingasaay o@YS14-O-13] 14 : ssabsngasaay) z @ ayy IW o041X Big ajqnog : ‘yaam ay} fo 6 9 App Auana ar w.5[D9QIW AVGNOW a XVL SNId AVONNS Avaanivs AvGiud AVaSanHL AVGSINGIM UMOYS aay} Woy Gea Kew sjuesneysoy Buged oy uEd Je siayO ‘ONEIUO Ul sidesNersay 5 pjevodaw AuyednpeEd yy ayo iyo Aue Gyn pryen ony Suuvas paywuty —«-adz4yp ssauisng auspayy fo Aynavy PO'OIUOIOINGS]]aM Epul] [eUI-2 10 H7F0-8/6-91F¥ ae “mp pady Aq (Ayuo s2our3d200R). JASY abajo) Grssaaruyy saquaiys asiquaxg fo yuaussvdaq rwfog vsstayg (Zojosvuavggy fo tuausavdag oy astosuvay uoysipy fo tuaussvdaq qorudvy) uopy sashydorg yvoipayy fo waussvdag LOS Ad da 1 A ASopogosy Burjasunoy puv uonvmnpy ynpy fo wuaussvdag vsnog a31of S.LSTTVNIA CUVAV ALVNAGVYD CaHSINONILSIG vudds ‘S TadV 9€69-8L6-91F 2 STA ePUlT [feo aseayd ‘uoneuoyur 107 dugstmayy payddy puv Butsaauisugq jvstuag) fo quaugsvdaq UVSIND IP uosiy UVIOHOS QYVAV ALVAGVYD CGAHSINONILSIG vadds °S TddvV auinpayy fo Gynany duading fo quawupavdaq UVAZOAT 1511U91IG Uoadin> Venvssissyy 4v oquosoy fo Mgassaatuyy sashydousy pun Kuouossy fo quaugsvdaq Kosag uqof sossaforsg CUVAAV FANT dOWHLUON auiipay Grunumuoy pun (jumpy fo quauqavdag UDULpIPIag “YY UOTE 4d aZlud SLHDIY NVNNH TVIYMOWAWN Saf ATTALSA INV NIMGNT aBayor Mgausay SLIUUULOT VIULT IBIJO) VIAOIIA Agqunyg uravyy adaqoD Manus] sqsaqgoy uvgsayy asayjo) Mrsuaatuy) Buaqpjoy 1vq21V aBIN]0) VIAOIIA Avpussy) autsagivy SUVIOHDOS VV.LN. uosmog] “Dd atssaf UVIOHOS SSOW ‘H NHOf[ oquosoy fo Missaatuy) zsoddng Sursisp\ 430A JaLvsADA A aouatag pup stay fo Gjnavy UlaYLULpy JAD) Uva CYUVAV AON dX LNAGN.LS JO ALITVAO Xa10d4 “A NvOl quauginasay quapnas fo af{O 403siqy “[ 422qUzqT CUYVAV S.WOTTAONVHO Bursinyy fo Majnan.q uosiypyy -11my\ Apnf sossaforT QYUVAV ALTOOVA S.LNAIdIOda GUVAV £007 ‘urd 9¢:9 ‘Wooy UOUTUTOD Iseq ‘UONndaooy -urd YE:¢ [EH 39D oY], ‘VONLUasaIg premy aSNOH LIVH €007 ‘8Z TWady AVGNO|W uo Auoulasao V 1D sOSeY } a{v- x Mp vvin SGQUVAY AAU dOWHLYON dH INV AONATTAOXY AO SCUVAY 4H fo stuardisas svat styq fo spusmanaigoD a1 240492199 01 nok agzaut oguosoy fo Marssaatuy) agi fo qsoa01g ay) pur uoLswII0SSy IMUM oJuosoy fo AazssaaiUy) aq] eG AONSSILZZ,OWIN|O/\ We ls a \ ‘ 2 } SSH 36 NONLIN a Tepey 1507 zz as a | administration celebrated the new UTSC Student __ Centre’s groundbreakin last Wednesday, April 2nd. Despite the spitting ‘rain, anumber of people actually went outside into the cold and drearyto watch these folks “break fof cel UT ae byte SCSU then hosted a big-ass party in the WU CeY=a dt ae fla F-Kex=eecoxe) nay oy (=a) with cake, a wicked-fun performance by the SAA and musical guests. _ Expect the Student Centre’s reLe-lare bce) eXe1aliare fut) September 2004. f yd da «\* Ko, U TAA The University of Toronto Alumni Association and the Provost of the University of Toronto invite you to celebrate the achievements of this year’s recipients of THE AWARDS OF EXCELLENCE AND THE NORTHROP FRYE AWARDS at a ceremony on MOonpbay, APRIL 28, 2003 HART HOUSE Award Presentation: The Great Hall, 5:30 p.m. Reception: East Common Room, 6:30 p-m 2003 AWARD RECIPIENTS ADEL S. SEDRA FACULTY AWARD Professor Judy Watt-Watson Faculty of Nursing CHANCELLOR'S AWARD Elizabeth J. Isbister Office of Student Recruitment JOAN E. FOLEY QUALITY OF STUDENT EXPERIENCE AWARD Dean Carl Amrhein Faculty of Arts and Science Dr. Margaret Procter Writing Support University of Toronto JOHN H. MOSS SCHOLAR Jessie C. Thomson University College UTAA SCHOLARS Katherine Cassaday Victoria College Michael Goldberg University College Meghan Roberts Trinity College Gavin Stanley Victoria College Zinta Zommers Trinity College LUDWIK AND ESTELLE JUS MEMORIAL HUMAN RIGHTS PRIZE Dr. William E. Seidelman Department of Family and Community Medicine Faculty of Medicine Not valid with any other offer. At participating McDonald's Restaurants in Ontario. Offers at participating Restaurants may vary fram tho: McDeals™ every day of the week. PLUS TAX 69 WEDNESDAY NORTHROP FRYE AWARD Professor John Percy Department of Astronomy and Astrophysics University of Toronto at Mississauga Surgeon Scientist Program Department of Surgery Faculty of Medicine ADEL S. SEDRA DISTINGUISHED GRADUATE AWARD SCHOLAR Alison McGuigan Department of Chemical Engineering and Applied Chemistry For information, please call Linda Wells at 416-978-6536 RSVP (acceptances only) by April 14th, 416-978-0424 or e-mail linda-wells@utoronto.ca Business attire Limited seating THURSDAY McChicken® FRIDAY Filet-O-Fish® DISTINGUISHED GRADUATE AWARD FINALISTS Jorge Sousa Department of Adult Education and Counselling Psychology Mahadeo Sukhai Department of Medical Biophysics Adam Chapnick Department of History Francoise Ko Department of Pharmacology Parissa Safai Department of Exercise Sciences SATURDAY SUNDAY Double Quarter Pounder® with Cheese Cheeseburger © 2003 McDonald's Restaurant of Canada Limited. For the exclusive use of MeDonald’s Restaurants of Canada Limited and its franchisee do Wednesday, April 9, 2003 “Digifest was Something’ Two weeks ago, two members of the Underground editorial staff scored press passes to Digifest, an exhibition of digital media that was put on by the Design Exchange and several sponsors, including my arch-nemesis, Shift Magazine. All | can say is that I’m glad we didn’t pay. | mean, it was dece, but nothing worth $30 (the pricetag for a mere one day of this three- day conference). Here’s what happened. p./ Also in this Issue: Editorial D.4 Letters p.4-5 Events Listings P.12 News (or Views) News-in-Brief p.6 Reviews Assassination Tango p.8 Shadows Fall p.8 The Underground Staff Writers: Meghan Hurley, Kelly Lisle, Merika Ramundo, Andrew C. Epstein, Lisa Endersby, Ayshia Degia, Sarah Barmak, Rob Chung, Marjan Tehrani. Contributors: Holly Cousineau Mail: The Underground, U of T Scarborough 4265 Military Trail, Room S-364 Scarborough, ON M1C 1A4 Phone: 416.287.7054 Email: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca Web: http:/Awww.scar.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ http://www.utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Life, It’s Not Just That Photography Magazine You Never Read p.9 Not A Mr. Clean Convention p.? Summary of Incidents p.10 Editor-in-Chief Associate Editors Production Manager As’t Production Art Director News Editors Arts Editor Life Editor Graphics Editor On-Line Editor Advertising Manager Accounting Manager Accounting Assistants Chris McKinnon Sachin Hingoo Greg Brown James Relunia Missing In Action Gordon Lane Keith Friedlander Christian Lucier Greg Brown Mario Kangeswaren Vacant Michelle Ng Juliana Lam Millie Ng Columns Weekly Haiku p.5 Word of the Week p.7 Bonus-Ku p.10 Satan's Bakesale p.11 cover design: Greg Brown Submission (BDSM) Policy At The Underground we love unsolicited material, especially letters and opinion pieces. Should such material be typed or printed and delivered to The Underground's snazzy portable by or before noon on the Friday prior to the desired publication date, we will more than likely print it. We kindly ask that submissions be of 800 words or less and that they include the writer’s name and student number. Submissions become the property of The Underground and may or may not be published at the whim of The Editorial Board. The Board reserves the right to poke fun at submissions, post them on the wall in The Underground's snazzy portable (for the enjoyment of our staff and guests) or alter them in print in any way provided it is so acknowledged. By submission, authors implicitly bow down to the total editorial control of The Editorial Board and freely consent to the addition witty comments and criticisms (especially in the case of libelous or malicious submissions) courtesy of the snarky editors. For a more official-sounding Letters and Opinions Policy contact undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca The Underground is published by the Scarborough Campus Student Press, a non- profit corporation. It is funded by way of a direct levy to students of the University of Toronto Scarborough Campus, and through local and national advertising. The Underground is a member of Canadian University Press (CUP). Ps oP Ses aE The Underground Editorial | Letters So Much For Democracy Democracy can leave a sour taste in your mouth, especially when your voice is stifled. Anyone who has been out to protest the current war in Iraq has had a healthy dose of what | am talking about. In a representative democracy like Canada, it sometimes seems that we only get to exercise our “democratic” rights with a ballot during elections. But that isn’t true. Our elected officials have a duty to represent us, whether they agree with us or not. A case in point might be the current SCSU. The SCSU has drawn criticism from all over the place for being “out of touch” with students at this campus, for running events that no one attends, and for gener- ally misrepresenting us. They've also received kudos for doing a lot of Stuff right, and their progress with the Student Centre is just one such example. Regardless of what the gossip-circles are chattering about the SCSU is an elected body, and they can, for the most part, claim to be the voice of UTSC students. For some people, that is a scary thought. For others, it is only a matter of minor concern when compared to mid-terms or finals or term-papers. The point | am getting at is that if you want to be represented, you have to do more than just cast your ballot. You have to keep on your elected representatives, with emails and telephone calls and reminder after reminder. Democracy is only as good as we make it, and sometimes that means it really isn’t that good at all. Another example would be your local Member of Parliament. Where is it easier to cast a vote every four years (and then assume that you are being looked after) than in federal politics? Recently a friend wrote to the MP for Scarborough-East (our riding here at UTSC) to ask for his support on Private Member’s Bill C-250, which seeks to add “sexual orientation” to the list of punishable grounds for hate propaganda in the Criminal Code. For some of us, it might come as a surprise that “sexual orientation” is not already on that list. For many, it is not even a question that if it is not there, it should be. So when my friend received a reply (find it to the right of this editorial) from John McKay, MP for Scarborough-East that said, in no vague terms, that he refused to support Bill C-250, | have to admit that | was more than a little surprised. We've reprinted his response, in our letters column for everyone to see... And naturally, in pure Undergrouna-style, we’ve attached our trade-mark snarky comments. While | am in the process of talking about writing letters, I’d like to mention that | wrote my first letter, ever, to the Prime Minister Jean Chretien, a few weeks ago. It was kind of a nice feeling, letting Jean know exactly what | think about this Iraq situation. A week later, | wrote a letter to the Globe and Mail, to tell them what a moron their columnist Margaret Wente is (she wrote an article a week ago about how we should maybe consider not having women go to war, in light of the perils that have befallen Shoshana Johnson and Jessica Lynch, of recent POW fame). Tonight, I'm going to write a letter to John McKay, to tell him why exactly it is that the Bible is not hate propaganda, and why he has no good reason not to support Bill C-250. If | can’t have my say with a ballot, I'll make sure everyone knows exactly how | feel, with a deluge of emails, letters, faxes and telephone calls. | suggest you do the same. Chris McKinnon Editor in Chief 4 http://www:utsc. utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ letters The great thing about televisio something important h : world, day or night, you c ~ channel. ee: MP’s Letter to a Constituent (obtained by the Underground, and reprinted as a reminder as to why it’s important to write letters to MP’s, especially when they say stuff like this) Thank you for sharing your concerns regarding Bill C-250, An Act to amend the Criminal Code (hate propaganda). Bill C-250 is a private member's Bill that attempts to add sexual orientation to the definition of identifiable groups. The public incitement to hatred section of the Criminal Code of Canada (Section 319) would then make it a crime to make public statements in any public place that would incite hatred against any identifiable group. The identifiable group list would be expanded from colour, race, religion and ethnic origin to include sexual orientation. | am sure that you can appreciate that it should be a crime to incite hatred against people based upon race, religion, etc. Adding sexual orientation, however, is quite problematic. The first problem is vagueness. Is sexual orientation meant to include all sexual orientations or is it limited to homosexuality? Would a person speaking out against pedophilia (a sexual orientation) expose himself / herself to a Criminal Code charge? A second problem could arise when an individual quotes scripture with approval in a public place. A number of sections of the Bible and other holy texts specifically disapprove of homosexual activity in particular, and other forms of sexual activity in general outside of marriage. A third problem concerns the harm that the Bill purports to address. At present there is no evidence of identifiable harm that needs the Criminal Code to remedy. A fourth problem concerns the infringements on a citizen’s Charter rights to freedom of speech, thought and beliefs, and the expression of those freedoms. The proposed Bill is a significant infringement on those rights, which in my view is not justifiable in a free and democratic society. : Finally, the use of the Criminal Code in all circumstances seems to me to be a heavy-handed intervention by the state in the affairs of its citizens where the citizens may passionately disagree about the proper expression in public on issues such as sexual orientation. Therefore, | will not be supporting this Bill at Committee. In my view, it fails because of vagueness, absence of proof of harm, infringement of Charter Rights, Scriptural sanctity and an inappropriate use of the Criminal Code. There may be other reasons that will be advanced to the Justice Committee during the course of its deliberations, but the foregoing, in my opinion are sufficient to not support the Bill. Thank you for writing. Sincerely, John McKay, M.P. Scarborough East mailto: undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca subject: letters News Wednesday, April 9, 2003 The Underground's point-by-point refutation of the MP’s letter (disguised not-so-subtly as an Editor’s note) Editor’s Note: In case it wasn’t totally clear to you that McKay is dumb as a fence-post... Dear Mr. McKay 1. The term sexual orientation is not vague. Its addition to the list would mean that it would be illegal to promote hate towards people of any sexual orientation: Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer, two-spirited or anything else above below or in-between. 2. (Weare loathe to defend pedophiles but...) Pedophilia is not wrong because pedophiles are sexually attracted to children, but rather because children (not being fully cognizant adults) cannot give full consent to adult sex partners. Pedophilic sex acts are illegal because they are non-consensual, not because they are morally objectionable. Two adult consenting women that wish to have sex should be allowed to do so, and they should be free to do so without fear of being persecuted or subject to hateful propaganda and violence. 3. Most holy texts, even if they are not amicable to the idea of homosexuality, do not, in fact, incite hatred. | hate to say it, but Mr. McKay, if you think that the Bible might become illegal because of this Bill, then you must think that the Bible is hate propaganda. Besides which, scripture is not above the law in a secular state. Is Canada a secular state? We thought so. Is the Bible above the law? Ditto. 4. This Bill is an infringement on citizens’ right to freedom of expression? A significant infringement? Certainly not more so than any of the other listed groups. Unless, of course, you are a homophobe, heterophobe, transphobe, polyphobe, biphobe, or you get our drift. Besides which, this Bill is not about making anyone’s beliefs illegal. It is about making it illegal to persecute a person for his or her sexual orientation. 5. Your last bit about the Criminal Code being heavy-handed... well... that’s got to be a problem with the Criminal Code. Scenes froma pretentious art party A part 1 Always making things illegal and restricting your ability to string up queers and burn them at the stake. We might prefer a laissez-faire approach to crime-fighting too... if we thought that would keep all our queer friends and family safe. Be (™Underground Weekly Haiku by Sachin Hingoo The wind blows outside Even though it’s damn April This haiku blows too. Get The Dirt. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ 5 The Underground | like Bible Classes The new course listings and descriptions are out, and an impressive list it is. While many are afraid of the negative effects the double cohort will have on the coming school year, the increased volume of students has caused a need for an extraordinary number of extra classes. Thankfully, rather than merely double the number of lectures for any given class, there has been an increase in the variety of courses. Some errors have been found in the new Registration Guide, however. On page 16 of the guide the ROSI codes for international Development Studies need to be corrected: IDS Specialist BSc—SCSPE25406 IDS Specialist BA—SCSPE2540 IDS & Environmental Studies Specialist—SCSPE1401 Orgy at 1 AM, April 12*, Outside Tim Horton’s Due to the need to hook up the ARC, all power, including emergency power, will be shut off in the Bladen Wing and R-Wing on Saturday, April 5" from midnight till 7AM as well as on Saturday, April 12" from midnight till 7AM. It is asked that you do not study in these areas at these times, but | say if you want to study in cold concrete blackness, do as you damn well please. Ballads and Baghdad Thursday, May 1%‘ is being claimed by Poets Against the War as the International Day of Poetry against the War. There is a call to hold anti-war poetry readings world- wide as a emotional and lyric response to Bush’s bombs and bullets. Check out http://PoetsAgainstTheWar.org for more information. Define "Irony" A notice from the Metro Network for Social Justice: "Due to the ongoing work with the SARS outbreak, Toronto Public Health has canceled the workshop called "Can | Catch This?" (Communicable Disease and TB Prevention)." More Psychotic Baptist Fundamentalists Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas failed to show for his planned visit to London, U.K. to disrupt the final showing of "The Laramie Project." News The News In Brief... Gay rights groups Outrage!, the National Union of Students LGB group, The Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association, and Queeruption gathered at the Cochrane Theater in London to confront the preacher. It seems that the strength of the protes- tors intimated Phelps enough to keep him away. Phelps has organized thousands of anti-gay protests in the past, usually sur- rounding funerals, using such slogans as "Aids Cures Fags," and "Fags Die, God Laughs." At Matthew Sheppard’s funeral Phelps and his followers announced that “Matt is in hell." Sheppard was a gay student who was beaten and left to die tied to a fence; his story and death is the basis for "The Laramie Project." More Psychotic Religious Fundamentalists: are we seeing a trend here? A source within the British Columbia Conference of the United Church of Canada has confirmed the existence of "Operation Clean Sweep." The source is a high-rank- ing member of the church, and is speaking in confidentiality. "Operation Clean Sweep" was a 1996 directive commenced by the United Church to destroy any documents having a relation to the rape, torture, murder, involuntary sexual sterilization, and organized pedophile and sex slavery network which was all happening at the expense of local First Nations. The directive was a direct response to the first class action lawsuit against the church by First Nations survivors of the Alberni residential school, where accusations were made by Kevin Annett, former Reverend of the church, as well as an eyewitness to murder at the school that children had been killed and secretly buried behind the school. The violence was a definite attempt at genocide, and according to the church source the sterilizations were "simply to stop pagan Indians from breeding,” reminis- cent of the sixteenth century Spanish Conquests. A vigil for the victims of the genocide will be held Friday, April 18 at 7PM outside St. Andrew's Wesley United Church at Nelson and Burrard streets in downtown Vancouver. The vigil has been put together by Kevin Annett, the former Reverend who spoke out against the crimes. Yet More Faith and Death Lawyers are threatening Coalition forces that both political and military leaders will likely be prosecuted for war crimes if Iraqi human shields are killed in the war on Iraq. Human Shield Action is an organization trying to uphold the Geneva Convention. They insist that human shields are civilians and cannot be harmed. Coalition forces are arguing against this, and say that they are not under the same protection as other civilians due to their direct involvement with the war effort. More problems will certainly arise in the debate, especially now that Hussein has made a direct call for jihad, a holy war that many Muslims will sacrifice themselves for. As a result of the call for jihad, Arabs across the Middle East are now volunteering for the war to defend Iraq. Many of them are refusing to support Hussein’s regime, but they are asserting that they are fighting for Islamic holy lands. The News in Brief is compiled by The Underground's News Editor, Gordon Lane. —e nn ee Contact Gordon at brokennewseditor@hotmail.com 6 http://www. utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ — , Feature Wednesday, April 9, 2003 Dig ifest Was Someth Ng Sachin “It Was No Robocop 2” Hingoo It sure was. Associate Editor yup. that’s a computer strapped to his head... Two weeks ago, two members of the Underground editorial staff scored press passes to Digifest, an exhibition of digital media that was put on by the Design Exchange and several sponsors, including my arch-nemesis, Shift Magazine. All | can say is that I’m glad we didn’t pay. | mean, it was dece, but nothing worth $30 (the pricetag for a mere one day of this. three-day conference). Here’s what happened. OH AREN’T YOU INNOVATIVE AND SHIT The first exhibit that we saw was a piece by post-sculpture (my term) artists, Transgenic Morphosis. Don’t worry, they aren't as pretentious as their name makes them sound, they’re even more pretentious than that. Before entering the exhibit, we were accosted by a man in a lab coat with a huge, flashing device that looked like the thing they used to pull the bug out of Neo’s stomach in The Matrix. Lab Coat then proceeded to “scan” us with the device, which emitted some bleeps. | wondered if this contraption had robbed me of the abil- ity to get an erection (nope). Thoroughly confused, we entered the exhibit after being handed an anti-static bag filled with goodies. And by goodies | mean a pretty cool fake tattoo, a description of the exhibit, and our “external implant” (and here | thought that those words didn’t go together), which was required to ‘interface’ with the pieces inside. Upon entering the exhibit itself, we were greeted with a bunch of arcane-looking virtual reality headsets that might've been thrown together in someone’s garage (or so they would have us believe). So you would plug your “implant” that wasn’t implanted anywhere into these helmets and see short 8-millimetre movies featuring things like skeletons and = blood cells. It was all very abstract in a way that might've been cool if it had something to say, which it didn’t. The music was pretty cool though. YOU ARE NOT A CYBORG, SHITFACE One of the speakers at the event was “full-time cyborg” , James [9] Fung. Fung is a U of T student that got the bright idea of strapping | a webcam/video screen to his left (my right) eye and — wait for it [% P= — walking around! He broadcasts the images to his website too. | Big deal, | say. | would probably have no trouble finding someone & who’s willing to do that on the internet, and I'd more than likely get | some porn out of it. Not to mention the fact that calling oneself a cyborg when all you’ve done is effectively taped a computer to your face is questionable at best. Mr. Fung, you’re no more of a cyborg | than | am when | carry around my cell phone. Thanks for nothing. | Actually, thanks for something. Fung described in his presen- | | tation a concert (he called it an anti-concert or a post-concert or | | something like that) that he had at the St. George campus a few | | weeks ago. What was kind of cool was that this concert didn't feature a DJ, or performers of any sort. Instead, Fung and his | posse hooked up everyone in the audience to EEG monitors, and | their brainwaves were used to control the music. | did get to speak with someone who attended, and he said that the music wasn't | really music, but noise. It’s a cool idea anyways. You're still not a | cyborg though. SAMPLING WORKSHOP TURNS OUT TO BE INFANTILE Under the auspices of making a statement about copyright or censorship or something, we sat down for a whopping fifteen min- utes to cut pictures out of magazines and paste them into collages. | paid thirty dollars for this? Oh wait, | didn't. Speaking for myself, | went to this event for the express purpose of seeing Ninja Tune DJ and the messiah of mixing, Amon Tobin. Now, this .! might be a direct result of him playing to the wrong crowd, or the fact that his performance was at 3 in the afternoon, but Tobin’s set lacked some- thing fundamental to a good DJ performance, that is, audience participa- tion (read: dancing). Instead, the mostly uppity and too-cool-for-school So to sum up, we left the event early because it was starting to become tiresome, and we had sex parties and raves to attend that Digifest attendees mostly looked on with what appeared to be a general ennui. Here’s one of the most talented DJ’s in the world. Yawn. | actually felt a little bad for Tobin, who has rocked crowds from London to places other than London and whose talents were completely underappreciated by this crowd. Tobin’s performance was accompanied by a stunning visual presenta- tion by Mixmotion, who mixed video images live, along with the music. The result was an amazing experience that was lost on many of the uber- hip members of the audience. It should also be noted that Tobin lit up and smoked an entire joint onstage at the Design Exchange. How coo! is that? _word of the week! Marked by attention fo all circumstances and probable consequences, cautious; prudent. http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ evening. But Digifest did teach me one thing: never take a cyborg at face value - a lesson that | will remember when the machines finally take over, and all of mankind is enslaved. Until then, | can’t say much more than Digifest was dece, and that’s only because of Amon Tobin and the Mixmotion presentation. If the rest of these hacks are the “pioneers” of digital culture that Shift has been tout- ing, well, let's just say that | can’t wait for smallpox. The Underground Arts Holly Cousineau Assassination Tango is the tale of John Anderson (Duvall), a mature hit man who is sent to do a Job in Argentina. His initial intentions are to get the job done quickly and return to his girlfriend and her daughter in Brooklyn. However, an accident that delays the arrival of his target leaves him stranded until further notice. One evening, as he is wandering the streets of Argentina he stumbles upon a dancing club. As he enters the club, he spots a couple performing 'the tango and is so captivated by the dancing that he spends the next few weeks immersed in the tango scene. He also spends his time trying to get the attention of a tango instructor named Manuela (Luciana Pedraza, Duvall’s current real-life girlfriend). Amazingly, this woman - who is half his age - wants to become involved with him and begins to pursue him. At first | was intrigued by the movie's laid back atmosphere, then halfway through the movie | began Written by: Robert Duvall go Produced by: Robert Duvall, Rob Carliner, Executive Producers: Linda Reisman, Francis Ford Coppola Directed by: Robert Duvall Starring: Robert Duvall, Ruben Blades, Kathy Baker, and Luciana Pedraza Rating: to believe this was some kind fantasy film for elderly men going through a three-quarter-life crisis. In the movies’ production notes, they claim Duvall’s motivation for this film was a combination of his love of moviemak- ing and his love of the tango. Actually, the only things that seemed well done about the film were the tango scenes, so he did get his point across about his love for the dance. However, as for his love of moviemaking, the script and the continuity of the movie were com- pletely inconsistent. The problem with this film isn’t with Duvall’s acting/ writing skills. He has proved his acting skills in movies such as “The Godfather” and “The Apostle”, the latter of which also happened to be his debut as a screenwriter. It just seems as though he didn’t put as much of an effort into this film. Even the cinematography seemed blurry and amateurish, although it’s possible that this could be the fault of the theatre. | Wasn’t Bored After All! Shadows Fall bring their intensity to the Opera House Andrew C. Epstein Columnist As the ice storm slammed into the city last Thursday night, | was pretty sure that my trek from Scarborough to downtown would be worth it. At that point I’d heard two Shadows Fall (who is featured on this years Ozzfest) albums and wasn’t extremely partial to the Massachusetts band’s style of death metal. Upon reaching the Opera House just moments before the band arrived, | was surprised to see the amount of people who, like me, had actually braved the storm to come. It was only perhaps half-sold, so my enthusiasm after having been in the storm didn’t really rise. But | have a serious history of loving bands live (as opposed to recorded), and this was one of those times. Dwelling on material from their last two releases, the band ripped open the show with a ferocity that | haven't seen in a very long time. Lead vocalist Brian Fair became the focal point of the show with the help of his waist-long dreadlocks and crushing vocals that could slip into melodic singing at a moments notice. Both gui- tarists also share backup vocal duties and actually had a pretty good assortment of metal vocals. Through a mix of older songs like “Of One Blood” and “Crushing Belial” and a selection of tunes from their new record The Art of Balance, the band maintained a good level of energy to compliment the music. The songs themselves, while sounding a bit small on the recording, take on a new life in the live setting and get that much-needed boost that the records are missing. Despite the small crowd that couldn't really make too much noise, the band was good-natured but didn’t dwell on stage banter too much. Collectively, they are a strange bunch, as the guitarists and bassist all look like the remnants of a hardcore death metal band, while the singer and drummer look like they should be in a rap-rock band, all the way down to their matching bas- ketball jerseys. But the strange lineup seems to work and the band worked hard for 80 minutes to win over a half-capacity crowd. When a band cares enough to thrill a couple hundred with as much power as they would use on a couple thousand, then you have an act worth seeing. The poor quality of the movie culminates to a scene where Duvall’s character gets illicit with a prostitute who later reports in a police interview that he asked her to call him ‘daddy’ in the sack. At least the scene provided a fleeting moment of comedic release in an otherwise lengthy and illogical film. Well, actually there were a couple of other elements that were quite humorous such as John’s interaction with Manuela’s feisty aunt and the miniature weapon he is given to use on his Stay in Argentina (which winds up being his weapon of choice for his assassination). By the time the climax arrives, it seems impossible to determine how half the people involved in the assas- sination were implicated. Somewhere between the underdeveloped romance and disorganized plot, Duvall shows the world that he is not only fond of tango but that he can perform it as well, and for that he deserves at least one star. ‘http://www.utsc:utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ : | | Life Wednesday, April 9, 2003 Life, It’s Not Just That Photography Magazine You Never Read Rob Chung Staff Writer The end. Is not the world so much more beautiful when we no longer have 10 page essays due, despite the 8 feet of ice that we are covered in? Just wait until it all melts, | say. Then we'll be swimming in slushy, dirty, salty water. How lovely is the Outer Lot going to be when this remnant of winter finally melts away? I'd almost rather pay the $6 an hour and park in the visitors’ parking. At least then | wouldn't have to walk 15 minutes through puddles so deep that even knee high waders aren't sufficient to keep me dry. But then, | guess that’s just the life of a UTSC student. Or is it? And next year, hopefully | won’t have to go to UTSC’s mothership too often - the Borg-like building called Robarts Library. Not that | mind it there - it does remind me quite a bit of UTSC, or the school that | hesitatingly call “home”, though | spend as little time here as possible. But then, no one really spends time in their real homes or even wants to, so | guess UTSC is like home in that way. It’s too bad that my real home has more books and certainly more study space than all of UTSC. Not to mention the number of available computers. In my real home, there is one computer that will always be available to me, and a second one which should the fates kick me in the teeth once more and mess up the first computer, will be there just in case. Which is more than | can say about Scarborough Campus, but then, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Right? | hope not... Speaking of cookies: I’m going to petition to have an organic farm placed directly into the Meeting Place, covered by a dome which would grow the food that campus food kiosks could sell. This organic food dome would grow those strange healthy things called vegetables and fruits - no, not deep-fried apples, but real, fresh fruits. Yes, it’s a little bit unorthodox, but sometimes people just have to try something new. Another big plan | have for next year is to rebuild morale in this place, even if | have to do it myself. How can one person take on this near impossible task you may ask, when others (Dan Bandurka et al) have failed so easily? Simple, by hiring an army of hermaphrodite clowns to entertain us with acrobatic tricks and power juggling during our disheartening marches between classes. It’s difficult to understand why, though the answer is so clear, so many people have failed to grasp it. What is funnier than a hermaphrodite clown? * Seriously though, throughout the year, you have heard me complain about almost everything, except for one club that | may or may not be allowed to men- tion anymore since they (Big Brother and his cronies) thought that | was a little too biased. But cheers to you guys - you know who you are. Did | ever mention how Molson Canadian has changed my life? Getting back to the point: | know | complain a lot - about food, about morale, about the lack things to do, about park- ing, the library, and so on. And some people say that if you're willing to whine and bitch, you should have a plan of action in order to remedy the malign situation. Well the organic dome and hermaphrodite clowns are just two of my suggestions. Here’s the best one: what if the radio played 22 hours of euro dance, trance and house music? | only hear euro on UTSC radio once in a blue moon. More dance music equals more ‘happy time’. Now for those of you who don’t agree with me, | really have nothing to say, except that Tony Monaco is God. So is DJ Danny D. For that matter why don’t we also include Gigi D’Agostino, Dj Sammy, Sash! and Nek in our list of divine inspiration(s). And if you don’t know what I'm talking about, then none of this is going to make any sense. But then, why does it have to? When all is said and done, everyone here knows that there really isn't anywhere else you'd rather be. Sure, we could be downtown, or at Western, Guelph, or Queens, or even Lakehead. But then what fun would we have except for everything that they have and we don't (I won't mention specifics for fear of bursting into tears)? | mean, if we didn’t have UTSC, then we wouldn't have anything to complain about, and then where would | be? Certainly not writing for this paper. So for this, my last article for this school year, | would like to close by saying, so long, have a good summer, and always remember that in the Northern Hemisphere, toilets always flush clockwise. Not A Mr. Clean Convention Christian Lucier Life Editor When walking into the Meeting Place last Thursday, | thought that a Mr. Clean Convention was going on, but upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a head-shaving fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society put on by Cops for Cancer. Every year policemen all over the country raise funds by shav- ing their heads, and then donate the proceeds to the Canadian Cancer Society. This year’s event was a bit different then the ones in the past. Seven students went head to head with seven members of the Campus Police to see who could raise the most funds. Call it a contest if you will. The Campus Police smoked the _ students. Chris Charalombous raised the most funds for the Campus Police with a whopping $1080 dollars, while Quentin Stossel led the students with a respectable $575 dollars. In total, funds were just over $5600 dollars, which is almost $2000 dollars more then last year. Put in a little competition, and look what happens. Pizza, as well as raffle tickets for a number of prizes were sold, which probably brought in close to $1000 bucks (included in total). The students didn’t walk away empty-handed though. Each participant received a Cops for Cancer t-shirt, baseball cap, and a Mach3 Razor to maintain their new Vin Diesel look. So, if you see a Campus Policemen in the hall or a student sporting a shaved head, give him or her a pat on the back. These people did a very good deed for a very needy cause. Kudos. Editor’s Note: We are, indeed, watching Rob Chung. And we did, indeed, think he wrote way too many articles about the | Am Canadian Club. There, are you happy now Rob? a http:/Awww.utsc.utoronto.ca/+undergnd/ 9 The Underground Life * University of Toronto at Scarborough Police « Summary of INCIDENTS University of Toronto Police at Scarborough 1265 Military Trail, Toronto, ON M1C 1A4 Telephone: (416) 287-7398 Fax: (416) 287-7641 E-Mail: police@utsc.utoronto.ca In keeping with our community policing philosophy, the following occurrences are brought to the attention of the University Of Toronto community. If you have questions or information about any of these incidents, please do not hesitate to contact the Duty Corporal at (416) 287-7398. SUMMARY OF INCIDENTS March 28/03 @ 9:43 pm; UTSC Police investigated a motorist for a driving offence. ; Ref: 03-720-0802-034 March 28/03 @ 11:00 pm; A UTSC student reported damage to his auto while parked in the inner parking lots. Damage, approx. $500, advised to attend a Collision Reporting Centre. Ref: 03-711-0802-010 March 29/03 @ 4:00 pm; A UTSC staff member reported that her vehicle had been broken into while parked in the inner parking lots. Theft approx. $200. Ref: 03-730-0701-005 March 30/03 @ 8:32 am; UTSC Police issued a male a Provincial Offence Notice for a driving offence. Ref: 03-720-0701-035 March 31/03 @ 9:15 am; UTSC Police issued a male a written trespass warn- ing under the Trespass to Property Act. Ref: 03-720-0701-036 April 01/03 @ 10:40 pm; UTSC Police responded to a medical call on the 2nd level of the Science Wing. The victim refused medical treatment. Ref: 03-001-200S-015 April 03/03 @ 10:25 am; UTSC Police investigated minor graffiti in a 2" level Bladen Building male washroom. Facilities Services advised for clean-up. Ref: 03-810-20B-005 April 03/03 @ 2:00 pm; A UTSC staff member reported damage to UofT property on the 1st level of the underground parking garage. Damage approx. $1000. Ref: 03-711-200B-011 sAGS THERES April 03/03 @ 10:37 pm; UTSC Police and the Toronto.Affibulance Service responded to a Phase 1 residence unit for a medical €all. A female student was transported to hospital for treatment by ambulance. we Ref: 03-120-210E-002 y a April 06/03 @ 4:00 am; UTSC Police invgStigated 4 malés on the 2nd level of the Science Wing consuming open alco ol. Three.of the males were issued Provincial Offence Notices and writigh trespass warnings and escorted from campus. f yA é Ref: 03-630-200S-001 f f : April 06/03 @ 5:45 pm; UTSC Police inv Stigated minor graffiti in a 2™ fevel Bladen Building male washroo a. FacilitieS Services advised for clean-u Ref: 03-810-20B-006 i | & 3 —_ a Fn : April 07/03 @ 12:50 am; UTSC Se (eee ed 2 males in a 3rd level Bladen Building stairwell. Bath were issued written Gok UNE: IEE escorted from campus. i & ° “te Ref: 03-610-200B-005 ; ~ April 07/03 @ 4:44 pm; UTSC Police issued a female a Préyincial Offence Notice for a driving offence. % %, Ref: 03-720-0802-037 WIN A GRAND PRIZE OF $3000 or one of the following: 10 prizes of $500 20 Oster® In2itive™ Blender / Food Processors 80 Sunbeam Coffeemakers Please visit: www.campusplus.com/survey for your chance to win. Sponsored by your Campus Newspaper, Sunbeam, and by Campus Plus, a division of Canadian University Press. Sunbeam @Qster campus pius All personal information provided is strictly private and confidential, and will be used for research only. BONUS-KU RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: KILL FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER LET GOD SORT EM Out! $$$ ee 10 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Life Wednesday, April 9, 2003 Lo Ce ae ee aa ee a ee ee Satan's Bakesale Andrew C. Epstein, (TLOD) This week, Frog in Your Throat columnist Merika Ramundo sent me a response about my article in last week’s issue: Dearest Andrew, | am compelled to write to you in response to your article entitled, “Love Me Two Times” published in last week’s Underground. After reading about your slut contest, a million things swarmed through my head. | had heard some rum- blings about the contest but never in my wildest dreams imagined that you would publish the results. Some of the people that you named in your piece are my friends, as are you and | hope that this response doesn’t come off as sounding “preachy” or “didactic” in any way, shape or form. Let me first start by saying that | don’ t think that there is anything wrong with sexual experimentation in the prime of one’s life (hey, I’ve done it myself) however my concerns are as follows: 4. That the people who partook in the contest that included categories like group sex, BDSM, voyeurism etc. were not taking safety/health issues into account which distresses me to no avail. lve learnt the hard way that no one is invincible in this world, no matter what age you are. | would be very relieved if this was not the case and there was an extra rule on playing safe that was not mentioned in the article. 2. That the people who partook in the contest were not fully informed of the social/lifestyle contexts that envelop alternative sexual practices like S/M for instance. The second point is of concern to me because | have been a guest at your sex/BDSM parties and have found them to be well...at the most, an experiment in the spectacle. | have found through my own interaction with the party-goers that most are not well-informed on the rules of engagement with sexual practices such as S/M and are just there “to see what’s going to happen’. | know that you yourself are well versed and that brings me some relief but unfortunately you can’t spread the knowledge to everyone who walks through the door and what the party ends up becoming is a romp in sensationalism. Why is this a concern to me? Because people are not informed enough to engage in these acts for reasons beyond those of curiosity thus compromising the integrity of these prac- tices. There is a serious lack of education and dialogue around these issues. Why do | care so much? Well, before coming to UTSC | starting doing my Masters in English at Concordia and my thesis was on “Literature of Risk” and how writers throughout history like the Marquis de Sade and Anais Nin tried to give new light to practices that are still viewed as taboo by most. What | learnt through my research was that practices like S/M, bondage, voyeurism and sexual fetishes are part of a sub-culture that sees these acts as being an intrinsic lifestyle choice that, like any other lifestyle choice, is based on a set of principles or “rules” (like the use of a safe word in S/M prac- tices) in order to preserve the needs and safety of those involved. In my own research, most of the people who were into S/M never publicized it and chose not to, not because they were afraid to, but rather because it “just is”. Your article disturbed me because | don’t think that it really revealed anything about “human- ity’ and “honesty”. It was published for everyone to see without a thought to those who practice those same sexual acts everyday minus the contest. | have always enjoyed reading your reactions to readers and would love to hear your thoughts. | hope that this response opens up a dialogue that goes beyond this page. Respectfully yours, Merika Ramundo My response shortly followed: My darling Merika, | agree with everything you said. | think you misunderstood the nature of the contest. In reality it is one big joke, as everyone involved knows each other and everyone also knew that the results were going to be published, so it isn’t a surprise for anyone. As far as the BDSM stuff goes, it was not a requirement for anyone to do those things, it was just there so people involved who do take part in those activi- ties could receive points for their actions. If | were to show you the individual point breakdown, you’d see that the participa- tion in that category was very limited. People have different sex lives, and the contest was taking that into account. As far as our parties, yes | agree completely they are an experiment in spectacle, nothing more. | just want to provide some entertainment for the guests. It is not meant to promote any particular activity. The slut contest was just a joke and the article was simply an anecdote about something that happened. | had no real goal with it, except to entertain. | know you want to start a dialogue, but the thing is | totally agree with you so it won’t be very interesting. However | will say that | think you have misinterpreted what | was trying to do, which was simply entertain. Nine times out of ten | write seriously about things that bother me or give me cause to think, but this wasn't one of those times, it was just silliness. Lots of love, Andrew All right, so this time it wasn’t some sort of huge fight, and perhaps not as entertaining, but it was Merika’s concern that | wanted you to see. She felt so deeply about her point that expressing it to me was something that became very important to her. It was her wonderful lack of apathy that made me want to put her words here. She and other cre- ative spirits put themselves out there for everyone to see as an example of free expression. So perhaps it is the artist that will actually inherit the Earth. So the rest of you better hurry up and form an opin- ion on something. soul, funk 10:00pm, a and disco 416-284-1978 4576 Kingston Rd. (just ¢ east of Morningside) ee een acca ee a a eS a aa T 11 http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~undergnd/ Wipers te ta Po. a A ut The Underground Events —r x >>—————— SS a re eres Cr Ongoing: 1PM Public Space monthly meeting. Monthly meetings are open to the public and give you an opportunity to meet others in the group and plug into the planning and implementation processes. We meet on the last Sunday of every month. For location and info contact info@publicspace.ca Ongoing: Thursdays 9-11:45pm - Free U of T Philosophical Discussion. 416.938.3366. Open to all and FREE. 7 Hart House Circle. Ongoing: Forth Monday of each month. 7-9PM. Freedom for Animais animai rights meetings. free_ animals@hotmail.com. 416.596.233. 519 Church St. Community Centre at Wellesley. Ongoing: Last Friday of every month. 6PM Critical Mass meets for an easy one-hour cycle. Corner of Yonge and Temperance, two blocks south of Queen. Cngoing: Thursdays Toronto Mobilization for Global Justice: 6:30PM-Education Committee Meetings: Metro Hall. 7PM-General Meetings: OISE, 252 Bloor St. W. #2295. Contact 416.280.6415 April 8-10 9Am-5PM each day. Students for a Free Tibet at the University of Toronto present: Tibet Cultural Week. Medical Sciences Building front lobby. Try Tibetan food, see Dhondrup: the yak dance, and have fun in Tibetan style! Info sft_utoronto@yahoo.com April 9 5PM Fighting Back: Direct Action Against War and Racsim. OISE, Rm. 2295 252 Bloor (St. George Subway). Food and videos.. Discussion on different successful Direct Action Tactics and Strategies (featuring discussants who've been involved in global justice activism, union flying squad organizing, and more) April 10 7PM Youth Against War.A Red Thursday Public Forum. Featuring: Andy Scheim: high-school based anti-war activist and member of Stir It Up!; Liisa Schofield: York University anti-war activist, member of NEWS on Iraq; Denise Hammond: activist with City-Wide Students Against Sanctions and War in Iraq (SASWI) OISE -- 4th Floor -- Room 4-414 (252 Bloor Street West at St. George Subway Station, Toronto) Cost: free April 10 7PM Poetic License. An evening of women's poetry. Presented by the Toronto Women's Bookstore. Readings by:Nicole Brossard, Tatiana De La Tierra, Rishma Dunlop, Ruth Mandel. sPaHa Restaurant, 66 Harbord Street (North East corner of Spadina and Harbord). Free. April 11 6:30PM dinner/ 8:30PM show. Free the Cuban Five - Toronto presents Dance for Freedom / Baile para Libertad. Lula Lounge, 1585 Dundas St W, west of Dufferin (check out lula.ca, or call the Free the Five infoline at 416 533-7971) Vegetarian meal available by advance arrangement; please inform $$ a I a Minn (GT Gacy us when ordering tickets. Cash bar. Tickets $25.00 for dinner and show, $10.00 show only, available in advance. For more info: www. freethecubanfive.ca; www.anti-terroristas.cu and www.freethefive.org April 11 10PM-3AM Smerk presents Splinter has Weapons of Mass Destruction. Classic Smerk sound. Hardcore Jungle and Breaks. DJ's Enduser, Dev79, Line 47, Rusuden, c64 and Vox. $5. Audiowerks, 423 Queen W. April 12 1PM-11PM Artists Against War Peace Festival. Anti-war celebration showcasing a variety of musicians, visual artists and performers. Featuring Lowest of the Low, The Rheostatics, Evalyn Parry, King Cob Steely, Wakefield Brewster, DJ Denise Benson, and many more. Volunteers needed for set-up and strike, security, fundraising, and trained first aid. Contact Sara or Mansy: wvolunteers@hotmail.com April 13 2:30PM “Musically Speaking," a one- hour enlightening program of historical performance at the Church of the Holy Trinity, 10 Trinity Square (near the Eaton Centre, on the west side) FREE. info: 416.966.1409, temc@interlog.com Basoonist Nadina Mackie Jackson will perform solo works by Telemann, Scarlatti and Bach. April 14-26 AlucinARTe. All events are free. Two art exhibitions, one short film and video screening night, three weekends of theaer readings, performances, and live music. 35 local and international Latin American Artists. Visual Arts: Gallery 1313, 1313 Queen W. April 14 7PM opening, through April 20, 1-6PM. Video: Romero House, 1585 Bloor W. April 16, 8PM. All else: El Trompo Restaurant/Gallery, 277 Augusta Ave. April 18, 8PM opening; April 19, 24, 25, 26: 8PM: April 20: 5PM April 15 7:30PM Waging Peace through Peaceful Means. Friends House, 60 Lowther Ave, Toronto 1 bl north of St. George TTC, Bedford exit. A forum with: Bruna Nota - Conscience Canada Taxes for Peace, Not War; Lyn Adamson - Nonviolent Peaceforce Nonviolent presence in conflict zones; Jane Pritchard - Christian Peacemaker Team, recently returned from Iraq. Moderator - Don Woodside. Followed by discussion: what are the alternatives to militarism and war? What is true security? How do we build for peace? Info: Lyn Adamson: 416-596-7328 April 17th, Passover Pit for Peace Hi, I'm organizing an anti-war kinda show on April 17th (passover, hence the name Passover Pit for Peace). The Line-Up is my band (Up the ANTI), Green Division, Jerkbank and Flying Low. Doors are at 7: 30 or so, cover is 7 bucks. Throughout the night there will be a ballot box set up for people to vote on where the money is going to go. Probably going to be War Child or something along those lines. I'll be MCing and intervening in between sets with statistics and rants and the like, and there will be posters and info up all If you know of an event that might benefit from a little bit of buzz (i.e. Ticketmaster is not involved) let us know by sending an email with “EVENTS” in the subject line to: The Underground and its staff do not guarantee any information often sketchy nature of such events, the details are liable to change, any contact information provided beforehand.... and otherwise, undergnd@utsc.utoronto.ca printed in this listing. Due to the or be outright false. Make use of have fun! night to inform and educate people on what this war's really all about, and why we're so pissed off about it. | just came across your website and thought this may be an event you would be interested in posting Increase the Peace -Duke April 16 6:30PM A FORCE MORE POWERFUL A Century of Nonviolent Conflict Part 1 (1.5 hour) followed by the facilitated discussion. Free admission but donation appreciated. Wend, April 16 2003 6-30 pm to 9-00 pm Room 179, University College, 15 King's College Circle, University of Toronto The riveting three-hour documentary - narrated by Academy Award winning actor Ben Kingsley - explores how, during a century of extreme violence, millions around the world chose to battle the forces of oppression and brutality with nonviolent weapons - and won. Part two to be held same place, same time on April 23. April 19th, Ohms Not Bombs Hi, Thought you guys might be interested our event Ohms Not Bombs, April 19th, Trinity Bellwoods Park in Toronto. The rave community united to protest the war involving over 11 diferent promotions companies. April 19 8PM Hugh's Room and Marilyn Gilbert present! Come Sing for PEACE! Nancy White, Kenny Kirkwood, Eve Goldberg, Paul Mills, and surprises 2261 Dundas W. 416.531.6604 April 24-May 3 8PM DQ 2003. She's back and bigger than ever! DQ'03 is a spectacular and cheeky Broadway-Las Vegas style revue, with a cast of 45 talented male performers from every walk of life, who magically transform into glamorous drag queens. Hart House Theatre, 7 Hart House Circle. Saturday matinees at 4:00 p.m. No performance on April 27. Tickets $25 to $50. Tickets opening night gala, April 24th: $100; tickets closing night gala, May 3rd: $75. Purchased by telephone: Hart House Box Office: 416.978.8668. www.dq03.org May 1 7PM 17th Annual Socialist May Day Celebration Stop this Bloody War! Enjoy delicious food from the menu and drinks from the bar. Literature display, raffle, and surprises. For details call the Free Times Cafe at 416.967.1078. Free Times Cafe, 320 College St., (2 blocks west of Spadina) Admission: $10 waged, $5 non-waged, or pay what you can May 15 7:30PM Canadian Woman Studies invites you to a special fundraising event. An Intimate Evening with Cathy Jones at Theatre Passe Muraille, 16 Ryerson Ave., Toronto. A special performance of Me, Dad, & the Hundred Boyfriends, starring Cathy Jones. Tickets to the play are only $40.00. Proceeds go to CWS. Hors d'oevres served, cash bar, door prizes. Reserve your seat now! Only a limited number of seats available! Purchased tickets at The Toronto Women's Book Store, 73 Harbour Street, Toronto 9970 4. i - ; 7 in = r a a ale iy a > - 7 - a _ _ Ae SERIAL BINDING SERVICES AUG 20 2003 SS eae eee ee oa ess = i Bilt Nit ie ae a ip ai a foi ie: rs Eat ye i sie Sadia, ze =e